Chapter 20 wilt alone
I died inch by inch, and this lovely world died inch by inch.Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone.
In early autumn, the sky is like water, and the reeds are green.Those days of fishing flute and singing in the moonlight are long gone.Life is like a dream, and people's hearts are no longer the same.When the boat sails the Yangtze River, you can see the flying clouds passing by, and the gulls bursting out.For thousands of years, with the ups and downs of wind and clouds, how many histories have sunk to the bottom of the river and disappeared without a trace. Hu Lancheng, who was on the run, didn't seem to regret it. He said: "I was just a defeat. There are successes and failures between heaven and earth. The water of the Yangtze River sends boats, and always sends winners and losers. The winner's cheers are like flowing water." Yangyang, and the humility of the loser also makes the world quiet.” Such a person who is conceited and has lost his conscience does not know how to return when he is lost, but feels that running for his life at the end of the world has become a glorious thing.Originally, he took a wrong path just for his official career, but now, he turned the fake into the real. After all, he was embarrassed and hid in Tibet under the cover of the Japanese.People in the Japanese army persuaded him to flee to Japan, and Hu Lancheng decided to hide among the people.He knew very well that, given the current situation, even if he went to Japan, he would not be able to do it once and for all.It's better to find a rural Taoyuan, hide under anonymity for a while, and wait for the wind to pass before making another plan.This man seems to be able to remain calm at any time, even if the world is full of smoke and clouds, he is at peace day and night. During this period, he quietly wrote a letter to Zhang Ailing, informing him of his whereabouts and reporting his safety.Zhang Ailing was well aware of his precarious situation, and was overjoyed and relieved after seeing the letter.In September, Hu Lancheng arrived in Nanjing.In a few days, he took the train from Nanjing to Shanghai again, which also gave him a chance to say goodbye to Zhang Ailing.Hu Lancheng knew in his heart that when the storm came, he needed a woman like Zhang Ailing to be by his side.Zhang Ailing has aristocratic background and insight into the world, she is a woman with aura.So she didn't need to give him any actual support, after seeing it, she felt an indescribable peace of mind. Hu Lancheng mentioned going to Japan at the residence of Eddington Apartment.After hearing this, Zhang Ailing only talked about a past event of her great-grandfather Li Hongzhang.Li Hongzhang once signed the "Treaty of Shimonoseki" with Japan on behalf of the Qing court. He was deeply ashamed of this and vowed to "never return to Japan for life".Later, he went to Russia to sign the Sino-Russian treaty, and he wanted to change ships in Japan. The Japanese side had already prepared a residence on the shore, but he refused to go ashore.This matter seems to have nothing to do with Hu Lancheng, but Hu Lancheng knew Zhang Ailing's intentions, and actually advised him not to push himself into a deeper desperate situation.After hearing this, Hu Lancheng just remained silent. That night, Zhang Ailing couldn't sleep.The kindness left here in the past floated before my eyes one by one.The two people who used to be so in love now feel so far away and strange.The victory of the Anti-Japanese War was originally a joy for Eileen Chang, which is a conscience that a Chinese should have.But looking at the man in front of her, she couldn't laugh no matter what, she didn't think she was qualified to laugh.Their inextricable relationship was destined for her to bear the honor and disgrace for him.Her life was not innocent because of this man.But she didn't regret it, it was just his misfortune, which was really chilling. The next day, Hu Lancheng decided to take refuge in Zhejiang first, accompanied by her niece Qingyun's husband, Shen Fenglin.Only ten days after Hu Lancheng left Shanghai, the "National Government" in Chongqing announced and implemented the "Regulations on Disposal of Traitors".On the list of traitors released by the authorities, Hu Lancheng was on the list. On the way to escape, Hu Lancheng was as frightened when he saw his list.Afterwards, he moved to Hangzhou, Shaoxing, and then to Zhuji, where he lived in Si Songde's house.This Si Songde was the same year as Hu Lancheng. When he was studying in middle school, he was two classes higher than Hu Lancheng. He entered Guanghua University to study Chinese.Later, he accidentally got sick and died.Eighteen years ago, Hu Lancheng lived in Si's house for a while, so Si Songde's mother, Aunt Si, treated him like a nephew.There