Chapter 9 Chapter 8 Just lost to time

I forgot when Ma Yu officially entered Sangli's house. Sang Li stared dumbfounded at the men's shirts, shoes, aftershave and other small items gradually occupying his empty and almost lonely house, and only one thing came to his mind: "What about YOYO?" Ma Yu smiled: "One three five, two four six!" Sang Li was stunned for a moment, then came to his senses, grabbed the pillow from the sofa and threw it over in resentment.The man in front of her laughed and caught it easily, and sat down beside her, hugged her comfortably with one hand, and pressed the TV remote control with the other.

Sang Li strangled Ma Yu's neck and gritted his teeth: "I have no plan to keep a man." Ma Yu nodded, looked at the TV and replied, "I work voluntarily." Sang Li was furious: "Get lost—" Ma Yu laughed: "Sang Li, I thought you could only speak with that numb expression, aren't you quite lively?" Sang Li struggled to break away from Ma Yu's arm, his face flushed, "I'm asking about something serious, can you rest assured that YOYO is alone at home?" Ma Yu leaned comfortably on the back of the sofa and replied, "Her mother took her on a trip, and I promised her that I would find another mother No. 2 for her before she comes back."

Sang Li rolled her eyes: Mom number two? Ma Yu tilted his head to look at Sang Li, and smiled. He stretched out his hand to take Sang Li's hand, and said to himself: "It's really strange, I don't like beautiful women very much, but why do I like you when I see you? Maybe it's me People really don't have the talent to choose a spouse, either by drinking and having sex, or by accident..." Sang Li couldn't help laughing: "Mr. Ma, we've only known each other for more than half a year." Ma Yu nodded: "Really, it can be seen that love cannot be measured by the length of time."

Sang Li stretched out his hand to touch Ma Yu's eyebrows, with a calm tone and warm intimacy: "Are you sure you want to be with me? When I haven't figured out my own thoughts, you won't regret it?" Ma Yu held her hand and looked into her eyes with a sincere expression: "Sang Li, what do you think marriage is like?" Sang Li was stunned: Yes, what is marriage like? Ma Yu said slowly: "Actually, I don't have feelings for YOYO's mother. At least after YOYO was born, we also had a seemingly good time. But I always feel that something is missing. After meeting you, I I know, it’s actually just some longing.”

He put his arms around her and said slowly: "Missing this thing, I feel like it's just a habit when I'm around, but when I'm not around, I suddenly feel empty in my heart. Sometimes you may lie to yourself that it's just a habit, but If you think about it carefully, if you were a different person, would you still get used to it?" Sang Li was taken aback: Yes, if it wasn't for Ma Yu, would I get used to it? There is also YOYO, that small, soft girl who giggles when she smiles, her eyes are narrowed into two small crescents... She makes me who never like children fall in love with her, like the kind of hugging her In your arms, give her story time.Maybe little YOYO is a little witch herself. She has the magical power to open the long-sealed lock in a person's heart.

Ma Yu breathed a sigh of relief: "Sang Li, from the moment you get used to and trust someone, you have actually entered the category of liking. At least, this principle is applicable to people like us who are not easy to trust others of." Sang Li was shocked, and looked up at Ma Yu, his eyes flickered faintly, and there was a beautiful star in them.There were fine lines of laughter at the corners of his eyes, faintly showing with his smile.At the age of thirty-two, he is not very young, just like himself at the age of twenty-eight, he has also passed his best years. Ma Yu gently rested his chin on her shoulder, and she could hear his slight sigh: "Sang Li, the so-called marriage is that God tailors a person for you because of your conditions. In the dark, What he has, is what you need. You live together, so you have everything."

What he has is what you need... Sang Li chewed this sentence over and over again, what do I need? Warmth, the arms of a man, and maybe, a child? She was silent like this for a long, long time. I don't know how long it took, but she smiled.She straightened up and looked into Ma Yu's eyes quietly. She asked him: "Ma Yu, do you love YOYO very much?" Ma Yu nodded without thinking. Sang Li sighed strangely: "Then... maybe you are really the person God created for me in the dark." Ma Yu didn't understand. Sang Li stretched out her hand and gently stroked Ma Yu's eyebrows, eyes, cheeks, and ears. Her eyes gradually blurred, but her face showed clear reason and calmness. Her voice was full of unspeakable sadness. She said: "Ma Yu Yu, if we're together, we won't have children anymore, okay?"

Ma Yu looked at Sang Li in surprise, he didn't seem to have time to digest the information in this sentence, he subconsciously asked, "You don't want a child of your own?" Sang Li smiled, her smile was bitter and charming, her voice was distant and ethereal, she said: "I'm sorry, I didn't tell you, after the accident, I can no longer have children." She turned her gaze elsewhere, and her voice gradually lost emotion: "I'm not a complete woman, do you want me like this?" Ma Yu was stunned for a long time, until Sang Li's heart died a little bit, he heard him muttering: "Does YOYO really have special powers?"

"What?" Sang Li turned to look at Ma Yu. Ma Yu explained: "Today I told YOYO that if Sang Li was your mother, you could still have a younger brother or younger sister, but she told me categorically—'absolutely impossible'!" "Ah?" Sang Li was really frightened. Ma Yu cleared her throat: "I asked her why, and she said no why, she just wouldn't, although she really wanted to have a little follower like Su Nuofei, but she didn't think we would give her a little brother or little brother." Sister out." Sang Li was dumbfounded. However, Ma Yu gradually widened his smile until he couldn't help it. He hugged the pillow and lay on the armrest of the sofa and laughed loudly: "Sang Li, look, we are really a match made in heaven!"

