Chapter 27 Memories

I'm really lucky.There are many things that have not been obtained, but what you already have, you must never give up. Back in the empty home, I habitually turned on the TV and saw my own face.On the screen, I was smiling and chatting with the guests.But only I know, I was so distraught doing this episode that I wanted to smash the TV and then the wall. However, I didn't do that after all. I just turned off the TV, fell down on the sofa dejectedly, and poured myself a glass of red wine. People are emotional animals, but I am an adult after all, no more than when I was a child, I can lose my temper without guilt.After all, I have earned every flower and grass in this house by myself, and it is really not a wise person to smash it down because of a moment of anger.

Holding the wine glass and walking to the floor-to-ceiling windows, I quietly watched the bustling city.The New Year is approaching, the streets are decorated with lights and streamers, and there is a lot of traffic. Even if you look at it from a tall building, it is still a festive atmosphere. My show is on hold for two weeks because of New Years.At the same time, the job of hosting the New Year's party that I have been striving for has also fallen into the hands of others. According to some people, I have not been in a good state recently. When a person is at a disadvantage, it is like sailing against the current. If you are not careful, you will be pushed aside by the current.

This tenuous excuse cost me all my work and almost twenty days off. This is the first time I have had such a long vacation since I was twenty, and it is so lonely. I am a TV person, if I want to divide it more specifically, I am a column anchor. I was on screen all day, interviewing the hottest people of the moment, and it was a huge effort.I work, work, work day in and day out, I sacrifice all my rest time, I sacrifice my privacy, everything is for higher ratings, but also for the approval of everyone.Unexpectedly, the harder you work, the more you lose, just like running water, the speed of loss cannot be stopped at all.

When I turned back from my busy schedule, I found that the person I loved had left me before I knew it. And the person I have been watching and looking forward to no longer needs my gaze. I am not unaware.To gain a reputation that ordinary people can't imagine, you should lose more freedom than others and shoulder more responsibilities.I don't have many requirements, I just hope that there is one person who can accompany me by my side - only one person is enough. If it was before, there would always be Shen Qinyan who would accompany me.But now, he has gone to accompany others.So, in the winter when I was thirty-three years old, I suddenly discovered that no one was willing to stretch out their arms to me when I was tired.

Before I passed out completely drunk, I made a call to my assistant. I got on the plane drunkenly and sat in first class.The stewardess handed me the latest magazine and asked me if I wanted to read it.Although the hangover made me dizzy, I still caught sight of the cover of the magazine.I couldn't help laughing, because the cover was my so-called ex-boyfriend - Shen Qinyan. That's the bad thing about being a celebrity, you're often seen by acquaintances when you're completely unprepared.I asked the stewardess for a blanket, covered myself tightly, and continued to sleep. The initial impression of Shen Qinyan was just the boy following behind the senior.

He was about twenty years old then, very young, good-looking, quiet, and I was not badly impressed with him.But at that time, all my thoughts were on other things, and I didn't think about becoming friends with him-for me, he was more like a shadow behind my senior. Later, before the elder sister and Gu Chijunyuan left for Switzerland, they invited me to dinner alone.She thought that at that time I had established a firm foothold in Max and had the backing of my family, so she asked me to help take care of Shen Qinyan who had no background when possible. I didn't explain my difficulties to my senior sister, but just nodded.

As long as it is her request, I will not refuse. After that, Shen Qinyan and I gradually became acquainted. Shen Qinyan said that this person, no matter how he behaves on the screen, is always expressionless in private. He acts low-key, never embarrasses the staff, does not go to nightclubs, does not buy luxury goods, and rarely even gets drunk. Second-rate.His usual hobby is reading, he reads a lot of books, and he can memorize all good works. For example, he can memorize most of Shakespeare's works, and he can memorize large sections of text. He said that people's memory is unfathomable, like a sword, it gets brighter with sharpening.

