Chapter 12 Chapter 10 The Hidden Heart

"Hey, you dare to be late in your third year of high school. You haven't worn your badge when you're late. You're ignoring the school's discipline and despising me. Do you know that... you're still staring at me? Why are you staring at me? You're not convinced, are you? " Both Xiaodan and I were late, but before we reached the gate, we saw the director of the Political and Education Office standing at the gate with a small stick, scolding a poor male classmate with his eyes downcast. The timid little Dan patted me on the shoulder and asked me what to do.

I lowered my voice and said, "Let's climb the wall, the director is terrible." Xiao Dan pursed his lips and nodded with a bitter face. The two of us did not dare to get out of the air and retreated. Fortunately, the director became addicted to cursing and had entered a state of madness. Only the two of us who slipped through the net escaped from his tiger's mouth. We parked the bicycle At the corner of the east alley, we saw a very familiar person coming from a distance. We squinted our eyes and saw that it was Lin Zhenzhen whose long hair was messed up in the wind without having time to comb it. We quickly intercepted it Xia Lin Zhenzhen, "Today we three cobblers are getting together, don't ride forward, the director is very angry today, that boy has been scolded so much that he is already drenched in dog blood."

"Could it be that the director was punished by his wife to kneel on the washboard all night, and then vented his anger on us poor little shrimps?" Lin Zhenzhen was so angry that she grinned her teeth. She had no choice but to join us in the team that climbed over the wall. I stayed last and let Xiao Dan, who was inexperienced, climb over the wall first. Xiao Dan was nervous for the first time, fearing that he would fall and become paralyzed. Her lips were trembling all the time, and at first she hesitated to turn it over, but when I mentioned the director of the Political and Educational Office, she closed her eyes, hung her legs, and sucked, then turned over the wall, looking like a toad , we urged her to hurry up, she closed her eyes and jumped down, and then there was a scream from behind the wall, "Ah, Mom, I was scared to death!"

There was too much movement, and Xiaodan's high-pitched voice was particularly piercing in this quiet corner. Lin Zhenzhen cursed angrily, "You are so good at toad kungfu, you are afraid of breaking your leg. Don't you dare to scream again, I'll flip over and kill you!" Xiao Dan was so frightened that she stopped screaming. When Lin Zhenzhen turned over, she let out an ah, and then there was no movement. I thought to myself that this guy scolded Xiao Dan, so I called out too, and I flipped over neatly. I went up to the wall, but when I caught sight of it, I was scared out of my wits. The teacher in charge was standing under the wall with his arms crossed and looking at me. Lin Zhenzhen called out to me in pain, "We have nowhere to run..."

The teacher in charge gave me a sinister smile, "Split, if you do it again, your legs and feet are quite nimble, come down quickly!" Although Lao Ban is usually a king of children, we dare not joke with him now that we have done something wrong. I smiled at Lao Ban embarrassingly, touched my head, and said honestly: "We...we are not afraid of being attacked by the director. Got it?" "You're still arguing. If he finds out that you've climbed over the courtyard wall, it's not as simple as being scolded. You have to be skinned alive! Why don't you hurry up and get out of here!"

I was about to jump down when I saw two students who were on duty in the morning reading pass behind Xiaodan, and raised their heads to glance at me riding on the top of the wall. One boy smiled gloatingly, and the other The eyes just looked at me, and I also looked back at him, but my face quickly became hot at that second, as if a fire was burning towards my face. The boy was none other than Jiang Zimo. I can't remember how long I haven't looked him in the eyes, but this time, it made me extremely ashamed. Seeing my slowness, the teacher in charge jumped forward angrily, "Do you want me to drag you down, Slowly?"

Lin Zhenzhen and Xiaodan just looked at me, they didn't know who was passing behind them, if they knew, they wouldn't look at me like this, as if they were saying don't rely on it, see the reality clearly , There is nowhere to escape, accept your fate, and capture it with nothing. I jumped down, but suddenly sprained my foot, and the pain made my forehead sweat. "what……" I opened my eyes suddenly, and felt a faint pain in my ankle. I ran for too long yesterday. I turned on the bedside light and sat up straight. It was only 5 in the morning. Today is Sunday. Why did I get up so early? Lie down and go back to sleep, but my mind became extra sober because of that short dream.

