Chapter 6 I finally found Zhang Guoli

For some reason, I really want to discuss Song Ci and Yuan Ge with Zhang Chu. They are the only two girlfriends I have met in mainland China, and I cherish and value them equally.Both of them may have shortcomings of one kind or another, but who is perfect?Even if there were not so many coincidences, I would still be sincerely willing to get close to the two of them, and I only wish to see the truth and kindness in their temperaments, and our friendship will be stabilized day by day. People like to use flowers to describe beautiful girls, and they are more like flowers than all girls.If Song Ci is the beautiful peony, then Yuan Ge is a unique rose; if Song Ci is tulips, Yuan Ge is red poppy; Song Ci is cherry blossoms, Yuan Ge is jasmine; Song Ci is moonlit night, Yuan Ge is perfume Lilies; also bloom in the morning when the dew is not thin, Song Ci is a sunflower, Yuan Ge is morning glory; when it blooms in the deep mountains, Song Ci is Clivia, Yuan Ge is azalea; when it blooms in water, Song Ci is a lotus, Yuan Ge is a narcissus; Even if it’s the same chrysanthemum, Song Ci is about a lone mark that is proud of the world and who will hide it together, but Yuan Song is about killing flowers after I bloom; the same is plum, Song Ci is about sparse shadows, horizontal slanting, water is clear and shallow, Yuan Song is about dark fragrance, floating moon and dusk; Song Ci It is the endless green lotus leaves in the sky, and the Yuange is the redness of the lotus flowers in Yingri; they can coexist harmoniously in any season and environment, but they bloom in two completely different postures.No one can take away someone's beauty, and no one can suppress someone's fragrance.

But why do we have to fight for it?In fact, the two of them can completely keep the water in the well and not violate the river. If they must commit crimes, then it is better to join the river than to surf. The well water has its source, and the river water has a canal. Wouldn't it be better than war?But I can't figure out why two girls who are equally beautiful and intelligent are so entangled in this matter? What's more, the most painful thing is me who is sandwiched in the middle to make the pie filling. When I am alone with any one of them, the atmosphere is harmonious and harmonious, but as long as the two of them appear at the same time, there will be smoke and quarrels.I really hope that the two of them can become friends instead of enemies, but after racking my brains, I can't think of a good way to turn hostility into friendship.

Turn hostility into friendship.In ancient times, this matter seemed to be easier. Even if it was such a big matter as a two-country war, as long as the jade and silk were exchanged, the war could be quelled.But today, people have enough money and food, and have no worries about food and clothing, so they don't care about jade. Sometimes, I really want to suspect that two people had an indissoluble enmity in the previous life, and they moved to this life to repay it. I called Zhang Chu and asked him to borrow some materials about Qing Dynasty clothing.He readily agreed. "Meet you again." He said, his attitude was as gentle and polite as ever, and at the same time he handed me the book in his hand, "Here are the materials you want."

"Thank you. I didn't expect you to find them all so quickly." I was really happy, not just because of those books. "I started looking for it when I received your call. The request is very clear, and it's not difficult to search." He said, but for some reason, there was no joy in his eyes, but a little bit of distress. We walked side by side on the tree-lined road of the campus. From time to time, some students greeted him and looked at me curiously.He nodded mildly, calmly.I can't help thinking: In the eyes of his students, he must regard me as his girlfriend, right?This kind of speculation made me feel a kind of secret and unreasonable joy, and suddenly I thought of a word: Li Yingshuangshuang.

I didn't dare to turn my head to look at him, but secretly watched his figure cast on the ground. Walking in the campus, the smell of books on him became stronger, and his gentle voice was like the sound of nature. my heart.At this moment, I knew more clearly: I love him.Love his voice, love his look, love his manner, love the way he walks, love everything about him, love his whole person!But how do I let him know? I was nervously thinking about how to confess my love to him, but when the words came to my lips, I instinctively switched to Song Ci and Yuan Ge. "I really hope they can become friends and stop fighting. Every time I see them arguing, I feel uneasy. I feel that if this continues, something unfortunate may happen."

