Chapter 10 10. Gone with the Wind

Huang Chang once read an American novel called "The Movie", which was later adapted into a movie and translated into Chinese. She thinks that both names are good, and they both refer to her mother. Zhao Yifan is a Gone with the Wind who floats everywhere and forever, because of her beauty, she is not stable. But this year, her love fell in the flames of war in Singapore, but she herself became stable instead of drifting away.Like a kite, its thread was torn off and stored away, but it has since lost its vitality. She was aging rapidly, and the face of the bright clear sky and bright moon was now covered with cloud-like wrinkles, and she was always worried about the approaching wind and rain, making the sky look dark.

She is no longer keen on dressing up, and it is rare to change a set of clothes. Sometimes she will suddenly stop in a daze in the middle of doing something, and forget what she has said when she turns around. She is too quiet, too tolerant, and resigned. One afternoon, Jiaxiu went to work at the radio station, and Huang Chang took Cui's mother out to do some shopping. When she came back, she saw the British maid accusing Ifan of knocking over the seasoning bottle. Yifan listened with a good-natured smile, her face With a thoughtful look on her face, the British woman scolded contemptuously: "Stupid swine!" (Stupid pig).

Huang Chang was furious, stepped forward and raised his hand, and slapped the Ying woman across the face.The woman covered her face and burst into tears. She rushed forward to fight Huang Chang, but Cui's mother pulled her to her death. Huang Chang was still trembling all over, with tears streaming down her face, partly because of anger, partly because of excitement—this is She hit someone for the first time.She looked at her mother heartbroken, wondering how a blooming rose could suddenly become a dried flower specimen. When Jiaxiu came back in the evening, Naying took her daughter and cried and complained to her. Jiaxiu didn't say a word.

After that, Ivan began to drink heavily. When she is drunk, she talks a lot, loves to laugh, loves to sing, and restores some of her former glory, just like the wine commonly known as "rose burning". Live once, and open up extraordinarily brightly. However, that is short-lived after all. When you wake up the next day, you will find that she is older than the day before—aging at a visible speed, as if she is running at the same time. She likes to go out very much, but she forgets where she is while walking, so she has to call back and ask the driver to pick her up.But sometimes, she would even forget her home phone number, so Jiaxiu and Huang Chang searched all over the world to find it.

Once Huang Chang found her in a small park nearby. She was wearing thin clothes and sitting under the fir tree playing the harmonica. It was a very strange piece of music. She couldn't tell whether she liked it or was sad. When she saw Huang Chang, she raised her head dully and smiled in a trance. : "He taught me. I can never learn, only this paragraph." She recited the lyrics she translated to Huang Chang: "You are the seven-story pagoda, and I am the wind chime on the eaves of the tower; You are the boundless white snow, I am the claw on the snow; You are the rushing waves, and I am the rock on the shore, waiting for you all my life..."

Huang Chang was so sad that she could hardly stand, but at the same time she also felt a deep shock. She still doesn't know much about the war, she just knows that her mother's lover is a brave and enthusiastic British man who hates war, but he is like a moth to a flame, where the flames of war fly, Where is his direction.He vowed to document history with his photography, only to record death instead. I didn't even have time to leave a word for my lover. Zhao Yifan's world was suddenly shattered by the shells, without a word of greeting, the whole world collapsed with a bang.

She once wasted most of her youth for a wrong marriage, and it is rare to meet true love at the end of her youth, but she lost it before she had time to savor the taste of love; she didn't have time to look at him more Handsome face, then lost him forever. For her, Singapore has since become synonymous with death, and that distant and strange country is a huge barren grave in her heart. In her heart, a grave was erected, desolate and silent, where she would sacrifice her true love forever. In her life, there was only endless coldness left. Cold as death. The twilight shrouded the sad mother and daughter like a thin and transparent silk robe.In the evening of that deep winter, Huang Chang stood under the fir tree, and for the first time, deeply felt the distance between death and love.

Love ends with death, but it also lasts forever with death. It is death that gives love a deeper and more tragic beauty. Therefore, death equals love. In the second month after Yifan came back, the Yellow Emperor, accompanied by Huang Kun, came to Jiaxiu to visit once. Jiaxiu and Huang Chang happened to be at home that day, playing the piano and singing with Yifan for fun.Ifan's memory is getting worse and worse these days, but his playing skills have not diminished. The music seems to grow on the fingers, and it will flow out of the keys by itself. When Huangdi entered the door, he heard the singing of his mother and aunt, and couldn't help being in a daze, as if he was a child again, when his mother came back from abroad for the first time, and the family was reunited in Shanghai for the first time.My mother brought a lot of novelties from abroad, such as a wind-up car, a lot of beautifully packaged candies, and these nice foreign songs.

