Chapter 9 Chapter 6 The Pain of Injury you are my endless love

Before I knew it, I had embarked on a strange path. On this road, no matter where, I can't find you. In the black and white sky, there are big birds flying across the sky, and occasionally, a kite with a broken string will float by. All things are flying, with gray wings, flying towards the endless light. After many years, I finally found out. We have been sleeping in the world of nothingness, so quiet that we can't hear any sound. Under the never-ending sun, I will hold that book in my arms, waiting for you to come back. Wait for us to meet again. Immortal summer. The room is still the same as you left it, with the bass, the cigarettes, and Cobb's sneakers.The gardenias by the window sill are already blooming, but I haven't had time to tell you that I fall asleep every night with this loneliness in my arms.Zhiwei, I know, you still can't let go of everything, so you leave, just like Qi Nuoqiao back then.After all, we still can't be lovers. Maybe there shouldn't be any intersection between you and me, because I will always watch you silently behind what you can't see, and that alone is enough.Those memories with you, I would like to use it to mourn the friendship between us, love is not full.

——From the Quotations of Sang Ran There is complete silence all around, the darkness engulfs the whole city, only the dim street lamps are dancing with dim light, and occasionally, there will be a few moths entangled in the light of the street lamps, flapping their gray wings, right? There is a loud noise. There will be the rustling sound of insects in the grass, a peaceful and soft summer night. When Zhiwei found Su Banxia, ​​she was sitting on the bench in front of the bus stop.She raised her chin slightly, staring quietly at the brightly lit billboard beside her, on which was a huge promotional portrait of Pepsi.

A wind blew, blowing Su Banxia's hair into the continuous darkness. Zhiwei calmed down her fluctuating breathing, walked over slowly, sat beside Su Banxia, ​​and said, "I'm sorry." Su Banxia turned her head, raised her eyes to look at Zhiwei, and asked, why did you apologize to me? Zhiwei didn't speak any more, just bit her lower lip. The wind kisses the tall and luxuriant camphor tree behind, and the dark green branches and leaves rustle in the darkness. The sound lingers deep in the eardrums, bumping and reverberating back and forth. I don't know how long it took before Su Banxia spoke softly, and said lightly:

"Have you ever thought about letting someone belong to you forever?" Zhiwei was stunned for a moment, then shook her head and said, "No." In fact, I never had such an idea.From a certain point of view, isn't such an idea a bit extreme and gloomy? ——Could it be that Ban Xia often thinks this way? Su Banxia looked at Zhiwei: "I know this kind of thinking is very strange, don't you think so?" Zhiwei opened her mouth, not knowing how to answer, and finally, she asked a sentence that she had considered for a long time: "Banxia, ​​you want Mo Fanlu to belong to you forever, that's what you mean Bar?"

"I'm not very clear." Su Banxia said, as if talking to herself, "However, he is not my thing, and it is impossible to become my thing. Moreover, people and people are separate Individuals, no matter how long they are together, everyone still has their own way of life, and everyone is lonely in the end, alone." "Hmm." It was undeniable, so Zhiwei responded softly. "So, it is absolutely impossible for others to be exclusive to you, isn't it?" "Ok." "It's just that if you know this, you will still make mistakes, and you will still want to monopolize what you like. Maybe you will make mistakes again and again."

"Ban Xia." "what?" "You still have me, just like I have you." Hearing Zhiwei's words, Su Banxia was slightly taken aback, she turned her head and did not speak, but there was a faint and faint smile on the corner of her mouth. ——You have me, just like I have you. Just suddenly, the phone in Zhiwei's pocket vibrated. She hurriedly opened it to see that it was a short message from Lu Chuanzi: "I'll be waiting for you at the back door of 'waiting', see you soon. Lu Chuanzi." Seeing this short message, Zhi Wei stood up from the bench with a bang, as quickly as if a well-trained soldier heard the general's order.

"What's the matter?" Su Banxia looked at her and asked softly. Zhiwei thought that Su Banxia might be unhappy knowing that she was going to meet Lu Chuanzi, so she hurriedly calmed down the overly bright smile on her cheeks, lowered her head and said hesitantly to Su Banxia: "Well—Banxia, I have some things now, can you go back alone?" Su Banxia looked at Zhiwei's slightly flushed face, stood up quietly, and after a while, she said, "Go back, it's fine if I'm alone." Zhiwei showed a relieved expression, but felt uneasy about cheating Pinellia.She clenched the phone tightly, said "I'm sorry, goodbye" to Su Banxia in a voice full of apology, then turned around and disappeared into the night.

Su Banxia stood where she was, her sad eyes slowly fell on Zhiwei's back. The night is cold. In the first year of junior high school, Mo Fanlu's test scores were very poor, because his mother had asthma and couldn't stand any stimulation, so the teacher often brought his stepfather to the school to teach Mo Fanlu face-to-face. After returning home, the stepfather would beat and kick Mo Fanlu's mother and son under the pretext of "it's really embarrassing". That is to say, from that time on, Mo Fanlu gritted his teeth and kept telling himself that his mother must never be beaten again, and his grades must be excellent.

