Chapter 4 Section 4

The classroom was quiet, more than fifty girls were all raising their heads, listening to the book quietly.This lesson is about Du Mu's "A Fang Gong Fu", a very beautiful article with a lot of text.For many Taiwanese students, this article is obviously a bit deeper, and Kang Nan must try to translate it in vernacular and explain it repeatedly.At this time, he was talking about "Concubine Qiang, prince and grandson, resigned from the downstairs hall, and came to Qin Dynasty; Chaoge Yexian, a native of Qin Palace..." Suddenly, a sound of "Bump!" All the classmates were taken aback, and Kang Nan was also taken aback.Tracking down the source of the sound, he saw that Cheng Xinwen, who was sitting in the second row, was dozing off with her head on one hand. She probably slipped her elbow and knocked a book to the floor, which made the noise.Cheng Xinwen has long been known for dozing off in class, no matter what class she is in, she has to sleep, but after class, her energy is fully restored.Kang Nan looked at his watch, there were still five minutes to finish class, it was already the fourth quarter in the morning, no wonder the students were not in good spirits.These children are really pitiful. All kinds of homework are pressing them down. The school is afraid that the enrollment rate will be lower than that of other schools, and it will try to force their homework to increase.Yesterday, the academic affairs meeting was held, and it was decided to teach them the Four Books, one lesson after the flag was lowered every day.The principal thought that the school's Chinese level was poor, and he also asked the students to keep a diary and submit it once a week.If every kind of homework is to be done, these children will probably have to stay up all night.Kang Nan closed the book and decided not to speak for the next five minutes.He smiled and said: "I see you are all very tired. If I continue talking, I'm afraid another book will fall to the ground!" The students all laughed, but Cheng Xinwen was still nodding her head and dozing off. None of this was heard.Kang Nan noticed that Jiang Yanrong was pushing Cheng Xinwen, so Cheng Xinwen woke up suddenly, opened her eyes dimly, and said loudly:

"What's the matter?" The whole class laughed again.Connan couldn't help laughing too.He reported: "Yesterday we held a school meeting and decided to start tutoring the Four Books from tomorrow. Tomorrow, please bring the Four Books. We will talk about Mencius first, and then the Analects, because Mencius is relatively shallow. In addition, you are required to hand in your diary. This point , I think you are already quite busy, adding this burden is a bit too much, and the diary handed in must be perfunctory and sloppy. So, I leave it to your freedom, hand in what you want, and hand in what you don’t It's not too much. Now, there are still five minutes to finish class, if you have any questions, you can ask them."

The students began to talk, and the silence in the classroom was broken.Kang Nan paced on the podium, waiting for students to ask questions.He scanned the whole room aimlessly, so he came into contact with a pair of soft and melancholy eyes, this is Jiang Yanrong, but when Kang Nan went to pay attention to her, these eyes slipped away quietly again. "A strange girl." Connan thought.Most of the semester has passed, and Kang Nan has a general understanding of the personalities and tempers of the whole class, only Jiang Yanrong is still a mystery.Her lonely and helpless expression always moved him inexplicably, those quiet and trance eyes, that loneliness and that melancholy, that pale and delicate face... There must be something buried in this girl's heart, he can almost see it The invisible load on her mind.However, she never confides some troubles to the tutor like other students.She also often comes to his room, sometimes for class matters, sometimes to accompany Cheng Xinwen, Cheng Xinwen always has some messy things to ask him, and sometimes to accompany Ye Xiaozhen.Every time she came, she was not alone, she seldom spoke when she came, and quietly left when things were over.However, every time she came, she seemed to bring something, and every time she left, she seemed to take something away. Kang Nan couldn't explain this emotion, and he didn't understand why he cared so much for this thin girl. "A strange girl." Kang Nan thought like this every time he saw her, and he couldn't tell why the strangeness was there.

The call for the end of get out of class sounded, and after the monitor ordered "Stand up! Salute! Sit down!", the fifty or so students immediately started chirping like a flock of birds released from their cages.The classroom was full of students running back and forth, Ye Xiaozhen was loudly asking for the number one comrade, because no one was going, she forced Jiang Yanrong to go with her.Cheng Xinwen, who had been dozing off just now, jumped on the chair and shouted, "Who should carry the bento?" The classroom was in chaos, and Kang Nan couldn't help but be surprised by the energy of the children.

