Chapter 9 Chapter 9 The Last Straw

On Saturday, Nie Yucheng was on the big night shift. Anyway, he couldn't sleep well in the duty room, so he took his laptop to look up some information.Of course there is no WIFI in the hospital, but he bought a network card, which is enough.At first the nurses thought he was secretly playing games, but later they found out that he only read case materials in English, and the MSN in the lower right corner was often blinking, because many of Nie Yusheng’s classmates stayed in the United States, and due to the time difference, when he was on the night shift , it happened to be daytime over there, so they would also discuss some issues on MSN, basically related to majors.

There was not a single emergency operation tonight, and it was a rare situation to be quiet until the middle of the night.Nie Yucheng went to make himself a cup of strong coffee, and stood up to move around. The corridor was quiet, and the nurse on duty at the nurse station was about to doze off, so she covered her mouth and yawned again.At this moment, the internal phone rang, and a call in the middle of the night often represented an emergency. Sure enough, the nurse opened her eyes wide as soon as she answered, hung up the phone, and immediately ran towards the duty room. Nie Yucheng knew that there should be an emergency department, and he heard the nurse panting, "Doctor Nie, there is a car accident patient with broken ribs, which may have injured his heart and lungs. 120 will send him right away! He will arrive at the emergency center in fifteen minutes."

"Who is the doctor following the car?" "Doctor Ma from the emergency center." Nie Yucheng felt relieved a little. Although Dr. Ma is young, he has been working in the emergency center for almost three years, and he is a surgeon with rich experience.The early treatment will be done well, which can buy more time for the subsequent operation.He immediately went to prepare for surgery. After this operation was completed, it was almost dawn.Although the air conditioner in the operating room was very cold, Nie Yucheng was still sweating.I went back to the duty room and took a shower. I was a little tired. The colleagues from the morning shift had come to work one after another. Although it was the weekend, Director Fang would come over as usual in the morning, so no one dared to neglect.Hearing that there was an emergency operation, Director Fang only asked who was the surgeon and who was the first assistant. Hearing that it was Nie Yucheng who was the surgeon, Director Fang didn't ask any more questions, and went straight to the duty room.

Seeing Nie Yucheng lying on the table with a pale face and writing doctor's orders, Director Fang also knew that people who had finished the night shift were like this, not to mention having an emergency operation in the middle of the night, which was exhausting, so Director Fang took a pack of The milk was given to Nie Yucheng: "Your teacher insisted that I bring it. I squeezed it in the car and it was still warm. You know that I hate drinking milk the most, so help me solve it." Nie Yucheng was actually hungry, sleepy and tired, so he drank the milk in a hurry and followed Director Fang to see the patient.As soon as he came back to change shifts with his colleagues in the morning shift, the phone rang. When he saw that it was Secretary Zhang, he didn't want to answer it.But if he wanted to call himself so early, he would probably let him go home for dinner. He had just finished his night shift, so he had an excuse to shirk.

Who knew that Nie Dongyuan would come to the hospital for a physical examination early this morning after picking him up. Secretary Zhang said politely that he hoped that Nie Yusheng could go to the medical examination center. After all, they are father and son, not to mention that he works in the hospital. Nie Yucheng said: "Hasn't he been doing physical examinations in other hospitals? Why did he come to our hospital this time?" Secretary Zhang said: "Maybe I have too much socializing recently, so I feel a little uncomfortable. Don't worry about getting a checkup. The hepatobiliary surgery in your hospital is the best. This time the main check is the liver and gallbladder, so I came here."

Nie Yucheng felt that it was purely an excuse. Is it the same in which hospital does the routine liver function?But since Nie Dongyuan has come, it seems a little unreasonable not to go by himself, and if he doesn't show up this time, maybe Nie Dongyuan will have more followers waiting for him, so it's better to say hello and let him look good, so that in the short term He will not think of other tricks. After finishing his shift, he took off his doctor's gown and went to the medical examination center. This is the main revenue-generating department of the hospital. I was so excited that I immediately took out my mobile phone to send a text message, telling my colleagues in other departments that Nie Yucheng came to the medical examination center, and he didn't wear a doctor's gown, wow, he can look so handsome in an ordinary shirt and jeans, it's outrageous !