Therefore, he kept climbing up and up in the interweaving of fear and hatred, until he sublimated into the "top student" and "good boy" among the people. He didn't want to recall those unbearable past events.However, because of the misunderstanding with Su Banxia just now, he remembered it again.The hatred at that time seemed to attack his heart again this night. Just after returning home, Mo Fanlu closed the door, and what greeted him was the darkness inside the room. He couldn't help but wonder, at this time of weekdays, his mother should usually prepare a meal and wait for him at home, but why didn't she even turn on the lights?

Bang bang bang bang sound came from the mother's room, Mo Fanlu's heart trembled suddenly, he felt a little bad, he quickly dropped his schoolbag and walked towards the mother's room, the closer he got, the shouts in the room And the sound of falling things becomes clearer. The eardrums were full of dense pain, and the door of the mother's room was locked, and there was a scream that was louder than the other. A certain hidden corner in Mo Fanlu's heart exploded in an instant. He shook the doorknob vigorously, but the door was still motionless and could not be opened at all.The sound of the table collapsing rang in the room, and the stepfather's panting and cursing sound came out from the crack of the door and got into Mo Fanlu's ears, as if it could tear the ear bones nerve.

"You bastard! I want you to give me some money, don't you understand? Damn, I'm in a hurry to turn over my books recently, where did you get all the money?! I want you to find me some money, you You are fucking deaf!" It seemed that something made of glass was broken on the ground, and the mother screamed in pain, mixed with hasty cries: "I really have no money! All the money was paid for Fan Lu's tuition, you let me go." Me! Stop hitting! I didn't lie to you! Stop hitting..." — Money, money, money, money again. ——That man never goes home easily, but every time he comes back, he must be full of "money". Mo Fanlu gritted his teeth, raised his hand and banged on the door, shouting, "Open the door! Open the door for me! Mo Liansheng! Open the door!" No one paid attention to him, only more sharp shouts and beatings.Mo Fanlu's mind was in chaos, and his ears were buzzing loudly. He looked around in panic, and finally, his eyes fell on an iron chair beside the dining table.It was too late to think, he rushed over to pick up the chair, and then crazily raised the chair to smash the locked door. bang - bang - bang - I don't know how many times I smashed it, and I don't know how many times I heard it ringing in my ears. When Mo Fanlu finally smashed the door open, he rushed in staggeringly, with broken glass all around his feet. And rickety cabinets and tables. Panting, the stepfather rolled up his sleeves, and when he saw Mo Fanlu's appearance, he rushed over, pointed at Mo Fanlu's nose and yelled hoarsely: "Little bastard! Your brain is filled with water, you? Do you know?" How much does it cost to repair the broken door? How can I let you mother and son who are in trouble move into my house! Your mother has no money, so you must have money? Give me—” Mo Fanlu looked at his mother who had passed out in the corner, her hair was scattered on the ground in a mess, and she was lying there coldly, her body was heaving violently, and the room was filled with the sound of rapid breathing . ——The mother is asthmatic and cannot be frightened or traumatized. —Doesn't he know? Mo Fanlu looked at everything in front of him, he tried to calm down his breathing, his throat choked.He tightened his fingers, and suddenly grabbed a flowerpot that had fallen on the ground and threw it at his stepfather. The stepfather was so frightened that his head tilted, and the flowerpot fell to the wall with a "bang", falling apart, and the soil splashed. The stepfather swallowed his saliva, opened his eyes and stared at Mo Fanlu: "You...you heartless little bastard! You are going to die, you? Who has fed and clothed you for so many years? You fucking The wings are hard and I want to beat me up, you..." "Get out..." Mo Fanlu gritted his teeth and roared, "Get out! Otherwise I'll kill you!" The stepfather was frightened by the roar of the always gentle Mo Fanlu. He came back to his senses and muttered angrily, "You wait, little bastard, you wait for me", and then he turned around