Walking out of the classroom, Kang Nan walked downstairs, and a student behind him shouted: "Teacher!" He turned his head, and it was Li Yan, the class monitor, who was holding a large stack of weekly notebooks. He took the weekly notebooks, went downstairs, and returned to the single dormitory.It's noon, and all the single teachers are at school for lunch.Putting the diary on the table and washing his face, he was ready to go to the restaurant for dinner.However, after hesitating for a while, he pulled out Jiang Yanrong's book from the stack of weekly diaries, and opened it while standing in front of the table.The weekly diary is a must for students to hand in. There is one page per week, and each page is divided into four columns, including "life review", "learning experience", "big events of the week", and "free record", which will be reviewed by the tutor.Jiang Yanrong always wrote along the pen habitually, completely ignoring the titles of the columns. Kang Nan saw that it read:

"Eighteen years old, what a wonderful age! Today is my eighteenth birthday. In the morning, my mother said to me: 'Long live a hundred years!' I smiled, but I didn't want to live a hundred years in my heart. Many writers and poets Celebrating eighteen, it's an age of dreaming, and I also have my head full of poor dreams, and I say 'poor' because those dreams are so simple, but they can never come true. For example, I hope to be like my little white cat Same, lie on the grass in the yard shelter. Then grab a copy of Turgenev, or Tolstoy, or Dickens, or Hardy, or Maugham...ah! Too many names, I mean whatever Those writers are good. Take a novel of theirs and read it quietly and calmly. You don’t need to think about how much homework you have yet to do, and you don’t need to think about college entrance exams. But, I really do that Dad would say, "What's the point of lying down like this?" Mom would say, "You're not ready for college, are you?" There are too many 'responsibilities' in life! Am I living for myself? Poor Eighteen years old! Eighteen years old surrounded by voltage resistance and Newton's law! If I can have a wish on my birthday, my wish is: 'Eighteen years younger than now!'”

Kang Nan put down this weekly diary, pondered for a while, and then pulled out Cheng Xinwen's one, so he saw the following record: "Life review: I am a bastard after going to bed after class! However, it is much easier to be a bastard than not to sleep." Learning experience: Jiang Yanrong said that algebra is like a plate of bitter melon, which cannot be swallowed.I said it was like a plate of burnt bread. If you don’t eat it, you will be hungry. Eat it, but you really can’t eat it. "One week event: forgot to read the newspaper, can't record, sorry. "Freedom to record: Ye Xiaozhen announced that she has broken up with me again, but I am tolerant, so when she forgot to invite me to eat popsicles, I completely accepted it, and I deserve a big credit for myself. I have done a half-semester discipline Section Chief, I think Cheng Xinwen is the most obedient in the class, but the Discipline Office disagrees."

Kang Nan put down his notebook and went to the restaurant to have lunch, still thinking about these two completely different students. The melancholy and quiet of one was in contrast to the lively and optimistic of the other, but they were good friends.He suddenly doubted the current education system. These children are lovely, but heavy homework restricts them.Like Jiang Yanrong, this is one of the most talented students he has ever taught. Every time he writes a composition, he writes it with pen and ink, eloquently, fresh and gratifying.But she was oppressed by mathematics and science.Like Cheng Xinwen, those two strokes are worthy of praise, but her homework is also a mess.Ye Xiaozhen prefers liberal arts, Zhou Yaan prefers science.After all, there are not many children with general talents, but high school implements general talents education. Who knows whether this general talents education makes children or destroys them?

In the classroom, the students all got together in threes and fives to eat bento, chatting while eating.Cheng Xinwen, Ye Xiaozhen, and Jiang Yanrong were sitting together, Ye Xiaozhen was complaining to Jiang Yanrong: "My aunt is the worst person in the world, I had a big fight with her yesterday, I really want to move out, It’s unlucky to live in someone else’s house! Teach me how to avenge my auntie?” She lived in her aunt’s house, and her own home was in the south. "What is your aunt most afraid of?" Cheng Xinwen interjected. "Afraid of ghosts." Ye Xiaozhen said. "Then you can pretend to be a ghost to scare her. I'll tell you how to pretend. I once pretended to scare my cousin and made her faint!" Cheng Xinwen said.