Sang Li tilted his head to look at Ma Yu, then thought about the weird YOYO, and finally laughed too. The sun was so bright in midsummer, Sang Li reached out to pat Ma Yu's back, but he grabbed his wrist unexpectedly, and fell into his arms following the trend.He leaned down and kissed, Sang Li closed his eyes, and finally, after several years, he once again knew what it was like to trust someone unguardedly. After calling Gu Xiaoying a few days later, Sang Li asked her: "Mr. Gu, you said that you trust someone out of nowhere, is that logical?" Teacher Gu is obviously very satisfied with his role as a love expert: "Of course it is logical, there is still love at first sight! Do you need a reason to love someone, no! So, do you need a reason to trust someone, of course you don't need it! "

Sang Li was a little dizzy from being surrounded by her, thought about it again, and changed the way of asking: "Then did you trust Big Brother Guan from the beginning?" Gu Xiaoying laughed: "Just a fool like Guan Tong, I guess anyone would trust him." Sang Li was speechless—34-year-old Guan Tong, the young deputy director of the General Office of the Provincial Party Committee, is such a fool? Gu Xiaoying never forgets to urge Sang Li: "Hey, when are you getting married? I think Ma Yu is a nice person. Let me tell you that there is no such shop in this village..." Sang Li hesitated: "However, trust does not equal love after all." Gu Xiaoying snorted: "Even a senior romance novel researcher like me doesn't believe in love or not, do you still believe it? Tell you, Sang Li, if you feel warm and trustworthy, hurry up and marry yourself off. Youth is short, we cannot afford to waste it." Sang Li sighed slightly: "Really...but if you want to say it's suitable, maybe we are really suitable..." Gu Xiaoying laughed gossipingly: "Really? Tell me quickly, how is it appropriate?" Sang Li thought for a while and said: "For example, he has a daughter, and I can't have children; they all live in the same community, so it is convenient for me to continue to take care of my shop; his major is the same as mine, so I can Helping each other can also understand each other... But Xiaoying, these things are too smooth and perfect, so I will be afraid, afraid that these are just soap bubbles, and one day they will shatter." After a while, she heard Gu Xiaoying answer slowly: "Sang Li, nothing in this world is too smooth and perfect, you have already suffered all the hardships in the first 28 years, and in the future, the rest will be good days. " Sang Li didn't speak, but his throat was a little choked. Putting down the phone, Sang Li sat alone on the seat by the window of "You and Me" drinking tea. It is said that rose tea can beautify and nourish the skin—it is not the unscrupulousness of a little girl, when the skin can be easily broken, not to mention rose tea, even drinking alcohol has no side effects. So, still old. Thinking of this, I couldn't help but think of YOYO. A few days ago, I was squatting with Su Nuofei in front of a two-year-old child's stroller in the yard. She asked the baby seriously: "Do you like this?" A small pink cake dangled in his hand. The child stretched out her hand to snatch it, but she refused to give it to others, and said with a proud expression: "Then you have to listen to me from now on." After thinking about it, he pointed to Su Nuofei: "Be like him." Su Nuofei was a little angry, but he still didn't dare to challenge YOYO's "pretentious power", and crouched timidly to the side to watch the excitement. YOYO waited until the baby was crying so anxiously that he stuffed the snacks, and wiped the baby's mouth solemnly, and then said to himself: "What a child..." The adults around were laughing up and down. Sang Li couldn't help laughing: It seems that even a four-year-old girl knows how to sigh that she is old when facing a two-year-old doll... "Sang Li?" A hesitant voice suddenly came from beside him, interrupting Sang Li's thoughts. She turned her head, and through the sunshine under the floor-to-ceiling windows, she saw the figure of a young woman in a trance, so strange and yet so familiar, she instantly choked her breath! "It's really you?" The woman approached a little closer, the expression on her face changed drastically, and within a few seconds, she had changed hundreds of times. Sang Li looked at the changed but still familiar face of the woman in front of him, so many memories flooded out in an instant, he suddenly didn't know what to say.After a long time, she greeted with some difficulty: "Tian Miao?" Not in a trance. Is the woman in front of me really Tian Miao? The last time I saw her was six years ago. Standing in the scent of hibiscus in the flower tree, she gritted her teeth and said: Sang Li, do you know that you are a bitch who can do everything you can? And the last time I heard her voice was three years ago, when she was lying in the hospital in despair, she called Xiang Ning's mobile phone and screamed on the phone: Sang Li, why are you still alive? ! ... However, the woman in front of me, with exquisite makeup, shows the superiority and vigor of a high-level white-collar worker in her gestures, is she still that Tian Miao?Or, he is no longer the old Sang Li? "I didn't expect...it's really you." Tian Miao's voice was a little cold, but what surprised Sang Li was that there was no such hatred as in the past when they met each other.But, it's also strange, when she confronted Tian Miao in the past, she had infinite passion to scold and even fight with Tian Miao, but now, she no longer has that hostility, and she just wants to get up and escape - escape from those memories, those entanglements, those pasts. It was once, but in fact, it was only three years. After a while, Sang Li asked first, "How did you find this place?" Tian Miao took a seat opposite Sangli and looked at her quietly: "Do you still remember Shen Jie?" "You know him?" Sang Li looked at Tian Miao in surprise. "He's my boss," Tian Miao said with a half-smile on his face, "Sometimes, I have to admit that there is indeed a fate between you and me." Under the bright sunlight, Sang Li closed his eyes for a moment, and heard Tian Miao ask: "Aren't you surprised how I know about you and Shen Jie?" "Didn't you know it back then?" Sang Li opened his eyes and looked into Tian Miao's eyes indifferently, "Because of this incident, you scolded me bloody." "No, at that time we only knew that you abandoned Xiang Ning for a rich man, but I didn't know that man was Shen Jie," Tian Miao shook her head, "Actually, after I became President Shen's secretary, a very accidental Only then did I know everything in Liyuan.” "Li Yuan?" The answer was finally revealed, even if he knew it a long time ago, at this moment, it still made Sang Li lose his mind for a moment. "Follow me to see Li Garden." Tian Miao suddenly couldn't continue, as if this sentence was the bottom line for her to maintain her demeanor.When she said this, her hands tightly grasped the glass in front of her, and her fingers seemed to turn pale white. But Sang Li didn't notice this, her expression became confused because of the flashing memories, she thought for