Chapter 3 seek

When I was a teenager, I was in the dark period before the dawn of the land of China.I am struggling to pursue, explore the truth, and seek light in the dark, just as Qu Yuan wrote in "Li Sao": "The road is long and long, and I will search up and down." Fortunately, under the guidance and leadership of the Communist Party of China, Finally changed from a democrat to a communist.However, it is a difficult and winding road. In the spring of 1920, when I was fourteen, I graduated from elementary school and was admitted to the public Dianxi Higher Primary School in Gaoping District.Gaoping District is more than ten miles away from my home, and I have to live on campus to study.The tuition fees at that time were very expensive. The tuition and board fees for the first year of enrollment cost ten yuan, twelve yuan for the second year, and fourteen yuan for the third and fourth years. How could our poor family afford it!My father was not going to let me go on to higher education, and I was facing the threat of dropping out of school. The teachers and classmates felt sorry for me.At this time, Li Shilin, the academic affairs committee member of Gaoping District, came to our school. Hearing the news from the teacher that I was going to drop out of school, he remembered the incident of the composition test a year ago.

Li Shilin said to my father: "Your son is very smart and hardworking in his studies. In the first few years of primary school, he took the first place in the exam every year. He has a bright future in training. He should continue to study." My father explained: "It's not that I don't let the boy go to school, it's because the family is poor and can't afford the money to send him to school." Li Shilin asked again: "Doesn't your 'Sacrifice Association' provide scholarships to help the children of our clan to go to school? Why don't you apply for it?" My father sighed and said, "There are so many children of this clan, and I am participating in the 'Sacrifice' again." How can a person who discusses matters speak up for his own child?"

Li Shilin volunteered to introduce my academic situation to the "Sacrifice", and suggested to the "Sacrifice" that in the future, all the children of the family who have good academic performance and can be admitted to high school will pay two oceans a year, and the rest will be paid by the "Sacrifice". will" subsidize, as a bursary. Sure enough, after the discussion of the "Sacrifice Council", Li Shilin's suggestion was agreed, and new rules for scholarships were established, changing the old rules of applying for one by one and negotiating the amount of the subsidy one by one.Li Shilin helped me solve the bursary, and the biggest problem of entering a higher school was solved, but there are still many difficulties.

First of all, the family has to spend two oceans every year, and the whole family needs to save money in order to save money. Secondly, at that time, when going to school to live and study, there was a load of books, one for clothes and bedding, and the other for books and the four treasures of the study.But since I was sensible, I have never seen a new quilt made in my home. The quilts are all short, narrow, and hard torn quilts filled with black cotton wool. The sides and corners of the quilt can only be kept warm and fall asleep by pressing some clothes on it. How can such a torn quilt be brought to school?Li Shilin knew about my difficulties in entering a higher school, so he proposed that his nephew Li Yanlin also went to Dianxi High School to study in the same class as me, so he could share a book load with his nephew and cover a quilt together. difficulties in enrolling.A year later, I don’t know where my father bought a pair of old book loads made of bamboo chips, tidied them up and used them for me, but I still didn’t have the money to buy quilts. For four years in high school, I used to build a quilt with Li Yanlin .

Dianxi Senior Primary School is located in Gaoping, where the district government is located. There are about ten principals and teachers, and more than one hundred students, all of whom are boys.There are about 30 freshmen who have just entered our school. They are divided into upper and lower classes, with more than a dozen students in each class.At that time, most of the children who could go to high school were from wealthy families, and the families were either landlords, rich peasants or businessmen, and only a few were from poor families; few.There are three people in our village who enrolled at the same time. My cousin Li Fengchu and Li Qingxiang from the same ethnic group all dropped out of school after only half a year or one year because they couldn't afford the tuition fee of two oceans a year, or the family lacked labor force. I was the only one who persisted until graduation. .

Scholars at that time were very particular about appearance and clothing, which became a burden for poor students.Because our poor families can't fill their stomachs on weekdays, how can we care about clothes?As the saying goes: "Laugh at the broken ones and never laugh at the mend ones." If the clothes are torn, mend them and wash them clean. People in the countryside don't know how to laugh at them.Although my second uncle Fuwen is a master tailor, our whole family still wears patch upon patch of tattered clothes.At that time, my father was the head of the family and couldn't afford new clothes, so he had to buy cheap old clothes to wear.My father is an old man in his sixties, and he only has one set of unpatched clothes, which he puts on every spring festival or when visiting relatives, and is replaced immediately when he gets home. This set of clothes has been worn almost all his life.I have always worn patched clothes made from adult clothes since I was a child. In the spring of the first year I was admitted to high school, my family prepared clothes for me to enter school. According to school regulations, students must wear black Chinese tunic suits and black military cap uniforms. I want to buy New uniforms are unaffordable.My mother carefully sewed up my ragged padded jacket, which was full of patches inside and out, and I couldn't find old cloth of similar color to mend, so I had to mend whatever cloth was available, making it colorful.Uncle Fuwen was very sorry, so he found a way to sew me a new black uniform jacket as a blouse, and changed a pair of old black uniform trousers to match.However, one day the whole school gathered for a military drill class, where they practiced formations holding wooden rifles. The playground was in the compound of the Hu Family Ancestral Hall, one li away from the school.The weather was very warm that day. I was afraid that it would be too hot to go out for exercise, so I took off my ragged cotton jacket and only wore a smock.In order not to be seen by others, he even pressed the torn cotton jacket under the quilt.I didn't expect that when I came back from the exercise, someone would turn out my ragged padded jacket and hang it at the door of the dormitory for "public display", deliberately making me look ugly.The students laughed at the torn padded jacket and said, "Which beggar wears this?" At that time, there were more than 20 people in our dormitory, and I was the head of the room. .

Another time, my father came to visit me at school and brought a bamboo tube of my favorite peppers, pickles and a bundle of small bamboo slices.This kind of small bamboo slices are used by people in the mountains as toilet paper.I only used it once at school and was discovered by my classmates.They commented one after another: "Which pauper wiped his ass with bamboo sticks? It's really unhygienic!" At that time, I didn't have the courage to admit that I used it, let alone argue with them, and I felt depressed.I really can't figure it out: Why are the rich classmates so rich, while my parents and uncle have worked hard all year round but have no food and clothing, and have been poor for generations?

