Chapter 90 Chapter Eighty-Nine

Shi Yan knew that Yao Xiaoping was right, if the child could not lead a human life, then he should not bring it into this world at all.But she felt that it was too late now, because she had already brought the child into this world. Although it was in her stomach, her stomach was in this world. Isn't that child also in this world? She doesn't believe that the child in her womb is completely ignorant and ignorant of pain. She thinks her child is very smart, understands everything, and is connected with her heart.Every time she cried, the child would lie there quietly, motionless, as if unwilling to add to her worries; every time she was angry, the child would kick her violently a few times, as if to remind her: Anger! Control anger! Anger hurts the liver; every time she is worried about the child's accident, the child will move a few times in a row, as if telling her: Don't worry, I'm fine; every time she "fights" with the child Sometimes, as long as she said to the child in her heart, "Baby, are you tired? Change hands", the child will change hands and bulge in another place.

She had never had an abortion, and she had heard from Yao Xiaoping and the others about the abortion.I heard that the fetus within forty-five days is first broken with something, and then sucked out with negative pressure; for three or four months, a plastic bag filled with water is put into your uterus to deceive your uterus. , let it think that the baby is old enough, so it produces uterine contractions and squeezes the baby out; if it is bigger, it can be induced, just like a regular childbirth, you have the same labor pains, the same chicken and duck, and the same confinement , but the child will not be taken home for you to raise, but will be "disposed of" by the hospital.

As she is now, it must be induced labor. That is to say, her child was "born", not "flowed" or "scratched". Can the born child breathe?She thought it should be.If a child can breathe, isn't it a living person who can feel everything?It's just that they can't speak, can't express their emotions, can't protest what the world has done to it, and can't ask anyone to protect it, but that doesn't mean that children can't feel pain. She couldn't help but wonder what the hospital was going to do with her induced baby, perhaps hide it from her and test it bloody?Doesn't it hurt when her child is cut with the scalpel?Maybe they killed it before dissecting it?How to kill it?Cover its mouth and nose, or give him some fatal injection?She didn't dare to think about it down this road, and she only prayed that the hospital would not take her child for experiments.

But wouldn't it be cruel if they threw their kids in the trash?Throwing it recklessly like that, wouldn't the child be smashed to death?Even if it doesn't kill it, doesn't it still hurt?Isn't it pitiful for the child to stay aggrieved in the trash can?When she thinks that her child will be thrown to a place where she will never find it, she seems to see a naked baby lying on a chaotic hill, and a group of hungry wolves with green eyes are stepping forward. Approaching the child one step at a time, the child called out to her for help with its remaining strength... She shuddered and cried until she couldn't breathe.

She didn't know how much she cried, but she only knew that her tears had finally dried up, leaving only the flame of revenge in her eyes.She knew that the child in her womb could not be kept, but she never thought about throwing away the pawn and saving the car. She would never let her child lie alone on the chaotic hills and cry, while she lived on.If you can't live, you won't live.She couldn't imagine that if she killed the child and kept her job, what would be the meaning of her life in the future, and her heart would always echo the child's scream for help. Now she just wants revenge, revenge for her child, and whoever makes her child unable to live, she will take revenge on whoever.But after thinking about it, she only thought of the villain Joyoung. The others were all implementing policies, and there was nothing they could do.Only Excellence is avenging his personal revenge, and under the banner of correcting the party style, he is engaged in the murder of human life.

She really thought about turning into an evil ghost. If she became an evil ghost, she could bite Zhuo Yue to death without breaking the law.But she found that this is not an easy road, how can she guarantee that she will become an evil ghost after death, instead of becoming a good ghost bullied by evil ghosts?Is the underworld a clear and just place?It's still not the same filthy corruption! It's still the evil spirits like Zhuoyou who have the upper hand, relying on the power in their hands to do whatever they want. She thinks that the best punishment for Excellence is to let Excellence discover that the child is indeed his after everything is irreparable, and let regret torture him for the rest of his life.But after thinking about it carefully, she felt that there was no certainty about it. A person like Zhuoyue, even if he knew that he had killed his child with his own hands, might not be tortured by his conscience.He has no conscience at all, so how can he be blamed by conscience?Even if his conscience has not been eaten by dogs, he will not be blamed by his conscience, because he never thinks that he has done something wrong and everything is blamed on others. They all thought this way, which is why they blamed so confidently.At that time, he must blame Huang Hai for not sending the book, or blame her for not telling him the truth, or blame the doctor for lying to him, so that he will not be blamed by his conscience at all, and he can sit back and relax every night.

So the best way is to kill that inhumane guy with her own hands. Since she is not prepared to live alone, why is she afraid of breaking the law?Breaking the law is breaking the law, as long as the principles are true.But she was worried that she didn't have the physical strength, so she could only use her intellect to defeat Excellence, paralyzing him first, pretending to be reconciled with him, and then attacking him when he relaxed his vigilance. She was terrified by her cruelty, but she comforted herself immediately: A rabbit knows how to bite when it is in a hurry, let alone a female rabbit biting people for the sake of a child?Whoever harms my child is a heinous sinner, and killing him is to eliminate harm for the people.

That night, her dreams were all related to death, but it was strange that all the things that others hurt her and the child came true in the dreams, and all the things that she revenged on Excellence didn't come true in the dreams, always because of All the nonsense was ruined.She woke up from the dream from time to time, and she was filled with righteous indignation when she thought that no one upheld justice for her even in the dream. When she thought of how sad her parents would be after she and her child died, her heart ached unbearably. But she stopped crying, because crying was useless, because the tears were exhausted.

