Chapter 8 all love is dead

Ruan Mi'er received an express mail, which contained a stack of photos—photos of her and Men Hai together. They didn't do much together, they just played tennis, drank coffee, took a walk, and most of all, they were eating a cup of ice cream together.The photo was taken very clearly, without any obscenity, it looked like an ice cream poster. Mi'er's first reaction was blackmail—someone took a photo of her meeting with Men Hai to blackmail her. However, apart from the photos, there was no text in the express mail.There was no threatening warning, no quid pro quo, not even a ransom amount.

Maybe the other party didn't want to leave any papers.Mi'er thought, according to the arrangement in the movie, the next step should be that the phone rang in due course, and a man's voice said on the phone: Miss Ruan, did you receive the item?How do you feel?I did a good job, right?Ha ha ha ha…… But neither did the phone. After waiting for a long time for the phone call, Mi'er finally gradually cleared her mind: she can't sit here and wait for death, she should discuss with Menhai and discuss what they should do next. Menhai frowned into the word "Chuan", and after a while, he said something inexplicable: "This is the mantis catching the cicada, and the oriole is behind."

"What praying mantis? What oriole?" Mi'er was alert, "Who do you say is the cicada and which is the sparrow?" "Mi'er, let's elope." Men Hai suddenly grabbed Mi'er's arm, "This matter will be exposed sooner or later, we might as well act first, let's elope." "Elope?" Mi'er was incredulous, "What elope? Why did we elope? This is not making a movie." "Mi'er, don't you want to be with me?" "There are many ways to be together, why elope? At worst, I will have a showdown with Li Jia and divorce. Why elope?"

"Divorce?" This time it was Menhai's turn to be stunned. "Yes, divorce." Mi'er said easily, "Even if someone really blackmailed me, the condition for intimidation is nothing more than showing these photos to Li Jia. The worst result is that Li Jia divorces me. Then we won't Together? Why elope?" Men Hai obviously didn't expect Mi'er to answer like this, he asked hesitantly, "Will Li Jia agree?" "Is there any reason not to agree? He doesn't know how deeply he loves me. It's just a momentary passion. He has already obtained and satisfied. After getting married and then divorced, he is still the fifth son of a diamond. What will he lose? Not sure. He wants to keep an unfaithful wife around to embarrass himself."

"So easy?" Menhai was at a loss. Mi'er laughed: "What do you think will happen? He will be mad because of my pain? Kill people and set fire to him? Slash his love with a sword and escape into Buddhism? He won't. If you don’t give me a dime, I don’t care about it anyway.” "But, but..." Menhai suddenly stuttered, "Are you really willing to give up your identity as the young mistress of the Li family for me?" "Identity?" Mi'er chuckled, "An actor has a certain identity in whatever role she plays. I have never been a good actor, I can't be a leading actress, let alone a director or screenwriter. Before, I always thought that being a heroine was my ideal, and I enjoyed the spotlight on me. When Li Jia proposed to me, it seemed that reporters from all over the city rushed over. I wanted to maintain that vanity for one more minute. I was not willing to say 'no', because that would be tantamount to denying the script - but it was my first time as a protagonist. So I agreed. I became Mrs. Li Jia, the proprietress of many companies and enterprises, and I went to' Su Yao Pavilion' to experience life... But I found that I still haven't found my role. I don't like the identity of the young mistress, I don't want those, I am still young, my body, my heart, are still Unable to adapt to the life of the young mistress, I stayed in the big garden of Li's family, lying under the rose bushes, as if I had died, as if I had also become a branch of those roses, basking in the sun, numb and carefree, No thoughts and no desires—that’s not what I want. My body is full of passion and desire. I am a layman, an ordinary little girl. I hope to fall in love and like to have sex. Give it to me. Between a comfortable life and passionate love, I would rather choose love. Menhai, if you are willing to take me to elope, then let us be together, face Li Jia together, and make it clear to him!"

Facing Ruan Mi'er's impassioned remarks, Men Hai seemed to be frightened. He looked at Mi'er thoughtfully, and suddenly asked: "Li Jia will fall in love with you, because he likes your arrogance that the sky is falling into a quilt, right? Rarely A woman can take it easy like you, and be frank and upright." "Even stealing an affair is justifiable." Mi'er laughed at herself, "The biggest advantage in my life is thick-skinned, black-hearted, big-chested and brainless." "Women who are willing to say they have no brains are often the smartest." Men Hai narrowed his eyes and said, "You really have a reason to win."

Mi'er was a little uneasy: "Who did I win? You have been talking in a weird way today. What are you talking about?" "I want to say—we might as well break up." Mi'er was dumbfounded all of a sudden. In the evening, Mi'er complained to her friends online: "It only took half a minute from eloping to breaking up. What do you think makes sense?" "You and Li Jia never knew about marriage, and it's been less than half a month." Chen Yu laughed at her, "Quick battles have always been your style. Menhai is just to match your rhythm."

But Ke Yi asked worriedly: "You are broken in love now, right? Why didn't I appreciate your crying, heartbroken, and dying? At least you acted normally, and at least scolded or said something. Hai doesn’t know how to appreciate and cherish, and it’s reasonable to be unlucky.” She turned to Lu Yu, “You should analyze it, what kind of mentality is Mi’er?” "This is nothing more sad than death." Lu Yu smiled: "I don't understand Mi'er's thoughts, but your thoughts are very clear - typical sour grapes mentality. Envious of others having an affair, rejoicing that their affair died young, gloating, Put yourself in the shoes of others, I wish your friends would open their wounds and let you visit, otherwise it would be like buying a ticket to enter but not seeing a good show staged.”

