Chapter 13 Thirteen, Fenghe Garden

We lived in Fenghe Garden. I don't know if Mrs. Wang will spread her knowledge to the neighbors after she wakes up.But probably no one will believe her?Poor Mrs. Wang... This incident was often used by Nian'er and I as a joke later on, but at the time it really scared us so much that we almost fainted - fortunately Wang Taifa was in front of us, so we didn't have time to say anything.Xiangru was very surprised, didn't understand why this gossip woman behaved so strangely, and wanted to help her call her family, but couldn't stand the urging and prodding of Nian'er and I, and was dragged into the elevator by Nian'er, leaving me behind. to deal with the mess.

When I handed Mrs. Wang to her husband, I ran away without daring to say a word.Nian'er is more timid than me, she already asked the driver to start before I got into the car, and drove half a street away, waiting for me at the intersection, lest Mrs. Wang would chase her out and catch ghosts with great fanfare. I don't know if it's a coincidence or fate, but that night was full of fog and fog, which made our panicky night run feel like fleeing, as if we were desperate. At this time, I really have to be thankful that Xiangru is just a ghost, and her thinking is far less clear and structured than when she was a human being. Although she is a little puzzled by all the unreasonable actions of me and Nian'er, she doesn't think there is anything wrong.

She still feels pain from time to time, and her existence is the biggest scar in life.But at last we no longer have to worry about Bai Rutong coming downstairs to stand guard, or curious neighbors eavesdropping at the door.Even if Xiangru wants to go out for a walk, there is no need to be afraid of someone bumping into her.It's just a slightly pale and beautiful girl, and most people in Gaoshang Community are not very curious. Everyone here has a story.Each of them is a legend in the city. It is not surprising that Xiangru lives in Fenghe Garden very safely. Those ghosts also moved with us and lived in Fengheyuan together.Walking in the garden, you will see them playing and singing among the pavilions, sometimes doing embroidery or arranging flowers, and once, I even saw a beautiful woman performing ancient chimes...

I can clearly see their golden hairpins and silver bracelets, their fluttering skirts, their swaying steps, and their every move and gesture are ready-made beauties. Sometimes I simply set up an easel and sketch for them in the garden, and they played chess patiently and slowly, waiting for me to complete the painting.They don't blame me for making a mistake or two, but they will persistently reappear in the same posture the next day, asking me to look more carefully. I gradually forgot that these were some ancient souls, and gradually got used to living in the upside-down of yin and yang, and even when I was with them face to face, I could tell the era they lived in with great interest through the style and printing and dyeing of their clothing.

It is said that the heyday of clothing was the Tang Dynasty. Empress Wu Zetian's horseback riding suit, Princess Anle's bird skirt, and Yang Yuhuan's imperial concubine's collar are all legendary.However, I think that the most fashionable clothing concept should be the Ming Dynasty. A kind of paper collar was popular among palace women in Ming Dynasty.Using Jiangxi Yushan paper as the material, the palace people do it themselves, carefully cut it, and make it into various styles of collars as they like, which can be worn with clothes and changed every day. It can be called the earliest "convenient collar".His behavior is quite similar to my career today.

What makes the courtiers of previous dynasties even more inferior is the taste in dressing of the concubines of the Ming Palace. The choice of color is the most pleasing to the taste-white clothes are popular. Whenever people talk about court costumes, people always think of phoenix coronets and xiapei, peach red and willow green, and the brighter the color, the better, it is festive.White clothes have always been regarded as synonymous with plain filial piety.However, the women in the Ming Palace have their own wisdom. They chose a white shirt with the color of sea and sky, which is as thin as ice cream, with a slight pinkish purple in the white, translucent, hazy like a dream, elegant and hidden, and it is faintly exposed when worn on the body. The red or light yellow tube top inside, I don’t know how tempting and ostentatious it is, it can be regarded as the most ecstasy dress in the past and present—what is "still holding a pipa half-hidden", what is "a branch of red apricot coming out of the wall", what is " When you are very pale, you will know that the flowers are more beautiful." The women of the Ming Dynasty have already understood the true meaning of dressing that they want to conceal.

Looking at the beautiful women in the garden like a cloud, wearing a toga with big sleeves, and white clothes, singing and dancing all the way, splitting the flowers and blowing the willows, how can I expect to be afraid?It's too late to be amazing. Watching the "Issey Miyake" fashion conference a few days ago, I saw that among the many silks and satins, paper clothes also appeared on the catwalk, asking sky-high prices.Reporters wrote articles praising the designer's creativity and bold ideas, which really made me laugh—if they could witness the paper collar show in the Ming Dynasty court like me, they would not be so surprised.The hometown of fundamental paper clothes is China, and "Issey Miyake" is nothing more than picking up the wisdom of others, but so many people follow suit.