a long time before answering: "Tian Miao, I don't want to be the self that people despise anymore, don't you do the same Do you want it?" The moment these words were uttered, something collapsed between Sang Li and Tian Miao—was it the contempt and hatred from the past?Sang Li didn't know, but she could clearly feel that there was something that intervened in an instant, blocking her thoughts that she thought would become clear.In a trance, she seemed to be able to feel Tian Miao taking a deep breath the moment she lowered her head. "I worked very hard to escape, no matter if it was fame, fortune or love, I don't want those temptations anymore. God punished me, and the price I paid was far beyond ordinary people's imagination, but I don't resent, I deserve it," Sang Li Said these words slowly and firmly, these words she had never said to Gu Xiaoying or Ma Yu, "Tian Miao, I always thought you and I were enemies, but later I learned that the so-called enemies in this world are Politics, military, economics... There are also people like us who are ethical, but because of different positions. You are not wrong, and our sisters should not be the eternal heroines and hateful supporting actresses in bitter dramas. After all, who Isn't it the protagonist in my own play and the supporting role in other people's plays? Good or bad, I can't tell the difference..." Tian Miao opened her mouth, wanted to say something but didn't say it, Sang Li stretched out her hand and put it on the back of Tian Miao's hand, the warmth spread, Tian Miao suddenly felt a little sore in the eye sockets - she thought, shouldn't she hate it?This woman, who robbed her mother when she was a child, robbed the boy she had a crush on when she was older, and betrayed her body when she was older, but she can stand on the dazzling stage and walk into thousands of households with the TV broadcast.No one knows how Tian Miao endured the envy of the uninformed people around her in those years of adolescence. They said, "Tian Miao, you are so happy, your sister is so amazing"; Said "Tian Miao, you are a good boy, don't learn from your sister"... Of course, no one would know that during her four years in college, she looked at the boy she had been secretly in love with for many years, but she couldn't get close.She could only watch him be happy, watch him torture himself, and watch him cover up the coldness and loneliness deep in his heart with the glory of his career.In order to get rid of the desertedness, she tried to contact him in the name of asking for advice, approaching him in the name of a trainee, and she even wanted to apply for a job in the European Union for him.But by chance, she can only stay in the country, even if she jumps from one big company to another, the position is getting higher and higher, and the salary is getting better and better... Some loneliness is getting stronger and stronger, and no one can make up for it. At this time, she met Shen Jie. As written in the novel, there is really a kind of person in the world who has wealth and outstanding temperament.There are piles of girls who want to marry him, but he has not made promises or vows to anyone.After a long time, a group of girls in the head office firmly believed that their BOSS was gay, otherwise why would they have a golden mountain but no beautiful wife or son, or even gossip?With such a huge industry, you never worry about no one inheriting it? At first, Tian Miao thought so too.Even if "Li Yuan" was completed one by one by her hands, she never thought that these two words would have any connection with the girl she was so familiar with.Until one day, when Shen Jie fell ill, she finally had the opportunity to enter the bedroom he set up in the backyard of Liyuan, and the truth came to light. At that moment, she couldn't laugh or cry, she didn't know why she always collided with Sang Li? "Sang Li, when it comes to this point, I won't go around the bush anymore," Tian Miao sipped her saliva, thought for a while before saying, "Yes, we've all grown up, and only after watching it a lot can we realize that some hatred shouldn't exist in the first place. So, to be honest, I used to hate you very much, but now, I don’t hate you, and it’s not really hate. Although, we may never be able to get close.” She looked straight into Sang Li's eyes: "Sang Li, listen up, Shen Jie, he has liver cancer." Just for a moment, Sang Li's face turned pale. Liver cancer? How could it be - I just saw him in "Mei Se" a while ago, although he was a little thinner, he was still so gentle and refined.She didn't even look at him, but she knew that he was sitting there, listening to her singing quietly. At that time, wasn't he still in good shape? Suddenly I thought of Ai Ningning, such a lively, talkative and laughing person, because of cancer, he disappeared in a blink of an eye. Is it really a curse? Could it be true that none of the people around me can keep... Before going to the hospital, Sang Li finally went to Li Yuan with Tian Miao. This is Sang Li's first visit to Li Garden. The outer wall of the garden is even more beautiful than the posters, and the lush trees inside can be vaguely seen, with the blue tile roof, hiding in the depths of the garden.The cobbled road leading to the door is simple and lovely against the backdrop of a row of red lanterns.And there are red carps jumping on the lake in the yard, and a small clump of green bamboos is full of vitality by the stones of Taihu Lake.The beauty relies on being polished and polished, glowing with black oil.In the quiet afternoon, only the chirping of cicadas seemed louder, which seemed to echo the phrase "the forest is quieter with the noise of cicadas, and the mountain with birdsong is more secluded". Finally, after crossing a long corridor, Tian Miao stopped in front of a house by the lotus pond.She turned her head to look at Sang Li, suddenly there were a lot of inexplicable emotions in her eyes, Sang Li was taken aback, but also stopped. Tian Miao turned around, paused for a while, gently pushed open the door in front of her, walked in across the threshold, and then reached out to turn on the light in the room. Immediately, the room became extremely bright, shining brightly together with the huanghuali furniture that filled the room! Sang Li stood at the door, raised his head, and choked for breath in an instant! — In the middle of the main room, unexpectedly, is a portrait of yourself? ! Sophisticated and expressive brushstrokes outline the outlines of the characters in the painting, and the light colors are slightly blurred, showing the woman's light pink cheeks, light gray horseshoe-sleeved blouse, and moon-white long skirt, in the background of a large magnolia , with a bright smile, the country is overwhelmed! As if something suddenly took all the strength out of Sang Li's body, she looked at the painting in a daze, looking at herself in the painting—that dress was a gift from Shen Jie for her twenty-fourth year of birth, and it was expensive. But worth the money.When she put it on for the first time, in the courtyard of Shen's family in the southern mountain area of ​​G City, Shen Jie saw her in a daze, and