Chapter 21 indefinitely
When a man yearns for a woman's body, he cares about her soul and lies to himself that he is in love with her soul.Only after occupying her body can he forget her soul.Maybe this is the only way to get rid of it.
Time stands alone, it has always been like this, not looking back for anyone.I thought Zhang Ailing was as clear-headed and determined as she was in the past, but she was still hit by the sharp arrow of love and bled profusely.She fell into the dust for this man named Hu Lancheng, and bloomed in the dust again.It's a pity that this flower bloomed at the wrong time, so it is destined not to bear beautiful fruit. The life and death that once existed has become flowing water and clouds.Some roads are destined to be walked only once in the world; some people are destined to love only once in this life.Returning to Shanghai with scars all over her body, Zhang Ailing still remembered the misty rain that day, but the person who held the wind and rain had become blurred.She wrote a letter to Hu Lancheng: "When the boat was about to leave that day, you went back to the shore. I stood by the side of the boat with an umbrella in the rain, facing the surging yellow waves, and stood weeping for a long time." This woman who refused to cry in front of others, Still cry for love after all. A good day is like water, her heart is already twilight, and no more flowers can bloom.And he still rejoices with fate, walking hand in hand with other women under the moon, feeling the reality of being together, so real that he can't even say an oath.However, Hu Lancheng is a fugitive after all. His life is accompanied by beautiful women and sorrows. In April 1946, one day a soldier went to the door of Fan Xiumei's house to look around, and Hu Lancheng knew that there was no place to hide from here.I had no choice but to go to Zhuji from Wenzhou, disembark and leave that night.Back at Si's house, Hu Lancheng and Fan Xiumei could no longer be together so carelessly.Aunt Si knew about him and Fan Xiumei in her heart, but it was just tacit understanding.It happened that Fan Xiumei was pregnant, and it was impossible to give birth here, so Hu Lancheng had to ask her to go to Shanghai alone for medical treatment. Fan Xiumei arrived in Shanghai and went directly to Qingyun.After reading the note written by Hu Lancheng, Qingyun knew everything, arranged for her to stay in a hotel, and then took her to the hospital, where she needed 100 yuan for the operation.Fan Xiumei had no choice but to take out the note Hu Lancheng wrote to Zhang Ailing.Qingyun brought Fan Xiumei to Eddington's apartment, and Zhang Ailing was speechless when she saw the note.Turning around and going back to the house, he took a gold bracelet and handed it to Qingyun: "Pawn it, and perform surgery on Mr. Fan." Zhang Ailing was extremely benevolent to Hu Lancheng. During the few months she left, she sent all her manuscript fees to Hu Lancheng.Now even Fan Xiumei's surgery fee, Hu Lancheng can still open his mouth.Zhang Ailing's heart has turned to ashes, and she is accustomed to the harm she inflicted on him.She no longer has any extravagant hopes for this man.She has no way of knowing where the prodigal son of love will arrive at the next stop, and she doesn't want to know. Hu Lancheng hid upstairs in Si's house and began to write his long "Wuhan Ji".The fleeting time flies, and eight months have passed in a blink of an eye.Hu Lancheng's "Wuhan Ji" has written 500,000 words, and he knows that hiding upstairs in Si's house is not a long-term solution.I thought it was time to come to Wenzhou to check my household registration, so I decided to go to Wenzhou again.He set off from Zhuji and went to Shanghai first by road. This time, Fan Xiumei did not go with him. Eddington Apartments.Zhang Ailing looked at Hu Lancheng, who had been separated for nearly a year, as if she had been separated for a lifetime.It was night, and the two of them sat side by side under the lamp, no longer had the deep affection of the past.Looking at the hurried return under the street lamp outside the window, Zhang Ailing thought about these countless nights, she turned on the light, but he didn't return.Now that he's back, he's no longer the person she was waiting for.Hu Lancheng told Zhang Ailing all the facts about him and Fan Xiumei, and she was speechless after hearing it.Ask her if she