angrily, cursing to leave. Mo Fanlu's mind seemed to return to calm slightly, he hurriedly squatted down in a trance, trying to use all his strength to pick up his mother who was collapsed on the ground: "Mom, Mom, wake up, how are you doing? Tell me where it hurts, Mom—" Almost on the verge of desperate begging, the mother still closed her eyes tightly and did not answer. Mo Fanlu frowned in bewilderment, his eyes suddenly darkened. The night was dark. From nowhere came a heavy bell, a total of eight slow and hoarse strikes, it was already eight o'clock at night. The branches and leaves of the camphor tree are still fluttering above the head, and the yellow and dark color of the street lamps makes people feel unstoppably depressing.The whole body is very quiet, as if only the sound of footsteps, breathing, and heartbeat are left. Zhiwei walked to the back door of the "Waiting" bar alone, but she didn't hear any movement, nor did she see anyone.The loud music in the bar rang vaguely through the closed back door. Zhiwei looked around anxiously, but still did not find Lu Chuanzi. ——Could it be that I remembered the wrong place? Zhiwei showed a confused expression, she quickly took out the phone from her pocket, and read the short message Lu Chuanzi sent to herself again. "I'll be waiting for you at the back door of 'waiting', see you soon. Lu Chuanzi." It is indeed here, there is nothing wrong with it. Just when Zhiwei was puzzled, someone behind her suddenly patted her on the shoulder.Thinking it was Lu Chuanzi, Zhiwei hurriedly turned her head to look happily, but the light in her eyes quickly dimmed.Although she couldn't see that face clearly, she could smell the strong smell of smoke on his body, which definitely couldn't be Lu Chuanzi's smell. In the dark night, the boy's hand kept moving over Zhiwei's shoulder, touched her hair, and murmured: "Little sister, are you here to wait for Lu Chuanzi?" Zhiwei frowned, feeling a little fear and anticipation in her heart, she thought for a while, then nodded vigorously, and said, "Yes, where is he?" "Tonight, he won't come." The other party's voice was clearly malicious. "Eh?" "Haha, it seems that you don't know yet? He owes us money, so he handed you over to us, saying that he can let us handle it." "What did you say?" Just when Zhiwei's last note fell, a few boys biting cigarettes suddenly walked out from the depths of the darkness, and whistled obscenely at Zhiwei.At that moment, Zhiwei realized something was wrong, she turned around and wanted to escape, but was grabbed by the clothes by those boys and dragged abruptly to the alley behind the bar. The strong smell of cigarettes penetrated into the nostrils and irritated the mucous membranes. There was a loud buzzing in my head. "Help..." Before the words came out, someone skillfully covered Zhiwei's mouth with the palm of his hand, and the sound of laughter echoed bloody in his ears. Zhiwei opened her eyes wide in despair, like a dying animal Cat. The darkness quickly devoured everything, it opened its bright red mouth like a giant beast, and devoured all the light, leaving no bones behind. The night wind whizzed past, and the branches and leaves of the camphor tree swirled presumptuously into the air.spinning.further and further. It was frighteningly dark. All the light was absorbed, and the whole world fell silent. Only the huge billboard next to the bus stop was still shining with clear light.Occasionally, a few girls would run past each other arm in arm, laughing and joking, discussing "Hey, it's better to go to that KTV to sing, the clerks there are so handsome", "Huh? But it's good there Expensive, is this your treat?" and so on. This world is like a huge lake. All the waters of the lakes will be icy and frenziedly galloping towards the most fragile and hidden piece of land in your heart, until they form waters that cannot be climbed high or crossed.Then, there will be a wall in your heart, which isolates all warmth and all love. Sometimes, I am afraid that I will be overwhelmed by this wall, unable to stand up again, forced to blend into the wall, and become a part of its cruelty. Su Banxia sat on the bench next to the bus stop, all the surging water waves, wet and bitter lake water came to mind. She didn't know how long she had been sitting here, since Zhiwei left, she had been sitting here without moving. She is waiting for Zhiwei to