said after a long time: "I only know now what is meant by 'Looking back, smiling, Bai Meisheng'." That day, he took this picture of her with his mobile phone and carried it with him all the time.Later one day he asked her while admiring the photos: "Sang Li, if one day you are not beautiful, can you accept it?" Of course not—she answered him in her heart at that time, but there was no embarrassment on her face, just perfunctory: "You can dump me at that time, anyway, you rich and powerful families, I can't afford it." Shen Jie was slightly annoyed: "I thought you would rely on me." "Absolutely not," she answered firmly, "you can rest assured that I will return your investment, but I will stay away as soon as you give an order. Just like you are a businessman, so you have to make ends meet, I As an actor, I will step down after the play is over, this is also my professional ethics." Shen Jie's expression was a bit gray that day, but he didn't say anything, he still took her hand and went out, rushed to the big banquet hall to greet her and see her off.At that time, how could she have imagined that he would really build Li Garden, and there would be such a painting? After an unknown amount of time, Sang Li looked away from the frame, only to see the shockingly familiar furnishings in this room! Armchairs with Ruyi pattern, bookcases with pin characters blocking the river, screens with Jingzhu pattern... And the moon-shaped trellis bed is hung with lotus-colored spun gauze, when the wind blows, it looks like a soft cloud! Sang Li fell down and sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes were blank, as if he had lost his soul. In the silence, she heard Tian Miao say: "If you can, go and be with him. Although I don't know why such a person needs to be so infatuated, even though I don't even believe that he misses someone other than being dumped This matter... But now, there is only so much I can do. Even if it is, I will repay all the suggestions he gave when I first joined Zhongyue. " Sangli's heart sank, his eye sockets were swollen, and his nose began to feel sour. Make a point... yes, in the past, why didn't he mention something to Sang Li? So today, Sang Li, do you really have the heart to turn a blind eye? The hospital still had that nasty smell of disinfectant. Sang Li hates this smell, because it is mixed with the disgusting old atmosphere, and it seems to remind you inadvertently: there is always something that you can't forget even if you spend your whole life. She slowed down, as if this could delay something, Tian Miao roughly realized it, but didn't speak. Because it is a high-grade ward, there are no random footsteps in the corridor, but the silence is filled with sunlight—pale, lifeless sunlight. Sang Li couldn't help shivering. Tian Miao walked to the door of a ward, opened the door and walked in. Sang Li stopped, but hesitated. Through the half-open door, she could even see Tian Miao standing by the bed.Looking at it from Sang Li's point of view, she couldn't see the face of the person on the bed, but she could still feel the familiar atmosphere - in the past, every morning, she would sit by the bed like this, reaching out to pat Shen Jie's face, to wake him up.When he stayed in bed, she pinched his nose to prevent him from breathing.He couldn't bear it anymore, he would open his eyes suddenly, stretch out his hand and pull Sang Li onto the bed, cover it tightly with the quilt, and form a ball, and then get up under Sang Li's hard struggle, stretching contentedly. That was only three or four years ago, only a thousand days and nights, how could life and death be discussed? Tian Miao talked softly to the person on the bed: "Mr. Shen, who do you see coming?" When she turned her head, Sang Li took a deep breath, and stepped into the door step by step with stiff hands and feet.The moment he entered the door, Sang Li's eyes met Shen Jie's—even though he was sick, his eyes were still piercing. After a while, Shen Jie laughed first. He waved his hand and called her as before: "Little girl, it's you." "Little girl" - at the moment of hearing this familiar title, Sang Li's heart seemed to be hit hard by a heavy object!Tears came up all of a sudden, and she blinked hard, trying to force the tears back.She looked straight at him, her legs and feet seemed to be fixed in place, she couldn't move, she just stood stiffly, looking at him blankly and sadly. She remembered that he used to call her like this before: "Little girl, hurry up, you're going to be late", "Little girl, what gift do you want", "Little girl, you can only be happy when you are content"... Little girl, is she still a little girl now? As if understanding her mind, Shen Jie smiled: "Little girl, you will always be a little girl in my eyes." The moment he smiled calmly, the sadness in Sang Li's heart suddenly surged even more, as if he was telling her: Sang Li, look, you are really a bastard. You killed your mother and lost Xiang Ning. Now it's your turn. Shen Jie... Despair came overwhelmingly, her lips moved, and she wanted to cry, but there were no tears.Seeing her like this, Shen Jie suppressed her smile slightly, took her hand, and held it tightly.After a while, he pulled her a little closer with a little more force.Then, he took her shoulders, and she obediently fell on his chest. Like countless times before, all the movements are tacitly the same as before.Even the angle at which she lay on his chest was still so fitting.At this moment, even Sang Li was in a daze: Is there really only a deal between them? They have been together for four years, except for a marriage certificate, they are even familiar with the most secret information in each other's bodies - if there is no "love" in these four years, is there any "love"? In the silent room, Tian Miao had left at some point.They hugged each other quietly and snuggled for a long time. They didn't speak, just listened to each other's breathing. It was the first time that Sang Li felt that the human heartbeat was so beautiful. That is the voice of life, and it is only when it is too late to know the beautiful voice. After an unknown amount of time, Sang Li heard Shen Jie speak. He patted Sang Li on the back slightly, calmly, more like talking to himself: "That year, you left the hospital without saying goodbye. I checked all the flight records, and there was no registration for you. I I went to find you in every city you might go to, and even went to Suzhou for a whole day in the Lingering Garden. When the sun went down, the park was going to be locked, and I couldn’t wait to dig three feet. I was in every Maybe there is a 'Li Garden' in your city, and I didn't expect to find you, but who would have thought that I would see you in Sheng Jin's place." Having said that, he took a slight breath.She raised her head and looked at him worriedly, but saw the familiar emotions in his eyes. Warm, affectionate, pampering, pleasantly surprised—such distinct emotions, how could she fail to see that it was love? He continued to speak slowly: "When you sang "Trout", I couldn't believe my eyes. I handed you a note to ask you to sing again. I was afraid that you would recognize