Chapter 12 Troubled Times
The whole world is like a decayed tooth, numb, and I don't feel anything, but when the wind blows, there is some faint pain.
People in troubled times really can't help themselves.It seems that all the gunpowder smoke must be exhausted in exchange for a moment of peace.In fact, the destruction of human beings is far less than the sharpness of nature.In troubled times, there are claws all over the clean snow.In the peaceful and prosperous age, even the night is mysterious and passionate. In 1941, the Pacific War broke out.The following year, Hong Kong fell.The city in the flames of war is so chaotic that even the pain is forgotten.How many people have no eaves to cover their bodies, can't live in peace, and can't die in peace.After the wind and frost, it was as desolate as the rain hitting the residual lotus, and all the splendor was gone.But time will heal all the scars, this city will be more youthful one day. Eileen Chang seems to have always known that no one can follow the trajectory of her predetermined life.So when the storm of fate strikes again, although she has a heart of complaints, she also has a kind of calmness that is commonplace.In the third year of her career at HKU, a war shattered her genius dream campus and the road to Oxford University. In fact, the so-called "Hong Kong War" lasted only 18 days.But these eighteen days made Zhang Ailing see the magnificent desolation in the troubled times.When war comes, it may feel like a disaster.But when I left, I felt it was just an accident.Ordinary people can't do anything about this sudden ordeal.In particular, the girls of the University of Hong Kong seemed to have forgotten to panic in the face of the bombardment. Zhang Ailing wrote in "Ambers of Ashes": "Our attitude towards war can be used as a metaphor. It is like a person sitting on a hard bench and dozing off. Although it is uncomfortable and complains endlessly, in the end it is still Falling asleep." Everyone lived in seclusion, hiding themselves in places they thought were safe, and refused to show their faces.During the bombing, Yan Ying acted fearlessly, she risked her life to go to the city to watch a movie, and went back to the dormitory upstairs to take a shower alone.Zhang Ailing said: "Her indifference seems to be a mockery of the horror of everyone." Because of the war, the University of Hong Kong stopped working, local students returned home, and students from foreign lands had to participate in the work of defending the city in order to solve food and housing.Zhang Ailing had no choice but to sign up and became a temporary member of the air defense regiment.Amid the sound of gunfire, Zhang Ailing worried that she would die among those strangers.Under the flames of war, I just feel that life is really nothingness, and personal life and death honors and disgraces are so insignificant. The 18-day siege adventure finally survived like that, as long as a century.Eileen Chang recorded in "Amber Records": "During the 18 days of the siege, everyone felt that unbearable feeling at four o'clock in the morning-the shivering dawn, everything is fuzzy, shrinking, and unreliable. I can't go home, and when I go back, maybe the home doesn't exist anymore. The house can be destroyed, the money can be turned into waste paper in a blink of an eye, people can die, and I am even more precarious. Like the Tang poem "Desolately go to my dear, pan into the smoke" , but it’s not like the carefree emptiness and despair here.” But when it really passed, it made people feel very uncomfortable, as if a hanging heart could never find a solid foothold.Zhang Ailing once said: "After all, the war is over. It is a little uncomfortable to stop at first, but peace makes people feel disturbed, like drunk. Seeing the plane in the blue sky, we know that we just look up and admire it. It's cute for that alone without a bomb falling on it..." As soon as the disaster was over, everyone was instantly relieved, and there was a scene of carnival.It seems that if you don't enjoy yourself in time, there will be no chance.Zhang Ailing also participated, but she clearly understood in her heart that this was depravity.But after the chaos of the war, if we were able to get by, who would care about that much.Zhang Ailing looked at those life and death, and felt conflicted and indifferent in her heart.It's not because she is selfish, but because she knows that life and death are ordinary, and no one can reverse them.Sitting in the car of the times, everyone is alone. A war ended the lives of many people, and made many people feel like they were born again.The so-called "one general succeeds, ten thousand bones die", when the rivers and mountains were recovered, it did not step on the bones of thousands of people. From ancient times to the present, this has not changed.This year, female writer Xiao Hong died of illness in a Hong Kong hospital at the age of 31, but people have never forgotten her.When she was dying, she had a last word: "I've been treated with cold eyes for half my life... die first, unwilling, unwilling." Whether you are a famous general or a bone of bones, one day you will be drowned by the smoke and dust of history. The years of the University of Hong Kong ended like this, somewhat hastily, and somewhat