Keyi yelled: "Stop! With psychoanalysis like you, people don't want to live, and there is no half of a perfect person left in the world. There are no perfect people in the world, but at least everyone can still have dreams, or what is called a mask. Okay, you thought you were tearing off the mask, but in fact, you smashed even your dreams." Chen Yu also said: "In the future, I will not tell you about myself, lest you watch the movie for free and make malicious comments." Mi'er didn't care and said, "I'm an actor, and I'd love to have you guys as loyal audiences." After a while, I couldn't help asking again, "Why do you think Menhai is so abnormal? The previous day One minute he wanted to elope with passion, and the next minute he said he wanted to break up. After my heart-to-heart confession, instead of being moved, he flinched, what's going on?"

Lu Yu said: "It's just that I don't want to bear it. An affair is an affair, even elopement is still a part of the affair, but if you really want to divorce for him, it's tantamount to forcing him to marry you. It's not an affair but a marriage. He probably doesn't want to Marriage? Many men are like this. They like to seduce married women because young women are more mature and rational, so they are safe and have no worries. But once the young woman admits the truth and refuses to marry unless he is the one, he will run away quickly Rabbit is fast, because he is afraid of taking responsibility. Especially for someone like you, if you want to divorce for him, it will become the handle and evidence of his life, so he must break up with you decisively before the situation worsens, as a guarantee A way out. That way, even if you do get divorced, he will say it's none of his business."

Chen Yu glanced at Lu Yu, and said with something in his words: "So young women are often more lucky than young girls, so many people like to use the banner of young women to attract bees and butterflies. Because when they fall in love with girls, they always hope that the other party You can become your own husband in the future, but most men are unwilling to associate love with marriage; fall in love with a young woman, but the result is only to develop into a lover, that is the role that men like to play the most. But maybe Menhai is Afraid of Li Jia's power, afraid of offending Li Jia, maybe they will mobilize the underworld to settle accounts with him, and when he sees the truth, he thinks of cutting the mess quickly and running away." But Ke Yi said: "Why do you think of people so badly? Maybe Menhai was worried that Mi'er would not be able to endure hardships in the future, and felt that being with Mi'er would only harm her, so he reluctantly parted with her and gave Mier a comfortable life." Life." "It's really a novelist's word." Chen Yu sneered, "I am afraid that the only people in this world who still believe in perfect love are the heroines in your novels?" But Lu Yu smiled and said, "It's safe to think of the worst in everything, and it's not bad to think of the best in everything. Only by deceiving yourself and others can you enjoy yourself. This proves that Keyi is still young and still has innocence. It's you who always act like a disillusioned person." The appearance of going through vicissitudes, be careful to reveal your age." Mi'er was a little annoyed: "When someone discusses serious matters with you, you will only make jokes." Chen Yu satirized: "Is having an affair a serious matter? I just found out today." Mi'er retorted: "Yes, only love that doesn't go to bed is a serious thing like you did in Guilin." Lu Yu hurriedly put out the fire: "Don't, don't kill each other, okay? This world is full of thorns, ambushed on all sides, blackmailed and blackmailed, and the battle of wits and courage with men is exhausted. How can we resist fighting in our own nests?" ?” Ke Yi also said: "Why should a woman make things difficult for a woman; the natural enemy of a woman is a woman; half of a woman is still a woman; the biggest worry for a woman is that she wants to have a safe marriage and a constant passion. The two are always in conflict, so she is suspicious. Wolves care about gains and losses, distracted, and never happy. After all, every woman is lonely, and things hurt her kind, and it is also because of loneliness." "Every woman is lonely." This sentence fell on the hearts of the girlfriends, and they all sank suddenly, trembling and indigestion for a long time. After a long time, Mi'er first apologized: "I'm in a bad mood, and the dog can't spit out ivory. Chen Yu, you have a lot of adults, don't bite the dog with my dog." Chen Yu laughed angrily: "You, even if you apologize, you have to take someone else along with you. What dog eats dog?" Mi'er grinned: "You were born in 1970, and I was born in 1982, both belong to the dog, right?" Chen Yu was even more