Chapter 12 When the dust settles, who is the frontier of who?

The job of "Night Angel" has already resigned, and I have to resign—my stomach is already bulging, and Gao Sheng will be back next month—if I don’t want to explain anything, I’d better learn from Xi Yan and disappear cleanly. The little nanny that Xiyan chose for me lived with me. At first she only worked as a part-time worker, cleaning the room and cooking rice and soup at regular intervals.But now I can't do without people, and I am ready to give birth at any time. If there is an accident, someone must call 120 or 119 for me. I didn't leave Meizhou because I was still waiting—not waiting for Feng, but waiting for Xiyan—I couldn't believe that she could really leave me like this without leaving any sympathy.She knew my delivery date, and agreed that regardless of whether it was a boy or a girl, she would be recognized as a godmother. Wouldn't she bless Qizai?

I went to the hospital for an examination and it was confirmed that the fetus was a boy. a son. The curse of being a prostitute for generations broke by itself, and the ghost of the eldest lady never came to haunt me again. It was Xi Yan, who broke the bloody spell with her blood. As early as when I transfused blood for her, the soul of grandma had already taken me through the Yun Mansion back then, allowing me to clearly see the scene of the eldest wife taking poison and committing suicide. tragedy. Grandma and the eldest wife have fought for a lifetime, and the resentment still persists after death.But when Xiyan blocked the sword for me, when a woman used her true friendship to wash away the evil on my body, the curse was lifted.

What is going to be born in my womb is a son who will never be a prostitute again, never repeat the fate that has been repeated to three generations of our grandparents and grandchildren. Never again. I finally felt lighter than ever. The stomach is getting bigger and bigger, and you need to be careful when going in and out, and you can't see your toes when you lower your head. But I don't worry, my mood has never been so calm as it is now, calmly waiting for a little life to come. money is not the problem.All I've ever lacked in my life are feelings.I said that I am a beggar of love, always eager to find someone to love.But now I don't force it anymore.

——If you can't find someone to love me, then at least you can have a child and let me love him. Because it was boring to wait for labor, I bought a new computer and started surfing the Internet. I carefully selected the best LCD monitor to prevent radiation. Once I encountered a strong wind on the Internet.He ashamedly asked me if I still hated him. I wanted to ignore it, but in the end I was not good enough, so I replied--the moonlight sprinkled on the pebbles, and I saw it as a river. He asked: Are you saying that I lied to you? I replied gently: You didn't lie to me, I lied to myself.

So far, this person has completely disappeared. He didn't ask about the child's news, and I didn't tell him. That child has nothing to do with him now. Happiness only stays in the seven days and seven nights when he came to Meizhou. One cannot step into the same river twice.No more complaining. After all, Gao Sheng found me and saw my swollen belly. He was stunned for a moment, sullenness flashed across his eyes, but he calmed down before the outbreak—I didn’t owe him anything.I am not his wife, and I have no obligation to guard my life for him.What's more, even if I am his wife, all he can do is drive me out of the house, can I still soak in a pig cage?And I had already come out automatically, so naturally he couldn't get annoyed.

It is said that people must humiliate themselves and others will humiliate them, so if you don't want to be humiliated, you'd better punish yourself first, and do the worst result in advance, so you can do what you want. Gao Sheng felt a little ashamed for being so self-disciplined. The next day, he asked the security guard to bring over a lot of daily necessities, and said, "After all, you have had a relationship with me. I can't see you too shabby." I didn't say no, why bother?I have even accepted him as a person, why is there a need to play up my spine now? He added: "Now can you tell me—why do you like Zhuangzi so much?"

I would like to ask: "If you know that the mistress you have been employed for a year is a graduate student who studies Zhuangzi, will you feel very honored?" But I didn't say that, why make him proud? Gao Sheng sighed: "Yun, you have a kind of temperament that fascinates me. Why do I always feel that there are many stories behind you, like a fallen noble who fell into prostitution by mistake?" noble?Going back three generations, this word may really have something to do with me.But Pan Liudai satirized the relationship between Eileen Chang and Li Hongzhang and said: "It's like drowning a chicken in the Pacific Ocean, so the people along the Huangpu River are drinking chicken soup." Mention your own bannerman ancestors.What's the point of talking about someone I've never met?