Zhang Chu stopped, looked at me, and said gently but firmly: "They will definitely become friends, because they have a common and rare friend like you." His praise made my face suddenly burn, I couldn't help lowering my head, and said softly: "Do you believe that there is a past life? Sometimes I really want to go back to the previous life to have a look, me and... Song Ci, Yuan Ge, Is it a predestined relationship in a previous life?" In fact, what I really want to say is "I really want to know, is there a predestined relationship between the two of us in previous lives?"

I don't know if he understood, but he didn't give a direct answer. He just said: "Current bacteria don't know the darkness, and crickets don't know the age. For them, seventy years of life is a long time, but you have to search for the past and present. , will you be too stubborn?" Ha, you actually talked about Zhuangzi with me. I laughed, all right, return the spear of the son to the shield of the son: "The son is not a fish, how can you know that the fish knows joy? How do you know that the cricket this spring is not the one from last year?" He was stopped by my question, he was taken aback for a while, and then he laughed loudly: "Okay, I can't say no to you." He sighed, "Such a smart person is stubborn and stubborn, I'm afraid he will hurt himself."

My heart suddenly moved, and I felt that there was something in his words, reminding me of something.But why can't I understand? He has already changed the subject: "For the topic of past life, many experts have done special discussions, but in the end it is still classified as metaphysics, which is regarded as mysterious by the world and cannot be demonstrated." "So, what do you think about mysteries? Do you believe that people have a past life?" I said, "I do, and I have believed in it since I was a child. Because, my mother said, when I was very young, there were often some people who had abnormalities." I will suddenly say some strange things, like my home is not here, the heel of high heels should be in the middle of the sole instead of the heel, etc. But when I grow up, I will gradually stop saying these things and remember I can't stop what I said. I guess, it should be the memory of my previous life."

Zhang Chu nodded thoughtfully, his eyes looked into the distance, maybe, to the invisible mysterious world.In the distance, the sun was rumbling down the mountain, and the sky was burning red. It was the kind of red that desperately fought, and it was so red that people's hearts became hot.Standing in the shroud of red light, Zhang Chu said softly: "The first person who sees the mirror regards it as a mystery, and those who have never seen the birth of a child also imagine that it is a kind of mystery, and even now it is a bit barbaric Local people still think that photography is a kind of soul-receiving technique. In fact, what is mysterious is not the world, but the human eye. The mystery familiar to human eyes is the ordinary.”

I was defeated again.Surrender completely.That's him.No one can be more intelligent and amiable than him, no one can really understand what I think like him, no one can speak so directly to my heart, fill all my imagination space, and occupy my entire emotion world.nobody.I can't expect more, and I can't expect that there will be someone cuter than him in this world.Maybe he's not the smartest and greatest, but that's all I want.I just want him.I just love him.He is my faith, my God! I stopped and looked at him, as if I had a thousand words to say, but I didn't know how to express them.

