Chapter 14 Chapter 14

In the bronze mirror is a beautiful face of lotus, with a touch of rouge applied on the cheeks, but the blush is coming out from the skin, only setting off a pair of water-cut pupils, and the eyes are flowing.Qu Ba once taught good talents to wear clothes, and every time he made up, he was jealous of Qiu Niang.Compared with the eldest woman who married a pipa as a businessman's wife, it may be a good result now... The wedding ceremony was held in the Furong boat, the flute and drum suppressed the clouds, and the orchid and musk deer attacked the shore. ... He gave me everything I wanted, so what is there to be dissatisfied with now?

Debris fell on the side of the ship with a loud bang.The media is marrying me, a dusty person, is it really so invisible to the world?The people on the shore were filled with righteous indignation, insulted and cursed, and threw rubble on the ship.But he sucked the ink, smiled at the mirror stand, and wrote a poem to remind himself: "Painting in the Yuanhu Lake is longing, and the valley water is fragrant and the car is busy. Don't worry. The stele of the old things should be tied to the mouth, and the mirror of the new love wants to put the knife on the head. At this time, the Qixi Festival is moving. Looking at the strings, the two stars will laugh at the cows in the future. I am still holding the candle by the side of the song, and I know that today is in the same boat."

If you ask about Zhang Tai in the world, the combination of gold and silver is clearly worth ten thousand pieces of gold... I turned around and smiled, he treated me like a consort. If I don't marry this person, who will I marry? The twilight is close together, a crescent moon is shining on the river surface, the mist envelops the cold water, and the outside of the cabin finally gradually becomes silent.Pushing open the cabin window, the cool wind hits, chilling the bone marrow. The weather was so cold, when the Zhou family drove me out, I was only wearing a green single shirt and three-inch golden lotus. I walked around, but I didn't know where I was going.The lives of prostitutes are as numerous as duckweed. I was sold into a prostitution when I was ten years old. Once I entered this door, I would never be able to recover.Playing piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, poetry and music, getting up at five o'clock every day to practice my voice.Mom was smoking a hookah, and the chimney was beeping.She exhaled a puff of light smoke, and her voice sounded like a puff of smoke scattered into the air: "Studying literary and martial arts is as good as an emperor's family. In our school, we also need to be skilled in art, so that we can make a face look even better. Just by looking at her face, she is a street prostitute who is one of the third worst." Strange and not uncommon, even prostitutes are divided into different classes, but they are always the same.After all, I rely on my natural talent to be outstanding, and I can be considered a top-notch among my sisters. I still look forward to a person who can get out of the mud and not get stained. I only hope to meet a beloved and redeem this body.

In the end, it made me jump out of the brothel.When he was fourteen years old, he was a bachelor Zhou Daodeng, and my mother decided to sell me to this gray-haired powerful minister.The Zhou family has a prominent family and strict rules.When the mistress of the family heard that she had bought me, a prostitute, she reprimanded me in the upper room for a while after entering the door, and then ordered the maidservant to enforce the family law and beat me with thirty sticks of "rule stick".Bloody and bloody, tossed and tossed in pain, I just gritted my teeth and said nothing.On that wrinkled face, there was only indifference and indifference, as if watching an irrelevant drama.

It is known that here, there is no way for me to survive. Get up at five o'clock, go to the upper room to stand the rules, sleep in front of the mistress' bed at night with bedding under your arm, serve tea to serve you, and wake up when you wake up.Where can I still get half a penny of writing and ink, my muscles and bones are exhausted, and I don't have the heart to think about calligraphy, painting and singing.Every day, she is a maidservant in green clothes. By chance, she had a red velvet flower on her temples that day, and the mistress sneered: "Sure enough, she is a foxy girl. She loves flowers and fans all day long, and wants to hook up with her." So she ordered the maid Spit in the face.

