Chapter 7 Chapter VII

I went back to the hospital after daybreak, and the doctor cut the pajamas off my back again, because there were several open wounds, blood stuck to the clothes, and they had to clean the wounds and stitch them up.The dose of anesthesia seemed insufficient this time, and I gasped in pain.While threading the needle with tweezers, the doctor asked me, "How did you make it like this?" "Falling asleep...accidentally...turning over..." "How can the wound be opened by turning over? The carp stands upright?" I was in so much pain that I didn't have the strength to speak, and only then did I know that the last time the beautician did the stitches for me, because Mo Shaoqian insisted, fearing that ordinary surgical stitches would leave scars.This time, the cosmetic doctor did the stitching again, but the doctor sent me to the hospital, saying that the wound tended to become inflamed.

I was sent to the ward to be put on antibiotics, and I still remembered to call Yueying and ask her to ask for a few days off for me.As a result, there was no class in the afternoon, so Yueying came to the hospital to see me, and was taken aback by my injury: "Did you fight with someone in a bar? It's like someone smashed a wine bottle in the back." "Will I go to the bar?" "That's right. If you're going to the bar, you must ask me to go with you." She seemed to think of something, and her face suddenly became serious: "Didn't your boyfriend come? What's the matter with this injury?"

I hurriedly said, "I knocked the desk lamp on the ground, then tripped over the wires and fell on the broken porcelain pieces of the desk lamp." "Huh? Why are you so unlucky recently?" I smiled wryly: "I also want to calculate the Tarot, constellations and so on, to see what's going on." Yueying stayed with me in the ward all afternoon until Zhao Xingxing came to pick her up.Zhao Xingxin also bought me a bouquet of flowers. Speaking of which, this was the first time I received flowers from a boy. I was young when I fell in love with Xiao Shan, and he never bought me flowers.So today I was a little regretful when I received Zhao Gaoxin's flowers: "You were the first one to send me flowers."

Yue Ying called out: "No way, your boyfriend didn't send it?" I thought about it: "Really not." Mo Shaoqian has given me many gifts and clothes over the years, but he has never sent me flowers.I remember that the first gift he gave me seemed to be a necklace. At that time, I didn’t know the goods at all. The box was wrapped in gift paper so delicately. I thought it was a hardcover book.I didn't know how expensive the necklace was. When I opened the blue box, I felt that the light was shining brightly, so beautiful that it was almost suffocating.I hastily closed the lid and returned it to him.

At that time, I was really courageous, just like the heroine in Xiaoyan, thinking that if you don't love, you don't love, and I was so stupid that I dared to tear up the check and dare not accept diamonds, just because he is not the one I want to wait for. Yue Ying said: "Your boyfriend is not very rich, why didn't he even send you a rose?" I said, "Maybe he doesn't love me." Yue Ying curled her lips: "Liar! If you don't love you, why not take you to see the cherry blossoms in spring and soak in hot springs in winter?" I forced a smile: "That's what happened last year, he was quite free last year."

Yueying took a careful look at me, then threw Zhao Xingxing out, closed the door of the ward, and ran to the bed to whisper to me: "Did you quarrel with him?" "No." I don't even know where he is now, the housekeeper sent me to the hospital in the morning, maybe he left in a fit of anger, and never saw me again.But I don't think he let me go so cheaply, so I'm listless. Yue Ying was still very suspicious: "It can't be because of that Xiao Shan?" I suddenly shivered, what did I say last night?In the agony, I seem to have called my mother. Have I ever called Xiao Shan's name?Although the name that was firmly pressed in my heart was always ready to be called out, or I really called it out in a state of confusion, because I once thought of Xiao Shan when I couldn't bear it, and I thought about his appearance over and over again. I used to coax myself for a long time, I thought that if I could see Xiao Shan again, if he knew, he would definitely protect me and never let me suffer any abuse.

I have always used him to lie to myself. When I can't bear it anymore, when I feel hopeless, I use him to lie to myself.I still have Xiao Shan, even if we broke up, if he knew, he would definitely not stand by and watch me being bullied.I put him at the bottom of my heart, like a poor child, hiding a lump of sugar, wrapped in layers of sugar, I know it is there, I know it is sweet without tasting it. I haven't seen each other for three years, even deceiving myself and others has become ridiculous now, he and Lin Zixian are finally together, what else do I have?After tearing off the layers of candy paper, there was nothing inside.

