Chapter 11 Chapter Eleven

I have always felt that the most useless part of a person is the heart. The "heart" that is not the "heart" is the heart that has feelings. When a man and a woman get along, once the true feelings are touched, they will be entangled endlessly, worrying about gains and losses, and doing nothing. I will never allow myself to open my heart to any man again in this life. I handed it over once when I was 21 years old, but the infatuated heart of Lao Yanfenfei, who graduated from college, was thrown back by the other party, broken and incomplete. The person who crushed my heart into dust is called Lu Zhanqiang.

From then on no more romance.In the blink of an eye, 6 years have passed, and he has gradually become a reinforced iron frame, which is invulnerable to the five poisons. But when I saw Chu Chen for the first time, my heart still moved.It is the heart of the heart, not the heart with feelings. My heart was beating fast, and my face was flushed red.I heard myself asking him: "Does Mr. Yu like this dormitory?" The voice was not like my own. Chu Chen smiled: "It's just a temporary stay, Miss Ye, don't bother me too much." I took the opportunity to say, "Call me Ephem."

Yu Chuchen is the technical assistant of the Beijing headquarters of Kadi Plate Making Company. He came to Shanghai to help me professionally.Shanghai Kadi has begun to take shape, but has not yet officially operated, and many technical problems have yet to be resolved. I handed him the key to the dormitory, and couldn't stop thanking him: "There may be a lot of work in the future, and we often work overtime. I'm afraid you will have a hard time." Chu Chen still smiled: "Don't be afraid, working the night shift is about physical strength, I will never lose to you girls."

Until the way home, I was still thinking about Yu Chuchen's frown and smile, which is really refreshing and elegant. Such a demeanor is very rare in today's commercial society, like a gloomy cloud shining through a gap of sunshine. As early as the age of 21, I have understood that all the beautiful things in the world are mostly unreal, including people. I wonder what Yu Chuchen's shadow is. But a series of facts later made me start to overthrow myself: Yu Chuchen arrived at the company at 9 o'clock sharp every morning, did not have the bad habit of staying in bed, took taxis for meals and reimbursed them, never falsely reported accounts, and never took advantage of work to help girls. The student is mopping up.The most rare thing is that he smiles at everyone and everything, and remains calm and calm even if there are troubles in the operation.

I am more and more attracted to him every day. On the weekend, I plucked up the courage to send out an invitation: "Mr. Yu, would you like to have a light meal after get off work?" He thought about it and smiled: "Unless you cook yourself." "Of course." My heart was immediately filled with joy. I've been walking lightly all day, like I've been on a steroid. 27 years old, not too young, my mother called me every night to urge me to talk about marriage early.But professional white-collar workers with a monthly salary of over 10,000 yuan are easy to play love games, but if they really want to get married, it’s the so-called high and low. What about a fledgling young man with empty hands and empty hands, I don't want to post him if he doesn't avoid suspicion.There was a Yu Chuchen in front of me, and I secretly encouraged myself not to give up.

As early as three days ago, I found out that Mr. Yu was 3 years older than me. He just came back from the United States to study for a Ph. D. last year, and he was not married yet.I thought maybe he was waiting for me.Ha, as long as you have a good opponent, why not pretend to be innocent? When I got off work, there was a long-distance call from overseas, and the secretary, Xiao He, raised his voice and called: "Mr. Yu, American long-distance call." Yu Chuchen walked into the manager's room and looked at me, very hesitant.I was interested, and immediately said: "I'll go and see how the drum scanner is installed."

As soon as he walked out, Chu Chen immediately closed the door.I was a little stunned, Chu Chen didn't seem like such a ghostly person, why was he so rude? We couldn't have dinner together that night, and he declined me: "I have a headache, and I want to go back to the dormitory to rest early. Miss Ye's kindness, I can only get it another day." I forced a smile: "I said I called my name, and it's a foul again." After all, I can't drag him away by force, so I can only return to myself. After thinking about it, I made a plate of fruit salad and put it in a lunch box and sent it to the dormitory to the porter. Ask him to pass it on to Chu Chen.

The next morning when I received a call from Chu Chen, the voice was full of sunshine, probably the bad mood had passed, and I said sincerely: "Yi Fei, you are so caring, I really want to thank you, it is the best salad I have ever eaten. " I laughed: "I hope I didn't spoil my stomach." "On the contrary, I'm fresh and strong. How about we go bowling?" He finally took the initiative to invite me.I was overjoyed and immediately put on a brand new dress and opened the door to go out. Chu Chen was already waiting at the entrance of the arena. When he saw me, he immediately praised: "The dress is very beautiful." The courtesy is thoughtful.