Say you don't want him anymore. But I happened to have a dream about him. It's like involuntary, uncontrollable, and I can't resist. This is just a dream, not reality. I scratched my hair, got up, went out to get a glass of water, and drank it.Su Xiaoou hasn't slept yet. He is working on a new draft these days. He is in a period of enthusiasm for creation, and he can't wait to draw for several days and nights.Su Xiaoou must be very hungry, he came out to look for food, his face was full of vegetables, his eyes were like a mouse looking for food, he opened the door and saw me, the light in his eyes dazzled me a bit, I put down the cup and saw him silent Looking at me intently, I came to my senses, and I just stammered: "No, you asked me to make you noodles again?"

"You know the rules of the game very well." Seeing his frail appearance, I didn't bother with him anymore, "Okay, I'll make it for you right now. There are still two tomatoes at home." When I went to the kitchen to cut tomatoes, Su Xiaoou covered his stomach and followed me, "Is there any ready-made at home now? I've been hungry for two days." I put down the kitchen knife unbearably, and yelled at him, "Hey, you don't want to die, it's fine if you don't have anything good to eat all day with your stomach, and you still don't feed others for a few days, don't you Want to die young, you! When you die, your comic fans and the little girls in your village will come to me desperately, saying that I didn’t take good care of you. There is still a bag of biscuits in my room, you Go get it yourself and put it on the computer desk."

Su Xiaoou nodded submissively. After all, eating people has a soft mouth, so he quickly withdrew to eat biscuits. I sighed in my heart, this guy is really worrying. Su Xiaoou ate very loudly. Just by the sound, he could tell how long this person hadn't touched food. I put the tomatoes in the pot, boiled the water, and beat two eggs. Order chopped scallions, and just brought them to the small dining table in the living room, Su Xiaoou rushed over like a hungry wolf, gobbling up the noodles, I hurriedly said that the noodles were hot just out of the pan, but Su Xiaoou turned a deaf ear, his lips were lifted and he ate hard , my tongue was scalded to the point of trembling. Looking at this scene, I wished I could shed two tears. It seemed that the tragic erhu music sounded in my ears. This is not a cartoonist, he is clearly a beggar who has not had a full meal. .

Su Xiaoou was halfway through eating, probably his stomach was not so uncomfortable anymore, his movements slowed down, and he frowned as he looked at the noodle bowl. He stared at me intently, and asked seriously, "Why are there so many eggs in this bowl today?" I gave him a blank look, "Nonsense, I cracked two eggs, of course there are too many." The noodles in Su Xiaoou's mouth fell into the bowl, "Two! Why...why didn't you discuss it with me." My eyebrows trembled for a while, but I still resisted the urge to lose my temper with him. In order to prevent him from fussing about the topic of eggs, I told the truth as quickly as possible, "Where do you have eggs? This is me. I just bought it yesterday. You don’t want to get cheap and sell it, okay? The tomatoes are mine, the noodles are mine, the eggs are mine, and even the fireman is a part-time job. In the end, I made it back and the waiter brought it to you. What else do you want, Brother Su?" Su Xiaoou immediately pushed aside his worries and saw that the moon was bright, he grinned and said: "Brother Su, I just can't bear to eat two eggs at once, that's the essence of the hen, we human beings plunder it, we should cherish it, one egg a day is enough Well, but since it is your kind intention, I will accept it with a smile." After speaking, he grinned and continued to eat noodles happily. When he was almost finished eating, he suddenly remembered something and raised his head to look at me. I was so scared by his eyes, this guy couldn't finish his meal honestly, "I heard you and Xin Chao talking about the little daisy's hair a few days ago. What happened, right, let me tell you, her IQ can't give you any useful advice, and she claims to be an emotional expert. Have you ever seen an emotional expert beat a bachelor? It's all practical experience. She knows nothing, I Let me tell you this, the person who gave you the little daisy hairpin, although I don't know who he is, but there must be no reason for sending something, little daisy, a secret love expression, think about it carefully, This thing appeared several times in your 3 years of high school, if it was once, then I can’t tell you anything, if it’s more than once, or even