has ever watched "Wuhan Ji", she replied flatly: "I can't watch it anymore." It's not that she is cold-hearted, but that she has turned to ashes.Hu Lancheng had a sense of urgency. He felt that he and Ai Ling were two intimate people. In such a suitable environment, they didn't have the proper emotion.However, with all his debts and betrayals, how could he ask for her mercy?Eileen Chang only wished that God would allow her to go through the sea of time, forget about love and hate, and be free from joy and fear from now on. That night, Zhang Ailing and Hu Lan slept in separate rooms.Before dawn the next day, Hu Lancheng went to the bedroom where Zhang Ailing slept, and leaned over to kiss her in front of the bed. She stretched out her arms to hug him from under the quilt, and suddenly burst into tears, and only called out "Lan Cheng!" Such a desperate cry , I am afraid that even Eileen Chang herself was shocked.Hu Lancheng said in the movie: "This is the sound of throwing the ground and making stones in life. I was shocked, but I still didn't think about anything else." Whether he didn't think about it, or he didn't dare to think about it, or he was already used to his own When the clouds are calm and the wind is light, other people's world will fall apart. Hu Lancheng has a guilty conscience. Although he has been used to being favored by women in his life, he is also afraid of losing.Neither he nor Eileen Chang knew that after this farewell, they would never see each other again in this life.This alluring love ended silently like this, the city did not fall, and everyone in the city was safe and sound.At noon, Hu Lancheng boarded a boat from the Bund to Wenzhou.He was right, the water of the Yangtze River sends boats, and always sends winners and losers, heroes and bandits. As expected of Hu Lancheng, after returning to Wenzhou, he managed to get acquainted with the first senior, Liu Jingchen, and he was safe here.This Mr. Liu also introduced Hu Lancheng to teach in Wenzhou Middle School, and he completely escaped the thunderstorm.Hu Lancheng's ambition is still sprouting, thinking that in the future he will still travel to thousands of worlds. After this catastrophe, everything in the past has been wiped out.He needed to get acquainted with new people again, so he wrote to Liang Shuming, a great Confucian of his generation, to exchange knowledge with him. During this period, he started writing "Mountains and Rivers".And this book was Zhang Ailing's inspiration for him.When he wrote many sentences, he felt like Zhang Ailing's pen.He even couldn't wait to write to Zhang Ailing to tell Zhang Ailing about the book "Mountains and Rivers", telling her that now he is out of danger in Wenzhou and has started a new life where the sun is like water and the things are moist and clean. On June 10, 1947, Hu Lancheng received a letter from Zhang Ailing.After unpacking and reading the first sentence, it immediately seemed to him that there was a loud sound in the blue sky, but he still read it calmly.Eileen Chang wrote: "I don't like you anymore. You don't like me for a long time. I made this decision after a year and a half of long-term consideration. Your difficulties. You don’t come to look for me, even if you write a letter, I won’t read it.” The Xiaoji mentioned in the letter is Xiaojie's lingo.Zhang Ailing was really merciful to Hu Lancheng, and only came to break up with him when the disaster subsided and he settled down.In the letter, Zhang Ailing also attached 300,000 yuan to Hu Lancheng.It was the script of the movie she wrote recently. The remuneration for "Unforgettable" and "Long Live My Wife" were all given to Hu Lancheng.Hu Lancheng fled in the past few years, and Zhang Ailing sent him money without interruption. This time, it was the most, and it should be the last time. After Hu Lancheng read the letter, he didn't regret it. He only felt that Zhang Ailing's decision was good.He knew that she really couldn't bear it anymore, that's why she was so relentless.After a few days, Hu Lancheng knew that he could no longer write to Zhang Ailing, so he wrote a letter to her good friend Yanying.The letter said: "Ai Ling is a beautiful woman who sits at the red light, and you are like the plum blossoms reflected on her window paper. Today, I only ask the plum blossoms to make a speech. There is an Asura in the Buddhist scriptures. It’s also