Chapter 10 Chapter 10 The Fire Moth

No one believed that Mr. Hu Feng would be lonely. His paintings are priced at tens of thousands, his wife is outstandingly beautiful, and his disciples respect him like a god.But the desolation and helplessness locked between his brows still lingered like a thick cloud. Teacher Hu Feng said: "Beauty is lonely, because beauty is fragile and short-lived. For example, the last blush of the sunset, the light touch of pollen on the wings of a butterfly, the colorful sunlight refracted by the dewdrops on the tip of grass at the beginning of the rising sun, and the beauty on the face of a girl. Touching embarrassment - all flashes and flashes, fleeting. Love and inspiration can only be pursued, not forced. This is the greatest contradiction and pain for a painter. The purpose of painting is to try to make the beauty of the moment appear on the canvas eternal."

He is more of a poet than a painter.Such a sensitive heart, such affectionate eyes, my gaze collided with his gaze above the classroom, his eyes lit up, I suddenly lowered my head, covered my hot cheeks with long hair, my heart collided . In this portrait class, I did not draw the pretentious model as required, but Hu Feng.I traced his outline with my heart, the lines on his face are clear and sharp, the corners of his mouth are slightly mocking, but his eyes are extremely sincere and deep, hiding indescribable suffering. I was painting, weeping for no reason.What I drew is clearly my own heart.

When the homework was handed out, I waited nervously, holding my breath, eager to know his evaluation of me.The homework was distributed to the students one by one, and he didn't return it to me without mine. I was stunned, but I didn't dare to ask because I was guilty. Studying in the evening, my heart was unbelievably restless, and finally got up suddenly, and went to Hu Feng's office recklessly. He walked more and more anxiously, but finally stopped in front of his door, unable to knock on the door. Through the glass window, I saw Hu Feng's back. He was meditating on a painting on the easel, my painting!

I couldn't see his expression, but he stood so straight and steady, as if he had been fixed in front of the painting, as if he had been waiting for the painting for 100 years, and he didn't even know that the cigarette butt was about to burn out.I can't help being touched, I can't help being grateful. A sword rewards a confidant, and a pearl is given to a beauty. The paintings I made with my heart are appreciated by him with all my heart. What happiness! Suddenly, he seemed to be burned by a cigarette butt, and hurriedly threw away the cigarette butt and turned around.Our eyes met again through the glass window, collided unhindered, crackling.I looked at him with deep admiration, as if I wanted to look at him into eternity.

After a long while, Hu Feng took the painting off the shelf, opened the door and walked out. I looked at him, and gradually, gradually my heart throbbed, and my voice was almost inaudible: "Teacher, I came to apply for the Academy of Fine Arts because of your fame .” He didn't know if he heard it, smiled lightly, and handed the painting back to me: "It's a good painting, you have a bright future, so paint well." He nodded in a gentlemanly manner and then turned around without hesitation. left. Abandoning me, standing alone at the end of the corridor, my heart was full of huge waves.

Hu Feng avoided me deliberately from now on, it was too deliberate, and I couldn't help but suspect that he actually cared about me.There are often classmates who are invited by him to be guests at home, and I am the only one who has not been invited.After the students who had been to the Hu Mansion came back, they were full of praise for Mrs. Hu's beauty. I couldn't help interjecting: "Is it because of Mrs. Hu's beauty that Teacher Hu is so dedicated to her?" "Single-minded?" The classmates laughed, and then a well-informed person told me that Hu Feng had been married four times, and now Mrs. Hu is his fourth wife, and three of them, including his wife, were once Hu Feng. Wind students.Every time he falls in love and divorces, he will cause a storm in the city and cause a sensation in the school. Perhaps it is because of this reason that he has been unable to be promoted to a full professor.However, people have always had mixed opinions on Hu Feng's "love heart", because although he divorced and remarried frequently, he always only aimed at one woman for a period of time, and never drove two cars and stepped on two boats. In the event of a divorce, he will give up all the property other than the house to his ex-wife.Therefore, even though he has been famous for many years, he is still living in poverty, and his life is very poor.People say: "There are few romancers who go out of their way to break the bank."