If I were to make the clothes, I would choose "Huixuan" - soft and crepe, sprinkled with gold, smoked flowers, scarlet or rouge, layered on top of each other to make a shirt with big folds and big twill.The skirt should be made of Monken paper that looks rough on the surface but is actually very light and textured. It is rough and casual, and the simpler the style, the better.The only rule is asymmetry—front to back, left to right.Or a paper cap will be added, bronze paper is very good, of course there must be a streamer.Of course, there must be my own paintings, which must be Chinese paintings, traditional ink and wash landscapes.When I turned around, the world moved with me.

However, wearing such clothes, you can’t get in the rain, you can’t squeeze the bus, you can’t avoid the cold, and you can’t get too hot—because you can’t sweat, and you have to be careful even in strong winds, otherwise you will be exposed at any time; you can’t sit, because Afraid of wrinkling; also unable to run, afraid of being torn. Clothes like that may only appear on the catwalk, or in the deep palace, they belong to the concubines who only want to invite favors and fight beauty every day. I think I was born in the wrong age. If we go back thousands of years, maybe the business of "Xiang Yun Sha" will be better.Modern people not only have extremely low taste, but also because of the stressful life, they can no longer simply appreciate the elegance and beauty of clothes.

The days passed smoothly.Our lives, on the surface, seem to have returned to what they were before—loving each other without waves.We chatted, danced, told stories, drank cocktails, and sometimes took a short walk arm in arm by a lotus pond without lotuses... But we don't talk about love. Only we know that the old days will never go back.Hidden under the calm surface of the lake are stormy waves, sleeping volcanoes and tsunamis. I miss the carefree nights of the old days, when a few aisle lights were lit, and three women talked about love.At that time, Xiangru's version was the most perfect and standard - she regarded love as her belief, and she was determined to be Bai Rutong's little wife, wash her hands and make soup for him, spend the spring night with warm words, and then welcome the morning together sun……

