Chapter 21 Chapter 21

He laughed in the dark as I felt his chest vibrate.I leaned against him, what was soft was his belly, what was hard was his muscles. "So that's the smell..." I pinched the cigarette into the ashtray, "It doesn't smell good at all." "Then what do you think it smells like?" I didn't speak, just looked up and kissed him.This was the first time I kissed him willingly, without lust, without motive, just purely wanting to kiss him.The smell of smoke is a bit bitter, but the breath on his body is always cool and fragrant. The smell of that perfume is very light, overwhelmed by the smell of the sea breeze.I hugged him like a koala hugging a tree. His broad chest made me feel very secure.

After a long time, I heard his slightly hoarse voice: "A good girl shouldn't be like this." "What kind of old-fashioned concept are you talking about? You didn't hear in the movie that the post-90s generation are all out to play around. How old am I?" "I mean smoking." "I mean smoking too." I gave him a sideways look contemptuously, since he couldn't see it in the pitch black anyway, "Where did you think?" Instead of bickering with me, he told me with his actions where he was thinking. I woke up in the morning and found myself sleeping on the couch, really alone.I slept so hard that my head and neck became stiff, and all the bones in my body seemed to be falling apart.I'm really old, and it's so uncomfortable to lie on the sofa all night.I got up and went upstairs, only to see that Mo Shaoqian had already packed his luggage.When he saw me standing at the door, he didn't even lift his head: "Let's go to the airport."

It turned out that twelve days had passed. I looked at him in a daze. He had already changed his shirt. Although he didn't wear a tie, he didn't fit in with the casual seaside atmosphere.I finally knew it was over. I always thought that this month would be very long, and until it was all over, I didn't feel that it was as long as I imagined.I don't know what kind of mood I am, relieved?I don't think so, but there is a strange feeling of heaviness, even with some loss.He was easily withdrawn from all this, and I was like an actor who got too deep into the play, and I still can't recover until now.I think I'm probably tired.I've been through a lot these past few months, and I'm really tired.

We returned to the familiar city, and the driver came to pick us up when we got off the plane.The sky was lightly raining, which is rare in late spring in the north. The driver was holding an umbrella and wanted to help us carry our luggage. Mo Shaoqian took the black umbrella and prevented the driver from taking my suitcase.He said to me: "You go back to school." I chose the share of the chemical plant. I have a chemical project, and it happens that I have a lot to talk about. You can just take it and someone else will take care of the rest. " I looked at him, he had no special expression and his tone was light, as if he was talking about something trivial: "The contract is in your suitcase, you give it to Liu Yueying's father, he is an expert, he will know it at a glance."

I stood there in a daze, the rain wet my hair, a huge Boeing plane was taking off, his voice was not clear in the noise.But in the fine rain, his face seemed to become unclear. "Tong Xue, this is the last time." He paused slightly, "I hope you will never look for me again." He turned around and got into the car, the driver took an umbrella, turned the truth around and closed the car door, and the car drove away without a sound.In my field of vision, Maybach gradually faded away.The fine rain is like a gigantic glass curtain, enveloping everything between heaven and earth in a thin light gray water curtain.

I looked at the small suitcase at my feet, the rain was falling, and it was covered with a layer of crystal water droplets. This suitcase was bought for me by Mo Shaofu. He said that it was just right for girls, and it was just right for clothes. As for cosmetics, in fact, Mo Shaofen bought me a lot. In the past three years, I have had the best of everything, in terms of material.I left everything in the apartment and didn't take it away. At that time, I just wanted to get rid of the relationship with him, and I didn't want to have any entanglements with him. I took the Airport Express back to school with my luggage, and I had to change to the subway twice in the middle. It was not the rush hour of traffic, and there were not many people.It was rare to have a seat in the car, so I remembered to call Zhao Xingxing with my mobile phone: "I have signed the contract." "Zhao was not as happy as I imagined, he just said: "Tong Xue, thank you, but I don't need it now. "My heart suddenly tightened, and I asked: What's the matter?" I asked him several times, and he just said: You will know when you come back.