The saliva is not allowed to be rubbed, and the greasy face is a little dry, a little astringent, the skin becomes tighter and tighter, and I only feel itchy and painful, and I know it is unstoppable pain.Almost desperate, I thought about hanging it on the beam with a rope.The young man who lit cigarettes for the master saw it, and was punished by kneeling when he was hungry that day. He quietly gave me a steamed bun and persuaded him in a low voice: "Sister, you are so young, don't care about it, there is always a way out if you endure it." "That steamed bun that sent charcoal in the snow, and a few words of love made me feel a little sore, and he was the only one in this house who treated me like a weak and pitiful daughter.This is enough to slowly tie my heart together again, to live tenaciously and persistently, and to suffer through a tomorrow without a future.

Ashamed to feel a little warmth, if I can see him.He just regards him as a hope, as his only protection, as the only comfort in this Ruhaihoumen.Taking the time to carry people behind her back, she embroidered a pair of insoles, watched the mistress go out to offer incense, and secretly asked him to be in the back garden. Fang handed it to him, but both asked the manager to hold it straight. When the mistress came back from offering incense, when she heard about this, she sneered, "I've seen your flirtatious glances, so I've been hooked up with you for a long time!" As she spoke, she looked back at the master triumphantly, "I said that all the prostitutes are It's a scum, and sooner or later it won't obey women's ways." The white beard on the old man's face was so angry that it almost turned up, but I could only feel absolutely happy: Why did this old man dominate me all my life?He shouted angrily: "Get out!" The mistress smiled, "It's still cheap for this filthy bastard."

I was kicked out of Zhou's house, and the sky and the earth are vast, but I was like a duckweed, living on the streets of Wujiang, almost a beggar.I live in a nunnery and do some rough work of sweeping and cleaning. Those nuns don't want me to eat a bowl of idle food, and they just sneer and sarcastic every day.It turns out that Buddhism is not a pure place.On this day, I met a distinguished guest who came to offer incense and donated fifty taels of snowflakes of silver. The teacher immediately smiled and let me eat vegetarian food in the back hall.The honored guest was a charming and charming girl in her 20s and 80s, who meandered over with her little servant girl, and I, who was sweeping the courtyard with a broom, exclaimed, "Sister Xu!"

This sound finally changed my fate, and Xu Fo, who was a friend of the same family, took me back to her apartment.The courtyard is deep, and the green willows and weeping poplars set off the red building in the powder wall. It is a place of elegance and beauty, but it is the well-known rouge scene and ecstasy cave in Wujiang.I washed my body, washed my hair, changed into clean clothes and came out to thank Sister Xu, but I saw her amazing eyes, "Ying Lian, I really feel sorry for you. If you don't go back to your old business, you will succeed." There must be What?I couldn't help but smile on my face, what can I ask for in this Goulan courtyard amidst the wind and dust?But to earn a living, I am willing to give up this body.Going round and round, it turned out that she couldn't escape this life of soft red and soft cuddling.

Sister Xu managed it with one hand, led the way and built a bridge, and hosted a banquet for celebrities from Wujiang.One of my poems was completed, which caused a sensation in the banquet, and since then my reputation has spread like wildfire.But it turns out that people in the world are greedy for arty, prostitutes sell jokes, can write poems and paintings, and instead earned me a reputation as an oiran.From then on, I changed my surname to Liu and changed my name to Yin. I traveled to and from Wuyue and lived in Songjiang.At that time, people called me and seven talented and famous sisters together as "Qinhuai Eight Beauty".

