Chapter 7 7. Resurrection Night

I can't believe that Xiangru left me just like that.I can still remember her laughter, her posture so clearly, as if I can see her when I turn around, and touch her when I reach out, but why did she disappear from this world? Death is like a lamp going out, Xiangru, has the little light she gave me been extinguished since then? She once said that love, like science and religion, is a kind of belief.She recites Das Kapital to us: "At the entrance of science, as at the entrance of hell, such a demand must be made—here all hesitation must be rooted out; here all cowardice is of no use." She said, "This It is called truth, which is universal. Love requires unreserved trust and courage."

However, her love deceived her, she lost her faith, and thus lost the courage to live—at the entrance of science, just like at the entrance of hell—Xiangru’s love is like hell. I went to the living room to drink water at night, and vaguely heard the sound of typing. Half asleep, half awake, I instinctively turned and opened the door next door and said, "Xiangru, are you staying up late again?" Asked a word, Fang remembered that people had gone to the empty building, and couldn't help but feel heartbroken. The room was empty, even with the lights on, it still looked gloomy. There was nothing missing in the wardrobe, tables and chairs, but if the incense was not there, it would be an empty room.I opened Xiangru's closet and saw that it was full of long and short white clothes. I have never seen a woman who is more obsessed with white than Xiangru.

Such a pure and pure woman. I buried my head in Xiangru's clothes and wept bitterly. White clothes are not fragrant cloud gauze, they can withstand rubbing and washing, but they cannot withstand the slightest pollution. Xiangru's breath is still gentle in the clothes room. Her parents once proposed to take these clothes away. I begged hard to keep them, and I couldn't bear it.I always feel that Xiangru will come back anytime, and I'm afraid that when she comes back, she won't be able to find her clothes. Xiangru's mother is a middle school teacher, with short hair and delicate eyebrows, a bit like a crescent moon, with the corners of her mouth curved upwards, she looks very happy, but she has a sad face.She probably cried too much along the way, but when she came to the mourning hall, she didn't know how to cry. She just looked at the sleeping daughter in the coffin, and she was very confused: she was usually neat, how could she choose such a way to die?It seems that the daughter's suicide itself is actually normal, and the most incomprehensible thing is the way she committed suicide.

Xiangru's father was serious and extremely silent, except for holding his wife's arm tightly from the beginning to the end, he hardly spoke.But when his wife suspected that his daughter was disheveled after death, he suddenly made a strange movement—quickly took off the black suit jacket on his body, and covered her face with her daughter.His movements were very light, as if her daughter was not dead, but just sleeping, and he was afraid of disturbing her. Their cries did not burst out until Xiangru's hearse was pushed towards the cremator... After so many days, Xiangru's parents could not accept the fact that their daughter was dead.The sad old couple, the white-haired man and the black-haired man, aged rapidly at a speed that could be seen with the eyes in just a few days.Bai Rutong came with them. He ran forward and backward diligently, but the angry parents persistently refused to talk to him, so the responsibility of taking care of them fell on me and Nian'er.

Xiangru's mother fell ill in the hotel, she supported her daughter's grave and sprinkled soil with her own hands before leaving.Nian'er and I have repeatedly promised that we will follow Qiqi's rules to burn incense like paper and never make her lonely. When I closed the door, I found that Xiangru's laptop on the table was turned on, but the screen was blank, so I didn't notice the little red light when I entered the door.I casually hit the Enter key to restore it to work, only to find that the page was an unfinished short draft - "A Chinese Girl's Departed Soul".

Xiangru, are you implying something?Has the computer not been turned off since Xiangru jumped off the building, or did Nian'er come in and turn it on? Qiannv Lihun, Zhang Qiannv's soul can exist without her body, even though her body is bedridden, her soul is still alive and well.Xiangru, can you do the same? Xiangru, Xiangru, I miss you so much.Xiangru, come back, if your soul can escape from the body to meet me, I will welcome you with open arms, I will not be afraid, we will be together again and love each other well. Xiangru, come back! On the autumn mountain, there is another new grave.

The one buried under the tombstone, embedded in the black-edged photo frame, is it Xiangru? I looked at her sharp-edged face, black and white eyes, and a smile with sharp lips and teeth, and I wanted to cry without tears.Xiangru, Xiangru, I cannot forgive you for failing me like this.What we promised was to stick together and try to love each other and try to survive without men.But why did you abandon me?Why can't you be content with just loving me and being happy?At least, I won't make you sad. You said that you don't like to write about strong women, because the real strong and strong should be able to bend and stretch.But you can't do it yourself.