come back. Even if Zhiwei won't find her when she comes back, she still wants to take a look at Zhiwei from a distance, and make sure that she can leave safely after she gets home safely. He raised his hand and glanced at his watch, it was already twenty past eight.Su Banxia exhaled lightly, and the cell phone in her pocket suddenly rang. The name "Zhiwei" jumped on the screen, Su Banxia's eyes lit up, she quickly pressed the answer button, just after saying "Hello", her whole face turned pale in an instant. On the other side of the phone, there were chaotic noises and shrill shouts. "—let go of me! You let me go! Please! I beg you to let me go! Don't pull my clothes! Don't do this! I beg you..." Before she had time to ask anything, Su Banxia only heard a hoarse cry from a boy amidst the noisy and chaotic cries: "Damn! If you scream again, I'll fuck you! Cover her mouth, and be careful not to put the bar People shout out!" The phone was disconnected with a "click", leaving only a beeping busy tone. With a violent finger shake, Su Banxia's phone fell to the ground with a "bang". When Su Banxia rushed to the "Waiting" bar, she panicked and couldn't find Zhiwei everywhere.She started to feel scared, she felt a strong sense of unease.However, no matter how anxious she was in her heart, she could only search around the bar blindly, until finally, with the help of dim street lights, she finally saw several vague figures in an alley behind the bar. A deep and narrow alley that exudes a slightly damp atmosphere. There was whimpering and crying in the alley, and Su Banxia rushed in without thinking much. Zhiwei was indeed there. Several boys surrounded her, her hands were tightly tied behind her back, her mouth was sealed with yellow tape, her wide-open eyes were full of despair and fear, and there was a constant flow of blood that was about to dry up. tears. Su Banxia only felt a loud "boom" in her brain at that moment, as if she had been shocked by an electric shock.She rushed forward and used all her strength to tear the group of boys apart, screaming: "——you all get out of here!" Those boys were a little surprised when they found Su Banxia's arrival, they just wanted to catch Su Banxia together, but one of the boys suddenly muttered in a low voice: "It's broken, she didn't come here until she called the police Bar?" It was just this clever remark that made all the boys present tremble in fright, and then the leading boy spat angrily on the ground, then he raised his chin as a signal, and said "retreat", and everyone The boys scattered like birds and beasts. The alley finally returned to calm.Only darkness. Su Banxia knelt down with trembling fingers, tore off the tape on Zhiwei's mouth in a panic, and helped her untie the rope behind her while choking on her sobs: "Zhiwei, it's okay, it's okay, look at me Is it right? Then, hold on, I'll untie the rope for you..." Zhiwei didn't speak, her hair was hanging down on her shoulders in a mess, her clothes had been torn a lot, and one of her shoes was missing, her eyes were half-open, and she couldn't find any focal length in her distracted eyes .Faint blood oozes from the corner of her mouth, expressionless. Seeing Zhiwei like this, Su Banxia burst into tears.She stretched out her hand and gently hugged Zhiwei into her arms, whispering in her ear: "Hey, I'm here, don't be afraid." The wind blows tightly against the ground. The fine dust moves quietly like flowing water, making a soft rustling sound. dark night. Zhiwei lay on Su Banxia's warm shoulders, and finally sobbed silently. It's going to be an incredibly long night. The smell of thick disinfectant is like a wildfire burning in the wilderness, burning the sense of smell. The nurses and doctors walking back and forth in the corridor all had rigid and dull faces, as if they had no extra emotion, as if they had long been numb to everything.The incandescent lamp on the ceiling dances with empty light, and the whole body is filled with only indifferent and fearful touch. Warning signs of "no smoking" and "no loud noise" were hung on the walls with yellow marks, but some family members who entered and left the ward still ignored cigarettes, exhaled circles of smoke, and laughed at each other. That kind of laughing voice can make people feel scalp numb, and there are various noises echoing in the eardrums, almost disgusting enough to want to spit it