Chapter 6 three beats

Returning to "Snow Neon", Tianchi has a shock of heaven and earth. It’s still that place, it’s still those people and things, it’s still the same set of films divided into red, yellow, blue and black, but the computer has changed and the software has changed. It’s only been two years, but when she sat in front of the keyboard, she found that her hands She was so stiff that she even forgot the most basic Wubi typing and electronic scanning. Chen'er comforted: "It's okay, you will get familiar with it soon. Computers are just like swimming and riding a bicycle. Once you learn it, you will never forget it."

Xu Feng also said: "That's right, back then you were Chen'er's master, Liang Zhu and Xiao Su were also trained by you, remember?" But Tianchi herself is not optimistic. She is very clear that what she has lost in the past two years is not only the basic computer operation and common sense of plate making, but more importantly, her understanding and mastery of the market.It has been two years, and "Snow Neon" has not only failed to communicate with herself two years ago and two years later, but has even further distanced her from reality. Tianchi stood in front of the electricity distribution board, dumbfounded.

Liang Zhu and Xiao Su also looked at their former boss in silence, curious and emotional, not knowing what kind of attitude they should use to welcome her back.This was originally her company, and now she is their boss again, but is she still the shrewd and capable Ji Tianchi from before? The one with the most natural attitude was the new artist He Hao, who handsomely extended his hand to the legendary boss who "resurrected from the dead": "I'm here to introduce myself, He Hao, what year and month are you from, and what better way to add Okay, I suspect that my parents quarreled and reconciled with me, so I chose such a special and commemorative name. Ms. Jiu Yangji's name, it's the first time we meet, please take care of me."

He Hao's poor mouth made everyone laugh, covering up the subtle embarrassment.Xu Feng answered a phone call and reminded Chen'er: "Today we are going to the development zone, we have nothing to do, let's go now." Chen'er nodded, and began to assign the day's work: "Liang Zhu, keep an eye on the samples of the garment factory, and go to the factory today. It's best to skip the propaganda department and directly contact their factory manager; Xiao Su, the magazine's job Is it over? Call their editor-in-chief to look at the proofs, don’t forget to ask them to sign, and strive to release the film today; how good, is the car factory’s advertising design drawing out? This is a new client, and we can see if we can cooperate for a long time It's yours; do you have any questions? I'm going out for a while, if you have anything to discuss with Sister Ji."

Looking at all this, Tianchi felt both novel and familiar.She looked at Chen'er, as if seeing her former self.Once upon a time, she stood in Chen'er's position and spoke similar dialogues, but now, why doesn't she seem to understand what Chen'er is saying? Liang Zhu and Xiaosu were busy preparing today's business materials. Tianchi sat next to He Hao and watched him operate boredly, and asked casually, "How is the company's business? Chen'er is so busy every day?" How funny, he praised with an almost exaggerated enthusiasm: "No matter how busy Miss Lu is, she can still be flat. If you say Miss Lu, she is really a perfect woman, smart and beautiful, capable and kind, gorgeous and desolate, It is said that some women only come out once every five hundred years, so Ms. Lu is it." He said, he glanced at Tianchi, and smiled sheepishly, "Ms. Ji is too."

Tianchi laughed at himself: "Is it a vegetative person who died and came back to life? It's really rare to meet one in five hundred years." "Who said that? There are so many." He Hao said solemnly, seeing that Liang Zhu and Xiaosu's eyes were attracted, he explained in a serious manner, "On TV, there is always at least one wake-up caller in every twenty episodes of TV series." The vegetative people who came here." Everyone laughed.Tianchi also smiled, but the smile was far-fetched.She looked at the design sketch in front of He Hao, because the advertising language was marked in metal letters, and she said to herself: "Y100M50C30K10." She was talking about the combination value of the primary colors of fake gold.She was a little encouraged that she could remember the fake gold so clearly.However, He Hao said casually: "Now there is no need to be so troublesome. The metal characters can be completed with just one command."