angry: "Why mention someone's age for no reason? You're really talking, a dog can't spit out ivory, and doesn't have a good word." Lu Yu began to sell her theory of finding love again: "Mi'er, didn't you keep saying that you want to travel abroad? Why don't you start making arrangements now. Maybe you and Li Jia will spark new love during the second honeymoon. When you are in a foreign land Emotional quotient will improve, it is for our sisters to experience all the places they want to go but can't go, and it is not in vain to be a wealthy young woman. Forget about the door sea, or focus on how to manage your business In terms of marriage, that is the happiness of your life." Chen Yu yearned leisurely: "Let's go to Paris. Drinking coffee on the Left Bank, shopping at the Champs Elysees, taking pictures at the Eiffel Tower, how romantic - but these are interesting to do with strange men, husband and wife Swimming with two arms together is not very interesting. I have experience with this. The so-called "love is on the road" must contain two elements of "encounter" and "accident", both of which are indispensable. Planned honeymoon trips for couples are not included .” Ke Yi smiled: "In other words, if you can have an affair without leaving Shanghai, then Shanghai will be more charming than Paris. Our Mi'er is just the opposite. She met an affair in Shanghai, but she has to go to Paris to forget it." Mi'er lazily said: "People dream of Paris because of the superstitious belief that it is the birthplace of brewing romances. How can anyone bring their own frozen romances and fly to Paris to thaw out in a hurry? Besides, I found that I am right I don't have much interest in developing Li Jia's sexual desire. It doesn't matter whether he loves me or not, to what extent and when he loves me. Because the way he expresses his love is nothing more than money. I'm not saying I don't care Money, but he doesn’t care—even if I got divorced because of my affair, Li Jia would not let me leave penniless, and would give me some living expenses anyway. He is too rich, so he doesn’t care about money ——" She suddenly realized a question that she had never thought about before, "Oh, could it be because he is too rich and it is too easy to get affection, so his EQ has become low and he no longer knows how to love?" Lu Yu said thoughtfully: "Maybe it's because he has suffered some setbacks in love, and there is a knot in his heart - if you can find the crux and open this knot, you will reopen the door of his love. Love and sexual desire Similarly, there is a sensitive point, and it is necessary to find the right point and prescribe the right medicine. Some people, even if they have not received any stimulation, will be born with a crux. Hot'—but it can still be hot if it is slow, you have to give your married life a little more patience and confidence." Keyi concluded: "To turn broken love into strength, and turn an affair into an affair—the outside world is wonderful, but now it has become helpless, so it is better to redecorate the internal relationship and recreate the passion. If I were you, I would go to Italy, Look at the ancient city of Pompeii. That's really my ideal place. It's shocking to think about it - the god of time is pacing slowly, everyone is living their own life leisurely, and suddenly at that moment, the volcanic ash is overwhelming, and people are too late Thought evasion becomes a specimen, a posture remains unchanged for more than nineteen hundred years, and the whole city becomes a model under the volcanic ash - it is so amazing that even the word great is not enough describe." Lu Yu began to analyze Keyi's psychology again: "Why do you always like these things that are far away from real life? Even when traveling, you want to go back to the sealed historical space. In the best way, this is emotional, in the deepest way But it is a kind of escape, an image representation of despair. You hide your inner despair, but reveal it in the aesthetic appreciation all the time, and look for things that resonate with you and inner despair from the scenery to respond to yourself, which is too pessimistic .” Chen Yu smiled: "I didn't hear any pessimism in Keyi, but your explanation and analysis made people feel hopeless. Everyone dissects and analyzes like this, and it's almost like a specimen. But I don't think a two-thousand-year-old What’s so interesting about the empty city? I just want to go to Paris, ah the Left Bank coffee, ah the Eiffel Tower, ah the Mona Lisa... It’s so enviable. A little more than others. Unlike me, who has nothing in marriage except a pair of twins, and once you give up, you have nothing." Lu Yu also smiled: "This is much more positive, at least you are enjoying real life, and if you have material desires, you will be interested." Mi'er still said lazily: "But what can I show off? There