so frustrating and lost…” Yanying naturally didn't reply to the letter, Zhang Ailing made up her mind and never changed it.This troubled relationship ended completely in her life.And this man named Hu Lancheng could no longer stir up a wave in her heart, never again.Since then, although she and Hu Lancheng still have a little unbroken relationship, she has completely deleted all the memories related to this man. Hu Lancheng still did not change his temperament, and lived his peaceful and comfortable life in tossing and wandering.Went to Beijing and Japan successively.A few years later, she married She Aizhen, the widow of Shanghai gangster Wu Sibao.The previous debts of unscrupulous love, just like that, have not been accounted for, and they have been written off.Zhang Ailing did the right thing in breaking up with him, such a man is really not worth the slightest effort from her. Hu Lancheng also went to the Eddington apartment to look for Zhang Ailing, but it was already empty at that time.Later, Hu Lancheng got Zhang Ailing's address in the United States, and he sent out the published "Mountains and Rivers" with a long letter and endless lingering words.However, this was his wishful thinking, Zhang Ailing didn't even feel tired of him. Afraid that he would disturb her again, Zhang Ailing sent a short note: "Lan Cheng, I have received your letter and book, thank you very much. I don't want to write a letter, please forgive me. Because I really can't find your old books for reference, So if I borrowed it from you rashly, I am really sorry if I have caused you to misunderstand. If you are not unhappy when the second volume is published, please send me a copy. I thank you in advance and will not write another letter. " All the words are here, the kindness is broken, what to say, what to do is superfluous.Come to think of it, it wasn't Zhang Ailing who withered, but their love. "Aileen is mine and not mine, it's the same, it's good to have her in this world." Hu Lancheng said.But after turning around, Zhang Ailing still lived gracefully and noblely, until her hair turned gray, not for anyone but herself. The end of the world is separated from the mountains and rivers, and the love between the sky and the sea is separated.The sound of the Tao is precious, and there will be no future.
Time stands alone, it has always been like this, not looking back for anyone.I thought Zhang Ailing was as clear-headed and determined as she was in the past, but she was still hit by the sharp arrow of love and bled profusely.She fell into the dust for this man named Hu Lancheng, and bloomed in the dust again.It's a pity that this flower bloomed at the wrong time, so it is destined not to bear beautiful fruit. The life and death that once existed has become flowing water and clouds.Some roads are destined to be walked only once in the world; some people are destined to love only once in this life.Returning to Shanghai with scars all over her body, Zhang Ailing still remembered the misty rain that day, but the person who held the wind and rain had become blurred.She wrote a letter to Hu Lancheng: "When the boat was about to leave that day, you went back to the shore. I stood by the side of the boat with an umbrella in the rain, facing the surging yellow waves, and stood weeping for a long time." This woman who refused to cry in front of others, Still cry for love after all. A good day is like water, her heart is already twilight, and no more flowers can bloom.And he still rejoices with fate, walking hand in hand with other women under the moon, feeling the reality of being together, so real that he can't even say an oath.However, Hu Lancheng is a fugitive after all. His life is accompanied by beautiful women and sorrows. In April 1946, one day a soldier went to the door of Fan Xiumei's house to look around, and Hu Lancheng knew that there was no place to hide from here.I had no choice but to go to Zhuji from Wenzhou, disembark and leave that night.Back at Si's house, Hu Lancheng and Fan Xiumei could no longer be together so carelessly.Aunt Si knew about him and Fan Xiumei in her heart, but it was just tacit understanding.It happened that Fan Xiumei was pregnant, and it was impossible to give birth here, so Hu Lancheng had to ask her to go to Shanghai alone for medical treatment. Fan Xiumei arrived in Shanghai and went directly to Qingyun.After reading