However, at this moment, he said softly: "About the topic of mystery, people are talking about it every day. Love is the most mysterious and unexplainable emotion in the world. My wife and I often discuss this issue." my wife!He said he has a wife! The ears suddenly became deaf. The world stands still and everything is silent.The world became extremely crowded in an instant, so crowded that there was no room for me to stand on, which made my existence seem so embarrassing and redundant!I don't know why I am standing here, I don't know why I am suddenly so redundant, I don't know what the purpose of living is.I looked at Zhang Chu in amazement. Similarly, I didn’t know why his eyes became so painful and anxious in an instant. The setting sun was burning vigorously, burning the universe into a pile of ashes, melting and scorching my heart, turning it into light smoke, which drifted away with the wind.There are thousands of longings in my heart, and thousands of longings, all of which are extinguished in the burning, but there is only one thread in my hand, which will not disperse. I looked at him, looking at him, as if looking into eternity with the last scene of this burning world.Then, I gradually woke up.Yes, he did it on purpose.He spoke casually of his family, his wife, his marriage in this deliberately casual way.He is married!His randomness is actually just a kind of careful deliberation, in order to let me understand the impossibility of love before I have time to confess it, and use it to fulfill my self-esteem and pride.But why bother?What's the use of being proud of me if love is gone? I suddenly smiled: "Mr. Zhang, I came here today to tell you: I like you. But now, it goes without saying, right?" He was tongue-tied and stared at me blankly, not knowing what to do. I bowed deeply, like a student to a teacher.If I can't love him, at least I can admire him, respect him, and appreciate him for his understanding and openness. I turned around, and he followed uncomfortably: "Tang Shi, I'll see you off." "No, I know the way." I said blankly, and hurried away before the tears flowed down. No, I don't want him to see my tears. Since he deliberately maintains my self-esteem and doesn't want me to be hurt, how can I have the heart to make him blame himself?He was right, he was so good and upright, I had no reason to disturb his peace by my gaffe.But, but where should I go?I don't want to go back to the hotel, I can't face the loneliness of the wild sky.I also don't want to see anyone, no one can understand my loss and despair at the moment. I became that six-year-old girl again, and returned to the low fence. My little friend Zhang Guoli left, and the snow lantern went out.I was surrounded by loneliness and loss. With my hands clasped, I stood in front of the house at a loss and watched the bus drift away, and finally drove out of my sight. For the first time, a girl's heart knew what parting is, what is it? What is missing, what is meeting indefinitely. Zhang Guoli, Zhang Guoli, if you are here, or you can comfort my failure, you can re-light a snow lantern to make me laugh, you can take me into the world of fairy tales and forget the troubles of this world.Zhang Guoli, where are you?You said you would marry me in twelve years, but seventeen years have passed, why haven't you appeared yet?There is no snow in Taipei in winter, and I have no snow lanterns. I have nothing but a dream about snow lanterns and a promise about wooden lanterns. Zhang Guoli, why haven’t you appeared yet? I walked on the street blankly, so many passers-by passers-by were not related to me.They don't recognize me, and I don't recognize them, but I still walk among them, why? In front of the bar, there are little girls selling roses, cheap love, three yuan a branch.There was a guitar singing in the bar: "Give me a glass of forgetful water, so that I will not shed tears for the rest of my life..." Have it?Forget love water?Is there really such a masterpiece in the world?It can make me forget the meeting in the courtyard, the reunion in Huangye Village, the conversation just now, and Zhang Chu after a cup. I walked in and smiled silly at the bartender. It was a handsome young man with emerald green hair. He whistled loudly and came forward to greet me: "Beauty, what would you like to drink?" "Forget love water." I replied. The young man smiled: "That's simple, red wine, white wine and fruit wine, you can get drunk immediately after one drink, and once you get drunk, everything will go away!" "is it okay?" "Of course." The boy pretended to be surprised and asked back, "Don't you know that the other name of Wangqingshui is alcohol?" I found a single seat in the corner and took out a banknote, "Please ask the singer to repeat this song ten times." "That's not okay. The other guests will be upset." "Then I invite all the guests to drink." The boy whistled again and asked loudly, "Is there anyone objecting to listening to the song ten times in exchange for a glass