unexpectedly.Three years passed like a white horse, and that lonely girl seemed to have been changed by history to be even more indifferent.Perhaps, it is not only her who has changed, but also those who have also been baptized by the flames of war.Whether it is famous or unknown, noble or humble, it has all become the past. Haste, farewell.Not as romantic and pure as when she graduated from Santa Maria Girls' School.This summer, Zhang Ailing and Yan Ying left Hong Kong together and came to Shanghai, even more precarious.It's like the poem in the Tang Dynasty, "Desolately go to love, flood into the smoke", but it's not like the emptiness and despair here without care. But when it really passed, it made people feel very uncomfortable, as if a hanging heart could never find a solid foothold.Zhang Ailing once said: "After all, the war is over. It is a little uncomfortable to stop at first, but peace makes people feel disturbed, like drunk. Seeing the plane in the blue sky, we know that we just look up and admire it. It's cute for that alone without a bomb falling on it..." As soon as the disaster was over, everyone was instantly relieved, and there was a scene of carnival.It seems that if you don't enjoy yourself in time, there will be no chance.Zhang Ailing also participated, but she clearly understood in her heart that this was depravity.But after the chaos of the war, if we were able to get by, who would care about that much.Zhang Ailing looked at those life and death, and felt conflicted and indifferent in her heart.It's not because she is selfish, but because she knows that life and death are ordinary, and no one can reverse them.Sitting in the car of the times, everyone is alone. A war ended the lives of many people, and made many people feel like they were born again.The so-called "one general succeeds, ten thousand bones die", when the rivers and mountains were recovered, it did not step on the bones of thousands of people. From ancient times to the present, this has not changed.This year, female writer Xiao Hong died of illness in a Hong Kong hospital at the age of 31, but people have never forgotten her.When she was dying, she had a last word: "I've been treated with cold eyes for half my life... die first, unwilling, unwilling." Whether you are a famous general or a bone of bones, one day you will be drowned by the smoke and dust of history. The years of the University of Hong Kong ended like this, somewhat hastily, and somewhat unexpectedly.Three years passed like a white horse, and that lonely girl seemed to have been changed by history to be even more indifferent.Perhaps, it is not only her who has changed, but also those who have also been baptized by the flames of war.Whether it is famous or unknown, noble or humble, it has all become the past. Haste, farewell.Not as romantic and pure as when she graduated from Santa Maria Girls' School.In the summer of this year, Zhang Ailing and Yan Ying left Hong Kong together and came to Shanghai.Shanghai, as always, has not let the city age a little vicissitudes.Three years will not change a girl's appearance.But in the eyes of aunt Zhang Maoyuan and younger brother Zhang Zijing, Zhang Ailing has indeed changed a lot.She has long hair and shawls, making her look taller and thinner. Her clothes are fashionable, elegant and elegant. But when we had no time to think about it, and we hadn't figured it out, the personnel and affairs changed quietly, and everything seemed so reasonable.Zhang Ailing didn't know what the city of Shanghai would mean to her, and what was waiting for her.My mother went to Singapore, and Eileen Chang’s residence in Shanghai was the Eddington apartment on Hart Road, which was rented by her aunt.Eileen Chang actually likes living in an apartment. She said: "The apartment is the most ideal place to escape from the world." The decoration of this room was designed by my aunt herself.The fireplace in the living room, as well as floor lamps and elegant sofas, make people feel so comfortable that they forget the time.Standing on the balcony, you can have a bird's eye view of the whole city.Not far away, there is the Paramount Ballroom. In the middle of the night, you can still vaguely hear those singers singing "Evening Fragrance" tirelessly.The nostalgic style of music is still sinking.But at that time, it was the melody of whitewashing peace. Eileen Chang seems very satisfied with everything here.In the days with my aunt, there is a kind of ease and ease.Zhang Ailing wrote in "Whispers": "Now I am living in old dreams, and dreaming new dreams in old dreams. I can see the fluffy yellow moon on the balcony. In ancient times, there were drums at night, and now there are clappers selling wontons. Come to the conclusion of countless people's dreams: 'Thor, trust, trust, trust' -- lovely and sad years!" At that time, my aunt was a little short of money, and they had a very ordinary life.Because Hong Kong University did not graduate, Zhang Ailing wanted to transfer to St. John's University when she returned to Shanghai. After finishing her studies, she got a paper diploma, which can be regarded as an explanation for this long study career.The younger brother Zhang Zijing was originally admitted to the Chinese Department of Fudan University, but because of the