the note written by Hu Lancheng, Qingyun knew everything, arranged for her to stay in a hotel, and then took her to the hospital, where she needed 100 yuan for the operation.Fan Xiumei had no choice but to take out the note Hu Lancheng wrote to Zhang Ailing.Qingyun brought Fan Xiumei to Eddington's apartment, and Zhang Ailing was speechless when she saw the note.Turning around and going back to the house, he took a gold bracelet and handed it to Qingyun: "Pawn it, and perform surgery on Mr. Fan." Zhang Ailing was extremely benevolent to Hu Lancheng. During the few months she left, she sent all her manuscript fees to Hu Lancheng.Now even Fan Xiumei's surgery fee, Hu Lancheng can still open his mouth.Zhang Ailing's heart has turned to ashes, and she is accustomed to the harm she inflicted on him.She no longer has any extravagant hopes for this man.She has no way of knowing where the prodigal son of love will arrive at the next stop, and she doesn't want to know. Hu Lancheng hid upstairs in Si's house and began to write his long "Wuhan Ji".The fleeting time flies, and eight months have passed in a blink of an eye.Hu Lancheng's "Wuhan Ji" has written 500,000 words, and he knows that hiding upstairs in Si's house is not a long-term solution.I thought it was time to come to Wenzhou to check my household registration, so I decided to go to Wenzhou again.He set off from Zhuji and went to Shanghai first by road. This time, Fan Xiumei did not go with him. Eddington Apartments.Zhang Ailing looked at Hu Lancheng, who had been separated for nearly a year, as if she had been separated for a lifetime.It was night, and the two of them sat side by side under the lamp, no longer had the deep affection of the past.Looking at the hurried return under the street lamp outside the window, Zhang Ailing thought about these countless nights, she turned on the light, but he didn't return.Now that he's back, he's no longer the person she was waiting for.Hu Lancheng told Zhang Ailing all the facts about him and Fan Xiumei, and she was speechless after hearing it.Ask her if she has ever watched "Wuhan Ji", she replied flatly: "I can't watch it anymore." It's not that she is cold-hearted, but that she has turned to ashes.Hu Lancheng had a sense of urgency. He felt that he and Ai Ling were two intimate people. In such a suitable environment, they didn't have the proper emotion.However, with all his debts and betrayals, how could he ask for her mercy?Eileen Chang only wished that God would allow her to go through the sea of time, forget about love and hate, and be free from joy and fear from now on. That night, Zhang Ailing and Hu Lan slept in separate rooms.Before dawn the next day, Hu Lancheng went to the bedroom where Zhang Ailing slept, and leaned over to kiss her in front of the bed. She stretched out her arms to hug him from under the quilt, and suddenly burst into tears, and only called out "Lan Cheng!" Such a desperate cry , I am afraid that even Eileen Chang herself was shocked.Hu Lancheng said in the movie: "This is the sound of throwing the ground and making stones in life. I was shocked, but I still didn't think about anything else." Whether he didn't think about it, or he didn't dare to think about it, or he was already used to his own When the clouds are calm and the wind is light, other people's world will fall apart. Hu Lancheng has a guilty conscience. Although he has been used to being favored by women in his life, he is also afraid of losing.Neither he nor Eileen Chang knew that after this farewell, they would never see each other again in this life.This alluring love ended silently like this, the city did not fall, and everyone in the city was safe and sound.At noon, Hu Lancheng boarded a boat from the Bund to Wenzhou.He was right, the water of the Yangtze River sends boats, and always sends winners and losers, heroes and bandits. As expected of Hu Lancheng, after returning to Wenzhou, he managed to get acquainted with the first senior, Liu Jingchen, and he was safe here.This Mr. Liu also introduced Hu Lancheng to teach in Wenzhou Middle School, and he completely escaped the thunderstorm.Hu Lancheng's ambition is still sprouting, thinking that in the future he will still travel to thousands of worlds. After this catastrophe, everything in the past has been wiped out.He needed to get acquainted with new people again, so he wrote to Liang