out. Mo Fanlu sat stiffly on the bench in the corridor, diagonally across from him was the emergency room with red lights on.The mother had been inside for over an hour. Everything that happened tonight was whirling in Mo Fanlu's brain, whirling and whirling, making him feel inexplicably suffocated. He raised his hand, took out the mobile phone in his pocket, and pressed the number that he had dialed countless times tonight with trembling fingers. It's just that the answer there is still the same: "—the user you dialed is currently unable to answer, please call again later." Mo Fanlu sighed in despair, and clenched the screen of the phone tightly. The name that was just dialed was "Su Banxia" displayed on it. ——Where were you when I needed you to be by my side the most? ——Why can't you come to my side without hesitation at this moment, why can't you? ——What am I to you? With a "bang", the phone suddenly fell from Mo Fanlu's hand onto the cold bench.He lowered his head, and kept lowering it until his long fingers could grip his hair.A certain hole in my heart was getting bigger and bigger, and the viscous blood of grief had already leaked out. I don't know how long it took to maintain this action, the lights in the emergency room suddenly dimmed with a "beep", and then the door was opened with a whoosh, and a doctor wearing a blue sterile cap and mask came out. Hearing the sound of footsteps, Mo Fanlu slowly raised his head up, his eyes flashed brightly, he quickly stood up from the bench, and rushed to the doctor with a look of anticipation on his face. But before he could open his mouth to ask questions, the doctor asked first: "—who are you to the patient?" "I... I am her son." An anxious voice. The doctor took off his mask, looked Mo Fanlu up and down with a contemptuous look, then indifferently stuffed a hard board into his hand, and said bluntly: "Well, sign it, and then prepare to deal with the funeral Bar." Mo Fanlu raised his head, his palms were covered with a thin layer of sweat, he frowned, his voice trembling uncontrollably: "What did you just... say?" The doctor glanced at him and said expressionlessly: "Sorry, we did our best." Sorry, we did our best. Isn't this a rotten line that often appears in TV dramas?Why did I become the target of accepting rotten lines this time? This is not true, is it. It can't be true. Is it just a dream, I haven't woken up yet, wake up quickly, wake up quickly. "Oh, what a pity, my mother died at such a young age, oh, asthma is really bad—" "Who says no, tsk tsk, the boy lost his mother, it seems that he is too hard..." Some nurses passed by Mo Fanlu, staring at him with extremely sympathetic and sharp eyes. , and then all sighed and walked away. Mo Fanlu stood there without moving. Two lines of tears flowed out. The world collapsed in an instant, dark and gone. All sounds disappeared. There is no air-conditioning in the room, so it is swelteringly hot.The sky-blue curtains were tied with khaki ribbons and tightly stuck to the window in the dark. What was projected into the room through the gaps in the curtains was the moonlight scattered outside the window, dotted around the sheets in the room. "Beep beep——" In the silent room, the mobile phone vibrated suddenly. Qi Nuoqiao turned on the lamp on the bedside, frowned, and got up from the bed sleepily.She stroked the brown curly hair that was scattered in front of her eyes, took the mobile phone next to the desk lamp, and opened the cover, only to realize that it was not her own. She turned slightly, leaned close to the ear of the boy lying next to her, and called softly: "Then, Chuan Zi, it's your phone that's ringing." Lu Chuanzi buried his head deeply in the pillow, and muttered impatiently in a hoarse voice: "Don't worry, I just fell asleep." However, less than a second later, he quickly sat up on the bed When he got up, as if thinking of something important, he snatched the phone from Qi Nuoqiao's hand, frowned, and opened the cover. The sender on the screen made him tremble all over. When I opened the short message, there were only seven words, "failed, she ran away, pay back the money".Short seven words.But when Lu Chuanzi closed her eyes, she could still imagine how angry the other party typed these words. Under the dim yellow light, Lu Chuanzi pursed her lips, raised her slender fingers and quickly pressed out a few words: "Understood, give me