my handwriting, so I deliberately scribbled it. When I heard you sing "I Live at the Head of the Yangtze River", I even wanted to stand up and tell you that I am also by the Yangtze River, and we are the ones who drink the water of the Yangtze River, but I didn't dare..." He smiled helplessly: "I never knew that I would be cowardly." He looked at her and sighed: "It's strange, when I was thirty-one and you were nineteen, I didn't feel much difference between us; but when you were twenty-eight and I was forty, I just realized that you just grew up, but I am old." He smiled bitterly, glanced at Sang Li, then closed his eyes and stopped talking. However, his hand still patted Sangli's back lightly, as if she was a child in his arms. Sang Li lowered her head and did not speak. Gradually, even she herself could feel that the front of Shen Jie's pajamas became wet. That day, she sent away the nurse and stayed in the hospital by herself, learning to take care of him for the first time. In the twilight, she watched him press the liver area with her eyes, bending over in pain, she wanted to cry in anxiety, but there was nothing she could do to help.She could only hug him tightly and listen to his painful breathing, wishing that the one who hurt was herself! Gradually, the pain passed, and he looked at her covered in sweat. She turned her back and wiped away her tears, but she could still hear him trying to comfort her: "Don't cry, little girl, you will be fine after the operation." He held her hand: "I still want to attend your wedding." Hearing these words, Sang Li turned around abruptly, fixedly looked at Shen Jie, but saw his eyes full of tolerance, extremely gentle: "Little girl, when will you and Ma Yu get married?" Sang Li was taken aback for a moment, then asked stupidly: "How do you know?" He smiled, the smile was tired but full of indulgence: "It took me three years to find you, how could I miss any news about you?" When he said this, more despair surged in Sang Li's heart. She tried her best to suppress the throbbing pain in her heart, got up and went to the bathroom to mix hot water and bring it out.When she left, she could even feel Shen Jie's eyes chasing her all the way, so she only had time to hastily wipe away a few tears in the bathroom. Sang Li with a smile. Just like three years ago. She sat back on his bed and twisted the towel. Shen Jie just looked at her straight, as if she couldn't get enough of it.She didn't speak, just gently unbuttoned his pajamas and wiped off the sweat on his body bit by bit.He even stiffened slightly when the warm towel touched his skin, but she ignored it and continued to rub it carefully.After wiping, help him change into pajamas, and then wash the towel and prepare to wipe his lower body.She was about to help him take off his pajama pants, but Shen Jie hurriedly pressed her hand. "I'll do it myself," he coughed and joked, "I'm not terminally ill yet, why do you think I can't take care of myself?" But Sang Li ignored her and continued to work on her own—at that moment, she really seemed to be that stubborn little girl who couldn't be pulled back by nine horses. Shen Jie couldn't resist her, so he could only hold her hand, earnestly like never before: "Little girl, it's different now, you are getting married, so you can stop worrying about me, you understand?" Before she finished speaking, Sang Li's tears finally opened. She threw the towel into the basin and gritted her teeth: "Shen Jie, shut up!" Although she was full of momentum, her voice was a little trembling, and Shen Jie was stunned. Under Shen Jie's dazed gaze, Sang Li reached out to wipe away his tears, and continued to help him take off his pajama pants.This time, Shen Jie went with her. She wiped him carefully, just like his wife. Wife—Thinking of this, Shen Jie couldn't help closing her eyes and sighing deeply. It's been nine years, and he's been waiting for this feeling for nine years. However, when his little girl was finally ready to be a wife, it was too late for him to marry her. It's actually only at this moment that I know what it means to be "heart-wrenching"! It turns out that the deepest sorrow in this world is not not loving you, but when I know I love you—but it's too late. The next day, Sang Li returned home early in the morning.When I opened the door, I saw a room filled with smoke. She stood at the door in a daze for a moment, let out a cigarette, and finally saw Ma Yu's back on the sofa. In the faint morning light, his back was like a stone, motionless, a little thin, a little haggard. Sangli entered the house and closed the door, and went over Ma Yu to open the window, letting fresh, grass-scented air flood into the room. When she did this, out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Ma Yu was still sitting there, motionless. She turned around and walked to Ma Yu's side, reached out to take down his cigarette, and put it out in the glass bowl that was temporarily used as an ashtray. She even noticed a little bit of water in the glass bowl—Ma Yu, he was still the man who was a bit of a clean freak, and he was obviously ready to wait for her all night. She got a little closer, squatted in front of Ma Yu, raised her head, and could see Ma Yu's eyes: after staying up all night, her eyes were red with stubble rushing out, but strangely, there was no emotion in those eyes. I don't know how long it took, but when Sang Li felt his legs start to go numb and his upturned neck started to feel sore, Ma Yu finally said, "Sang Li, do you have time today? Let's register." Sang Li's eyes widened suddenly. It seems that it was only then that she realized that Ma Yu was wearing a shirt in a serious manner, holding a red velvet box tightly in his hand all the time - no need to think about it, there must be a wedding ring in it! "I've been waiting for you all afternoon and one night, but you can't get through on the phone. I came here happily, but I just wanted to propose." Ma Yu raised his hand, rubbed his eyes, and smiled bitterly, "But it's okay, there's still time now, today is a good day Days, Sang Li." He reached out to embrace her, opened the velvet box, and the beautifully cut baguettes were shining brightly in the first rays of sunlight in the morning! Sang Li was completely stunned. Ma Yu was so solemn: "Sang Li, I beg you to marry me." Sang Li didn't speak, just looked at Ma Yu stupidly, and then at the ring, feeling a little dizzy—from yesterday to now, too many accidents rushed to appear on the stage, causing her to be in chaos! Maybe she was really calm for too long, otherwise, how could she become such a easily frightened person? While she was in a daze, Ma Yu put a ring on her.She lowered her head and saw the brilliance on her ring finger. Over the years, the men around her have come and gone, and many of them have said that they want to marry her, but she has only seen this one wedding ring. What an ironic comparison, isn't it? Ma Yu got up and pulled Sang Li up.As soon as her legs softened, Ma Yu had already hugged her into his arms.He lowered his head, kissed her earlobe, neck, and cheek, and pressed his hand tightly on her waist, which was so hot that it seemed