Gao Sheng fired some people almost every time he came back, and this time it was the same—he fired Miss Qin. It's not because she did anything wrong, on the contrary, it's because she is too proficient in doing it, and she is already at home, and she is about to make her hometown her hometown.If an employed person has more fun than the employer, how can the employer control her? Miss Qin didn't come to say goodbye to me when she left, there was no need for that - after leaving "Night Angel", we have nothing to do with each other, not even friends. My friend is only Lin Xiyan. We used to be heart-to-heart and connected by blood.But now, I don't know where she is!

It was sunny that afternoon. I sat on the wicker chair in the yard and thought about the past year.I miss Xiyan, I miss my other half. Does everyone have those moments of daze, wondering if there will be another self, wandering and surviving on the other side of time and space? This one I don't know what that I am doing, but I can feel the existence of another me. The so-called flower in the mirror, the moon in the water, who knows who is whose shadow? Zhuang Zhou dreamed of butterflies?Or did the butterfly dream of Zhuang Zhou? In early winter, it is not too cold, and the dry weather is rare in Meizhou.

The leaves of the tree have fallen, and there is no explanation for the sadness and helplessness of parting. Qin Jin is gone, Ganzai is gone, Arong is gone, Xiyan is gone, Ajian is gone, and even Miss Qin is gone... ... much like a tree? ! But new people will come, new leaves will grow.The club, originally a place where wind and waves gather, has no roots and is invisible. There was a shadow covering me, I sighed, raised my eyes, and saw a beautiful woman—Yunxiu!my mother! "Mom?" I almost jumped up in shock, but my embarrassed body didn't allow it. My mother restrained me: "Don't move around, be careful to dodge your waist."

