When I arrived at Ganlu Temple, it was late at dusk. Ganlu Temple, built in the suburbs of Beijing, was the first Buddhist temple in the Great Zhou Dynasty. It is magnificent. When I got out of the car, I was blown by the mountain wind, and my body was a little cold. Huanbi and Jinxi hurriedly packed up their luggage and jumped out of the car. They supported me one by one. Jinxi said softly: "It's October! The mountain wind is already cold, and the lady just gave birth, so it's better not to damage her body." Since I left the palace, she no longer calls me "Niangniang", because she is afraid that I will be sad and troubled, and because of the embarrassment and uncertainty of my identity, she only calls me "Niangzi" out of expediency.While speaking, a robe was already put on me.

The setting sun that was about to set was half hanging on the opposite steep mountain wall, and the blood red circle seemed to bleed, reflecting half of the sky as if it was burning like a scorching fire, making people feel as if they were suffocated.The boundless twilight gradually diffused like fog, and the surrounding mountains were also a little dull. The ancient temple under the shade of the lush pines, the bells and cigarettes curled up, but made the sinking heart settle down a little. I said quietly: "Evening drums and morning bells, this is how we will live in the future."

The three of them were waiting and watching, when two young nuns came out to welcome us, looked at us a few times, and asked, "Are these people from the palace? The abbot master has ordered us to bring some of them in." I saluted slightly and helped Huanbi and Jinxi to follow them.After bypassing the main hall and side halls of Ganlu Temple, we walked for a long time before we saw a few low bungalows, leading us in and saying: "This is where you will live in the future, you can put your clothes and rest for a while. " Although the bungalow is low and low, it is refreshing inside. There is a big sleeper with couch, a table and chairs, and a big water jar in the corner, it is very simple.

The two little nuns said again: "Please follow us to the main hall, the abbot and the others are waiting." Huanbi leaned over and said with a smile, "It's time to work." Candles were lit in the main hall, cigarettes were lingering, and the smell of sesame oil was extremely strong. I had only given birth two days ago, and I couldn't stand the strong smell, so I suppressed coughing twice.Although there were many people in the hall, it was extremely quiet.Hearing my two coughs, I turned my face away.The first nun looked kindly, and said to me: "You are here."

I felt embarrassed and hurried forward.She pointed to the futon on the ground, and I knew that I was asked to kneel, so I knelt down, and Huanbi and Jinxi hurriedly knelt down too. She only heard her say with a pleasant face: "The decree from the palace, this nobleman is to lead the cultivation. Even so, he has entered the Buddhist sect, and the precepts must be obeyed." So she talked about the rules and precepts, and said: "The poor nun's name is Jing'an, and she is the abbot of this temple. Since you entered the temple, you will naturally be far away from the world of mortals, and you will no longer be a nobleman in the palace. You can't use the old name. The poor nun took a dharma title for you." She After a pause, she said, "You can use the word 'Mo' just like the disciples of the poor nun." She sighed slightly, "You have a sorrowful brow, so you should call it 'Mochou'."

Don't worry, that doesn't seem to be the dharma name that a monk should use.However, it is inconvenient for me to have objections, so I just silently responded.My heart is full of sorrow. I still remember that when I was young, I followed my elder brother to study in the study room. The scorching heat of summer made me feel dizzy, but Xixi’s master finished talking about the suffocating "Four Books" and "Five Classics", and said something like "Three hundred poems, innocent thinking... ...Guan Guan Jujiu, in Hezhizhou, tells about the virtues of concubines, the lady is the daughter of the boudoir, you must keep it in mind..."

I replied honestly with "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmah!" up front, my wife's long beard dazzled my eyes, and I was almost dozing off. Under the grape trellis in summer, the bright to white sunlight sprinkles from the leaves little by little, and the round and semicircular white shadows all over the ground are like unmelted snowflakes. The summer is so long, so long, it almost seems to be endless.The cicadas chirp once for a long time, as if competing with the daylight to see which one is longer and more tiresome.After waking up from a nap, my mind is already sober, but my eyes are always reluctant to open.Under Xiaoxuan's window, there was the crisp low laughter of the daughter's family. It must be Liuzhu and Huanbi playing with grass, or it must be Ping'er coaxing the servant to catch crickets or put together jigsaw puzzles.