several times, then you have to think about who it is, or, you have to remember it carefully, Did you tell anyone you liked the little daisy barrette?" Seeing that I was silent, Su Xiaoou smiled, and finished the soup in the bowl, pointing to his vicissitudes of face and laughing boastfully: "Look, I have nothing to say, let me tell you, I am the legendary Master Conan, you have opened your eyes today." I grinned dryly. Seeing that I ignored him, the guy went to wash the dishes for fun, and then entered the room. I sat on the sofa silently for a long time. But he shook his head and told himself that it was impossible, and that such meaningless fantasies should not appear again. Just a coincidence, really just a coincidence. But the things that felt wrong in my mind before seemed to be less chaotic. Just thinking about it, a small amount of drowsiness came over me, so I went back to the room and lay down under the quilt, and fell asleep again in a daze. There was no dream, but I felt that I had slept for a long time, but after waking up, It's only 8 o'clock by the time. I was about to wash up when my phone rang. I saw it was from home, so I quickly picked it up. My mother said loudly, "Your grandma's gallstones have recurred again, acute cholecystitis, but she was operated on last week. If your grandma doesn't let me tell you, you will come back on National Day." When I heard it, I was extremely anxious, "What's the matter, didn't it get better before, why did it relapse again?" "Well, you sent her mooncakes for the Mid-Autumn Festival last year. She didn't want to eat them, and she didn't check the expiration date. When she saw them this year, she started to eat mooncakes every day. She ate your two boxes of mooncakes for two months. It’s all right now, it hurts like hell, the doctor said it was acute cholecystitis, you ate moon cakes, your uncle called me quickly, it made me angry and worried.” "Is she okay from the surgery?" "Uh, I'm still in the hospital, and I'll be discharged in two days. You must come back on National Day." When I hung up the phone, I regretted so much that my intestines were green. It was fine to give away one box. Why should I give away two boxes? Quantitative change leads to qualitative change. It is all my fault. Without even thinking about it, I went online to book the plane ticket for tomorrow and asked Mr. Li for annual leave. Su Xiaoou stayed in the house and didn't come out. When I left, I knocked on the door and told me: "I have something to do at home, go home first, I'm full in the refrigerator, there is your favorite Eat canned fish, remember not to starve your stomach, the body is the capital of the revolution." There was a snoring sound inside, I shook my head, and stepped on my way home. I got off the plane and took a taxi directly to the Affiliated Hospital of Jiang University. I called my mother to ask about the ward, but my mother was puzzled, "Why are you asking this, you can't fly back now." "I'm almost at the gate of the hospital." I heard my father's voice next to me, "Why are you telling her, she is so busy with work, anyway, she will have a holiday in a few days." My mother didn't continue nagging me, she told me the ward, and hung up the phone. I carried a black backpack, got out of the taxi, and drove directly to the ward. The more I walked in, the more the scene when I came to the hospital that day flooded into my mind. I shook my head, who cares, that’s it What if I meet him again? Grandma was wearing a striped hospital gown, and my mother was feeding her soup, with a needle stuck on the back of her thin hand, and her old face looked lifeless. As soon as I entered the door, I cried, "Grandma..." Dad fetched water from the door, saw me like this, and hurriedly said: "Weiwei, take off this big schoolbag first, it's so heavy, it's almost ready, so don't make your grandma cry." Grandma stroked my hair with her skinny hands, with tears in her cloudy and old eyes, she kept repeating: "Who told you to come back? The work is so busy and hard. Who told you to come back..." "I'm just worried about you..." Seeing my grandma crying, I couldn't bear it, so I deliberately said something funny: "I dare not come back, it's me, the troublemaker, who bought you two boxes of mooncakes. You bought mooncakes." Grandma burst into tears and laughed. Grandma will be discharged from the hospital in two days. My aunt and my mother have been taking turns here to stay with me all night. When I come back, I will ask my aunt to go back and have a good rest. My mother and I will accompany me. At night, I go to get a small bed and see a man from a distance. Someone came towards me, I hurried into