Tianchi was taken aback for a moment, suddenly lost.The knowledge that was once hard to memorize is now insignificant. "It can be done with just one order." And she didn't understand what the new order was.How I wish I had an order in my mind that I could execute, and with a single click, I could catch up with the vicissitudes of the past two years. Unexpectedly, Tianchi stood up instinctively and did a surprising thing - she poured a glass of water for everyone and put it in front of her. He Hao said "thank you" indifferently, but Xiao Su looked embarrassed: "Why do you ask the manager to pour the water yourself?"

Tianchi was stunned for a moment, and then remembered that he was their manager.manager?What an incompetent and helpless manager!She smiled wryly, and suddenly felt that she had become extremely small at this moment, as small as a tiny mustard; at the same time, she seemed so stupid, so stupid that it was disgusting.In this busy space, her leisure seems so glaring, almost shameful.She occupies too much space, a space that does not belong to her, her existence is purely redundant.She left two years ago, why come back today? Tianchi stood up and walked out without saying a word. The sun is very good, in late spring, the early flowers fell all over the ground, the leaves on the trees have turned from green to dark, and the pedestrians are in a hurry, very busy.Occasionally, there are old people walking or children playing, looking at Tianchi with somewhat strange eyes, as if asking: Why is this young lady so idle?Out for a walk in broad daylight?

The feeling of excess became stronger and stronger, and Tianchi felt unbearable inferiority complex and helplessness.In the past, I fell asleep and didn't know it, but now I'm awake, but I'm still so useless, don't I feel guilty? Before she knew it, she found herself walking under a gable.The very long street wall is made of huge rocks piled together with cement seams. Green creeping plants covered the wall. She raised her head to identify the stop sign, which was "Kuiying Road".She seems to have a little impression that she passed by here when she and Chen'er were running business before, and she still vaguely remembers that Chen'er once joked: "The road names in this area are the strangest, Kuiying Road, Qingyun Street, Taoyuan Street, Xiaolong Street, all I wonder if living in this area makes it easier to become an immortal?"

How long ago was that?one century? At that time, she pointed to the wall and said to Chen'er: "When I saw it, I remembered the wall in Zhang Ailing's novel. I always felt that there was a very old story under every wall. I didn't know that behind this wall , what is it?" Chen'er said: "Israel has a Wailing Wall, which can wash away all grievances and resentments with tears. If one day we are sad, we can also cry to it." So now, can the wall she leans against be able to wash away the vicissitudes of the world, or can it achieve a love in the city? She pressed her hands against the cold stone wall, as if listening to the voice on the other side.