is also a concubine in the Si family, Fan Xiumei, and Hu Lancheng is two years old. She once had a daughter with the master of the Si family.Hu Lancheng called her Mr. Fan. However, it was this Mr. Fan who made Hu Lancheng, who was fleeing and lonely, moved his heart of love again.He wrote in it: "I seldom talk to her, but she also noticed that I was in the guest room, and the hospitality was not perfect. Sometimes I saw her come back from the stove, in the room next to the stove. In the sitting room, move a small bamboo chair and sit for a while, wearing coarse cloth shorts and trousers, so calm, it is actually a kind of romantic. I don’t think about it, but I clearly feel that there is her.” His romantic affairs, It really dazzled the spectators. In this way, he hid in Zhuji for several months. Finally, due to the strict investigation of traitors in Zhejiang, Hu Lancheng decided to go to Jinhua for temporary refuge.It was Mr. Fan who accompanied him on the road this time.But when he arrived in Jinhua, he almost ran into the hands of the Kuomintang agents "Blue Shirts".Later, at Fan Xiumei's suggestion, the two hurriedly fled to the former residence of Fan's family in Wenzhou. On the way to escape, Hu Lancheng saw that Xishan and the passers-by had no doubts about them, and the panic in his heart suddenly eased. Facing the long sunny weather, he and Fan Xiumei couldn't help admiring the early winter scenery in the south of the Yangtze River.With the sun and the wind and shadows, and the sound of the stream, Hu Lancheng began to tell the woman in front of him about his long love history again. "Every time the two of them got out of the car and walked for a certain distance, I would tell Mr. Fan one by one about the things about me when I was young, about when I grew up and walked around, and about Yufeng Ailing and Xiao Zhou, and my life experience also Just like the vastness of the world in front of you, the long pavilions and short pavilions are endless." Send the man to Yili Pavilion, where he talks about his affair.When Fan Xiumei gave her away, it became a promise of her body. "We arrived in Lishui on December 8th, and we became a good couple. This is because I am grateful, and a man and a woman are grateful. In the end, there is only a physical promise." Such high-sounding words, his betrayal became gratitude.There is such a man in the world who has no regrets about betraying his country, and feels that it is only right for him to disappoint countless beauties.When he and Fan Xiumei were laughing, he forgot Zhang Ailing who Xu Guoshan wanted to live with fellow practitioners, and Zhou Xunde who had sworn each other. But in Zhong, he gave such a ridiculous answer to his marriage with Fan Xiumei. "In the midst of danger and crisis, I married Xiumei. It's not that I didn't mean to use people. If I want to use people, it shows that I am dishonest. But every time I use people, I will make the fake come true, and I will return half of the love. Loyalty and wit are one. , If it is said that this is my impurity, it is difficult for me to argue." When he came to Wenzhou, Hu Lancheng changed his name to Zhang Jiayi.At the beginning Zhang Ailing said: "At that time you changed your name, you could be called Zhang Qian, or Zhang Zhao, and I will lead you to recruit you in the end of the world." Now Hu Languo has changed his name, but he is not called Zhang Qian, nor It's called Zhang Zhao.But Eileen Chang kept her promise and traveled all the way to Wenzhou, just to see this lucky man.Her sudden arrival caught Hu Lancheng by surprise.Hu Lancheng said that he and Zhang Ailing were always like heaven and earth, but now he doesn't want Ailing to see him in a miserable state in the countryside.When they met, instead of being pleasantly surprised, he became angry: "What are you doing here? Go back soon!" "I came from Lishui, Zhuji. On the way, I thought you passed by this place. I could see Wenzhou City on the boat. I thought you were there. This Wenzhou city is like a pearl shining." This is what Eileen Chang said , the situation is so true, it is heartbreaking.And Hu Lancheng has received all the favors from the pink lady, so it's fine if he doesn't repay the favor, but he hurts him heartlessly several times. Zhang Ailing lived in a hotel next to the park, and Hu Lancheng went to accompany her during the day, but was afraid of the police checking at night.Zhang Ailing still didn't know about Hu Lancheng and Fan Xiumei at this time, and they stayed in the hotel room with Hu Lancheng. Although they felt unfamiliar, they were still warm. "Sometimes the two of them lie on the bed side by side and talk, and they look at each other with their faces close together. Her eyes are full of smiles, and her face is like a big peony flower in full bloom. She doesn't hold