Chapter 4 late spring
A long, eternity-like childhood, lived quite happily, and I think many people feel the same way.Then the rugged growth period is also a long journey, with no end in sight, and desolation everywhere.
Spring mountains are like Daisy, and weeping willows draw bridges.The white clouds come out of Xiu, and the tired birds return to their nests.Pick a bunch of unknown wild flowers, set up a wisteria swing frame; watch a few swallows build their nests, or talk to a few ants.Such a good time seems to stay in the memory called childhood.For a long time, I will never see you again. Everyone has their own childhood.No matter luck or misfortune, there is always more joy than sorrow.Because despite the world's affairs, that childlike innocence is always as clean as a mirror, pure and beautiful.As a teenager, he began to dream of rain hitting plantains, expressing his sorrow for new words.The long growth process afterwards was like the rainy season in the south of the Yangtze River, and there were no sunny days.In the years to come, the shadow of the sun is like flying, and you will be old if you say old. Astonishingly talented Zhang Ailing, like us, had a simple and picturesque childhood.Perhaps her childhood was not as satisfactory as expected, but for a little girl, what she can remember are still those interesting things worth nostalgic for.In a person's life, the most beautiful, cleanest, and purest memories are the memories of childhood.Later, in her work "Whispers", Zhang Ailing described the days of her childhood in a more nuanced manner. When Zhang Ailing was two years old, Zhang Tingzhong moved his family from Shanghai to Tianjin because of his relationship with his second brother Zhang Zhiqian.Zhang Zhiqian is Zhang Tingzhong's half-brother (older brother died young), born to Zhang Peilun and his original wife Zhu Zhixiang, who is seventeen years older than Zhang Tingzhong.The foreign house in Tianjin was in the British Concession. The house was purchased by Zhang Peilun himself when his grandfather Zhang Peilun got married, and it was considered luxurious and spacious.But when Zhang Tingzhong came here, no one interfered, and he indulged in pleasure without fear, and was at ease. At that time, Zhang Ailing was not called Zhang Ailing, but Zhang Ying.This name is indeed a bit uncommon. As for who chose it, it is unknown. The world knows only the talented woman of the Republic of China named Zhang Ailing.Life in Tianjin is bright and quiet for Xiao Zhangying and her younger brother Zhang Zijing.She once said that her home in Tianjin has an air of late spring, which she likes.Come to think of it, she was still young at that time, and all she saw was a flashy appearance, and she still couldn't feel the shadow of decline brought by history to that family. In his later years, his younger brother Zhang Zijing had emotional memories of his life in Tianjin: "That year, my parents were twenty-six years old. They were both talented and beautiful. They had money and leisure, sons and daughters, and cars. , a driver, and several servants who cook and do odd jobs, and my sister and I also have our own nannies. What a glorious day it was!” Yes, what a sight.If you are willing to be an ordinary person, be content with the status quo, and keep a solid ancestral business, it can be considered a kind of happiness.But many people never forget the glory of their ancestors, and still have irreversible dreams of the past.Their hearts are drifting in the torrent, and they can never be calm. Of course, these heavy histories do not exist in Xiao Zhangying's childhood memory.She only remembers that there is a swing frame in the yard, and her happy times and childhood dreams are flying on the swing frame.She remembered that there were chickens in the backyard. At noon in summer, she was wearing a white-bottomed red gauze skirt and red trousers. This riddle book is immersed in a psychedelic world, hazy and interesting.Sing a few virginal and tactful songs, very happy. There is a bluestone anvil in the corner of the courtyard. There is an underling who is proficient in writing and ink and has great ambitions. He often uses a brush dipped in water to practice writing big characters on it.He was thin and handsome, so he told Xiao Zhangying.Perhaps because she was sensitive to words since she was a child, Xiao Zhangying liked him for no reason, and gave him an inexplicable name called "Maowu".And Mao's wife is called "Mao Niang" by her.Mao Niang has a red oval face and watery eyes, and she is full of stories about "Meng Lijun disguised as a man and won the champion". The maid who leads the younger brother is called "Zhang Qian", with bound feet, she is smarter and takes the lead everywhere.The one who led Xiao Zhangying was called "He Gan", because he was leading a girl, so she felt guilty and let her do everything.Because of this, Zhang Ailing thought of equality between men and women when she was young, and thought of being strong and determined, and she must surpass her younger brother Zhang Zijing in everything.Later, Zhang Zijing said in her memoirs: "She didn't need to be strong, she already surpassed me. This is not a matter of gender, but her talent is better than mine." The younger brother