"No! I'm also afraid of ghosts. I don't dare to pretend to be ghosts. They say pretending to be ghosts will lure out the real ghosts! I won't do that!" Ye Xiaozhen said, shrinking her head, as if she had already lured the real ghosts out like. "Tell you, write an anonymous letter to scold her." Jiang Yanrong said. "What are you scolding her for?" Ye Xiaozhen asked. "Call her a bastard, a shit, a dead turtle, a big yellow dog, a dumb cat, a stinky parrot, a blind owl, a weasel..." Cheng Xinwen said in a series.Ye Xiaozhen laughed angrily and said:

"Others tell you the truth, you just joke!" "I'll teach you," Cheng Xinwen came up with another idea: "Go and collect a big bag of caterpillars, and quietly sprinkle them on her bed and under her pillow at night, and keep them effective. Haha, great, there must be something good to watch in the morning!" Cheng Xinwen was extremely excited by her method. "Caterpillar, my god!" Ye Xiaozhen called out, "I dare not even touch it, how do you tell me to collect it?" It seems that this revenge is not easy to avenge, but in the end, Ye Xiaozhen came up with it herself. The solution came, she said proudly: "By the way, that day, I am in ambush on the Kawabata Bridge. When she comes, I will catch her, shake her, and throw her from the bridge to the bottom of the bridge!" Almost a piece of clothing.Both Jiang Yanrong and Cheng Xinwen laughed.As for Ye Xiaozhen, since the problem was solved, she stopped frowning and started talking to Cheng Xinwen about the temper and nicknames of the teachers.Jiang Yanrong quickly finished her meal, packed up her lunch box, and announced to Cheng Xinwen and Ye Xiaozhen that she was going to do algebra exercises at noon today, so she would not quarrel with them anymore.Ye Xiaozhen said: "Why do algebra do it? Take mine and copy it, but mine is already a reprint, and I will not be responsible for any mistakes!" "I decided not to copy, but to do it myself!" Jiang Yanrong said. "Let her do it herself!" Cheng Xinwen said to Ye Xiaozhen: "If you can't do it later, you will lose your temper with yourself with tears in your eyes, but you will still copy someone else's!" Jiang Yanrong didn't speak, took out the book and exercise book, and really concentrated on the book.Ye Xiaozhen and Cheng Xinwen still talked about them, Cheng Xinwen said: "I'm most afraid of going into Kangnan's room, as soon as I enter it smells like cigarettes, I've never seen someone who likes smoking so much!" "But you often go to Kangnan's place!" Ye Xiaozhen said. "Because it's nice to chat with Kangnan, and he's willing to listen to people, and he'll give you an idea if you tell him anything. However, his cigarettes are really annoying!" "Some people say that Jiang Nai has lung disease!" Ye Xiaozhen mentioned another teacher. "He's so thin, he might have lung disease," Cheng Xinwen said, "It's really fun for him to explain books, I'll teach you how to read!" She jumped onto the chair, sat on the table, and took off Li Yan's glasses in the row behind her. He got down and yelled: "Borrow it!" He put his glasses on the bridge of his nose, frowned, looked at his classmates through the glasses, coughed first, and then lowered his voice and said, "Students, do you feel hurt? Does it hurt? If you don’t feel the pain, Jiang Nai will be at a disadvantage!” Ye Xiaozhen laughed loudly, and beat Cheng Xinwen desperately with her hands, saying, “How did you learn it? You learned it so well!” The students sitting nearby all laughed stand up.It turned out that the mandarin of the teacher named Jiang Nai was not very standard. He meant to say: "Do you understand? If you don't understand, you will suffer in the future!" Jiang Nai will be at a disadvantage." Cheng Xinwen held back her smile, with a straight face, and said seriously: "Don't laugh, those who don't feel pain raise their hands!" Everyone laughed again, Jiang Yanrong put down his pen, sighed and said: "Cheng Xinwen, you're making such a fuss, I can't think about it!" "Even if I don't make trouble, you can't figure it out," Cheng Xinwen said, holding Jiang Yanrong and saying, "Don't do it, people who don't rest at noon are fools!" "Let me be a fool!" Jiang Yanrong said pitifully. Zhou Ya'an came from behind and patted Jiang Yanrong's shoulder with his hand. Jiang Yanrong raised his head and saw Zhou Ya'an's big gloomy eyes and cold expressionless face.Zhou Ya'an looked at the door of the classroom, Jiang Yanrong put away the books and notebooks