are two roles in the world that cannot be used in the past tense, one is 'wife' and the other is 'actor'." I used to be a certain man's wife', 'I used to be an actress', both fail equally. Because it means you are not successful as a wife, so you are dumped by someone, and you are not successful as an actor, so you have to remind yourself , because everyone knows a good actor, and there is no need to reveal his identity." She laughed nervously, "Now, these two situations are likely to happen to me at the same time." "Honey, it's not as tragic as you said." Keyi comforted, "Being someone's wife is better than never being someone's wife. Being an actor is at least an experience. After all, you have enjoyed everything, fame and fortune. , married life, an affair, even a possible elopement, and an upcoming world tour. You have achieved the goals of many people's struggles in advance. From then on, you have a lot of time to start a different life." "You really know how to comfort people." Mi'er suddenly cried: "Do you know? When he told me that he would take me to elope, I really felt love. I really want to talk about a complete love, sincerely Sincere, unforgettable, just like what is written in Ke Yi's novels, heart-wrenching, desperate, love once with all your strength and painstaking efforts, love until you are broken to pieces, and you are not afraid. But he flinched. He flinched It makes me feel that not only is the result empty, but even every word he said to me before is empty, making me doubt his love, whether he has never loved me, just like Li Even though Li Jia married me, I also feel that he has never loved me, and I myself have never had a complete love..." Mi'er's words made everyone silent, whether it was comfort or encouragement, they seemed so powerless in Mi'er's tears.Who doesn't long for a complete love?Each of them is struggling on the road to marriage, walking in fear and worrying about gains and losses, but at the same time, everyone is looking forward to changes and surprises in life, but the true meaning of marriage is stability, family and everything. Are stable marriages and passionate love opposites?Is It Wrong for a Young Married Woman to Want Love?Putting the hope of life on marriage, does it mean that you will despair of love from now on? Lu Yu noticed sensitively that Keyi was less and less summarizing their nonsensical discussions. When Mi'er flew to Paris, Chen Yu also flew to Dunhuang. She was looking for Long Dongdong.Luna's "lover theory" stimulated her.Since you can't give up a marriage without love, why not pursue a love without marriage? Only after Chen Yu called the travel agency in Guilin did he find out that Long Dongdong had changed from being a "ground pick-up" to a "tour leader" and was now leading a group to Dunhuang.So she came to find the purest love in her life and complete it. When Long Dongdong saw Chen Yu's first glance, he was really shocked. There was such undoubted appreciation and love in his eyes, but his words were flat: "It's you? I saw you again." Chen Yu's heart suddenly felt at ease.This is Dongdong, the shy and pure Dongdong.On the way here, she had been faintly afraid, wondering if Long Dongdong had changed into another person, had become rough, vulgar, and glib in the tempering of reality, that would break her heart, and make her come back to love again. I also don't believe that there is pure love in the world.Fortunately, he has not changed, he is still the sunny boy Long Dongdong with a clear heart. "I'm here to find you." Chen Yu smiled, her eyes were a little moist, "I once told you not to contact me, but I broke the contract myself." Long Dongdong opened his arms, and Chen Yu rushed in.They kissed deeply, and finally, they fulfilled a wish that was almost a previous life.That time at Elephant Trunk Hill in Guilin, they promised to kiss goodbye, but they never kissed each other in the end. Today, she came to fulfill their wish. Chen Yu's tears flowed down, and in the arms of this boy who was much younger than herself, she felt safe and kind like never before.They've known each other for almost their entire lives, but it's only today that they have their first kiss.The past life is really wasted. On the day Mi'er and Li Jia flew to Paris, Mi'er already sensitively noticed that this was not Li Jia's first visit to France.Li Jia didn't deny it: "I used to come here once or twice when discussing business, and I didn't stay long." "Are you talking about business?" Mi'er teased half-truthfully, "But why didn't you mention it before?" Li Jia smiled: "Thirty years have passed, but I can't tell you clearly in a day or two. Where have I been, whether it's business or travel, are they trivial things after all? I haven't had time to report them one by one." "But if you are on vacation with your girlfriend, it's a big deal. How many girls have you