the room to get the cot, pretended not to see him, but I didn't expect him to chase into the room cheekily, "It's you, I thought I was blind." I turned around and smiled, "Lu Erhao, what do you want?" Lu Erhao, on the other hand, looked nonchalant, "What's the matter, I just stopped by to see your grandma, I just found out that she had the surgery in our hospital this morning." "You are such a noble and busy person, how dare you bother to visit me in person?" Lu Erhao touched his nose boredly, and probably knew the reason why he didn't welcome him, I cursed in my heart, man with a long tongue, if Jiang Peng has a big mouth, his level is like a crocodile mouth. "If I offended you before, I apologize to you. After get off work in the evening, I will invite you out for a delicious meal." "No, who knows what kind of conspiracy there is." I dragged the cot directly around him and went out the door. He smiled sullenly at me, and I immediately felt wet all over, which was very unpleasant. As soon as that guy came in front of my family, he immediately changed into a polite and gentle skin, coaxing my grandma very happily, and finally said to me, "Such a good guy, you really have no eyesight Ah, what a pity." "I don't know when I offended Xiaowei. She doesn't like me... I can accept it, but when she sees me, it's like seeing a stranger. I'm very sad. After all, we can't be a husband and wife, but we can be friends. I Even if I ask her to eat, she refuses." This guy acted innocent, he put me in an unrighteous place, I turned my head away from his unflattering expression, I was afraid that if I took one more look, I would be unable to hold back and tear his fake face off. My mother gave me a hard pinch, and smiled at Lu Erhao, "Don't look at her being so old, she is still ignorant, she is such a delicious person, how could she not go to dinner with you, just joking with you." Under the caring gaze of my grandma and the staring eyes of my mother, I sent Lu Erhao out of the ward and walked to the nurse's desk. I felt that I had walked a long way with this dangerous person, so I wanted to turn around and leave without saying a word , but I heard Lu Erhao say beside me: "You really hate me so much? Your mother scolded you a lot, right?" I thought to myself, even if you still know what kind of virtue you are, even if you still know the bitter fruit you planted for others to taste, your conscience is still alive. "If I don't hate you, I'm not normal. You are so talkative, why do you chew my tongue in front of my mother? Your tongue is too long for a big man!" Lu Erhao grinned, "It's not because I exposed your shortcoming that you jumped up and down in anger, but liking someone is not a shortcoming, is it?" "You... Doctor Lu, are you free? You come here to visit, chat, and treat you to dinner. Your patients need you, please, go back to those who really need you, Amitabha." Lu Erhao's expression calmed down, and he lost the arrogance that made people look uncomfortable before, "The person who really needs you is now in Tibet." My eyebrows trembled subconsciously, and even the steps I was about to take froze, and I just stood there, thinking that my ears had heard it wrong, "People who need me? Tibet... What nonsense are you talking about?" ?” "Isn't it your shortcoming?" "Can you have a sense of humor, what he needs is his fiancée, why are you messing around with me?" Lu Erhao's mouth slanted upwards, and he said oh, "Is the fiancee right? I know him best in the whole hospital. I've never seen such a person before. It's weird. Seeing is believing. Rumors are just deceiving you guys." A person who has no brains and likes to spy on other people's privacy." My mind was rumbling, like the sound of a train, Lu Erhao folded his hands on his chest, looked at me playfully, raised his eyebrows and asked me: "Do you still mind having dinner with me now?" I suddenly had a bad premonition in my heart, but my footsteps followed this person who I couldn't figure out or even hated. There were many people walking around me. I lowered my head and watched my fingers stirring on the edge of my clothes. . What am I worried about, what am I afraid of, and...moreover, what am I looking forward to? Along the way, many people greeted Lu Erhao. Whenever Lu Erhao looked back at me from the front, he deliberately said: "Why is it so slow, aren't you hungry?" Some of Lu Erhao's acquaintances even looked at me with curious eyes. Looking at me, there was an ambiguous smile on my mouth that others could guess what they were thinking at a glance, I patted my forehead at Lu Erhao's back, and couldn't help asking myself, "Jiang Wei, you big fool, he is obviously A