knowingly, stood up, Cheng Xinwen grabbed Jiang Yanrong and said: "What, you want to run? After all, Zhou Ya'an is better than us! Why don't you do algebra exercises?" "Don't make trouble, we have something to do." Jiang Yanrong got rid of Cheng Xinwen, and walked out of the classroom with Zhou Ya'an.They walked down the stairs silently, and walked to the lotus pond on the campus without a word.Jiang Yanrong walked onto the small bridge and leaned on the railing to look at the yellowed lotus leaves in the water. The lotus has already withered, and it is now the end of autumn and the beginning of winter.Zhou Ya'an picked a chrysanthemum and came over, leaned on the railing, crushed the chrysanthemum, and let the petals fall into the pool from between his fingers.Jiang Yanrong said: "Sin!" "It grows in the corner over there, and no one pays attention to it at all. Instead of letting it wither lonely, it is better to let it drift with the water like this." "Okay," Jiang Yanrong smiled: "You have learned everything about me." "Jiang Yanrong," Zhou Ya'an said slowly, "he has changed his mind, he has another girlfriend!" Jiang Yanrong turned to look at Zhou Ya'an, Zhou Ya'an's expression was abnormally calm, but his eyes were burning with fire . "How do you know?" Jiang Yanrong asked. "My uncle saw them in the street." Jiang Yanrong was silent in thought, and then asked: "What are you going to do?" "I want to kill him!" Zhou Ya'an whispered. Jiang Yanrong looked at her and put his hand on hers: "Zhou Ya'an, he's not worth your knife!" Zhou Yaan looked at Jiang Yanrong steadily, with tears in his eyes, Jiang Yanrong said anxiously: "Zhou Yaan, you are not allowed to cry, you are so tall and stubborn, you cannot cry, I don't want to see you cry." Zhou Ya'an turned her head away and bit her lip. "I won't cry," she said, "At least, I won't cry yet." She took Jiang Yanrong's hand and said, "Come on, let's go to Kang Nan, I heard he can read palms, I want Let him take a look and see what is written in my hand?" "You won't have Xiao Xu's name in your hand, I promise." Jiang Yanrong said: "You'd better forget about this person and everything about this person. This love is only a small part of your life, not all of it. It can be concluded that you will have a second love in the future. You will meet someone who really loves you." "You shouldn't use these high-sounding words to persuade me," Zhou Ya'an said, "You are the only one who understands the meaning of this relationship to me. You should know that your words are of no help to me." "But," Jiang Yanrong looked at Zhou Ya'an's stubborn and cold face: "How can I persuade you? Tell me, Zhou Ya'an, how can I share your distress?" Zhou Ya'an held Jiang Yanrong's hand tightly, and in an instant, she had the urge to hug her.She looked at Jiang Yanrong's warm and caring eyes, her sincere and frank face and said, "Jiang Yanrong, you are so kind." Jiang Yanrong turned her head away and said, "You are the first person to say good things about me," her voice said A little choked, and then pulled her and said: "Let's go! Let's talk to Kang Nan, whether he really knows palm reading or not, he is indeed a good teacher." Kang Nan sat in his small room, the cigarette ash on the table The dish was full of cigarette butts, and Jiang Yanrong's weekly diary was placed in front of him.He has read it several times and wants to make some proper comments, but he doesn't know what to criticize.He didn't know how to cheer up this melancholy girl, tired of life at eighteen, simply because of the boredom of schoolwork?He felt unable to get to know this child, "a strange girl." It was the old saying again, but, "a lovable girl." He lit up a cigarette again, and smoked it between the diary and himself. Create a cloud of smoke. Someone knocked on the door, Kang Nan stood up and opened the door.Jiang Yanrong and Zhou Ya'an stood outside the door, Kang Nan felt a little surprised, he called them in and closed the door.Zhou Ya'an said: "Let's find the teacher to read palms!" Kang Nan was even more surprised. Originally, he had studied palmistry for a period of time, and he could roughly read it.Last semester, he had shown palmistry to several students, but Zhou Ya'an and the others knew that he could read palmistry.He was a little stunned, then smiled and said: "Palmistry is inaccurate. Anyone who reads palmistry is three-point real skill plus seven-point nonsense, plus some ambiguous quack talk. This is unbelievable." "It