He went back to school to study diligently, made friends with senior actors, and learned all the advantages he could learn from them. I once asked him why he worked so hard.He replied that becoming an actor is as lucky as the winner of a billion-dollar prize in the eyes of ordinary people. Only by improving one's own quality can this luck not be reduced to a useless decoration. Although he is luckier than most people, but with only luck, it is impossible for him to go so far as an actor.A clear understanding of himself is also a very important factor in his success. Many people in the industry use the profession of actor to gain fame and fortune. There are not many people who are willing to treat acting as an ordinary job, and Shen Qinyan is one of them.He's the kind of guy who'll play until he's ninety as long as the screen demands.

Although I was entrusted by my senior to become close friends with him, but thinking about it now, he has actually been taking care of me all these years. Such as cooking for me, helping me quit drinking, and giving me a hand when I was overwhelmed by the pressure of work, not to mention how much he helped me bear the pressure of my family. It's not because he's my fake ex-boyfriend that I'm giving him so much praise. In fact, even my aunt, the chairman of An's Group, thinks so. My aunt, Anle, is a well-known strong woman in the business circle with a tough style.She was twelve years older than me, exactly one round.

She was surprised to hear that Shen Qinyan and I had broken up.She didn't want to see Shen Qinyan before, but after three meetings with Shen Qinyan, she agreed to our "association". My aunt said: "If you are going to get married, he is a good candidate." She has always been moody and angry, and being able to make this evaluation is already a compliment. My grandfather started Anchor Hotels from scratch, and over the decades, they have chains around the world, so I'm kind of a rich girl. My father is the second son of my grandfather, and he fully deserves the word "love leisure and hate work", because his relationship with men and women was really chaotic, and he died of a disease beginning with the word A when he was around thirty years old.At that time, I had already remembered, and I was really impressed by my father's haggard and ghostly appearance, so I was not sensitive to the chaotic relationship between men and women later.

After my father died, my mother remarried without any pressure and left me in Anjia. The An family said it was not big, but it was not small either.Regardless of various relatives, there are also many immediate family members.My grandfather had two sons, two daughters, and an illegitimate son. Except for my father who died early, the rest of them lived very healthy lives. You can imagine what kind of family I live in. My father died early; my grandfather was indifferent to me because of my incompetent father; my grandmother was good to me, but she died very early; my uncle treated me like a little girl whose father died and mother was not around The movie didn't feel good either. My aunt has always taken care of me, and she was only eighteen or nineteen years old at that time. She took care of me until I was an adult.During this period, she took me out of Anjia and back again; she got married, gave birth to a son, and got divorced again.In the end, as the youngest daughter of the An family, she won the battle for inheritance beautifully, and finally gained power and controlled the entire An family.From now on, no one can take away a single bit of power from her. Next, she regained the custody of her son, and gradually developed the An family.Although some people say that my aunt is the only queen, but this is her attitude, like an ancient general, all the territory is won by fighting.Everyone is loyal to her, because most people are willing to follow a strong and decisive monarch. My aunt's efforts are very effective - for example, even though I hold very little shares in An's, through her effective management, my annual dividends are still very considerable, even exceeding my own income. I have a lot of respect for her.These years, as long as I stayed in Jinghai City, I would go back to An's mansion every week to meet her for dinner. But I don't want to go back more and more.My aunt's son——my cousin is getting older and older. He heard some rumors about me from somewhere, and his attitude towards me is getting colder and colder. No matter how I try to please him, it won't help. In recent years, I have had less and less contact with my aunt, so I