back at all. Whenever I'm with her Together, the days always feel long." Hu Lancheng didn't know that with Zhang Ailing's delicate and sensitive mind, she would not fail to notice the different relationship between him and Fan Xiumei.That day, when the three were together, Zhang Ailing praised Fan Xiumei for her beauty and wanted to paint for her.Hu Lan was on the side, saw her outline her face, draw eyebrows, eyes and nose, and was about to draw the corners of her mouth, when Zhang Ailing suddenly stopped drawing.After Fan Xiumei left, Hu Lancheng asked again and again, and Zhang Ailing said sadly: "I was drawing and drawing, but I felt that her eyebrows and eyes, her mouth, were more and more like you, and I was startled and uncomfortable for a while, so I didn't draw again." If you can’t go on, you just ask me why I don’t go on painting!” Looking at the heartless man in front of her, Zhang Ailing felt it was a pity.He has been suppressing his emotions, and has been using silence to endure his betrayal.This time, Zhang Ailing also asked Hu Lan to explain clearly.In the winding alley, Zhang Ailing asked Hu Lancheng to make a choice between Xiao Zhou and her.Hu Lancheng only said: "I treat you like heaven and earth, there is no comparison. If you choose, not only will you be wronged, but also Xiao Zhou..." Zhang Ailing understood that this man was destined not to be able to give her an answer.She made the first and only time to ask: "When you married me, the wedding post said that this world is safe, and you won't give me peace?" Hu Lancheng only said that the world is desolate, and tomorrow's events are unpredictable. make no excuses. There was no longer any reason to stay. The next day, Zhang Ailing packed her simple bags and her heart full of holes and left Wenzhou.In February, when the spring was cold and misty and rainy, Hu Lancheng sent her to the ferry, and they didn't even dare to feel sad.Zhang Ailing left a sentence when she left: "Are you unwilling? I thought that if I had to leave you, I would not commit suicide, nor would I be able to love others anymore. I would just wither away." The alluring love yesterday was buried in the surging river waves, together with her deep affection and her innocence.Just such a man, is it worth Zhang Ailing's withering?The world is lonely, Gudu is sad, and someone in the distance is wailing: "The gentlemen of the past listen to me, listen to me..." At the end of the song, the world is naturally peaceful.
In early autumn, the sky is like water, and the reeds are green.Those days of fishing flute and singing in the moonlight are long gone.Life is like a dream, and people's hearts are no longer the same.When the boat sails the Yangtze River, you can see the flying clouds passing by, and the gulls bursting out.For thousands of years, with the ups and downs of wind and clouds, how many histories have sunk to the bottom of the river and disappeared without a trace. Hu Lancheng, who was on the run, didn't seem to regret it. He said: "I was just a defeat. There are successes and failures between heaven and earth. The water of the Yangtze River sends boats, and always sends winners and losers. The winner's cheers are like flowing water." Yangyang, and the humility of the loser also makes the world quiet.” Such a person who is conceited and has lost his conscience does not know how to return when he is lost, but feels that running for his life at the end of the world has become a glorious thing.Originally, he took a wrong path just for his official career, but now, he turned the fake into the real. After all, he was embarrassed and hid in Tibet under the cover of the Japanese.People in the Japanese army persuaded him to flee to Japan, and Hu Lancheng decided to hide among the people.He knew very well that, given the current situation, even if he went to Japan, he would not be able to do it once and for all.It's better to find a rural Taoyuan, hide under anonymity for a while, and wait for the wind to pass before making another plan.This man seems to be able to remain calm at any time, even if the world is full of smoke and clouds, he is at peace day and night. During this period, he quietly wrote a letter to Zhang Ailing, informing him of his whereabouts and reporting his safety.Zhang Ailing was well aware of his precarious situation, and was overjoyed and relieved after seeing the letter.In September, Hu Lancheng arrived in Nanjing.In a few days, he took the train from Nanjing to Shanghai again, which also gave him a chance to say goodbye to Zhang Ailing.Hu Lancheng knew in his heart that when the storm came, he needed a woman like Zhang Ailing to be by his side.Zhang Ailing has aristocratic background and insight into the world, she is a woman with aura.So she didn't need to give him any actual support, after seeing