Chapter 31 Section 31

The new year and the new semester, in CAROL's view, are completely boring and tasteless.There are no Jason's classes to take, Feng Chaochao's car is the only way to buy groceries on weekends, the student union will no longer hold parties, and the few things that made her ecstasy last semester are gone. There is no Jason in her material world, she can't see him, she can't hear him, he seems to have retreated completely into her spiritual world.What I can do now is to lie on the bed and "ruminate" those days of last semester, starting from Jason picking up the plane, every scene, every detail has been thought over and over many times, what he said, how he said it , How he smiled after he finished speaking, every bit by bit, he knew everything by heart.She thought, if I put this effort into memorizing words, I'm afraid I can memorize even a Webster's dictionary backwards.

She often has a feeling that maybe fate uses this method to make us understand those we are closest to but least understand.For example, my mother, I used to look down on her "emotional intelligence" so much, thinking that her falling in love with "that man" was the stupidest mistake she made in her life, and I used to be proud that I would never make such a mistake.But fate made me meet a Jason, so I began to repeat the mistakes my mother made, and understand my mother from this repetition.It should be said that it is more than understanding, and a more accurate term should be "experience" or "feeling".Understanding only requires the participation of the brain, but experience and feelings require the participation of the whole body and mind.

Now she can easily feel how her mother was obsessed with "that man" back then. Her mother must be like her now. Knowing that this will not lead to good results, she still can't help but throw herself into his arms like moths flying to a flame.She even envied that her mother was luckier than her, because "that man" didn't tie himself to his ex-wife's belt and not look sideways.He squinted, and was moved for his mother. Although he restrained a bit, he couldn't control himself in the end, and hugged the flying moth, both of them burned to death in the flames of love.

She thought that the first lesson Mom had said before was inaccurate.My mother said, "A married man, no matter how good he is, don't give him a second look. The consequences of falling in love with a married man are bitter."But Mom took a second look and got him, which was a far cry from the traditional tale of falling in love with a married man.That kind of story is usually an unmarried girl who fell in love with a married man who lusted after the girl's young body and had an illicit relationship with her, the girl fell in love with the married man with all her heart, and the man Due to various reasons, she was unwilling to divorce. In the end, the girl was either willing to be a mistress, or left him with a broken heart.

She felt that her mother's misfortune was not caused by falling in love with a married man, but by falling in love with a man who was not strong-willed.An unstable man, whether married or not when you meet him, is likely to be seduced by someone else. "That man" is too easy to be tempted, that's why there is that Xiuzhen's story.But she found that when she thought about it like this, she wanted to go into a dead end.If "that man" is not easily seduced, he will not be seduced by his mother; if he is easy to be seduced, then he may be seduced by a woman other than his mother.

Applying this principle to Jason is the same. If Jason can be seduced by her, then he may be seduced by other girls in the future; if he is a person who can withstand temptation, he will not be seduced by her. She asked herself whimsically, can't I be a "seduction terminator"?Let Jason get seduced by me, but never get seduced by other girls?Let temptation begin with me and end with me, never before or since.In this sense, isn't Xiuzhen a "seduction terminator"? "The man" didn't seem to have had any more affairs after he married her, at least not remarried.Maybe it's because "that man" is getting old, maybe it's because Xiuzhen has been watching closely, maybe it's because no one in that small county can seduce "that man" anymore.

She thought, being Jason's "Seduction Terminator" is not so easy.First of all, how can you be a "seducer"?He seems to be very loyal to his family, and he always avoids me, and I can't break into the door to seduce him, because in that case, it will only give him a bad impression and become seductive but not tempting.To make matters worse, he is still young, he is more handsome than "that man", and he is in the United States, not in that small county town, so even if he is obtained, how can he be guaranteed not to be seduced by others?This task is difficult at the beginning, difficult to persist, and it is even more difficult to start well and finish well.

She now understands those drug addicts very well, do you think they don't know the dangers of drug use?Do you think they don't want to quit?Of course, I think that the resolution must be made again and again, but when the drug addiction comes up, all the resolutions disappear, unless there is some antidote to counteract it. I had thought about using Feng Chao as an antidote before, but it seemed that Feng Chao's antidote was just a glass of water. Drinking the water did not cure the poison, but instead spread the poison in the body, causing additional troubles.Love is not up to you to decide, love has its own little mind, it has its own opinions, when it doesn't love someone, it's useless if you kill it.It's all right now, she failed to forget Jason because of Feng Chao, but instead brought Feng Chao in.Feng Chao has undoubtedly fallen into it, treating her as his girlfriend and accompanying her closely every day.I really want to plant flowers without blooming, but I have no intention of planting willows and willows to make shade.