How many lost souls are locked in the stone wall?They were crying, moaning, asking for help, and singing, while Tianchi was at the other end of the wall, confused because of escape, but lonely after being free. "Tianchi." She called softly to the stone wall.There is always a feeling, as if there is another self locked in this stone wall, and only Ji Tianchi's half soul escaped. "Tianchi, how are you? Do you want to come out?" There seemed to be golden sand flying and snow fluttering in front of her eyes, and then she roughly saw those fragments of the past, like old movies that were not edited properly, fragmented, incomplete, incoherent, and there were many scratches and jumping frames. Biological father, mother, stepmother, adoptive father, and younger brother... younger brother!She once had a younger brother! She used to have a complete family, father, mother and younger brother, she loved her younger brother so much, the little man with big eyes and small mouth always called her softly "Sister, sister" in a crying voice. ". The word "sister" was shouted separately, clearly and loudly.Whenever she heard her younger brother calling him like this, she felt soft in her heart, no matter what he begged, she would agree to him.The relationship between their siblings is so good, but the relationship between their siblings is so shallow. When she was six years old and her younger brother was four years old, her parents divorced, her father took her away, and her younger brother left her for her mother. In those flakes of sand and snow, I can clearly see the little face of my younger brother squashed behind the glass window. He looked at himself, with endless tears in his eyes. Shouting "Sister, Sister"... It was the father who filed for divorce.He married another woman and told her to call that woman "Mom". When she refused, his father beat her severely.She endured, kept silent, and refused to shed tears. She prayed with her silence and forbearance, and prayed fervently-to grow up early, to be independent as soon as possible, and to be reunited with her mother and younger brother!However, this dream was shattered so early. Only two months later, my brother died of typhoid fever. The mother was so sad that she threw her body into the river and vowed to return with her son! Tianchi cried and passed out, since then he didn't know how to shed tears, and became more and more silent.The stepmother disliked her and called her "restraint", but also because she was greedy for property, so she adopted her to her rich and single old uncle as an adopted daughter, regardless of whether it was because of the wrong generation, she changed from mother and daughter to cousins. Maybe it was really her "ke". When she was thirteen years old, her adoptive father died again.Tianchi has since become an orphan through and through.The Wu family offered to adopt her, but Tianchi refused. She said: I want to adopt myself. She never wanted her fate to be changed again and again!She wants to be in control of herself! However, she fell in love with Wu Zhou.Loving someone so deeply, so obsessively, so selflessly, is doomed to hand over his fate, ups and downs with his emotions - she still hasn't been able to control herself. Tianchi's tears flowed down, and were dried by the wind before landing.In the wind, she couldn't see the future, couldn't see the complete self.Memories are still broken, incomplete.In his previous life, Ji Tianchi hid at the other end of the wall, and finally refused to come out completely. Half of Ji Tianchi in the world is not as good as the whole of Ji Tianchi in a dream. She is so far away from the world, separated by far more than just a stone wall. She lay on the wall and wept, softly calling out to herself in her previous life: Tianchi, Tianchi, are you at the other end of the wall?Why don't you answer me? "Tianchi." Tianchi was startled suddenly, she really heard the response. Oh no, it was just someone calling her. Tianchi turned around, but he was even more surprised, standing in front of him was the stranger who had erected a sculpture downstairs. "I'm Lu Yue." Lu Yue introduced himself like this, "Chen'er's elder brother." "Lu Yue?" Tianchi repeated hesitantly, and smiled shyly, "Hello." Lu Yue's heart ached violently.Is this Tianchi?Is this shy, weak, and helpless woman the shrewd and capable Tianchi back then?He used to complain that Tianchi was cold and hard, but now he understands what kind of tragedy it will be if Tianchi is no longer Tianchi! He looked at her, almost wanting to see through.For two whole years, he stood downstairs from her, looking at the window so far away. Today, he finally entered through the window and met her face to face. "Okay, can I have a cup of tea?" Lu Yue asked, and then repeated, "I'm Chen'er's elder brother." It's really helpless, Chen'er's elder brother, this identity is his only weight and protective color, to prove his harmlessness.However, deep down in his heart, he wished he could say, "I am your husband." Would he dare? "Lu Yue, what are you waiting for there every day? Are you waiting for me?" "Tianchi, why did you come back? Is it for me?" Some questions don't have to be answered, and some stories have no ending.In the coffee house, Ji Tianchi and Lu Yue sat across the table, their eyes met. In their silent eyes, they had already