Yue Ying probably felt that my expression was uncertain, and she thought she was guessing, so she criticized me: "You really deserve it, isn't it just a first love, you already have a boyfriend, why are you still thinking about him? Your boyfriend treats you so well , pick out all the things for you, and take you out to play when he has time. Isn’t he just busy with work, so he can’t come to see you often? Be a man with a conscience. If you are so dissatisfied, beware of thunder.” I didn't speak, Yue Ying got a little angry, and poked me on the forehead: "I hate you for being like this the most. I hate people who are eating from the pot and worrying about the bowl. If you really can't let go of Xiao Shan, you can go with you." The boyfriend broke up, so hurry up and chase Xiao Shan back."

"I can't break up with him." I was exhausted, as if I was saying to Yueying, but also like saying to myself: "I can't break up with him." "Then take it easy." Yue Ying hated iron for being weak: "Treat him well." Mo Shaoqian doesn't want my heart either.I can only wait, wait for him to get bored, wait for him to get bored, wait for him to stop being interested in me, wait for him to let me go, wait for him to forget me. I have been waiting for almost three years, pretending to be cute, acting like a baby, no matter what I do, he is still the same.I tried my best, and then I was at the end of my rope.Sometimes he gets angry easily, but after getting angry, he still refuses to kick me away and tell me to get out.

A lot of times I was thinking, what on earth did he like in me, could it be my face? Maybe he loved someone, deeply, but couldn't be with her, and I happened to look like her?It’s done like this in movies and TV, and it’s often seen in novels, but yesterday I tried it, and he was really angry. He was angry not because I guessed it right, but because I dared to test him. Most of the time I feel that he treats me as a plaything, and he just waits patiently to see what tricks I can use, from crying and screaming at the beginning, working hard to death, to deliberately flattering me later, and being careful everywhere.He is like a theatergoer, watching coldly from the sidelines, and I am a cricket in a jar, who is teased from time to time, and then howls, unable to find an opponent.