My brother came in somehow, smiled and took a volume of books and knocked on my head, "You're still pretending to be asleep, look what good things I brought you here." What good things are just a volume of poetry collections from the Southern and Northern Dynasties.The elder brother said with a smile: "Master's class is so rigid. Don't say you are a daughter. I can fall asleep after listening to it. This volume of Gongci is not easy to come by. You should read it carefully--just don't let mother know, father is hurting you." You, but mother knows, there is no need to preach."

So I hid it like a treasure, just in case my mother found out, and only secretly read a poem or two before going to bed. I half understood it, and my mind was also infatuated.When I woke up in the morning, Liu Zhu made fun of me again: "Miss is crazy about reading, she was talking in her sleep last night, saying 'Luoyang's daughter's name is Mochou'. Mochou? Miss, do you know this lady from Luoyang?" Liu Zhu, Liu Zhu, it seems that her voice and smile are still in my ears, and she is still telling me those witty words with sharp teeth.She died so unjustly, I only need to think about it for a moment, and my heart hurts again.

That's right, Luoyang's daughter is named Mochou.It's the sentence in the song. In that year, I loved this song the most. Finally looking forward to Meizhuang's summer break at her grandfather's house, she hastily brought her here, as if she had found a treasure, and read it to her sentence by sentence: "The water in the river flows eastward, and the daughter of Luoyang is named Mochou. Mo On the thirteenth, I can weave Qi, and on the fourteenth, I can pick mulberries in Nanmotou. On the fifteenth, I marry as Lu's wife, and on the sixteenth, I give birth to a son named Ahou. Lu Jialan's house is a beam with laurel, and there are tulips and Suhexiang in it. Twelve rows of gold hairpins on his head , Five pieces of silk shoes under one step. The coral hanging mirror is rotten and shines, and the flat-headed slave carries the shoe box. What do you expect in life to be rich and honor, I hate to marry the king of the host family."