Achieve fame and success, and there is nothing in vain.This day, Zhang Fu, the leader of the Fushe Society, hosted a banquet and invited him.I was dressed in plain clothes and only ordered the little servant girl to hug the pipa and step into the Qichu Pavilion gracefully.The astonishing gazes of everyone at the banquet had already seen the strangeness, so they smiled slightly and called out Zhang Fu's words: "Xi Ming, there are many distinguished guests today, but I am late, please forgive me!" If you pass this sentence, you will be punished with alcohol.I just said indifferently: "Your gentlemen are all magnanimous, but you are not talented, so I present a song to cheer you up." After picking up the pipa, I lightly folded it and twirled it slowly, and then I sang, "Flick your clothes to go away from the green coral, and take it away. The hole does not speak of swordsmanship. In a moment, thunder and lightning strike at the end of the tree, and the black ape and red leopard invade the sky." The pipa is clanging, noisy and eager, but it can't hide the sudden murderous aura. Concentrate. "The cold front can't recognize the scenery, the cliff falls and the wind sings sadly. The change of voice requires a different person, and the dangerous sword destroys the stone bones." The sound of the pipa gradually became more and more intense, like a line of volleys, gradually rising and rising.The young master in the west head was pouring wine by himself, he was already dumbfounded at this time, the wine pot in his hand was still pouring out, the cup was already full, only half of the table was poured, but no one paid attention to it. "I am full of arrogance, and Guangling Baifa is compassionate..." The sound of the pipa stopped abruptly, and there was still silence during the banquet.After a long while, Zhang Ximing said loudly: "Okay!" Then everyone seemed to come back to their souls, beating the case and clamoring.I put down the pipa slowly, and suddenly I heard a mellow voice say: "Miss Liu is really talented in both sex and art. I just don't know what the name of this poem is and who wrote it. Such a masterpiece should be written by a genius." I smiled lightly, "This "Swordsmanship" is a masterpiece without talent, and it insults my son's hearing." His voice was neither humble nor overbearing, "The girl is quick-witted, and her character is so bold that her eyebrows are not to be outdone. How clear and unrefined she is. Far away, magnificent but slightly unrestrained? Most of them are written by Shen Xiong, but not as good as Hua Cheng's author." Zhang Ximing laughed and said: "Yifu, you have always been proud of the title of your poem, but today you see the genius of Miss Liu, and you are so willing to bow down? " I was terrified, and when I looked back, I saw Yu Xuan with his sword eyebrows, and those dark and deep eyes suddenly lit up, as bright as stars.He turned out to be Chen Zilong, the number one talent in Songjiang, Chen Zilong.His eyes were soft, as if he could look into people's hearts, and I was suddenly startled for no reason.Celebrity and romantic, he is just a young man who wants to win the fame of the brothel, but why under his clear eyes, his cheeks are slightly hot, but he is extremely uncomfortable? He could only talk about the situation, holding the cup with his ten fingers, "Yinwen has always admired your son's name, and it is a great fortune to meet you today. I would like to express my respect with a glass of thin wine." His face suddenly turned slightly red, blushing requite.How could he blush?The high-rollers who come to this gold-selling cave, there are certainly sons who spend a lot of money, and prodigal sons who have lost their reputation for a long time, but everyone regards me as just a plaything, a plaything of elegance.My talent is only enough to win them to show off to others: "That Liu Yin who is capable of poetry and endowment, I have also been her guest." , when people see you curling up, they still don't forget to mention the rancidity under your roots, and there is a subtle tease in your happy smile.Although not on the face, but hidden in the heart, I know. He would actually blush, as if walking on thin ice, and drank the wine with his face up.My heart flickered, and I thought of the boy in the Zhou mansion who gave me steamed buns.He didn't know a single word, but just because I was a woman, he taught me wholeheartedly.He -- this talented Chen Zilong, it turns out that in his heart, I can also put aside those false fame and talent, and I am just a woman. Swallowing a cup of Nurhong slowly, the bitterness first returned to sweetness, and the slightly spicy taste entered my throat. I was full of thoughts, and suddenly choked, and hurriedly took out a handkerchief to cover up a light cough.The little servant girl caressed my back and glanced at him inadvertently, but he was looking at me with concern in his eyes. He just met my eyes