At that time, the economy and culture in the mountainous area were very backward, and Dianxi High School was regarded as the "highest school" in Gaoping area.It is located next to the "ancestral hall" of Gaoping University. The school buildings are all large tile-roofed houses with brick and wood structure. There are auditoriums, offices, classrooms, dining halls, and dormitories for teachers and students. The facilities are relatively complete.Most of the teachers and students in the school eat in the dining hall. There are five or six kitchen masters who are in charge of cooking and stir-frying. There are three dry rice meals a day, and each meal has six dishes. There are meat and vegetables, and the meals are very delicious.In addition, the school also hired a handyman who was responsible for guarding the school gate, ringing the bell on time for get out of class and class, setting dishes and chopsticks in the dining hall before meals, washing dishes and chopsticks after meals, cleaning the dining hall and the surrounding environment, and washing more than 100 people in the school. student clothes.Workers basically have to work from dawn to lights out, which is very hard.Studying here is a paradise for me.But I also deeply sympathize with the hard work of the workers, so I wash my clothes by myself without bothering the workers.Some students ridiculed me because I was afraid that the workers would wash the clothes torn. Because the workers washed a lot of clothes, they usually picked them up by the stream and beat them with wooden sticks. The clothes were easily torn. This may be a reason, but the main thing is to sympathize with the workers’ hard work To lighten his burden a little.

Some students from wealthy families are still not satisfied with the superior living conditions of the school.Once, because of rising prices and insufficient food expenses, the school decided to change each meal from six dishes to five.For this reason, some well-to-do students started a riot, poured food on the dining table and refused to eat, and even hit the table and threw the bench, which made the principal go away, and the school had to suspend classes.These students took advantage of the suspension of classes to go to the streets to watch the big show every day.After a few days of class suspension, the gentlemen heard the news and rushed to the school, criticizing the students for making trouble, and persuading everyone to send representatives to invite the principal back, resume classes as soon as possible, and study hard.The students who took the lead in the trouble also felt wronged and dared not speak up, so the teacher presided over a school-teacher-student meeting, and elected me and five or six classmates as representatives to the principal's house, apologized to the principal, and promised that similar incidents would not happen again in the future.We invited back the principal, and the school resumed classes.

After school resumed, I went home one Sunday and talked to my father about the riot at school.My father asked me very concerned: "Is the school food not good?" I said: "The school meals are very good. There are three rice meals a day. At the beginning of school, there are six dishes for one meal. Later, one meal is reduced and five dishes are made. There are meat and vegetables. The dishes are also good, but the rich students are not satisfied. There will be trouble." My father asked again: "Doesn't the school eat sweet potato shreds?" I said, "The science teacher said in the lecture that sweet potato shreds are mostly starch, which is not nutritious, and they will poop after eating." My father was very angry and said: "This is What teacher, we mountain people eat sweet potato shreds every day, don’t we all grow strong? You young masters and students have read books until your assholes are read, what’s the use of reading this kind of book!”

This conversation taught me a lot.I think that what the teacher said may not be all right. The ancients advocated "thinking more", and you have to use your brain to think more about everything, and you can't copy what others say.Since then, I often remember this incident, thinking that all grains and miscellaneous grains support people.Needless to say, during the war years, even after the national victory, when the conditions were good, I often ate steamed buns, and I still insisted on the habit of eating miscellaneous grains until my later years. As I grow older, I feel more and more that the opportunity to study is hard-won, and I cherish it even more. I want to get rid of poverty through reading. Therefore, I study very hard, and I can respect teachers, unite with classmates, observe discipline, academic performance and "conduct" (that is, character) general evaluation, every year in the top five, almost every year is awarded.One year, I got the most scholarships, forty strings of copper coins. I was very happy and bought a copybook and some paper and pens. Most of the remaining money was given to my parents for the next semester's tuition. The elderly were very happy.I seldom go home on Sundays, usually only once every month or so.Every time I go home, my mother will take the money she saved from weaving linen and selling eggs to buy me snacks for ten copper coins, but I know that it is not easy for my parents to save money, so I am reluctant to spend it. , I only once spent a copper coin with my classmates to buy sugar cakes made of glutinous rice. The money I