Mei Zhuang is the most familiar with "Women's Rules" and "Women's Training", and she always doesn't care much about poetry.Often at this time, she would sit under the window and sew an embroidery screen wholeheartedly. The patterns of "Five Blessings Holding Longevity" or "Yutang Ruyi" and holding silk threads as bright as clouds made her face more dignified and calm. .She is only twelve years old, and she has already cultivated the quiet demeanor that a lady should have.After all, dad pampered me too much and spoiled my temperament so arrogantly. After she finished listening slowly, she gave me a slight smile. That smile was like a graceful white lotus suddenly blooming in a pool of emerald green water. She put down her needle and thread, brushed her hands, and said: "I don't understand what I heard, but I just think that Mochou's life is really good. I am versatile, my husband is a wealthy son, and I have a son at sixteen. Naturally, I have established a stable position in my husband's family. There are servants and maidservants in and out like a cloud, and the wealth is extraordinary." Mei Zhuang smiled slightly: "With such a situation, it is already the best destination for a woman in the world. Huan'er, if you and I have a situation of no worries in the future, we should not have any extravagant hopes gone." That's right, at that time, all the hope in the boudoir was to get a lover, to live in peace and prosperity for the rest of my life. However, Mei Zhuang's beautiful brows were slightly frowned, "I just don't understand, Mo Chou's fortune is so good, what else is she not satisfied with?" There is such a sigh." Mo Chou, Mo Chou, I smiled and said, "Mo Chou married rich and honored, but throughout the whole story, there is no mention of how heroic and extraordinary his husband is, how he loves her and respects her. If you love your husband and son-in-law, no matter how beautiful and rich you are, you are still just a lonely woman in a wealthy family. After giving birth to a son, what good is there to have the name of a royal wife?" Mei Zhuang sighed slowly, and said: "That's true. There is also the helplessness of being rich, each has its own suffering." I sang a line after imitating the opera: "Sighing that there is no beauty in the world, I believe it now. Even if I raise my eyebrows, it will be difficult to understand." Mei Zhuang let out a "Yeah", stood up and made a gesture to hit me: "This girl's family reads idle poems and sings nonsensical dramas, she doesn't look like a boudoir daughter at all, what is it?" I turned around and hurriedly hid behind the screen, and said with a smile: "Sister Mei, please forgive me, I was just trying to have fun for a while." To make fun of my sister." Mei Zhuang straightened his clothes, and proudly said: "Naturally, my future husband-in-law of Shen Mei Zhuang must be outstanding, and we will be able to grow old forever." After finishing speaking, the corners of his eyes turned red like drunk. At that time, Meizhuang was so proud, so confident, so high-spirited, with a burning light in his eyes, like a branch of beautiful jade ganoderma, coming out of the dust.It's not the depressed and reclusive Shen Jieyu in the Juju Hall today. I was in a trance, but I remembered the day when I left the palace, Mei Zhuang Yingying stood inside the red wall, watching me at the end of the road.That concern and exhortation, what comes back to my mind now is just the desolate figure standing alone under Wen Shichu's umbrella. In the years passing by in the palace, amidst the infinite disputes, Mei Zhuang has never been truly happy. No matter how it seems, it's still the days when I was newly favored.The waiter raised her delicately and was powerless, and it was the time of Xin Cheng Enze. It was not easy to know the feeling of sorrow when he was so young and flying, and was doted on wantonly by the king. I don’t know which morning it was, it was about the day when Fengluan Chun’en car drove me to the east room of Yiyuan Hall for seven days in a row. On that day, I fell asleep and woke up later than usual. Ling sat on the couch and stared at me with a smile.I couldn't help but be amazed that it was him who fell down so early. But he lay down quietly with his hands up, and only said leisurely: "Aiqing is a good sleeper. When this beauty is sleeping in spring, how can I be willing to leave and face the courtiers with such stern faces forever." Shocked and ashamed, I said, "Is this okay? How can the courtiers and concubines be more important than the emperor's political affairs, the emperor should go to the court quickly." Xuan Ling yawned slowly, slowly touched my cheek with his index finger, and said with a smile: "It's a rare day, let's give the ministers a day of relaxation, and I will also steal a day of leisure." Persuading me, his index finger has already covered my lips: "It's good for you to fall asleep quietly like this. How about morning——Anyway, the time has passed, and it's too late for me to rush, so I'll just let it go." I had no choice but to stop talking and lie quietly in his arms.At that time, the spring was warm and the flowers were blooming. The long window with red lacquer carvings under the east room