When the ordeal came, you actually chose to jump down from the 18th floor with your back behind my back, and ended your short life like a spring flower with such a staunch gesture, a flower that withered after frost. Xiangru, do you have the heart to bear me?You caused me to carry the confession of my whole life, you caused me to lose my best friend, you caused me to never believe in love—you told me what the purest version of love should be, and now you use the most pure love Brutal way to overthrow it.Xiangru, how can you ask me to forgive you? I burned all the pure white gauze materials stored in the shop to her in piles, and the ashes were blown by the wind and scattered in all directions.They were all woven by silkworm cocoons that hadn't waited for the startling sting, and now they finally burned themselves in flames, turned into butterflies and flew away.

The clothes made of these yarns are probably fragrant enough to be worn underground for a lifetime, until she is reincarnated.I can't forget that when Xiangru left, she was wearing the silk nightgown I gave her. She liked that dress so much that she would take it with her until she died——Xiangru, you took away not only It's my clothes, and my heart.The corner of my heart that belongs to friendship is forever smashed into dust, and I can't clean it up. In this world, we have no background, no wealth, no beliefs, no roots of our own, we only have each other, how can you bear to tear us apart?

Nian'er played music in front of the grave and began to dance.The way she expresses her feelings has always been dancing, and she will use dance to vent her emotions when she is happiest and when she is saddest. Today is the seventh day since Xiangru jumped off the building. In the past seven days, my tears have hardly dried up, but Nian'er has never shed a tear from the beginning to the end. Her eyes seemed to be dry, and it was necessary to moisten the eyeballs with drops of medicine.But that's it, every day as long as she has time, she will dance - from the day Xiangru passed away, Nian'er has almost never stopped dancing.