didn't inform her when I went out this time. When I got off the plane, I got a call from my aunt. She was slightly surprised, "You went to Switzerland?" "yes." "Come back for the New Year?" I laughed, "Not coming back." My aunt is dissatisfied with me, and I know it well.But she was thousands of kilometers away, and it was useless for her to reprimand her. There are no relatives in my family, and my aunt wants to celebrate the New Year with my cousin. What am I? I hung up the phone and walked outside the airport to get a taxi. The winter in Switzerland is very cold, and the rare goose feather snow falls layer by layer, covering the streets.Vehicles passed by, leaving clear ruts on the snow. I randomly found a big hotel to stay.Lying on the bed, I thought: I have many houses, and there are Ann's hotels all over the world, but no one is my home. I wandered around Switzerland with nothing to do for a few days, wearing a thick overcoat every day, sitting in a hotel car, and asked the driver to drive from east to west, from south to north—I was carried by an iron box with four wheels, Walk through the streets of Switzerland.This country is so small, two or three days is enough to see the snow-capped mountains, forests, cities, and small towns... Whenever night falls, whether it is the city center or the suburbs, the roads on both sides become an endless sea of ​​lights, bright and beautiful. Warm, each light represents a home. And I was leaning on the car seat, drowsily thinking of a small chat with Shen Qinyan. We talked about the place we wanted to go the most, and he gave me an incredible answer: the fairy tale world. I couldn't stop laughing at that time, saying that his childlike innocence is still intact, how could there be a fairy tale world in the world? He said that he wanted to go because he didn't have one. A world like a fairy tale, pure and simple, carefree.It was a mysterious wonderland. I always feel that the world is blurred to me, I am like a pedestrian standing in the thick fog, lost my way. I like the lively and noisy environment, but I am afraid of the silence after the excitement. I know alcohol poisons the body, but I can't help but taste it. I am in the flashy circle, and I look full of flowers on the outside, but I know that these flashes will eventually dissipate. Everyone in the An family is unhappy in their marriages, luckily that doesn't make me cynical.Friends around me can meet the love of a lifetime. I have interviewed many people and respect everyone's ideas, but my own attitude towards everything is ambiguous, and I don't even have a political opinion of my own.I'm standing on a bridge covered in thick fog, not knowing where I'm going. I thought I was going to spend the New Year in this daze and loneliness until the phone rang.I gave my assistant my phone before arriving in Switzerland and got a new phone number myself.So no calls to bother me for a while - if there are calls while on vacation, what's the point of distraction? But now this call I have to get through. The other end of the phone is a senior. Just like there is only one aunt in my mind, there is only Xu Zhen who can be called a senior sister in my mind. I couldn't refuse her invitation at all, so I immediately told the driver to turn around and go to Gu's house.Their house in Switzerland is not too big, it is a small house on the outskirts of the city, with a small garden where they can grow some flowers and plants.A family of five lives here, it is very warm. Here it is necessary to talk about the husband of the senior sister - Gu Chijun. I have been to Switzerland many times over the years and witnessed the changes in their housing. When they first arrived in Switzerland, they probably had some financial difficulties, so they all lived in Gu's family.Every time I came to my house, I was ashamed to bother me, so I always made an appointment with my senior sister outside. Later, when their financial conditions were a little better, they rented a house and moved out; they didn't buy this house until after their youngest daughter was born. When I went, the senior sister was preparing the New Year's dinner, and Gu Chijun was fulfilling the responsibility of a good father, accompanying several children to decorate the Christmas tree. I gave gifts, and the children were very happy - I go to Switzerland at least twice a year, and almost every time I visit my senior's family.Because I am humorous and generous, I almost dote on the three children of the Gu family, so they all like me very much. The twins will be very excited and say "Aunt