talked too much about the past. However, in fact, the cup of tea has bottomed out, but they haven't started talking yet.In Tianchi, he didn't know how to communicate, but in Lu Yue, he was worried, afraid of making too many mistakes.He didn't know how much Tianchi remembered about him, let alone what consequences his words would bring.In an instant, Cheng Zhifang's rigid and serious face appeared in front of his eyes, as if glaring.He shouted to him in his mind: "Old Cheng, get out. I'm talking to my wife, can you control me?" But in fact, he was sitting opposite Tianchi, but he actually had a guilty conscience of cheating, and was afraid . After all, it was Tianchi who spoke first: "Lu Yue, I have a feeling that I have known you for a long time. Have we met before this? I mean, before, you were just Chen'er's brother to me ?” Lu Yue's heart tightened for a while, she wanted to remember, she was about to remember!He suddenly felt very nervous. At this moment, he realized that he didn't want Tianchi to remember the past, he would rather she never remember, and become a new person from now on, let him and her start again, today is their new beginning, they never Meet today, then, he will date her, pursue her, and love her forever. Lu Yue smiled bitterly and sadly. If he could get Tianchi's love again, he was willing to stop being Lu Yue and become another person.In fact, he hated the former Lu Yue, the Lu Yue who failed Tianchi and misunderstood Tianchi and missed Tianchi.Today's Lu Yue is willing to give everything to win Tianchi's love, no matter the price or sacrifice. "You and I have known each other before." Lu Yue said, with difficulty, cautiously, but also very sincerely, "You are my sister's friend, but I treat you more than just my classmate's brother. I Since the first time I saw you, I have liked you very much. I have always wanted to be friends with you, whether it was before or now. I have been waiting for you to wake up for two years. Tianchi, I hope you can Promise me to be your friend, okay?" He looked at Tianchi, so nervous and pious, he waited for her answer, as if he was waiting for his own life.He is sincere, everything he says is true, his half of the truth. Tianchi's heart was sober and confused for a while, and between the sobriety and confusion was deeply moved.This was the first man she saw when she opened her eyes after waking up from a two-year sleep.That day, he was standing downstairs in her house, standing upright like a lamppost, his figure was slender and desolate, it was already spring, but his whole body exuded a sense of autumn wind.She saw him from the upstairs window, as if she saw her previous life, and there was pain and tugging in her heart, but it was just a stranger.She has always thought about taking the initiative to greet him, and now he is finally sitting in front of her face to face, no longer as far away as upstairs and downstairs, no longer as in a trance as in previous and present lives, he sits with her truly and kindly. On the opposite side of him, he asked her to agree to be his friend.so clear. She nodded heavily: "Of course. I am longing for friends. Except for Chen'er and Cheng Zhifang, I hardly know anyone. Lu Yue, I hope I am worthy of being your friend." "Tianchi..." Lu Yue almost knelt down to worship her.Does she know the importance of this promise to herself?She was literally announcing his pardon.Because of her tolerance, he will have a new life from now on. "Tianchi, we are friends now." He stretched out his hand and shook her tightly. At that moment of holding each other, Tianchi suddenly felt like an electric shock, as if a needle pierced into her heart in an instant, making her whole body immobilized and unable to move.At that moment, she concluded that she and Lu Yue did not just know each other. Tianchi lost again. When he returned to the company, Chen'er had already returned and was reading a magazine. When he saw Tianchi, he asked with concern: "Where did you go?" "Walk around casually." Tianchi replied with some guilt, and then asked, "Where's Xiaofeng?" "I received a call from the printing factory and went to see the proofing." Chen'er put down the magazine and clapped her hands, "This psychological test is very interesting, let's try it too." Everyone was feeling bored, so they all eagerly gathered around and said, "What game? How can I try it?" Chen'er looked at Tianchi and said, "Sister Ji, you come first and extend your hand." Tianchi stretched out his hand according to his words.Chen'er put his hand in hers, ordered Tianchi to hold it, then smiled, said a few casual words, and withdrew his hand.Then he turned to He Hao, still told him to stretch out his hand, shook his hand, and still pulled it out after saying a few gossips.He Hao just held it with a grin, Chen'er pulled it out forcefully, and turned to Liang Zhu and Xiao Su.After shaking everyone's hand like this, he nodded mysteriously and said, "I already know." Everyone was puzzled, and asked the answer: "What kind of test is it? Tell me the answer." Du He Hao asked: "Try again, okay?" Chen'er just smiled and shook her head, but couldn't help everyone pleading, and said: "The test result is: In this room, there are two people who treat me sincerely." Everyone was even more puzzled: "Two people? Which two?" Chen'er said, "One is naturally Sister