I don't know if there is any antidote in the world that can cure Jason's poison?She thought there should be, the so-called one thing down one thing, if there is a JASON, there must be an ANTI-JASON.I just don't know where this ANTI-JASON is and how to find him.And she knew that any antidote must be extremely poisonous, and the poison cannot be cured unless it is used to fight poison with poison.Therefore, it is very possible to be cured of one poison, but to be infected with another poison; or, more unfortunately, to be infected with another poison without being cured of one poison.The last two poisons co-exist, and there is a dead end.

She looked at the people she knew, and none of them seemed to have the effect of ANTI-JASON, and just when she was almost desperate, she saw a glimmer of hope.But this ANTI-JASON does not exist in her material world, nor does she exist in her spiritual world, but exists in a half-material and half-spiritual, non-material and non-spiritual, super-material and super-spiritual world, that is Internet. Not long after school started, CAROL discovered that Wang Jiexin from China in the lab liked to use the computer by the window, and every time Jiexin came, he would occupy that computer.At first she thought it was because the computer was new and fast. One night when Jiexin was away, she used it and found that it was not faster than other computers. .Jiexin told her that it was because the computer had Chinese software installed on it, and she could read and write Chinese. The place where Jiexin lived did not have access to the Internet, so she wanted to grab the computer in the LAB.

For this reason?She really didn't see any need to seize that computer.Since she came to the United States, she basically reads and writes in English. She can speak Chinese with her Chinese classmates, but she uses English for class, discussion, homework, and presentation.When you are in the LAB, if there are non-Chinese students present, even if you are talking to Chinese students, you must speak English, otherwise someone will accuse you of discriminating against MINORITY, because most of the students in her LAB are Chinese. The computers in the LAB are shared by everyone, basically there is no Chinese software, and the students have no right to install any software, so she has long been used to the LAB without Chinese.Now seeing Jiexin reading Chinese on that computer, I found it very strange, and asked her what she was watching, and why she was so dedicated to snatching this computer every day. Seeing that there was no one in the LAB, Jiexin pointed to the computer to show her.It turned out that Jiexin was on a Chinese website called , and she was reading a long serial titled , which was written by a person named "Chu Tian".Jiexin pointed to a passage for her to read, and said, "This passage was completely addressed to me, and I can almost recite it." After speaking, she actually recited it: "Originally, I thought that once I got married, there would be a two-person world, and there would be one person who would accompany me day and night. I would love you and me, and I would be happy. But I didn't know that after I got married, I felt even more lonely. The loneliness in the past was flying alone in the sky. The loneliness of a bird without company, but it can fly freely; the loneliness of the present is the loneliness of a fish trapped on the beach, with the sea behind it, but it can no longer retreat; there is a mountain in front of it, and climbing it is a dead end; looking left and right Go, besides the beach, or the beach." She thought, it seems that Jiexin's married life is not happy, no wonder she always stays in the LAB by herself.She herself was drawn to another passage: "Pursuit is to pursue to the point of relentless entanglement. Of course, this entanglement is not good, it has the taste of 'entanglement'. If you change it to 'love what I love, no regrets, no regrets'" It is fairer to the pursuer, and more elegant to the pursued. But the essence is the same. The words you use just reflect the speaker's attitude towards your pursuit. It is true that you are infatuated. People who like you to stalk you; those who say you stalk you don’t like people you’re infatuated with.” She was startled, as if this passage was written just for her.She was attracted by this passage, and quickly copied the URL, and read it slowly when she got home at night. After dinner and homework in the evening, she found the website, studied it carefully, and found that it was mainly serialized novels, and there were other genres as well. As long as she registered, she could post posts there, or on others Posts followed by posts.After browsing for a while, she was attracted by the lively atmosphere.As soon as a post came out, many people immediately followed up, praising, smashing, yelling, funny and funny, which made her dizzy. She has become a frequent visitor to the website, visiting that website several times a day, but what she is really interested in is being with its author, Chutian. Judging from the mark on the back of the ID, Chutian is a man.She thinks that this Chutian is at least forty years old, because he has some sideline views on the world, marriage and love, and what he said is very pertinent. She seems to understand some truths, but they have not risen to the level of theory. When he said it, it resonated very much. For unknown reasons, when she read Chutian's stuff, the image of Lu Wei appeared in her mind.Those perceptions of life, that kind of generosity and affection, and those aphoristic and poetic language seem to be written by only Lu Wei.