An, you are the best", and Gu Zhu will affectionately call me "Godmother" ".I probably won't have a child of my own in this life, so I only feel joy when I hear such words. Gu Chijun thanked me with a smile. The weather was too cold, and he breathed out white mist when he spoke. "An Lu, thank you." "You're welcome." He left the children playing in the yard and took me into the living room.The room was well heated, so I let out a long breath, took off my coat, and put it on my arm. I said, "It's really disturbing to visit at this time." Gu Chijun poured me a cup of hot coffee, "Of course there must be many people to celebrate the New Year. If you're not busy, just spend a few more days in Switzerland before going back, and spend more time with Xu Zhen." I laughed, "That's what I planned, Mr. Gu, don't think I've stayed too long." He smiled slightly, "How come." Gu Chijun has a very powerful ability, that is, he can always make people feel that the smile on his face is naturally flowing from his eyes, and he looks very sincere.But what he was thinking in his heart, I didn't really see through it once. After all, he was the former actor. He is the husband of my senior, and he is much older than me. In addition to his status in the film industry, I always call him "Mr. Gu" respectfully.I don't know when it started, but I realized that I might be a little afraid of Gu Chijun. He was a very intelligent actor when he was an actor, and now he is also a wise teacher when he changes his career as a university teacher.I never think that the word "smart" can be used to describe him. Smart is a shallow and impetuous word that can only describe a certain aspect of a person.Wisdom is the fruit of wisdom after the precipitation of life.When he was still in the film industry, he also lived a life of rich clothes and fine food, but after he left, he lived a life of simple food and simple food. This is the embodiment of wisdom, not cleverness. Wisdom makes his eyes see through fire, allowing him to observe the world while always maintaining reason.The only thing that made him concentrate on it was probably the love affair with his senior sister.This love affair is still being talked about as a legend.In the whole story, Gu Chijun has given a lot—it is simply a realistic version of loving Jiangshan more than beauties, a difficult choice between the two. People love to talk about this anecdote, but few people know how much psychological construction Gu Chijun needed to make this decision. It is impossible to win without giving.Because Gu Chijun's opponent is none other than Lin Jinxiu. I put down my coat and went to the kitchen to watch my senior cook. The kitchen is very warm, with a steamer and a pressure cooker on the stove, and the aroma is overflowing from the oven.I leaned against the small coffee table in the kitchen, holding hot tea and asked her, "Sister, how do you know I'm in Switzerland?" "I wanted to wish you a happy new year," Xu Zhen explained, "but your phone didn't work, so I called your assistant, and she told me your new phone number. I'm also surprised that you never come in winter through Switzerland." "Improvement," I explained, "I also feel that my trip is too casual." She glanced at me, she should have a lot to say, but after all, she didn't choose this time, she just said in a firm tone: "Anyway, let's celebrate the New Year at my house." I said: "OK." I ate with them in the evening, logically speaking, I should feel restrained when I am an outsider eating with the five members of the Gu family, but the Gu family has a very wonderful ability to treat guests, and it will not make you feel that you are "superfluous" at all. " or "exotic".Moreover, I am also a person who is particularly able to integrate into the environment at certain times. At the dinner table, we talked about the latest topics, our experience in educating children, and chatted about people we all know well. For example, Shen Qinyan and Du Li. The two of them got their marriage certificate three months ago and held a perfect wedding ceremony.I was also there at the time, so now I can recount the details of the wedding banquet in a humorous tone, such as Du Li who was too nervous and made a lot of jokes, Shen Qinyan who was too busy to find Bei, and Du Li's very humorous mother . "Xiaozhu was ill at the time, and I couldn't go back to China. It's a pity that I couldn't watch it on the spot." The senior sister said in a regretful tone. Although they couldn't go back, they also gave a big gift. Gu Chijun slightly raised his eyebrows and asked me: "How