Chu and Chen are skilled in the game, and I am also well-trained. The scores between the two are evenly matched.But in the third game, I was a little timid, and only scored 7 points with two consecutive goals.Chu Chen immediately proposed a temporary truce. He went to buy a soda, and I stood by the adjacent fairway and watched the others play.Someone passed by me, caught him, and felt very familiar. I was startled, and I strode to catch up, shouting: "Zhan Qiang, why are you here?" When the other party turned around, I was taken aback, it was a stranger.I stopped, feeling empty for a moment.Lu Zhanqiang, the person I hate the most, but when we met suddenly, I lost my love.

At this time, Chu Chen had already picked up two cans of Coke and came over. Seeing my expression changed, he was very concerned: "Yifei, are you feeling unwell?" "I saw an acquaintance. Oh no, I saw someone who looked like an acquaintance." I spoke incoherently, and felt infinitely bitter. 6 years, 6 years of hard work, it turned out to be flower guns.Countless times, he imagined what he would do if he met Lu Zhanqiang in the future, but in the end, he only saw a person who looked a little like him, and he lost his composure to this point. I forced myself to say: "Chu Chen, let's compete again."

"Forget it, why don't you go to the coffee shop upstairs for a while." Chu Chen said considerately, went to the management office to settle the payment, and helped me get my shoes back. After sitting down for a long time, I still had to be overwhelmed with red wine to be able to speak normally. "I fell in love with someone when I was in college." For 6 years, I have not said a word about this matter. I have suppressed it for too long and longed to talk. I decided to tell the truth to Chu Chen. "We have been in love for 4 years and decided to get married as soon as we graduated. But before graduation, he suddenly turned to pursue the vice principal's niece in order to stay in school, so he decided to break up with me. And I found out that I was pregnant after graduation. My parents felt ashamed and gave me a sum of money to go to Shanghai The name took the child away. I did so, and I never want to go back to Ningbo.” After finishing the past in a few sentences, I found bitterly that what I used to think was a major matter of life and death, but it turned out to be so old-fashioned when I said it. You can find similar plots in any third-rate romance novels. It hurts so much. In fact, when I think about it, even when I was the most heartbroken, the sun still rose, the stars still twinkled, and everything in the world did not change the slightest because of my sadness. I am just a drop in the ocean, the most ordinary grain in the world of mortals, but Chu Chen was deeply moved by me, and said softly: "Looking at your appearance, you are so strong and cheerful. I never thought you had suffered so much. But the matter is over, As long as you really loved each other back then, you don’t have to suffer anymore when it’s over.” It was the first time in many years that I heard such thoughtful words, and I was so sad that I couldn't help but shed tears. Chu Chen stopped comforting me, handed me a tissue, and sighed softly: "I hope one day I can have the courage to confess like you." Since I came back from the arena, my relationship with Chu Chen has developed rapidly. He treats me like a close friend, like a brother, like a younger sister, but he is still not a lover.He has been avoiding the discussion of relationship issues, I feel sad, does he dislike me?But it's not like it. One day, the secretary asked me to sign the mail, and suddenly found that the edge of a large envelope with a special color was worn out, and the corner of the photo was faintly exposed.I peeked out and saw that there were English letters on the envelope, and it was for Chu Chen.I knew it well, and after I signed it, I deliberately said lightly: "Letters from the manager level are placed with me first, and I will hand them over to them later, and then send them out during the lunch break of the rest of the employees, so as not to affect the work mood." I swung the envelope from side to side a few times, and one side was completely opened, and a stack of photos fell down. I deceived myself: I didn't want to see it, but the photos fell out by themselves.With a beating heart, I picked it up and took a closer look, but it was not what I imagined, it was not a scene of Chu Chen making out with his foreign girlfriend, but a photo of a blond man with him. So I took my heart back into my body again, and I rang the bell to ask the secretary to notify Chu Chen to come in and file in advance: "Your letter, the long-distance mail envelope is damaged, our country's post office is really..." Before the play was finished, Chu Chen had already grabbed the envelope in his hand and asked sharply, "Have you read it?" "I didn't. No, I mean I didn't read the letter, but saw a few photos. I didn't mean to..." I was very surprised, the veins on Chu Chen's forehead were exposed, like seeing a ghost.I asked with a guilty conscience, "Did something drop?" Chu Chen was determined, and replied: "No." He hurried out. After less than ten minutes, he turned back again, lowered his head and said, "I was too rude just now, I'm sorry. Can I treat you to dinner at noon?" Of course I was eager, but I also knew that he didn't do it out of his own will, and the meal was absolutely uncomfortable, so I politely said: "Another day. I have an appointment with a client at noon today. I shouldn't be curious about the photo, please forgive me." Chu Chen understood my hint, and seeing that I agreed to keep the secret, he seemed to be relieved: "Okay, I will invite you tomorrow, and I hope I won't be preempted again." After that, our friendship between gentlemen was still as cold as water. I tried several times, but I couldn't make our relationship go any further. I was so discouraged that I almost wanted to give up. Three months later, Chu Chen's term of office has expired