"Mom, why are you here?" I still couldn't accept this fact, I only suspected that it was a dream. "A friend of yours called Lin Xiyan notified me." Mom unloaded her backpack, "Would you like me to sit in?" It was Xiyan again, it was Xiyan who found my mother, her idol back then, through the media. As the daughter of a public figure, I don't know whether to be lucky or sad—I want to find Xiyan, but there is nothing I can do; but when Xiyan finds my mother, it can be done within a few phone calls. I don't know if it's because I'm going to be a mother too, or because I finally heard Xiyan's name again. I don't feel disgusted with my mother's arrival, but a little bit of joy. For the first time in many years, our mother and daughter sat together warmly and peacefully drinking tea and chatting about Xiyan, Meizhou, and my child. My mother reconciled with my grandma for the sake of me. Now that I repeat her path, I want to get close to my mother again for the sake of my soon-to-be-born son. The sterling silver English tea set, the carved rattan table and chairs, and the warm sunlight look like a painting. "Xi Yan said that you are her idol." I sighed a little, "And she used to be my idol, Gushe Mountain is as pure as a god, representing integrity and reason." "Really?" Mom showed a reserved smile, a standard smile that has become accustomed to answering reporters' questions. I stared at my mother, still feeling far away, the distance was not formed in a day or two, and it is impossible to disappear in a day or two, but I know that we will always reconcile, because we are mother and daughter, with the same blood flowing in our bodies. "Which line is Xiyan doing now?" "Secretary. She called me with a polite and slick manner. She could tell that she would be promoted soon." I feel relieved.So, after all, Xiyan is still a saint.Her status is also suitable for being a white-collar worker in a large company, where soldiers will block her and cover her up. Compared with the ups and downs of nightclubs where you go into battle shirtless and fight to the death, the intrigues in the company are almost nothing, and Xi Yan can handle it completely. Her Achilles heel is just love.The nanny came out with tea and flattered everyone: "Mrs. Yun is so young, she doesn't look like she has such a big daughter at all." Mom smiled: "I'm Miss Yun." The nanny was taken aback, flattered her high heels, and hurriedly hid back in the room, not daring to shake her wit casually. Ms. Yun looked at me and asked condescendingly, "How are you doing?" "He sleeps without dreams, and feels no worries. His life is like floating, and his death will rest." I stroked my stomach with a smile, "Sleep well, eat well, don't you applaud?" "So you still remember." Mom said sarcastically, "I thought you only had feasting and karaoke in your life now." "Mom, let's stop fighting." I looked at my mother tenderly, "Anyway, no one will win. If we continue to fight, we will both lose." My mother was a little surprised when I suddenly said such mature and vicissitudes of life. After thinking about it for a while, she slowly said: "I know you have always hated me. Is it because of that professor?" "I don't want to mention him." I raised my voice slightly. "If you really grow up, don't rush to avoid any questions." Mom smiled triumphantly again, looking sharply at her daughter, her opponent, "You know why I did that back then—yes I want to remind you. You fell in love with a married man so infatuatedly! I know that you will not listen to anything I advise you, and you have become a habit of opposing me. I can only show you by destroying your idol. You clearly know what wrong love is." I was stunned.Is that right?The scene back then came back clearly before me. I was still drunk, leaning on the wall, and pushed open the door of my mother's half-closed room in a daze, and saw a pair of dogs and men on the bed having an affair.Then there were struggles, cries, madness, and even assassination—fortunately, without success. "You are my daughter. Can I not understand your mind? Can I not know that you like that professor? I just didn't expect your reaction to be so intense. I am not afraid that you hate me. I just hope that you can wake up, but unexpectedly Pushed you further away. You actually ran away from home, left without saying goodbye, went to clubs to be a singing girl, fucked with different married men, and got pregnant with another married man. You You think it's a kind of revenge against me, don't you? You think you can retaliate for the humiliation I once brought you by humiliating yourself twice, and punish me in this way, which makes my heart ache, doesn't it?" Yes, yes, all right.I covered my face in horror. It turned out that everything I thought was clearly exposed in front of my mother. To her, I was like a transparent person without any privacy, as if she had just given birth to me, naked, The umbilical cord has not been cut yet, and it is connected with her blood. All nutrition and air are supplied by her, and even thoughts are understood by her.And I thought I had gone through the vicissitudes of life and became another person. My mother's voice still rang in my ears: "I have been looking for you everywhere this year, but I can't look for you blatantly, because it will hurt you. Do you think I really like your professor? I am for you To remind you, and to fulfill you! When I slept with him, he would no longer dare to think of you, and you would see him clearly. In turn, he must help you, because he owes me! This year has not been in vain, I have money, he has power, we cooperated to find a gunman to continue the exam for you, just last month, you have passed the master's exam and officially obtained a diploma." "Passed...the master's degree exam?" I just felt unbelievable, and at the same time, I suddenly felt a dull pain in my stomach, and I couldn't think for a while. My mother smiled triumphantly: "Not only the education certificate, but if you need it, I can even ask someone to redo it for you and change your name and surname. As long as you leave Meizhou and 'Night Angel', no one will Knowing what you have done, you are still a clean person, a female graduate student with both talents and looks. You can apply for a job in any company in any city, or open a shop by yourself, or come to my mother’s company to help. Anyway, my Everything will be left to you in the future. As for your child, I will go through the adoption procedures and make him my child, your brother or sister. You can be with her, but you cannot declare that it was born by you. Then your life will be over, and now, your life has not started yet, you can arrange it as you like..." I couldn't finish my mother's words, because I couldn't listen anymore, and my stomach hurt violently, as if a thousand hands were tearing inside. "Ah, mom..." I yelled, "Call the ambulance, I'm going to have a baby..." Xiling Snow in Xi'an Xihang Garden on the eve of the Spring Festival in 2003