Zhang Zijing was weak and sick since childhood, but he was really beautiful and cute.Xiao Zhangying is very headstrong, has a strange self-esteem, and doesn't like his younger brother very much.But after all, she is an unfamiliar child, and besides her younger brother, she probably has few playmates in Tianjin.So the affection between their siblings has not been deep, but it is not alienated. Zhang Ailing also wrote in "Whispers": "I remember that every morning the maid carried me to her bed, which was a copper bed. I climbed on the checkered green brocade quilt and followed her to recite Tang poems incomprehensibly. She Waking up is always not very happy, and it took a long time to play with me before I became happy.” Here, she refers to Eileen Chang’s mother.In Zhang Ailing's memory, her mother has never seemed very important.There is no mother in the family, and I don't feel any deficiency. Zhang Ailing's "Whispers" describes many interesting things about her childhood in Tianjin.After reading it, it brought back many people's fond memories of their childhood.It has similar tastes with Lu Xun's and Lin Haiyin's, and people can't help but think of those green years when the spring water was rising and the swallows came.Childhood is locked in a drawer, those old black and white photos.The longer the time passes, the more worthy of nostalgia and aftertaste. When Xiao Zhangying was less than four years old, the family hired a private tutor for her and her younger brother. Since then, the long recitation has become another beautiful memory of her childhood.From the misty dawn to the hazy dusk.The sparse starlight outside the window hangs on the sycamore tree, shining brightly on the ground.A few tired birds returned to their nests, and the old man fishing on the river bank also came back on the mountain path.I always believe that in the depths of Zhang Ailing's young heart, there is a world that outsiders can't see.At that time, she had already realized that all things in nature have their own unusual beauty. In Xiao Zhangying's memory, there is also a desolate old man.This old man is her cousin Zhang Renjun, and sometimes the servants will take her to pay his respects.Her impression of him, as well as the scene at that time, is still vivid in her adulthood.She remembered a tall old man sitting on a rattan chair forever, and there seemed to be no other furnishings.She called out: "Second uncle." The old man asked every time: "How many words have you recognized?" Then "Recite a poem for me."And he shed tears every time he heard "The business woman doesn't know the hatred of subjugation, but she still sings flowers in the backyard across the river". The desolation without knowing why is like a painting, engraved in Eileen Chang's mind like this.At that time, she didn't understand why the old man always cried when he heard that poem.The legacy of the previous dynasty that permeated the Republic of China era left untold scars on many people's hearts.But a little girl who is in a trance to the world still can't discern the helplessness and sadness in it.Her world is like that patch of glazed moonlight, clean and pure. When Zhang Ailing was four years old, because her aunt Zhang Maoyuan was going to study abroad, her mother took this opportunity as an excuse to accompany her sister-in-law to go abroad, and changed her name to Huang Yifan, a trendy literary name.So desperate, she abandoned her husband and left for England.Since then, the mountains have been closed for thousands of miles and the sea is boundless. When we meet again, I don't know when it will be.She is a woman who dares to seek, even if the future is slim and she finds nothing, it is better than humiliating her whole life in this decayed home. It's not that she is cruel, it's that in this dilapidated home, there is really no place to stay, let alone a place to rest.Huang Yifan is a blue bird of the Republic of China, unwilling to be imprisoned in this damp and moldy old house, she longs for the rippling and prosperous sun.So she gave up her family affection and exiled herself to the end of the world to pursue her inner beauty. There is no value and no value, no right and wrong.Because the direction of life has never been standard.Find a path that suits you, and go on firmly. Whether it is a dead end or a flat road, you will have no regrets.Zhang Ailing talked about her impression of her mother in the future, saying: "I have always loved my mother with a romantic love. She is a beautiful and sensitive woman, and I rarely have the opportunity to contact her. I was four years old. She went abroad when she was young, came and left several times. In the eyes of children, she is far away and mysterious." Indeed, this trendy mother is so strong that she is even a little cold.Her life is like flowing clouds, free to come and go, with ecstasy in her elegance, and warmth hidden in her arrogance.In many banquets in Zhang Ailing's life, she was always absent, but she was everywhere. Eileen Chang has never blamed her mother. With her heart and feelings, she understands her mother's choice more deeply than anyone else.Since you don't have the strength to love strangers, then love your precious self. Because you understand, you are compassionate.