saved was returned to my parents along with the scholarship during the holiday. Dianxi Senior Primary School has a four-year schooling system. The first year is a preparatory course. The courses include Chinese, arithmetic, and general knowledge. After passing the exam, the second year is transferred to the regular course. Science (physics, chemistry) and English, self-cultivation, etc.Chinese, arithmetic, and English are the main subjects, and there is one class every day.At that time, the school attached great importance to English classes. Not only did they have a class every day, but they also required to use English conversation as much as possible in class, after class, in the dining hall, and in daily activities.When I started learning English in the second year, I had fewer words. I was also interested in learning and my grades were good. In the third grade, I got sick and missed classes for a few weeks. , but my academic performance is not very good, which affects my overall evaluation results, and I often feel regretful that I cannot compete for the first place. Arithmetic is also a main course, including the four arithmetic operations of integers, decimals, and fractions, as well as proportions and percentages. In senior grades, there are also simple geometry, algebra, and trigonometry. In addition, abacus calculations are also studied.My grades in these courses were good, but I wasn't that interested at the time.Unexpectedly, after participating in the revolution, when I studied military and political theories, especially when doing surveys and researches, I often had to use proportions and percentages.That's why I often teach soldiers and young people not to think that "reading is useless". Learning more knowledge when you are young is good for your career. The main course of Chinese is all ancient Chinese, and the vernacular is only used as a reference for extracurricular reading, and even the composition is written in classical Chinese.I have learned ancient prose since I was in a private school, and I have memorized a lot of poems and prose, so I have a certain foundation and am quite interested in Chinese.Our Chinese teacher in the first and second grades was surnamed Li, but I forgot his name. He returned to his hometown to teach after graduating from middle school in Changsha.He is amiable, has read many books, and has a wide range of knowledge. He not only speaks well in lectures, but also corrects compositions very well.He likes to use "top batch" in students' composition books and write detailed comments. Good articles are marked with five circles with a ballpoint pen, indicating "excellent", followed by four or three circles, indicating good or passing ; When he was very dissatisfied with poorly written articles, he wrote the four characters "Kongshan Rolling Drum", which is the homonym of "Butong, Butong"-"No way, no way".Once, after Mr. Li finished talking about Tao Yuanming, he asked us to imitate a travel note.I followed Tao Yuanming's style of writing and wrote that I rowed a small boat and entered a cave, and when I exited the cave, "the willows are dark and the flowers are bright, suddenly it becomes clear", and I entered a "Xanadu". People feel refreshed; this "Xanadu" has beautiful scenery and better people. Men farm and women weave, work together, work hard, and harvest every year. Everyone has enough food and clothing. , the old will end, the young will be raised, the old will be respected and the young will be loved, and there will be endless joy.This travel note is full of idyllic flavor, reflecting the simple "utopian socialism" fantasy of peasants in my youth.After reading it, Mr. Li praised him unceasingly, so he drew five red circles on the composition and wrote "Top Approval": "The article is straight from the outside, without vines or branches, the fragrance is far and clear, and the pavilion is clean and planted. The idyllic paradise described is extremely attractive, and I would like to travel with you." After correcting, Teacher Li immediately posted the composition and the "top batch" on the "Grid Display" board to demonstrate to the students.On the second day, Mr. Li explained his "top criticism" to the whole class. He borrowed the four sentences of "Zhongtongwaiwaizhi" from Song Dynasty writer Zhou Dunyi's "Ai Lian Shuo", and the topic of the criticism composition was clear and concentrated. The brushwork is fresh and smooth, "neither vines nor branches", not sloppy, and the fragrance of ink is overflowing; and after reading the composition, it is like visiting the scene in person, falling in love with this "Xanadu", and willing to go to play with me.Teacher Li's comments gave me a lot of encouragement and made me work harder.Unfortunately, Mr. Li suffered from lung disease because of his poor family and had no money for treatment and nutrition. He passed away when I was in the third grade.He was only in his thirties when he died, and he was in his prime, and the teachers and students of the whole school were very sad.In order to express their nostalgia for the loss of a good teacher, the students specially pooled money to buy more than ten feet of white silk and wrote an elegiac couplet, which was sent to Teacher Li's mourning hall. On the day of the funeral, all the teachers and students of the school went to the funeral.Teacher Li has no heirs, so according to family rules, his tablet could not enter the ancestral hall. Later, the "sacrifice meeting" saw so