of wine?" People clamored, and someone replied: "If it is black, I agree." "I want a Martell Cordon Bleu!" "A cappuccino!" "Pretty in Pink!" I smiled victoriously, before drinking, I was already drunk: "Look, none of them have any objections." "But surely you can pay the bill?" I took out my money bag: "Leave ten yuan for me to take a taxi." The bartender counted, then blew his whistle, and said, "Twenty yuan is left for you." Then, he handed over the inexplicable glass of "red wine, white wine and fruit wine" and said, "Your water for forgetting love." I took it, drank it down, and said loudly: "One more glass!" From childhood to adulthood, I have been the heir of the family business, I am a withdrawn and introverted little girl, and I am a gentle and respectful lady.But now, I don't want to worry about all the etiquette, rules, and taboos anymore, I just want to be free, I just want to get drunk, I just want to sing and cry, I just want to sleep forever.Let me drink, let me sing, let me get as drunk as I can! "Give me a glass of forgetful water, so that I will not shed tears for the rest of my life..." the singer sang over and over again, and I sang along, and everyone in the bar sang along.It's been a crazy night.Give me a cup of forgetful water, so that I will not shed tears in my life.How much I want to have such a glass of water, how much I want not to be so sad, so helpless, so painful, so endlessly crying. I was crying, laughing, singing, pulling everyone in the bar and asking: "Do you know Zhang Guoli? Tell him, I'm waiting for him." The bartender came over and said, "Beauty, you are drunk." "This is the function of Wangqingshui." I pointed at him, "I want to sue you for selling fake medicines. Your Wangqingshui will only make people intoxicated, not Wangqingshui." I asked him again, "Do you know Zhang Guoli? Can you make snow lanterns?" "Zhang Guoli, is that your boyfriend?" "He is my fiancé." I smirked blissfully, my chest ached, and I didn't know which one caused me more pain, the anticipation of Zhang Guoli or the disappointment of Zhang Chu.I am like a drowning person, holding on to the last straw in my faith and praying to the sky. My straw is called Zhang Guoli!Only Zhang Guoli can save me!Only snow lanterns can comfort me!When all expectations fail, only a covenant about a hundred years can enrich me, or deceive me. "Do you know Zhang Guoli? Do you know Snow Lantern?" I asked everyone in the bar, they shook their heads at me, smiled at me, toasted me, and whistled.I didn't refuse anyone, I drank one cup after another, and then I grabbed the last customer in the corner and asked him, "Do you know? Do you know about snow lanterns?" He supported me and said painfully: "Tang Shi, I'll take you back!" His voice is gentle and generous, I suddenly shed tears, he is Zhang Chu! Zhang Chu!He actually followed me all the time, and all my embarrassment fell into his eyes. Tears flowed down uncontrollably, I wiped them with the back of my hand, but I couldn't finish it, and as soon as I left my hands, new tears gushed out again.I don't know how to hide my failure and loneliness, but there's no need to hide it, it's useless, I'm completely transparent in front of him, I can't attack, I can't resist, I can't fight back.I just passively explained in a low voice as if doing something wrong: "I'm sorry, I'm not drunk, it's just..." "I should say I'm sorry." He helped me sit down and handed me a big handkerchief, which was neatly folded. There are very few men in this era who use handkerchiefs, so it's rare, and it can be said to be a luxury.He has such a luxurious habit, thanks to his wife? ! He said: "I thought that telling you the truth earlier would make you feel better, but I didn't expect that you would be hurt like this..." "I didn't think of it either." Wiping away my tears, I was infinitely annoyed, how could I be so incompetent and make people look down upon me?I covered my face with my handkerchief, which quickly soaked, "Don't laugh at me, I've only known you for such a short time, even if I fell in love with you, it shouldn't be too deep, but, in my heart, I always feel , I have known you for a long time..." He suddenly sighed: "It's been a long time, it's been seventeen years." "What?" I looked up. Zhang Chu looked at me deeply, full of such profound contradictory pain: "There is one more thing, I don't know, should I tell you?" I held my breath, only to feel that there was a faint atmosphere of wind and thunder in the air, and suddenly there was an ominous fear, and I had a premonition that I would hear the most important, most terrifying, and most destructive sentence in my life. He begged him not to speak before leaving his mouth, and wanted to turn around and escape and never know the truth of the story, but I didn't do anything, just stared at him blankly, let him hit that fatal blow, and let that blow The blow blew my heart to pieces in an instant. He said: "I had another name when I was young, Zhang Guoli."