There are often treats at home, and many beautiful ladies are sitting in the living room shaking fans and chatting.There is no lack of social gatherings in their house, but there are few such noble female guests, and even fewer occasions where they are allowed to be around.At that time, at the climax of the party, my mother and aunt would sing one or two foreign songs together. He and his sister were so happy that they clapped their palms red and rolled on the carpet with laughter. That was really the happiest time in his memory, it still seemed like yesterday, but in a blink of an eye, his mother left, his father died, and the home of the year was gone, only these songs were still there, not a single note was changed, even The voice was raised to the highest point, and the aunt's habitual movement of clasping her hands in front of her chest did not change.

Thinking of this, Huang Di's eye circles couldn't help turning red, blinking and blinking like he was about to cry. It was only at this time that Yifan saw the Yellow Emperor, and he stood up with an "ahhh", but he didn't approach him, but just stared at him blankly.I haven't seen her for many years. The doll back then has grown into an adult. She is tall and thin, and looks like she was blown down by the wind. Because she has been adopted by the eldest family, when she saw her biological mother, her attitude was far less sincere than before. She just clasped her hands awkwardly and yelled "Second Aunt".

Yifan was stunned for a while, but he didn't come back to his senses for a long time. After he figured it out, he didn't feel any emotion, so he nodded and said, "You've grown up, that's good." He didn't say anything else, but his eyes were fixed, fixed on him. Looking at my son, I can't make a mistake. On the contrary, Jiaxiu felt emotional after hearing this, and thought that the title of Huang Di was extremely unreasonable. Even if he had already passed on to his eldest brother, he could no longer call his mother his mother, but Yifan had already divorced his second brother, so where did the second aunt come from? ?Thinking about it this way, I am glad that Yifan has become like this now, and he is no more sentimental than before, otherwise he would not know how sad he would be. Huangdi said "Second Aunt", and immediately thought of it, and couldn't help feeling sorry for himself, thinking that his life is really pitiful, his son can't be a son, his nephew can't be a nephew, he doesn't even have the right to call "Mom", tears just stop Can't stop streaming down.He didn't allow anyone to persuade him. When he saw Jiaxiu or Huang Chang approaching him, he hurriedly covered his face and said tremblingly: "I'm fine, in my heart... don't worry about me, let me go... " Huang Kun was used to seeing him like this at home, so he was very impatient, so he took Huang Shang into her room to talk about the news, and brought up the old story again, asking Huang Shang to remind Ke Yi that the Japanese Gendarmerie We are collecting information on him, and suspect that he is a communist. Huang Chang was taken aback, and said angrily: "The Japanese are really the most troublesome and narrow-minded group of people in the world. They think about harming others all day long, and they also suspect that they are going to harm them. No wonder they are not tall. Beijing dialect is all Let the heart and eyes be oppressed." Huang Kun laughed: "You can just talk about it here, but don't talk about it outside. Don't talk outside, even at home. My home is just a group of spies coming in and out every day. Don't look at my dad now. , maybe someday it will be sold by some group of people." Huang Chang frowned and asked, "Uncle is working for the Japanese now?" "Who knows who he will work for? Whoever gives the money will do it for him." When mentioning his father, Huang Kun didn't have much respect in his tone, but remembered a confidant entrusted by his father, "By the way, say Speaking of which, my dad still wants me to ask you to help... Do you know an actress named Bai Helen?" "It's not acquaintance, let's meet. You also met at my birthday party last time." "It's her. Somehow she got to know my dad, and she still wants to recognize my dad as a godfather. In fact, it has no other meaning. She just wants to act in a movie to win a role. Next time you have a book, can you think about her?" Speaking of begging for a godfather, Huang Shang suddenly remembered it, no wonder he felt familiar, then Bai Helen had indeed seen it before, she was Miss Bai, the courtesan whom her father Huang Jiaqi had favored back then, she liked to dress up as a female student, and recognized Jiaqi Being a godfather, in fact, everyone knows what's going on in their hearts. Now she has finally acted in a movie, but after going around, she still follows the Huang family.Huang Laoda not only took over Huang Er's family property and son, but even his second wife's wife.Although Bai Helen is much older than before, it doesn't matter, Uncle Huang is also much older than Second Master Huang, so it's even. Huang Chang was a little surprised. After so many years, this woman is still active in Vanity Fair and can still find her own position, which is not easy.Feeling emotional for a while, I didn't hear Huang Kun's words clearly, and only noticed the last sentence: "...'No one sings low', what is it?" Because it sounded familiar, I couldn't help asking: "What allusion is this sentence?" Huang Kun's face turned red, he hesitated to speak. Huang Chang guessed it, and smiled: "It must not be a good book." Huang Kun also laughed: "It's the number one obscene book in the world." Huang Chang was taken aback for a moment: "?" Huang Kun nodded: "Writing about Huilian." It is rare to have an allusion that the talented Huang Chang didn't understand, and she couldn't help but prolong her voice, "Stand leaning against the door, and people come and follow; hold your chin and bite your fingers, Adjusting clothes for no reason; shaking legs frequently when sitting and standing, no one sings a song..." Before the recitation was finished, Huang Chang had already burst out laughing. Every sentence was exactly what Bai Helen described at the birthday party that night, but it was too mean. When they laughed, their troubles seemed to be thrown away for a while, but as soon as the laughter stopped, new troubles resurfaced, like wildfire that can't be burned out, and the spring breeze blows again. Huang Chang sighed: "In a family like ours, the more unreasonable things are, the more normal they seem... You said that Bai Helen, it would be easy to assign a role, but how can I explain it when my aunt asks her in the future?" Huang Kun said indifferently: "My mother doesn't care, and it's not serious. But she will let go after two or three days." Huang Chang couldn't help feeling a little melancholy, thinking that this Bai Helen's character like a peach blossom, her luck like catkins, sticks to the east for a while, and sticks to the west for a while, but she can't stick to it. When the breeze blows, she floats in the air again. Now, maybe, this is the fate of an actor.Thinking of her, he thought of the noisy gongs and drums in the old home, and the criss-crossing of cups and cups, and he couldn't help but think of his mother's situation today, so he couldn't help but sigh. The siblings, one in the inner room and the other in the outer room, talked differently, but coincidentally, they had the same nostalgic thoughts.Perhaps, this is blood. Because of Yifan's return, the peaceful "Shui Wuyou" became less and less peaceful, gradually filled with gloom and mist. Yifan made everyone a little nervous, because if he was too careful to treat her gently, he would inevitably pass on the sullenness to others. First, Huang Chang suddenly became a workaholic, working on the script day and night, and asked the film company to pay in advance for the film. Because she was not good at communication, the other party didn't say anything, but she was already blushing, and she was inevitably unhappy; Then Mama Cui quarreled with the other foreign servants all day long because she paid too much attention to protecting her "Second Grandma", and suffered from language barriers. Every time she talked with a duck, she had to supplement it with hand gestures. Dumb, making a family homeless; In the end, even Jiaxiu, who had always been gentle and calm, became irritable. With the addition of a new family member, the financial situation suddenly became tight. Although Huang Shang's film salary was high, the cost of seeing a doctor for Ifan was even higher, and Huang Shang's Living ability has always been poor, and he doesn't know how to manage money at all, let alone Yifan, who sometimes takes out a whole stack of banknotes and only buys a small piece of snacks back.Jiaxiu became the natural head of the family, and she felt mentally exhausted, so Cui's mother could only watch over Yifan and not let her go out alone.But she took several part-time jobs at the same time, mostly when she was not at home, and Mama Cui always had an old-fashioned awe for the "Second Grandma". When Yifan calmly ordered her to do things, she would do them like a poisoned man. , completely involuntarily.Jiaxiu is inconvenient to lose her temper because she is the old man who brought Huang Chang up since she was a child, but she is very troubled in her heart. One day, Jiaxiu got off work from the radio station very late, because she read the political news all afternoon, and felt very uncomfortable. When she got home, Cui's mother rushed to report that the young lady had gone out to socialize and hadn't come back, and the second grandma had gone out all afternoon. She didn't even make a phone call No call back either. Jiaxiu just felt her head buzzing, kicked over the basin of shavings water Cui Ma left on the floor for combing her hair without thinking, pointed and cursed: "Are you coming back to eat and watch a play? Two Grandma, Second Grandma, I’ve said it several times, it’s called Miss Yifan, who is your second grandma here? I think you are really a grandma, and I can’t stand anyone, what else can I do? The only difference is that I didn’t set up a memorial tablet for you Give it up!" Cui's mother started to cry, she pulled up her skirt and wiped her eyes to argue: "Do I want my second grandma to get lost? She is so big, she has arms and legs, how can I see her going out? She is grandma, and I am the next one." Man, is it possible to lock her with a chain? I also know that the third lady is good with the second grandmother and cares about the second grandmother. It is no wonder that you lose