Chapter 5 Section 5

"Cancer" shrouded head and face like a mysterious and terrifying shadow. CAROL felt that his mind had become a dark room, and there was a man-made darkness everywhere. There was only a dazzlingly bright screen in front of him, like a certain detective movie. In the plot of the movie, a certain police detective turns on the projector and switches slides in a click. There are shocking shots on the screen, but an indifferent voice is introducing the case in his ear. SLIDE 1: Teacher Zhang, the head teacher.After the results of the college entrance examination came out, Teacher Zhang fell ill. It was said that it was a stroke due to high blood pressure.Some people said that it was because she heard that her class had the best test scores in the entire city-owned school, with the most online students and the highest average score. Whenever she was happy or excited, she had a stroke.Many people shook their heads, saying that Mr. Zhang is too kind and strong. Knowing that he has high blood pressure, he should be calm and neither sad nor happy.Enrollment rate and life, which is important?

Teacher Zhang’s students are very grateful to Teacher Zhang. They can’t say what to thank her for. People think she is worthy of gratitude, at least there is no credit or distress, right? In the face of credit and distress, people are more likely to be moved by distress.Merit breeds envy, and distress breeds sympathy.Sympathy is an emotion that benefits others and self. People who are sympathized feel understood and are not alone anymore; people who sympathize with others feel their own advantages and luck: fortunately, my situation is better than his. Mr. Zhang's deeds were published on the front page of the city and provincial newspapers. CAROL, as the province's number one student in science, was naturally mentioned in the reports again and again.When newspaper reporters came to interview CAROL, they asked many questions, but CAROL didn’t know what they wanted to hear. My mother answered for me, saying that Mr. Zhang is good at teaching, heuristic teaching, and cultivating students’ thinking ability, etc.My mother is a teacher herself, so of course she knows what kind of teacher is a good teacher, so what my mother said was very appreciated by the reporter, and they almost copied it into the newspaper.

In order for Teacher Zhang to participate in the farewell meeting, the students all held the farewell meeting at Teacher Zhang's home. CAROL and her mother also went to say goodbye to Teacher Zhang before leaving. Looking at Teacher Zhang's crooked face, CAROL was very moved when she thought that she was sick and insisted on teaching students, and then thought that the teacher would spend the rest of his life lying in bed like this , she felt her nose sour, said take care and hid out. SLIDE 2: When Carol was in her sophomore year, Carol returned home during the summer vacation. One day, a classmate from junior high school came to her home and asked her if she would like to attend Wang Lin’s memorial service. If she did not want to attend, could she donate some money.

"A memorial service?" Carol asked incredulously, "What do you mean?" "The meaning of the memorial service is a meeting..." The classmate obviously regarded the students of University B as bookworms, and embarrassedly wanted to give a concise explanation of the memorial service, "A memorial meeting, this——, the memorial is— —, you don’t even understand the memorial service?” "I mean, what's wrong with Wang Lin?" "He was in a car accident, and the car accident was—, never mind, let me tell you this—" Carol didn't know what that classmate said, but blinked hard, trying to figure out whether the person sitting opposite her, who was sadly and vividly telling about the car accident, was really sitting there, or was it a hallucination.She knew that she had a very rich imagination, so rich that she could see and hear hallucinations.Did he hate Wang Lin from the bottom of his heart, so he imagined such a revenge story?But Wang Lin's name had long been forgotten.Didn't really forget?

At Wang Lin's memorial service, CAROL listened to people reminiscing about the past events one by one. She was afraid that someone would ask her to stand up and say a few words. She didn't know what to say.She dared to swear to God that she didn't hate him a long time ago. Even when she hated him, she never cursed him to death. At most, she only thought about avoiding him forever, lest he mention "that man".Even for trivial things like the high school entrance examination, she never cursed him for failing in the exam, she just knew that he would fail in the exam, because his grades had always been bad, and if he didn't fail in the exam, no one would fail in the exam.

SLIDE 3: Jump back to reality. Since he was sitting with him at a small, secluded table in a secluded restaurant, he should not be called "that man" but "this man." "This man" has always been inseparable from cancer in CAROL's imagination. She imagined that he died of cancer, so he could not live with her and her mother. Maybe a lie repeated a thousand times will not become the truth, but an imagination repeated a thousand times can produce the same effect as the truth.The story of her father's death from cancer was repeated countless times in her imagination, so when she told her classmates the story of her father's death from cancer, it was very real and vivid.When it comes to deep love, sincere tears are often shed.But she still knew deep down that it was all made up by herself to coax herself and her classmates.

And today, just now, "this man" himself said: I have cancer. She remembered an article she had read, saying that studies have shown that human consciousness can be divided into at least four levels: consciousness (consciousness), subconsciousness (subconsciousness), unconsciousness, and superconsciousness. Consciousness, of course, does not need to be explained, because it is too simple, so simple that the more it is explained, the more confused it becomes.The subconscious mind is also a familiar word. "Unconsciousness" does not mean unconsciousness, but the "collective unconsciousness" that Jung talked about. It is something that is not genetic but inherently exists in a nation and culture. In short, it is mysterious.As for this super consciousness, it is said that it is a kind of WILLPOWER, SUPER WILLPOWER that can act on oneself and others.

The article also cited many examples, including Chinese qigong as an example.What is Qi?You can't see it, you can't touch it, but the Chinese can be eight feet away from you, and luck will knock you down.Of course, Qigong is just a kind of WILLPOWER that is not super super, and it can only work within a short range. The article said that this kind of superconsciousness can be manifested as foresight, that is, it can foresee what will happen; In order to gather energy, manipulate some inexplicable forces in the universe, and make your wishes come true. CAROL looked at "this man" in horror, thinking anxiously, do I have this kind of superconsciousness?My superconsciousness gave "this man" cancer?But I didn't expect Teacher Zhang to get sick or Wang Lin to have a car accident!Could it be that in the dark, there is a troubled and confused god who is trying to figure out my mind, and then he didn't check with me to check whether his guess is right, and then he did it indiscriminately?