many people came to the wedding? I didn't see it on the news." "There are more than three hundred people, mainly relatives and friends of the Du family, and some from the Shen family. There are relatively few people in the circle, so there is not much news." The senior sister was startled, "Shen Qinyan's parents are here?" "Yes." I said, "They lasted the whole court. It was not easy." The senior sister rolled her eyes and sighed with a smile: "For the Shen family, this is progress." "Yes, I thought so too." After dinner, Gu Chijun took the children out to set off fireworks, and Xu Zhen and I sat in the living room, slowly unpacking the gifts and postcards on the coffee table, most of which were sent from China. I saw the biggest package at a glance—unsurprisingly, it was from Lin Jinxiu. He is really a person who wants to show his presence at all times.I couldn't help raising the corners of my mouth and laughing silently. When I met my senior, I had already decided on the direction of my life. I decided to give up entering the family business and turn to a career that attracted more attention.I have no interest in inheriting the An family, and I don't think I have my aunt's communication skills, nor will I argue with my aunt because of a career I don't like. I have read a lot of psychological monographs, and psychologists analyzed that: People who are willing to appear in front of the camera often are people who are eager to be watched by others.At least I walked in front of the screen because I was eager to be watched by others, and became a host. I am alert enough to activate the atmosphere, and good at observing words and expressions, and I like the sense of accomplishment of controlling the audience. In order to achieve my goal, I worked hard to build a good relationship with Lin Jinxiu. The relationship between the An family and the Lin family can be considered to have a long history.I've known him since childhood, though far from familiar.After my aunt took power, I had more chances to get in touch with Lin Jinxiu.I know that his intelligence and sensitivity are definitely not comparable to those of ordinary aristocratic children. I am about the same age as Lin Jinxiu.He is very kind to me, and he never lacks politeness on the scene. Every year on my birthday, he will give me gifts, and occasionally invite me to some private parties. Lin Jinxiu's reputation outside is not bad, the only problem is that he always changes his female partner - although I can't say that I like him, if he asks me anything, I will not refuse.I don't look bad, and I think my temperament is not bad, at least it must be higher than the average level of his girlfriends, but he doesn't seem to be interested in me, and he never expressed anything, so for a while I didn't know what I should be Disappointed or happy. The strange thing is that although he has many female companions, the relationship between men and women is not chaotic, and none of them have really developed to the level of male and female friends.He has a precise ruler in his heart, and he always accurately measures the distance that should be kept between him and them. There is not even a decent scandal in the so-called high society circle. I realized later that he was simply enjoying the feeling of being adored and loved. He is high above the sky, like an emperor, smiling and watching the hearts of girls sacrificed one after another.It made him feel that he was alive and meaningful. So he has always kept a subtle distance from me, because we are the same type of people, we are all the scheming type, we will know what the other party wants very quickly, and we can make deals happily. In Lin Jinxiu's view, I am too utilitarian and not pure enough. I have read Jung's book, he divided human archetypal personality into four types: masks, shadows, anima and animus, and one, self.The personality mask is the outermost layer of a person's personality, which conceals the real self. It is somewhat similar to the concept of "role-playing" in sociology, which means that a person's behavior is to cater to others' expectations of him.Lin Jinxiu is obviously the kind of person whose personality mask far surpasses other personalities. His mask is more real than the real him. So I didn't expect Lin Jinxiu to really like a woman. Xu Zhen has a very special place in his heart, and I noticed it from the very beginning. The vast majority of people thought that it was because of Lin Jinxiu that I met Xu Zhen—I dare say, including the senior sister herself. Only I know that my friendship with Xu Zhen