doesn't matter, the teacher just said that Just tell the truth." Zhou Ya'an said, holding out his hand.From the looks of it, this palmistry is a must.Kang Nan asked Zhou Ya'an to sit down, so he had no choice but to study that hand.It was a thin, bony hand, an athletic hand.Jiang Yanrong browsed the room aimlessly. There was a piece of ink plum on the wall. "He is versatile," Jiang Yanrong thought, she knew that Kang Nan could paint and carve.As for calligraphy, he is an expert no matter in cursive, official or seal script.Jiang Yanrong walked to the front of the desk, and when she saw her open weekly diary, her face suddenly turned red.She noticed that the notebooks of the whole class hadn't been touched, so he took out her notebook and read it first. Why did he do this?She sneaked a look at him, and immediately found that he was also paying attention to herself.She turned her gaze back to an inkstone on the table.This is a very delicately carved stone inkstone. The inkstone is oval, with a plantain carved on one side and many cloud hooks on the top.A piece was broken in the upper right corner of the inkstone, and a moon was engraved on the broken piece. Next to the moon, there were four small characters engraved: "The cloud breaks through the moon."Jiang Yanrong felt that these four words were a bit inexplicable. If they were taken from the meaning of the phrase "clouds break through the moon and flowers make shadows", then there are no flowers on the inkstone.She couldn't help picking up the inkstone and carefully admiring it.Kang Nan was looking at Zhou Ya'an's hand, but he also noticed that Jiang Yanrong picked up the inkstone and the confused expression on her face.So he smiled and said: "There were only clouds on the inkstone, but no moon. One day, I accidentally broke a piece of the cloud, and I carved a moon on it. Isn't this the standard 'cloud breaks the moon'?" Jiang Yanrong smiled, and put Put the inkstone back in place.She looked at Kang Nan secretly, wondering how such a deep man would act naughty.Kang Nan held Zhou Ya'an's finger and began to say: "Look at your hands. You have a very strong personality, but you are full of emotions. You are not easy to be understood by others, and it is not easy to understand others. You are self-willed and conceited. But you are introverted, and you rarely confide in others. On the outside, you are an optimistic, athletic person, but in fact, you are pessimistic and withdrawn. Isn't it?" "Exactly." Zhou Ya'an said. "Your lifeline is very complicated, and it was chaotic at the beginning. Don't you have more than one mother? Or, more than one father?" "Oh," Zhou Ya'an swallowed, "I have several mothers." She said softly.In fact, her mother is like an abandoned woman. Her father was originally a rich businessman who married four or five wives. Zhou Yaan's mother is one of them, and now she has separated from her father.The only relationship she has with her father is money, and her father is still raising them, which isn't too heartless in that regard. "You will be sick in your later years, and you will have a very happy family in the future." Kang Nan said, smiling. "The emotional line is also very messy, which proves that there are many emotional twists and turns. This is a matter for the future, so let's not talk about it." "Say it, teacher." "Probably you will change several boyfriends. Anyway, you will be happy in the end." Connan almost stopped his words. "Teacher, will I be admitted to university?" Zhou Ya'an asked. "It won't be so detailed in the palmistry," Kang Nan said, "but your career line is very good, and it should be smooth sailing." "Teacher, it's my turn." Jiang Yanrong stretched out her hand, but her face was inexplicably blushing.Kang Nan looked at the hand in front of him, such delicate skin, such slender fingers, an artist's hand.Kang Nan glanced at the owner of this hand, and her shyness was immediately transmitted to him. For some reason, he felt a little nervous.Gently holding her finger, he was going to examine it carefully.However, just as he touched her hand, she jumped slightly like an electric shock, and he also shook suddenly.Her fingers are cold.He looked at her, it was already cold, but she was very thinly dressed. "She's wearing too little clothes!" He thought, and suddenly had an urge to hold this cold little hand and share some of his body heat with her.Realizing the absurdity of his idea, his uneasiness deepened.He glanced at her