Nie Yucheng didn't realize it, because he was really sleepy, and he usually went home to sleep after finishing the night shift.He walked in with his head down, and when he saw Secretary Zhang, he raised his head to say hello, and then said hello to Nie Dongyuan's medical examiner.Nie Dongyuan had finished drawing blood, and was sitting there with his elbow bent. He was naturally very happy to see him coming in. He looked him over carefully and said, "Why is your face so ugly?" "Just finished the night shift." "Do you know why I objected to your choice of this job? It's too hard. You can survive now that you are young. You will have to bear it when you are old in the future."

Nie Yucheng drooped his head and did not speak. Nie Dongyuan saw that his lips were pale and listless. He knew that his son's physique was just like that. He was picky eater and anemic. Even if he said another ten thousand words, he would not listen.Annoyed and distressed at the same time, he couldn't help but let out a long sigh. After two or three routine examinations, the vice president in charge of administration came.He and Nie Dongyuan are old acquaintances, and greeted with a smile, and then looked at the results of several inspections that have come out, and said: "High blood pressure, high blood lipids, fatty liver...Mr. Nie...you still have to pay attention to control your diet Ah! Hey, Xiao Nie didn't come over?"

"He's here early." Nie Dongyuan said while turning around to call Nie Yucheng.I was still surprised in my heart, although my son was a bit lazy and even ignored him, but he never lacked manners in front of outsiders.I don't know why I didn't say anything today. When I saw the vice president coming, I didn't come over to say hello.Turning around, I saw Nie Yucheng fell asleep on the bench at some point. The vice president has also seen it, and said: "Xiao Nie just finished the night shift, right? Their department has a lot of emergency operations, maybe they were busy in the middle of the night yesterday. Too tired, don't wake him up, let him squat for a while."

After the vice president left, all the inspection results came out.Secretary Zhang wanted to wake Nie Yucheng up, but Nie Dongyuan waved his hand, seeing that Nie Yucheng was sleeping soundly. Of course, the chair was very uncomfortable, so his brows were slightly frowned. The eyeballs rolled quickly, and the eyelashes trembled slightly.Most of his appearance is inherited from Nie Dongyuan, except that his eyes and eyebrows are like his mother's. When he was a child, he looked like a girl. His eyelashes were so long that he could hold down a pencil. At that time, Nie Dongyuan was the most boastful, saying that he was my son at first glance, how much he looked like him I.Nie Yucheng always pointed to his eyelashes seriously and asked, "Do you have such long eyelashes?" Nie Dongyuan didn't take it seriously: "What's the use of long eyelashes?"

"It's beautiful! It can block dust!" Little Nie Yucheng curled his lips, "Anyway, you don't have one!" At that time, there was always laughter between father and son.It's not like later, when the son saw him, it was like seeing an enemy. Nie Dongyuan was infinitely sad, couldn't help but sighed again, bent down, and patted his son's arm lightly: "Xiao Sheng? Xiao Sheng?" No one has called him that for many years. Nie Yucheng fell into a drowsy sleep, feeling as if he went back to his childhood, when the nanny aunt woke him up in the morning, and it was extremely difficult.Every day when Nie Dongyuan went to work, he took him to school by the way. Every time the driver came, the car was waiting downstairs, and he was still lying on the bed.Auntie couldn’t help him, she called him by his baby name, put clothes on him, coaxed him to brush his teeth and wash his face, and when he got into the back seat of the car, he was still barely awake, yawned, leaned on his father, and continued sleep.When he got to the school gate, Nie Dongyuan would shake him awake, and the driver would carry his schoolbag for him and send him into the school gate. "Xiao Sheng?" Nie Dongyuan shook his arm. He opened his eyes in a daze, only to realize that he was no longer a child, and fell asleep in the medical examination center.Seeing that he woke up, Nie Dongyuan also withdrew his hand: "If you are so sleepy, ask the driver to take you home and go to sleep." "I can drive." "Show off." Nie Dongyuan muttered, "Stubborn temper, I don't know who it looks like!" Nie Yucheng still sent Nie Dongyuan away before he went to pick up the car.I met Dr. Chang in the parking lot. He also came home from the night shift, and when he saw Nie Yucheng, he said hello. The relationship between Nie Yusheng and