thousand-year-old fox, why do you still dare to follow him, aren't you afraid that there will be traps waiting for you to jump into?" Lu Erhao walked to the gate, beckoned me with one hand, looked at his watch with the other, and muttered: "It's just time for dinner, you will really pick a time to come out with me." I was shot in the face, and my chest felt tight, but I couldn't say a word. He was not a treat, he was clearly turning black and white to mock me for rushing to eat. I broke away from his hand and stayed as far away from him as possible. "Hey, you really can't take jokes, let's go, I'll take you to eat hot pot." After speaking, he smiled and shook his head. Guess the best way for this guy to survive in the long run is to play tricks on people, and I'm unfortunately one of the tiny ones. When we arrived at the hot pot restaurant, he sat down and greeted me: "Order whatever you want, I'll go to the hospital to get you some medicine for digestion if you eat enough, you just eat hard, it's not easy to eat for nothing." Even the young waitress who wrote the list looked at me with a smile on her face. This Lu Erhao...he really doesn't treat me as a normal person no matter where he goes. The soup began to tumbling, and the heat was slightly lingering. Lu Erhao put the vegetables in it, and moved the chopsticks inside, "Eat the vegetables first, or you will be unbearable if you eat too much meat later." I looked up at the guy in front of me, and thought it was a little funny, "Do you think I'm a woman? Or do you think I haven't eaten meat in eight lifetimes!" His answer was enough to surprise me, "Didn't your mother say that you love shabu-shabu in Beijing, and that you don't like meat. This is very similar to me." "I……" This time it was my turn to be speechless. My mother guessed that she was far from giving up, and she must have called him several times in private without telling me, using various fictitious names to get close. I stroked my forehead helplessly, and said for a long time: "Thank you for being so thoughtful." The other party replied simply and neatly: "No, just eat." He looked like a caring nouveau riche, but he didn't even move his chopsticks, and he had already started to swallow his clouds. "Jiang Wei, take this meal as my compensation." I was chewing the vegetables in my mouth, but I didn't realize it, "Huh?" "Oh, your brain is not easy to use, just forget it quickly." He snuffed out the sparks, and a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth. I don't know if it's because he has tortured me so much that I have no resistance. I don't have any breath in my heart, but I think it's strange that he doesn't stab me, and I don't bother to argue with him. He just replied casually: "Actually, it's not necessary. My parents didn't get too much stimulation from you. Anyway, you can't be considered a wealthy son-in-law." As soon as I finished speaking, he laughed, "Then Jiang Wei, tell me, what kind of person can be considered a rich son-in-law? Jiang Zimo?" The meat I caught fell into the bowl like this. this person…… He couldn't help muttering in his heart, do I know you very well, it's really not polite to make fun of me. "You were talking nonsense in the hospital just now, can't you stop your mouth even after eating?" "Like I said, don't play low-key in front of me. You can't hide your heart. If it weren't for my nonsense, would you come here to eat hot pot with me?" "You admit to yourself that you are talking nonsense." He smiled with his mouth crooked, "From what you said, I only heard the loss in your heart. Don't worry, I won't let you down. Maybe you will thank me for the rest of your life today." I have convinced him, every word hits my vitals, I think I should try to speak as little as possible.So I just buried my head in eating the vegetables, I didn't feel it was hot, and I didn't know how it tasted. I just buried my head mechanically and chewed, and the sauce dipped my mouth. "Dr. Jiang is a classmate of my former university senior. They both studied in Germany. I have a good relationship with him. He is indeed very good. He has a reputation as a sculptor. However, his recent situation is not good. Great." My heart tightened, and I looked up at his slightly wrinkled eyebrows, and the three words "not very good". It doesn't seem like you're lying to me, it's true. "What's wrong with him, didn't you say in the hospital just now that he went to Tibet?" Lu Erhao looked at me, then looked down at the boiling hot pot, and the corners of his mouth twitched a little stiffly, "Forget it, anyway, I'll just meddle in his business for a while, what should be said and what should not be said... But