many teachers and students going to the funeral, so they respected Teacher Li so much, so they made an exception and allowed his tablet to be placed in the ancestral hall. At that time, the wave of the May 4th Movement had spread all over the country, shaking the land of Jixiang. The principal of the school, Chen Xinmou, and seven or eight teachers were mostly inclined to progress, especially Deng Zifeng, a Chinese teacher, and Bei Xinghuang, a history teacher. , more strongly anti-imperialist and anti-warlord patriotism, lectures are also very good, have a very high prestige among the students, I respect them both even more.After I graduated from high school in the spring of 1924, when the peasant movement in Hunan was at its peak, Deng Zifeng and Bei Xinghuang immediately joined the peasant movement. They joined the Kuomintang in 1925 and became leftists in the Kuomintang.Deng Zifeng was also elected as the chairman of the Gaoping District Farmers' Association and a member of the Gaoping District Party Committee of the Kuomintang; he joined the Communist Party in 1926 and has been committed to the revolutionary cause.It is a pity that after the "Ma Day Incident" in 1927, both of them were arrested by the Kuomintang reactionaries and died heroically.These two teachers are my first political teachers that I will never forget in my life, and their teachings are still fresh in my memory. I remember when Bei Xinghuang, the history teacher at that time, was talking about the modern history of China, starting from the Opium War launched by the British imperialists in 1840, which forced the Qing government to sign the first "Nanjing Treaty" that humiliated the country, and talked about the history of the empire in the past century. The socialist powers invaded and carve up our country relying on strong ships and guns; the British, French and Eight-Power Allied Forces attacked our country frantically, invaded cities and seized land, burned, killed and looted, bringing serious disasters to the Chinese people. The great powers bowed their knees and surrendered, signed a series of unequal treaties of treachery, and handed over the great rivers and mountains, territories, and sovereignty of the motherland to imperialism; they also talked about the robbery Yuan Shikai signed "21" with Japanese imperialism in an attempt to change China. It is a colony exclusively occupied by Japan; after Yuan Shikai's death, warlords of all sizes fought for hegemony and ruled the hegemony with the support of the various imperialisms they relied on.When the geography teacher explained the geographical knowledge of various parts of my country, he not only mentioned that our country has a vast land, a large population, and rich products, we should love China and revive China, but also often accused the crimes of imperialism invading our country based on the actual situation.When talking about the geography of Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan, Penghu and other places, it is introduced that these places have been Chinese territory since ancient times and when they were occupied by imperialism; when it comes to the geography of Guangzhou, Fuzhou, Xiamen, Ningbo, Shanghai and other cities At that time, he also mentioned that this was the first unequal treaty in the modern history of China that forfeited power and humiliated the country—the "five treaty ports" that were forced to open in the Sino-British "Nanjing Treaty". The "concession" was established, trampling on China's sovereignty unreasonably.Whenever the history and geography teachers talked about the decline of the country and the bullying of the nation, they were filled with grief and anger, and sometimes burst into tears.The young hearts of many of my classmates and I were deeply touched, and we shed tears one after another. In our hearts, we sowed the seeds of revenge of hating imperialism, bureaucratic warlords, and vowing to avenge national humiliation. Chinese teacher Deng Zifeng, history teacher Bei Xinghuang and geography teacher also told us that the Chinese nation has a long history, a splendid culture, and a glorious tradition of resisting foreign aggression and fighting heroically; It tells the struggle stories of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, the Boxers, the Small Knife Society and the Revolution of 1911 against imperialist aggression and overthrowing the corrupt rule of the Qing Dynasty in modern history. Everyone is responsible for the rise and fall of the country." We must inherit the great cause of our ancestors against imperialism, feudalism and warlords, never Don't forget the national humiliation, and revitalize China. While studying in Dianxi Senior Primary School, the teachers also led us to participate in patriotic activities such as rallies, speeches, demonstrations, and publicizing "boycott of hated goods".Every year on the "National Humiliation Day" from May 7th to 9th (that is, the time when Yuan Shikai signed the "21" with the Japanese imperialists in 1915), the school holds a "National Humiliation Memorial Conference" and goes to the high school after the meeting. Demonstrations in Ping, Shiwan and other places.In front of the parade, the national flags of red, yellow, blue, white, and black and the white school flag symbolizing the "republic of five races" were held high, followed by our military band; the military band has big and small foreign drums and more than a dozen bugles. A trumpet player who can play