has absolutely nothing to do with Lin Jinxiu. After Lin Jinxiu knew that Xu Zhen and I were close, he frowned in a rare way, and warned me on the sidelines, implying that I was not allowed to say "useless things" in front of Xu Zhen.How could Lin Jinxiu, who was always wearing a mask, care so much about someone?I once thought wickedly that this rare outpouring of true feelings may be regarded as the embodiment of his "self". Many things happened before and after, and I was fortunate to have been on the sidelines, and I couldn't help but feel that fate has tricked people. Lin Jinxiu is not indifferent. In fact, he is quite tolerant sometimes, but his feelings are limited, like a bottle of water. All the feelings are given to Xu Zhen, and there is no weight for others. For Lin Jinxiu, Xu Zhen has already become an unforgettable symbol. On the third day of the new year, I met Shen Qinyan and Du Li at the hotel.Because of their newly married relationship, they looked happy—not in harmony with the cold Europe.So I thought to myself, just like the TV series, all the related people are gathered together. I joked with Shen Qinyan, "Come to Switzerland for honeymoon in cold weather?" He said: "Ali said she wanted to go skiing, so she came here." Shen Qinyan really loved Du Li to the extreme. Du Li saw me and said happily, "Sister An Lu, are you also in Switzerland?" I didn't tell them that I came to Switzerland alone. "Then let's go skiing!" I didn't answer, but looked at Shen Qinyan first.Du Li has no plans, maybe she doesn't know that it's not good to have an outsider like me during the wedding trip. Shen Qinyan shook his head at me, and welcomed me to join the Ski Corps, "If you don't mind, let's go together?" It is necessary to introduce Du Li, the current wife of my ex-boyfriend. This girl Du Li is the happiest kind of girl, her life is enviable.She was lovely, with a baby face and big eyes, and she looked no older than twenty.Her family background is superior, her family relationship is harmonious, her appearance is cute enough, and she has a genius head. Beauty, money, talent, she has everything, so she can go after what she wants.Raised with love and care, she could have turned into a saucy girl.It may be because of her good tutoring, or because she was immersed in the computer world during the time she developed the habit of being coquettish, so her character is naive rather than coquettish. Yes, it is naive. The innocence of genius. I think it was because of that innocence that Shen Qinyan fell in love with her.Du Li's pure temperament made her still lack the self-consciousness of being a wife after marriage, and she didn't even have the appearance.She even carried that big bag - which contained her computer and a series of electronic products, and she carried it wherever she went, and never left it with others. She is very good at sitting in front of the computer, but she is far less savvy in life than online.Her vertical and horizontal place is not physics, not mathematics, but the network.The profundity of the online world is not inferior to real life at all, so while she has a genius head, she is not completely ignorant of world affairs. I once told Lin Jinxiu with emotion that sometimes I really envy Shen Qinyan.Although Lin Jinxiu didn't answer me directly at that time, I could see his approval from his eyes. He told me that he was really lucky to meet such a perfect girl.It took him a full ten years to finally walk out of the shadow of the past and find someone worthy of love for the rest of his life.For him, there will be no second chance like this, and he must grasp it well, so he can no longer play my fake boyfriend. At that time, I really didn't expect that he would treat a woman with such feelings. For a moment, his mood was so complicated that it was difficult to describe, both ups and downs. Although I don't love him, I also feel a little lost.What kind of woman could fascinate him so much? Later, I met Du Li and finally got the answer. This answer makes me throw in the towel. I sigh to myself. In the Alps, summer is a good place to escape the summer heat, and winter is the most beautiful ski resort in the world. The ski trails can be hundreds of meters long and the slopes are excellent. Gliding down is like flying among the clouds. Skiing is something that requires skill and talent.I'm considered a middle-level expert, Shen Qinyan is not bad, and the senior sister and Gu Chijun's family I called are also quite good, because they are all considered sports experts and come here to ski every year. The