it's okay It's not embarrassing. You look so anxious, this kind of expression is what you should have..." "I……" He waved his hand and took a sip of tea, "It's not bad that he went to Tibet, and he asked for it on his own initiative. Last month, he rescued a woman, but failed to save her, and he began to lose his mind. His appearance at that time , like a different person, not as calm as before, like a child who can't bear the blow, yes... His eyes are like a little boy who lost his loved ones. I scolded him, but he asked Why am I trying so hard, but it still doesn’t work.” It was rare for Lu Erhao to be normal, but he grinned inappropriately, "That's why I said he was an idiot at the time. The head injury was so severe that it would be a miracle that he didn't die on the spot. Why did he blame himself? He was not killed by the collision. Doctors are not gods. They can perform impossible operations and save lives that cannot be saved. The woman's son was tightly protected by his mother when the car accident happened, and he was not injured... ...he was about 7 years old, and he kept crying by his trousers, begging him to save his mother...Jiang Zimo, a fool, violated the taboo of being a doctor, and he agreed to the little boy before the rescue, saying he would Will save his mother and make the little boy trust him... haha, how funny." I turned my head sideways, not wanting Lu Erhao to look at my red eyes, and I don't know why my heart hurts just hearing this sentence. Lu Erhao didn't seem to intend to let me go, "Dr. Jiang's mother used to be an excellent neurosurgeon in our hospital, but in the serious car accident more than 20 years ago, in order to protect her son, she was seriously injured. The injuries of the little boy’s mother are almost exactly the same, both of which are acute severe traumatic brain injuries, severe subarachnoid hemorrhage, and severe brain stem damage. Under such circumstances, every second is a lifeline. Back then, the vice president Dr. Jiang's father asked him to perform surgery on his wife, but no matter how brilliant the doctor was, he couldn't recover. The price of that incident was that Dr. Jiang's father, the best neurosurgeon at that time, did not How to pick up the scalpel again, every time I pick up the scalpel, I can't help but think of the bloody lover lying on the operating table that day. Dr. Jiang... To be honest, his performance is basically back to his twenties. Reliving the pain a few years ago." I asked in a low voice: "I didn't expect you to be so kind and tell me these cruel things. You don't want him to follow his father's old path, do you?" "It's no good if I don't want to, things that no one wants to happen happen." I nodded, the water in the pot was almost boiled dry, when Lu Erhao beckoned the waiter to turn off the fire, I quickly wiped the corners of my eyes. When it comes to love, in fact, I have never really understood him. He didn't understand the faint pain unintentionally lingering between his brows when he was young. He didn't know that in that dusty afternoon, he muttered to himself, "It would be great if there were ghosts in this world". Now I understand, but my heart hurts like someone stabbed a big hole with a knife. Lu Erhao smoked a cigarette again, "Since I've already told you this, it's not bad for the last one. If I left it before, I wouldn't have said it. I like to see people torture each other and end badly. But, I I need the confident Jiang Zimo I know, he is a friend I can get along with in this hospital, we are all weirdos in the eyes of others, you probably already called me an old fox and a pervert in your heart." This person has one advantage, that is, he has self-knowledge, "I really don't know what people like you are thinking. Even if you tell me the truth, I think you always have some bad intentions." He laughed, "Playing with idiots like you is my greatest pleasure, but I have found it very interesting since the first time I saw you, when I was on a blind date. You know, I have seen you." "Have you seen it?" I looked at him puzzled, but he raised the corners of his mouth, "Of course, Jiang Zimo's wallet has a photo of you as a student. He looks like a fool just like now. His aesthetics are really bad." I just felt that my fingers were trembling violently as if uncontrollably, but I couldn't express any expression on my face. Impossible...how can this kind of thing happen...he's lying to me again, playing tricks on me again, as expected I shouldn't have come here with him... I turned off the lights at night, and I slept on that narrow and hard escort bed. The dim street lights outside illuminated the balcony of the ward, and the potted