accompanied to Paris?" Li Jia didn't speak. Mi'er put her hands on her hips like a shrew: "Will you tell me?" "Say, talk." Li Jia pretended to be panicked, "I'm counting one by one, and I haven't finished counting yet." Even though it was an old joke, it still made Mi'er laugh out loud.The couple embraced and gave each other a sweet kiss. Long Dongdong accompanied Chen Yu to look at the murals, and Chen Yu's arrogance broke out again, and he criticized: "Why do so many people fly all the way to see these paintings? It is flat and single, let's say it is idealized, and the colors are not full. , the figure is not irritating; let’s say it is realistic, but it is different, exaggerated and distorted, and there is no three-dimensional beauty. If you want me to say that poetry and poetry are good in China, when it comes to painting, Western oil paintings are beautiful.” Long Dongdong was not convinced, and first argued with her, citing the dynamics of "Wu Dai Dangfeng", Tang Sancai's richness, but after all, she is not as eloquent as her, and gradually only she talks and he listens.But he would still point to a mural from time to time and ask her: "What about this one? How about this one? And this one, isn't the expression vivid?" Seriously like a child. Chen Yu's heart couldn't help being moved, and he wanted to tease him more and more.Because he mentioned that a mirage appeared in the nearby Mu Us Desert not long ago, infinite romantic stories flashed in her mind, and she immediately clamored to see it. He hesitated: the road is very long, and it takes a week to go back and forth, and sea markets are not common...but she insisted.He couldn't refuse, and even handed over the team to his peers to lead him at the risk of violating discipline. When a person knows that the other party's request is unreasonable but still cannot refuse, if it is not fear, then it is love. Chen Yu thought happily: Long Dongdong really loves her.Love her so much. Mi'er is sitting in the left bank cafe, drinking cappuccino while asking a wandering painter to paint. This cafe is really strange. The same cup of coffee has three prices depending on the seat—the most expensive outside, followed by the window, and the cheapest is to have a drink in the store.This is probably for the convenience of looking at the scenery - it seems that what the store sells is not coffee, but scenery. However, Mi'er is not born to look at the scenery, but wants people to see her as a scenery. Naturally, as if she has a grudge against money, she chooses the most expensive seat to sit in, and then thinks idly: Why is this seat so expensive? The wandering painter has seen countless people, and when he sees Mi'er, he knows that she is the best customer, so he goes forward to ask for business, and naturally hits it off. Maybe all the street painters in the world are similar, such situation can be seen everywhere in Shanghai, but this is Paris after all.Everything in Paris is romantic, including of course the wandering painters. Li Jia was not with her, and he said he was going to visit a business partner. Mi'er thought lonely: If I didn't have an affair when I came to Paris, wouldn't this trip be too pitiful? Chen Yu finally came to the Mu Us Desert. It was a shocking expanse. In the desert, all kinds of twists and turns and subtle emotions receded, leaving only the naked and true original love.She and Long Dongdong are the only two left in the world, cuddling each other from ancient times to this life. Long Dongdong's face suddenly became serious, and he looked at the sky solemnly and said shortly: "There is a storm, but don't worry, it will pass soon." As soon as the words fell, thousands of troops and horses had already laid down on the ground, and their momentum was unstoppable.In the city, it has never been imagined that nature can be so fierce.The world is chaotic, the universe is prehistoric, Chen Yu tremblingly grasps Long Dongdong, as if grasping the only support of the end of the world. His eyes were serious and firm, and she was relieved. At this time, seeing the calmness of the camels, they automatically lay down and lay down with their necks crossed, setting up a meat screen. Long Dongdong hugged Chen Yu and hid behind the screen.The sand is advancing like a flood, and the wind is like weeping, as if telling an unknown ancient story buried in the desert.Chen Yu lay in Long Dongdong's arms, and fell asleep peacefully amidst his loud and rhythmic heartbeat.There is no dream. It was already dusk when I woke up, the setting sun was like blood, shining like a pair of birds with the same fate on the horizon, it was absolutely desolate and beautiful.The desert calms down at this time, and the sea water is as undulating as combing through, infinitely gentle.Long Dongdong's peaceful sleeping dimple was as holy as a baby, and he was handsome and bright