Chapter 104 Section five

On the afternoon when Luo Yang returned to Shacheng, he took a bus to Ping'an County.When he walked into the yard full of thorn roses in early summer, the ears of wheat were gathering the buds of thorn roses. "Wheat ears!" He couldn't restrain his excitement when he saw her, and he wanted to tell her with a thousand words hidden in his heart, about his mother's death, about what happened to him in Shahu Village, about the wolves in the Gobi Desert.But too many things have happened, and I don't know where to start these thousands of words. Maisui straightened up, didn't speak, but looked at him with some strange eyes.

"What's the matter with you?" Luo Yang stretched out his arms, ready to hug her. "Who is she?" Maisui asked in a reproachful tone. When Luo Yang turned his head, he realized that there was another person behind him. She was standing outside the fence looking into the yard.That person is Liu Xu who followed Luo Yang.He wondered how she could have such superb tracking skills, and he didn't find her all the way from Shacheng to the county.In fact, there were not many passengers on that bus.Or because he missed the ears of wheat so much that he didn't pay attention to the people and things around him.

When Luo Yang was still wide open, Liu Xu had already stepped into the courtyard and said, "You don't have to look at me so strangely, of course I'm his fiancee!" Maisui looked at the uninvited guest in front of her, and then at Luo Yang. "Why are you here? Don't talk nonsense!" Luo Yang stared at Liu Xu angrily. Liu Xu smiled coldly: "You know best if I'm talking nonsense. Look at this jade bracelet. You put it on me yourself a few days ago. I was the one who gave Ms. Luo a funeral. Everyone in Shahu Village knows that I am Liu Xu. She is the daughter-in-law of the Luo family!"

"Let's go!" Maisui felt a buzzing in her head, she put down the wicker basket with flower buds in her hand, went back into the house, and closed the door. "Don't stop, but suffer from it. I did this out of helplessness. You stay here and explain to her clearly, I'll go back first!" After Liu Xu finished speaking, she turned and walked out of the yard. Luo Yang ignored Liu Xu, he went to push the door of the house in front of him, but the door was locked.He had no choice but to talk to Maisui through the window: "Listen to me, many unexpected things have happened in the past few days..."

"I don't want to hear it. You have too many reasons. In the past, you said that your mother disagreed, and now a fiancee appeared. I don't know which of your words is true. Now I just want to ask you, why did you bring Is that woman here?" "I have to clarify that she is not my fiancée, nor did I bring her here, but she came here by herself." "If you and her are really so innocent, how did she come here? You wouldn't say she was making trouble out of no reason, would you? " "Okay, okay, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have let her know that there is this yard. In fact, she has been to this yard more than ten years ago. When I met her, I was still a child."

"Oh? This is the first time I've heard that you have a childhood sweetheart girlfriend!" "Can you make some sense? Why don't you give me a chance to speak?" "I won't give you a chance to speak? You have said too much to me in the past few years. Even if everything is true, she is the girlfriend you have known since childhood, right? Listening to her tone just now, I It's the love of others. Now that she's here, I should go too..." Sad and aggrieved, Maisui spoke incoherently, and couldn't hold back the tears.She opened the door suddenly and rushed out of the yard.

Luo Yang grabbed her and said, "You don't have to go. If you want to go, I should go. This is the house that the unit let you live in. Now this is your home!" Then he left Mai who was still crying. Sui strode out of the yard.It happened that a bus to Shacheng stopped by the road, and he took a few steps to get on the bus. The car swayed away on the uneven road, splashing the accumulated water left after the heavy rain last night, and then falling down and leaving it on the mottled walls of a row of old houses along the street in the small county town. Maisui forgot to cry, she stood there in a daze, looking at the blurred shadow left by the bus rushing away through the mud, and she couldn't see anything in an instant.She suddenly regretted that she shouldn't be so willful, she really should have listened to him calmly just now.