Pacific War, Fudan was suspended.After listening to Zhang Ailing's thoughts, he also decided to take the St. John's University. Where does the tuition fee for studying come from?The younger brother went back to his father to discuss Zhang Ailing's tuition fees. Although Zhang Tingzhong couldn't forget his daughter's betrayal, he also regretted what he did back then. Moreover, Zhang Ailing's talent really moved him.In short, Zhang Tingzhong agreed, even though he was no longer rich at that time.A few years ago, he moved out from that spacious old house and changed to a small bungalow. For tuition fees, Zhang Ailing finally bowed her head and went to her father's strange home.The stepmother knew she was coming, so she deliberately avoided it.The father and daughter talked for only a few minutes, everything was indifferent, each other looked indifferent, and there was no smile.Later, according to the younger brother Zhang Zijing: "That was the last time my sister entered the house, and it was also the last time she left. After that, she and her father never met again." It seems that they both have a clear conscience and let this family relationship die out. .With such determination, who is more ruthless than whom? Fortunately, everything will pass, and everything will become a cloud of smoke.Time is still beautiful, although we have long forgotten the starry sky.The days are spent trekking through mountains and rivers, but there will always be endless scenery for you and me to enjoy.On the campus of St. John's, Eileen Chang reunited with her friend Yan Ying, and they were admitted to this school together.That precious friendship can be continued. Some people, no need to look for, are still in the dimly lit place.Some people want to stay, but the light boat has already passed ten thousand mountains.Zhang Ailing and Yanying's relationship is still so good, just like when they were in Hong Kong University, watching movies, shopping, and buying snacks together.Sometimes we get together at my aunt's house, a few women, obsessed with dressing up. Zhang Ailing has dressed differently from others since she was in middle school.She is a casual and innovative girl who exudes a unique taste.Back from Hong Kong, Eileen Chang's style is even more unique.At that time, she became an ethereal and elusive scenery on St. John's campus.Maybe at that time, she wasn't amazing enough or bright enough, but she was enough to make people fascinated. In this vulgar world, in this turbulent Shanghai Bund, Zhang Ailing's encounters are not just these few episodes.Her true glory has not yet begun, but she has some promises, which cannot be overdrawn in advance.Then give it to time, time will tell us a lot, a lot about her.
People in troubled times really can't help themselves.It seems that all the gunpowder smoke must be exhausted in exchange for a moment of peace.In fact, the destruction of human beings is far less than the sharpness of nature.In troubled times, there are claws all over the clean snow.In the peaceful and prosperous age, even the night is mysterious and passionate. In 1941, the Pacific War broke out.The following year, Hong Kong fell.The city in the flames of war is so chaotic that even the pain is forgotten.How many people have no eaves to cover their bodies, can't live in peace, and can't die in peace.After the wind and frost, it was as desolate as the rain hitting the residual lotus, and all the splendor was gone.But time will heal all the scars, this city will be more youthful one day. Eileen Chang seems to have always known that no one can follow the trajectory of her predetermined life.So when the storm of fate strikes again, although she has a heart of complaints, she also has a kind of calmness that is commonplace.In the third year of her career at HKU, a war shattered her genius dream campus and the road to Oxford University. In fact, the so-called "Hong Kong War" lasted only 18 days.But these eighteen days made Zhang Ailing see the magnificent desolation in the troubled times.When war comes, it may feel like a disaster.But when I left, I felt it was just an accident.Ordinary people can't do anything about this sudden ordeal.In particular, the girls of the University of Hong Kong seemed to have forgotten to panic in the face of the bombardment. Zhang Ailing wrote in "Ambers of Ashes": "Our attitude towards war can be used as a metaphor. It is like a person sitting on a hard bench and dozing off. Although it is uncomfortable and complains endlessly, in the end it is still Falling asleep." Everyone lived in seclusion, hiding themselves in places they thought were safe, and refused to show their faces.During the bombing, Yan Ying acted fearlessly, she risked her life to go to the city to watch a movie, and went back to the dormitory upstairs to take a shower alone.Zhang Ailing said: "Her indifference seems to be a mockery of the horror of everyone." Because of the war, the University of Hong Kong stopped working, local students returned home, and students from foreign lands had to participate in the work of defending the city in order to solve food and housing.Zhang Ailing had no choice but to sign up and became a temporary member of the air defense regiment.Amid the sound of gunfire, Zhang Ailing worried that she would die among those