again, the blush on her face was extremely cute, there was a bit of panic and timidity in her soft eyes, she was staring at him blankly, her little hand was stretched out passively, and her fingers were gently in his hand. trembling.He lowered his head to look at the lines in her hand, but all the lines in that white palm floated before his eyes. It took a long time before he could recognize her lines, but he didn't know what to say, he could hardly see what was in the palm.He changed his target to look at her face. The broad forehead represented wisdom, and the eyes had dreams, fantasies, and confusion.For the rest, he could no longer see, he felt strangely confused about his emotions.After a long time, he settled down and met Jiang Yanrong's gentle, waiting eyes, so he looked at her hand again: "You have a very strange emotional line, I'm afraid you will suffer some hardships in the future," he looked up at her face, and said with a smile: "Too much emotion is distressing, and you have to open up your mind to be happy." The expression on Jiang Yanrong's face The blush deepened, and he wondered why he said these two sentences.Looking at her hand again, he continued solemnly: "You probably had a rough childhood and suffered a lot. You have less than three sisters and brothers. Your luck will not improve until you are twenty-five years old." , after the age of twenty-five, you will be stable and happy. However, I don’t think the fleeting time is very accurate. Twenty-five is just an approximate age. Your health is not very good, but you are not too bad. You have a strong personality and a tough temper. But it is very emotional. It is not easy for you to like others, and it is not easy to change if you like it. These are your advantages and also your shortcomings. I am afraid that you will suffer a lot of sins on this in the future. Old luck is very good, and you will enjoy your children in the future Blessing, but you will never have money in your life. The career line runs through the wisdom line, and there is a square pattern in the center of the hand, and you may become famous in the future." He raised his head and let go of this hand: "My ability is limited, I think Nothing more." Jiang Yanrong withdrew her hand, the slight shyness still there.She glanced at Kang Nan, his deep eyes were a little restless, she sensitively guessed what he saw in her hand, but kept it secret. "No one can predict their own fate." She thought, and then said with a smile: "Teacher, have you read your palm too?" Connan smiled wryly. "I don't need to look any further. Life is coming to an end, and everything that should happen should have happened. From now on, I just hope to live in peace." "Of course you will live in peace," Zhou Ya'an said, "You have always been a teacher, and life will always be like this." "However, we can't predict our fate," Kang Nan looked at his hand, holding it in his hand. A line was drawn in the center with a red pen: "I don't know what else fate will give me? I just said that I hope to be at peace." "Your tone seems to predict that you will not be able to calm down." Jiang Yanrong said. "I don't predict anything," Kang Nan smiled slightly, with a deep arc around his mouth. "Those who should come will definitely come, and those who shouldn't come will definitely not come." "You seem to be speaking in a cryptic language," Jiang Yanrong said, "Teacher, this should belong to quack dialect, right? In fact, when you showed us palm reading, you said several quack dialects." "Really? What are you talking about?"" You said to Zhou Ya'an: "It's not easy for you to be understood, and it's not easy for you to understand others." You can say this to anyone, and you can't be wrong, because everyone thinks that others don't understand themselves, but understanding others is also true. It's a difficult thing, this kind of statement is not sincere, is it? You said that my health is not very good, but it is not too bad. This is probably not the impression I got from the palmistry, right? And old luck is very good, and I will enjoy my children Fu, these words are too sophisticated, don't you think?" "You are too powerful," Kang Nan said, his face was a little hot. "Fortunately, I'm just a teacher, not a fortune teller." "If you go to the rivers and lakes, you will not fail." Jiang Yanrong said, smiling mischievously. Here, Kang Nan saw another side of her personality.She took out a dime from her pocket, tossed it, took it again and