Chapter 32 emergency
An empty tram is parked in the middle of the street, outside the tram, there is a shallow sun, and inside the tram, there is also the sun - this tram alone has a kind of primitive desolation.
Don't ask me where I am anymore, we are all scattered in the end of the world in order to live freely.Life is a dream, white clouds and dogs, today you see flowers like snow, tomorrow you will be buried deeply by falling flowers.Time kills us, and one day we will all be put to death.This is not cruel, all the time is squandered by ourselves, no one can replace anyone. In her later years, what Zhang Ailing had to do was to completely abandon her belongings.But she seems to be able to leave everything behind, feelings, fame and fortune, worldly affairs, the only thing she refuses to give up is her words.Because of being disturbed by Dai Wencai last time, Zhang Ailing was like a frightened bird, and she became more vigilant to the outside world.Her current address is kept strictly secret, not even her closest aunt. The apartment Zhang Ailing lived in this time did not last long.At first, when she was crossing the street, she was knocked down by a young man from Central and South America and broke her shoulder bone.She went to see a doctor by herself, but she was fine.But before long, some South American and Asian immigrants came to the apartment where she lived.Because the quality is not high, the hygiene is very bad.Some people even raised cats and dogs, attracting insects and ants, which made Zhang Ailing unbearable, so she wrote to Lin Shitong again asking to move. Eileen Chang has always disliked animals. She thinks that animals have similarities with humans. If they have flesh and blood, they will have distracting thoughts.So she would rather raise a few pots of flowers and plants, she thinks the plants are spiritual.But since she lived in isolation, she doesn't want anything anymore, only a few items are left, which accompany her to and fro, but she doesn't have any feelings, they just need to use them. In July 1997, Lin Shitong helped Zhang Ailing find a suitable apartment.Most importantly, the house is new enough to be bug free.Zhang Ailing was frightened by the fleas. She was old and weak and could no longer bear such harassment.The landlord of Zhang Ailing's new apartment is Iranian.Lin Shitong drove to accompany Eileen Chang to sign the contract together, and this time, it was also the second time Lin Shitong met Eileen Chang in more than ten years since he knew Eileen Chang.Over the years, Zhang Ailing only kept phone calls and correspondence with him, and she didn't want to disturb anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. Lin Shitong is an old-fashioned and warm-hearted person, although he is an architect and knows nothing about words.But he has an inexplicable admiration and admiration for this stubborn old man.More than ten years ago, they did not meet each other. As long as Eileen Chang needed help, he would not hesitate.He helped Zhang Ailing find a house and reissue the lost documents. He made his address as Zhang Ailing's permanent address.He never easily revealed Zhang Ailing's situation to anyone, and promised her that everything was kept very confidential. So Eileen Chang absolutely trusted Lin Shitong.In the United States, she had no relatives. In the last ten years, Lin Shitong was her only relative and the person she had most contact with in her later years. She even liked to chat with him. Although she was determined not to communicate with others, she Also be lonely.Lin Shitong also regarded her as a lonely old man, so he did everything he could to satisfy her requests. Once, she suddenly told Lin Shitong how Sanmao committed suicide.Lin Shitong didn't answer, because he didn't know who Sanmao was at all, and he didn't know that there was another woman in this world who was similar to Zhang Ailing but completely different.And Zhang Ailing also asked casually, to her, who is alive and who is dead in this world is no longer so important. Eileen Chang's new residence is a single apartment in Westwood District.The environment here is good, but too quiet.Eileen Chang doesn't like places that are too quiet, she likes to be noisy, it makes her feel safe.Maybe this is the great hermit living in the city, the years of silence are especially long, and it makes people feel lonely.But she still stayed, perhaps because she was old and she couldn't bear much trouble anymore.Despite her frequent complaints to the landlord, everything will pass. Zhang Ailing used a pseudonym Phong for her mailbox, a Vietnamese surname.She told the landlord that it was rumored that she had made a fortune, and she was afraid that those relatives would come to her to borrow money. Phong, her