another three days." However, before pressing the send button, he quickly pressed "delete", closed the phone with a "snap", and slammed the battery. "What's the matter?" Qi Nuoqiao approached beside him, he tilted his head, and blinked his big eyes suspiciously. "It's okay." Lu Chuanzi leaned weakly on her shoulder, put his chin into the crest of her neck, and changed the subject with a long sigh, "—it's so hot, why do you rent this kind without air conditioning? house?" "...I don't have any money." Qi Nuoqiao shrugged her shoulders helplessly, and then asked unwillingly, "Then, let me tell you, have you broken up with your girlfriend yet?" "Which one are you referring to?" "--all." Lu Chuanzi couldn't help but want to laugh: "It's this time, what are you talking about, no one can support me without them, I'm not like you, my parents will send you money from the United States every month, right? miss?" Qi Nuoqiao pursed her mouth and muttered in a low voice: "What, I can raise you too—" Lu Chuanzi stretched out her arm and took the pillow behind her and pressed it to her face. A muffled voice came from under the pillow, "Didn't I say it earlier, I don't want you to support me, I will support you." "You said that five years ago." Qi Nuoqiao twitched the corners of her mouth bitterly and smiled, "But you will still be with other girls and never worry about my feelings." "Don't think about it, it's just a play on the occasion." "That being the case, why didn't you stop me dating Sang Ran back then? You don't care so much about me sleeping with other boys? When I come back this time, you should know what I'm for, but you still deliberately pretend that you don't know anything ,right?" Lu Chuanzi buried her head under the pillow and said nothing. Qi Nuoqiao's eyes quickly piled up with blurred liquid, and he didn't know whether it should be called sadness or helplessness.There was another overwhelming nausea in her stomach. She covered her mouth tightly, jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom and began to vomit profusely. Lu Chuanzi took the pillow off her head, looked sideways at the bathroom, frowned and exhaled helplessly, "Even if you are angry with me, you don't need to be so exaggerated, hey, did you do it on purpose? Nojo, are you okay?" no answer. After a long time, Qi Nuoqiao came out of the bathroom. She wiped the corners of her mouth with a dry towel, and the mobile phone placed on the table vibrated suddenly. "Who is calling so late, what are you doing—" Lu Chuanzi sat up from the bed while complaining, no longer sleepy, he reached for the cigarette case on the bedside, and took out a cigarette Putting a cigarette to his mouth and lighting it, the whole dark room was filled with the smell of BLACK DEVIL. Qi Nuoqiao glanced at Lu Chuanzi suspiciously, then opened the lid, and the number on the screen turned out to be "Sang Ran." She was taken aback for a moment, turned her back to Lu Chuanzi, pressed the answer button with some hesitation, and said "Hello" softly, and the other party seemed to say something hurriedly: "Come to Beimu Hospital, Right now." "……Eh?" "—Fan Lv has an accident." Almost at the moment when the end button was pressed, Qi Nuoqiao quickly took the coat and skirt from the hanger and put them on her body. The dim yellow light of the desk lamp outlined her figure into a faint golden outline.Without saying a word, she put on her red canvas shoes and was about to walk out the door. "Hey, it's so late, where are you going?" Lu Chuanzi's slightly surprised voice sounded behind her. "Come back and talk about it." There was an answer in the dim room, and with her toes, she could think that she was still angry with him, so Lu Chuanzi didn't intend to ask any more questions.There was a "bang" door closing, and the original silence was restored in the room. Lu Chuanzi extinguished half of the cigarette in his hand, and casually threw it on the ground. He picked up the phone, reinstalled the battery, and looked up the number in the phone until he found the name "Zhiwei" After that, the corners of his eyes showed inexplicable anxiety.He gripped the phone tightly, fell on the bed, and buried his face heavily in the soft pillow. You must hate me, right? But I never thought that you would be so stupid. It was pitch black.The night is deep, and everything is still. When Su Banxia helped Zhiwei back to her attic, the