Now, Xiangru has forgotten who Bai Rutong is.Maybe I didn't really forget it, I just sealed him in the deepest part of my heart. Nian'er said that if Xiangru remembered the love affairs in her previous life, she would be overwhelmed with pain, her heart would be broken, and she would die again. What was once my favorite has suddenly become the scariest.The three characters of Bai Rutong are equal to the messenger of hell. Nian'er herself has a pain that cannot be touched, and that is Feng Yuting.None of the men she fell in love with in the past slipped through the net, and she was easy to catch.But this time, it was she who raised the white flag to strike. She was afraid of failure because she knew that if she lost, she would be hurt more than Feng Yuting. Later, Feng Yuting went to the troupe to look for her, but Nian'er dismissed her with sarcasm. Nian'er is such a woman - when she treats you warmly, she may not really like you, but just a means of communication, making you feel alienated; but when she treats you coldly, she may be coquettish and reserved, from the bottom of her heart Erli thinks that you are dear, and I want to treat you well, and I also want you to treat her well. I was wondering if I should help Feng Yuting, but I couldn't find a way. Could I expose Nian'er's underground identity and tell Feng Yuting that Nian'er, a beautiful ballet dancer, is actually a stripper?Wouldn't that be an unscrupulous reporter reporting Xiangru's tragedy? However, this knot cannot be untied, Nian'er refuses to get close to Feng Yuting no matter what.She was the kind of person who would rather never have it in order to avoid the pain of loss. Besides, I don't know how to satisfy Nian'er's inflated material desires with the income of a policeman?For Nian'er, diamonds and roses play an equally important role in her love life, and both are indispensable.If they lose their balance, they will be doomed to tragedy even if they have a chance to start. I can only watch helplessly as the two of them love each other deeply, but they get farther and farther apart. The farthest is always the one who loves the most. After finishing the first batch of clothes, Nian'er invited her colleagues to act as models for me, wearing those beautiful silks for me to take pictures. I asked the actors to dress up in the same way and pose in the same poses as I saw in the illusion, but unfortunately, I couldn't require them to have the same temperament and expression. Those ancient women all had an indescribable radiance of loneliness on their faces—yes, glamorous, but lonely. Ancient Chinese myths and legends seem to have a sense of loneliness. Whether it is the male version of Kuafu Chasing the Sun or the female version of Chang'e Flying to the Moon, they are all equally desolate and lonely, lonely to the end of time. This is true for a god who does not eat fireworks in the world, let alone a mortal woman who is reduced to the world of mortals? I don't know if I'm sensitive or it's true, Nian'er's description is getting closer and closer to the woman I saw in the mirror.Especially when she dances, she seems to be far away from the real world, and floats in her own sky, in a space beyond the darkness of life and death. Looking out of her eyes, she always seems to be in deep thought, seeing through life and death, and there is an indescribable shocking power.Moreover, when she plays different protagonists, she will have different demeanor, just like possessed. After the photos were developed, I presented them to Xiangru like a treasure—after all, this was the only purpose of her “coming back” and her reason for “surviving”. Xiangru was typing, her long hair was tied back, her white shirt was slightly wrinkled, and she looked homely, making it difficult to compare her with a dead soul.Seeing those photos, she didn't look excited, she only looked more dazed than before, and said thoughtfully: "Although Yu Xuanji is romantic, it shouldn't be like this. Since she chose to be a Taoist nun, even if she doesn't abide by the rules, she can't There will be something fairy-like and out of the ordinary. She will probably be unhappy when she sees you taking her like this..." I was a little worried about whether I was reckless. Listening to Xiangru's words, I clearly confused ancient times with reality. "Who is Feng Yuting?" Xiangru put down the photo and suddenly asked me, "This name sounds familiar." I was startled, did Xiangru remember it?Feng Yuting was the policeman who handled her case. If she thought of Feng Yuting, wouldn't she also think of the whole incident, Bai Rutong's betrayal, and even her jumping off a building?So…… Cold sweat broke out on my back, like ants were crawling. I watched Xiangru's reaction nervously, and asked slowly, "What Feng Yuting? Who did you hear it from?" "Nian'er. She was talking in her sleep all night last night, calling Feng Yuting's name all the time." I see.I breathed a sigh of relief, pretending to be relaxed and said with a smile: "Oh, you heard it wrong. Fengyuting is a place, not a person's name. That place is Nian'er's hometown, she is homesick." "Is that so?" Xiangru frowned, as if she didn't believe it, but she couldn't say it, she was still thinking hard. I was afraid that she would remember something, so I hurriedly interrupted: "It's rare that I come back early today, why don't we go for a walk in the garden." The place like the lotus pond is the easiest place to make people feel the change of seasons—it is the situation that Lin Daiyu praised "leave the lotus to listen to the rain". It's already this deep. When the wind blows over the lotus pond, there will be a slight green mist.Xiangru was wearing white clothes, floating like a fairy, walking in the withered autumn.In the cold green as frost, she was dressed in white, as blurred as a cloud. I look at her through the crooked railing, through a pool of lotus water, through life and death, dream and waking, Xiangru, she is so beautiful and far away, unattainable. At this time, I realized more clearly than ever that she was dead, and it was only her ghost that lingered.This ghost will leave me at any time. At that time, I will