it, she felt an indescribable peace of mind. Hu Lancheng mentioned going to Japan at the residence of Eddington Apartment.After hearing this, Zhang Ailing only talked about a past event of her great-grandfather Li Hongzhang.Li Hongzhang once signed the "Treaty of Shimonoseki" with Japan on behalf of the Qing court. He was deeply ashamed of this and vowed to "never return to Japan for life".Later, he went to Russia to sign the Sino-Russian treaty, and he wanted to change ships in Japan. The Japanese side had already prepared a residence on the shore, but he refused to go ashore.This matter seems to have nothing to do with Hu Lancheng, but Hu Lancheng knew Zhang Ailing's intentions, and actually advised him not to push himself into a deeper desperate situation.After hearing this, Hu Lancheng just remained silent. That night, Zhang Ailing couldn't sleep.The kindness left here in the past floated before my eyes one by one.The two people who used to be so in love now feel so far away and strange.The victory of the Anti-Japanese War was originally a joy for Eileen Chang, which is a conscience that a Chinese should have.But looking at the man in front of her, she couldn't laugh no matter what, she didn't think she was qualified to laugh.Their inextricable relationship was destined for her to bear the honor and disgrace for him.Her life was not innocent because of this man.But she didn't regret it, it was just his misfortune, which was really chilling. The next day, Hu Lancheng decided to take refuge in Zhejiang first, accompanied by her niece Qingyun's husband, Shen Fenglin.Only ten days after Hu Lancheng left Shanghai, the "National Government" in Chongqing announced and implemented the "Regulations on Disposal of Traitors".On the list of traitors released by the authorities, Hu Lancheng was on the list. On the way to escape, Hu Lancheng was as frightened when he saw his list.Afterwards, he moved to Hangzhou, Shaoxing, and then to Zhuji, where he lived in Si Songde's house.This Si Songde was the same year as Hu Lancheng. When he was studying in middle school, he was two classes higher than Hu Lancheng. He entered Guanghua University to study Chinese.Later, he accidentally got sick and died.Eighteen years ago, Hu Lancheng lived in Si's house for a while, so Si Songde's mother, Aunt Si, treated him like a nephew.There is also a concubine in the Si family, Fan Xiumei, and Hu Lancheng is two years old. She once had a daughter with the master of the Si family.Hu Lancheng called her Mr. Fan. However, it was this Mr. Fan who made Hu Lancheng, who was fleeing and lonely, moved his heart of love again.He wrote in it: "I seldom talk to her, but she also noticed that I was in the guest room, and the hospitality was not perfect. Sometimes I saw her come back from the stove, in the room next to the stove. In the sitting room, move a small bamboo chair and sit for a while, wearing coarse cloth shorts and trousers, so calm, it is actually a kind of romantic. I don’t think about it, but I clearly feel that there is her.” His romantic affairs, It really dazzled the spectators. In this way, he hid in Zhuji for several months. Finally, due to the strict investigation of traitors in Zhejiang, Hu Lancheng decided to go to Jinhua for temporary refuge.It was Mr. Fan who accompanied him on the road this time.But when he arrived in Jinhua, he almost ran into the hands of the Kuomintang agents "Blue Shirts".Later, at Fan Xiumei's suggestion, the two hurriedly fled to the former residence of Fan's family in Wenzhou. On the way to escape, Hu Lancheng saw that Xishan and the passers-by had no doubts about them, and the panic in his heart suddenly eased. Facing the long sunny weather, he and Fan Xiumei couldn't help admiring the early winter scenery in the south of the Yangtze River.With the sun and the wind and shadows, and the sound of the stream, Hu Lancheng began to tell the woman in front of him about his long love history again. "Every time the two of them got out of the car and walked for a certain distance, I would tell Mr. Fan one by one about the things about me when I was young, about when I grew up and walked around, and about Yufeng Ailing and Xiao Zhou, and my life experience also Just like the vastness of the world in front of you, the long pavilions and short pavilions are endless." Send the man to Yili Pavilion, where he talks about his affair.When Fan Xiumei gave her away, it became a promise of her body. "We arrived in Lishui on December 8th, and we became a good couple. This is because I am grateful, and a man and a woman are grateful. In the end, there is only a physical promise." Such high-sounding words, his betrayal became gratitude.There is such a man in the world who has no regrets about betraying his country, and feels that it is only right for him to disappoint