green plants on the balcony became more and more blurred in front of my eyes, so I simply closed my eyes. I put my arm on my eyelid, and after a while, I felt a burst of heat on my arm, and then it cooled down quickly. Many pictures and sounds came to me in a chaotic manner. Little Daisy Barrette... Little Daisy's book wrapping paper... In the second year of high school, he came to my classroom to look for me and said that he had found my badge. He handed it to me with a calm voice, "When I picked up the photo, it disappeared..." Someone was walking outside the house, and there was a slight coughing sound. I turned my body to the other side, and the long corridor of the senior year involuntarily appeared in my mind, and the distant voice echoed in my ears, "Jiang Wei..." That day in math class, I took a errand and looked at the playground outside the window. The math teacher drew a circle on the blackboard, but the circle was not drawn yet, so he just looked at me, but I still looked at the familiar figure on the playground. , as if I was not in the classroom, but walked to the side of the playground, and stood watching their basketball game like the girls in other classes. I didn’t recover until the teacher hit a chalk head, and the math teacher asked me to go to the school. The blackboard was doing demonstration questions, but I didn't know which one to do. Nana who was diagonally across from me grinned at me, but I didn't know what she was gesturing to me. " I didn't nod, and I didn't dare to deny it. The math teacher got even angrier, "How dare you miss my class, isn't my class as interesting as physical education class?" There was the sound of a classmate laughing slightly below, and the math teacher slapped the stick, "Seriously, what are you laughing at? Don't you think physical education is more interesting than math, don't you?" I thought in my heart that it was over, and this touched the math teacher's sensitive nerves, and I suffered a lot. The math teacher yelled at me: "Well, Jiang Wei, you stand outside in the corridor for me now, and you are not allowed to come in without my permission, do you hear me?" No one dared to whisper in the classroom anymore, and there was a sudden silence. I walked out and stood in the long empty corridor, the voices of teachers from other classes kept coming into my ears, Lin Zhenzhen, Nana and Xiao Dan kept looking at me, I stood alone without knowing what was happening. After a while, the bell rang for the end of get out of class. The math teacher had been procrastinating. Some boys in the classroom were already pouting their mouths in dissatisfaction. Looking around outside the classroom, I heard the math teacher yelling, "Whoever dares not to listen carefully, just Stand up like Jiang Weiwei, the next class is math anyway, so you stand until school is over, I will do what I say!" The math teacher was so excited that the blackboard eraser fell to the ground. Soon the students in other classes were out of class, and I was the only one standing here in front of our classroom door, and I was punished at first glance. Someone passed by me, but the voice that was originally laughing and joking was deliberately lowered. I ignored these voices until he came from a distance from the corridor and saw me at a glance. I instinctively lowered my head, for fear of seeing even a little bit of teasing in his eyes that was similar to others. At that time, there was already a estrangement between me and him, and the indistinct estrangement hurt in my heart, but there was nothing I could do.I don't know how to take that step towards him, and he seems to be getting further and further back. Until that day, I stood like a sinner, receiving strange gazes from my classmates and teachers, but he stopped beside me, and the footsteps I had already walked slowly stopped. I lowered my eyes and watched His basketball shoes turned around, slowly, step by step, until they stopped in front of me. I saw his fingers curled up slightly, reddened because he had just exercised, I almost held my breath, and my heart seemed to jump out of my throat. "Jiang Wei..." His voice was low and long, but my head seemed lower. And he didn't continue speaking, as if the only thing he wanted to say was these two words. Soon, there was a pair of basketball shoes next to his basketball shoes, and I heard a joking male voice say to him: "What are you doing here, do you want to be punished?" His pair of shoes paused silently for a few seconds, and then moved away step by step, until I raised my head with a hot face, watching his back disappear far away, but I didn't expect that he would turn around, I Ben was staring at the