Shuming, a great Confucian of his generation, to exchange knowledge with him. During this period, he started writing "Mountains and Rivers".And this book was Zhang Ailing's inspiration for him.When he wrote many sentences, he felt like Zhang Ailing's pen.He even couldn't wait to write to Zhang Ailing to tell Zhang Ailing about the book "Mountains and Rivers", telling her that now he is out of danger in Wenzhou and has started a new life where the sun is like water and the things are moist and clean. On June 10, 1947, Hu Lancheng received a letter from Zhang Ailing.After unpacking and reading the first sentence, it immediately seemed to him that there was a loud sound in the blue sky, but he still read it calmly.Eileen Chang wrote: "I don't like you anymore. You don't like me for a long time. I made this decision after a year and a half of long-term consideration. Your difficulties. You don’t come to look for me, even if you write a letter, I won’t read it.” The Xiaoji mentioned in the letter is Xiaojie's lingo.Zhang Ailing was really merciful to Hu Lancheng, and only came to break up with him when the disaster subsided and he settled down.In the letter, Zhang Ailing also attached 300,000 yuan to Hu Lancheng.It was the script of the movie she wrote recently. The remuneration for "Unforgettable" and "Long Live My Wife" were all given to Hu Lancheng.Hu Lancheng fled in the past few years, and Zhang Ailing sent him money without interruption. This time, it was the most, and it should be the last time. After Hu Lancheng read the letter, he didn't regret it. He only felt that Zhang Ailing's decision was good.He knew that she really couldn't bear it anymore, that's why she was so relentless.After a few days, Hu Lancheng knew that he could no longer write to Zhang Ailing, so he wrote a letter to her good friend Yanying.The letter said: "Ai Ling is a beautiful woman who sits at the red light, and you are like the plum blossoms reflected on her window paper. Today, I only ask the plum blossoms to make a speech. There is an Asura in the Buddhist scriptures. It’s also so frustrating and lost…” Yanying naturally didn't reply to the letter, Zhang Ailing made up her mind and never changed it.This troubled relationship ended completely in her life.And this man named Hu Lancheng could no longer stir up a wave in her heart, never again.Since then, although she and Hu Lancheng still have a little unbroken relationship, she has completely deleted all the memories related to this man. Hu Lancheng still did not change his temperament, and lived his peaceful and comfortable life in tossing and wandering.Went to Beijing and Japan successively.A few years later, she married She Aizhen, the widow of Shanghai gangster Wu Sibao.The previous debts of unscrupulous love, just like that, have not been accounted for, and they have been written off.Zhang Ailing did the right thing in breaking up with him, such a man is really not worth the slightest effort from her. Hu Lancheng also went to the Eddington apartment to look for Zhang Ailing, but it was already empty at that time.Later, Hu Lancheng got Zhang Ailing's address in the United States, and he sent out the published "Mountains and Rivers" with a long letter and endless lingering words.However, this was his wishful thinking, Zhang Ailing didn't even feel tired of him. Afraid that he would disturb her again, Zhang Ailing sent a short note: "Lan Cheng, I have received your letter and book, thank you very much. I don't want to write a letter, please forgive me. Because I really can't find your old books for reference, So if I borrowed it from you rashly, I am really sorry if I have caused you to misunderstand. If you are not unhappy when the second volume is published, please send me a copy. I thank you in advance and will not write another letter. " All the words are here, the kindness is broken, what to say, what to do is superfluous.Come to think of it, it wasn't Zhang Ailing who withered, but their love. "Aileen is mine and not mine, it's the same, it's good to have her in this world." Hu Lancheng said.But after turning around, Zhang Ailing still lived gracefully and noblely, until her hair turned gray, not for anyone but herself. The end of the world is separated from the mountains and rivers, and the love between the sky and the sea is separated.The sound of the Tao is precious, and there will be no future.