It is like this, my confused heart seems to be wide open, and I have learned something, and it seems to pour into more fog, making me even more confused.The Hu Feng I know is clearly more than calm, but not enthusiastic enough. There is too much distance between him and the legendary romantic knight who fights for love without hesitation, or am I wrong, Hu Feng has never cared about me?However, I can't give up my attention and desire for him. I spent four years in college while worrying about gains and losses.After graduation and internship, we came to Zhangjiajie to sketch.In the mountains far away from the hustle and bustle, every tree and every wind seems to have life, as if they are telling, telling many unknown long-term stories buried in the mountains.Many years later, my heart and my love will also be recorded by this grass and tree, and then blown by the wind and told to later people.But at the moment, it is silent, so silent that I almost suffocate.

Hu Feng walked among the students, giving pointers from time to time, and when he came behind me, he stopped.I refrained from turning my head back, and only traced with my heart a piece of stone that was exposed to the wind and was full of wind and frost. On the stone, the outline of a person's face faintly appeared, as cold and hard as the stone, and as vicissitudes as the stone. It's Hu Feng! My eyes gradually filled with tears, and the picture was blurred. Finally, I painted the last stroke vigorously and turned around.Hu Feng has already left.I was so desperate, I quietly took out the drawing paper, crumpled it up, turned and walked away.

I don't know how long I walked, I stopped in the valley, and yelled to the overcast sky at some point: "Hu Feng—Hu Feng—" My throat was about to bleed, and the valley responded to my cry. The shouts, the mountains are continuous, and the "Hu Feng" is handed out for a long time.My whole body and mind were permeated by a great sorrow. I sat down with my knees hugged in the valley, and the wind blew past me quietly. Two lines of cold tears flowed silently, and were blown dry by the mountain wind. The loneliness no one knows. I don't know how much time I spent like this. It wasn't until the thunder was faint and approaching that I realized that I was lost.The mountain rain came as soon as it was said, the dark clouds gathered rapidly, the sky and the earth suddenly became dark, and occasionally lightning pierced the clouds, it seemed that I was the only one left in the world.

I stood in the valley and shouted Hu Feng's name loudly, with grief in my heart and tears streaming down my face, when I saw Hu Feng's figure appearing on the ridge.Huge thunder rolled across my heart, and I ran to Hu Feng recklessly. Our eyes were intertwined between the lightning and thunder, and sparks that were more brilliant than lightning burst out. At this time, I stumbled and fell to the ground. There was a tearing pain in my ankle, which was already injured.Hu Feng ran towards me, and was about to help me up, but the rain had already fallen first, and when it came, it was aggressive, like a bucket pouring down.In a moment of impatience, Hu Feng knelt down and covered me with his body.