I can't see through Mo Shaoqian, but he knows where my dead end is.It's never been an equal game, how can I break up with him? Only he can choose not to play, and I have no right to choose. The next day Yueying and Zhao Gaoxing came to see me again, this time Mu Zhenfei came with them, and he also bought flowers, I felt very happy: "You all give me flowers when I live in a hospital? Why didn't you send me to the hospital last time?" Mu Zhenfei said: "We didn't know each other well last time." Can you send flowers when they are ripe?What is the logic? In the end, Yueying told me: "Don't listen to him. He was giving a report at their school this morning. This flower was given to him by a school girl in the background. The little girl was very affectionate, but he told them that it happened to be , A friend of mine is hospitalized, can I give this flower to her? The little girl is so angry that she almost shed tears." I laughed out loud when I heard it, the wound on my back hurt, as expected, Mu Zhenfei was still like that, stepping on the shards of the glass heart and then acting as if nothing had happened. The four of us are always lively together. Mo Shaoqian's driver brought me dinner, but I didn't hear the knock on the door. I didn't realize that someone had come until he opened the door.The driver's expression also seemed quite surprised, probably because he didn't expect there to be so many people in the ward.But he immediately guessed that these were my classmates, so he just looked at them a little bit, but he seemed to even glance at Mu Zhenfei.It's not surprising, Mu Zhenfei is so handsome, there must be scouts trying to lure him to shoot commercials on the street.The driver put the thermos bucket on the bedside table and said to me, "Miss Tong, this is fish porridge. You can eat it while it's hot." I thanked the driver, and the driver nodded politely to everyone else in the room as a greeting, and then left. Zhao Xingxing asked: "Who is that person?" Yue Ying knew that once she saw the driver coming to pick me up, so she answered for me: "Tong Xue's boyfriend's driver." Zhao Xingxing was startled: "Tong Xue, you have a boyfriend? Then what's going on with you and the boss?" I squinted at Mu Zhenfei, he showed his charming dimples: "Didn't I tell you earlier, Tong Xue and I are ordinary friends, you don't believe any of them, believe it now." According to my experience in gossip, the more the person involved denies the scandal, the more serious the scandal will be, so I gave Mu Zhenfei another hard look, I really don't know if he meant it or not. I didn't expect that Xiao Shan would come to the hospital today. It was already dark at that time, Yueying and the others had already left, and the nurses went to buy oranges for me. I was playing speed games on the PSP in the ward by myself, and I was about to destroy people. At the critical moment of my death, I heard a knock on the door. I thought it was the nurse coming back, so I didn't look up, and I was busy playing games: "Please come in." The footsteps were very light, and I suddenly seemed to think of something. I thought I had heard it wrong, or I was dreaming, but the finger that was pressing the button was released unconsciously. After all these years, I can still hear his footsteps. The game on the screen was already over, and it took me several seconds to look up, it was really Xiao Shan.He was still wearing a light sweatshirt, and he was still carrying a bag of things. The incandescent lights in the ward were amazingly bright, but I only felt that he was tall and far away, standing there, as if he was out of reach. I finally heard my own voice: "Why are you?" He smiled at me: "I was glad he said you were sick yesterday. It happened that my grandma was hospitalized here. I came to see her every day. I didn't know which ward you lived in. Fortunately, the nurse helped to find out." He put the paper bag on the bedside table with the emblem of the cake shop on it, and said, "I just bought it near the hospital. I don't know if it's good or not." He still remembered that I liked to eat sweets when I was sick, but I didn't dare to be sentimental, maybe it was just like what we said back then, we broke up and remained friends. I smiled at him, and finally found a word to ask him: "Where's Lin Zixian? Is she okay?" He paused before saying, "She has class today." In fact, I felt that I looked at him very calmly, as if nothing had happened.I'm clearly holding on, but I've already endured even more difficult things than this. The ward became quiet again, because I didn't know what to say to him, and he probably felt a little embarrassed, so he said within a minute: "Well... I have something to do tonight, I'm leaving first." "I see you off." "No, you are a patient." He walked for about two or three minutes before I got out of bed, went straight out of the ward, and ran to the end of the corridor. I knew there was a small balcony where I could see the downstairs. The yard in front of the building is full of acacia trees. At this time, all the leaves have fallen, and the thin branches are slanting in the light of the street lamp, like algae floating in a transparent glass tank.I found the familiar figure in the veins of the algae at a glance. Although it was so far away and so high, I found it when I looked down.I saw the way he was walking, it was him. He didn't walk fast, and his back looked a little thin. In the past three years, he hasn't gained any weight at all, but has grown taller again.The wind at night was very cold, but I didn't feel it at all, just like when I was about to start class back then, I always stood on the corridor outside the classroom and watched him run back from the playground. At that time, he would always raise his head and smile at me from a distance. ' As long as he smiles at me, I feel that even the sky will be sunny. That is my Xiaoshan. I watched his back disappear into the corner, just like every dream.The concrete floor under my feet began to harden, and then began to soften again. I felt like I was stepping on cotton, and I couldn't stand up. The wound on my back also hurt, and the wind made me shiver. But I kept standing there until I felt that my bones were so cold that I went back to the ward.The nurse has returned and is looking for me everywhere.She was shocked when she saw me walking in barefoot, and quickly fetched water for me to wash my feet. I soaked my feet in the scalding water, and my feet were scalded like needles, but I didn't move.I was thinking about Xiao Shan, thinking about every movement and every word he made in this ward. In fact, he only came for a short while, but it only took a second for him to make me feel that life would be worse than death. I didn't