Dr. Chang is not familiar, but whether they are born or not, because the two of them are tied for the top of the hospital's grassroots list. Since Dr. Chang got married last year, his popularity has dropped sharply, but there are still a lot of young nurses who like Dr. Chang. Many little nurses blushed when they saw him smiling. "Chairman Nie is here today for a physical examination?" Nie Yusheng nodded. Dr. Chang is in the Department of Gastroenterology, and the leader of the rotating medical examination center recently is Director Lin, the leader of the Department of Gastroenterology. Dr. Chang is the proud student of Director Lin. He followed him to work in the Medical Examination Center these days. Of course, he knew about Nie Dongyuan’s physical examination. . "Don't worry, we'll wait for the biopsy results to come out. You're also a medical student, so you know it's useless to worry at this time." Nie Yucheng was startled suddenly, without any sleepiness: "What biopsy result?" "There is a shadow in the liver area." Doctor Chang seemed more surprised than he was, "Didn't the medical examiner tell you? I just heard what he told Director Lin." Nie Yucheng's heart sank. He fell asleep in the middle of the physical examination just now. Later, when Nie Dongyuan woke him up, he ignored him and didn't say anything to him. Who knew that such a big thing would happen. "What did the director say?" "Wait for the biopsy results." "Then...then does my father know?" "Shouldn't have told him..." Nie Yucheng immediately had the urge to call Secretary Zhang, but thinking that Secretary Zhang must be sitting in the same car with Nie Yucheng at this moment, it would be inconvenient to call him and say nothing, so why not go back to the physical examination center and ask Director Lin immediately. He hurriedly said hello to Dr. Chang, and then went back to the medical examination center.Director Lin saw him and said, "I was looking for you. People in your department said that you left the night shift and were planning to call you." "what happened?" "Your father's liver area has a shadow, and the biopsy report hasn't come out yet, let's see it later." "The physical examination last year was fine." "Xiao Nie, don't worry, everything will be discussed after the biopsy report comes out, you just have to know it in your heart, it might be a false alarm." Nie Yucheng drove home with a gloomy mood all the way.For a while, his relationship with Nie Dongyuan was so bad that he didn't say a word for several years. After returning to China, he didn't go home to live. Counting, father and son couldn't see each other several times a year.Every time he saw Nie Dongyuan, his attitude was naturally very bad, because of all the past, he always had a kind of resistance to his father.But no matter what, he is his blood relative after all, the one who gave half of his life. When he got home, he called Secretary Zhang. Secretary Zhang said that Nie Dongyuan had gone to the company to work overtime, and then asked him what was the matter. Nie Yucheng thought for a while and said, "It's okay, I fell asleep in the morning, I'm afraid he didn't tell me something." Secretary Zhang took the opportunity to say a lot of good things about Nie Dongyuan, and said: "Mr. Nie saw that you were asleep, so he didn't let anyone wake you up. After the final inspection, he went over to wake you up by himself. How can a father and son have an overnight feud? What's more, he is an elder..." "Then is he free tonight?" "Yes, yes, of course." Secretary Zhang quickly freed up a hand, and crossed out the dinner between Nie Dongyuan and the Director of the National Taxation Bureau on the memo, "If you go home for dinner at night, I will tell the nanny at home, Tell her to cook two more dishes." Nie Yucheng didn't comment, and said, "I don't necessarily have to go home for dinner." Secretary Zhang said with a smile: "Anyway, I'm going home and have a meal with Mr. Nie. His blood pressure is high, so if we don't socialize a lot and have more meals at home, it will be better for our health." During the Chinese New Year, he was on duty at the hospital, and he went home to take a look on the second day of the Chinese New Year. Presumably Nie Dongyuan was not disappointed.Even the secretary next to him knew that the relationship between the boss and his son was a string, if it was tense, the boss would be unhappy, but if the son loosened up one day, the boss would feel better. Secretary Zhang walked briskly into Nie Dongyuan's office and told Nie Dongyuan that Nie Yucheng had called and said he would go home for dinner tonight. When Nie Dongyuan heard this, he didn't brow happily. Instead, he sneered and said, "This