and turned away quickly.I suddenly came back to my senses, and there was a hint of sweetness in the spiciness of the wine. The night was as cold as water, and everyone at the banquet was already drunk with wine, and I suddenly became drunk, so I went to the porch when I was not prepared.It was a bright moon, and the cold moonlight reflected my clothes like white snow.The fragrance of jasmine floated in the wind, and the sound of singing in the courtyard next door was faint and intoxicated. He pulled out the gold hairpin and hit the pillar and sang softly: "It's not that I love the wind and dust, but I seem to be misled by the front. Flowers bloom and fall naturally, and it always depends on it." Lord of the East, you have to go if you go, and you can live no matter how you live. If you get mountain flowers all over your head, don’t ask where the slaves will go.” The lingering sound was still indistinct, and suddenly I saw a faint figure reflected on the green brick floor. Turning around suddenly, it was him, indeed it was him.Under the moonlight, his eyes are as gentle as water, "If you get mountain flowers all over your head, don't ask where your slaves will go. The girl is extraordinary, but what she wants is nothing more than that." It is easy to find a priceless treasure, but rare to have a lover.What I want is nothing more than a word of love, a word of love that is true and sincere.There seemed to be a thousand words in his eyes, and I felt drunk, but slightly dizzy. He chanted word by word: "There should be a cold food road in the south of the Yangtze River, and Beauty Fangcao returns with her party." Beauty Fangcao returned with her party, I hurriedly opened my eyes, he didn't dodge or avoid, just looked at me like that.Surrounded by insects chirping at night, flowers are full of fragrance, but I seem to be in the raging sea, I just don’t believe it, I don’t want to believe it, I can’t believe it, I’m afraid to believe it... I have been begging and waiting for so many years, but it turned out that it was him who I was waiting for. Gold-painted flower candles are inserted in pairs in the hall, and the candle flames lightly rippling, illuminating a room full of spring and warming people.Suddenly insane, suddenly drunk.He took a pen to draw my eyebrows. The tip of the pen was as soft as boneless, like the tip of a tongue licking the brows. It was itchy and crisp, which made people lose all strength and no support anymore.He murmured Jiaxuan's famous line in my ear: "I see Qingshan is so charming, I expected Qingshan to see me like this. Ai'er, you have such charming eyebrows that make people want to see Chunshan." My eyes fluttered like water, as if even I was about to turn into water and pour it out all at once.I looked back and smiled slightly, "Then--I will change my name to Rushi from now on, Liu Rushi." He didn't answer, just kissed between my eyebrows, and his hot lips burned on my forehead and on my heart.I just feel that my body is like the wick in the gold-painted flower candle, slowly melting, slowly burning, slowly burning, emitting endless light and heat, bright and bright.The sky and the earth suddenly opened up, as if everything was a colorful and wandering brilliance, and I was able to be reborn as a human being. Xiaoyao doesn't ask about the affairs of the world, and just writes lyrics and composes music every day, singing in harmony with each other.In the quiet boudoir, there are only beautiful scenery and endless spring breeze, and I only envy mandarin ducks but not immortals.Although he has a wife at home, he treats me with sincerity.He never lied or lied, never promised or promised, but he made me go back and forth, never returning. He gave me an arm rest, because I am good at calligraphy, this thing is with me every day, sticking to the skin.He said: "I want the person you are closest to be me, and the thing you are closest to is also mine." After thinking about it, it is as sweet as honey, naturally it is him, it is really him, and it is only him.The world is just him.The more beautiful it is, the more anxious it is. The colorful clouds are easy to disperse and the glass is brittle. All this is too sweet, so it makes people feel like a dream, and they are afraid of losing it when they wake up. That day finally came.When he received the letter from home, his thick brows were slightly frowned.I know that he was brought up by his grandmother, and he was extremely filial to his grandmother. This book must be that the old man misses his grandson.I advised him: "The young master has been away from home for a long time, and the family must take it to heart. It is better for the young master to return home to visit." He gently held my hand, his eyes were the same as when he first saw him, "If so, how can I leave you?" I smiled slightly, "I and the young master are happy with each other because of love; the young master is close to his family , It’s also for love. How can you keep your own selfishness and use the love with the son to win the son’s flesh and blood?” He sighed softly, and my heart pierced like a thousand arrows.You can't take the other's love with your own love, but, will that other love come to take your own love?Just blindly comfort myself, no, no... Taoyedu.The summer sun is like broken gold, scattered in various colors, and shines on my skirt, and the river wind fills my sleeves, blowing my clothes fluttering like flying.The nearby trees are full of cicadas singing hoarsely, which makes people faintly feel restless.This farewell is far away.He clung to my hand, "If so, take care, I will come to pick you up." "Although you know yourself, you must say goodbye, and if you leave for a while, you must say goodbye. I hope that the white head will return together, and I hope that the will will be steadfast." Xue Tao wrote dense small letters on the hairpin, carefully kneading a heart into each stroke In the middle of the day, the arm was placed under the elbow, and the skin was warmed. After putting down the pen, it was just rubbed gently.The top-quality Khotan white jade, flawless in body, comes from Lu Zigang, a famous jade cutter, and is worth a thousand gold. But in my heart, more than ten thousand gold?Wuling is young and quarrels with each other, and there are countless red silks.Although my dowry is not as good as Du Shiniang's furious treasure chest, there are rare treasures in the world, such as pearls and emeralds, and cat's eyes luminous, what are there?But those jeweled treasures are just cold dead things, exuding the smell of copper and salty, they are vulgar things that people despise. This armrest is alive, like a beating heart, and when I press it against my chest, there is also a beating heart. The mountains are long and the rivers are wide and you know where you are. As you go farther and farther away, there are no books.He is not lucky, but he is a filial son. His wife, Zhang Shi, was "born sensitive, filial piety and long-lasting", and was "respected by the three parties as a female teacher".A woman like me really cannot be tolerated in his high hall.I know his difficulties, and my words are tactful, I just want to be able to stay with him, even if it's just to be a concubine.But as long as he can wash his hands and make soup for him, what does fame matter?He was infinitely miserable, and he only said that his grandmother in the Taoist hall did not allow him to have three wives and four concubines. When Xiangjun came to visit me, Fang turned around the lacquered screen and was surprised, "Why is my sister so thin?" Are you thin?The mirror on the dressing table has not been looked at carefully for many days.If he is not here, who will I show the hairpin to?If he is not here, who will I show my head full of jewels and emeralds?If he's not here, who will my thrush look at?If he's not here, who will I wear those silk and satin shirts for? Xiangjun suddenly sighed softly: "My sister is such an idiot, I only hope that Mr. Chen will treat my sister like this." If so, if so, he is naturally so, how could it not be so? It took a long time to realize that Xiangjun did not make a prophecy, but stopped talking. On that day, he finally found out that he had actually accepted Cai as his concubine.But it turns out that it's not that he is not allowed to take concubines, but just that he doesn't want to accept me, a prostitute. The same is true for heaven and earth!The words of the past are vivid: Shangxie!I want to know each other with you, so that my life will never decline.The mountains have no edges, the rivers are exhausted, the winter thunder bursts, the summer rains and snows, and the heaven and the earth are united.Haikushi's rotten words are still in my ears, and now, it turns out that Wen Jun has two opinions, so he came to break up with each other... His relationship with me is a romantic affair, a good story; it cannot be "holding the hand of the son and growing old with the son", it cannot be dignified and standing in front of others.In the end I was wrong, he did not have the courage to break the secular shackles.He reads the books of sages and sages, and seeks fame in the imperial examinations. He is the mainstay of "Qingliu". He must be loyal, filial, chaste, and righteous. The relationship with me alone is an ugly relationship. Can only be regarded as floating clouds. The arm rest on the case exudes a moist luster coldly, I stretch out my hand and lift it up, intending to smash it to the case... After all, the hand is still hanging down slowly. Now, what is the use of broken jade?A teardrop finally fell on the arm rest.The tears are like traces of tears, gradually drying up, like the spittle that was spat on the face at Zhou's house many years ago, greasy on the face, a little bit dry, a little bit astringent, the skin tightens bit by bit, and I only feel itchy, Knowing