grandmother's name, is so common in China that it doesn't attract attention.It can be seen that she really worked hard to avoid the world.And this mailbox is only opened once a month, and it is always full, she doesn't care about it anymore. Because she moved frequently, she lost contact with her younger brother Zhang Zijing in Shanghai.Once, Zhang Zijing saw a line in the newspaper, the late female writer Zhang Ailing... He was very sad at the time, and after several twists and turns, he finally got in touch with Zhang Ailing, and the hanging heart was finally let go.After so many years, Zhang Zijing has gotten used to her sister's indifference, but in his heart, as long as he knows that she is alive, she is still alive. Later, when she heard that her aunt was ill, Eileen Chang would not return to Shanghai.For her, Shanghai is already a city of the past, and the stories that happened are already a past life.She almost couldn't remember some things, some people, even if she remembered it by chance, she couldn't feel it anymore.It is also a kind of cultivation for a person to live his life to this extent. In 1991, Zhang Ailing's good friend Yan Ying passed away.This friend who has been with her for half a century, although they have become estranged in recent years, she has always been very important in Eileen Chang's heart.In June of the same year, Zhang Ailing's aunt Zhang Maoyuan passed away in Shanghai.The aunt is Zhang Ailing's closest relative in the world, and they have been together for so many days and nights.It's just that it was too long ago. She tried her best to remember, but she still couldn't remember it. To her, life and death are like flowers blooming and fading, which is too ordinary.She has never been afraid that she will die suddenly one day, nor does she look forward to that day, because she knows that cause and effect are already doomed.So she let herself live alone, one year counts as one year, one day counts as one day.Life is just a simple existence, leaving behind the burden of the world, it is not important. In 1992, Lin Shitong suddenly received an important letter from Zhang Ailing, which turned out to be a copy of Zhang Ailing's will.The content of the will is: 1. All personal belongings will be left to Song Qi and his wife in Hong Kong;The executor of the will is Lin Shitong. Maybe Zhang Ailing was afraid that her actions would make Lin Shitong feel awkward. She explained in the letter: When buying a form in a bookstore, she bought a will by the way, so as not to confiscate any leftover money.In fact, Zhang Ailing watched the people around her leave one by one, dissipating in the smoke and dust of time, and she knew that she was not far from that day.Although she has no intention of life or death, she still has to make proper arrangements for her afterlife. However, she didn't know that after her death, Crown Publishing House and many publishing houses in mainland China filed endless lawsuits for the copyright of Eileen Chang's works.It's just that winning or losing wins or loses to her, and it has nothing to do with it anymore.She entrusted herself to the god of death, and the living only lived for their own mission.For their involuntary competition, Eileen Chang can deeply understand, because she has also lived seriously and hard. Although Zhang Ailing's seemingly unintentional confession still surprised Lin Shitong.He said in "Fate to Know Zhang Ailing": "At first glance, I thought this person was really weird. Why did you give me a suicide note... Song Qi was mentioned in the suicide note. I didn't know him, and the letter didn't explain them. The couple's liaison office only said that if I refused to be the executor, she could ask her to hire someone else. Isn't Zhang Ailing well? My mother is much older than her, and nothing happened..." After that, Lin Shitong did not reply She, because in his opinion, this is still a very distant thing, and he even forgot about it. After writing this letter, Zhang Ailing hid herself in an unknown place in Yunshen.Even Lin Shitong and Zhang Ailing rarely contacted each other again, and he didn't know how Zhang Ailing lived in the next few years.Zhang Ailing is still the same as before. Although she is in the world of mortals, she seems to live in a deep valley.Occasionally go out for a walk, buy some daily necessities, go to the bookstore a few times, and don't like to say hello to neighbors. But Eileen Chang could not be completely calm. In her heart, there was still something unfinished, which was her lifelong confidant—writing.In addition to compiling the "Comparative Notes" with rich pictures and texts, it is to rewrite the autobiographical novel.She hopes that one day after she leaves, she can leave something about her to the world.The manuscript of this book was originally scheduled to be completed in 1993, but it was delayed in order to allow "Contrast Notes" to be published first, and it became an unfinished story. It became Zhang Ailing's mysterious work. This work, which took more than 20 years to create, was not completed until her death, and the manuscript was never exposed before.Only a few people, including my friend Song Qi and the president of Taiwan Crown Culture Group, Ping Xintao, have read the manuscript.Eileen Chang asked for it to be destroyed in her will, but it was finally published by Taiwan Crown Press on February 26, 2009, 14 years after her death. Eileen Chang once said: "This is a passionate story. I want to express the endless twists and turns of love, and there is still something left after it is completely disillusioned." It's just that she didn't finish the story enthusiastically after all.What we see now, we don't know which draft it is.But tens of thousands of loyal readers of Zhang Ailing can find many true stories about her in this book, as well as those shadows that existed but can no longer be touched. In 1994, Zhang Ailing's "Comparison Notes" won the "Special Achievement Award of the Literary Award" from Taiwan's "China Times".For this reason, she took a photo, which is also the last image she left to the world.We can see that Eileen Chang was very pale at that time, she was very thin, and her eyes were still bright.On the roll of newspaper she held in her hand, "Chairman Kim Il-sung passed away suddenly yesterday" was printed in large bold characters.It's shocking to watch, is she sending us a message of death? Later, Zhang Ailing decided to put this photo on the last page of the reprint of "Comparative Notes", and added a narration: writing this book, I have been studying in the old photo album for too long, and come out to breathe.Watching the same headlines together with everyone has the immediate feeling of "the end of the world is at this moment".Holding a newspaper looks like the photo the kidnapper sent to Rou Piao's family, proving that he was still alive that day.In fact, this is not an imitation, there are poems to prove it.The poem said: When people get old, they are mostly prisoners of time. They are locked up and grounded. Floating life and a dream, several times of joy.Zhang Ailing's unique and gorgeous life is about to end in a book of "Comparison Notes".This is a whirling world, bustling, coming and going, only to let go, to be at ease.
Don't ask me where I am anymore, we are all scattered in the end of the world in order to live freely.Life is a dream, white clouds and dogs, today you see flowers like snow, tomorrow you will be buried deeply by falling flowers.Time kills us, and one day we will all be put to death.This is not cruel, all the time is squandered by ourselves, no one can replace anyone. In her later years, what Zhang Ailing had to do was to completely abandon her belongings.But she seems to be able to leave everything behind, feelings, fame and fortune, worldly affairs, the only thing she refuses to give up is her words.Because of being disturbed by Dai Wencai last time, Zhang Ailing was like a frightened bird, and she became more vigilant to the outside world.Her current address is kept strictly secret, not even her closest aunt. The apartment Zhang Ailing lived in this time did not last long.At first, when she was crossing the street, she was knocked down by a young man from Central and South America and broke her shoulder bone.She went to see a doctor by herself, but she was fine.But before long, some South American and Asian immigrants came to the apartment where she lived.Because the quality is not high, the hygiene is very bad.Some people even raised cats and dogs, attracting insects and ants, which made Zhang Ailing unbearable, so she wrote to Lin Shitong again asking to move. Eileen Chang has always disliked animals. She thinks that animals have similarities with humans. If they have flesh and blood, they will have distracting thoughts.So she would rather raise a few pots of flowers and plants, she thinks the plants are spiritual.But since she lived in isolation, she doesn't want anything anymore, only a few items are left, which accompany her to and fro, but she doesn't have any feelings, they just need to use them. In July 1997, Lin Shitong helped Zhang Ailing find a suitable apartment.Most importantly, the house is new enough to be bug free.Zhang Ailing was frightened by the fleas. She was old and weak and could no longer bear such harassment.The landlord of Zhang Ailing's new apartment is Iranian.Lin Shitong drove to accompany Eileen Chang to sign the contract together, and this time, it was also the second time Lin Shitong met Eileen Chang in more than ten