After I got off the subway, I took a taxi back to school, and unexpectedly, Yueying was in the dormitory.As soon as she saw me, she gave me a big hug, patted my back and said, "Where have you been these past few days? Your phone has been turned off. I'm so worried." Because she was afraid that the counselor would find out that I was not in the local area, So when I was at the beach, I turned off my mobile phone. I haven't seen her for more than a month. It seems that Yueying hasn't changed at all.I hugged her in surprise and joy: why are you back? "Don't talk about this first, I just want to eat the grilled fish outside the west gate, and there is no one to accompany me, let's go, hurry up, let's eat grilled fish!" She dragged me to the outside of the west gate, and waited until the delicious grilled fish was on the table. She seemed to be very relaxed and said to me, "I broke up with Zhao Xing." I was so surprised that I even dropped my chopsticks on the table, and asked repeatedly: "Why?": "My dad has liver cancer, and now he is treated conservatively. Liver transplantation is not recommended, it is said that liver transplantation will lead to faster death." I looked at her stupidly.Her tone was flat, as if she was narrating other people's affairs: "My upstart father has been trying to hide it from me. It wasn't until I found out that he was taking medicine that I found out that he had been ill for almost half a year." I held Yue Ying's hand didn't know what to say. "I went home for more than a month and followed him to the office every day. Only then did I realize how tired he was. This kind of tiredness is not to mention physical, it is all kinds of pressure. It is so big, inside and outside the company, I have to worry about everything. Now I know how difficult it is for him. My mother has been dead for six or seven years. I always thought he would marry another woman, so I spent his money desperately. Anyway, if I don’t spend it, there are others Flowers. I'm a prodigal, I'm a waste of money. When he was 20 years old, he asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said I wanted a helicopter, but he sold it to me, me. I told him to stop trying to make money, he said I am working so hard for you. I am just a daughter like you. If I do more things, you may do less in the future. I have been with him for more than a month, and only then did I realize how difficult it is to do business. He is so I am a big boss, and I also have to look at other people's faces. All the conflicts are dealt with. The company's executives are divided into several factions and fight non-stop. There are still people outside who are eager to take a bite. I can't do anything. , I can only stay with him in the office, he said: Good girl, if you want to marry a good man, Dad can rest assured." Not suitable for business. I used to think that no one could separate me and Zhao Gaoxin, but now I finally know that I was born in this environment, and I was doomed to be responsible. The company is my father's lifelong painstaking effort. How can I bear it in my own hands? Lost, he still has at most five years to live. In these three to five years, I have to study hard, learn how to manage, learn how to take over the company. My mother was so discouraged when she died. For me, the most important thing is me and my dad, and for my dad, the most important thing is my career and me. I don’t have a mother anymore, because of my mother I hated my dad, but I don’t want my dad to die So frustrated."

I couldn't think of any words to comfort Yue Ying, she was so sad, but I couldn't do anything.She wept silently, and I wept with her.After a while, Yueying handed me the napkin: "Don't cry, eat fish." The two of us ate grilled fish recklessly, and Yueying said, "I'm going to take the GMAT exam. I want to apply to business school, learn something, and then go back to China and follow my dad for a while. I can learn as much as I can." "Is it easy to apply across majors?" "I don't know, if it doesn't work, just take the money." Yue Ying seemed to relax again, "My upstart father said that the problems in this world that can be solved with money are not problems."

Back in the dormitory, I packed my luggage and took out all my clothes. There was indeed a contract under the box.I squatted there, holding it in a daze involuntarily. Yueying saw it and took it in surprise: "Why are you here?" I didn't make a sound, Yue Ying had turned to the end, and her eyes widened when she saw Mo Shaoqian's signature: "Why did you go to him again?" I looked at this contract, the contract I signed back by betraying my dignity again, and it seems to be useless now. Yueying said: "Who said it's useless? You worked so hard to get it back, and besides, Mo Shaoqian already owes you! I'll take it away, and I'll give you a commission! Don't apply for any loan, just sign this contract." , how much should my upstart father give you!"

She clicked on her mobile phone for a while, showed me a number, and then shook me: "Tong Xue! Tong Xue! With this money, you can even pay for going abroad in the future!" I didn't expect this to be the result. At night I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling with wide open eyes.I didn't expect Yueying to give up on Zhao Gaoxing. In my mind, true love can never be given up, but Yueying's tone was very calm: "I really love him, but I can't even love each other." Solve practical problems. It was very painful when I made the choice, very, very painful. Leaving Zhao Gaoxin, or I will never find someone who can love me like this again, but I can’t give up the business that my dad spent his whole life building. "