countless beauties.When he and Fan Xiumei were laughing, he forgot Zhang Ailing who Xu Guoshan wanted to live with fellow practitioners, and Zhou Xunde who had sworn each other. But in Zhong, he gave such a ridiculous answer to his marriage with Fan Xiumei. "In the midst of danger and crisis, I married Xiumei. It's not that I didn't mean to use people. If I want to use people, it shows that I am dishonest. But every time I use people, I will make the fake come true, and I will return half of the love. Loyalty and wit are one. , If it is said that this is my impurity, it is difficult for me to argue." When he came to Wenzhou, Hu Lancheng changed his name to Zhang Jiayi.At the beginning Zhang Ailing said: "At that time you changed your name, you could be called Zhang Qian, or Zhang Zhao, and I will lead you to recruit you in the end of the world." Now Hu Languo has changed his name, but he is not called Zhang Qian, nor It's called Zhang Zhao.But Eileen Chang kept her promise and traveled all the way to Wenzhou, just to see this lucky man.Her sudden arrival caught Hu Lancheng by surprise.Hu Lancheng said that he and Zhang Ailing were always like heaven and earth, but now he doesn't want Ailing to see him in a miserable state in the countryside.When they met, instead of being pleasantly surprised, he became angry: "What are you doing here? Go back soon!" "I came from Lishui, Zhuji. On the way, I thought you passed by this place. I could see Wenzhou City on the boat. I thought you were there. This Wenzhou city is like a pearl shining." This is what Eileen Chang said , the situation is so true, it is heartbreaking.And Hu Lancheng has received all the favors from the pink lady, so it's fine if he doesn't repay the favor, but he hurts him heartlessly several times. Zhang Ailing lived in a hotel next to the park, and Hu Lancheng went to accompany her during the day, but was afraid of the police checking at night.Zhang Ailing still didn't know about Hu Lancheng and Fan Xiumei at this time, and they stayed in the hotel room with Hu Lancheng. Although they felt unfamiliar, they were still warm. "Sometimes the two of them lie on the bed side by side and talk, and they look at each other with their faces close together. Her eyes are full of smiles, and her face is like a big peony flower in full bloom. She doesn't hold back at all. Whenever I'm with her Together, the days always feel long." Hu Lancheng didn't know that with Zhang Ailing's delicate and sensitive mind, she would not fail to notice the different relationship between him and Fan Xiumei.That day, when the three were together, Zhang Ailing praised Fan Xiumei for her beauty and wanted to paint for her.Hu Lan was on the side, saw her outline her face, draw eyebrows, eyes and nose, and was about to draw the corners of her mouth, when Zhang Ailing suddenly stopped drawing.After Fan Xiumei left, Hu Lancheng asked again and again, and Zhang Ailing said sadly: "I was drawing and drawing, but I felt that her eyebrows and eyes, her mouth, were more and more like you, and I was startled and uncomfortable for a while, so I didn't draw again." If you can’t go on, you just ask me why I don’t go on painting!” Looking at the heartless man in front of her, Zhang Ailing felt it was a pity.He has been suppressing his emotions, and has been using silence to endure his betrayal.This time, Zhang Ailing also asked Hu Lan to explain clearly.In the winding alley, Zhang Ailing asked Hu Lancheng to make a choice between Xiao Zhou and her.Hu Lancheng only said: "I treat you like heaven and earth, there is no comparison. If you choose, not only will you be wronged, but also Xiao Zhou..." Zhang Ailing understood that this man was destined not to be able to give her an answer.She made the first and only time to ask: "When you married me, the wedding post said that this world is safe, and you won't give me peace?" Hu Lancheng only said that the world is desolate, and tomorrow's events are unpredictable. make no excuses. There was no longer any reason to stay. The next day, Zhang Ailing packed her simple bags and her heart full of holes and left Wenzhou.In February, when the spring was cold and misty and rainy, Hu Lancheng sent her to the ferry, and they didn't even dare to feel sad.Zhang Ailing left a sentence when she left: "Are you unwilling? I thought that if I had to leave you, I would not commit suicide, nor would I be able to love others anymore. I would just wither away." The alluring love yesterday was buried in the surging river waves, together with her deep affection and her innocence.Just such a man, is it worth Zhang Ailing's withering?The world is lonely, Gudu is sad, and someone in the distance is wailing: "The gentlemen of the past listen to me, listen to me..." At the end of the song, the world is naturally peaceful.