lose her again, really lose her, and I will not even keep my soul. She stopped, put her hands on the railing, and bent slightly. It was just a back view, already carrying unspeakable sadness and pain.I caught up a few steps to support her, and asked worriedly, "Xiangru, how are you?" Xiangru looked paler and weaker than before, she looked at the pond full of lotus and sighed: "Hongyan, I don't have much time." My heart was anxious and painful, and I burst into tears: "Why do you say that? We will be together forever, we still have a long way to go, and we have many good days to live." She held my hand, and said in a sad and soft voice, "Hongyan, I don't know why, these days, I have always been very sad, unspeakably sad. I have a feeling that my time seems to be stolen , Every day is a fluke. And now, the end is coming, I will leave soon, and I will never see you or Nian'er again, but I am not willing to part with you..." I felt so sad, hugged Xiangru and cried: "Don't say that, we will never be separated, we will never be separated. Xiangru, I like living with you so much, do you remember what we said before? We To love each other, only because there are you and me in this world to be happy and exist..." "We, want, each other, to love each other?" Xiangru murmured, her eyes full of thoughts. I suddenly realized that when I said these words, it was because Xiangru was hit by both the newspaper and Bai Rutong, and I said this to comfort her.Now that the old story is being brought up again, isn't it intended to remind her of the whole story of that tragedy? No, she can't let her think about it any more, she can't remind her of that nightmare.I randomly pointed at the lotus leaves in the pond, and hurriedly searched for a topic: "Xiangru, look how big this lotus pond is. Unfortunately, we moved here late, so we didn't have time to catch up with the lotus. Next summer, we will have lotus to see." , At that time, the pond was full of red and white lotuses, it must be very beautiful." As I said that, I couldn't help feeling sad.The lotus will bloom next year, alas, I don’t know if Xiangru will be here or not at this time next year, will we still have the chance to see the lotus side by side? But Xiangru had no doubts at all, she looked under the bridge with a smile, and she turned her attention to the lotus, and said softly: "In the past, Nezha returned the father by removing the bones, and cut the flesh to repay the mother. A lonely soul wandered around, Escaped into the deep mountains. Master Taiyi wrapped his soul in the lotus. For three days and nights, Nezha woke up in the stamen of the lotus. The lotus was the clothes and the lotus leaves were the clothes. He was reborn. Therefore, in the myths and legends, the lotus, It has the ability to bring the dead back to life." Rebirth?Resurrection?My heart was pounding, and I couldn't help but put my hands together and prayed devoutly to the lotus leaves in the pond: "Lotus, oh lotus, if you really have this extraordinary ability, please bless Xiangru's soul, let her live forever under your protection, and let me Don't lose her company, please, okay?" Xiangru looked at me strangely and asked, "Hongyan, what are you doing? You're mumbling something." "I, I'm recalling our middle school textbook, "Ai Lian Shuo"." I laughed, and began to recite, "The lotus emerges from the mud but is not stained, and the clean ripples are not demonic. Watch from a distance but don't play with it..." "I really miss the days when I was in school. I was carefree and only thought about one thing: reading. Life is so planned and purposeful. It won't be like it is now. I always feel at a loss that good times don't last long." Xiangru fell into another She was inexplicably sad, but fortunately she put it aside quickly, and said with a smile, "When I was writing papers in middle school, I still remember that I had an article "On Purity", which divided purity into three realms. The teacher gave me Full marks. When the model essay was posted on the school bulletin board, it gave me a lot of limelight." "Three realms of purity?" "Yes, I divide purity into three types. The first type is Yangchun Baixue - it falls from the sky and is spotless, but it cannot withstand any setbacks and stains. If you don't pay attention to it, your efforts will be wasted, and it will turn into sewage if you step on it. This kind of purity, to put it bluntly, is actually a kind of simple paleness, which is caused by ignorance and innocence, and is the most inaccurate. The second type is the autumn sky and the bright moon—the one who is independent from the world, cleans himself, shines on the world for thousands of years and is still as bright as before. But this kind of purity is maintained by deliberate isolation from the world. It is better to say that it is noble than pure, and it is conditional and inaccurate. I hate the world's cleanliness', once such purity is destroyed, it will fail more than anyone else..." At this point, she stopped, and the thoughtful look that worried me appeared on her face again.I know she sent it out of feeling, and it's clearly her own words.I interrupted her thinking, and asked with a smile, "What about the third kind? Let's go on, what is the third kind of purity?" "The third kind of purity is the lotus in Limbo. As you recited just now, 'Out of the mud but not stained, in the clear ripples but not demon'. It's not that the lotus has never seen what is dirty, nor does it know what it is She is called romantic, but she is not willing to be reduced to prostitution. She was born proudly after she really entered the world. This kind of purity is the one who has experienced big waves and can distinguish right from wrong. It is true purity, a kind of wisdom, and the essence of life. Zen enlightenment is also the highest state of purity." "That's why you like writing prostitutes the most?" I was deeply moved by Xiangru's theory of purity, and sighed, "That's why you said that your favorite woman is Xue Tao. She was a geisha, and after being famous in Bashu, she lived in seclusion in Huanhuaxi, dressed in plain clothes, and died in peace. She really has the noble