several trumpets.This was followed by a parade of teachers and students.The teachers and students participating in the parade sang the "National Humiliation Memorial Song" along the way, holding small colorful paper flags with slogans and slogans, and shouted: "Down with imperialism!" "Down with warlords!" "Down with traitors!" "Abolish all inequalities!" The traitorous treaty!" "Don't forget the national humiliation, rejuvenate China!" "Resist hatred goods" and other revolutionary slogans.When the local people heard the sound of military music and slogans, they flocked to the streets to watch, and some even walked behind the parade. The scene was really majestic and high-spirited. The parade stopped when it came to the streets and downtown, formed a semicircle, and carried out costume performances and street publicity. First, they performed a few live newspaper plays, double reeds or dances choreographed by Deng Zifeng and Bei Xinghuang. Or Teacher Bei Kenhuang stood on a high stool and gave a speech, accusing imperialism, especially Japanese imperialism, of aggression crimes, and calling on the masses to take action and boycott the enemy.Once, a classmate and I performed a double reed written by Mr. Deng Zifeng. I remember a sentence in it: "The great China, but the one who gets stuck, who is the one who stuck me? Ah Yiwu!" At that time, because of the county, The district government is not allowed to openly put forward slogans against Japanese imperialism, so the homophony of several Japanese pinyin symbols of "ahyiwuohoh" is used to represent Japanese imperialism; the slogan "boycott Japanese goods" is used to represent "boycott Japanese goods". Through speeches and propaganda, ordinary people can understand it. This is a slogan against Japanese imperialism. These patriotic activities have greatly promoted my ideological progress, and made me germinate patriotic thoughts of anti-imperialism, feudalism, and warlords in my student days. In the spring of 1924, I graduated from high school.Li Shilin, the school affairs committee member of the district, Deng Zifeng, Bei Xinghuang and other teachers all advised me to enter a middle school or a normal school because of my good academic performance.I also really want to continue my studies, but I have to go to Changsha, the provincial capital, for middle school, which costs more than 80 yuan a year. "I applied for a bursary, but the bursaries for Malan'ao, Shuangkeng, Xikeng University, and the small "Sacrifice" can only add up to 70 yuan, and I have to spend more than ten yuan a year, which is really beyond my ambition.In addition, my father was eager to have a grandson, so when I was only sixteen years old in 1922, he hurriedly married my child bride-in-law, Mrs. Liu; at this time, Mrs. Liu was pregnant and was about to give birth. It will increase the burden on my parents. Although I am still in the prime of life and studying and motivated, I have to reluctantly drop out of school. After dropping out of school and returning to my hometown, leaving the school, the tireless teacher, and the classmates I got along with day and night, I suddenly felt extremely lonely and melancholy.I often sit on the hillside and look up at the blue sky, but unfortunately the endless sky is blocked by towering mountains, leaving only a narrow gap; Floating leisurely in the gaps; looking down the slope, the silver chain-like creeks and rivers are shining with sparkling waves, flowing slowly along the winding ravines, squeezing out of the valley in front of them with difficulty, and disappearing behind the mountains between.I love my hometown, the mountains in my hometown, the water in my hometown, the trees in my hometown, and the people in my hometown, but I also feel painful that the mountains in my hometown block my view, the water in my hometown flows so slowly, and the trees in my hometown are all green in spring, summer, autumn and winter. , Just like stone sculptures and clay sculptures, they will never change; the people in their hometown are hardworking and simple, but their ancestors have crouched in this high mountain and narrow valley for generations, living a miserable life.I fantasize about rushing out of the valley with the gurgling stream, rushing to the sea, and chasing the roaring waves; Chinese truth. One day, Li Guowen, a classmate from Dianxi High School, rushed to my house excitedly and invited me to go to Guangzhou to apply for the Whampoa Military Academy. We had heard from Mr. Deng Zifeng that Guangzhou was the center of the national revolution, and many revolutionary youths gathered here. After arriving in Guangzhou, I am so happy to have this opportunity to study at the Whampoa Military Academy in Guangzhou.It's a pity that neither of us raised the travel expenses, so we couldn't make the trip, and we could only look at the southern sky and sigh. In the spring of 1924, I became a junior primary school teacher when I was under eighteen.At that time, the primary school teachers all practiced an appointment system. The school board of directors (private schools were "sacrificial associations") hired principals, and the principals were responsible for recommending and hiring teachers. If you want to be a teacher, you have to find a position yourself.I have worked as a teacher in Gaoping District Public Ping An No. 2 Primary School, Private Lishi Zhantan Primary School, Gaoping District Public Ping An No. 1 Primary School, and Private Lishi Shanzao Primary