Chapter 13 Chapter 12 Consummation

When writing the above words, I have already returned to China.Thinking of everything in India seems like a lifetime away. Delhi’s India Gate, the teardrop-like Taj Mahal, Varanasi’s birthstone steps, women wearing sari soaking in the Ganges River, the broken walls of Sarnath painted with gold powder, poor people receiving relief meals on the streets of Jhansi , the big-eyed girl at the wedding in the back garden of the Kejuraho Hotel, the mural of the Buddha holding the lotus in the Ajanta Caves, and the Shariputra Pagoda under the moonlight... I often think of some such fragments suddenly, like movie trailers But I can't think deeply about it. If I think about it, I think it's a dream. I feel a breeze blowing by and disappearing silently.

All kinds of yesterday, such as death yesterday; all kinds of future, such as life today. If Daxin, the true image, said, I was originally a leaf on the bodhi branch brought into the middle land by Xuanzang. I had heard the Buddha's chanting thousands of times, and I was able to use a little Buddha's shade to cultivate into an adult.Then I am just the most ordinary layman among all living beings. After all, I am not a believer, nor can I understand or see through it, and I have never thought of taking refuge. Life and death, poverty and wealth, love and hatred, gathering and parting, maybe I will never understand these causes and effects.Even if it does, it will probably take a few more centuries and a few more reincarnations to finally wake up.

And Daxin, if he is really a lotus flower in front of the Buddha seat, I believe he has more wisdom and Buddha-mindedness than me, and one day he will achieve true results. We have had such a deep relationship, so hard to find, and then finally met and separated - even if there is no relationship after all, but I believe in reincarnation, cause and effect, and everything between me and Daxin is already complete. As the woman by the Ganges said to Dursidas: "My husband is in my heart and has become one with me." The same goes for me and Da Xin.I wear a ring designed by him on my finger, and his blood flows through my body. It is he who gave me a second life. We are one, life and death are inseparable. Is there a relationship closer than this in the world?Everything I ask for, the Buddha will only give me more.

I will no longer cry because I have no one to love, because I already know who is the child who is loved by the Buddha. I even made a special trip to visit my stepfather's house, treated my mother and two sisters with different surnames to a big dinner, and left some Indian shawls as gifts. This is the first time in ten years that my two older sisters and I have lived in harmony.I don't know what kind of cause and effect makes us have such a connection in this life, but I don't want to bring the grievances to the next life.In any case, since we met, it is better to form a good relationship.

After dinner, I walked back to my residence alone and saw the moon smiling in the sky.It's a full moon, against the clear night sky like waves, it's as beautiful as a lotus flower, which is moving. So, I stood down and looked at the lotus for a long time, and smiled.