One day passed, two days passed...Mai Sui thought that Luo Yang was angry, and he would come back when his anger subsided, back to this yard.At least he should come and tell her what happened between him and that woman named Liu Xu.In order to wait for his arrival, she always boiled a thermos bottle of boiling water every day before going to work, made a cup of tea and put it on the table, then locked the door and put the key on the door frame where he could see it.She thought, as soon as he entered the door, he washed his face with hot water, and then sat on the wooden bench and drank tea while waiting for her.They reconcile as before and everything will go back to the way it was.But since Luo Yang left that day, every time Maisui came back from get off work, the heavy wooden door was tightly closed, and he didn't explain anything to her as she imagined.Whenever at this time, she pushed the door open in disappointment, the door leaf made a muffled creak, as if to show her depressed mood.The tea on the table was already cold, so she poured it in the yard, then stood in front of the door and watched the pieces of green tea leaves shrink and dry up, just like the longing and desire in her heart.A week passed, two weeks passed... and the days went on and on, wearing away her hopes to a pallid gloom.

The ears of wheat that had been missing for a long time did not wait for Luo Yang, but one evening they met the catkins that had followed Luo Yang.Liu Xu told Maisui the same story about a boy and a girl who used to live in Shahu Village, but she changed the ending of the story to the following: the girl and the boy fell in love, and after a few months the girl Find yourself with the crystallization of their love.But the boy received the admission letter from the university. For the sake of her lover's future, she alone endured inner and physical pain and went to the hospital for surgery...but then he seemed to have a change of heart and did not want to fulfill their marriage contract.At the end of the story, Liu Xu broke down in tears, and took out a gynecological surgery bill from her handbag that she had collected for many years and handed it to Mai Sui.

Maisui, who was listening to the story, was also full of tears, both for the infatuated woman who made a huge sacrifice in front of her, and for herself who had been deceived in the past few years.Even so, she was still unwilling to give up the love in her heart, and tried to excuse Luo Yang, who she "hated": It was not his fault, the fault was that two women loved him at the same time; It is the spirit of sacrifice of the woman in the story-it is worth sacrificing everything for the one you love. In this way, Maisui has been immersed in the sad story about Shahu Village, and she doesn't even know when the heroine of the story left.Until the evening, Maisui made the last cup of tea for the person she was waiting for, as her last expectation of ideal love.