years since he knew Eileen Chang.Over the years, Zhang Ailing only kept phone calls and correspondence with him, and she didn't want to disturb anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. Lin Shitong is an old-fashioned and warm-hearted person, although he is an architect and knows nothing about words.But he has an inexplicable admiration and admiration for this stubborn old man.More than ten years ago, they did not meet each other. As long as Eileen Chang needed help, he would not hesitate.He helped Zhang Ailing find a house and reissue the lost documents. He made his address as Zhang Ailing's permanent address.He never easily revealed Zhang Ailing's situation to anyone, and promised her that everything was kept very confidential. So Eileen Chang absolutely trusted Lin Shitong.In the United States, she had no relatives. In the last ten years, Lin Shitong was her only relative and the person she had most contact with in her later years. She even liked to chat with him. Although she was determined not to communicate with others, she Also be lonely.Lin Shitong also regarded her as a lonely old man, so he did everything he could to satisfy her requests. Once, she suddenly told Lin Shitong how Sanmao committed suicide.Lin Shitong didn't answer, because he didn't know who Sanmao was at all, and he didn't know that there was another woman in this world who was similar to Zhang Ailing but completely different.And Zhang Ailing also asked casually, to her, who is alive and who is dead in this world is no longer so important. Eileen Chang's new residence is a single apartment in Westwood District.The environment here is good, but too quiet.Eileen Chang doesn't like places that are too quiet, she likes to be noisy, it makes her feel safe.Maybe this is the great hermit living in the city, the years of silence are especially long, and it makes people feel lonely.But she still stayed, perhaps because she was old and she couldn't bear much trouble anymore.Despite her frequent complaints to the landlord, everything will pass. Zhang Ailing used a pseudonym Phong for her mailbox, a Vietnamese surname.She told the landlord that it was rumored that she had made a fortune, and she was afraid that those relatives would come to her to borrow money. Phong, her grandmother's name, is so common in China that it doesn't attract attention.It can be seen that she really worked hard to avoid the world.And this mailbox is only opened once a month, and it is always full, she doesn't care about it anymore. Because she moved frequently, she lost contact with her younger brother Zhang Zijing in Shanghai.Once, Zhang Zijing saw a line in the newspaper, the late female writer Zhang Ailing... He was very sad at the time, and after several twists and turns, he finally got in touch with Zhang Ailing, and the hanging heart was finally let go.After so many years, Zhang Zijing has gotten used to her sister's indifference, but in his heart, as long as he knows that she is alive, she is still alive. Later, when she heard that her aunt was ill, Eileen Chang would not return to Shanghai.For her, Shanghai is already a city of the past, and the stories that happened are already a past life.She almost couldn't remember some things, some people, even if she remembered it by chance, she couldn't feel it anymore.It is also a kind of cultivation for a person to live his life to this extent. In 1991, Zhang Ailing's good friend Yan Ying passed away.This friend who has been with her for half a century, although they have become estranged in recent years, she has always been very important in Eileen Chang's heart.In June of the same year, Zhang Ailing's aunt Zhang Maoyuan passed away in Shanghai.The aunt is Zhang Ailing's closest relative in the world, and they have been together for so many days and nights.It's just that it was too long ago. She tried her best to remember, but she still couldn't remember it. To her, life and death are like flowers blooming and fading, which is too ordinary.She has never been afraid that she will die suddenly one day, nor does she look forward to that day, because she knows that cause and effect are already doomed.So she let herself live alone, one year counts as one year, one day counts as one day.Life is just a simple existence, leaving behind the burden of the world, it is not important. In 1992, Lin Shitong suddenly received an important letter from Zhang Ailing, which turned out to be a copy of Zhang Ailing's will.The content of the will is: 1. All personal belongings will be left to Song Qi and his wife in Hong Kong;The executor of the will is Lin Shitong. Maybe Zhang Ailing was afraid that her actions would make Lin Shitong feel awkward. She explained in the letter: When buying a form in a bookstore, she bought