strangers.Under the flames of war, I just feel that life is really nothingness, and personal life and death honors and disgraces are so insignificant. The 18-day siege adventure finally survived like that, as long as a century.Eileen Chang recorded in "Amber Records": "During the 18 days of the siege, everyone felt that unbearable feeling at four o'clock in the morning-the shivering dawn, everything is fuzzy, shrinking, and unreliable. I can't go home, and when I go back, maybe the home doesn't exist anymore. The house can be destroyed, the money can be turned into waste paper in a blink of an eye, people can die, and I am even more precarious. Like the Tang poem "Desolately go to my dear, pan into the smoke" , but it’s not like the carefree emptiness and despair here.” But when it really passed, it made people feel very uncomfortable, as if a hanging heart could never find a solid foothold.Zhang Ailing once said: "After all, the war is over. It is a little uncomfortable to stop at first, but peace makes people feel disturbed, like drunk. Seeing the plane in the blue sky, we know that we just look up and admire it. It's cute for that alone without a bomb falling on it..." As soon as the disaster was over, everyone was instantly relieved, and there was a scene of carnival.It seems that if you don't enjoy yourself in time, there will be no chance.Zhang Ailing also participated, but she clearly understood in her heart that this was depravity.But after the chaos of the war, if we were able to get by, who would care about that much.Zhang Ailing looked at those life and death, and felt conflicted and indifferent in her heart.It's not because she is selfish, but because she knows that life and death are ordinary, and no one can reverse them.Sitting in the car of the times, everyone is alone. A war ended the lives of many people, and made many people feel like they were born again.The so-called "one general succeeds, ten thousand bones die", when the rivers and mountains were recovered, it did not step on the bones of thousands of people. From ancient times to the present, this has not changed.This year, female writer Xiao Hong died of illness in a Hong Kong hospital at the age of 31, but people have never forgotten her.When she was dying, she had a last word: "I've been treated with cold eyes for half my life... die first, unwilling, unwilling." Whether you are a famous general or a bone of bones, one day you will be drowned by the smoke and dust of history. The years of the University of Hong Kong ended like this, somewhat hastily, and somewhat unexpectedly.Three years passed like a white horse, and that lonely girl seemed to have been changed by history to be even more indifferent.Perhaps, it is not only her who has changed, but also those who have also been baptized by the flames of war.Whether it is famous or unknown, noble or humble, it has all become the past. Haste, farewell.Not as romantic and pure as when she graduated from Santa Maria Girls' School.This summer, Zhang Ailing and Yan Ying left Hong Kong together and came to Shanghai, even more precarious.It's like the poem in the Tang Dynasty, "Desolately go to love, flood into the smoke", but it's not like the emptiness and despair here without care. But when it really passed, it made people feel very uncomfortable, as if a hanging heart could never find a solid foothold.Zhang Ailing once said: "After all, the war is over. It is a little uncomfortable to stop at first, but peace makes people feel disturbed, like drunk. Seeing the plane in the blue sky, we know that we just look up and admire it. It's cute for that alone without a bomb falling on it..." As soon as the disaster was over, everyone was instantly relieved, and there was a scene of carnival.It seems that if you don't enjoy yourself in time, there will be no chance.Zhang Ailing also participated, but she clearly understood in her heart that this was depravity.But after the chaos of the war, if we were able to get by, who would care about that much.Zhang Ailing looked at those life and death, and felt conflicted and indifferent in her heart.It's not because she is selfish, but because she knows that life and death are ordinary, and no one can reverse them.Sitting in the car of the times, everyone is alone. A war ended the lives of many people, and made many people feel like they were born again.The so-called "one general succeeds, ten thousand bones die", when the rivers and mountains were recovered, it did not step on the bones of thousands of people. From ancient times to the present, this has not changed.This year, female writer Xiao Hong died of illness in a Hong Kong hospital at the age of 31, but people have never forgotten her.When she was dying, she had a last word: "I've been treated with cold eyes for half my life... die first, unwilling, unwilling." Whether you are a famous general or a bone of bones, one day you will be drowned by the smoke and dust of history. The years of the University of Hong Kong ended like this, somewhat hastily, and somewhat unexpectedly.Three years passed like a white horse, and that lonely girl seemed to have been changed by history to be even more indifferent.Perhaps, it is not only her who has changed, but also those who have also been baptized by the flames of war.Whether