and he is about to return to the Beijing headquarters.Seeing that I would never have a chance if I didn't reveal it, I decided to put all my eggs in one basket and asked him to a hotel showdown. After three glasses of wine, I’ve exhausted all the pleasantries for the company and for the individual, so I managed to go far and wide and turn the topic around to the big marriage, and asked him: “You have such good qualifications but you’ve been single all the time. eyes?" Chu Chen said nothing, but slowly lowered his head. I felt sorry for Meng Lang and was very embarrassed, so I hurriedly said, "It's me, Sanba, I shouldn't ask you these things." Just as I was about to end the conversation with a few more polite words, Chu Chen suddenly raised his head and said, "It's not you, it's me who is too petty to be honest and open." He spoke so solemnly that I couldn't respond.I stared blankly at him, only to see him raising his wine glass, pondering for a while, as if he was sinking his boat: "Do you know what this is made of?" "Glass, what's the matter?" I was surprised, feeling faintly that something was wrong. I just heard him squeeze out a word from the teeth: "There is a kind of person, people also use this term instead, you know?" In the blink of an eye, I suddenly understood all the secrets, and I was so scared that I almost didn't spill the champagne.It's so surprising, gentle and excellent as Yu Chuchen, who is regarded by many girls as the perfect prince charming in their dreams, who has broken sleeves? I stared at him and said for a long time, "You, why are you..." Suddenly, I realized that my voice was trembling violently, so I quickly shut my mouth. However, Chuchen was already injured, so he said, "I'm sorry for scaring you." He seemed to want to get away, but he felt that he should explain something to me, so he lowered his head and said quickly, "You can also guess the difficulties of poor Chinese students studying in the United States. I got it, if I don’t want to be exploited by my tutor, I have to wash dishes in a restaurant. I’m nervous about my studies, and I’m so mentally stressed that I often want to scream at the wall. Lawrence, who was in the same room once, persuaded me to take drugs to relieve my insanity. I quit, but there was no way to get rid of his entanglement until I returned to China. I told him several times that I would break it off, but he sent photos and threatened me to make our relationship public..." His face gradually distorted, and he finally got up and walked away in a hurry.I was left sitting there dumbfounded. His words hit the eardrums over and over again, and a distorted face gradually became frozen in my mind.Oh, I am so cruel, forcing others to take off their clothes in public and explain their injuries one by one.In fact, what responsibility does he have to me?Why bother explaining to me?He once said that he was grateful for my sincerity, and hoped that one day he would have the courage to confess like me, but how did I treat his confession? I sat quietly and thought about it. Women in the rivers and lakes are not surprised. No matter what kind of floods and beasts they face, they will calmly come out and run in the rivers and lakes. However, my performance is worse than that of an 18-year-old female middle school student.But why am I making such a fuss and overreacting to this point? Just because I care too much about Chu Chen. At last I answered myself with such affirmation: only because I have united myself with him, and before him I have no pretense of experience and is as pure as a newborn baby.I love him! Yes, I love him!Love him like you love your ideal.And he is not committing adultery and committing serious crimes, he is just an anomaly in choosing a spouse, and I lost my composure to this point, completely ignoring his self-esteem.Ye Yifei Oh Ye Yifei, how shallow and rude you are! I was so ashamed that I finally grabbed my handbag and chased out the door. The car drove straight to Kadi's dormitory. When Chu Chen came to open the door, his face was very calm, and he said lightly, "Welcome." The more he behaved like this, the more I felt heartbroken and blamed myself. I knew he must be so embarrassing in his heart to be so calm. I held his hand and confessed: "Chu Chen, thank you for confessing to me, but would you like to listen to me? confession? I was afraid you would laugh and I never had the courage to tell you my secret - I love you so much!" Chu Chen was startled: "But I said just now..." "I don't care. Chu Chen, do you care that I'm not a virgin?" Chu Chen hugged me tightly.After letting go for a while, he said, "But Lawrence threatened me, saying that he would make the photos public." "What can a good friend take a photo to show?" I didn't allow him to avoid me, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Let's get married, no one will believe Lawrence's words." "Married?" Chu Chen was stunned, but his face gradually brightened, and finally he smiled brightly, "Yes, as long as I am willing to forget, no one can force me to remember the past. When we get married, who will ask the bottom line?" Yes, a jade tree facing the wind, and a delicate flower reflecting the water, are both talented and beautiful characters. In the eyes of others, isn't it a beautiful couple?We are together, the whole world will be envious, who will make irresponsible remarks?Besides, even if it does, who cares?The important thing is that I love him, he loves me, and we get married! I was full of joy, but put on a serious face and deliberately challenged: "But you haven't proposed to me yet." Chu Chen laughed, and immediately knelt down on one knee: "Please accept my ruby ​​and diamond wedding ring!" With a red mouth and white teeth, he gently held my ring finger. "Chu Chen!" I cheered, threw myself into his arms, and put my head close to his chest. I heard something beating in there, and I knew it was a heart, a heart of a heart, a heart with feelings . I also have such a heart, full of love, full of tenderness.