said, "Here, here is a silver coin for you. This is a sentence I learned from a novel. Here, it's just a small nickel. Do you want it?" "Okay," Kang Nan said with a smile, and took it over: "I finally got a small harvest today." Jiang Yanrong smiled and exited Kangnan's room with Zhou Ya'an.Kang Nan closed the door and sat down in the chair, still holding the dime in his hand.He stared at the small nickel unconsciously, his heart was suddenly filled with strange emotions, and he felt extremely uneasy.Lighting up a cigarette, he took a deep puff, filling his face with smoke.However, the smog still couldn't dispel the feeling of bewilderment. He walked to the window and opened the curtains. In the yard outside the window, there were a few branches of bamboo. Bamboo was incomparable with the bamboo in his hometown of Hunan.He still remembered that in the big courtyard of his hometown, there were several plants of red bamboo, with sauce-red stems and sauce-red leaves. Ruosu once used bamboo as a metaphor for him, saying that he was straight but not bent.At that time, he was young, and he was so energetic in everything he did, and he refused to change his mind at all.Now, many years of wandering life and suffering have changed him a lot. He no longer has that kind of drive, and he is no longer so straight and unbending. He has become more sophisticated.Looking at these few bamboos, he suddenly felt a strong nostalgia, and leaning his head on the window rail, he called softly twice: "Ruosu, Ruosu." There is wind outside the window, and there are mountains in the distance.The protruding peaks are connected with the clouds.Ruo Su is really dead?He hadn't seen her die, so he couldn't believe she was dead.If she was really dead, she should be able to hear his call, but for so many years, he has never dreamed of her. "You have been separated from life and death for many years, and the soul has never come to dream." Only now can he deeply understand the grief in these two lines of poems. Back at the desk, he saw Jiang Yanrong's weekly diary again. He closed it and threw it on top of the pile of unmarked notebooks.Eighteen-year-old children, under the love of their parents, write some sad and world-weary words all over the paper.As for him, in his forties, he had experienced life and death, but he had nothing to say.He remembered the words of the predecessors: "Young people don't know how to feel sad, love to go up to the upper floors, love to go to the upper floors, In order to give new words to express sorrow.Now that I have tasted all the sorrow, I want to say it, I want to say it, I want to say it. But it's a cool autumn! "Jiang Yanrong is just the age when teenagers don't know what it means to be sad, and they are forced to express their sorrows in order to write new words. As for him, it's time to "say that the sky is cool and it will be a good autumn". Picking up a pen from the table, he wrote a poem amidst the strong thoughts of his homeland: "In the deep dusk and across the ocean, can you not remember Xiaoxiang? Where is it?Facing the remnant water, facing the remnant mountain, the most desolate, this life is over, there will be no rebirth Come on, it's a waste of thinking! "Yes, there is no evidence for rebirth in this life. It is impossible for him to meet Ruosu again. Ruosu's death has been confirmed. He and Ruosu met in adversity (during the Anti-Japanese War, they were both exiled students). Married in adversity, after victory, lived a peaceful life for three or four years, and separated in adversity. The hasty farewell at the beginning, who knew it would be forever! If he had known she would die, he should have died with her Son, however, he is still attached to his own life here. A man, once he passes middle age, is not as impulsive as he was when he was young. If it was twenty years ago, he would have died in love. Now, life is He was like a cup of bitter wine, although he didn't want to drink it, he didn't want to throw it away easily. Standing up, he walked around the room, then stopped in front of the closet, opened the door, found a small bottle of sorghum wine, He has no classes in the afternoon, and he is not afraid of getting drunk. At this moment, he only longs to be very drunk, and when he gets drunk, he can relieve his worries. Holding the bottle, he drank half of it in one breath. He was able to drink, but he was used to sipping slowly, so he seldom poured it in one breath, and a burst of heat immediately