was half-opened, and a warm wind slowly came in with a misty fragrance of flowers, like a pair of jade hands of a daughter's house, tentatively lifting the weight slightly and half-folded. The shaggy silk curtain is like being in a mirage.A gust of wind blows, and the cherry blossoms outside the hall are scattered like rain, flakes of flying red dance in the distance, reflecting the light and transparent silk of the hall, and the light and shadow are as blurred as smoke. As soon as I raised my head, I met Xuan Ling's affectionate gaze, and I was the only one in sight, as if the whole person was drowning silently. However, if Fang Ruo came to knock on the door respectfully, it means that there is an urgent memorial to report. Xuan Ling was impatient and had to go again, so he smiled at me and said, "It's just that Li Chang is confused. He didn't usually mention these servants on this matter, so that they don't know a word." I was puzzled for a while, and I became curious, so I asked, "What is it?" Xuan Ling smiled a bit narrowly, " I was even more shy, spat lightly, bowed my head and said: "The emperor is so rude, making fun of people like this." Such a good time, after all, is just a dream. Now, I can only sigh: Even if Mo Chou realizes love in her whole life, she can worry about it, at least she can die in peace and be with her youngest son and family.As for me, the love was wrongly paid, the family was ruined, the safety of my father and brother could not be guaranteed for the rest of my life, and I couldn't even have my only daughter by my side. Up to now, sitting in the mirror with worry, and waking up with worry in the night to Mian, I really have to persuade myself "Don't worry". Just as she was in a daze, Jing'an looked at Huanbi and Jinxi behind me, and said: "People in the Buddhist sect should not be served by others, it's just that the hair in the palace told you to be like the former Concubine Shu..." She was busy Changed his mouth and said: "Sin...is the precedent of Immortal Master Chong Jing, so let the two of them practice together with you." Huanbi and Jinxi showed joy on their faces, and they immediately agreed.I looked up, and what was enshrined in the main hall was neither Tathagata nor Avalokitesvara, but a huge Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva.There is a large stone incense burner in front of the Buddha, engraved with the words "Tiangu Dou".On the right side of the stone bed under the furnace is engraved "Fu Sheng Manna, Longevity Qi Yujian Tian", and on the left is engraved "Longqing Ten Years Winter Auspicious Dan Li". The Buddha statue is made of golden body, which is even more solemn under the bright candlelight.My heart throbbed suddenly, thinking of the first-born hazy moon, I felt very miserable for a moment, and said softly: "All sentient beings are exhausted, and the direction will prove Bodhi; the hell is not empty, and I vow not to become a Buddha. If I don't go to hell, whoever goes to hell The Bodhisattva really has profound Dharma." Jing'an glanced at me, took a vase by his side, dipped his hands into the dew in the bottle, and put it on my forehead, saying: "Sakyamuni has a saying of 'I will teach the dew to the public'. , nectar can relieve the sorrows of the world, you are already outside the world of mortals, and your troubles can be thrown away." Her tone was compassionate and her expression was kind, as if she could understand my helplessness.I nodded slightly, and I understood.She pointed to a nun with a big arm and a round waist and said: "This is my junior sister, Dharma name Jingbai, who is in charge of all the daily affairs of the temple. If you need anything in the future, you can find her." Having ordered so, they also dispersed. At night, the wind was strong, and it blew on the tissue paper window paper with a "puff" sound, whimpering like a complaint.I was sitting on the chair, Jinxi lit up the oil lamp and was packing the clothes. I said lightly: "There is nothing to clean up, it's just a few replacement clothes, from now on I'll be dressed in gray clothes forever." Jinxi didn't speak, but Huanbi laughed, and said, "Miss' dharma name is really special. Mo Chou, it doesn't look like an ordinary dharma name, but rather the name of a boudoir lady." I said: "The abbot just wants to warn me that since I have entered Buddhism, I should stop thinking about the worries and annoyances of the world." I murmured: "Is there any worry when it's not as good as the Lu family? It's really true." Huanbi didn't hear clearly, and said, "What did Miss say?" I smiled indifferently, "It's nothing. The most important thing in my life from now on is to pray day and night, hoping that my father, brother and Gongzaozuki who are far away in the north of Sichuan and Lingnan can live in peace forever. This is my only wish." Huanbi bit her lower lip and said softly: "This is the only wish of this servant." I listened quietly to the wind, the wind in the mountains is different from the wind in the palace.No matter how warm and bright the wind in the palace is, it still has a chilly air that is too cloudy.But the wind in the mountains is whistling and roaring.I had been sitting for a long time, and suddenly