bell tower in the city center had already rang ten times dully.Inside the dark corridor was lifeless, without a trace of light.Thinking that Zhiwei's current situation would be even worse when she returned home, Su Banxia decided to take her back to her home. Or, it can also be said that Su Banxia is worried about Zhiwei. When she took out the key and opened the door, in the slightly dark room, Su Banxia saw her grandmother lying on the sofa watching TV. Su Banxia didn't take this into consideration, but gently called Zhiwei in. Hearing the sound, the grandmother quickly sat up from the sofa, pointed at Su Banxia and scolded her head and face, "You little bitch! What time is it now, and you still know to come back? Why don't you die outside Ah you? What are you doing back—" Before she could vent all the anger in her heart, she saw Zhiwei standing next to Su Banxia in messy clothes. "Who is that?" Grandma asked, narrowing her eyes. "My classmate." Su Banxia replied coldly, then took Zhiwei's hand and walked into her room. "What kind of classmate, look at the torn clothes, hehe, I really don't know where I picked it up from a little wild cat..." The grandmother muttered meanly from behind. Zhiwei's figure couldn't help shaking violently. "Old woman, have you said enough?" Su Banxia couldn't listen anymore. "Hey, who are you yelling at? What's the matter, why don't people talk?" Su Banxia tightly held Zhiwei's trembling hand, she stopped talking, took Zhiwei into her room, and then slammed the door forcefully. Grandmother's sarcastic scolding sounded outside the door. But I can't hear anything clearly, because only the eardrums are buzzing and screaming. That evening. Su Banxia hugged Zhiwei and fell asleep on her narrow single bed. She had no idea what happened to Zhiwei, and she didn't know that Mo Fanlu shed tears of collapse in the hospital. ——On such a night, everyone has their own thoughts. Thick and salty sea water. The surroundings were empty and silent, as if they had come to the end of the barrenness.The dark gray sea waves slapped violently on the chest, making a dull and heavy noise. The tide is rising. Zhiwei felt that her whole body was soaked by such a hopeless and cold tide, and countless tiny grains of salt were drilled into her ears. She opened her eyes and looked around in panic. There was only sea water, the boundless sea water, which made her feel fear. A black, huge wave rushed towards her, she couldn't breathe, and was finally submerged in the humid deep seabed. Severe pain spread throughout the body. When Zhiwei woke up from the dream, it was already the morning of the next day. Her chest was heaving slightly, and fine beads of sweat were oozing from her forehead. Zhiwei looked around, and the walls that had started to turn yellow were painted a monotonous gray.There is a cold crack in the ceiling, and in the center of it hangs a small light bulb, which has a precarious feeling, as if it could fall down and hit the top of the head at any time. This is not her room. Warm light came in through the gaps in the undrawn curtains, and it seemed that it was almost noon. Zhiwei began to recall what happened last night, thinking about it, she covered her mouth with trembling hands, her eyes were round and round, like a cat in pain and despair.The sound of clothes being torn apart was still echoing in my ears, and that sound spread all the way to the bottom of my heart, and I was almost so sick that I wanted to vomit. Zhiwei slowly closed her eyes, fell back on the bed, and curled herself into a small ball.Her hands kept rubbing against her shoulders, as if to warm herself. Tears were about to fall uncontrollably from the corners of his eyes. The door of the room was suddenly pushed open with a "click", and the girl walked in with a cup of steaming water. Looking at Zhiwei who was curled up on the bed, her throat suddenly choked with bitterness, "...you're awake." Zhiwei raised her head and saw Su Banxia sitting next to her, so she slowly got up from the bed, approached Su Banxia's shoulder, and said angrily: "Banxia, ​​where have you been? I'm scared alone." Su Banxia put down the hot water in her hands, gently wrapped her arms around Zhiwei's trembling shoulders, and comforted her in a low voice, "——Then, I'll call the teacher to ask for leave, and I'll also call your home." Hearing Su Banxia's words, Zhiwei's back stiffened for a