kid, maybe there's something else that he wants to be stubborn with me, so let's retreat first and coax me into being fooled." Secretary Zhang smiled wryly, and said, "Xiao Nie's biggest problem is that she refuses to have a girlfriend or get married. Apart from that, there's nothing else to be stubborn about." "I told him to come back to work at the company. What's so good about a hospital? He's exhausted. How much money can he earn by standing on the operating table in the middle of the night? I saw him sitting on a chair like a dead fish in the morning. Can fall asleep!" "It's always a good thing to go home for dinner." Secretary Zhang slandered, Xiao Nie already has such a temper, and this old Nie is full of tricks, son ignores him, he is not happy, son will ignore him Well, he felt that there was a conspiracy again.These fathers are more tired than anyone else.But he is a sandwich biscuit, so he can only say good things to both sides, "No matter how stubborn Xiao Nie is, he is also Monkey King, and he can't find your palm. Whatever tricks he plays, you can't listen to him at night." Nie Dongyuan took it for granted. Although his son had a stubborn temper, he was actually quite simple and a bookworm. In front of him, forgive him for not being able to make any tricks. Nie Yucheng went back to sleep, and when he woke up it was already dark, he took a shower, changed his clothes and drove back to Nie's mansion.It was the nanny who answered the doorbell and opened the door for him. Seeing him, he couldn't help smiling: "Xiao Nie is back?" The nanny at home has been changed countless times, and this one is probably a new one. Nie Yucheng didn't quite recognize him. He nodded as a greeting, changed his slippers and walked into the living room. Nie Dongyuan had already come back from get off work and was sitting on the sofa. read newspaper.Hearing him coming in, she glanced up at him and said to the nanny, "Tell Aunt Qin, let's have dinner." That Aunt Qin is a new housekeeping assistant, who is responsible for cooking. The dishes she cooks are quite homely. Both the father and son ate a bowl of rice. While drinking the soup, Nie Dongyuan suddenly said, "Are you going to work the day shift tomorrow?" Nie Yucheng said "hmm", and Nie Dongyuan said, "Change shifts and accompany me to the suburbs tomorrow." Nie Yucheng was subconsciously reluctant, so he said, "I have a very important operation scheduled for tomorrow." "I want to go to your mother's grave. The cemetery called and said that a batch of good graves came out. I want to change your mother's place. Now the cemetery is like real estate in the city center, and there are fewer and fewer good locations. , this time I will choose the one with double acupoints, and when I die, I will be buried with her." Nie Yucheng couldn't help but looked up at Nie Dongyuan. There was a lamp hanging on the dining table. Because the lamp was hung low, it clearly reflected the wrinkles on Nie Dongyuan's gray temples and the heavy eyelids. After all, he was almost sixty. People who are old, no matter how old they are, they are already old. Nie Yucheng didn't say anything, just stirred the chicken soup in the bowl with a porcelain spoon. Changing the cemetery is a big deal.Early the next morning, Nie Dongyuan brought a Feng Shui master to visit the cemetery with Nie Yucheng.The cemetery has developed rapidly in the past two years. Nie Yusheng would come to visit his mother's grave every Tomb-sweeping Day, so he walked ahead and found his mother's tombstone in a short while.Back then, the tombs here were considered very luxurious, but now they are mixed with uneven tombstones and become inconspicuous. Nie Dongyuan's blood pressure was high, and he was out of breath after walking up the mountain just a little.He pushed away the mineral water handed over by the secretary, first put the bouquet in his hand in front of his wife's tombstone, looked at his son, and said, "You won't be allowed to burn paper or incense, so I'll give your mother some bouquets." bow." Nie Yucheng silently bowed three times towards his mother's tombstone.She straightened up and looked at the woman on the tombstone. She smiled softly and stared at her son. The corners of her mouth were slightly upturned, as if she would call her son's baby name at any time. "Come on, let's go see the new tomb." The new tomb is at a higher place on the mountain. Although the stone steps built in the cemetery are very smooth, Nie Dongyuan was sweating profusely from walking. In the end, he was too tired to move his legs. Old man, I can't go up these few steps." Secretary Zhang quickly said, "It's because the weather is too hot." Nie Yucheng didn't say a word, just helped