Perhaps only dancing can relieve the pain in her heart. Just like at this moment, she is wearing a silk robe, just like Xiangru did before she died, with bare feet, humming, dancing slowly among the weeds and gravel, her feet were cut by stones and bleeding Do whatever it takes.I think her heart must also be bleeding and aching, so that she can no longer take into account the physical injury. I recognize that song and that dance—"Giselle", a story about the soul.The girl Giselle met the prince in her heart on the grassland, they fell in love at first sight and danced together.However, at the happiest moment, the prince's fiancée arrived. She was a princess from another country, and she was ordered to bring her husband back to the palace to get married.Seeing the beauty and nobility of the princess, Giselle knew that her infatuation would eventually come to naught, her heart was broken, and she died on the ground, becoming another new ghost who died for her love.She dances every night, waiting for the resurrection... Those white clothes that have been burned without wearing them are also young dead souls. They fly in the mountains, hang on the top of the forest, and fall in the grass, like unwilling ghosts looking for a home.However, they couldn't find it after searching and searching. The wind blows them up and down. They are tired and tired, but they still want to fly, to fly... Nian'er's dance has changed the melody, and she sang an ancient Chinese lament: "What is the way to die? The body is on the same mountain. Relatives or remaining sorrows, others have already sung..." "Nian'er." I called her name.We hugged and wept bitterly. "Nian'er, it's just you and me left." "No, there is still Xiangru." Nian'er said firmly, "Dancing can summon souls, and Xiangru's heroic spirit is not far away, she must be able to hear our call, she must be nearby, right beside us, she is looking at us , she said she liked my dancing." Nian'er finally shed tears, and the crystal clear teardrops rolled down the silk all the way, straight into the underworld. At this moment, I knew that Xiangru's death had hit Nian'er far harder than I did—I was so sad that I didn't want to believe it, but Nian'er didn't want to believe it at all.It turned out that she danced not only because she was sad, but also because she firmly believed that doing so could call back Xiangru's soul—she refused to face the fact that Xiangru was dead, and was still persistently waiting for her to come back. Perhaps in this world, only Xiangru is the person who understands Nian'er best and is also the person Nian'er respects the most.Xiangru, she has always been the spiritual strength of the three of us, and now that she is leaving like this, what we have lost is not just a good friend? In fact, it’s not just Nian’er, sometimes I suddenly feel that Xiangru is still alive at a certain moment. When I wake up in the middle of the night, don’t I often hear the crisp typing sound from the room next door to Xiangru? "Today is Xiangru's first seven days. My grandma said that if you keep dancing to summon the soul of your dead relatives, then on the seventh day, she will come back and reunite with us." Nian'er sobbed, tears streaming down her face, But in those tears, there was strange determination, as if her words were not meant for me, but for all things in the world to hear, so that all ghosts and gods would respect her wish. There is a wind passing through the forest of tombstones, crying like complaining.At that moment, I sincerely wanted to believe in Nian'er, in what she said about reincarnation, in the existence of ghosts, and in the belief that our love would move the world and bring Xiangru back. On the way down the mountain, we met Bai Rutong—the person I didn't want to see after Zi Xiangru's death.In the past seven days, I have consciously avoided meeting him face to face, thinking that he had returned to his hometown with Xiangru's parents, but unexpectedly we met here. Seeing us, he instinctively quickened his pace, while I sidestepped in disgust. Nian'er was stunned for a moment, and then burst out, rushed forward and grabbed Bai Rutong's skirt and roared, "What are you doing here? How dare you see her? You forced Xiangru to death, you give me back Xiangru, you Give her back to us!" Bai Rutong remained silent, letting Nian'er tear him apart, as if he was dead.It hasn't been long since the three of us greeted him at the hotel together, right?But he looked as if he had aged ten years, and his whole body had become decadent, like a puppet on a string that had lost its soul.Perhaps after being sad, he will recover one day, fall in love again, get married and have children and live the rest of his life peacefully, but he will never forget Xiangru, and he will never find someone more beautiful and pure than Xiangru. Love his woman more.Xiangru will become his eternal curse and will never be reborn. Is Xiangru using such a decisive method to take revenge on the person she loved wrongly? If so, then her death is too worthless—even if Bai Rutong will spend his whole life commemorating her, even if she receives his lifelong confession and condolences, the love of a person who is not worth it is not worth Xiangru's death. Life for a day! I stopped Nian'er: "Forget it, even if you kill him, Xiangru will never come back." Nian'er let go of her hand, suddenly howled like a wounded little animal, and ran down the mountain.I had no choice but to run along the way, and after running a long way, I turned around and saw Bai Rutong still standing there blankly.The autumn wind was bleak, blowing his clothes. At this time, he might feel worse than death. I believe he really loves Xiangru, but his love is too immature and irresponsible.When Xiangru encountered the worst blow in his life, instead of standing by her side to support her and comfort her, he stood opposite her, accusing, neglecting and complaining, making her despair. I can't imagine the pain in Xiangru's heart when she jumped down from the eighteenth floor wearing my hand-painted silk robe.At the twenty-fourth birthday party celebrated in advance for her, we sincerely thought that all the catastrophes were over, that the rain would clear and the bad luck would be far away, and that good people would eventually be rewarded with good things. The difficult problem, the devastating blow, came from the person Xiangru loved the most—if she didn't really love him, how