your temper, but if you lose your temper, you can get the second grandmother back. I would rather suffer from you Scolding, just scolding is useless, I told Miss San that I expected you to find a way to find someone to go." These few words hit Jiaxiu's heart, anxious and ashamed, she couldn't help but shed tears.The wood shavings were soaked in water, and cautiously moved forward along the carpet. A little further forward, the wet spots on the carpet became darker in color, as if they were angry. Jiaxiu wiped away her tears, didn't change her shoes, turned around and went out to find someone.Suddenly, the elevator "emptied" sounded, and it stopped on its own floor, and opened the door, but it was Yifan who came back. As if she had found a treasure, Jiaxiu quickly changed her smile and went up to her. Seeing that her hair was covered with a layer of frost, she asked gently: "Why is it snowing outside? I didn't feel it when I came back." , but could not brush it off, only to realize that it was white hair.I couldn't help being startled, a coldness seeped out from my bones. Yi Fan smiled and said, "Who do you think I invited?" Only then did Jiaxiu see that Ke Yi was still following behind, no wonder Yifan was able to find her way home by herself.At this time, she was supporting Yifan with one hand and the door with the other, her hair was disheveled, her shoes were wet, her face was covered with tears, and she was very embarrassed. When she saw Ke Yi suddenly, she was embarrassed and embarrassing, and she couldn't help but freeze for a while. I don't know how to answer. Ke Yi had never seen Jiaxiu in such a situation before, so he couldn't help being stunned.When I first met Yifan and Jiaxiu in Europe, one of them was bright and beautiful, and the other was generous and hearty. If Yifan is a flower, Jiaxiu is the water that reflects the flowers, and the wind with fragrance, although it is not enough to make people glance at it in the crowd. Recognize her, but you will remember her for a long time after you recognize her.But today, the water is wrinkled by the wind, and the beauty of the face has also faded, which makes people sigh suddenly.During these days, he asked Jiaxiu to meet several times, but she rejected her on the grounds of taking care of Yifan. Today he knew that it was not an excuse, but the coldest fact.At this time, no one has the heart to be romantic again, his family is beautiful, time and time again, the time to meet is always not the time. Without a sound, Dusk mercilessly smashed down among them.Finally, Jiaxiu said sadly: "Thank you." He heard it, but it was just like: "I'm sorry." At this point, Ke Yi clearly knew that Jia Xiutong herself was really doomed, she had always embraced celibacy, and Yifan's tragedy shattered her last dream of a mandarin relationship. The two of them looked at each other silently across Yifan, but they only felt that there was a long distance between them, and they were close at hand and far away in the sky, but they could never walk together again. Yifan was getting old, but Huang Chang suddenly became beautiful. Just like Yifan's return was to rush to pass on the beauty and charm of his life to his daughter. As she got older day by day, Huang Chang's clothes became plump day by day, fresh and moist, and crystal clear. Not in adulthood, but in grinding diamonds. This is the most beautiful age in a woman's life, and she is even more glamorous in her famous photos. Her beauty spread throughout Shanghai. Usually, as long as a "talented girl" is not ugly, people will tolerantly award her the title of "beauty" at the same time, not to mention that Huang Chang is an out-and-out ugly duckling turned into a swan, so dazzlingly beautiful, there is no doubt about it . Moreover, although she is not as beautiful and dignified as Yi Fan, she is good at dressing up, and all the clothes and jewelry are designed by herself, so as to be dazzling and unique.Originally, he had a seven-point talent, but with a five-point dress, he became twelve-point beautiful. At the same time, her second movie "The Flaming Mandarin Duck" was released, about war and love.It was inspired by her mother.Through his mother, Huang Shang indirectly came into contact with war and death, love and disillusionment. From the beginning to the end, the film is full of the shadow of death. The lovers race against the god of death in the gap between life and death, fighting for every minute and second of time to love each other in the bullets and artillery fire. Their love is as noble and supreme as God. The hero and heroine Changing the current format of the creamy genius and the pink lady, it shows an unprecedented sense of vicissitudes, the lines are poignant to the point of tenderness, and every word is tears. But the audience likes it, and they have to watch it a second time after watching it once. In addition to taking a handkerchief to wipe their tears, they also take a pen and paper to record the lines, and then recite those poignant lines as love poems. Regarding the lyrics translated by his mother, Huang Chang copied them on the screen as they were, and became a classic dialogue familiar to young movie fans: "You are the seven-story pagoda, and I am the wind chime on the eaves of the tower; You are the boundless white snow, I am the claw on the snow; You