a will by the way, so as not to confiscate any leftover money.In fact, Zhang Ailing watched the people around her leave one by one, dissipating in the smoke and dust of time, and she knew that she was not far from that day.Although she has no intention of life or death, she still has to make proper arrangements for her afterlife. However, she didn't know that after her death, Crown Publishing House and many publishing houses in mainland China filed endless lawsuits for the copyright of Eileen Chang's works.It's just that winning or losing wins or loses to her, and it has nothing to do with it anymore.She entrusted herself to the god of death, and the living only lived for their own mission.For their involuntary competition, Eileen Chang can deeply understand, because she has also lived seriously and hard. Although Zhang Ailing's seemingly unintentional confession still surprised Lin Shitong.He said in "Fate to Know Zhang Ailing": "At first glance, I thought this person was really weird. Why did you give me a suicide note... Song Qi was mentioned in the suicide note. I didn't know him, and the letter didn't explain them. The couple's liaison office only said that if I refused to be the executor, she could ask her to hire someone else. Isn't Zhang Ailing well? My mother is much older than her, and nothing happened..." After that, Lin Shitong did not reply She, because in his opinion, this is still a very distant thing, and he even forgot about it. After writing this letter, Zhang Ailing hid herself in an unknown place in Yunshen.Even Lin Shitong and Zhang Ailing rarely contacted each other again, and he didn't know how Zhang Ailing lived in the next few years.Zhang Ailing is still the same as before. Although she is in the world of mortals, she seems to live in a deep valley.Occasionally go out for a walk, buy some daily necessities, go to the bookstore a few times, and don't like to say hello to neighbors. But Eileen Chang could not be completely calm. In her heart, there was still something unfinished, which was her lifelong confidant—writing.In addition to compiling the "Comparative Notes" with rich pictures and texts, it is to rewrite the autobiographical novel.She hopes that one day after she leaves, she can leave something about her to the world.The manuscript of this book was originally scheduled to be completed in 1993, but it was delayed in order to allow "Contrast Notes" to be published first, and it became an unfinished story. It became Zhang Ailing's mysterious work. This work, which took more than 20 years to create, was not completed until her death, and the manuscript was never exposed before.Only a few people, including my friend Song Qi and the president of Taiwan Crown Culture Group, Ping Xintao, have read the manuscript.Eileen Chang asked for it to be destroyed in her will, but it was finally published by Taiwan Crown Press on February 26, 2009, 14 years after her death. Eileen Chang once said: "This is a passionate story. I want to express the endless twists and turns of love, and there is still something left after it is completely disillusioned." It's just that she didn't finish the story enthusiastically after all.What we see now, we don't know which draft it is.But tens of thousands of loyal readers of Zhang Ailing can find many true stories about her in this book, as well as those shadows that existed but can no longer be touched. In 1994, Zhang Ailing's "Comparison Notes" won the "Special Achievement Award of the Literary Award" from Taiwan's "China Times".For this reason, she took a photo, which is also the last image she left to the world.We can see that Eileen Chang was very pale at that time, she was very thin, and her eyes were still bright.On the roll of newspaper she held in her hand, "Chairman Kim Il-sung passed away suddenly yesterday" was printed in large bold characters.It's shocking to watch, is she sending us a message of death? Later, Zhang Ailing decided to put this photo on the last page of the reprint of "Comparative Notes", and added a narration: writing this book, I have been studying in the old photo album for too long, and come out to breathe.Watching the same headlines together with everyone has the immediate feeling of "the end of the world is at this moment".Holding a newspaper looks like the photo the kidnapper sent to Rou Piao's family, proving that he was still alive that day.In fact, this is not an imitation, there are poems to prove it.The poem said: When people get old, they are mostly prisoners of time. They are locked up and grounded. Floating life and a dream, several times of joy.Zhang Ailing's unique and gorgeous life is about to end in a book of "Comparison Notes".This is a whirling world, bustling, coming and going, only to let go, to be at ease.