worst one was Du Li. Her appearance can only be described as "sad". Shen Qinyan taught her hand in hand, but she was clumsy, uncoordinated, and fell down countless times. Even the three children of the Gu family It's not as good, we are terrified to see it.Shen Qinyan didn't allow her to continue the challenge at all, and took her directly to the lounge. I rented the venue, and I followed her as the host, and said to her, "Forget it, take a break first." Her face was covered with snow, and she looked at me with a mournful face, "Sister An Lu, how can you do everything well? Sister Xu Zhen is also... you are all." She was like a child at this time, and I comforted her, "There are many things I can't do well." Shen Qinyan slapped the snowflakes off her body, annoyed and funny, "Let's find a ski resort to practice after we go back." "No matter how much you practice, you won't be able to learn it!" she said sullenly, completely immersed in frustration. "It was I who proposed to come skiing... What a shame." "What's the matter?" Shen Qinyan rubbed her calf, "Does it hurt?" "pain!" After chanting, she took out the computer from her bag, opened a skiing game angrily, and whispered something like "I really can't do anything but play with the computer". I smiled, lost my temper, and acted like a spoiled child, the prerogatives of a girl in her twenties.I stopped bothering them and took the cable car back to the top of the mountain. Although she was a little clumsy in sports, in every sense, Du Li was very suitable for Shen Qinyan. Marrying a celebrity naturally has many negative effects-for example, people will watch you when you go to the street, and you will be secretly photographed and posted on Weibo when you eat.I once interviewed a famous actor who won a lifetime achievement award and asked him if he had any regrets in his life. After thinking for a long time, he smiled bitterly and said: his wife and daughter never go out with him. But all the problems are not a problem for Du Li. She is not in the entertainment industry at all, and she doesn't like to go out. She is in the IT industry and the film and television industry. She has nothing to do with it, so she naturally lives happily. As an actor, it is natural for Shen Qinyan to have emotional scenes with other women in movies.Du Li is not very interested in movies. Her attitude is very open-minded. She doesn't mind Shen Qinyan in the movie talking about love with others at all.She once told me clearly: This is just a job and it doesn't matter at all.It is impossible for Shen Qinyan to do a fake show, and she is very confident that Shen Qinyan will not change his mind. Her confidence is justified.I have always believed that most good actors have personality flaws, and the better the actor, the bigger the flaws. If Gu Chijun's flaws are conceit and pride, Shen Qinyan's flaws are not only indifference, but also emotional stubbornness. So, for them, all problems are no problem. The only problem is Du Li's father.As far as I know, Du Li's father didn't approve of his daughter's association with big stars at first, but fortunately, Du Li's mother was very satisfied with Shen Qinyan, and she completely stood in Du Li's phalanx and supported their relationship with both hands. So in the end, they are still married and will surely live together for decades. I woke up feeling light-headed and knew I was sick. I claim to be the type of person with good physical fitness, but I didn't expect to get sick in a foreign country.After all, it is not suitable for this severe cold climate.I poured myself a cup of hot water, wrapped myself in a quilt and leaned against the head of the bed to drink it slowly. For the first time, I took a serious look at the luxurious furnishings in the house——for the first time, I realized that I really shouldn’t have booked such a large room, it’s too empty , The warm air from the air conditioner is simply not enough to heat such a large space. My body feels cold and dizzy.Will I always be locked in a room like this, and no one will know about birth, old age, illness, and death? Then there was a knock on the door, it was Shen Qinyan and Du Li. Today's snow is getting heavier, and they are also trapped in the hotel, so they come to me to play. Looking at their faces, I smiled for some reason.Oh, it turns out that I won't die of illness alone. I don't know how bad my complexion was to make Shen Qinyan's expression change, and he immediately picked up the phone to call for a doctor.I stopped him and just said to take medicine. So Shen Qinyan called the front desk