even if the wind and sand couldn't hide it. Chen Yu watched and couldn't help but kiss deeply. Long Dongdong opened her eyes at this moment, she kissed his forehead lightly, and smiled in the setting sun, she believed that her smile at that moment was as bright as a rose.He embraced her with open arms, as if embracing his own heart. The two camels sleeping with their necks together lie majestically in the setting sun like sculptures. In the desert for the rest of their lives, Chen Yu finally sees the ultimate love.She knew that in this life, there would never be such a magnificent moment again, so beautiful that it made one's heart palpitate.If she can't make this moment into eternity, she will regret it forever. She looked at Long Dongdong, after this catastrophe of life and death, she finally made the decision that could change the lives of both of them: "You once said: As long as I get divorced, you are willing to marry me. Does this sentence still count?" ?” The painter completed Mier's face and signed a beautiful French sentence on it. Mi'er looked at the plausible sketch, and finally became interested in the message. That line of French seemed familiar. Where did I see it?She asked in blunt English: "What do you mean?" "To my love." The wandering painter's English is much more fluent than Mier's, "Sweetheart, you are so beautiful." Mi'er's affair finally happened, from the postscript of a portrait worth five euros. At Lanzhou Airport, Long Dongdong looked at Chen Yu, with pain like cutting flesh and heart out in his eyes, and he was about to leave at last.He handed her a sand painting with a picture frame. If the picture frame was shaken, the sand inside would instantly change into various patterns; if it stood still, it would be a mirage. He said word by word: "You can divorce at any time, and I will marry you at any time." "Give me some time." Chen Yu promised, "I will look for you as soon as I complete the divorce procedures." Dongdong nodded heavily: "I will, I will always wait for you." The plane ascended into the sky, as if it had ascended into a time tunnel, and when it landed, it had already traveled from the other side to this side, a completely different world. The setting sun in the desert suddenly turned into a scene from another world, and the bustle of the twins flying over and calling "Mom" made Chen Yu in a trance, as if falling from a fantasy into reality.At that moment, she already understood that she was going to disappoint Long Dongdong, and it was impossible for her to go back to find him, let alone get a divorce. Everything in Mu Us, in the final analysis, is just a mirage myth. Mi'er returned to the hotel with her portrait and love message, feeling along the way: Love in this era is too cheap.It's just a slogan.Whoever is willing to pay five dollars can get the wandering painter to say "sweetheart"; of course, if the man is willing to pay more euros, he will definitely be able to buy a more passionate love affair from the blonde. Leave a message on the sketch, I don't know if it is the custom of all French street painters, or this one's unique habit?It must not be unique, because I have seen a similar portrait and a similar message before. Mi'er suddenly stopped, wait, where did I see such a portrait, and a message?Yes—it's Huihui's portrait!It's a snapshot of Huihui hidden in the cover of the diary! That sentence in French, which Keyi once had someone specially translate, is "give me love".For a long time, they misunderstood that Huihui had a French boyfriend. It turned out that it was just a slogan bought for five euros.Hui Hui has also been to Paris!Everything that I do today, Huihui has experienced before—going to the same place with the same person, drinking the same coffee, doing the same thing, paying the same price, and buying the same comfort! Mi'er's mind seemed to be run over by a huge wheel, and the places where it passed were muddy and bloody, but the countless thoughts and memories were so clear that they could not be avoided - what became clear at the same time was the photo on Huihui's wall , the rose garden in the background of the photo - no wonder the first time I saw it, I felt familiar, that is the rose garden of Li Jia's villa! Keyi received a call from Mi'er in the early morning: "Keyi, can you ask for a few days off?" "Where did you come from?" Keyi was drowsy, "Paris? It's been more than a month, enough to go around the world. Why haven't you come back?" "I'm back, now in Hong Kong. Would you like to come to Hong Kong to meet me? During the shopping festival, the discounts are very strong." Mi'er followed the temptation, "Christmas shopping spree, at least you should give yourself some gifts? Anyway, you usually buy cosmetics It’s also an expense, and the prices here are low and honest, and you can save back the airfare just by buying cosmetics.” "That's