that the pain is unstoppable.I poured out my heart, but it turned out to be nothing more than that.The twilight outside the fence is vast, and the green hills are charming, but nothing more. The moon is still that good moon, bright and perfect.I wandered under the moon with my thin drunkenness, "It's not that I love wind and dust, it seems to be misled by the front. When the flowers bloom and fall naturally, I always rely on the Eastern Monarch..." Sovereign Lord Laidong... Why do you want to always be Lord Laidong? Could it be that I can't control my own destiny? From then on, I was still a tactful sigh on the Qinhuai River, attracting students like Zhang Shu, Wei Dynasty, Qin Mu, and Chu guests like clouds, but I just watched with cold eyes.As if taking a gamble, she must make three letters and six engagements, and the bright matchmaker is getting married, and she is married.He's so talented, I'll marry a rich man! I finally got the person I wanted, the leader of Donglin, Uncle Wen Zong, Li Du in the poetry circle... I don't know what kind of person he is under the name of his illustrious talent.But I excused my close friend and said: "I will not marry if I am not talented and educated like a scholar in Yushan." This sentence made Qian Qianyi's heart shake.I personally went to visit him at Banye Hall, wearing a scarf and bow shoes, wearing men's clothes, and calling myself "girl brother".He was over fifty years old, but I saw a glamorous light in his eyes.I don't serve him with sex, but confuse him with literary talent, and the world says that I have "a free and easy look, like a forest under the wind".What a great talent he is in the world. Seeing how amazing and talented I am is like a treasure. There was a chill in the night wind, and he put his cloak on my shoulders, smiling all over his face, "The night is cold and the dew is heavy, madam, please take care of your body." I shook his hand, but my smiling eyes were about to fall into tears.From now on, I am Mrs. Qian, the right and proper Mrs. Qian.I seek benevolence to get benevolence, and to get a good man from a good man. Although this beloved man has white hair and chicken skin, and is thirty-six years older than me, he treats me with sincerity. Even if others say that he "desecrates the imperial treasures and hurts the tradition of scholar-bureaucrats", he is still willing to marry Greetings.Others regarded it as shocking, but he just held my hand and smiled silently amidst the heated discussion. He built the magnificent "Jiangyun Building" and "Red Bean Pavilion" for me in Yushan Mountain, which are rich and prosperous, comfortable and comfortable, and he told the whole family early on that everyone treated me politely.He is even more gentle and polite.What is not enough?The joy in the boudoir is better than thrush, he said: "I love you with black hair and white flesh." I blurted out: "I love you with white hair and black flesh." He looked up and laughed, and I also laughed at Yanyan.In the eyes of others, she is a gifted scholar and beautiful woman, just like a natural gift. I finally had a home, but lost my country. Qing soldiers marched southward with iron hoofs, mountains and rivers were broken, wars rose everywhere, the capital fell, and the Ming Dynasty was overthrown in a whirl.Under the overturned nest, there are no eggs?I fully support Qianyi's sale of property and equipment for the rebels to fight against the Qing Dynasty. The general trend is over, and we are retreating steadily. In the May Revolution of Yiyou, soldiers were approaching the city, and I advised Qianyi to die for the country.He was silent for a moment, and took my hand to the bank of the West Lake. In May, the willows are softened, the durian flowers are just burning, and the wind is old.A spoonful of West Lake water, a hundred years of singing and dancing, a hundred years of intoxication.Then Li Yi'an has the arrogance of not wanting to cross Jiangdong, can I bend my eyebrows and bow down and let the rivers and mountains be ravaged by the Tartars?The lake is as green and green as emeralds, with black ripples, and the distant green hills are picturesque. I see how charming Qingshan is, but I expect Qingshan to see me like this. If so, if so, the familiar and distant voice, the calamity of life and death, but never forgotten, never forgotten that man at all.But it turns out that marrying someone else is not getting what you want, but just a gamble, a gamble for him.I can't think anymore in the pain, I dare not think, I don't want to think.After he was captured by the Qing soldiers, he went to die heroically, which was so tragic that it is well known by everyone, but in this life, I went to Youquan with others. My son, I can only wait for your afterlife. Qianyi has slowly stepped into the water, and there is only a quiet and peaceful smile on my face. Wozi, Wozi, are you waiting for me on the bridge of Naihe? Qian Yi suddenly