passed through his chest. Knowing that he was in a hurry Alcohol hurt people, he still poured the remaining half bottle into his mouth. Throwing away the bottle, he fell on the bed and said to his pillow: "A man, a man, if he can't protect his wife and children, what kind of man is he?" He fell down on the pillow, wanting to cry.Something rolled out of his cuff, he picked it up, it was a small nickel, Jiang Yanrong's nickel.He threw it away as if he had picked up something hot, and watched the nickel roll to the floor, then to the desk, and then lay there motionless.He turned his head and whispered softly again: "Ruosu, Ruosu." Someone knocked on the door again, annoying.He didn't want to open the door, but he heard an urgent call: "Teacher! Teacher!" Standing up, he opened the door, and Cheng Xinwen, Ye Xiaozhen, and three or four other students rushed in.Cheng Xinwen called out first: "Teacher, you also need to show us the palmistry. Do you think I can get into university? I want to get into the National Taiwan University Law School!" Kang Nan looked at them, his mind was in a mess, and he couldn't figure out what they were doing here.He stared at them blankly, frowning.Cheng Xinwen had already run to the desk, sat down in the chair, and said: "Teacher, don't be partial, you must show us." She took a deep breath and said, "Smell of alcohol, teacher, do you drink and smoke?" Kang Nan smiled wryly, not knowing what to say.Ye Xiaozhen said: "Teacher, just show Jiang Yanrong the palmistry, and show us too!" "Let's read it tomorrow, okay?" Kang Nan said, a little dizzy: "It's almost time for class now." Cheng Xinwen sat down on the table, looked at the poem Kang Nan just wrote, and said: "Teacher, who made this?" "This is nonsense." Kang Nan picked up the piece of paper, crumpled it up, and threw it into the wastebasket.Cheng Xinwen raised her head, glanced at Kang Nan, raised her eyebrows, pulled Ye Xiaozhen and said, "Let's go, come back tomorrow!" Like a gust of wind, they went away together again.Kang Nan closed the door, fell on the bed, and closed his eyes. "What job can be the loneliest and quietest, what job I would like to do." He thought, but then added: "But I can't bear the real loneliness, and I can't ignore the support of the students. I am a layman." He smiled and said to himself Smiling, mocking and contemptuous.Cheng Xinwen and Ye Xiaozhen went upstairs and talked, Cheng Xinwen said: "Kangnan has something on his mind today, I bet he cried, his eyes are still red." "I don't believe it," Ye Xiaozhen said, "He showed Jiang Yanrong's palmistry just now, and he's going to have something on his mind soon! He's just not happy to show us palmistry, huh, partiality! You see, every time he gives Jiang Yanrong There are so many comments on the essays, and so is the Zhou Jiben. It is obviously biased! However, I like Jiang Yanrong, so I will never break up with Jiang Yanrong because of this." "You don't understand," Cheng Xinwen said, "People who study literature are all eccentric. They laugh one minute and cry the next. Their emotions are more sensitive. Anyway, I bet Kang Nan has something on his mind!" After entering the classroom, Jiang Yanrong was sitting on the seat, thinking about something blankly.Cheng Xinwen walked over, patted her on the shoulder and said: "Kangnan is drunk and crying there!" "What?" Jiang Yanrong was shocked. "You bullshit!" "Really, the whole room smells of alcohol. I don't know if he is crying, but his eyes are red and his expression is not very good. There is also a poem written on the table. I don't know what touched him It is!" Cheng Xinwen said. "What's written in the words?" Jiang Yanrong asked. "Kang Nan tore it up, and I only remember three sentences." "Which three sentences?" "What this life... no, what is this life, and what is the next life, it probably means that this life is over, and the next life... Oh, now that I think about it, there is no proof for reincarnation, and what is another sentence... What is thinking, or thinking about something, anyway, it is such a thing." "These are the three sentences you remembered?" Jiang Yanrong asked, frowning. “哎呀，谁有耐心去背他那些酸溜溜的东西！”程心雯说：“他百分之八十又在想他太太。” “他太太？”“你不知道？他太太在大陆，共产党逼她改嫁，她就投水死了，据说康南为这个才喝上酒的。” “哦。”江雁容说，默默的望着手上的英文生字本，但她一个字都没有看进去。她把眼光调回窗外，窗外，远山上顶着白云，蓝天静静的张着，是个美好的午后。但，这世界并不见得十分美好。“每个人有每个人的烦恼，”她想：“生命还是痛苦的。”她用手托住下巴，心中突然有一阵莫名其妙的震荡。“今天不大对头，”她对自己说：“我得到了什么？还是要发生什么？为什么我如此的不平静？”她转过头去看后面的周雅安，后者正伏在桌上假寐。“她也在痛苦中，没有人能帮助她，就像没有人能帮助我。”她沉思，眼睛里闪着一缕奇异的光。