Spring mountains are like Daisy, and weeping willows draw bridges.The white clouds come out of Xiu, and the tired birds return to their nests.Pick a bunch of unknown wild flowers, set up a wisteria swing frame; watch a few swallows build their nests, or talk to a few ants.Such a good time seems to stay in the memory called childhood.For a long time, I will never see you again. Everyone has their own childhood.No matter luck or misfortune, there is always more joy than sorrow.Because despite the world's affairs, that childlike innocence is always as clean as a mirror, pure and beautiful.As a teenager, he began to dream of rain hitting plantains, expressing his sorrow for new words.The long growth process afterwards was like the rainy season in the south of the Yangtze River, and there were no sunny days.In the years to come, the shadow of the sun is like flying, and you will be old if you say old. Astonishingly talented Zhang Ailing, like us, had a simple and picturesque childhood.Perhaps her childhood was not as satisfactory as expected, but for a little girl, what she can remember are still those interesting things worth nostalgic for.In a person's life, the most beautiful, cleanest, and purest memories are the memories of childhood.Later, in her work "Whispers", Zhang Ailing described the days of her childhood in a more nuanced manner. When Zhang Ailing was two years old, Zhang Tingzhong moved his family from Shanghai to Tianjin because of his relationship with his second brother Zhang Zhiqian.Zhang Zhiqian is Zhang Tingzhong's half-brother (older brother died young), born to Zhang Peilun and his original wife Zhu Zhixiang, who is seventeen years older than Zhang Tingzhong.The foreign house in Tianjin was in the British Concession. The house was purchased by Zhang Peilun himself when his grandfather Zhang Peilun got married, and it was considered luxurious and spacious.But when Zhang Tingzhong came here, no one interfered, and he indulged in pleasure without fear, and was at ease. At that time, Zhang Ailing was not called Zhang Ailing, but Zhang Ying.This name is indeed a bit uncommon. As for who chose it, it is unknown. The world knows only the talented woman of the Republic of China named Zhang Ailing.Life in Tianjin is bright and quiet for Xiao Zhangying and her younger brother Zhang Zijing.She once said that her home in Tianjin has an air of late spring, which she likes.Come to think of it, she was still young at that time, and all she saw was a flashy appearance, and she still couldn't feel the shadow of decline brought by history to that family. In his later years, his younger brother Zhang Zijing had emotional memories of his life in Tianjin: "That year, my parents were twenty-six years old. They were both talented and beautiful. They had money and leisure, sons and daughters, and cars. , a driver, and several servants who cook and do odd jobs, and my sister and I also have our own nannies. What a glorious day it was!” Yes, what a sight.If you are willing to be an ordinary person, be content with the status quo, and keep a solid ancestral business, it can be considered a kind of happiness.But many people never forget the glory of their ancestors, and still have irreversible dreams of the past.Their hearts are drifting in the torrent, and they can never be calm. Of course, these heavy histories do not exist in Xiao Zhangying's childhood memory.She only remembers that there is a swing frame in the yard, and her happy times and childhood dreams are flying on the swing frame.She remembered that there were chickens in the backyard. At noon in summer, she was wearing a white-bottomed red gauze skirt and red trousers. This riddle book is immersed in a psychedelic world, hazy and interesting.Sing a few virginal and tactful songs, very happy. There is a bluestone anvil in the corner of the courtyard. There is an underling who is proficient in writing and ink and has great ambitions. He often uses a brush dipped in water to practice writing big characters on it.He was thin and handsome, so he told Xiao Zhangying.Perhaps because she was sensitive to words since she was a child, Xiao Zhangying liked him for no reason, and gave him an inexplicable name called "Maowu".And Mao's wife is called "Mao Niang" by her.Mao Niang has a red oval face and watery eyes, and she is full of stories about "Meng Lijun disguised as a man and won the champion". The maid who leads the younger brother is called "Zhang Qian", with bound feet, she is smarter and takes the lead everywhere.The one who led Xiao Zhangying was called "He Gan", because he was leading a girl, so she felt guilty and let her do everything.Because of this, Zhang Ailing thought of equality between men and women when she was young, and thought of being strong and determined, and she must surpass her younger brother Zhang Zijing in everything.Later, Zhang Zijing said in her memoirs: "She didn't need to be strong, she already surpassed me. This is not a matter of gender, but her talent is better than mine." The younger brother Zhang Zijing was weak and sick since childhood, but he was really beautiful and cute.Xiao Zhangying is very