School.In the autumn of 1926, when he was a teacher in Ping'an No. 1 Junior Primary School, he was also hired as a part-time principal by the village's private Lishi Yuxing Primary School.Because I was provided by the "Sacrificial Association" of my village for my further education, the part-time principal only fulfilled his obligations and did not receive a salary.When I started working as a teacher, my annual salary was 30 dans of grain, equivalent to more than 60 yuan; later, my annual salary was increased to 40 dans of millet, which was equivalent to more than 80 yuan. Although my life was not rich, it was better than ordinary poor farmers. many. The work tasks of rural teachers are very heavy.There are four classes of students of different levels in one classroom, each class has only a few or a dozen students, and there are several kinds of textbooks such as Chinese, arithmetic and common sense.During class, one class is in class, and other classes are self-studying or doing homework. They have to take turns to complete the lessons of the four classes and guide them to finish their homework before get out of class ends.What's more troublesome is that a cram school was added one year, with five students, some of whom were older, and their courses were all prescribed by their parents. , The lectures every day are really dry, very hard.If it rains, I have to carry the young students to school, and then carry them home after school, which is also very tiring.However, rural teachers are very respected by farmers. They ask me to write letters and Spring Festival couplets for them. Some weddings and funerals also ask me to help.In this way, I will quickly get acquainted with the parents of the students and the masses, which will facilitate the development of revolutionary activities. In the spring of 1925, I was hired to teach in the Malan’ao Public Ping’an No. 1 National Primary School. At that time, I was young and full of revolutionary enthusiasm. It was written "Don't forget the national humiliation, boycott the goods of hatred", with four big red characters on one side very conspicuously, to promote anti-imperialist and patriotic ideas to students and the masses.One day in mid-March, news came from the District Office that Mr. Sun Yat-sen had passed away on March 12. All the teachers and students in the school were very sad. They thought that Mr. Sun Yat-sen had just passed away when the revolution had just begun. What is the future of the revolution?I contacted several teachers from nearby schools and decided to jointly prepare for a memorial meeting. Through the memorial meeting, on the one hand, we would express our condolences, and on the other hand, we would publicize Sun Yat-sen's patriotic thoughts of anti-imperialism and anti-feudalism to the masses.The venue is located at the Malanao Market.At the venue, a podium was built by borrowing door panels.In the middle of the rostrum hangs a colorful photo of Mr. Sun Yat-sen, and on both sides of the photo are pasted two sentences from Mr. Sun Yat-sen's will: "The revolution has not yet succeeded, comrades still have to work hard"; Elegy and elegiac couplets are solemn and solemn. There were six to seven hundred people from the school, teachers and students and the surrounding people who attended the meeting that day.The memorial service is hosted by me.After announcing the opening of the meeting, everyone bowed three times to Mr. Sun Yat-sen's portrait and observed a silent tribute.After the silence, let me read the "Premier's Will": "I have devoted myself to the national revolution for forty years, and my purpose is to seek freedom and equality in China. After forty years of experience, I know that in order to achieve this goal, we must arouse the people and Unite the nations of the world who treat us as equals and fight together. The revolution has not yet succeeded.” Hundreds of people in the entire venue listened to my reading with bated breath, all in silence, as if they were all in deep thought: Mr. Sun Yat-sen has passed away, the revolution has not yet succeeded, what should we do? At the end of the memorial meeting, speeches were free. Teachers, students, and representatives of district and township governments from all schools spoke enthusiastically, expressing their willingness to carry on the will of Dr. Sun Yat-sen and carry the national revolution to the end. There has never been such a meeting in Gaoping area for many years, and this memorial meeting is the first time in history.Progressive teachers and classmates were very excited. They not only saw the enthusiasm of the masses yearning for revolution, but also realized the arduous task of fighting against imperialism and feudalism. On May 30, 1925, the "May 30th Massacre" that shocked China and the world occurred in Shanghai.The Japanese, British and other imperialists colluded with each other, and on May 15th and 30th, they shot and wounded workers, Communist Party member Gu Zhenghong, and dozens of students and workers twice in a row. People from all over the country staged demonstrations in solidarity with the anti-imperialist struggle of the people of Shanghai.After the students and workers in Changsha held a massive anti-imperialist demonstration, in July, in order to support the struggle of the Shanghai people, many propaganda teams were organized to go into the countryside during the summer vacation and mobilize the masses.Our students from Liuyang County who went to Changsha to study in Changsha organized the "Liuyang County Travel Provincial Alumni Association Propaganda Team", and my classmate Zhan Lianwu from Dianxi High School led the team to Gaoping. After Zhan Lianwu came to Gaoping, he contacted me immediately.Several teachers and I were discussing how to support the anti-imperialist struggle of the Shanghai people. The arrival of the Propaganda Team from the Provincial Alumni Association gave us a clear direction for the struggle.At that time, the school was on summer vacation, so we immediately mobilized some teachers and students to join their propaganda team, went deep into Gaoping, Zhantan, Shiwan, and Malan'ao areas, organized mass gatherings, street publicity, live newspaper dramas, lectures, and fundraising. Support the strike struggle of Shanghai workers.The live newspaper dramas we performed were all self-written and performed according to the propaganda content. The form was very simple. Several actors wore paper-pasted bowler hats with "Ji Ziqi", "Sun Flag" and "Star-Spangled Banner" painted on them. "It symbolizes imperialists such as Britain, Japan, and the United States, wearing suits, holding a civilized stick in one hand, and a wooden pistol or machete in the other. , holding sickles, hammers and wooden rifles, shouting slogans of struggle, resisting aggression and oppression.The actors performed very seriously and lifelike, and the audience was emotional after watching it, and they often chanted the slogan "Down with imperialism" together with the actors. Wherever the propaganda team went, it was well received by the masses.We told the masses about the "May 30th Massacre" and accused the imperialists of their crimes.In my speech, I made an impassioned statement and shouted loudly: The reason why China was ravaged by the iron hooves of imperialism and allowed to be slaughtered was because China's warlords, big and small, were divided into feudal regimes, like a mess of loose sand.To save the Chinese nation from suffering, the masses of workers and peasants must unite and organize to carry out the national revolution, overthrow the imperialist powers, warlords, corrupt officials, local tyrants and evil gentry!In order to express my love for China, I bought a plain white folding fan. On one side, I drew the outline of a map of China, and on both sides I wrote "Don't forget the national humiliation, revive China"; "rules" to remind myself and to educate students and the masses. When we were speaking, someone from the propaganda team led the crowd to shout slogans at the right time: "Down with imperialism!" "Cancel unequal treaties!" "Withdraw all foreign troops stationed in China!" Added to the heated atmosphere. We also distributed "Why Fundraising? " mimeographed leaflets, telling the masses: Shanghai workers are now on strike, workers' life is very difficult, we donate a little money, in order to support them to persist in the strike struggle and strive for victory.Although most of the people are poor farmers and handicraft workers, they can donate generously and donate to the best of their ability. Although the money is not much, it is very touching.Some of us were in charge of collecting donations, while others sang: "Down with the Great Powers, Down with the Great Powers, Eliminate the Warlords, Eliminate the Warlords." The passionate singing made the donation activities more enthusiastic and inspiring. This publicity campaign lasted for more than ten days, and we visited almost all the villages in Gaoping District. In fact, it was an educational campaign for the peasants to fight against imperialism and patriotism; for me, it was also an exercise for carrying out mass work . After the "Propaganda Team of Liuyang County Traveling Alumni Association" started working in Gaoping District, Communist Party members Zhang Yunhong and Zhan Lianwu stayed to carry out the peasant movement in this area.According to the decision of the Third National Congress of the Communist Party of China on the establishment of a revolutionary united front and the spirit of the New Three People's Principles declared by the First National Congress of the Kuomintang, they joined the Kuomintang organization with "personal qualifications". The local task of "establishing the Kuomintang organization for it".Its purpose was to transform the Kuomintang into a revolutionary alliance of workers, peasants, urban petty bourgeoisie and national bourgeoisie, and to ensure the leading role of the proletariat and the Communist Party inside and outside the Kuomintang.At that time, the revolutionary masses in the countryside were mainly poor peasants, so they took mobilizing poor peasants to participate in the national revolution and launching the anti-imperialist and anti-feudal struggle as their central task. At the beginning of 1926, the Kuomintang District Party Headquarters was established in Gaoping District, with Zhan Lianwu as the standing committee member and Zhang Yunhong as the organization committee member.Because Zhang Yunhong and Zhan Lianwu knew my revolutionary enthusiasm and work situation better when they were working in the "Propaganda Team of Liuyang County Traveling Alumni Association". One day, the two of them went to the school to find me and wanted to introduce me to join the Kuomintang.他们告诉我：国民党在共产党帮助下，于一九二四年一月召开了第一次全国代表大会进行改组，明确了反帝反封建的斗争任务，并提出“联俄、联共、扶助农工”的三大政策，成为领导国民革命的统一战线组织。现在高坪区已经成立了国民党区党部，主要任务是开展农民运动；如果我参加了国民党，就可以同他们一起工作。当时我对他们两人很信任，一心想同他们一起干革命，经他们劝说，没有过多的考虑，便凭一股革命热情答应了。