back of him leaving, suddenly became unprepared, just lowered his head in a panic, I couldn't see his expression clearly, let alone whether he noticed me, but that day, I was buried in the mud My heart pushed upwards, and the dirt dust loosened a little. Jiang Zimo... Can you tell me, if you call my name like that, does it mean that the me at that time was already in your heart, just like you, in mine, doesn't it, doesn't it... Grandma will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow. This is the last day I will stay in the Affiliated Hospital of Jiangda University. This is where he works, even though he is not here now. I walked to the promenade where I left sadly that day. stood at the door of his office. Thinking of his incomparably cold eyes and words, he couldn't help curling his fingers into his palms. I lowered my head and went back the same way. My grandma was sleeping, so I didn’t want to go back and disturb her. I went downstairs alone, and when I reached the hospital lobby, my steps stopped unconsciously. I looked at the huge sign on the wall, There were introductions of doctors from various departments on it. When I looked up, I saw that familiar face, the same indifferent eyebrows, and the same dark eyes, but I felt that I couldn’t understand him. From the beginning to now, I seemed to be Never understood him.His photo was blurred in front of my eyes, and I couldn't see clearly the series of Chinese and English font introductions next to the photo. I was walking alone, and I felt like I had been walking for a long, long time. Some girls in school uniforms passed me with bright smiles. The school uniforms were novel and beautiful, and their faces were bright and youthful... Just like myself back then. I couldn't help but smile, it's just that the school uniform is much more fashionable than the simple style I used to have. I saw that there was already a lot of traffic outside the gate, there was an army of people riding bicycles, and there were also parents waiting for their children in cars. Let’s get out of school. At this point, except for those who drag the hall, there are also high school seniors who have to study at night, and they usually go home after school. . I stood at the entrance of the alley where I saw him for the first time, watching the flow of people slowly dissipate, watching the turmoil become calm. I told the security guard that I was an old alumnus here and wanted to visit my alma mater. The security guard was very unreasonable and waved his hand, "You say yes, but there is no evidence. Where did you go back and forth from?" I said it anyway, but the security guards didn't let me in. A short, middle-aged man walking on a bicycle came out of it. He was still dressed as I remembered, and he walked with a cool look on his sleeves. He also recognized me, " Are you... Jiang Wei?" "Teacher Gu, I'm Jiang Wei, I haven't seen you for many years." 我高三的政治老师，大家都亲切地称呼他老顾，他还有一个可爱的女儿，经常来我们学校玩，我们都喊她小顾，老顾和班主任是同学们最喜欢的老师，和学生之间几乎没什么距离。 老顾当年让我印象最深的是，放《灌篮高手》给全班人看，全班沸腾的情景我还记得，像是一群疯子从疯人院里跑了出来，老顾当时怕学校知道，还把门关起来，窗帘拉上去，让大家小声点不得声张，哪里像老师，倒像是带我们一起偷玩的大孩子。他拿《灌篮高手》这个动漫教育我们人生最重要的事是梦想，“青春，你们说是用来做什么的？看看《灌篮高手》，你们也许会找到答案。青春是将梦想的热血洒满的地方，就算以后你们老了回想，也会欣慰一件事情，那就是，你们虽然不为梦想而死，起码为梦想而活过。” 我看着眼前的老师，已经比印象中要衰老了不少，两鬓已有了丝丝白发，他却笑得一如以前灿烂，我跟他开玩笑道：“老师你的那些精彩演讲，我都还记得呢。还有《灌篮高手》，现在还给那些小家伙看吗？” “他们早看腻味了，说是太老的片子，现在都爱看什么《火影忍者》、《海贼王》，我最近也在追着看呢。” 我们聊了会儿，顾老师也陪不了我多久，笑着抱歉道：“我老婆催我赶紧回去吃饭呢。” “老师，这是你曾经的梦想吧？” “哈哈，让你猜对了。” 告别了顾老师，保安也不再阻拦我，让我进了校园，梦想，青春的梦想……曾经的，之后的，都仿佛留在了这块天地，留在了那段人生中最单纯的时光里。 学校还是老样子，只是很多破旧的地方修缮了，还是那样的路，那样的花园，那样的操场，那样的教学楼…… 我缓缓地走到了教学楼，有两个少女从楼里结伴出来，走得那样晚，一个扎着马尾辫的女生从我身边经过，她清脆的声音留在我耳畔，“我们赶紧去车棚，他走得最晚了，我们就在那里等他。” 我的脚步继续往前走着，却回过头去，看着她们的背影，远处，一个高高的男生手中拍打着篮球，从另外一间教室里走了出来，我看见那两个女生都低下了头，刻意地不去关注那个男生，生怕他发现她们隐藏的小心思。 我不禁会心地笑了起来。 傻丫头啊…… 我不知不觉走到了高一的教室，门已经关了起来，教室里空无一人，我看着眼前的这间教室，透明的玻璃，排放整齐的书桌，熟悉的讲台，白色的窗帘。 我看着教室后面倒数第二排的两张相邻的课桌，手指抚摸在玻璃上，像是触摸到了岁月的镜子。 他坐在那里。 我坐在那里。 一切心动在这里暗流汹涌，像是初生的种子，长成藤蔓，在整间教室蔓延。 我耳边响起自己青涩的声音，“江子墨，一年四季，你最喜欢哪个季节？” 他却是扭过头来，先问起我：“你呢？” “春天，因为百花盛开，大地都是绿色的，看着心情都会变好。” 他浅浅地笑了笑，“我也是。” 我的笑容还没有完全绽放开，他的话音又缓缓落了下来，“因为春天，很温暖。” 那时的我，听到他这句话，心里像是铺满了杏黄的稻草，阳光照在脸上，我仰面躺在稻草堆里，草穗轻扫着我的脸颊，温暖得像是全身都要融化在春日的阳光里。 离开教室，我坐在楼梯的台阶上，我和他擦肩而过时的情景仿佛就发生在身边，我靠着墙，只要一转头，就能看见。 人来人往，偷偷地，远远地看一眼，然后装作擦肩而过，眼睛就算碰在了一起，也能迅速地分开，最好的情况莫过于装作不经意地说声“嗨……” 我踱步到了操场，秋天的草坪碧绿色的，像是涂了油彩，偌大的地方，却是我孤寂一人，我坐在了主席台上，脚悬空着，呆呆地凝望着眼前这片记忆里再熟悉不过的操场。 篮球架，足球场，跳远用的沙坑，跑道…… 他在篮球场上挥汗如雨，我在人群里看着，心里默默替他加油。 那样远远的位置，我是如此快乐。 虽然，我也曾那样心碎，甚至不敢看他一眼。 如今的我呢…… 我的鼻子一阵发酸，拿出兜里的手机，在杏黄色的夕阳下泛动着陈旧的光芒，我的手指在拨号键上移动，只消陆尓豪说一次，我便轻松记得的号码。 那是我如今唯一有勇气和他说话的方式。 我怕他站在我的面前，我会连一句话都说不出来。 电话关机。 我看着西下的太阳，手心的汗黏黏糊糊的，心中糅杂了很多东西，团成一团，无法松弛开来。 若说傻，我应该是全世界最大的傻瓜。 江子墨，你知道吗？ 这些年，回忆成了我唯一爱你的方式，可我，却从来不懂你。 我不懂你的冷淡，不懂你的沉默，不懂你眼里的无情，更不懂，你隐藏的心。 Is this a dream? 若是，但愿我长睡不醒。