true." Ke Yi couldn't help but think secretly, "Gu Jianbo seems to have made a big move recently, saying that he wants to start another magazine, and he doesn't know where he got the windfall. A few days ago, he asked me to go there Shenzhen, inspecting the printing factory, why don't I apply for a business trip tomorrow, and then take two days to go to Hong Kong to meet you." Mi'er admired: "This is the benefit of working women. Traveling can be reported to the public account, and it is called a business trip." "What are you doing in Hong Kong? Is Li Jia with you?" Ke Yi remembered, "I don't want to be a light bulb." "Li Jia has already returned to Shanghai. I have some things that I need to think about alone. I deliberately said that I will participate in the Christmas shopping festival, so I procrastinated in Hong Kong for two more days. Can you come and accompany me? I have something to think about." tell you." "What's so serious? If it's marriage troubles, you'd better ask Lu Yu. I've failed enough myself, but I don't have any advice for you." "It's about Huihui. I have a new discovery. It's not clear on the phone, let's talk about it when we meet." Mi'er became anxious, "Are you coming to Hong Kong? I'll just cover the board and lodging." "Come." Ke Yi readily agreed, "I'll arrange a time as soon as I get to work, but I have to take off tomorrow at the earliest." Just after booking the air ticket, Lu Yu called: "Keyi, are you going back to Xi'an on weekends? I have something to go for a few days, can I stay at your place?" Keyi counted the time and said, "I will fly to Shenzhen early tomorrow morning, and I will not be back until next Tuesday at the earliest. I will ask Teacher Qian to pick you up, and you will stay at my house first, and I will go directly back to Xi'an from Shenzhen to meet you. " "That's inconvenient. I'll stay in a hotel first." Lu Yu said, "Let's meet again when you come back." "Why are you so outrageous? You might as well save the hotel money and invite me to dinner. It's more economical. Anyway, we have a guest room, so you can live in peace. It's okay to be Professor Qian and the waiter. You're welcome." Ke Yi couldn't help but say , "That's the deal, any further hesitation is to doubt our Professor Qian's personality." Lu Yu smiled: "Okay, okay, you Professor Qian is an upright gentleman; I wonder if I can do it? I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself, and my heart is full of enthusiasm. I like your professor Qian's elegant demeanor. Okay, don't force it." It’s difficult for me, I’m the least used to dealing with my friend’s husband.” Keyi no longer insisted: "Then just let Teacher Qian pick you up, you always need a pick-up. By the way, what do you want to do when you go to Xi'an? Can I help?" "Let's talk when we meet. I will tell you everything." Lu Yu said in a low voice, "Didn't I promise that I would explain everything to you sooner or later?" "So mysterious." Ke Yi felt itchy, "What is it?" "About Tong Gang, about Huihui, and Gu Jianbo...I can't explain clearly on the phone, so let's meet and talk." Lu Yu answered Keyi, who was exactly the same as Mi'er. Just as he put down the phone, the door of the office was pushed open, and the person rushing in was Chen Yu, who said annoyedly, "Ke Yi, you have to help me!" "You didn't even knock on the door." Ke Yi half-jokingly said, "You ladylike young woman is becoming less and less graceful." "I can't wait to knock on the door." Chen Yu sat down and said with a long sigh, "Long Dongdong has come to Beijing, and now he is waiting for me in the hotel." "Okay, you should be happy to meet your lover again. After you came back from Dunhuang, haven't you been talking about him?" Ke Yi was surprised, "Long Dongdong is waiting for you, why are you still running here?" "But he came to force the marriage." "what?" Chen Yu hesitated: "When we broke up in Lanzhou, I promised him to go through the divorce procedures when he came back, but..." "But you changed your mind as soon as you faced the reality, right? You love Long Dongdong, but you love the life without worrying about food and clothing more, you love your marriage and family that you have worked hard for thirteen years, and you love the identity of Director Ma's wife even more. ,right?" "Of course not. I'm a mother, and I have twins to take care of." Chen Yu argued, "I can't lose my son for love." "What a high-sounding reason!" Ke Yi sarcastically said, "How beautiful, how touching, how eloquent, pitiful and respectable, what a great mother!" Chen Yu was displeased: "I'm telling the truth, should I abandon my son?" Keyi unceremoniously broke it down: "No one will doubt that you are telling the truth. The twin sons are your darlings and cannot be separated. They are indeed a sufficient reason, but they are not the only reason. It is just that you can It is the most grandiose excuse that is put on the table, the most primitive, but the most powerful, and the most worthy of forgiveness. However, you will not admit all this to anyone, even you will lie to yourself. Let you betray love with peace of mind." "Are you going to put me under a microscope for dissection?" Chen Yu became annoyed, "Friends are not for taking advantage of the fire." 