and asked them to bring a thermometer and a medical kit. Du Li sat on the edge of the bed and looked at me worriedly, "Sister An Lu, you must have caught a cold while going skiing yesterday." "It's possible," I said with a slight smile, "I didn't expect the winter in Switzerland to be so cold." "Yeah, it's much colder than Jinghai." Du Li said with emotion, "Sister An Lu, haven't you been here before?" In fact, I couldn't cheer up at all, but I didn't want to take away her kindness, so I shook my head and replied, "I haven't been here in winter." "Oh——" She tilted her head and thought for a while, "Sister An Lu, you should have told us when you came, why did you think of coming by yourself?" Yeah, why would you think you came here alone? I kept silent, shook my head wearily, and covered my eyes with my hands. You can tell lies, but you are so tired that you don't even have the strength to tell lies. Shen Qinyan handed me a glass of warm water, and looked at me with complicated eyes for a while. I didn't say anything, I knew he saw it, maybe even earlier. He just turned his face away in silence, and said to Du Li: "Someone is knocking on the door, Ah Li, go and open the door." I lay in the hotel for two days, and finally the cold was completely cured. Turn over the calendar, the holidays are almost over.The assistants called one after another, saying that XX wanted to find me, that XX column invited me to attend... and so on. I left Switzerland early, but the purpose of coming here has been achieved anyway.Before leaving, my senior sister drove me to the airport, and we drank coffee slowly at the coffee shop at the airport. "You came to Switzerland alone?" I was asked the obvious question when I was leaving.I smiled wryly in my heart, my senior has been Mrs. Gu for a long time, and learned Gu Chijun's roundabout way of asking questions, and asked me if I have a partner now. "It's a person." I replied without changing my face. After we separated from Wenqing last year, I didn't bother to manage a relationship anymore.I did a lot for her, but the results were exploited and cheated, and it's frustrating just thinking about it. "An Lu, I've been wondering why you came to Switzerland for vacation at this time. After reading a lot of news in the past few days, I realized that you seem to have encountered some difficulties in your work, right?" She said cautiously Say. I rolled my eyes and smiled, "The so-called burnout period, I can't bring out the image of a strong woman every minute." She was taken aback, then smiled and nodded after a while. "It's because I didn't think too carefully." She sighed, "You are so capable, sometimes I forget that you are also tired." I felt sore, and said softly, "No, no, senior sister, I'm glad you care about me." "In short, if you don't think I'm long-winded, I want to say—" She paused, raised her face slightly, and looked at me with the eyes of an elder looking at a child, "I can imagine how much work you have Tired, if you are too tired alone, you might as well find someone to accompany you." How could I feel that she is long-winded?So I replied meekly: "Yes, I think so too. But this person is hard to come by." She filled her glass with water. "There's one more thing I want to tell you," she said earnestly, "Xiaozhu has already gone to elementary school. So I think, after the next year, I plan to go out to work." I said joyfully and eagerly: "It's really great!" The senior sister smiled, "You are happier than me." I'm really happy for her. "What kind of work does senior sister plan to do?" "There was an internship position at a bank and I wanted to try it out," she said. I nodded again and again, "Not bad!" It doesn't matter what job she does, as long as she can get out of the family and face the society, it is a good change. 她被套牢在家庭里已经太多年了，以我的浅见，这是一段足以磨灭灵性的时间。最好的年华献给了丈夫和孩子，自己却什么都没剩下。想起Max最近大红大紫的一部电视剧，说的是三十五岁的女主角和家财万贯的老公离了婚，再次走向社会重新学习的故事。 广播里响起了催促登机的声音。 我起身，她抱住了我，轻轻拍着我的肩膀。 “安露，我每次看到你在电视上那神采奕奕的样子，都觉得自己还可以再努力一下，不能一辈子都被局限在家庭中。”她在我耳边轻声说，“谢谢你给我的动力。” 我走进登机口。 阳光从候机大厅的玻璃幕墙透过来，洒在我的脚下。我拖着行李大步走进那片灿烂的阳光中。迎着明亮的光线，我的眼泪决堤而下，怎么也止不住。 若说在社会上，存在一种和普通人截然不同的人，大概就是娱乐圈的名人了。他们是每个人心中的过客，带着一圈浮华的光影，却几乎不能在别人心中留下什么。他们认识了很多的人，可真正能够促膝谈心的却越发稀少。 我坐在飞机上，视线一直停留在窗外。俯瞰地面，这座城市离我越来越远，就像广袤大地上的一盆精致的盆景。我搜寻着一切可以辨认的目标，街道、教堂、车辆——芸芸众生，来来往往，劳劳碌碌，普普通通，却搭建起了硕大的舞台。 我知道，他们中的大多数都是平凡的人，真正志得意满功成名就的毕竟不多。 所以我真的很幸运。没有得到的固然很多，但已经拥有的，就绝对不能放弃。 我的工作，让我得到了众人的肯定和喜欢，也是我存在的意义。 忽然听到有人叫我，“请……请问，您是安露小姐？” 我缓缓地侧过头。 我的邻座是个年轻的女孩，她有着秀气的眉眼，神色腼腆，很紧张，连搁在扶手上的双手都在微微地颤抖。她怯生生却满眼兴奋地看着我，“安小姐，我非常喜欢您和您的节目。我……我真是太意外了，没想到能在飞机上看到您……” 往常，我对粉丝总是客气而疏离，而此时我却微微笑了笑，轻轻颔首。 "it's me."