to be on fire! However, Sang Li's mind is rare clear: at that moment, when she looked up, she suddenly remembered Shen Jie's eyes, gentle, loving, haggard... In the next second, before she even realized it, she had already pushed Ma Yu away! Both of them were stunned. The window was open, and the wind was blowing in, and it brushed against the skin, which was so damp that it seemed to be dripping. Ma Yu stared blankly at Sang Li, with an uncontrollable disappointment in his eyes, he didn't speak, but just looked straight at him, and gradually, the disappointment turned into deathly gray despair. His tone was so calm: "Sang Li, you don't want to?" Sang Li wanted to shake his head, but his whole body seemed to be filled with oar, heavy and unable to move. Ma Yu sat back on the sofa dejectedly, lit another cigarette, and said slowly: "You know, Sang Li, when I was with Ai Ningning, I thought marriage was a matter of course, and when I was with Shu Yan , Marriage is a kind of responsibility that must be borne, but only when you are with you. Marriage is a strong desire. I never thought that I would fall in love at first sight at this age. After thinking about it, it might not be love at first sight. It's the sympathy for each other after being curious about each other, and gradually develops into more appreciation after getting to know each other. I like the feeling that we cook together, eat together, and play with YOYO together. In fact, we are getting closer and closer because of this family activity So, Sang Li, I am not impulsive, nor am I obsessed with your appearance, I really want to marry you, Sang Li, live together, support each other, and spend the rest of my life." He looked at Sang Li: "Sang Li, I love you, not only the love of love, but also the love of family affection. We are not children anymore, you should understand what I mean. After so many things, I found out that it is not only the love of love, but also the love of family affection. Living this kind of step-by-step life is actually the happiest. It is impossible for us to forget the past, so let’s hide the past and live a peaceful and contented life together, okay?” He held Sang Li's hand, and Sang Li lowered his head, seeing the light of the diamond on his ring finger, which seemed to burn her eyes.She was silent for a while, and finally took off the ring slowly, and put it back in Ma Yu's palm. She raised her head, looked at Ma Yu, and said slowly, "Shen Jie has liver cancer." Ma Yu was stunned. The sky was bright, and the flowers downstairs were filled with the fragrance of blossoms, but in Sangli's heart, something collapsed in despair. Ma Yu—Actually, I told you a long time ago that no one who falls in love with me will have a good home. Now, I feel more and more that this is a spell that I cannot break or escape. At this time, can I agree to your marriage proposal? I don't even know if I love you or hurt you. And Shen Jie—maybe, I really didn't meet you at the most suitable time. Because once, I could only see this radiant world in my eyes, but I couldn't see those who loved me alone. At that time, I was only twenty-one years old. I thought I had a lot of time at my disposal and I could have all the things I wanted. But later I learned that time is stronger than me, it changed me, but never looked back. Fight against time, I am doomed to lose. When Sang Li went to participate in "Variety Show 60" for the first time, in the brightly lit studio, he deeply realized the world of difference between the two treatments - when the show was canceled, he was a knife and I was a fish; It was a blessing to have a smiling host, envious and curious audience, and I was the one being interviewed after singing. Amidst the thunderous applause, there seemed to be a faint temptation of "quasi-celebrity" floating in the air. At the age of 21, Sang Li felt for the first time that wealth itself has such a moving temptation. After getting along with Shen Jie for a long time, I gradually discovered his unavoidable advantages: knowledgeable, calm, calm, rich, generous, and has many friends... Probably this is the benefit of "experience". Sang Li clearly saw the advantages from Shen Jie that he couldn't see from the boys around him. There are even some that Xiang Ning doesn't have. However, she was unwilling to compare Xiang Ning and Shen Jie.Because Xiang Ning is a special existence to her, she can't give up and can't bear to leave. Subconsciously, she wanted to procrastinate, so exhausted until Shen Jie was exhausted, or she was exhausted.Because there must always be one party giving up, and this stretched string can be completely relaxed. She knows herself so well: if she wants to reject Shen Jie, she can't do it.After all, his promise, such a brilliant and alluring promise, she couldn't refuse. So, she could only wait, she waited naively, wanting to wait until Shen Jie gave up voluntarily. However, she didn't expect that Shen Jie was still much more sophisticated than her after all - he might have already guessed her plan to delay the attack. How could a person like him tolerate a little girl playing tricks in front of her? It's not that he can't see it: Sang Li has long been tempted, otherwise he wouldn't have taken out the flower gun to play with him. He decided to add fuel to the flames, the method is very simple, he only needs to show up with Sang Li at a series of banquets, in the name of bringing her to the world, but in fact, it is easy for everyone, including Duan Rui, to see her through his gestures of intimacy. The relationship between the two has long been unusual. And before and after each banquet, he would go to pick up Sang Li at the gate of the Academy of Art—the first time that silver BMW parked at the gate of the school might only attract a few amazed eyes, but as time went by and the number of times increased, it was at the gate of the school. When Sang Li didn't notice it, more and more eyes became meaningful.Gradually, many people on campus got to know that extremely beautiful girl, and people would often point at Sang Li and say, "Look, that's the sugar daddy from the Music Department"... At the beginning, Sang Li didn't know anything about it. Because the speed of spreading rumors is often much faster than the awakening speed of the parties involved. In comparison, the girls in 407 responded faster. On Saturday afternoon, Sang Li still couldn't see anyone, and the rest of them were hiding in the dormitory.Cai Xiang also hesitated for a long time before he hesitated and asked Mu Xin: "What's going on with Sang Li?" Mu Xin looked up from "International Advertising" with a confused expression: "What's wrong with Sang Li?" Cai Xiang was surprised: "Haven't you heard?" Mu Xin was even more confused: "What did you hear?" Gu Xiaoying was sleeping with her head buried in her head. Hearing such a constructive topic, she also lifted the quilt covering her head: "What's wrong? What happened?" Cai Xiang said angrily, "It's spread all over the outside world, saying that Sang Li is a sugar daddy." Gu Xiaoying intuitively retorted: "Impossible!" Mu Xin didn't speak, just sat on the bed, staring thoughtfully at the branches