可意也自觉过分，缓和了语气说：“好吧，朋友是用来当垃圾筒和灭火器的，说吧，你想要我做什么？” “替我去见龙冬冬。” “这不可能。”可意腾地站起来，“你太异想天开了！你自己承诺他要离婚的，却叫我去做说客说你反悔了，这种恶人，我才不要做，也没法做，你让我说什么呢？” “就说我有苦衷呀，说我也是不得已才这么做的，我是真心爱他的，这么多年来，我第一次动真感情就是为他，在毛乌素的时候，我真希望可以和他一辈子在一起，我说要为他离婚，是真心的。如果生命可以重来，我愿意跟他在一起；如果人有下辈子，我也愿意跟他在一起。我已经不能再爱我的丈夫，也不能爱任何人像爱龙冬冬那样。这是我一生中最值得珍惜的一段爱情，可是我不得不放弃它。”陈玉说着说着动了真情，“可意，你一直理智又克制，你从不放纵感情或是欲望，你不会原谅我，也不会理解我。但是我告诉你，即使明知道结果，如果时间重来一次，我还是会选择和他相爱，然后再选择将他背叛。这是性格，也是命运。你是不会明白的。” “我明白。”可意忽然叹息了，“每个女人的心里都同时隐藏着天使和魔鬼两种化身，我有时候非常希望自己可以不管任何约束规则，只做自己想做愿意做的事，放纵一回，也快意一回。我的名字叫可意，可是我从来没有真正顺从过自己的心意。婚姻如同鸡肋，但我不能舍弃它；工作已成嚼蜡，我同样不能辞职。你、陆雨、咪儿，你们每个人活得都比我精彩，比我任性，这就是我愿意和你们做朋友的缘故，因为我羡慕像你们那样生活。” “可是你一直在批评我们……”陈玉有些口吃，一时承受不住可意这样的表白。 可意说：“我批评，是因为我自己做不到。人们对自己做不到的事物总是心怀恐惧，于是要用否定的姿态来为自己开脱。”说到这里，她忽然狡黠地一笑，“使用藉口来自我美饰并不是你一个人的专利啊。” 陈玉不好意思：“也不全是伪饰。我的双胞胎儿子可是真实存在。我想没有任何母亲可以抛弃这么可爱的孩子，只为了一场海市蜃楼的爱情吧？”她从古琦的包里取出那幅瞬息万变的沙画来，演示给可意看。“多么美丽，可是不长久，不真实。这世上什么都是假的，暂时的，只有孩子是最真实的，不容回避的。就算有一天我死了，挫骨扬灰，回魂夜里最牵挂的，也还是我两个孩子。” “那么龙冬冬呢？你刚才口口声声说真的爱他，难道那是假的？” “那当然是真的，一瞬间的真实，但不永恒。就像这幅沙画，无论它堆出什么样的美景来，都不能长久。”陈玉将沙画翻倒在桌上，一字一句地说出她的至理名言：“爱情，就是建筑在沙画上的海市蜃楼。” 可意拿起沙画端详：“你要我把它还给龙冬冬？” “你真聪明。”陈玉点点头，不知是对可意还是对自己说：“原谅我，我没有慧慧那么决绝，她可以抛下刚出生的孩子去死，而我，却必须为了我两个孩子好好活着。” 提到张晓慧，可意不禁默然，两天里，这已经是第三次听到慧慧的名字，她有一种感觉，真相，可能很快就要浮出水面了。 同龙冬冬的见面比可意想像中的简单，她本来以为自己要扮演一个安慰天使的角色，去面对一个哭哭啼啼的伤心男生。然而她见到的，却是一个阳光、洒脱、虽然稚气却举止沉稳的英俊青年，他非常明白自己在做什么。 在电话里预约见面地点的时候，龙冬冬便出人意料地提出：“岳小姐，可不可以请你陪我去一个地方？” “去哪里？”可意原想不是茶楼就是饭店。 然而龙冬冬却说：“我带了一点心意想捐给孤儿院，可是那里不能随便进出，也不会随便接受捐助，除非有媒体的介绍信。所以……” “我这就打电话预约。”可意干脆地说，“你等我电话，我们在孤儿院门口见。” 在孤儿院里陪孩子们做游戏的时候，可意不住地感慨，难怪陈玉，难怪陈玉。 她终于明白也终于完全地原谅了陈玉，爱上龙冬冬的确不是一件难以理解的事，他如此年青、真诚、英气逼人，有着现时代罕见的正气和纯善。陈玉的生活里除了丈夫和双胞胎就乏善足陈，家庭给了她貌似富足的生活，然而她的浪漫幻想、她的情感丰富无可托付，只有寄望于一次又一次的旅游艳遇。她遇到了龙冬冬，他那么天真、热情，把幻想当现实，把瞬间当永恒，一旦动了真情就要开花结果，一方面这令她觉得为难，另一面她又怎能不感动？ 可意了解这些，是因为她自己也在渴望激情，真正的激情。然而，她今天的使命，却是要做成一盆冷水，浇熄龙冬冬的热情。 坐在石凳上，可意拿出沙画交给龙冬冬：“陈玉让我转交你，或者，你愿意把它也捐出来？” “不，这是我送给陈玉的，送出去的东西，不可以再收回。”龙冬冬憨厚地笑，英俊的脸上并没有受伤的表情。 惊讶的反是可意：“你不问陈玉还说过些什么？” “她还我沙画，就已经是回答了。”龙冬冬低下头，“我早知道是这样的答案。她离开兰州后再也没有联系过我，我就知道她又一次离开了。我想告诉她也告诉自己：离开了，就不要再回来了。我不想再失望第三次。” “那你又来找她？” “我怕我不来，会忍不住要等她。”龙冬冬的声音低沉得像洞箫，“我控制不了自己等她的念头，想让自己绝望，就不如主动来找她，她不见我，我的等待就有结果了，就不用再一直等下去了。” 可意惊讶极了，她没有想到这个看似纯真的大男孩竟会说出这样富有哲理的话，也许，只有这样纯善的少年，才可以看穿爱情的真谛。她忍不住说：“我替陈玉向你道歉。” “没什么可道歉的。她也有难言之隐。” “是的，她有家庭，有孩子，是一对很可爱的双胞胎……”可意说到这里，忽然明白过来，“你坚持要亲自来孤儿院捐助，是为了让自己了解陈玉的苦衷？” 龙冬冬惊讶地抬起头看着可意：“你真是聪明。” 可意看向那些嬉戏的孩子，苦笑说：“其实，就算陈玉离开家，她的孩子也不会变成孤儿的。” “我知道。可是，没妈的孩子像棵草。我就是想让自己看看这些孩子，然后就会心平气和，从心里真正体谅陈玉。那么，就算她愿意屡行诺言跟我走，我也不会答应让她抛弃孩子的。她可以是别人的妻子，也可以是我的妻子；但她同时是孩子的母亲，那她就永远是那对孩子的母亲，不能替代。” 可意感动极了，这个大男孩简直如同一颗宝石，每一面都如此晶莹透剔，他的声音宛如天籁，每句话都似纶音，说着世界的真理。面对这大男孩，她觉得自己笔下所有的男主人公都显得空洞软弱，徒有虚表。她不禁叹息：“有本书叫作《生命不可承受之轻》，可是看到孩子，却是看到了不可承受之重的生命本身。面对这些生命，人生的确有很多事情非得已，很多责任只要承担就要背负一生，不容推卸。” 龙冬冬问：“你有孩子吗？” “没有。因为我觉得自己还没有承担的能力。” “如果有一天你做了母亲，那一定是最好的母亲。”龙冬冬预言一样地说。 可意微笑：“为什么这么肯定？” “因为你尊重生命。” “你太善良了，所以会给出这么宽容的理由。”可意苦笑，“但是也许，我只不过比别人更胆小，更自私，更不敢承担而已。” 龙冬冬摇头不信，他的眼睛中忽然掠过一丝稚气的迷茫：“岳小姐，你是作家，写过许多爱情故事。我想问你，你相信你笔下的爱情吗？” “我信。世界上没有完全虚构的东西，爱情和灵魂一样，都是看不见但却一定存在的东西。” “那么，世界上，到底有没有专一的爱情呢？” “有，但不可永恒。”可意说，“时间，是爱情的死敌，好比浪淘沙，终究会将所有的棱角磨平。所谓美满伉俪，不过是抛光的效果而已。” “可是，既然爱情是存在的，永恒就很可能也同样存在，你不是说，世上没有完全虚构的东西吗？那么'永恒的爱情'这个词，也一定是真实存在的。” 可意悚然动容，这个青年，固执地愿意相信一切美好的概念，却并不偏执于拥有。一方面，他如此真诚无私地爱着陈玉，另一面，他却可以让自己毫不为难地放弃这爱情。虽然陈玉背叛了他们爱的誓言与承诺，他却仍不气馁，坚持相信爱情的存在，永恒的存在。 这样的青年，本身就是一种不可能，是最虚幻的，应该存在于理想世界中、文学作品里。然而现在，他活生生地站在可意面前，让她相信，这样美好纯粹的人是存在的，这样美好坚定的信念是存在的，那么，又有什么理由怀疑永恒爱情的存在呢？ 可意正想再往下探讨这个问题，孤儿院院长走了过来：“岳记者，对不起让你久等了，现在可以采访了。” 整个关于孤儿院的采访中，可意都在怀抱着一种饱满而感动的情绪中进行的，这使她笔下行云流水，几乎是一边采访就一边完成了写作初稿。她在空白处写着：这些孩子，为着各种各样的原因失去了父母，沦为弃儿，孤独沧桑地长大。然而，人世间，谁又不是上帝遗落红尘的弃儿呢？ 院长见记者笔走如飞，泪光莹莹，也说得十分起劲，并且拿出孤儿院数十年的相册来一一解说。在一届又一届的孤儿合影中，可意几乎是凭借着某种本能或是灵犀，一眼扫到一个熟悉的影子——那样小小的一张脸，那样瘦瘦的身子，那样模糊的影像，可是她还是清晰地认定了，那是张晓慧！ “院长，这个女孩是不是叫张晓慧？”可意失声问，“我只知道慧慧是孤儿院长大的，却从没问过是哪家孤儿院，原来她早就在北京生活过。” 院长戴上老花眼镜仔细地辨认着，却仍不能肯定：“我得查查花名册才知道。” “院长，请你一定确定。这个是我的朋友，她在半年前自杀了，留下一个孩子，也失踪了，我们一直都在调查她的死因，也在查那孩子的下落，我想知道，她还有什么别的亲人没有。”可意几乎哽咽了。 院长忙忙安慰：“我这就查，现在就找，你别急，千万别哭。” 哭的是陈玉。晚上，可意和陈玉约在咖啡馆见面，陈玉一看到沙画就哭了：“他不肯收回？” “他说，送出去的东西，就再也收不回来。”可意轻轻补充，“包括感情。” “可意，你是不是觉得我无耻？” “不是的。”可意轻拍陈玉的手背，“人非草木，孰能无情。我羡慕你曾经遇到过一个值得爱的人，和一段值得记忆终生的感情。” 陈玉不哭了：“你真的这样认为？你不怪我红杏出墙？” “除了马局长，没人有资格评判你。” “老马？哼！”陈玉用鼻子说话，“没有离婚，是我们对彼此的最大让步。” 也许对很多夫妻来说，维持婚姻都是他们对家庭做出的最大贡献。 然而这句厌世疾俗的话由陈玉说出来，便多少有种惊世骇俗的味道。因为她一向是那么热衷于自己的家庭，如果连她也对婚姻表示厌倦，那么真不知道这世上还有什么人会觉得幸福。 她一向是喜欢粉饰太平的，在她的眼中心中，她的婚姻是完美的，儿子是完美的，家庭是完美的，她自己才貌双全，能文能武，当然更是完美的。然而现实逼得她清醒，清醒地面对虚伪的婚姻，虚幻的爱情，还有虚浅的她自己。从今往后，她将再也不能理直气壮地沉迷于自己永远高人一头的优越感，并且对有可能的艳遇失去盼望——因为她这一生中最完美的事情莫过于曾经遭遇龙冬冬的爱，而冬冬的完美恰好是破灭的理由，成为她人生中永远不能超越的高峰。陈玉觉得，自己的这一生已经完结了，完结得凄美而绝望。 可意不便置评，放下沙画，取出一张彩色复印相纸来：“这是我从孤儿院院长那里要来复印的，你好好看看这张脸。” “这是……慧慧？”陈玉惊讶，“天啊，亏你认得出来，这太神奇了。简直如有神助。” “也许真有神助。”可意沉思地说，“也许，是慧慧想借这张照片告诉我什么。我不知道这幅照片里到底藏着些什么玄机，但是我想，慧慧的事，很快就会真相大白了。”