turned around and said, "Yes, Shuiliang." I felt a sudden suffocation in my chest, and he had already retreated step by step, heading straight to the shore. I suddenly felt endless sadness. I chose a good son-in-law after a thousand choices, but it turned out that he was such a man who was greedy for life and afraid of death.In the end it is inferior to him, in the end it cannot compete with him. I turned around suddenly, trying to sink into the water.He can be inferior to Chen Zilong, but I absolutely can't! But the sleeve was held tightly by someone, Qianyi looked at me sadly, the clarity and transparency in his eyes suddenly made me terrified. I thought he didn't know, or, he still didn't know.After marrying him, he was willing to let me go out of the boudoir to meet guests in Confucian clothes, and even wrote a preface for Chen Zilong's poetry collection.he knows?he does not know?But there was only endless sadness in his eyes.I panted quickly and urgently, like a fish about to suffocate, just wanting to jump back into the water. He paused every word, "If it is so, I will bear the curse for thousands of years." He said slowly, "The Shi Ge Department insisted on going its own way, and the whole city guarded. What is the result? It was ten days of massacre of the city, and blood flowed like a river. Who is not a loyal minister, who is not a filial son Knowing that the fate of heaven has returned, knowing that the great event has passed, surrendering to fate, and saving hundreds of millions of lives, this is what a man of lofty ideals has done, and a man can decide on his own!" My voice was shrill, "If you speak so deceitfully, it's just to make excuses for your shy face. You can afford to be a treason, but I can't afford it." He had never looked at me with that kind of eyes before. After a long time, he suddenly said: "Mo Ruo said, you hate me for not being as good as Chen Zilong." As he said that, the strength in my whole body suddenly relaxed.But it turned out that my family and country were just an excuse, and my unshakable arrogance was just an excuse, and I fainted softly. This disease has lingered for several months. On the sickbed, only the night rain is desolate, dripping into the morning through the window.Outside the window is a large plant of plantains, rustling.In front of my little red building in Songjiang, there is also a large plant of plantains. Whenever it rains at night, I always accompany me to listen to the sound of the rain.I had a high fever, and the name was choking on my chest, and at the last moment every time it was about to come out, there was always reason and wisdom to stop it in time. I see how charming Qingshan is, but I expect Qingshan to see me like this. If so, if so... After drinking bowls of bitter medicine, the high fever never subsides.I fell into a drowsy sleep, as if my soul was dead. There was a sudden coolness on my cheeks, and I opened my eyes with the remaining strength, but that arm rested quietly on the pillow.Qian Yi stood far away in front of the bed, "If so..." I finally shed tears.Can't compete, can't compete, still can't compete with him for many years.That Chen Zilong is the magic obstacle in my life, there is no way to avoid it, there is no way to escape.I slowly reached out to hold the arm rest, as if I wanted to hold the past in my dream.Qian Yi just looked at me, as if he had aged ten years for a moment. My body gradually recovers, but the mountains and rivers have already changed color.Qianyi obeyed the imperial edict of the Qing Dynasty and went north to become an official. I sent them off with full makeup, but I was dressed in vermilion.Qianyi's expression changed, and those old and new friends who came to see him off also changed their expressions.Zhu Hong, never forgetting Zhu Ming, slapped him on the face like a crisp slap.I looked at him painfully and resolutely, but his eyes became quiet, still the kind of clear calm and transparent. I hate this gaze from the bottom of my heart, and I can't explain the hatred that I don't know.I was wrong, he was wrong, we were both wrong.You can't be your country, you can't be your family, this dunya is so boring. I started to flirt, even flirting openly in front of his son.Mr. Qian was so angry that he wanted to call the officials to punish him. I could only look at Qian Shangshu, who had not returned home for a long time, gleefully. Qian Yi lightly warned his son: "If the country is destroyed and the king is dead, the scholar-bureaucrats can't be full of festivals, so they are responsible for a woman because they can't keep themselves?" With a bang, he lost the city in a complete defeat--after all, I am not his opponent, nor is it his opponent to cut the robe and judge justice.He is not what I think, and I am not what he thinks. The family is still a family with a name in vain, but the country has long since perished.I have devoted all my dowry to the Nanming