outside the window. Cai Xiang frowned: "I also think it's impossible, Sang Li and Xiang Ning are so good, you didn't see that no matter how busy Xiang Ning was, he still squeezed time to make a phone call, I saw that Sang Li had a sweet expression on his face every time he answered the phone , how could it be sugar daddy?" Gu Xiaoying sat up and asked, "Where did it come from?" Cai Xiang didn't wait for an answer, but Mu Xin said, "There must be something wrong." "What?" Gu Xiaoying and Cai Xiang were taken aback. The two of them looked up at the upper bunk, and Mu Xin lowered his head and sighed: "Did you really not see that car?" "What car?" Gu Xiaoying hid to read and write novels whenever she wasn't in class, she didn't know what to hear. Cai Xiang stared at Mu Xin with wide eyes: "Have you really seen it?" Mu Xin sighed: "Silver BMW, the boys in our class said it cost more than one million yuan. I can honestly say that I don't understand cars, but I know that such an expensive car is really not affordable for ordinary people." Gu Xiaoying and Cai Xiang gasped. Mu Xin sighed, turned to ask Cai Xiang: "Xiangcai, you are a local, but you tell me, in the eyes of your provincial people, how is the reputation of our school?" Cai Xiang was stunned. Gu Xiaoying also stared at Cai Xiang: "Yes, Coriander, before I came here to study, our classmates told me that this is the largest dye tank in the provincial capital. You have lived here for more than 20 years. Are you really Do you think this is a dye vat?" Cai Xiang finally smiled wryly. Under the burning eyes of Mu Xin and Gu Xiaoying, Cai Xiang said slowly: "My cousin is a graduate student of instrumental music in our school. My mother has been working hard to introduce her boyfriend. Last week I mentioned this to our neighbor’s uncle. At first they thought that my cousin’s conditions were pretty good, but then they heard that she was from the Art Academy, so they asked directly, “Can I find someone who is not from the Art Academy”... You don’t know, I was so angry at the time, but I couldn't show it." She lowered her head slowly, sat on the edge of the bed, and said in a low voice while wiping her glasses: "Actually, there are many objective and rational people among the local people, but there are always some people with such and such prejudices. For example, I heard that Once you are a girl from the Art Academy, you always think that you can be disrespected, and your speech and behavior are very frivolous; some people hear that you are from the Art Academy, and think that you should be beautiful, if you are not beautiful, it is a heinous crime; Zhou I went to the optical shop to get glasses, and the clerk asked me in amazement, "Don't you people in art colleges don't read books, why are you still short-sighted"..." She put on her glasses, raised her head and sighed: "But what can I do? After all, there are always some people who are used to generalizing. For such people, you can't make sense." Even Gu Xiaoying smiled wryly: "That's right, it's terrible to say 'no culture'. Therefore, philosophy must be learned. Grandpa Marx is so wise. He told everyone to learn the dichotomy and the two-point theory. Two embroidered pillows can kill a boatload of people." "Which one is Sangli?" Mu Xin asked suddenly. No one answered. It's winter, and the north wind is howling outside the window, but the room 407 is rarely quiet. It was also this winter that the love between Sang Li and Xiang Ning entered the most fragile period. Xiang Ning is very busy with work, so busy that he rarely has time to contact Sang Li.The occasional contact was very short: on the phone, she couldn't understand what he said, and basically only knew that he was busy with training, busy with translation, and busy with receiving leaders who came out of nowhere... He said that he Sang Li could only sleep for four or five hours a day, and Sang Li felt a little distressed. And all she can do is tell her over and over again: Brother, you have to take care of your body and take care of yourself... She doesn't know, is it because we have been together for too long, so we have come from the most exciting and missing stage in high school, and all that is left is this kind of greeting? She said to herself in her heart: It has nothing to do with Shen Jie, nothing to do with Shen Jie at all. However, she is not uneasy: If it really has nothing to do with it, why is she still emphasizing these things? She was afraid, she was secretly and forbearably afraid, she was afraid that those past cares, misses, reluctance, and those warm and wanton little emotions would really disappear.She was horrified to find that she thought of Xiang Ning less and less in the days when he was not around, and she told herself that it was because she was too busy, and she would never admit that there must be a deeper reason for all these changes , ready to come out, but was pressed tightly. She may not have known at that time that the biggest consequence of love coming too early may be-when everything comes too smoothly, you will not cherish it if you have not tasted the pain of loss. What's more, the person who should be cherished is thousands of miles away. What maintains the relationship between each other is the self-confidence of childhood sweethearts and the telephone line of China Telecom-at that time, mobile phones were not very popular among students. It is impossible to express missing anytime, anywhere. Therefore, when a love is dying, apart from those unavoidable external forces, there must be something else, which comes from the willingness that we don't want to admit but always exists. Until that nightmarish night came, it was like a lead wire, which burned naturally when it met the fire. When the Spring Festival is approaching, the Academy of Art has already had a winter vacation.There are usually not many people on campus, and it is even more deserted now. Xiang Ning was only able to go home on New Year's Eve, Guo Yunhua left school early because of his mother's illness and went to her parents' home, Xiang Haoran was the secretary of the municipal party committee, not to mention right now, even on New Year's Eve, he had to visit those who couldn't go home for the New Year in that strange city... Everyone Being busy, Sang Li stayed alone in the dormitory, and could hear the echo even when he coughed. So Sang Li simply stayed in Zhongyue Henuan's coffee shop to play the piano for Duan Rui all day long, in the pretense that she wanted Duan Rui to take the postgraduate entrance examination at ease, but in fact it was because she didn't want to go back to the dormitory to look at the cold four walls, nor Go home and see the cold faces of Sang Yuecheng and Tian Miao. Shen Jie is also busy, but as long as he has time, he will still take Sang away to drink porridge with wild vegetables at his home in the southern mountainous area, or accompany her to classes at the conservatory of music—gradually, even Ye Yuxia will tease Shen Jie, "Does your father want to thank me? Let his son come back to Shanghai so frequently." However, Sang Li knew that Shen Jie never took her back to his home in Shanghai. But this is a