But he still didn't show up. The cup of tea was quietly placed on the table, and she didn't pour it out until the water in the cup evaporated, and a layer of green and fuzzy mold grew on the tea leaves. So, at another evening, Maisui locked the door of her house and took the last train to Shacheng. Maisui came to Luo Yang's hut.As soon as she entered the door, Luo Yang seemed very excited. He hugged her and kept kissing the tears on her face: "Silly girl, no matter whether we live together in this life or not, you are the person I miss most in this world." This sentence made Maisui sad and desperate. Later they talked a lot, mainly Luo Yang was talking about his mother's serious illness to the point of death, about the distress after coming out of Shahu Village, and about his physical and mental exhaustion.Maisui finally got Luo Yang's explanation. It turned out that when Luo's mother passed away, Liu Xu was the one who went to the funeral instead of herself.Moreover, Liu Xu went to the county town to find her that day and told her the sad story about Shahu Village. If Maisui was skeptical at the time, everything has been confirmed now.At this time, she thought that Liu Xu's feelings for Luo Yang were far more than her own feelings for Luo Yang—maybe this was an insurmountable gap between her and Luo Yang, and this gap seemed to be filled by Liu Xu flat. Luo Yang hugged the ears of wheat and talked alone for most of the night, and finally turned into muttering to himself, and finally fell asleep amidst the ears of wheat sighing again and again... It was already very bright, and the soft morning sun filled the streets and buildings, cast the mottled shadows of willow trees into the windows, and fell on Luo Yang's sleeping face, making him look as peaceful as a baby.Maisui got out of bed gently, got dressed, went to the bathroom to wipe her face, and then returned to the desk in front of the bed and sat for a long time.Maisui picked up the letter paper and pen on the desk, hesitantly wrote such a long letter: Dear: Allow me to call you that one last time.For many years, I have been running for the so-called "love". When I thought I found it, it was not the result I wanted.Last night, unwillingly, I asked you for confirmation for the last time. I know from your words that you still chose her.In fact, as early as that afternoon two weeks ago, when she followed you to the small courtyard, you had already made your choice, otherwise you would not have left in a fit of anger.But I didn't complain at all, I was still hopeful naively, waiting stubbornly, waiting for you to say sorry to me.How long those two weeks seemed to me!I came by myself, but you gave me the expected answer again: "Whether we live together or not..." It seems that you already knew that we would not be together.Now I am not sad anymore.When hope is no longer hope, there is no despair; when despair is no longer despair, all the past can be written off.I don't blame you, you have the right to choose your own life... If I am destined to spend my whole life waiting, I will wait my whole life on the way we meet. Don't disappoint Liu Xu's love and sacrifice for you. Please take care, I really should go. ... Maisui put down his pen, as if he had unloaded a heavy burden.She put the letter and the house key he had left her under a book.This book is a novel that Luo Yang often reads. It is Proust's. Another version of the title has been translated as "Looking for Lost Time".Maisui put down the letter and keys, and took a last look at Luo Yang who was still asleep, then she gently opened the door and walked into the warm and bright morning sun in Shacheng. When Luo Yang opened his eyes, it was already noon.He had just had a long dream, dreaming that he was running like a desperado from a group of people. He kept running, but he couldn't find a hiding place until he woke up.What kind of people are chasing him?Luo Yang couldn't remember. Luo Yang sat up and saw the neatly folded quilt beside him, only to realize that the ears of wheat had already left.When he saw the letter on the desk, he reached for it, and a golden brass key fell to the ground.Here is his Portkey.Luo Yang's heart tightened, and the words "people go to the empty building" jumped into his mind.He opened the letter and read it, trembling all over.In his consciousness, because he was once in a dilemma between love and family, he imagined countless scenes of grief when he broke up with Maisui.But now, the mother who tried to obstruct them has passed away, and when Maisui really left behind the symbolic door key, he couldn't find any sad feeling.Only then did he think that their love had come to an end before Maisui wrote this letter.Just like the former oasis of Shahu Lake, it is slowly shrinking under the attack of the two deserts of Tengger and Badain Jaran.And the last paragraph of the letter: If I am destined to spend my whole life waiting, I will wait my whole life on the way we meet... This is the footnote that Maisui made for their love, right? Luo Yang didn't bother to change his shoes, and chased him down the street with his slippers on.Anyway, he felt that at this point he should find her.But it was too late after all, the streets were full of strangers' faces.He stood dejectedly on the side of the road for a long time. What should go always has to go, what should come will always come. Luo Yang went back to the house, read the letter left by Maisui, and read it again.He firmly remembered the last sentence: If I am destined to wait for my whole life, I will wait for my whole life on the way we meet... Two lines of manly tears flowed down his resolute and well-defined face.He thought he would never see her again. Two months later, Luo Yang received a call from Maisui, and she came to Shacheng suddenly.Luo Yang went to the station to pick her up.He saw her standing on the bustling platform wrapped in a red scarf, so eye-catching among the dusty crowd.So he walked up to her and took her hand as always.They went to a modest restaurant near the bus station, where they had their last lunch (or dinner). He later learned that her last supper with him was nothing more than a ritual, a ritual of eternal separation.Because when they walked out of that restaurant, they were alienated like strangers.She stepped on the last train to the county seat alone, and the red scarf fluttered in front of the car window, burning his eyes like fire.From then on, she stayed away from his life and became someone else's bride in the county town.He seemed to see her wearing a red dress at the wedding.The fire-like red was burning in front of his eyes, leaving a heart that could never be peaceful in the ashes.