Ji." Xiao Su asked, "What about the other one? Is it me?" Chen'er smiled but didn't answer.Xiao Su quit and said, "At least tell me what the content of the test is?" He Haozao took the magazine in his hand, read it, and was in a daze.Xiao Su snatched it over and said, "Read it for everyone." She had already read it out: "If that person really likes you, when you put your hand on his, he will hold it gently, And when you pull it out, he will instinctively keep it, and there is a kind of nostalgia from the bottom of his heart that makes him reluctant to let go." After reading, he chased Chen'er and asked who the other person was. Chen'er still didn't answer.He Hao stared into her eyes and said, "I already know the answer." Tianchi was in a daze, she remembered the meeting with Lu Yue in the cafe just now, and the unusual handshake—"If you really love someone, you will know the moment you hold his hand. "——When I held Lu Yue's hand, it was so familiar, so kind, so familiar, so warm and lingering.Could it be that is love? She and Lu Yue didn't just know each other.However, why, everyone around seems to be deliberately concealing it.What are they hiding?If she asked Chen'er herself, would she say it? At night, Chen'er and Tianchi were sleeping on the bed, Tianchi asked: "The other person holding your hand, how good is it?" Chen'er nodded thoughtfully, and said, "It's just a game." "If it was really just a game, you wouldn't be so nervous. If you're distracted, you obviously believe in the answer. He Hao likes you, doesn't he?" "I have no idea." "But I know." Tianchi smiled lightly, and answered decisively: "Yes." "yes?" "He once commented on you, saying that you are gorgeous and desolate. If you didn't love a woman deeply, you would never have thought of such a perfect metaphor. Gorgeous and desolate, it's thanks to him that you can think of it. It's so inexplicably contradictory, but it's true. appropriate." Chen'er also sighed, gorgeous and desolate, how could He Hao use these two words to describe her.He Hao knows her, understands her, and understands her. Tianchi further reminded her: "Then He Hao has superb technology and first-class creativity. He is obviously a leader in this industry. No matter which big company he applies for, he can stand alone. How can he stay at 'Xue Nihong' for so long? ?” "Why do you need to build up others' ambition and destroy your own prestige?" Chen'er argued, "Maybe he feels that he has more room to play in 'Xue Nihong', and he would rather be a chicken head than a cow's queen." Neon" as a small designer, what kind of "chicken head" is it? She stared at the ceiling and asked blankly: "Sister Ji, what should I do?" "What should I do?" Tianchi asked back, "Do you think this problem is serious?" "You think it doesn't matter?" "It doesn't matter at all. You are already married. He Hao is your subordinate, a little boy, and he will have no future with you. It is his business that he likes you, and it is also a very normal thing. As long as you are calm, he You will get your mind right soon. But now you care too much about this matter, so the problem is not with you, but with yourself." "You mean, I like him?" Tianchi smiled: "Do you like him or not, don't you know? Just ask me." "I'm asking you because I don't know." Chen'er said innocently, moving her body closer to Tianchi.As if back to the college days, the two little girls had just begun to fall in love and huddled together on the same bunk at night to talk about their thoughts. "I don't really want any stories to happen, but only when I feel that other men are in love with me, I will re-remember that I am a woman, and a young and attractive woman." women, not girls.The yellow beams are ripe, the beauties are old, they already have marriage, experience, and vicissitudes.Even though it is gorgeous, it is desolate after all. Chen'er sighed slightly, and said softly in a whisper: "When I was playing games at noon, he held my hand and wouldn't let go. I found that I would be tempted. When he asked to try again, I was tempted again. . Then he said he knew the answer, and my heart skipped a beat." "Three heartbeats, huh?" Tianchi teased, "It sounds like the title of a novel." "The heart of poverty is not exhausted, and the desire for lust has arisen again." Chen'er laughed at herself, and then sighed, "But I really want to fall in love." "I want to too." Unexpectedly, Tianchi said so. Chen'er was greatly surprised: "You want to fall in love? Isn't that easy? Cheng Zhifang is already there." "It's not Cheng Zhifang." Tianchi shook his head, "The love I imagined is not like that. It's like having a high fever, not so calm." "That's right," Chen'er smiled, "Cheng Zhifang is an antipyretic. No matter how high the temperature is, he is as calm as water. However, maybe such a person will be a perfect husband. There are two kinds of happy marriages in this world: The last time you really want to be nice to him, and he is willing to accept; the other is to meet a person who is determined to be nice to you, and you are willing to bear it. Unfortunately, the two can never be the same personal." "Chen'er, you seem to have matured a lot." Chen'er smiled wryly: "Help me, I'm already twenty-six, shouldn't I be more mature?" Tianchi was surprised: "You are twenty-six? How old am I?" "You? You are only eighteen years