my body felt chilly, and I started to have cramping pain in my stomach, like a little blue-gray snake spitting out cold letters.Seeing my complexion, Huanbi hurried forward and said, "Miss, what's wrong? Lian Se is so ugly." When Jinxi heard the movement, she hurriedly put down the things in her hands and said, "My lady has just given birth to a child, and the remaining blood on her body is still not exhausted. Today, she has been traveling a lot, so I'm afraid it's not good." She said urgently: " The water on the stove has not boiled yet, so I need to find some brown sugar and drink it hot." I was anxious and strong, so I had to say: "Where did the brown sugar come from in a while, I just bear it." Jinxi hurriedly said: "The problems during the confinement period should not be taken lightly, otherwise it will be the root of the disease for a lifetime." As he spoke, he got up and said: "My servant, go and borrow some money from the people next door to deal with it." Saying that I should go out with this cloak, Huanbi hurriedly helped me to bed and lay down, and covered me with several layers of quilts.My heart was restless, life in the temple was naturally inferior to that in the palace, my body hadn't recovered yet, but Jinchao and Huanbi were involved in taking care of me everywhere, thinking about it, I felt more pain in my stomach. Not only after a while, the door squeaked, it was expected that Jinxi had come back, and said in a helpless tone, "I'm afraid everyone is asleep late at night, and no one is willing to open the door, let alone borrow some brown sugar." Her The voice was even lower: "I went to find Master Jingbai, and she reprimanded me a few times, but I haven't dared to disturb Master Abbot yet." Huanbi thought I was asleep, and sighed softly: "Just now the abbot said that he followed the example of Concubine Shu Gui, and when he turned around, there was no hot water." I vaguely listened, and my heart was even more sad. Suddenly Jinxi seemed to think of something, rubbed his hands together and said joyfully, "There is only a room under the big tree in the distance, and I don't know which master lives there, I will look for it again." Huanbi hurriedly stopped her and said, "In the evening, I heard from two little nuns who led the way that there lived a very strange aunt there, and no one would dare to talk to her. I'd better go ask someone else." Jinxi said: "Others refused to open the door just now, and now I'm afraid they will be even more unwilling. I'd better go and have a look first." Then he instructed: "When the water is hot, boil a pot again, so that the lady can wash her body. " After a while, Jinxi hadn't come back yet, and I felt even colder.Suddenly, there was a loud "bang" as the door was slammed open.A gust of cold wind rushed in with a snow-white figure, Huanbi was startled, and said, "Who is it?!" The man didn't answer, and went straight to my bed, touched my forehead, and took the pulse again, with a rude and sharp posture, looked at me for a moment and said coldly: "You just gave birth, didn't you?!" I struggled to raise my head, and saw that the man's face was a bit fierce, but he was pretty, but his face was frozen like frost, and his expression was very indifferent.I saw that she was dressed as a nun, so she must be from the same sect in the temple, so I signaled Huanbi not to be upset, and reluctantly said: "Yes. Today is already the third day." She hummed softly, with a disdainful expression on her face, and said: "What are you doing to give birth to those stinky men! You deserve it!" As she spoke, she dropped a bag of things in her bosom and threw it on the bedside: "These are enough for you to drink. " Huanbi hurriedly took a look, and was overjoyed: "It's brown sugar! I'm afraid it weighs three or four catties." The man didn't make a sound, took out a few more slices of ginger, ordered me to take it in my mouth, and said: "Put it in your mouth, this thing can get hot." After finishing speaking, he seemed to be angry with someone, and left angrily like a gust of wind. After Jinxi rushed in, she panted, "That person's legs are so fast, I couldn't keep up with her." I said, "Is she that weird-tempered person?" Jinxi said yes, and said: "I have nothing to do, so I have to go to ask, who knows that she will open the door after hearing me that the brown sugar is coming to save lives." Huanbi served me and drank a thick cup of brown sugar water, and said: "In Buddhism, those aunts who live next to me are not willing to come to rescue me. I don’t want to look like those people in the palace.” I shook my head and smiled wryly: "We were kicked out by the abolition of our status, people who were abandoned by the emperor, but like Concubine Shu, we were invited out of the palace by ourselves, and we were led to practice with the title of Concubine, of course not." We talked on the same day." Huanbi's expression was slightly gloomy, I was afraid that she would feel sorry for me, so I changed the subject and said, "Although the aunt just now had a cold face, she had a rare warm heart." So I put ginger in my mouth, missed my Ozuki, and fell into a drowsy sleep. -------------------------------------------------- --- Notes: