Chapter 5 Section 5

Jiang Yanrong sat blankly in front of her desk, staring desperately at the algebra textbooks on the table that refused to cooperate with her.It was a Sunday morning, and she had been working on an algebra problem for two hours.However, those numbers and those strange symbols will not soften no matter what she does.She sighed, put down her pen, looked up at the blue sky outside the window, and saw a little bird perched on her window sill, she gently opened the curtains a bit more, but the timid creature had already been startled, and opened her eyes. Open your wings and fly!She leaned back in the chair discouraged, and picked a book from the bookshelf. It was a book of three hundred Tang poems.Opening a page at random, it was Li Bai's poem "Going down to Zhongnan Mountain and Passing Husi Mountain People to Stay and Zhijiu". She read softly:

"From the foot of the blue mountain in the evening, the mountain and the moon return with people. But the path where you come, is green and green. Carrying with Tian's family, childishly opens the thorn leaf, green bamboo enters the quiet path, and green radish brushes the clothes. Happy words have a rest , chatting with fine wine and playing together, singing long songs in the pine wind, melodious and starry, I am drunk and happy again, Tao Ran forgets the machine together." She closed the book, put it aside, and picked up the teacup thoughtfully, she felt that the Husi mountain people Life was much more pleasant than hers, so simple, so innocent.And Li Bai is a person who really understands life.Suddenly, she had a whim, if Li Bai was locked up in a modern school since he was a child, and he was asked to study nitric acid, sulfuric acid, sin, cos, xy, positive and negative numbers every day, would he still become Li Bai?At that time, he probably didn't have the time to go to the "Five Sacred Mountains to seek the mountains without saying goodbye", and he was not in the mood to "raise a glass to invite the bright moon".Taking a sip of tea, she reluctantly looked at the book of three hundred Tang poems. She really wanted to put aside those numbers and pick up Tang poems to recite.A cup of tea and a book of Tang poems are the bliss of life, but who invented these damn things?Now, she had to put aside Tang poetry and return to that terrible algebra topic.After another half an hour, she raised her head, her mind was in a mess, but the topic seemed to be getting more and more difficult.Feeling frustrated, and thinking that this morning was so wasted, she felt disheartened. A drop of childish tears fell on the textbook, and she quietly wiped it away. "Lately, I seem to be very vulnerable," she thought.Crumple up all the scratch paper and throw it into the wastebasket.In the next room, Jiang Lin was learning to play the harmonica, making extremely unpleasant noises.In the living room, my father was talking about state affairs with a room full of guests.Jiang Yanruo was doing homework in her mother's room.Everyone has their own life, only Jiang Yanrong's life is very uncomfortable.She stood up and saw the messy bookshelf, those beloved books from the pocket money that had been accumulated for a long time, all covered with dust.The busyness of homework made her neglect these books, and now, seeing this messy situation, she felt that she could not bear it.She moved the books off the bookshelf, organized and packaged them one by one, and moved them back to the bookshelf one by one. She was very busy when Jiang Lin came running with a brush and drawing board, and shouted in a hurry: "Sister, you Sit still and I'll draw a portrait for you!"

"No," Jiang Yanrong said, "I want to organize the bookshelves." "What are you sorting out, those broken books!" "The broken books need to be tidied up!" Jiang Yanrong said, still tidying up hers. "Oh, why don't you sit down, I must draw you beautifully!" "I'm not interested!" "What's so great about these books, I'll sort them out in a few days, I'd better sit down and let me paint! "Jiang Lin ran over, snatched the book from Jiang Yanrong's hand, threw it on the desk, and pushed Jiang Yanrong into the chair.

"Don't mess around, Xiaolin!" Jiang Yanrong shouted, a little annoyed. "You asked me to draw a portrait before I asked you to clean it up, otherwise I wouldn't let you clean it up!" Jiang Lin said stubbornly, stopped in front of the bookshelf, tilted his head and looked at Jiang Yanrong. "I'm going to be angry if you make trouble again!" Jiang Yanrong shouted: "There is a reason to force people to paint your portrait! You won't go to Yanruo!" "If Yan Yan won't let me paint!" "I won't let you paint either!" Jiang Yanrong said angrily.

"I just want to draw you. If you don't let me draw, I won't let you clean it up!" Jiang Lin leaned on the bookshelf, feeling a little embarrassed and angry. "What are you doing? If you don't go away, I'll call my mother!" "Call mom!" Jiang Lin smiled contemptuously: "Mom doesn't care!" "Are you going?" Jiang Yanrong pushed his body and shouted angrily. "Okay, I'll go, don't regret it!" Jiang Lin suddenly stepped aside and walked out of the room, but made a malicious face at Jiang Yanrong. Jiang Yanrong continued to tidy up her bookshelves, and finally she was done. She looked at the cutely packaged books with satisfaction, and stared at the authors' names with admiration. "One day, I will also write a book." She thought, picked up a copy of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, flipped through it casually, and indulged in her own fantasy.Jiang Lin walked in again, holding a plastic paper bag full of water in his hand. He glanced at the smiling and pensive elder sister, then rushed to the bookshelf by surprise, and dumped the bag of water on top of the bookshelf. .Jiang Yanrong yelled, and hurriedly tried to rescue those books, but it was too late, the books were already submerged in water.Jiang Yanrong grabbed Jiang Lin by the collar, trembling with anger, this kind of prank was too much, she yelled, "Xiao Lin, what are you doing?" She picked up the dripping paper bag , Throwing it in Jiang Lin's face.Jiang Lin immediately grabbed Jiang Yanrong's wrist with his backhand and turned it around with boyish strength. Jiang Yanrong screamed and hit Jiang Lin's back with his other hand desperately, hoping that he could relax himself.This fight immediately drew Jiang Yangzhi over. He saw Jiang Lin and Jiang Yanrong entangled at a glance, and Jiang Yanrong was beating Jiang Lin, so he shouted angrily:

"Yan Rong! Why are you beating your brother?" Jiang Lin immediately let go of his hand and slipped away vigilantly.Jiang Yanrong was so angry that she said bitterly, "Father, you don't know Xiaolin..." "Stop talking," Jiang Yangzhi interrupted her: "Girls aged eighteen or nine are not well-behaved, and even fight with your younger brother. You are not shy. There are guests at home, which makes people hear a lot of jokes." !" Jiang Yanrong stopped talking sullenly, and sat in the chair blankly, looking at the dripping books and the water all over the floor.Jiang Yangzhi returned to the living room, and Jiang Yanrong vaguely heard Jiang Yangzhi sighing to the guests, saying how difficult the child was to discipline.She bit her lip, so wronged that she wanted to cry. "Nothing goes right," she thought, going to the window.Jiang Lin had already slipped into the yard, where he was doing carpentry. He looked up at Jiang Yanrong, raised his eyebrows, and made a victorious grimace.Jiang Yanrong watched him silently, such a big boy was so naughty, his nature was good, but his father was too used to him.Just as he was thinking about it, Jiang Lin let out a groan, and Jiang Yanrong saw that the knife had pierced his finger, and blood was coming out.Thinking that he was so complacent just now, now he is filled with joy and sorrow!She couldn't help smiling.Seeing her laughing, Jiang Lin said angrily, "Don't laugh!" After speaking, he left the carpenter and ran to the front living room. Immediately, Jiang Yanrong heard Jiang Yangzhi's nervous cry, and Mrs. Jiang the sound of:

"How did you do it? So much blood? Get red potion and cotton!" "My sister bit me!" Jiang Lin's voice came over. "What? It's unreasonable! Why did Yanrong bite my younger brother!" Jiang Yangzhi yelled angrily, and then said to the guests: "Look, is my daughter still decent? She is eighteen years old, no Can study, can only fight!" Jiang Yanrong listened in astonishment, and wanted to rush to the living room to explain.But then I thought, why bother arguing with Jiang Lin in front of a guest, she is eighteen years old after all, not a child anymore.So, she sat down at the desk again, biting her fingernails sullenly. "She didn't just bite you, did she?" Mrs. Jiang's voice: "Are there any other wounds? This one will become inflamed if you don't sterilize it. Hurry up and check for other wounds." Jiang Yanrong put her head on the table, suddenly Longing to cry. "They don't like me, no one likes me!" She scratched the table with her fingers, and there seemed to be a lump in her throat. "Father likes Xiaolin, mother likes Yanruo, my life is superfluous." Her eyes fixed on the tatami, where lay her copy of Anna Karenina, the book had been torn during the fight just now up.She leaned over to pick it up, sorting out the cover with pity.On the desk, there was a lamp decorated with a white porcelain cherub. She put her head close to the lamp, stared at the cherub, and said in a low voice, "Tell me, you! Do you love me?"

The guests dispersed, Jiang Yanrong found Mrs. Jiang, and began to tell Jiang Lin's lies.Mrs. Jiang asked Jiang Yanrong to serve lunch, and said in a deep voice, "No wonder, I don't think his wound looks like a bite!" Although Mrs. Jiang favors Yanruo, she is extremely fair to the children's disputes.After the lunch was set, everyone sat down to eat. Mrs. Jiang said to Jiang Yangzhi: "When the children are fighting, you should also ask clearly. Xiao Lin was not bitten by Yan Rong at all. This child has learned to lie. It must be a good thing." Discipline is impossible!"

Hui Yangzhi had always defended his weaknesses, but at this moment, he felt that Mrs. Jiang's accusation of him being unfair in front of the children would be detrimental to his dignity.Moreover, he did see Yan Rong beating Xiao Lin, whether she bit him or not can't just rely on Yan Rong's words.So, without hesitation, he said, "She bit it, I saw her bite it!" "Father!" Jiang Yanrong put down his rice bowl and shouted loudly. "I saw it with my own eyes!" The words had already been spoken, but in order to maintain his dignity, Jiang Yangzhi had no choice but to continue. "Father," Jiang Yanrong's lips trembled, tears rolled in her eyes, she tried her best to press back the lump in her throat, and said choked up: "Father, if you say you saw it with your own eyes, I will have nothing to say. Dad, You didn't speak according to your conscience!"

"Yan Rong!" Mrs. Jiang shouted: "Speak up if you have something to say, is this your attitude towards your father?" "Why did Dad treat me as a daughter? If he treated me as a daughter, he wouldn't help Xiao Lin lie! "Jiang Yanrong shouted angrily, with tears rolling down his cheeks: "I want to please you all, and I try to do my best, but if you don't like me, I've had enough! How can a child have a heart of right and wrong? Why didn’t you love me when you gave birth to me? Why didn’t you treat me like Xiao Lin Yanruo? Xiao Lin bullied me, and my father wronged me, why did you ask me to stay in this family? Go on living? Why did you give birth to me? Why? Why?" Jiang Yanrong yelled loudly, then left the dinner table, returned to her room, threw herself on the bed and cried bitterly.She felt very sad, not only because of her father wronged her, but also because of the ruthlessness shown by this act of her father.

Jiang Yangzhi was a little stunned by Jiang Yanrong's series of words. This child blatantly contradicted his father. His father really has no dignity at all.He looked at Mrs. Jiang, who was very silent.Yan Ruo stared at his father, but there was disapproval in his eyes.He was a little bit remorseful about the casually said "saw it with his own eyes", but he couldn't express his remorse.He wanted to say a few words easily, to cover up his uneasiness, and to relax the air on the dining table, so he smiled without thinking and said, "Come on! Let's eat, leave her alone, let her cry, this cry at least It will take three hours!" After saying this, Jiang Yanrong stopped crying.Hearing this, she sat up from the bed and made her cry!Leave her alone!Yes, she cried to death, who cares?She smiled sadly at herself, stood up, walked to the window, stared at the white clouds and blue sky outside the window in a daze.What is real in life?She pursues the love of her parents, but her parents don't love her! "Can't I live without their love?" Suddenly, she had a new understanding of herself, an emotional child who longed for someone to love her. "I will never get what I want, this world is not suitable for me to survive." She wiped away the tears, and suddenly felt empty in her heart.She recited softly: "Bodhi does not have a tree, and a bright mirror is not a stand. There is nothing in the first place, so where is the dust?" This is Huineng, the sixth patriarch of the Southern School of Buddhism, who refuted the verse said by Shenxiu, "The body is like a bodhi tree, and the heart is like a mirror stand. I wish to wipe it diligently so that it will not be stained with dust".Jiang Yanrong himself didn't understand why he read these few words out, he just felt that life was completely empty, and it was ridiculous to pursue anything.She walked out of the room, stood at the door of the dining room, looked at Jiang Yangzhi, and felt that the house was completely cold, so she walked through the living room and walked to the street.She was wandering aimlessly on the street. Cars and pedestrians passed by her, and she stopped. "Where am I going?" she asked herself, feeling at a loss, and then she realized that she had nowhere to go.She continued to walk aimlessly, wondering what the crowds were so busy doing.In a corner, she saw an old beggar sitting on the ground with a small basin in front of him.She threw fifty cents in and thought to herself that she was not much different from this beggar.The beggar was begging for money from people with a basin, and he was also holding a basin to beg for love from his parents.The difference is that someone threw money into the beggar's basin, but his own basin was empty. "I'm more pitiful than him." She walked away silently. She didn't know how long she walked, and finally, she noticed that the lights in every house were on.Feeling hungry, she remembered that she didn't have lunch or dinner today, and she had been walking on the street for six hours.In her pocket, she luckily found a few dollars left.Walking into a snack bar, she ate a bowl of noodles, and then walked out again.Looking in the direction, she found that it was not far from Zhou Ya'an's home, so she walked over there. Zhou Ya'an received Jiang Yanrong in surprise.She lives with her mother in a small Japanese-style house that her father gave them.There are only three rooms in total, a living room, a bedroom, and a dining room.It is enough for mother and daughter to live together.Zhou Ya'an asked Jiang Yanrong to sit in a chair in the living room and stared at her for a while. "What happened? Your complexion is not very good." Zhou Ya'an said. "It's nothing, it's just a trivial matter. My brother and I had a fight, and my father favored my brother." Jiang Yanrong said lightly. "It's such a small thing, it happens to every family." "Yes, a small matter." Jiang Yanrong said softly. Zhou Ya'an looked at her. "You're not right, Jiang Yanrong, don't be sad, your father cares about you, what about my father?" Zhou Ya'an said while holding Jiang Yanrong's hand. "Don't comfort me!" Jiang Yanrong shouted, and immediately began to cry.Zhou Ya'an hugged her head on his lap and patted her on the shoulder. "Yanrong, don't cry, Yanrong." She can't persuade others, she can only say these two sentences repeatedly. "You make me cry! Let me cry well!" Jiang Yanrong said, and burst into tears.Zhou Ya'an put his arms around her head and stopped persuading her.Jiang Yanrong cried more and more, and cried for half an hour before slowly stopping.As soon as she stopped crying, she heard another twitching sound, she looked up, and Zhou Ya'an was covering her face with a handkerchief, also crying heartbroken.Jiang Yanrong said in surprise: "Why are you crying?" "Let me cry too!" Zhou Ya'an sobbed and said, "I have more things to cry about than you!" He patted Zhou Ya'an's knee and said, "Okay, Zhou Ya'an, when your mother heard that she thought we were crazy!" Zhou Ya'an stopped crying, and they held hands and sat cuddled for a while.Jiang Yanrong said in a low voice: "Zhou Ya'an, you really look like my sister." "Just treat me as your sister!" Zhou Ya'an said, she was two years older than Jiang Yanrong. "Do you like me?" Jiang Yanrong asked. "Of course." Zhou Ya'an held her hand tightly. "Zhou Ya'an, I want to hear you play the guitar." Zhou Ya'an took down the guitar from the wall, played a few notes lightly, and then played a little song.While playing, she sang softly, her voice was deep and magnetic.Here is a sad love song: "Give the tear-stained note to the traveling water. When it flows to your house, let it touch your heartstrings. I once asked the swallow who returned to the south to bring you news, and it wept for my fate. , I hope it's a dream without support." The singing stopped, and Zhou Ya'an fiddled with the same tune again, with tears in his eyes blurred.Jiang Yanrong said: "Don't sing this, sing that song of ours." The so-called "our song" is the lyrics written by Jiang Yanrong and the score written by Zhou Ya'an.Zhou Ya'an started playing, and they sang softly together: "Life is sad, the world is cold, and the future is boundless. Drops of tears, strands of tenderness, even more infinitely miserable. Filled with green wine, temporarily go to the drunken country, don't know that I am crazy. Laughter today, sad tomorrow, the world is impermanent! " Here's the first paragraph, then the second: "At the end of the world, duckweeds gather together, and it's rare to meet a bosom friend. Singing in front of the mountain, whispering by the water, revealing my melancholy to each other. The sad wind last night, the bitter rain tonight, it's hard to predict the gathering and parting. We know each other, love each other deeply, and we will marry Jin Ranqi forever! " After singing, they looked at each other and smiled silently.Jiang Yanrong felt a lot more refreshed in her heart, and all the unhappiness of the day was wiped away by this crying and laughing.They played some more songs, and sang some more songs, and the sadness became cheerful.Then, Zhou Ya'an put away the guitar.Jiang Yanrong stood up and said: "I should go back!" "Are you calm?" Zhou Ya'an asked. "I figured it out. From today onwards, I will ignore my father and my younger brother. One of them doesn't treat me as a daughter, and the other doesn't treat me as a sister. I don't want to be their daughter or sister anymore!" Jiang Yanrong Say. "You still haven't figured it out!" Zhou Ya'an said with a smile: "Okay, go back quickly, it's getting late!" Jiang Yanrong went to the entrance to put on his shoes, stood at the door and said: "I also want to ask you, are you still sad? For Xiao Xu?" "Just like you, I can't figure it out!" Zhou Ya'an said, smiling wryly. Walking out of Zhou Ya'an's house, it was already late at night.The sky is full of stars, and a first-quarter moon hangs alone in the sky.The night wind blew over, carrying the coolness of early winter.She tightened the hem of her black coat, and walked towards the house under the moonlight.Her walk was slow and slack, and she would hate to come home if she had somewhere to go, but she had nowhere to go.With 120,000 degrees of reluctance, she returned home, and it was Jiang Yanruo who opened the door for her, and she walked in silently.Jiang Yangzhi was still awake, writing an academic work in the living room.He raised his head and looked at Jiang Yanrong, but Jiang Yanrong walked over without seeing him.She neither looked up at him nor paid any attention to him, and in her heart, burning with a strong flame of resentment, she said to herself: "Father is neither like father nor like daughter!" Returning to her room, she Lying on the bed, he said in a low voice: "I can love with all my heart and not hold anything back, but if I encounter setbacks, I will also hate with all my heart! Dad, you have rejected my love, don't blame me From now on, I will not treat you as my father!" A week later, Jiang Yanrong was like a plaster statue at home, and she made a silent resistance with stubborn indifference.Jiang Yangzhi was humorous and optimistic by nature. Although he protected himself from this incident, he didn't think it was serious.For Yan Rong, he also has a father's love. He thinks that the child and the parents will vomit, and at most one or two days will pass.However, Jiang Yanrong's prolonged nausea surprised him, she avoided Jiang Yangzhi, and did not speak to Jiang Yangzhi.Coming home from school, she passed Jiang Yangzhi without saying hello.Jiang Yangzhi gradually felt uneasy and angry, but his daughter didn't talk to him, what is this?Even when he asked her to do something, she ignored it. Is this the attitude of a child?It was dinner time, Jiang Yangzhi looked at Jiang Yanrong who was sitting across from him, silently paddling rice, and the more he thought about it, the more angry he became.Jiang Yangzhi doesn't lose his temper easily, but once he loses his temper, he can't control it.He suppressed his anger and wanted to talk to Jiang Yanrong. "Yanrong!" Jiang Yanrong lowered his eyes, staring at the rice bowl, stubbornly refusing to agree. "Yanrong!" Jiang Yangzhi raised his voice and shouted. Jiang Yanrong was struggling in her heart, rationality told her to answer her father's cry, but her natural stubbornness closed her mouth. "Did you hear me calling you?" Jiang Yangzhi asked angrily. "I heard it!" Jiang Yanrong replied coldly. Anger rose from Jiang Yangzhi's heart, and he could no longer control his anger. With a sound of "snap!", he slapped the table, causing the dishes to jump up.Then, faster than lightning, he raised a rice bowl and threw it at Jiang Yanrong's head.Jiang Yanrong froze for a moment, but didn't move his position, but Jiang Yangzhi didn't aim in his anger, but the rice bowl fell right on the head of Yan Ruo who was sitting next to Yanrong.Jiang Yanrong jumped up, trying to save her sister, but it was too late.Amid Yan Ruo's loud cries and Mrs. Jiang's screams, Jiang Yanrong could only see the blood on Yan Ruo's face.Her blood vessels froze, as if ten thousand knives had been cut into her heart, she no longer knew what was going on, and just stood there stiffened.Mrs. Jiang sent Yan Ruo to the hospital, but she was still standing there, without emotion, thought, or consciousness. Her world had been shattered into pieces in an instant, and she herself had already been shattered into thousands of pieces. sliced.