it is famous or unknown, noble or humble, it has all become the past. Haste, farewell.Not as romantic and pure as when she graduated from Santa Maria Girls' School.In the summer of this year, Zhang Ailing and Yan Ying left Hong Kong together and came to Shanghai.Shanghai, as always, has not let the city age a little vicissitudes.Three years will not change a girl's appearance.But in the eyes of aunt Zhang Maoyuan and younger brother Zhang Zijing, Zhang Ailing has indeed changed a lot.She has long hair and shawls, making her look taller and thinner. Her clothes are fashionable, elegant and elegant. But when we had no time to think about it, and we hadn't figured it out, the personnel and affairs changed quietly, and everything seemed so reasonable.Zhang Ailing didn't know what the city of Shanghai would mean to her, and what was waiting for her.My mother went to Singapore, and Eileen Chang’s residence in Shanghai was the Eddington apartment on Hart Road, which was rented by her aunt.Eileen Chang actually likes living in an apartment. She said: "The apartment is the most ideal place to escape from the world." The decoration of this room was designed by my aunt herself.The fireplace in the living room, as well as floor lamps and elegant sofas, make people feel so comfortable that they forget the time.Standing on the balcony, you can have a bird's eye view of the whole city.Not far away, there is the Paramount Ballroom. In the middle of the night, you can still vaguely hear those singers singing "Evening Fragrance" tirelessly.The nostalgic style of music is still sinking.But at that time, it was the melody of whitewashing peace. Eileen Chang seems very satisfied with everything here.In the days with my aunt, there is a kind of ease and ease.Zhang Ailing wrote in "Whispers": "Now I am living in old dreams, and dreaming new dreams in old dreams. I can see the fluffy yellow moon on the balcony. In ancient times, there were drums at night, and now there are clappers selling wontons. Come to the conclusion of countless people's dreams: 'Thor, trust, trust, trust' -- lovely and sad years!" At that time, my aunt was a little short of money, and they had a very ordinary life.Because Hong Kong University did not graduate, Zhang Ailing wanted to transfer to St. John's University when she returned to Shanghai. After finishing her studies, she got a paper diploma, which can be regarded as an explanation for this long study career.The younger brother Zhang Zijing was originally admitted to the Chinese Department of Fudan University, but because of the Pacific War, Fudan was suspended.After listening to Zhang Ailing's thoughts, he also decided to take the St. John's University. Where does the tuition fee for studying come from?The younger brother went back to his father to discuss Zhang Ailing's tuition fees. Although Zhang Tingzhong couldn't forget his daughter's betrayal, he also regretted what he did back then. Moreover, Zhang Ailing's talent really moved him.In short, Zhang Tingzhong agreed, even though he was no longer rich at that time.A few years ago, he moved out from that spacious old house and changed to a small bungalow. For tuition fees, Zhang Ailing finally bowed her head and went to her father's strange home.The stepmother knew she was coming, so she deliberately avoided it.The father and daughter talked for only a few minutes, everything was indifferent, each other looked indifferent, and there was no smile.Later, according to the younger brother Zhang Zijing: "That was the last time my sister entered the house, and it was also the last time she left. After that, she and her father never met again." It seems that they both have a clear conscience and let this family relationship die out. .With such determination, who is more ruthless than whom? Fortunately, everything will pass, and everything will become a cloud of smoke.Time is still beautiful, although we have long forgotten the starry sky.The days are spent trekking through mountains and rivers, but there will always be endless scenery for you and me to enjoy.On the campus of St. John's, Eileen Chang reunited with her friend Yan Ying, and they were admitted to this school together.That precious friendship can be continued. Some people, no need to look for, are still in the dimly lit place.Some people want to stay, but the light boat has already passed ten thousand mountains.Zhang Ailing and Yanying's relationship is still so good, just like when they were in Hong Kong University, watching movies, shopping, and buying snacks together.Sometimes we get together at my aunt's house, a few women, obsessed with dressing up. Zhang Ailing has dressed differently from others since she was in middle school.She is a casual and innovative girl who exudes a unique taste.Back from Hong Kong, Eileen Chang's style is even more unique.At that time, she became an ethereal and elusive scenery on St. John's campus.Maybe at that time, she wasn't amazing enough or bright enough, but she was enough to make people fascinated. In this vulgar world, in this turbulent Shanghai Bund, Zhang Ailing's encounters are not just these few episodes.Her true glory has not yet begun, but she has some promises, which cannot be overdrawn in advance.Then give it to time, time will tell us a lot, a lot about her.