From her, I thought of Mo Shaoqian, did he have the same mentality as Yueying when he interrupted his studies and returned to China? Professor Jiang told me that when he got married, Mo Shaoqian said that he would never be happy in this life. Life, so desperate, so long, how could it be possible to make up my mind to sacrifice my life. There was a dull pain in my chest, and when I left Xiaoshan in T City, I also felt that I would never be happy in this life.Only those who have experienced it know what kind of pain it was. I never thought that Mo Shaoqian also experienced such pain. But everything between me and him is over, whether it's the bad relationship or the entanglement, it's all over. Yueying's father was really generous. A few days later, Yueying gave me a bank card: "Your commission." I refused to take it, but Yueying shoved it into my hand angrily: "You are the only one who is stupid! You ran back to find that beast because of me, don't think that I don't know what kind of grievances you have suffered." "There is no grievance." Yue Ying said: "Is Mo Shaoqian willing to sign such a contract casually? Thanks to you, you still dare to go back and look for him, and you are not afraid that he will destroy your bones!" I said: "Don't say that, really, after all, I owe him a lot." Yueying poked my forehead: "You are the most holy mother!" Yueying is now learning to do business from her father, and there is also her father's company in the city where our school is located.Yue Ying went to a branch company for an internship without classes, and was always busy. She gradually knew many things in the business circle, and sometimes she would tell me some industry gossip. But one day when she came back to school, she caught me and almost yelled: "So Mo Shaoqian is Mu Zhenfei's brother-in-law, my God, the news is too shocking, I was so stupid at the time, you know what?" ?” I nod. Yue Ying asked again: "Does Mu Zhenfei know?" I nodded again. Yueying looked like she was about to faint, and said, "This is even worse than Xiaoyan, it's a rich family's grievances and sadomasochistic love, it's a tragic queen, I miss you... Fortunately, Zhao Gaoxing and I broke up, rarely There is a chance to meet Mu Zhenfei, otherwise I will definitely not be able to bear it..." She spoke very lightly, but I know she hasn't forgotten Zhao Gaoxin. One night she and I went to eat outside the west gate, and we saw Zhao Xingxing from a distance, but I didn't even see her. In the end, she dragged me and ran away. We both ran to the edge of Mingyue Lake, and she let go of my hand. She smiled and said, "Is this called running away?" I watched her laugh and cry at the same time, I didn't know how to comfort her, so I could only hug her and pat her on the shoulder. That night Yueying leaned on my shoulder and cried for a long time. We sat on the bench by the lake in early summer. The lake had just grown green lotus leaves, which were reflected green by the newly installed landscape lights along the lake.Countless moths are flying around the light, the moonlight is reflected on the water surface, and it is also dimly illuminated by the light. Occasionally, there are two or three frogs singing by the lake, and unknown insects are singing in the grass.The campus is picturesque in all seasons, and we are in the prime of life. I always thought that my luck was really bad, but I didn't expect not only myself, but even Yueying couldn't be with the person she loves. The news about Mo Shaoqian was also told by Yue Ying: "I heard that he is really going to divorce Mu Yongfei." I said indifferently: "It has nothing to do with me." Yueying rolled my eyes at me, and said: "Can such a big matter have anything to do with you? You are not Chen Yuanyuan, could it be because of you that you got angry and became a beauty? But I think Mo Shaoqian is really stupid this time." It's the same for the Mu family. In the end, the mutual shareholding in a business marriage is actually a loss and a prosperity. If there is a real falling out, it will not be good for him or the Mu family." Yue Ying is no longer as heartless as before, and she always considers things from a commercial or profit point of view when she speaks.I think she might be able to do it and really become a strong woman in the future. I think of those words that Professor Jiang said, what she made me forget, but now I remember them all clearly.Professor Jiang said that Mu Yongfei was always pushing him too hard, trying to control him, and finally ended up in the current stalemate. On the weekend, Yueying went to dinner with a bunch of entrepreneurs.I was alone in the dormitory, but I received a call from Xiao Shan. When I saw his number, I almost thought I was reading it wrong. He seemed to be standing in a very empty place, and his voice seemed very far away: "Tong Xue, can you come to the First Attached Hospital?" I was taken aback suddenly, and I stuttered even when I spoke. I just asked him: "Are you okay? Why are you in the hospital? What happened?" Xiao Shan said, "I'm fine. It's Lin Zixian who wants to see you." I don't know why Lin Zixian wanted to see me, and Xiao Shan didn't say anything on the phone.He just told me to wait for me at the gate of the hospital.Full of suspicion, I hurried to the hospital. Going out from the second north gate of our school, there is the First Affiliated Hospital across the road. I stood on the side of the road and waited for the red light, and I saw Xiaoshan from a distance.He stood in front of the former