court, only hoping to call back the east wind.Qianyi said nothing, and neither did I.Whether it is for the country or for Chen Zilong, he has already stopped asking, and I will not mention it again.That country entrusted all my beliefs, because that was Chen Zilong's belief.That country is my entire past, the only one that has witnessed my present life. The mountains and rivers are lonely, the remnant dream finally wakes up, and the Nanming court lingers on, swallowing its last breath. I numbly watched Qianyi swallow his last breath.He died at last. Mr. Qian wailed bitterly in front of the coffin, all the people were dressed in plain white clothes, the room was covered with white curtains, and mourning banners were hung everywhere.The filial cloth I put on my head rubbed against my face stiffly, as rough as gravel, I didn't even cry. Everyone in the Qian family said that I have no conscience.Qianyi, you regard me as your true love, and I can only treat you as your bosom friend.After all, I have lost to you. On this mourning hall, even the tears have dried up, and half my life has been lost in such a hopeless way. Those old verses are still in my ears, you shaded me for half of my life, gave me a home, and gave me stability in this world, but you let go, leaving me to continue to suffer in this world. The bones are not yet cold, but the clansmen have already come to the door, and pulled the great uncle out to speak, saying that the property of the Qian family can no longer be controlled by me. family property? I looked indifferently at the clansmen in hemp and filial piety, they were like a pack of wolves, with a devouring light in their eyes.Everyone talked about the ancestral family law, hey, the ancestral family law, and even said that I have not had a child for many years, and they want to drive me out.The great uncle was sitting on the big armchair at the top of the hall, smoking a hookah, and suddenly I felt a little dizzy.When I was very young, my mother in the yard also smoked this kind of hookah. I babbled and learned the libretto in front of the hall: "It turns out that the flowers are blooming all over the place, but like this, they are all ruined. But what a beautiful day, where is the yard to enjoy the pleasure?" Flying in the morning and rolling in the evening, clouds and green pavilions, rain and wind, smoke and waves painting boats. People in Jinping look at this time so cheap..." Unable to convey a single word, my mother typed it with a cigarette stick.The pain was burning, but I could not utter a sound, and I had to sing it from the beginning... It turns out that the flowers are blooming all over the place, and everything like this is ruined... In the end, everything is ruined... I finally said slowly: "Grand Uncle, this matter has passed the first seven days, I just ask the whole family to discuss it." The great uncle knocked on the cigarette bag slowly, and said: "It is better to hit the sun than to choose the day. I think as long as everyone talks about everything today, it will be over." I looked at his smoky teeth, just feeling sick. How can such a pickle be endured? Qianyi, now I know how many winds and rains you have withstood for me on weekdays.After all, I betrayed you, so now I can't keep the property behind you? I said calmly: "That's great, I'll invite my grand uncle to sit down. I'll order someone to invite the elders of the whole family, as well as the nephews and nephews of the nearby branches to come to the public discussion." Looking back, I ordered the maid to ask the kitchen to prepare a vegetarian banquet. They breathed a sigh of relief, probably did not expect me to be so knowledgeable. I went back to the room, secretly wrote a letter, ordered someone to send it to the magistrate, and then came out to hold the pot and pour the wine myself. The whole family is relieved, I, a widow who has no power to restrain a chicken, will I be slaughtered by them in the end?After drinking for three rounds, I apologized and said with a smile: "All the nephews sit with the great uncle, and I will go up and open the box to get the land deed account book." The golden boxes and cages in the room, the drawers in the high cabinets, all these make the people downstairs salivate.I slowly opened the drawer, and a long piece of plain cold silk, as light as snow, was gently thrown over the beams of the roof. Qianyi, I have owed you a lot, and I will repay you all today. My son, you promised me that you would come to pick me up. I sent someone to send a letter to the county magistrate--the husband's new funeral, the clansman coaxed, fought for the division of the family property, and forced the mistress to death. The banquet downstairs was in full swing, those people didn't know it, and none of them could escape the prison. A faint smile finally appeared on his lips. I see how charming Qingshan is, but I expect Qingshan to see me like this. If so...if so...