his father, Nie Dongyuan was lifted up by his son's support, "It's not far, we'll be there soon." Mr. Feng Shui looked it over with a compass, and then chose two auspicious points, one is said to be prosperous for children and grandchildren, and the other is very profitable.Nie Dongyuan said: "Then let the descendant of Wang be. They are all dead, so what do you need money for?" "It means that the future generations will have wealth, and their careers will be very prosperous." Mr. Feng Shui said with a smile, "However, the acupoint suitable for descendants is also good. Many children and grandchildren will bring more blessings." "I don't expect many children and grandchildren. It's good to have no more children and grandchildren." Nie Dongyuan made a decision very quickly, pointing to the tomb, "Let's just do it." The secretary followed the people from the cemetery management office to swipe the card to pay. Nie Dongyuan sat on the stone chair under the tree to rest. Nie Yucheng held a bottle of mineral water and silently looked at the neat layers of tombstones on the mountain.Nie Dongyuan suddenly said, "Call me and ask if the biopsy results came back." Nie Yucheng had always been calm, so he was taken aback at this time, and turned around involuntarily, and took a look at his father. "I have lived for dozens of years. Can you hide your tricks from me? Take blood? Did you draw blood from the belly? That's obviously a biopsy! Don't lie to me, tell me, it's the liver after all. , or the gallbladder?" "The results will come out tomorrow." Nie Yucheng said, "Let's talk about it later." Nie Dongyuan was silent for a while, and then said: "I don't expect you to come back to the company and take over from me. Children and grandchildren have their own blessings. When I was young, my life was too hard. There were seven or eight children in my family, and even sweet potatoes I couldn’t get enough to eat. So when I was young, I worked hard to earn money. I always felt that having money could create good conditions for my children and make you live happily. As a result, I was too busy with work to take care of you. I know that in In your heart, you actually hate me. At my age, you can see it. You can do whatever you want, but it’s been so many years, you don’t need to be mad at me, even your girlfriend No one. If I leave, you will be left alone in this world. How can I explain to your mother when I go underground?" Nie Yucheng silently pinched the mineral water bottle, unconsciously deforming the bottle. "Even if that talk is good in every way, it's good in every way..." "I don't think she's good." Nie Yucheng interrupted Nie Dongyuan, "You don't need to say anything, I will find a girlfriend." "You are not happy when you mention her. Don't think that I don't know anything about the past. If you don't let go of the past, even if you find a girlfriend, it won't last long. You don't have to because of me If you want to, find a woman to marry. I hope you live a happy life, instead of just messing around with your marriage just to accommodate me. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to your future wife. Listen to me In a word, son, forget about her, the past is long gone." Yes, the past has already passed, even if you never forget it, it will only increase your troubles in vain.Nie Yucheng silently watched the wind blowing the pines and cypresses between the tombstones. They swayed in the wind, like a neat row of guards, guarding this quiet sleeping place. Because he changed the night shift with his colleagues, when he left the cemetery, he no longer went back in the same car with Nie Dongyuan.When Nie Dongyuan walked towards the Mercedes-Benz, Nie Yucheng felt that his back was old and heavy.Maybe it was because of what his father said just now, maybe it was because of the pending biopsy report, which made him feel powerless and sad. On the way back, the phone rang. It was an unfamiliar number. Nie Yucheng didn't plan to answer it, but he thought it might be some patient, so he answered it anyway: "Hello, Nie Yucheng." No one spoke on the other end of the phone for a long while. He thought he had made a mistake and was about to hang up when he suddenly heard a hesitant voice: "Doctor Nie..." He was startled for a moment, but it turned out to be Tan Jing, she seemed worried that he would hang up the phone, and said hastily: "You said you could go to your office this afternoon, but the nurse said that you will be transferred..." This afternoon, he originally made an appointment with Tan Jing to talk about the damn subsidy plan, but when Nie Dongyuan fell ill, he was disturbed, and agreed to accompany his father to see the cemetery, but forgot about it. "sorry I forgot." His voice was indifferent and polite, Tan Jing was not sure if he was avoiding her intentionally, but at this point, there was only one way to push him to the top.She asked: "Then will you come to the hospital today? I asked for leave today. If I change it to another day, it's not very good to ask for leave again." When did she call him "you" instead of "you"?There was only an uncomfortable dull pain in his heart. It was only when he was in the cemetery that he made up his mind to forget everything about the past and start over.But just a short moment later, she broke in again, and fate seemed to be deliberately making him sad forever. He decided to cut the mess quickly, resolve this matter as soon as possible, and stop contact with her as soon as possible.He said: "I will work the night shift at the hospital today. Are you in the hospital now? Then wait in my office for a while." "Okay, thank you." She was polite and cautious like all parents of patients, as if she was afraid of offending him. It was getting late when he rushed back to the city from the suburbs. Before he had time for dinner, he went to the duty room to take over. After finishing a bunch of formalities, he saw Tan Jing standing in the corridor waiting for him. He didn't want to look at her more, but said, "Come in and talk." Tan Jing took out a piece of paper, on which were densely memorized medical terms that she could not understand. She asked for advice like a primary school student, asking each word and sentence clearly. Nie Yucheng suddenly became a little dazed, probably because The incandescent lights in the duty room were too bright, which reminded him of when Tan Jing couldn't solve math problems in high school, so he asked a boy in the class for advice, and after he saw him, he would grab her and give lectures every day.At that time, under the incandescent lamp, he explained one problem after another to her, and everything was as clear as yesterday. "Understand? He always asked the last question habitually, Tan Jing lowered his eyes and nodded slightly. "As far as the surgical risk is concerned, it's not too high. Tetralogy of Fallot has been delayed until this point, even if it is a traditional surgery, the risk is already very high. You should think about it carefully." Tan Jing suddenly raised her head and glanced at him.Even though the years have left so many marks on her body, even though life has completely changed her, her eyes are still black and white, so clear that he can almost see his own reflection. He subconsciously avoided her gaze, but heard her voice, still very low and low, as if with a kind of timidity: "Dr. Nie, I want to hear your opinion. As a doctor, do you suggest that patients do this?" Operation." It is not that no patient has asked him this way, and those family members looked at him earnestly, as if he was a god who could bring the dead back to life.But he is just a doctor, even if he tried his best on the operating table, what can be saved is still a limited number of lives.But he never dreamed that one day, Tan Jing would ask him so earnestly, for another person, and that person was her son.He didn't want to look her in the eyes. Of course, he knew the risks of the operation plan in his heart, and he also knew what kind of expectations she had for asking such a sentence.In her voice, he even heard piety. When people are in despair, they always pray for God's mercy and miracles to happen, so they will grasp the last straw to save their lives. He has been asked this by the patient's family countless times , but only this time, he felt piercing.He knew that if possible, Tan Jing would rather exchange her own life for that child's life—her and someone else's—Nie Yucheng suddenly felt that the person who was desperate was not Tan Jing, but himself.He had been deceiving himself and others for so long that even he himself really thought that he hated this woman.In fact, he knew in his heart that all the turbulent hatred was actually because of the unforgettable love, the love hidden deep in his heart.What is really ridiculous is himself, until now, there is no way to stop himself from continuing to love. He tried his best to control his emotions, and said carefully, "As a doctor, this plan is uncertain, but it depends on how you decide." Tan Jing seemed very disappointed and only said "oh". He didn't want to say more to her: "You go back and think about it. If you are willing to do it, fill out an application form, and we will submit a subsidy application to CM Company. If it is fast, it will be approved in three to five days; if you don't want to do it, Just consider traditional surgical options." Tan Jing seemed to hesitate for a while