could she die for such a cowardly person? Bai Rutong, he was the last straw on the camel's back, it was he who gave Xiangru the real fatal blow! Everyone has a dead spot, everyone has a bottom line, and Xiangru's bottom line is love. At the foot of the mountain, I caught up with Nian'er. But she wasn't alone, she was talking to a man with her back turned to me, waving her arms, fiercely. The man was tall and straight, his facial features were like knives and axes, and there was a compelling heroism between his brows.I've never seen him, but it's not hard to guess who he is from his uniform—it's Feng Yuting, the little policeman who handled Xiangru's case, and owes Xiangru another kind murderer who forced Xiangru to death! Similarly, he also guessed my identity, and took the initiative to extend his hand to say hello: "Beauty? I'm Feng Yuting." I looked at him and didn't answer or accept the hand. His hand just stopped in mid-air, but he stubbornly refused to take it back. "The two hooligans have been caught." He said, "I'll tell Su Xiangru about this in person, and hope she can rest in peace." "Fart!" Nian'er was so angry that she couldn't choose what to say, and cursed, "Is it useful to catch them? Xiangru is dead, can you bring her back to life? You policemen, just sell news to tabloid reporters if you have nothing to do. Kill the innocent. Are you the police or an accomplice? You are worse than those two rapists! If Xiangru didn't report the crime, no matter how sad she is, at least she won't die! One day she will forget about it, she She will live a good life, as if nothing happened. But she believes that you will avenge the people, she believes that good will be rewarded with good, and evil will be rewarded with evil, she will report the crime, she will recognize people, and she will cooperate with you. Okay, you But you betrayed her, let her be exposed, and forced her to jump off the building, just to prove that you handled the case quickly, regardless of the life and death of the client! Now you are showing off your merits and boasting of your ability to catch the thief. But so what if you catch the murderer? Already dead! You are the real culprits who forced her to death!" Feng Yuting raised his head abruptly, his eyes were so deep, terribly deep, as deep as a bottomless well, he couldn't bear to shout: "It's not me!" Bai Rutong's heart-piercing howl was exactly the same. Suddenly I forgave him.As a police officer who has nothing to do with himself, the pain he shows is real.His task is to handle the case, he has arrested those two scumbags and brought them to justice, so he can celebrate his success.However, at this moment, he appeared in front of Xiangru's grave, clearly empathizing with this incident. His sadness was definitely not feigned, and there was no need to pretend. "Then, who leaked the news to the newspaper?" "I'm sorry, I can't say." Feng Yuting lowered his head in pain, and lowered his stubborn hand. Professional ethics.However, in the affairs of the world, it is often a violation of morality to fulfill one's duty. The moment Feng Yuting withdrew his hand, I firmly held it and said, "Anyway, thank you for catching the murderer for Xiangru." But Nian'er refused to forgive him, her eyes were bright and aggressive: "How will you sentence? Will you sentence the two rapists to death? Will you let them kill Xiangru?" Feng Yuting was shocked all over, raised his head again, looked at Nian'er speechlessly, and stopped talking.After a while, he lowered his head, turned and left. Nian'er looked at his back, two lines of tears flowed down her pretty face, and entangled distress flashed in her eyes. I know that she has fallen in love with this little policeman, and Feng Yuting clearly regards her very seriously.However, Xiangru's death became an eternal scar between them, making them insurmountable. ——If it wasn't for Xiangru's death, they wouldn't have met each other; if it wasn't for Xiangru's death, maybe they would be a good couple.Good fortune tricks people, what can ordinary sentient beings do before the great god of fate turns upside down? On the way home, it suddenly started to rain.The streets were flooded, buses and taxis were crowded together, horns were blaring, but no one could move. Nian'er and I looked at each other, got out of the car at the same time, and had no intention of sheltering from the rain, so we just walked arm in arm, letting the rain drenched us.Silently crossing half the city, walking all the way home. When I got back to the residence, it was already dark. Standing downstairs and looking up at the window that belongs to us, I felt dizzy, as if I could still see Xiangru sitting on the window sill in a silk nightgown ——With her bare feet, she gently kicked the rose bushes hanging outside the colored iron railings. The roses stabbed her feet. Tian Xingchen, identifying which star confirmed her destiny, then, she opened her arms and jumped down from the balcony... "Ah—" I couldn't help moaning, I covered my eyes and couldn't bear to look any more. Nian'er grasped my shoulder understandingly, and couldn't help repeating her one thousand and one confession: "Why didn't I come back earlier that day? If I were here, maybe nothing would have happened. I didn't even Xiangru didn't see her for the last time..." "How can I blame you? You didn't expect that the reporter of the newspaper would be so shameless to expose Xiangru's affairs; let alone that Bai Rutong would be such a bastard to force Xiangru to death..." I originally wanted to comfort Nian'er , but couldn't help sobbing again. In this way, we comforted each other, confided in our arms and walked into the elevator until we came to the door of our "Sanxiangju".Sanxiangju, Sanxiangju, from now on, are there only two fragrances left? Nian'er took out the key to open the door, but at this moment, that door, that door, opened itself from the inside!Thief?I couldn't help but take a step back and shouted in surprise: "Who? Who's inside?" A girl came out from the door and greeted familiarly: "Are you back? Why are you so wet?" I looked at her, dumbfounded, breathing hard.Xiangru, is this Xiangru?She was clearly standing there, dressed in white snow, with long hair shawl, windless and automatic, lifelike - but, she was obviously dead, we just attended her funeral, and we shed so many tears for her. If it was Su Xiangru we buried just now, then who is this in front of us?