good thing, the farther away from his world, the more Sangli will feel safe in his heart, and the less self-blame he will have.She admitted that she was still a little greedy—greedy for some of the opportunities he brought her, and perhaps also for the warmth he brought her when she was cold and lonely. Girls, even if they can resist the opportunity, it is difficult to resist the timely assistance in the cold night. It was really snowing that day. When Sang Li came out of Zhongyue, it was about 10:30, the bus had stopped, and she couldn’t get a taxi. She was in a daze on the street for a few minutes in despair, and finally decided to walk back to school— The distance of about three kilometers is actually not far away. If you take a shortcut and take the small alley next to the vegetable market, it will probably be closer. Before leaving, she looked up at the brightly lit revolving restaurant on the top of Zhongyue Building, and below that was Shen Jie's suite in Zhongyue.It was so late, he was probably either entertaining or dealing with official business.I didn't see him come to the coffee shop all night, and Sang Li suddenly felt a little bit down. The snow on the road was very thick, and Sangli walked forward step by step against the wind and snow, occasionally looking up to look around, not to mention taxis, even private cars were rare.She sighed resignedly, and turned the corner into a small alley where she could take a shortcut.Under the dim light in the alley, there was no one. Sang Li walked over and saw his own shadow turned into a long and thin strip, cast on the snow, which was a bit scary. Just when Sang Li was still thinking about the day when she would go home, an external force suddenly rushed from behind and dragged her to the ground.At that moment, Sang Li was still a little dazed, but then the big gloves covering her mouth and the heavy breathing in her ears told her—it wasn't falling down by herself, nor was she dreaming, but... Robbery? In the next second, Sang Li, who didn't even have time to shout, was dragged into a blind corner of the alley by a huge force. There was no light, and it was pitch black. There was probably a rain cloth above his head, and a damp brick wall behind him.Sang Li struggled desperately, but a thick glove tightly covered her mouth, and she couldn't make any sound.She couldn't see the man's face clearly, so she could only cry, kick, and kick, but out of nowhere, two hands grabbed her arms tightly, stuffed something into her mouth, and held her down fell to the ground.Immediately afterwards, a pair of cold hands reached into her skirt, pulled out her sweater, and tore off her corset strap with great force. Those dirty hands just touched her chest! Sang Li's head exploded completely! In the dark corner, she screamed "Woooooooooooooooooooo", she could clearly feel that there were at least two men behind her, and she could even feel the goosebumps when her body was exposed to the air, as well as the flood of fear and fear. despair.Tears poured out of her eyes, but her hands were bound, her ankles were tightly grasped, and her mouth was stuffed. She couldn't even shout "Help!" Those hands, those hands that couldn't see where they came from, pulled her pants without hesitation. Sang Li was in a hurry, but she couldn't break free.She struggled with all her strength, her body twisted continuously on the rough sandy ground, and she could even feel the sharp pain when the skin on her chest was worn away.The moment her legs were completely exposed to the air, Sang Li sprinted forward with all her strength, and hit her head on an iron bucket. The iron bucket fell to the ground with a loud roar. It's getting louder! At that moment, someone shouted on the road outside: "Who?!" The external force on her body disappeared in an instant, and the moment Sang Li's naked body fell to the ground, she could only vaguely see the backs of the two running, slender and young... they were clearly two children who hadn't grown up! Afterwards, eyes went dark, and Sang Li finally passed out completely. I woke up briefly in the middle, vaguely remembering the glaring white around me, as if I was in a hospital. About one policewoman asked, "Little girl, tell me, how can I contact your family?" In a daze, Sang Li reported Shen Jie's mobile phone number. Many times later, when Sang Li recalled that period, she would ask herself, why did she only think of Shen Jie at that time? She didn't want to answer. Because she couldn't deny that at that moment, when she was most afraid and lonely, her subconscious told her that Shen Jie would protect her. In this city, only Shen Jie is by her side. At that time, she might not really love him, but it cannot be denied that she believed in him. At 1:30 in the morning, just as Shen Jie was about to rest, he received a call from the Public Security Bureau. He almost thought his ears were broken. Sang Li was almost raped? The breath in Shen Jie's throat almost didn't come up! He ran out the door in three steps at a time, rushed into the elevator, and went straight to the underground parking lot.Then, in the silent snowy night, on the streets of G City, a silver BMW ran through a red light at a speed of hundreds of kilometers per hour! Shen Jie was terrified. It was only a dozen kilometers away from Zhongyue to the hospital, and there were very few cars on the road. It didn't take long for Shen Jie to step on the accelerator and rush into the hospital gate.It wasn't until the moment he saw Sang Li in the observation room, seeing her lying there quietly with her eyes closed, that heart gradually fell back from her throat. He walked over gently, to Sangli's bedside, and saw Sangli curled up under the quilt, into a small ball.He bent down and carefully lifted a corner of the quilt—as expected, the bare skin was covered with scratches and bruises, which had been medicated, but it was still shocking. Shen Jie's eyes darkened, and he turned and walked out of the observation room. The female policeman at the door interrogated as usual: "What is your relationship with the victim? We want to make a record for her, but she is currently in a bad mood..." "I'm her uncle," Shen Jie interrupted her, but his tone was sincere, "Thank you, officer, but I don't want to see her get hurt again. The lawyer will be here soon, let him talk to you. I was still with her before." He turned around and pointed at Sang Li, the female police officer hesitated for a moment, then nodded in agreement. It was nearly noon when Sang Li really woke up. She opened her eyes and saw a strange room.Turning his head slightly, he could see thick curtains beside him, the sunlight was blocked by the curtains, and only a little light leaked through the gaps.Look again, the furniture in the dark room is very simple, bed, bedside table, wardrobe, nothing more. She has never been here. where is this She moved her limbs subconsciously, and the touch between the skin and the soft silk told her that she was naked under the quilt. The memory gradually came back. It was a dream... That dark night, with wind and snow; the rough ground, the fine and sharp pain when the sand and stones rubbed on the body;