before saying, "Thank you." "You're welcome, this is what I should do." He closed the folder in his hand, stood up and put on a pose to see off the guests, "I still have to go around the ward." Seeing her sitting there with her head bowed in silence, He asked, "Are there any questions that have not been clarified?" She quickly raised her eyes and looked at him again, as if she still wanted to say something, but in the end she didn't say anything, but stood up and said, "Thank you, Doctor Nie." Then she left in a hurry Lost. After returning from the ward, Nie Yucheng threw the veneer clip on the table, and looked at the empty seat across the table in a daze.More than an hour ago, Tan Jing was still sitting there with her head down, asking him questions sentence by sentence.Her hair became rough due to malnutrition, and there were fine lines at the corners of her eyes, but the white dimple on the nape of her neck was still there, and whenever she lowered her head, it would be exposed from under the cover of her hair.For a long time, Nie Yucheng felt that the greatest pleasure in explaining the exercises to Tan Jing was that he could see the snow-white dimple on the back of her neck.It was his little secret of happiness, so when he saw her asking other boys questions, he couldn't bear it anymore. Many times, he has also kissed that white and delicate skin, which is the most sensitive part of Tan Jing, as long as he breathes there, Tan Jing's whole body will be limp and will only smile and call for surrender.But now that she is married, she belongs to someone else.Thinking of this, he felt extremely uncomfortable, wishing he could quickly walk to the rooftop and smoke a cigarette. When Tan Jing asked him for money, he felt desperate; on his birthday, when he saw Tan Jing laughing and going home with his children, he felt desperate.But the one who was really desperate was sitting quietly in front of him, looking at him with pious and beseeching eyes, for her and another person's child. She once said: "The cruelest thing in this world is nothing else but making you think you have everything, only to find out that everything is actually false." Subconsciously, he never recalled that thunderstorm night, nor recalled her cruel and cold words, as long as he didn't want to, he could deceive himself into thinking that many years ago, maybe it was just a nightmare. No one knows how long he walked in that rainy night, and no one knows how many tears he shed in that rainy night.The heavy rain washed away everything. For a long time, he had nightmares every night. In the dream, he was still walking alone in the rain. The thunder and lightning were like sharp knives cutting through the thick night. On his face, on his body, he didn't know whether it was rain or tears on his face. After growing up, he had never cried so bitterly.The car lights on the oncoming driveway were bright in the rain, and the next second, he just wanted to bump into the bright car lights, smashing into pieces, and never waking up. While in the US, he even saw a psychiatrist and, for a long time, needed the help of medication.The whole treatment process lasted for three years, and finally, he finally stopped having that nightmare.The psychiatrist warned him earnestly that this did not mean that he was cured, it only meant that he had temporarily closed this trauma, in other words, he was deceiving himself as if the past that had seriously hurt him never happened.This phenomenon is very common in clinical practice. For example, the elderly who send a white-haired person to a black-haired person will often stubbornly deny the fact that the child is dead. For example, a woman who has been raped will always choose to forget what happened that night.It was worse than his nightly nightmares, because the overt symptoms became recessive, and his mind became more unstable in a certain situation. "You don't really choose to forget, you just choose to close." The words of the psychiatrist are still in his ears, and he also knows what his problem is, but in the past few years, his emotions have never exceeded the scope of his self-control, until he met her again. She had already started a new life and a new life, and it was time for her to stop this unrealistic and hopeless longing. He should choose to really let go. When Tan Jing walked to the bus stop, she suddenly felt very tired.There were more than 5,000 yuan in the bag. In the afternoon, she went to sell the brooch.At the most difficult time, she never thought of selling that brooch, because it was the first gift Nie Yucheng gave her.But this afternoon she went to a pawn shop. Platinum has risen many times in the past few years, so she didn't expect