sentiments of being born after entering the world, right?" "Yes. I appreciate Xue Tao's easy-going character and his virtue of being neither humble nor overbearing. It is an ancient custom that every lunar month, from the first day to the thirtieth day, ladies go to the water's edge to wash clothes and drink wine to avoid bad luck. Li Shangyin has a poem 'Zhuo Jintao Huashui, Necklace Du Ruozhou' describes this grand occasion. I think Xue Tao used to have the habit of wearing skirts when he was young, but later he joined a prostitute and was no longer a lady. Paper——the rice paper is lightly brushed on the water surface, and the fragrance and freshness of the peach blossoms become the famous "pine flower paper". In fact, this is a kind of accidental gain, and only those who have experienced real hardships and stand up again People are qualified to say that they are successful and strong, otherwise, everything is just luck.” well said.But Xiangru herself was not able to withstand the great tribulation in her life, she chose to escape, she chose to die, she chose to fall like a falling flower... Tears flowed down, until this moment, I didn't really understand the deep meaning of Xiangru's insistence on wearing white clothes. I have never met a second woman who is more pure and pure than her in my life. She is an eternal wound in my heart and is unforgettable. When Nian'er came back in the evening, I showed her the photos and told her about Xiangru's reaction in the afternoon. She was really displeased: "You shouldn't let Xiangru see the photos. These things are too real and they will stimulate her. A long time ago, people called photography a technique of collecting souls, which shows that ghosts are afraid of photography. Everything can remind her of the truth and the truth." Everything that is different from the phantasy should be kept away from her, so as not to wake her up with a shock." I regretted so much that I lowered my head and said nothing. Nian'er said: "Hongyan, do you feel that Xiangru seems to be a little different recently, she seems to remember something." "Yes, today at the lotus pond, she told me that her time is running out. I am deeply worried, does this mean that Xiangru is leaving us?" "I don't know. Maybe, people have a lifespan, and ghosts have a time limit. One more thing..." Nian'er hesitated, "Hong Yan, how do you feel recently?" "Normal, why?" "You don't feel it yourself, but I noticed that your complexion is getting worse and worse. You often turn blue on your face, and your emotions are too depressed." "Maybe it's lack of sleep." I knew I was kidding myself.I've been dealing with those ghosts, how can I not turn blue? Nian'er sighed, and finally said: "There is one thing that I have been worried about, but I just heard about it, but I haven't verified it. Now it seems that it is true - my grandmother said that living with ghosts, even if they It is good intentions, and after all, yin and yang go different ways, one ebbs and another. Hongyan, your and my yang energy will become weaker and weaker because of this, and I can still use dance to protect myself, but you..." "Nian'er, I know what you're worried about. But I've thought about it, if this is the price I have to pay for being with Xiangru, I'm willing." "Beautiful..." Nian'er hugged me tightly, both felt as if they had thousands of words to say, and also felt that there was no need to say all the words, just a look, we have already connected with each other, and we understand what the other person is thinking.After Xiangru's "death", the friendship between the three of us only became deeper and closer. I comforted Nian'er and said, "Take one step at a time, let's live one day at a time. In short, I only think that the time we get together every day is picked up, and I don't think about too many things. You don't have to worry about me, you should be careful Take care of Xiangru. One more thing, what touched her today is not only those photos, but also a name—she asked me who is Feng Yuting?" "Feng Yuting?" Nian'er's face turned red suddenly, but tears glistened in her eyes.She hesitated for a moment, then suddenly said out of the question, "Today is my last show in Burka - I have resigned from that part-time job." I was shocked and couldn't help feeling a lot.Although she didn't explain it, I also understood the implication - she resigned from this "part-time job" for Feng Yuting, how can a dancing girl match a policeman?Even though she didn't want to accept Feng Yuting's love, she still subconsciously let herself get closer to him. "So you'd like to start with him?" "Never." Nian'er jumped up as if being stung, "What does my choice have to do with him?" The more overreacted it was, the more it showed how much her words were against her will, and how profound the meaning of the words Feng Yuting was to her.Nian'er is so contradictory, so afraid of losing, so afraid that she doesn't even dare to admit the seriousness of this love to herself, this is beyond my expectation.I knew that Nian'er fell in love with Feng Yuting, but I never thought that Nian'er, who had experienced many battles, would fall in love so deeply and so bitterly. "Some things, if you don't face them personally, you will never know the answer." I gently reminded Nian'er, "Even if it's a negative number, it's better than nothing." "Do you believe this sentence yourself?" Nian'er asked me back. "I don't know how to say it, but Xiangru told us about "Das Kapital" before. She said that love, like science, requires trust and courage. God said: Blessed are those who believe without seeing. I think love the same." "So do you believe in love?" Nian'er asked me again. I hesitated for a while, and then answered her: "I think there is definitely true love in this world. As long as you believe in it, you will definitely meet it, but you may not get it." "Hongyan, you are so kind and cute." Nian'er suddenly smiled sadly, "Among the three of us, only you still believe in love, and believe that as long as you have courage, you will have a chance. But why don't you try Ask that Mr. Yu, see if he is willing to abandon his wife and son to love you?"