Chapter 9 Section 9

"Chengcheng, why do you think so?" Mom cried on the phone, "You know, you are my life, and I will sacrifice anything for you." Mom couldn't go on, cried for a while, and both of them hung up the phone. Carol felt that her mother's words were a bit like the lines of those tragic films in Hong Kong and Taiwan. They were very sensational and touching, but the answers were irrelevant.People from Hong Kong and Taiwan films are absolutely unwilling to clarify misunderstandings or anything. If they are clarified, there will be no story, so the answers are irrelevant.If the question is: "Did you kill my mother?" The answer may be: "You know I have always loved you!" Only people will say before dying: "I didn't kill your mother."

Carol thought, what I said was that the origin of my life was just the result of an affair, and what my mother said was how my life was cherished after the origin of life, they are completely different things. Perhaps no matter who, in his/her life, there was a period of time when he tried his best to trace and explore the origin of his own life.How did I come into this world?Is it inevitable?Or by chance?Who created my life under what circumstances?I came to this world, do I have any mission?Or is it just a bug? Perhaps people think that the origin of a life often determines the path of this person's life and his/her role and status in this world.Legend has it that Confucius was created by the marriage of his parents. The origin of Jesus' life is even more unnatural. His mother was asexual and conceived.Why do people put all this effort into the birth of great men?Isn't it just to tell everyone that a great man is unusual from the moment his life is formed?If it is recorded that Jesus was born in the Third People's Hospital, his words and deeds no longer have a sacred meaning.

Carol remembers when she was young, she often asked her mother, "Where am I from?" "It was picked up from the garbage dump." Mom said with a smile, "One day, when I went to take out the garbage, I saw a small package with a child in it, so I picked it up. It was you." Maybe the mother was just telling the same story that many mothers tell their children, just to avoid touching on the topic of sex.But CAROL heard it seriously, and she burst into tears, crying very sadly, maybe it was the first time she realized that her life was so not cherished by others. Mother was naturally terrified, and explained in every possible way, saying that I lied to you just now, how could it be picked up from the garbage dump?Such a cute little baby, who is willing to lose it?You were born from your mother.

"Where did it come from?" CAROL asked curiously. Mother had no choice but to show her the incision of the caesarean section on her lower abdomen. "Then how did I get into your stomach? The incision is so small, how can I get in?" Carol said, putting his head on the incision for comparison. Mom smiled softly, as if recalling some sweet past: "When you ran in, you were very small, like a drop of water, smaller than a drop of water. In fact, half of you used to live in Dad's body , the other half lives in the mother's body, and when the father and mother get married, the two halves of you merge together and become one you."

The other mothers refused to talk about it, they just smiled softly and said that you will know when you grow up.For a long time, CAROL tried to recall the scene when she was two halves, recalling that half of herself lived in her father's body and the other half lived in her mother's body. She couldn't remember, but she thought, a person's body How sad it must be to be split in two and live in two bodies, the two halves must miss each other very much.She is very grateful to her parents for getting married, otherwise the two halves of herself would not be able to be together.

Now it seems that my life is not the fruit of my parents' marriage, but the bitter fruit of their affair.When she thought of "that man" viciously ordering her mother to kill her, she felt that she was not welcome in this world in the first place. Later, my mother wrote a very long letter, writing down the process of her acquaintance and love with "that man".Mom said that it was not the seduction or temptation you imagined, it was the collision and attraction of two hearts.Your father is a very family-minded person. He has always tried his best to restrain himself. Later, I asked him out by pretending to be sick. I told him that I love him, and I hugged his waist from behind...

I know, telling you this, you'll think I'm a bad woman, a bitch.But I did it only because I loved him so much that I wanted to have a baby with him.I didn't expect him to marry me, I knew he had two children, twins, very lovely boys, as handsome as he was.He used to bring them to school to play, he was so proud of them, he showed them to us. Because I love your father, I even love his two children, and I often take his two children to play.I also want to have such a child, preferably twins, preferably a boy and a girl, watching my child grow up day by day, it will be like watching your father grow up by my side, he will always be with me together.

You hate me and despise me, and I don't blame you, but don't think you're the product of an irresponsible love affair.You are what I look forward to every day and pray every night. When I knew I had you, I cried with joy. From then on, you are my everything. I didn't tell him after I had you. I didn't dare to expect that he would divorce me, and I didn't want him to divorce, because I know he loves his children very much.But then the belly slowly appeared, and he couldn't hide it from him.After he knew it, he was very excited. He said that he hoped to be a daughter who looked like me.He wants to be with me, he doesn't want you to be born without a father.I don't know what he said to his ex-wife. In short, she agreed to divorce and didn't want him to pay child support. The only requirement was not to visit his two children.It was the worst way her ex-wife could think of to torture him, but he accepted it for you, and we were married before you were born.

Of course, this matter had a great impact on the school. When the school asked about this matter, he took all the responsibilities, because he was afraid that the school would send me to the countryside.He is a teacher, he is a man, he said it is his responsibility, no one will ask more questions.He was relegated to that normal school, but he didn't want me to go with him. He said that the child's household registration was with his mother, and my stay in the provincial capital would be good for the child's life education.Maybe I should just go with him, and that Jane would have no chance.

I don't mean to defend your father, or me, and I don't want to say that anything done out of love can be forgiven, because I can't forgive your father and that Jane.I just want to say that you are the crystallization of love, which I prayed for. My only hope in this life is that you live happily. You can look down on me, you should look down on me, I have nothing to defend myself.I just want you to take a lesson from my story: a married man, no matter how good he is, don't give him a second glance.The consequences of falling in love with a married man are bitter. Perhaps the more important lesson is not to flirt with a man, even if he's a man like your dad who doesn't look down on you for it.You know, no man can sit still, unless he hates and despises this woman from the bottom of his heart.When a woman's arms wrapped around his waist, her breasts rubbed against his back, and her eyes filled with admiration and longing, all his sanity fell apart, and he had a hero who wanted to satisfy her and save her Temperament, he succumbed to his lust, he did what he would not dare to do when he was sober.If he is a person with a strong sense of responsibility, he may grit his teeth and take on this responsibility, but he may regret complaining in his heart.If he is an irresponsible person, he finishes eating, wipes his mouth and walks away, and will brag about his victories to others in the future, and you will become a bitch.

So I never hated your father. If he pushed me away at that time, maybe I would not have the courage to live in this world.