that the platinum material alone is worth five thousand, and broken diamonds are not worth much. The other party gave her a total of five thousand and six. , went to the hospital. When the nurse told her that Nie Yucheng was not there, she thought he was avoiding her on purpose. She stood in the corridor with a cold heart. Since she asked him for money last time, she originally felt that she had no face to see him again. If she was more stubborn, she should return the five thousand six to him first, but she couldn't do that.Sun Zhijun asked for money, although she could not raise 20,000 yuan, she still had to give him a few thousand yuan, otherwise, he might really do something terrible. The memory was emptied little by little like this, and the last bit of remembrance was exchanged for money by her.She laughed at herself, what else could she not do for money? The bus came, and there were a lot of people getting on the bus at the entrance of the hospital. She squeezed to the back and found that there was still an empty seat, so she sat down and fell asleep for a while with her bag in her arms.Now she brings the child back every night. Sun Ping is different from ordinary children. He has to pay special attention at night to prevent him from suffocating due to insufficient blood supply to the heart when he sleeps.So she always wakes up three or four times at night to see how the child is sleeping.The daytime work is much more complicated than the cash register. She has to learn too many things, and she is forced to get acquainted with a lot of new knowledge every day. The eight hours a day are very stressful. She only fell asleep for a short while, and when she opened her eyes, she suddenly realized that something was wrong, the zipper of the bag in her arms had been unzipped.She immediately rummaged around and found that the paper bag containing more than 5,000 yuan had disappeared. She couldn't help standing up "teng", she only slept for a short while, why the money disappeared. "Master! My money was stolen!" The bus driver glanced at her in the rearview mirror and said nothing. "Master, please drive to the police station. I only slept for a while. There are still three stops." The people in the car immediately became dissatisfied: "It's still a long way to go to the police station!" "No trouble!" "Hurry up and go home!" "It has stopped for two stops, the thief may have gotten off early." "It's just... the thief must have left long ago, and is still waiting for you to catch him in the car?" "What kind of police station did you go to? It took a few hours to go there, and I didn't even eat dinner..." Tears rolled in her eyes, and she was always nervous and nervous, cautious and cautious every time she took money out.Fortunately, she seldom takes money with her when she goes out, but she lost it today: "I'm sorry to trouble you... I have more than five thousand dollars... I sold my most important thing in exchange... I have another The kid has a heart attack... I don't have the money to operate on him..." She broke down in sobs and spoke in fits and starts, but everyone in the car fell silent.The driver turned the steering wheel and drove the car to the police station. When the car stopped at the gate of the police station, Tan Jing thanked every passenger: "Thank you!" Most of the people were kind and nodded at her, only a few people muttered, complaining about the delay. After tossing in the police station for several hours, the money was not found.The policeman who received the police said: "Maybe the thieves got out of the car long ago, and they will get out of the car as soon as they get their hands on it. You too, with so much cash, why didn't you pay attention?" Talking quietly, tears fell on the shoes. Tan Jing no longer remembers how she got home and how she got upstairs in the end. It wasn't until she entered the door that she realized that she hadn't picked up the child.She took half a day off to go to the hospital, thinking that she could pick up Sun Ping after the talk.But Nie Yucheng broke the appointment, it was already six o'clock when he returned to the hospital for the night shift, and it was almost eight o'clock when she came out of the hospital.She originally planned to pick up Sun Ping after leaving the money at home, because it is not safe to carry the money back and forth. But she lost the money. She fell on the table, whimpering and crying.She had never been so powerless. When she came out of Nie Yucheng's office, she felt that her last hope was about to disappear.虽然聂宇晟话说得非常婉转，但她也明白这个手术肯定风险很高，好几次话到了嘴边又被她咽下去，她没有选择传统方案的能力，可是作为一个母亲，她更不愿意让孩子去冒这样的风险。只是她万万没有想到，会在回家的路上丢了钱。这五千多块，虽然是打算给孙志军的，但她是卖了胸针才换来的。这件事像是最后一根稻草，彻底地压垮了她。 或许这真的是报应，她原本不该这样做。