old, a young girl who just woke up from a dream." Chen'er looked at Tianchi almost lovingly. This time it was Tianchi's turn to laugh and cry, he shook his face and said: "I really have no reason to be naive anymore, is it true that at this age, I should get married once or twice?" Chen'er looked at her and thought pitifully, poor Tianchi, she didn't know that she was married and then divorced.All this will come to light in the future, so what will happen then? After a pause, Tianchi tentatively asked again: "Chen'er, have I ever been in love before? That's not counting Wu Zhou, it's just a secret love. Have I ever really been in love with someone, the kind of vows to each other?" Chen'er hesitated.She almost blurted out about her brother, but she held back when she got to the point of her mouth, how could she make it clear to Tianchi?She fell in love with her brother, got married, and divorced in a flash.If Tianchi asked her why, how would she answer? Fortunately, Tianchi didn't ask further, she gave up and sighed, resting her hands behind her head and looking at the ceiling, she quietly recited a poem: "Ten years of life and death are boundless, don't think about it, you will never forget it." Chen'er couldn't help but chuckled: "If you don't think about it, you won't forget it. You, you are thinking hard, and you can't remember clearly." Tianchi also laughed.She was a little disappointed, but after all, she didn't have the courage to say Lu Yue's name. The word "Lu Yue" is like a beautifully decorated time bomb to her. She really wants to get close to appreciate it, but is afraid of being hurt by it.She longed for Chen'er to take the initiative to say something to her, but she didn't dare to ask the question by herself, so she had to change the subject automatically: "Then do you still love Xu Feng?" "Xu Feng? We are already an old couple." Chen'er was helpless, "It's not that I don't love him, it's just that I lost the ability to love when I faced him." Tianchi was stunned for a moment, chewing on this sentence repeatedly: It's not that he doesn't love, it's just that he lost the ability to love when facing him.This sentence does not make sense, but when you think about it carefully, it seems to be taken out of your own heart, and it has a great weight.Isn't that exactly how I feel about Cheng Zhifang?It's not that I don't love him, and I can't say what's wrong with him. Lao Cheng is a steady and upright person, and he is devoted to himself.But when I was with him, I always felt nothing, or in other words, I didn't know how to move my heart, as if I had lost the ability to love, and became numb and hesitant. Chen'er sighed again and again, chatting about some trivial but real life past events: "...One day was his birthday, and it happened that I was not feeling well, so I stayed at home and didn't go to work. He was also at home with me, and his A friend called him to celebrate his birthday. He put on his suit excitedly and wanted to leave. I was a little bored, so I said, "leave your sick wife behind and go have fun?" He couldn't go on, Angrily, I sat down on the sofa and watched TV. I said you can go if you want to. I have nothing to do at home, so I don’t need you to accompany me. He just said that he couldn’t go, but his face was gloomy, and he stayed in the afternoon all afternoon. I lay there and didn't move or speak, just sighed. I was really in a panic. As for it, it was just a birthday party. I went as soon as I went, and I didn't go if I didn't. It seemed that he couldn’t solve it. I advised him to forget it and not to be unhappy here. He said he was not unhappy, and said that no matter what he did, he couldn’t please me anyway. I held back my anger and said that you don’t need to please me Huanxin, you can just go out and play if you want to go. He still said no, but he still sighed and said what to do with a bitter face. It’s not right to go or not to go. It’s really hard to be a human. I’m bored, what’s the big deal He said that you should go, don't stay at home and make me feel frustrated. He said that you will be unhappy anyway, I am wrong anyway, I will stay with you at home Isn’t it okay? I don’t need him to accompany me. I only feel pressure when he is with me. But he didn’t say to go or say no to go, just nestled there and sighed long and short... Alas, it really made me feel more angry than having a big fight, and I was so angry that I vomited blood." Chen'er finished speaking in one breath, let out a long breath, turned her face to the sky, as if she was talking to Tianchi, and also seemed to be talking to herself: "It is easy for such a person to live a lifetime, but it is also difficult to live a day. With him Together, I will not be unhappy, but it is difficult to have a happy day. I am dead, do you understand?" Tianchi did not answer.This is a question that does not need an answer.She just thought of Chen'er's words over and over again: When facing him, she lost the ability to love.This would be the case if he married Fang.When two people are together, a year is like a lifetime, and a lifetime is like a day, it is really like a chicken rib, it is a pity to discard it, but it is tasteless to eat. This night, Tianchi and Chen'er didn't talk to each other, but they both had their own concerns, tossing and turning, they didn't sleep peacefully all night.