Chapter 25 In the time of silence, everything changes
Time flies by so fast, and looking back on time past is like a steep mountain for me to climb.The betrayal of my father by others has not stopped, and I can no longer stand idly by.In my eyes, my father has never had any selfishness other than his own motherland—the Republic of Korea. No, it should be said that his whole body and mind are occupied by the idea of "modernization of the motherland", and there is no room for other ideas. gap.
With the idea of correcting mistakes and clearing up my father's grievances, I began to sort out the relics left by my father.In order to correct the misunderstanding of my father, I started the "Parents Memorial Project", and I believe this is the right choice as a child.
In the early days of my memorial service, I desperately needed people who would help, but the reality was that most people wouldn't even meet me.At that time, his father's political achievements were completely denied, and even the people around him were reluctant to talk about him. This is a predictable result.But as the saying goes, "Where there is a will, there is a way." People who had the same ideals as me and were forcibly disbanded, overcame many difficulties and gathered together again, which helped a lot in the process of mourning.
Just like the saying "Only in the cold winter will you understand the greenness of pine trees", I think those who help us with a pure heart are the ones who really have courage and faith.Regardless of the indifference and oppression of the society at that time, they were willing to work with me, and their sincerity could not be interpreted by ordinary people.I am always grateful to those people who gave me a lot of help and care under the difficult environment and conditions at that time.
With these help, he finally started to re-evaluate his father, released the book "Guide of the Nation" and recorded the movie "Lights of the Motherland".After putting in so much effort, the media began to slowly reveal the truth of the matter, and gradually had a new evaluation of his father.
I have always cherished the sweat and tears of my father and his generation for the industrialization of this country, and I have given very high praise to those who have worked hard for the democratization of the country.In fact, in my father's time, the most urgent task was to protect the country from the threat of North Korea's invasion of the south and free the people from poverty and hunger.Therefore, from the perspective of democratization, there are indeed many shortcomings, and there are indeed victims in the process of democratization.
I always feel very sorry for those people. Their sacrifices are priceless in order to have the Republic of Korea today.I think the only way to repay those people is to carry forward the unfinished business of democratization that my father did not finish, and try to make the country a country where people live well.
In the 1980s, when the Xinxin Service Group was forcibly disbanded and unable to engage in any social activities, I temporarily served as the chairman of Lingnan University.But the school's political movement circles were so opposed to my taking on the role that I had to give it up.I never had any selfishness for that position, nor did I ever feel that it was a position that I must always hold.But it is my mission for me to continue what my parents have done with their whole lives.So I served as the chairman of the Yuying Foundation left behind by my mother, and then silently continued what she did during her lifetime.I built traditional Korean houses such as Hibiscus Garden, Mulian Pavilion, and Younghae Building in the children's hall, so that students from kindergarten to teenagers can come to this place to learn traditional Korean life etiquette. Now these places are still used by children. A good place for us to study and live.
Some people randomly speculate on the reasons for my leaving the Yuying Consortium.I don't want the children's hall built by my mother to become the source of disputes between our sisters. This kind of thing is absolutely not allowed.Occasionally, when I heard the news of problems in the consortium, although I felt sorry, I still believed that my sister would be able to hold on.
After leaving the Yuying Foundation, I finally started to have my own "life", which is the ordinary life I have always longed for, and I live quite peacefully every day.I sort out my chaotic thoughts by writing diaries and reading books. When I have free time, I also write poems to calm my heart.During that period, I found that living in the right way is a truly valuable life. What is important in life is not money, fame or power, which are just mirages that will disappear in a moment.
One day I started to learn the dantian breathing method, which is very helpful for mental health.When the mind is calm, of course the body will become healthy, and the stagnation in the chest will gradually disappear.After starting to use dantian breathing, the body's immunity has also improved.The shock of my parents' death made me very weak and I was prone to colds, but since I started breathing in the dantian, my stomach and intestines have become more comfortable. It feels like the internal organs have returned to their proper positions, and I have also cultivated courage With perseverance, I slowly regained my self-confidence.Among them, reading should also have a certain credit.
During that time, I read Buddhist scriptures such as Dhamma Sutra and Diamond Sutra, as well as the Bible.Books related to oriental philosophy and books such as "Ming Xin Bao Jian" are also placed by the bedside to read at any time.If there are words and sentences that I like in the teachings of the ancestors, I will copy them in a notebook, and I will read them whenever my thoughts are confused.