第二天，我就由张运鸿、詹连吾二人介绍，填表参加了国民党。不久，张运鸿考虑到高坪区党部要领导好几个乡的农运工作，面很广，照顾不过来，又布置我们成立国民党高坪区分部，在高坪、船仓（包括马栏拗、双坑、西坑等村）一带开展农运工作，由李石麟任常务委员，我任组织委员，还有一个叫刘绍珊的小学教员任宣传委员。 当时我们都比较明确，国民党区分部的任务就是要发动、组织农民，开展反帝反封建斗争。所以，区分部一成立，就通过宣传、串连，积极发展农民协会会员。二月间，我到高坪参加区农民协会成立大会，会上，区农民协会委员长张运鸿授予我一面缀有“耕犁”的船仓乡农民协会红色会旗，我回马栏坳后同李石麟等人经过几天筹备，便在双坑村私立李氏山枣初级小学校召开船仓乡农会会员大会，成立船仓乡农民协会。在农会会员大会选举时，选举出农会委员十多人，其中我得的票数最多，但我考虑到李石麟的社会经历多，经验和学识都比我丰富，在第一次执委会上，便推荐李石麟为乡农民协会委员长，我和李秀松为副委员长。 农民运动的兴起，势如急风暴雨，迅猛异常，特别是一九二六年七月十四日，北伐军叶挺独立团进入浏阳县城，扫除了北洋军阀赵恒惕的反动势力，土豪劣绅闻风而逃。八月，正式成立了国民党浏阳县党部和县农民协会、县总工会，这些组织的骨干，大多是共产党员。在他们的领导下，浏阳的农民运动更加热火朝天。我们乡农会经常召开大会，宣传国民革命，号召农民团结起来，支援北伐军打倒帝国主义列强，打倒军阀和贪官污吏、土豪劣绅，以求解放。每次召开大会，农民都踊跃参加。会前，我负责教唱《打倒列强》、《工农兵联合起来》、《少年先锋队歌》等革命哥曲。农民明白了一些革命道理，一扫郁结在心中的闷气，放开喉咙高唱，心情格外舒畅。特别是青年、妇女、儿童，对唱歌尤感兴趣，会上唱，回家还唱，歌声使千百年来沉闷的农村活跃了起来，显露出生气。不久，我们又组织起妇女会、儿童团，把妇女和儿童也组织起来，投入革命斗争。 农民有了组织之后，第一个行动便是从政治上把地主阶级、特别是地主阶级的代表——土豪劣绅的威风打下去，把农民的权力长上来。因为农民运动一兴起，大的地主和土豪劣绅闻风丧胆，纷纷逃到省城、县城，小的地主和地痞流氓也四处躲藏，反动势力迅即土崩瓦解。农会领导农民推翻了土豪劣绅把持的区、乡政权机关，宣布“一切权力归农会”，推翻了几千年来压在农民头顶上的封建统治，使农民挣脱了枷锁，翻身做了主人。农会会员个个兴高采烈，欢欣鼓舞，真是换了人间。 为了镇压地主和土豪劣绅的反抗，保卫新生的农民政权，我们很快地组织起农民自卫军，把农民武装起来。农民自卫军和农会会员、妇女会员、儿童团员经常在开完大会之后，就高举缀有“耕犁”的农民协会会旗，佩带红袖章，背着鸟枪或手持大刀、长矛、梭镖游行，个个威风凛凛，扬眉吐气。农会组织之后的第二个行动，就是反对高利贷，进行平祟和减租减息斗争，从经济上打击地主。当时地主大多囤积许多粮食，青黄不接的季节再抬高粮价出售，牟取暴利。农会就贴出布告，限定粮价，并明令禁止地主把粮食运到外地去卖。各乡农会都派出儿童团、自卫军在交通要道的路口站岗设卡，发现地主豪绅偷运粮食出境，立即没收，并将地主豪绅抓出来游乡。触犯农会禁令的地主豪绅被押着游乡时，一边敲锣，一边自己喊：“我是土豪劣绅，偷运积谷，该死该死！”农民一旁围观，笑骂土豪劣绅，使他们从此颜面扫地，做不起人！ 农会经过会员大会讨论通过，还贴出告示宣布：禁止赌博吸毒、偷盗抢劫、乱砍山林、破坏水利；禁止嫖妓宿娼、虐待妇女、纳妾、娶童养媳；提倡男女平等平权，宣传妇女剪短发、放脚；还有，不准演坏戏，不准搞迷信活动，不准坐轿子，等等。对于违犯禁令者，区别情况进行批评教育和必要的处理。这些禁令绝大部分是针对千百年来农村的封建陋习和为了发展生产提出来的，是完全正确的，不过有些禁令也有过激的地方：例如，“不准坐轿子”，说是“人不能抬人，人的肩膀不能给别人当路走”，见了坐轿的既打坐轿人，有时也打抬轿的，一起抓了游乡；甚至连一些老中医坐轿子到乡下给人治病也挨打，这就失之过激。但是，尽管这“农民诸禁”中还有不妥之处，在当时扫除旧社会遗留下来的一些恶习，确实起了很大的作用。仅几个月时间，农村就出现了前所未有的尊老爱幼、家庭和睦，生产发展、社会安定，道不拾遗、夜不闭户的新风尚、新面貌。 农民运动的兴起，使农村发生了翻天复地的变化，也使我认识到农民确是国民革命的一支生力军。农民运动好得很！ 一九二六年暑假，我被选送到设在古港“狮山书院”的国民党高坪区暑期政治讲习所学习了一个月。同时选送去学习的还有李石麟和刘绍珊、刘绍元两兄弟（他俩都是教员）等人。这个讲习所是以共产党员为骨干的国民党浏阳县党部筹办的，实际上是共产党组织领导的马克思主义理论训练班。参加学习的有浏阳东乡各地选送的学员一百多人。所长李九鸣虽是清朝末年的老“秀才”，而且年逾花甲，但思想很进步，早期参加了共产党，在浏阳东乡一带有很高的威望；由他担任所长，更能取得社会上各界人士的支持，开展统一战线工作。讲习所的教员有中共浏阳县委筹备组负责人、国民党浏阳县党部执行委员兼宣传部长潘心源，中共浏阳县委筹备组成员、国民党浏阳县党部执行委员张启魁，中共浏阳县委筹备组成员、浏阳县农民协会委员长罗纳川和中共浏阳县委筹备组的几个干部，他们都有较高的理论水平。当时正是第一次国共合作的北伐战争时期，国民党实行孙中山先生提出的“联俄、联共、扶助农工”的三大政策。共产党有远见地利用这个革命形势高涨的时机，帮助国民党组建基层组织，组织农会、工会，掌握农民运动的领导权，并抓紧对国民党左派中的先进分子进行马克思主义教育，提高他们的政治觉悟和理论水平，使其成为共产党员的培养发展对象，这是很正确的决策。 讲习所的课程有：《马克思主义浅说》、《共产主义ABC》、《唯物史观》、《社会发展简史》和《职工运动》等，此外，每人还发了几本《三民主义》、《建国大纲》、《建国方略》等书作为自修之用。过去，我虽然在《新青年》和“浏阳旅省同学会”出版的《浏阳旬刊》等一些革命刊物上读到一点马克思主义的知识，但仅是一鳞半爪；这次学习，对我来说是一次难得的马克思主义启蒙教育。对于这些课程，我都感到非常新鲜，如饥似渴地学习。上课时，老师用启发式的教学方法，讲得深入浅出，通俗易懂，我听得几乎入了迷；讨论时，我认真思考，积极发言，有时还争论一通；争论不清时又找教师讲解，直到把问题弄通。学习时间虽短，收获很大。特别是通过《社会发展简史》的学习，使我懂得劳动创造世界、人民是历史的主人的道理；懂得劳苦大众受穷受苦不是命苦，而是地主、资本家剥削的结果；懂得帝国主义侵略中国是帝国主义本性决定的；向往列宁领导俄国“十月革命”胜利后工农大众夺取政权、当家作主的幸福生活。总之，通过学习使我懂得为什么必须进行革命和社会发展必然走上社会主义、共产主义道路的光明前景，从而明确了要革命就要跟着共产党走，才能将革命进行到底，在学习期间，潘心源告诉我们，为了联络感情，中共浏阳县委筹备组的负责人张启龙要来看我们。那一天，张启龙来到讲习所同我们亲切交谈，鼓励我们好好学习，并同我们二十多个学员合影留念。 一九二七年初，我受聘到双坑我的母校——私立李氏山枣初级小学当教员，年薪提高到八十块大洋。可是，开学不久，国民党高坪区党部又调我到浏阳县党务研究所学习。我觉得学习机会难得，毅然辞去了这个高薪职位，请别人顶替，按时到县城报到。 国民党浏阳县党务研究所设在浏阳县城孔庙的礼乐局内（现为浏阳县第一中学校址）。一九二六年九月，中共浏阳县第一次党员代表大会就在这里召开，成立了中共浏阳县地方委员会，选举潘心源为书记，张启魁、罗纳川等七人为委员。这里基本上是中共浏阳县委活动的地方。这个党务研究所同高坪区暑期政治讲习所一样，也是共产党培养训练干部的学校。研究所由中共浏阳县委书记潘心源和县委委员张启魁、罗纳川负责，教员还有中共湖南省委特派员和浏阳县委的干部，师资力量更强。课程内容与高坪区暑期政治讲习所相同，只是增加了毛泽东同志一九二七年三月刚发表的《湖南农民运动考察报告》这一新的内容。毛泽东同志在报告中分析了农民运动的形势，列举了农会做的十四件大事，阐明了它的意义，批驳了对农民运动的种种责难和诽谤，热情歌颂了农民运动“好得很！”我虽然亲身参加过这场运动，也深切地感受到农民运动给广大农村带来翻天复地的变化，但它还仅仅是感性的认识。学习了毛泽东同志《湖南农民运动考察报告》后，才进一步认识它的伟大意义，从中受到极大的启发和鼓舞。 学习期间，我们还参加了在浏阳县城召开的数万人的群众大会。会上，县特别法庭公审处决了东乡永和市反动头子肖芳庭、普迹反动分子李正益，北乡连溪反动团总寻藕耕、西乡镇头反动团总卢铭德、南乡文家市反动教主肖绍荣等九名罪大恶极的土豪劣绅，狠狠地打击了封建反动势力的嚣张气焰。我们在会上听到农民对土豪劣绅所犯罪行的控诉，看到处决土豪劣绅时农民扬眉吐气、拍手称快的热烈情景，使我进一步看到了农民运动的强大威力，进一步增强了搞好农民运动的决心和信心。 党务研究所的领导同志还带领我们参加一些实际斗争，使我们能理论联系实际，在斗争中增长才干。当时浏阳城关有一座远近闻名的“麻衣庙”，又称“孝子庙”，供奉着古代几个孝子的神像，四乡农民经常来此烧香许愿，香火很旺。土豪劣绅为了破坏农民运动，便利用农民的迷信思想，故意造谣县政府和农民协会要拆毁“麻衣庙”，捣毁菩萨，煽动上万名不明真相的农民包围了“麻衣庙”，并扬言要捣毁县政府、且党部和县农会。那时候，潘心源等中共浏阳县委的领导同志已经发动群众，从二十一个民团手中夺取了七百余支枪，组织了农民武装，以县政府的名义成立了工农义勇队，并进行了一定的训练，成为我们共产党直接掌握和领导的武装力量。这支七八百人的农民武装在镇压反革命和保卫县城的治安方面，起了很大作用，后来成为秋收暴动的一支重要的武装力量。 中共浏阳县委负责同志面对一触即发的严重局势，马上布置工农义勇队加强对县政府、县党部和县农会、工会的警戒，并发枪给我们研究所的学员保卫中共浏阳县委，协助工农义勇队昼夜站岗放哨，防止敌人发动突然袭击。同时，他们带着农会的干部到附近乡村进行宣传，揭露土豪劣绅散布的谣言，动员群众到“麻衣庙”把参加闹事的人找回家。不几天，受蒙骗的农民陆续散去，事态很快平息下来，土豪劣绅的阴谋被挫败了。 学习结束后，我返回西坑。这时，国民党浏阳县党部、县政府决定把原高坪区划分为高坪、船仓两个区。我们西坑、双坑和船仓、马栏坳、冷水塘等村划为船仓区，单独成立国民党船仓区分部、区行政委员会（即区政府），詹连吾任区分部常务委员，我任组织委员；张运鸿任区行政委员会主任，李秀松、贝铭圃、聂帮阶为副主任，李石麟任学务委员。这时，我同张运鸿、詹连吾又在一起工作，同住在船仓一座作为区公所的祠堂里，朝夕相处，关系更加密切。有一天，他们问我参加暑期政治讲习所和县党务研究所学习有什么体会？我如实以对。他们才告诉我，他们是共产党员，是以“个人资格”参加国民党的，过去先介绍我加入国民党，是要在政治上帮助我进步，经过这一年的考验、锻炼，我的进步很快。接着，他们又向我：“愿意不愿意参加共产党？”我坚决地说：“在县党务研究所的时候，我就决心要参加共产党，但那时候同潘心源、罗纳川等同志还不大熟悉，不敢贸然提出申请。现在有了这个机会，我当然愿意参加！” 四月初的一天，张运鸿、詹连吾二人介绍我加入了共产党。因为我是贫农出身，没有候补期，经浏阳县委批准为正式党员。入党宣誓仪式是在船仓区公所所在的祠堂正厅里秘密举行的。那天晚上，区公所其他干部都已经回家，参加仪式的只有我们三个人。仪式开始时，詹连吾拿着一本封面上印有马克思像的小册子对我说：“今天我们介绍你加入中国共产党。共产党是信仰马克思主义的无产阶级政党，是领导穷人闹翻身求解放的组织。它的最终目的是打倒帝国主义、土豪劣绅，建立一个没有压迫、没有剥削，人人平等，大家都过好日子的共产主义社会。入了党就要把自己的一切都交给党。为了实现这个目标，不怕流血牺牲，英勇奋斗。”接着，张运鸿也讲了话，他说：“共产党员同劳苦大众心连心，是贪官污吏、土豪劣绅的死对头。为了打倒这些害人虫，把民众从苦难中解救出来，我们要把党和人民的利益放在第一位，吃苦在前，享受在后，象誓词说的那样，做一个好党员。” 他们两人讲完话后，詹连吾把封面上印有马克思像的那本书恭恭敬敬地竖立在一张方桌上，让我向马克思像行三鞠躬礼，然后进行宣誓。我庄严地举起右手，握住拳头，跟着詹连吾一句一句地诵读誓词：“努力革命，阶级斗争；服从组织，牺牲个人；严守秘密，永不叛党。” 宣誓仪式后，张运鸿宣布成立党支部。当时在船仓区包括我在内只有三个共产党员，成立一个党支部，由詹连吾任党支部书记。当晚，我的心情非常激动，久久不能入睡，回想起我从到甸溪高小读书时，听老师讲国耻、泪涟涟，开始寻求救国的道路；毕业后，投身反帝反封建的农民运动，在斗争中学习、探索，终于在共产党的指引下，找到了马克思主义这个救国救民的真理，这是我的幸运，我人生道路新的开端。我决心一生都要为共产主义这个真理而奋斗，抛头颅、洒热血，万死不辞，做一个忠诚的共产党员。 “世界观的转变是根本的转变。”我加入共产党后，思想上发生了一个飞跃的变化：从一个民主主义者转变成为一名无产阶级的革命战士，在此后的革命斗争中，随着政治觉悟的不断提高，逐步地将个人的命运、前途同党的事业的成败联系在一起了。