headstrong, has a strange self-esteem, and doesn't like his younger brother very much.But after all, she is an unfamiliar child, and besides her younger brother, she probably has few playmates in Tianjin.So the affection between their siblings has not been deep, but it is not alienated. Zhang Ailing also wrote in "Whispers": "I remember that every morning the maid carried me to her bed, which was a copper bed. I climbed on the checkered green brocade quilt and followed her to recite Tang poems incomprehensibly. She Waking up is always not very happy, and it took a long time to play with me before I became happy.” Here, she refers to Eileen Chang’s mother.In Zhang Ailing's memory, her mother has never seemed very important.There is no mother in the family, and I don't feel any deficiency. Zhang Ailing's "Whispers" describes many interesting things about her childhood in Tianjin.After reading it, it brought back many people's fond memories of their childhood.It has similar tastes with Lu Xun's and Lin Haiyin's, and people can't help but think of those green years when the spring water was rising and the swallows came.Childhood is locked in a drawer, those old black and white photos.The longer the time passes, the more worthy of nostalgia and aftertaste. When Xiao Zhangying was less than four years old, the family hired a private tutor for her and her younger brother. Since then, the long recitation has become another beautiful memory of her childhood.From the misty dawn to the hazy dusk.The sparse starlight outside the window hangs on the sycamore tree, shining brightly on the ground.A few tired birds returned to their nests, and the old man fishing on the river bank also came back on the mountain path.I always believe that in the depths of Zhang Ailing's young heart, there is a world that outsiders can't see.At that time, she had already realized that all things in nature have their own unusual beauty. In Xiao Zhangying's memory, there is also a desolate old man.This old man is her cousin Zhang Renjun, and sometimes the servants will take her to pay his respects.Her impression of him, as well as the scene at that time, is still vivid in her adulthood.She remembered a tall old man sitting on a rattan chair forever, and there seemed to be no other furnishings.She called out: "Second uncle." The old man asked every time: "How many words have you recognized?" Then "Recite a poem for me."And he shed tears every time he heard "The business woman doesn't know the hatred of subjugation, but she still sings flowers in the backyard across the river". The desolation without knowing why is like a painting, engraved in Eileen Chang's mind like this.At that time, she didn't understand why the old man always cried when he heard that poem.The legacy of the previous dynasty that permeated the Republic of China era left untold scars on many people's hearts.But a little girl who is in a trance to the world still can't discern the helplessness and sadness in it.Her world is like that patch of glazed moonlight, clean and pure. When Zhang Ailing was four years old, because her aunt Zhang Maoyuan was going to study abroad, her mother took this opportunity as an excuse to accompany her sister-in-law to go abroad, and changed her name to Huang Yifan, a trendy literary name.So desperate, she abandoned her husband and left for England.Since then, the mountains have been closed for thousands of miles and the sea is boundless. When we meet again, I don't know when it will be.She is a woman who dares to seek, even if the future is slim and she finds nothing, it is better than humiliating her whole life in this decayed home. It's not that she is cruel, it's that in this dilapidated home, there is really no place to stay, let alone a place to rest.Huang Yifan is a blue bird of the Republic of China, unwilling to be imprisoned in this damp and moldy old house, she longs for the rippling and prosperous sun.So she gave up her family affection and exiled herself to the end of the world to pursue her inner beauty. There is no value and no value, no right and wrong.Because the direction of life has never been standard.Find a path that suits you, and go on firmly. Whether it is a dead end or a flat road, you will have no regrets.Zhang Ailing talked about her impression of her mother in the future, saying: "I have always loved my mother with a romantic love. She is a beautiful and sensitive woman, and I rarely have the opportunity to contact her. I was four years old. She went abroad when she was young, came and left several times. In the eyes of children, she is far away and mysterious." Indeed, this trendy mother is so strong that she is even a little cold.Her life is like flowing clouds, free to come and go, with ecstasy in her elegance, and warmth hidden in her arrogance.In many banquets in Zhang Ailing's life, she was always absent, but she was everywhere. Eileen Chang has never blamed her mother. With her heart and feelings, she understands her mother's choice more deeply than anyone else.Since you don't have the strength to love strangers, then love your precious self. Because you understand, you are compassionate.