Soviet-style red brick building in the 1950s and 1960s facing the road in the hospital. The street lights illuminated him very clearly. Although it was far away, I could always see him at a glance no matter what time of day it was. Xiao Shan also saw me, he took a step forward, but was cut off by the continuous traffic.The street lights beside him were beeping.Finally changed the green light. I was surrounded by the traffic and walked across the road until I walked in front of him. I asked him, "What's wrong?" His face was very tired, as if he had encountered something bad. I knew it was bad, but I never dreamed it would be this bad. I saw Lin Zixian in the single room, she swallowed the whole bottle of sedative, and then cut her veins, if Xiao Shan hadn't noticed something wrong, skipped class and rushed over to break the door, she would probably have died. She was lying on the hospital bed, her face was so pale, she smiled when she saw me, it made me feel sad. I comforted her: "Don't think too much, science is developing so fast now, maybe a new drug will come out in three to five years..." "I deserve it, I know." Her voice was still calm, but seemed a little dull, "This is retribution." "Don't think about it...you haven't done anything wrong." She interrupted me directly: "I told Mu Yongfei about your pregnancy..." I never dreamed that I would hear Mu Yongfei's name from Lin Zixian's mouth. They were originally two people who couldn't beat each other, so they should have never known each other. "Mu Yongfei also gave me that photo and asked me to post it on your school BBS. She said that you would have no face to see Xiao Shan again. She said that you were greedy for vanity and were taken care of by Mo Shaoqian. It is hateful for you to destroy their relationship as husband and wife. Xiaosan. I was confused for a while, so I posted it using the proxy IP, and then I posted that you are the mistress of a rich man... But when you called, Xiao Shan left. I couldn’t find you, Mu Yongfei It is said...to make a person suffer, there is no need to let him die, because death is often a kind of relief, as long as you make him despair, life will be worse than death. I listened to her and was encouraged by him, I will go to you..." Crystal tears trickled down her face, "Tong Xue, all of this is my retribution. Xiao Shan really loves you very much. He was drunk that night. I took him back and he hugged me. Said: "Tong Xue, I was wrong." After saying this, he fell asleep. He didn't touch me at all, he just slept with me all night, and he didn't touch me just for that night .I knew from that moment that I would never be able to win you." "I give up on myself, go to bars every night, and socialize with many strangers... I am pregnant, but I don't know who the father of the child is... I have always felt tired, tired of why I am like this... When I was in T City, I was facing You told Xiao Shan that I was pregnant, and when I saw the faces of you two, I knew I was wrong...Tong Xue, this is my retribution...I am sorry for you and Xiao Shan...It is my retribution..." I watched her weep uncontrollably. Such an excellent girl is actually only for love, and she will be hated forever if she stumbles. I still remember her from high school.How lovely and beautiful she was then.She is good friends with everyone, even a lonely person like me can feel her enthusiasm and liveliness at any time. How did it become like this? It was just three years, how could it become like this? I had no way to comfort her anymore, because the doctor came in and urged her to transfer, on the grounds that this is only an affiliated hospital, and hoped that she would transfer to a more professional hospital. The doctor was wearing anti-bacterial clothing and a mask, and kept saying: "We are not discriminating, but most of the patients here are students and teachers, for the safety of more patients..." Lin Zixian was crying so hard that she couldn't even raise her head, I hugged her shoulder impulsively and patted her on the back.Xiao Shan was very angry: "You are still a doctor, you know more about medical knowledge than us, how can you say such unethical words." "Please go to the office to complete the transfer procedures." The doctor left us and left. Lin Zixian was crying in my arms like a child, out of breath. Xiao Shan and I helped her transfer to another hospital, and it took until midnight to get it done. There were always no vacant beds in big hospitals. Finally, Xiao Shan remembered that Lin Zixian had given her the phone number of an acquaintance when she was helping her grandma find a hospital. We finally got a phone call from that acquaintance before we waited until the ambulance picked us up. Lin Zixian's life is not in danger for the time being. After the admission procedures were completed, the doctor said that she would be able to go home after a few days of observation, but seeing her distressed eyes, I knew she would never return to the past.She begged me like a child: "Don't blame Xiao Shan, he was cheated by me, you should be together. Please, don't blame Xiao Shan." I never blamed Xiao Shan, even when he said he wanted to break up, when he was young and energetic, we all thought that the other party would not leave. But just letting go for a moment, we were scattered by the torrent of fate, and we could never get together again. I know that Xiao Shan and I will be separated again soon.Between us, there are not only three years, not only my unbearable three years, but now there is Lin Zixian.