moment, she raised her head, showed a disturbed expression, and pursed the corners of her mouth nervously. Su Banxia looked at her and said quietly, "Don't worry, there is no one at your house to answer the phone, so you should not be here." Zhiwei immediately breathed a sigh of relief. "Drink the water first, I'll cook." Su Banxia didn't intend to ask any more about what happened to Zhiwei last night, she stood up and walked out of the room. The door was closed softly.The silence instantly eroded Zhiwei's heart. Zhiwei held the hot water that Su Banxia handed her, looked at the steam rising from the surface of the water, closed her eyes, then opened them slowly, her vision suddenly blurred a lot, as if there was a thin layer of liquid Covered in the pupils, Zhiwei raised her hand to wipe the corners of her eyes, put it in front of her eyes, and found that the traces on her fingers turned out to be tears. ——Why are you crying, sad?Still give up? 午休的时候，柯绛再一次地出现在苏半夏和栀薇的班级门口，他将头探进去四周环顾，依然没有找到自己想要找的身影。 其实，教室里面也没有几个人，因为是午休的关系。 只有几个女生聚在一起嘻嘻哈哈地讨论着手中的《时尚周刊》。 柯绛走进教室里，几步就来到了她们的面前，他微微皱了皱眉头，声音里面有着不可掩饰的担忧：“那，请问你们知道苏半夏去哪里了吗？” 几个女生疑惑地抬起头看向柯绛，先是愣了一愣，随后有些暧昧地笑了起来，其中一个正在涂抹着黑色指甲油的女生更是咯咯地笑个不停，那笑声听起来是异常的讽刺，“呵呵，你说苏半夏啊，她整天都那么阴沉，好怕人的，我们怎么可能会敢和她说话嘛——” 柯绛有些不悦地眯了眯眼睛。 “喂——”柯绛愤愤地开口，说，“她的座位在哪里？” “你说苏半夏？”染着酒红色头发的女生回答，“别找了，她今天没来学校啦。” “没来学校？” “是啊，不仅是她哦，连她的橡皮糖也没来呢。” 大概，这个“橡皮糖”指的就是栀薇，因为她们两个在学校里面是整日的形影不离。柯绛似乎想到了什么，他握了握手指，转身，一言不发地便走出了教室。 教室里，染着酒红色头发的女生望着柯绛消失的身影饶有兴趣地笑了笑，说：“欸，真没想到，那个苏半夏还蛮有帅哥缘的耶。” “是吗？怎么说？”随即便有女生追问起来。 “讨厌啦，你还不知道？听说，有人看到苏半夏和七班的莫樊律约会哦。” “真的假的，你是说七班的莫樊律？他很有名的耶，不过听说也很花心哦。” 女生一边涂抹着黑色的指甲油一边扬了扬嘴角：“有什么可起哄的，说不定哪天莫樊律就把她给甩了——” 呃，谁知道呢？ 几个女生睁大了眼睛相互对视一眼，然后都不约而同地耸了耸肩膀。 苏半夏走进厨房里，准备为栀薇煮一些小米粥。 厨房里有着锅台潮湿又微微有些发霉的味道，锅底是一片黑褐色的锈迹斑斑。老太婆一定又是出去打麻将了，从早上起来就不见她的影子。苏半夏在心里想。 门外忽然传来了一阵“扣扣扣”的敲门声，很有规律的三下为一拍。 应该不会是老太婆的，她每天都要很晚才会回来，那么，会是谁呢？ 苏半夏略微迟疑了一下，很快地，她便走到门口，隔着门问了一声：“谁？” “——是我。”门外的人如是回答。 “喀哒”一声，房门被苏半夏打开了，柯绛的脸孔呈现在了自己的眼前，他微微喘着粗气，额角也有一层细密的汗珠在渗出，看来他是跑着过来的。 昏暗的楼道里面，虚虚地悬浮着一层灰蒙蒙的尘埃。有几个路过的家庭妇女看到柯绛站在苏半夏家的门口便都勾动出了邪邪的笑容。 尽管苏半夏对这些早已麻木，可是柯绛还是隐约地感到尴尬。 门口处，柯绛左手上的尾戒闪烁着炫目的光点。 苏半夏扶着门框，看着站在自己面前的柯绛，慢慢拢起了视线，沉着嗓子问了一句：“你怎么来了？” 那样的口气，暧昧得像是在同自己刚刚分手的恋人质问分手的原因。 “嗯。”柯绛扯了扯脖颈上的制服领带，抬眼望向苏半夏，微微皱起眉，“你是怎么搞的啊，打你的手机也不接，学校你也不去……” 苏半夏这才想到自己的手机在昨天晚上便不知了去向，大概是去找栀薇的时候就丢掉了吧。 “哦。我手机丢了，不过也没什么。” “没什么的话就不要总让我担心你好不好？”有些责备与埋怨似的口吻。 他那样厚重并且温暖的语气，在苏半夏听来是格外的感动的，可是不知是出于怎样的原因，她与柯绛之间永远都无法超越某种界线，总是有一根无形的弦将他们彼此拦断在两边，于是，即便现在可以相互远远地凝望，还是会感到莫名的伤感。 苏半夏点点头，甚至轻轻地微笑起来，说：“没什么，真的没什么，你不用担心我，根本不用的。” 柯绛没有再说话，他的心情异常的复杂。 楼道里面不时会有人投来同样复杂的目光。 直到他抬起头，看到了从苏半夏的房间里面走出来，朝自己露出惊诧目光的栀薇。 “你怎么在这里？”越过苏半夏的头顶，柯绛望着栀薇，困惑而又有些不安地问。 “……嗯。”栀薇只是轻轻应了一声，不再多言。 苏半夏转头看了看栀薇，又看了看柯绛，像是察觉到了他们两个人之间某种微妙的气氛，半晌，她抬起头，望向柯绛说：“呐，既然你来了，就带她出去换换心情吧，好吗？” 柯绛先是“欸”了一声，然后望了一眼沉默的栀薇，他想了想，抬起手轻轻地抓了抓头发，笑一下，说：“——嗯，好啊。” 也许当你遭到了背叛的时候，你便会感受到强烈的绝望。 可是，还是会禁不住去怀抱着小小的希望，就仿佛是期待着黑暗中降临的小小地光亮一般。 在你的生命中一定出现过这样的一个男生。 在你无助哭泣的时候，他会将你掉入下水道里的通知单捞出来，嘱咐你“别再弄丢了”。 在他缺钱的时候，他会向你借钱，并且你也会毫不犹豫地可以去偷给他。 在你感到不安的时候，他会喊你一声“小栀花”，并且轻吻你的脸颊。 可是，当你如此信任他的时候，他却发给你一条短信，把你约到了酒吧后面。 让你险些就被轮奸。 你会不会对他失望？你会不会对他绝望？你会不会觉得自己被骗？觉得自己被背叛？ 而同样的，你却还是会遏止不住地喜欢他，甚至觉得就算这样也无所谓。 马路旁的石台上。 栀薇抬起手，不停地揉着自己湿漉漉的眼睛，只是眼泪就一直源源不断地往出流淌，像是坏掉了开关，无论如何都停不下来。 “原来发生了这样的事情。”坐在她身旁的柯绛低沉着嗓子，从胸腔中闷闷地吐出了一句。 眼前是黑白相间的斑马线，马路上是密密麻麻的人。相互与此擦肩，相互与彼接踵，却都没有时间思考着自己究竟在做些什么。栀薇望着眼前盲目前进的人流，轻轻勾动了一下唇角，混杂着泪水苍白而又无力地一笑，说：“嗯，是这样啊。” “真想去杀了他。”柯绛抬高了音调，手指也在不自觉间握成了拳头。他倏地站起了身，抬起脚就朝着硬邦邦的石台上狠狠地踢了一脚。 栀薇扬起脸，看着柯绛因为气愤而不断起伏的胸膛，她的眼泪就“啪嗒啪嗒”地掉落在了冰凉的石地上面。 周围的人群若潮汐，推挤着彼此，耳膜深底回荡着的是车辆的鸣镝。 “那种人，为什么还不和他分手呢，你究竟还在期待什么——”柯绛像是自言自语一般地叹息起来。 栀薇静默地低下了头，她突然就想起昨天晚上那些男生对她说的话“路川紫不会来了，他欠了我们的钱，说是把你交给我们，可以任由处置”。栀薇猛地就捂住了耳朵，紧紧地皱起了眉头。 胸腔里像是压上了一块巨大的石，沉甸甸地截住了血管，于是血液无法再流向心脏。 路川紫没有打电话来向她解释。 他连人影都没出现在她的面前。 这是不是就意味着结束了呢？所有的一切，都结束了。 望着捂住耳朵不断流泪的栀薇，柯绛的心脏顿时狠狠地一阵绞痛，他已经来不及思考，只是重新坐回到她的身边，抱住了她，用力地将她拉进了自己的怀里。 “来我这里吧。”他的声音微微颤抖，顿了顿，又继续说，“我……一定会对你好的，我不会让你哭，也不会让你疼，只要你来我这里，来我身边。” 柯绛的身上，还残留着孩子气的味道。 只是，这样的一个充满了温暖的怀抱，此刻，让栀薇感到了莫名的安心。 她没有说话，恍惚间，只是轻轻地点了点头。 然后柯绛就笑了出来，开心地笑了出来，像是终于抓住了自己一直想得到的东西，那种喜悦的感觉无从比拟。 阳光照下来，照亮了他发红的眼眶。 “栀薇，我是真的喜欢你。” 她被他的声音融化成了海水，温柔地攀上了她的内心，裹住了她。 那么温柔。 那么顺理成章。 Is that right? 如果不是这样的话，为什么她的心里还是会觉得“路川紫会那么做，一定是有不得已的苦衷”呢？ 熬好了一锅冒着热气的小米粥，苏半夏迅速地盛出了三小碗，并且在桌子上摆好了三副筷子。 突然就有人敲门，非常急促并且迅猛的“咚咚”声，苏半夏以为是柯绛与栀薇，于是她想都没想地就跑过去将门呼啦一声打开。 出现在自己面前的却是一个男生的陌生脸孔，她愣了一愣，随后戒备的想要关上门，却被男生一把地拦住。 “你是谁？”苏半夏瞪着眼前的男生问。 男生气喘吁吁地望着苏半夏，他白色制服衬衫打开了一个大大的领口，耳朵上的六七副银制耳环在楼道昏暗的光线中闪动着魅人的光。 “我叫桑然。”对方回答。 桑然？ “我不认识你，你找错门了。”说完，苏半夏便要关门。 "etc!" "Any thing else?" “苏半夏，对吗？” “你怎么会知道我的名字……” 桑然皱起眉头，抬手捋了捋挡在额前的刘海，冲苏半夏命令似的说：“如果不想失去樊律，现在就去医院。” 一瞬间，苏半夏望着眼前的男生，怔住。 ——其实，你是不是很想快点离开这个被我囚禁住的世界？ 只是，你从不知道，并不是我在囚禁着你，而是我们在相互囚禁。 因为，我们永远都是“同类”。