She did not follow Yao Xiaoping's suggestion, and got rid of the child before the end of the year in order to keep her job.If the child can't be kept, she doesn't care whether she works or not. As long as she fulfills her desire for revenge before the child is born, she will die with the child and never be separated. The decision was made, she was in a calm mood, waiting for the chance of revenge, while still looking for a job everywhere, no matter what kind of job it was, she would go in when she saw the unit and ask others if they wanted a baby, if there was a fertility index, and others would get strange answers. Looking at her, she was almost sent to a mental hospital.

One afternoon when she came back from the outside, as soon as she entered the building, Zhuo Liang came out of the gatehouse, stopped her and said, "Yan'er, I want to talk to you—" Seeing her paralyzed partner come to her door by herself, she was overjoyed and said, "Okay, let's go upstairs and talk—" "It's not convenient to go upstairs to talk, let's have a meal outside, and talk while eating—" She has already disregarded her personal life and death, not to mention eating, she is not afraid of being shot, so she didn't shirk, and immediately agreed: "Okay, let me tell the concierge." She asked the concierge to tell Yao Xiaoping that she went out to eat with Zhuoyue I went, lest Yao Xiaoping and the others wait for her to come back for dinner, and then turn around and say to Zhuoyue, "Let's go, let's go eat."

Zhuoyou took her to the school gate with a motorbike, called a waiter, and took her to the restaurant where they ate for the first time. He ordered several dishes, but he was not in a hurry to talk. He only helped her pick up the dishes and advised her to eat more. . She thought, could he have poisoned these dishes?Why are you so attentive?But she thought that his motorcycle was still at the school gate, and it didn't look like he was going to poison her immediately. Besides, he saw her talking to the porter, so he should know that he couldn't get away with poisoning her now.She was indeed hungry, and since she hadn't eaten and drank in restaurants for several days, her stomach was a little short of oil and water. When she saw a table of food, she was very hungry, so she didn't hesitate to eat on her own. After eating for a while, he said, "You didn't ask me what I asked you to talk about?" "What is there to ask? You can talk if you want to, and if you don't want to talk, I don't care—" "If it's about your job and your fertility numbers, don't you—care?" "What's the use of me caring? The power is in the hands of you people. You can do whatever you want with us—" He seemed to choke, and after a while he said: "Yan'er, I'm sorry, I'm really to blame for this—" Seeing that her eyes widened again, he quickly declared, "I didn't report you, It's - I got you in trouble. When I called my mother that day, I found out - that Wen man - had already been designated as the second in command in the city by default. Before it was officially announced, he started to punish his enemies-I was a thorn in his side-he wanted to punish me for a long time-I knew it-but I didn't expect him-to be so unscrupulous-to take you Knife-" "You cleaned yourself pretty well—" "I didn't clean myself up, as I said, you were implicated because of me, how could this be cleansing myself? I've been running about this for the past few days, but—these officials—you know— They can only help you without affecting their personal interests—really endangering his personal interests—of course he—can’t care about yours—” She didn't know whether to believe him or not, but she believed it a little bit, because he looked a little haggard, and he really looked like he was reciting words.And in her opinion, it doesn't make any difference whether you believe it or not. Anyway, it is a fact that the child will not be saved. As for who caused it, it only changes the target of her revenge, but it cannot change the fate of her child.She said coldly: "The intrigues in your officialdom have nothing to do with me. If you are afraid that the child's wronged soul will haunt you in the future, you can find any reason to fool yourself. People like you—— It's just a way of lying, deceiving others, deceiving yourself, isn't it a lie?" He wanted to get angry again: "What's the matter with you? You can't tell the good from the bad? I'm discussing with you with good intentions, why do you—" She retorted: "What are you discussing with me? Discussing how to bring down that Wen? Don't have that dream, I won't be as stupid as Hu Liying, helping others to do bad things for you—" He choked again, and after choking for a while, he said heavily, "It's not that simple this time—" Seeing him admitting that incident in disguise, she wanted to get angry again.But he rushed ahead and said: "Yan'er, don't be afraid, this is just a temporary low ebb in my life, I will fight that group of people surnamed Wen, I will destroy them, and I will take you away today!" Everything you left will be returned to you, and it will be doubled, if you don’t believe me, just wait and see—” She was so angry that she taught her a lesson: "You haven't come to your senses yet, and you're still babbling. You shouldn't have gone to the officialdom to show off what you can do. You should just be a commoner." , and it won’t hurt me and my children. I think you should learn your lesson this time and stay away from officialdom, otherwise—” He retorted: "It should be that you haven't cleared your mind yet, thinking that as long as you are an honest commoner, it's nothing to do with you. Look at yourself, you never thought about getting involved in the right and wrong of officialdom." No, but what? You're still involved. If you lost — your job — or your kid because of it — would you hate those people? Would you fight back like hell and break them down? " She remembered her revenge plan, but argued: "That's different, I only fight back against those who hurt my children, I don't care if he is an official or not—" "I only fight back against those who hurt——me—, but my enemy happens to be the official—" "I'm different from you, I was implicated by you—" "What's the difference? You are also implicated, and I am also implicated. My parents are in the officialdom, so I naturally become the target of their enemies. Do you think I have any choice? I have no choice like you. Yes Say you—have a little more choice than me, you can at least choose not to—marry me, but what about me? Can I choose not to be born in Zhuo's family?"