He actually used his back to block the wind and rain for me, he actually! And I really feel that the wind is holding the rain, and I can no longer hear the wind singing and the rain crying in the chaos. All I know and feel is his pair of black and deep eyes, sucking me, sucking me into a depth without light . I stretched out my arms and hugged him around his waist.His body froze, and he tried his best to straighten himself up. I gritted my teeth and held on, not allowing him to break free.In the wind and rain, my arms suddenly turned into snake bodies, with all kinds of desires and tenderness, softly and stubbornly entangled him. We are deadlocked. Finally, he lost, his body softened, and he fell down and kissed me.My heart suddenly bloomed like a thunderbolt. The thunder grew louder. Let lightning kill me.But before Lei Luo falls, I want to kiss him for the last time, then die in his arms and melt into his body. I hugged him tightly, the clothes were wet and the water didn’t seem to exist, the hot skin felt each other clearly, but I still felt far away and helpless, tears and rain kissed into my mouth, I was dying Hugging him, I don't know how to stick closer, how to be caring. Then he suddenly pushed me away. He actually pushed me away, forcefully and decisively, then turned and ran away. I was deeply hurt, and for a while I didn't know where I was, what night and what night.Looking at the sky, I realized that the rain had stopped at some point.A rainbow spans the mountains, colorful and magnificent.I was dazzled, and it was the first time I knew that Yuhong was so beautiful.Suddenly there is such a reluctance in my heart, such a beautiful rainbow, but I know it can't last long, I know I can't grasp it.I seemed to suddenly understand Hu Feng's loneliness. I was carried to the home of the village doctor by my classmates, and I was delayed in Zhangjiajie for nearly a month before I was finally able to go back to school on crutches.The graduation ceremony is over.I will never see Hu Feng again. But I vowed to face him again, to ask him for a clear answer, maybe just a question. To be honest I don't really know what I want, but I can't just leave like this, I can't! Leaning on crutches, I struggled to ring the doorbell of Hu Mansion.When the door opened, a beautiful woman stood in front of the door, she was more beautiful and dignified than I imagined, and she was not even much older than me.In front of her, what chance do I have?I stared at her blankly, not knowing how to greet her. Mrs. Hu was taken aback for a moment, and then she showed a clear expression, as if she already wanted to know about my arrival and the doom of her life, "Oh, it's you." She smiled gently. I don't understand: "You know me?" "Come here." She stretched out her hand and ushered me in, took out a roll of drawing paper from the closet, and opened it, slowly and gently, as the picture showed, I was so nervous that I held my breath, I don't know what you will see. But all I saw was myself. portrait of myself. The eyes are moving, the cheeks are flushed, the indescribable charm and youth are the pollen on the butterfly wings, the dew in the wind before sunrise, and the last blush of the sunset, but he captured it, and he took it That moment is condensed into eternity, and my beauty is condensed into eternity. He, mine, my Hu Feng! It turns out he has me in his heart! I was overjoyed, I just wanted to share my happiness with others for a moment, but then I realized that the other person was not a confidant but a rival in love, so I had to restrain myself.But I am really proud of it. Before I came here, I was timid and guilty, but now according to this painting, I seem to have followed Hu Feng's heart, and suddenly my confidence doubled, I raised my head, and I bravely looked at Mrs. Hu.Madam’s eyes were always filled with the tranquility of the hole candle, she seemed to have read my thoughts clearly, she shook her head lightly, but said nothing, just took out another painting from the closet. This time, it's her! The same youth, the same charming, the same amorous feelings, more elegant and refined than me, I can't help but feel ashamed, the whole person becomes ashamed, sinks, keeps falling, keeps falling, but Never landed. Thinking of a love affair in the wind and rain that she thought was thrilling, she suddenly realized that behind her and him, there were also romances and vows, how many encounters and partings would it take before a man and a woman who don't know each other can become a husband and wife?I'm not his only story, not even his most beautiful story, I'm just another bridge and another river he crossed in his life. I'm actually not as good as her.Because in the fight between me and him, I fell in love with him first, and I competed with a talented painter who is constantly seeking new ideas. Whoever puts his true feelings first will lose.I didn't speak, and stroked the curled edge of the drawing paper with my hands, trying in vain to smooth it, but the drawing paper became more wrinkled due to the heat of the rubbing.Tears fell, one drop, two drops, unstoppable. Mrs. Hu seemed to have never heard of it, and just unfolded the other three paintings one after another: "These three are all his ex-wives." I was shocked to see that Isshiki's water-like long hair, water-like eye waves, and even the expressions in his eyes were so similar. He captured them on the painting and nailed them to the painting, hoping that the moment would become eternal.However, they will always change, they will always become more sophisticated, and they will always lose their brilliance, so he went to capture the next one, and let the former brilliance be reproduced on the face of another girl. How many girls am I her? In a trance, I heard Mrs. Hu sigh softly: "I know that I am not his only one, but I always hope to be the last one. It's just that I have to grow old." I was shocked like ice and snow.One sentence is full of bitterness, she can't, who can? I looked at those paintings one by one, those women who were once beautiful in his heart, those dead loves.Maybe I should wait until he comes back exhausted and exhausted, and finally falls into my arms, knowing that I really love him. However, I can't be old. What is not old is love, how can time be the opponent of love? At this moment, I finally knew: This was a war with no winners.The women in these paintings lost, I lost, but what did Hu Feng win?He put all his strength into every competition for love, pouring out all his money, exhausted, full of vicissitudes, he even gradually lost the courage to love, what did he get? His love is a dead end. I got up and said goodbye to my wife wearily, as if I had just been through a big battle. Perhaps, every woman who has loved Hu Feng has already died for him. The last time I wandered in the school gallery, I couldn't help standing in front of Hu Feng's paintings for a long time. It was a huge oil painting titled "Moth". Under the raging fire, a slender moth flew towards it without hesitation.That kind of desolate beauty is so heart-shattering that I can't bear to see it. But I can't cry anymore. It is a kind of nature for a moth to turn to the fire, an irresistible desire from its original life, but if a moth has a choice, maybe it would rather be blind.I wish I had never known Hu Feng. As if to speak out for me, a girl commented: "This painting makes me want to cry." I turned around, and beside me were two junior girls who had just entered the school. The one who spoke had a handsome face, long hair like water, and infinite admiration in his eyes.She said intoxicatedly, "I really admire Teacher Hu Feng, and I applied for the Academy of Fine Arts because of his fame."