It is written in "The Treasure of the Bright Heart": "If you blame yourself with the heart of blaming others, you will be few, and if you forgive others with the heart of forgiveness, you will be fine." In addition, Osho (Rajneesh) also said: "Although Life is short, but there are stars, moon, flowers, men, women, rivers, mountains and countless joys to accompany you. But you still continue to fight and live this life foolishly? You come and go empty-handed, when you realize this When things happen, everything will naturally become clear." These two passages seem simple, but it is not easy to understand the profound truths in them and practice them.I get comfort and peace from these articles.
When you are in your thirties, the fun you can enjoy in life begins to increase one by one.When I had leisure time, I started to learn Chinese.I watch the Chinese teaching programs of EBS Education TV every day, carry the cassette with me, and practice repeatedly whenever I have time.The experience of studying hard when learning English, French, and Spanish in the past also played a great role in self-learning Chinese.Because I have already understood that when learning a language, non-stop preview and repeated practice are the kingly way. I believe that a serious attitude will definitely give me more strength.No matter what it is, the first time is more difficult, and the second or third time is easier.
Visiting cultural heritage sites is the happiest thing for me after my father passed away before returning to politics.When I was at Cheong Wa Dae in the past, my wish was to travel all over the country, so I often embarked on the long-awaited road of travel.
Once I went to Duanzong's place of exile.Although it has been tidied up now and there are many tourists, but when I think of Duanzong's state of mind at that time, my heart also feels sad.Those days spent in exile after being betrayed by everyone should be more sad than death.Whenever Duanzong missed his wife, he would climb to the Guanyin Pine and cry out his thoughts. This kind of story made me feel even more sad.
During the short time in Qinglingpu, time seemed to be reversed hundreds of years.I became Duanzong's companion, and he also became my good friend. The two sat together and chatted with each other about the truth that had been buried in my heart for a long time.When I was about to leave there, my nose felt slightly sour.There is a calm these days that I never imagined as First Lady.With comfortable shoes and simple jeans, I have traveled all over the country's famous mountains and ruins, and it feels so comfortable to walk alone on country roads.The simple smiles of the people I met on the road swept away the sullenness in my heart.In the process of visiting the country roads, I also heard a few very interesting stories.When the aunts in the village were drying chili peppers, they stopped me when they saw me passing by, and there were freshly cooked noodles next to them.
"I'm talking about you. Although I don't know where you are from, it's meal time anyway. Come and have a bowl of noodles before leaving."
"No, thanks."
I was afraid that I would disturb the happy time of the aunts, so I declined their invitation.As a result, the aunts looked disappointed.
"Is it because there are no side dishes?"
I was really hungry because I had walked a long way, and it would be embarrassing if I refused again, so I walked towards them.An aunt immediately filled a bowl full of noodles for me, and the human touch of the country made me feel quite warm.
"I said no just now, but it turned out to be delicious. You look familiar. Where have I seen you?"
While one aunt was still thinking about this question, another aunt hurriedly answered her.
"Is it the eldest daughter who grew up in Sandong? She looks very similar to the daughter of that family."
"No, after her daughter got married, she went to America with her husband to live. My memory is pretty good, but I just can't remember it. Do you know me?"
At this time, an old lady who was silent at the side suddenly shouted to the aunts: "Just let her eat the noodles and continue on the road. Why are you talking so much? There is a saying that 'the most important thing is to eat, don't bother anyone. 'Well."
Amidst the warm chatter, I finished a large bowl of noodles, and my empty stomach became satisfied and strong.
"Thank you for your hospitality, but now I don't have anything to give you as a gift in return. Next time I have the opportunity to walk this way, I will definitely bring some drinks to see you."
At this time, the aunts said in unison:
"We just added an extra pair of bowls and chopsticks. Thank you for anything."
After eating that delicious bowl of noodles, I left there happily, with the taciturn old woman following closely behind me.
"I know who you are. You look exactly like the dead Ms. Lu. She did too many good deeds during her lifetime. Even if other people forget her completely, I, an old man, will never forget her. Pull the wire The person who came to this small village is your father, right?"
After talking, grandma took out a few crumpled banknotes from her pocket and asked me to use them as pocket money.I kept declining, but the grandma still stuffed a few thousand yuan bills into my hand, then turned her head and left.
"Cheer up, the days to come are still long."
I don't know how touched that sentence was, and tears burst out of my eyes uncontrollably.
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