are the rushing waves, and I am the rock on the shore, waiting for you all my life. " The impact of the film was unprecedented, so that when the foreign business cards "Broken Blue Bridge" and "Battlefield Bell", which are also about war and love, became popular in China, Shanghai residents did not take it seriously, thinking that it was far inferior to Huang Chang's "Raging Fire". mandarin duck". Like the post-production of "Peach Red Spa", Ke Yi once again proposed that the heroine's lines should be more thoughtful, not blindly pursuing sadness, but more appealing. trouble.Ke Yi insisted on his own opinion, and went to the heads of relevant departments, and finally the film was released as scheduled. On the day of the premiere, Huang Chang received a large flower basket filled with birds of paradise and bluebells, and attached a beautiful card with hidden pattern, which read: "I don't expect you to hear the wind chimes, I dare not expect to leave a shadow on the snow, I just want to be a gust of wind, Blow that wind chime, blow that snowflake, blow that wave, Maybe it's just a look back, maybe we can have a cup of tea together, But enough.I just want this. " The signature is "Cai Zhuowen". Huang Chang didn't remember who was called "Cai Zhuowen", but she appreciated this passage and this graceful way of dating, so she asked Sister Fang, the drama manager, "What about the person who sent the flowers?" Sister Fang seemed to be quite familiar with this Cai Zhuowen, and immediately replied: "Mr. Cai himself did not come up. It was his driver who delivered the flowers, and he is still waiting outside." As she spoke, she opened the curtain, and the driver stood far away, seeing Huang Chang immediately bowed. Huang Chang was taken aback for a moment: "Is it Japanese?" "No, but it seems that the person who has contacts with the Japanese is quite a big official. The immediate supervisor in our industry can't afford to offend him. I heard that this time the film was approved in the end because of Mr. Cai's efforts. Woolen cloth." Huang Chang suddenly realized who this "Mr. Cai" was, blushed for no reason, hesitated for a while, and murmured to Sister Fang, "Do you think I should talk to him or not?" Sister Fang was flattered when she saw that the screenwriter Huang Da actually asked for her opinion, and hurriedly provided information with all her heart: "I want to go, this kind of person can't be blamed, and even Director Ke asked him; but it's nothing to get too close to them." It’s a good thing, it doesn’t cause people to talk about it, it’s not good for your reputation; but half of the entertainment is always required, if you really don’t want to go...” After a long while, I didn’t say whether to go or not. Huang Chang became impatient: "It's just a broken official, what a big deal, if you are afraid of wolves and tigers, just ignore him. Go tell the driver, just say that I have something to do at home, thank him, and drink it another day Tea." But when she was going out, she found that the driver was still standing outside the curtain. When they saw each other, she immediately bowed again and asked respectfully, "You said to drink tea another day, and Mr. Cai asked what day it is." Huang Chang gave a "chuck" smile: "If you say 'change the day', it will naturally be the day of 'change the day'." He walked away. The driver didn't pursue it, he just followed him all the way out, and opened the door before the entrance of the theater: "Miss Huang, please." Huang Chang was a little annoyed: "I said it will be another day..." Before he finished speaking, Cai Zhuowen got off the taxi, took off his hat and gave Huang Chang a slight nod. Huang Chang's face became hot again for no reason, and the half-sentence stopped there, unable to lose his temper. Cai Zhuowen smiled and said unhurriedly: "I heard that you are in a hurry to go home. I am afraid that it will be inconvenient if you don't have a car, so I want to give you a ride. I don't want to make you unhappy." The action of "please". Huang Chang knew that he had blamed the wrong person, so he was even more embarrassed. He lowered his head and obediently stepped into the car, reported the house number and address, and then didn't say a word.She is not a shy person by nature, but every time she faces Mr. Cai, she feels her heart beating faster and her behavior is at a loss.Moreover, just like the first time I saw him, I suddenly felt like crying, inexplicably sad. Fortunately, Cai Wenzhuo is not a talkative person, he didn't strike up a conversation along the way, until the car stopped, he only said one sentence: "Goodbye." He waved his hand and drove away. But the moment the car drove away, he saw her smiling in the rearview mirror, which was very light and bright. Standing in the light and shadow, under the illumination of the taillights of the car, she smiled suddenly, like an epiphyllum blooming in an instant, with innocent charm. It was a red fox in the snow, erratic, agile, glamorous, with a lonely temperament. Who can stop that shock? She knew he saw her smile. He also knew she knew he was watching her laugh. The car turned around slowly and sped away. However, the smile at that moment has become the eternal memory of the two of them, until they grow old and die, but he (she) in the memory will always be young.