eat the cake he brought, I was afraid that if I tasted it, I would cry or go crazy and do something.So I gave all the cakes to the nurse, and she was very happy, so she took them home and gave them to her daughter. In the past, whatever Xiao Shan gave me, I would hide it like a treasure, even if it was an eraser or a book clip.But now I have to be hard on myself because he's not mine anymore.I have to forget him, no matter what, I have to forget him. Xiao Shan said that he came to see grandma every day, but I never saw him again, and I didn't have the courage to find out which department and ward my grandma lived in. Although my grandma loved me so much back then, I couldn't avoid Xiao Shan in time.Although Yueying and Zhao Xingxing came to see me all the time, I didn't want to ask her about Xiao Shan. I will forget about him. On the day I was discharged from the hospital, I even stopped Yueying because Mo Shaoqian actually called and said he would pick me up for discharge. Of course I know that he didn't come to pick me up on purpose, because although I read gossip tabloids every day, occasionally I also read financial news.His company is going to acquire a local technology company, and I guess he's here to preside over the overall situation.But I still feel very flattered that he came to pick me up by the way. Last time I made him so angry, I thought he would put me aside for half a year and ignore me, which is what is called "refrigerated". I've never seen Mo Shaoqian on TV, and his company's name rarely appears in financial news, and even if it appears, it's an understatement, such as this small-scale acquisition.Mo Shaoqian is a low-key capitalist, never showing off the limelight.So I'm quite curious why he got involved with Susan last time and crossed the road with his fingers clasped together. It's not like his style. When we got home, the driver caught up and handed him a bag. He seemed to remember it, and handed it to me: "It's for you." It seems to have become a routine, every time he gets angry, he will give me a gift, I don't know what the intention is, maybe he is used to going down the stairs in this way, which means that he no longer cares about me. I took it: "Thank you." Just about to put the box away, Mo Shaoqian suddenly asked me: "Aren't you going to open it and have a look?" I obediently opened the box, and it was a gemstone ring.The color of this ruby ​​is not strong. Although it is as big as a fingernail, it is estimated that the price will not be too expensive.The style of the ring setting is quite gorgeous, dense diamonds surrounded by stars and the moon, really like the pigeon egg in a certain movie. When I closed the box, I saw his half-smile, but I didn't know what he was laughing at. I watched that movie with him. It was the National Day holiday and I accompanied him in Hong Kong.That day happened to be the end of his business talks, and he had afternoon tea at the hotel, and both of them felt that they had stolen half a day's leisure.I don't know why I mentioned watching movies, so I went to see "Lust, Caution".The movie is in Cantonese, I couldn't understand a word and fell asleep in the middle.When I woke up, I saw a close-up of Tang Wei on the big screen. She was sitting in a rickshaw, reaching out to touch the collar of her windbreaker. I paid attention to the big ring on her finger, and she looked pale Far indifferent, not knowing what he was thinking. I was so sleepy that I knew the movie would be over in a while. On the way back, Mo Shaoqian asked me: "Is the movie good?" I thought for a long time before I said, "The ring is very big and beautiful." It's not that he never gave me a ring, a low-key six-prong setting, and my name is engraved on the ring as usual.To be honest, no matter how good a diamond is, it is still a stone. I often wonder if those diamond rings with engraved names can be sold by then, or if I can’t, I can only sell loose diamonds.I put the ring in the safe, Mo Shaoqian seemed to pat the safe inadvertently: "How much is there?" I deliberately coquettishly said: "It's not all from you." He raised his eyebrows: "But you don't usually wear it." I told the truth: "The jewels you gave me are all so precious. I'm a student, so why don't I wear them to school?" He seemed to laugh and pulled me into his arms. Sometimes he likes to hug me, like hugging cute, but every time he hugs me too tightly, it makes people breathless.His breath brushed against my face, itching and making me feel uncomfortable.He said: "Give you a chance tonight, let's go out to eat." It was the first time that he picked out clothes for me by himself. I think he was in a very good mood, and his business must have gone smoothly.Usually at this time, I will obediently coax him to be happy, and my life will be easier when he is happy.He chose a sapphire blue evening dress with a backless back for me, and said, "To match that sapphire jewelry set I gave you last year." When I changed my skirt and came out, he even picked out my shoes for me. In fact, I don't really think about buying clothes. Sometimes I hang out with Yueying, and sometimes I go to small shops with my classmates. The 30-50 T-shirts are all very beautiful.But Mo Shaoqian thinks I have bad taste, so most of the time, the store sends catalogs, and I just swipe them.Anyway, the services of these famous stores are very meticulous. As long as I buy clothes there once, they will remember the size and size in detail. The shoes are nine-inch stiletto heels. I don't know when I bought these shoes. After wearing them, my whole body wobbles. The only good thing is that I am not much shorter than Mo Shaoqian. He is too tall, and if I wear flat shoes, I can only look up to him forever. The restaurant he took me to is also newly opened. It is the tallest building in the city, and it is half in the air with an all-glass floor restaurant. People with fear of heights must not be used to it.Fortunately, dry ice is released from time to time in the restaurant, and the entire floor seems to be trapped in clouds and mist. The manager of the restaurant came out to greet us in person and gave us champagne. We sat facing the chessboard-like market. Looking down from such a height, everything seemed ethereal like a set.Mo Shaoqian had already read the menu, and handed it to the waiter: "I recommend it." The waiter asked: "Mr. Mo, do you want to serve immediately?" Mo Shaoqian seemed a little careless: "There is another guest, wait for him to come and then serve the food." I didn't expect that there were other people besides us, the people who let Mo Shaoqian wait, they are really arrogant.I suddenly had a bad premonition, I don't think he would be so boring as to really introduce Susan to me for an autograph, right?