Chapter 12 Chapter Eleven: Lian's Reincarnation

Sometimes I feel that the human body is like a solar battery, obviously exhausted, but as long as there is a little sunlight, it can shine again. After figuring out the metaphor of Nalanda, I felt full of strength, and I no longer dreaded traveling long distances.And with a clear goal, we decided to take a extravagant trip and chose the most upscale air-conditioned express train.Not only are the seats comfortable and the space is spacious, but refreshments and coffee are also served during the itinerary.Moreover, the guests are mainly foreigners, and they don't have the unique body odor of the locals.

All happiness and misfortune, luxury and suffering in the world are relative.For the passengers who are crowded in the aisles of the inferior carriages, enjoying a cup of hot coffee in the high-end carriages is already the most luxurious enjoyment, and those conductors who wear uniforms and push the dining car in the aisles, Looks like an angel to me.The aroma of coffee and pastries soothed my taste buds and fatigue at the same time, and I felt warm and infinitely satisfied. But the next part of the car journey was not so easy. It was a mountain road, muddy and bumpy, as if it was deliberately contrasted with the high-level express just now, allowing people to fully experience what is a moment of heaven and a moment of hell .The car stumbled across fields, rivers, herds of cattle and sheep, scattered buildings, and a woman walking on a field stalk with a pot, all the way to the top of the mountain.

I almost thought I couldn't hold on.But the good thing is that all rides have an end.When I felt dizzy and could no longer see the scene outside the window, the car finally stopped.Nalanda has arrived. For the sake of safety, Xiao Xin specially invited a guide for us.His name is Aziz, he is a hunter, he lives in the village at the bottom of the mountain, and he is familiar with every ravine and every cave on the mountain. Although he lives at the foot of Mount Foshan, Aziz is a devout Hindu and a very traditional Sudra farmer, who stubbornly abides by all the etiquette of the caste period. When seeing Xiao Xin, he kneels down respectfully and touches him. He vamps and insists on referring to him as "Lord Sinha".He was very excited that he could be a guide for a Kshatriya master, but he didn't show much respect to me, a "foreign woman", only because his "Kshatriya master" cared about me very much. Occasionally, Aiwu and Wudi cast a strange glance at me, as if asking: What is so special about this thin, pale sick woman that a young and honorable Kshatriya could be so favored by him?

Even though we had told Aziz that the purpose of our trip was to find people rather than a pilgrimage, he insisted on leading us to the ruins of the monastery because: “This is how everyone walks here. ’ And he insisted on walking behind, on the grounds that: ‘How can I walk in front of my lord? This made Xiao Xin dumbfounded, and explained to him again and again: "We invite you to be a guide. A guide is the person who leads the way in front. You walk behind, how can you guide us?" However, although Aziz was very respectful to Xiao Xin, every time Xiao Xin opened his mouth, he would nod as if he had heard an imperial decree, but he seemed not to understand, and he continued to talk to himself and do things on his own.

I thought I was a persistent person, but when I saw Aziz, I realized that I was nothing. No matter how strong my principles are, I can't stand against the paranoid. In this way, we were entangled all the way, but we finally came to Nalanda Temple.The beautiful and prosperous holy land two thousand years ago, the place where the lotus flowers were in full bloom, is now full of rocks and walls, and is full of desolation. Only the tall Shariputra Pagoda can still vaguely see the grandeur of the year. According to legend, the first temple here was built during the Buddha's lifetime, which is destined to become a holy place in later generations.In the era of King Jieri, the prosperity of this place reached its peak, and it became a famous Buddhist school all over the world.Chinese eminent monks Xuanzang and Yijing also came here to study here successively.

However, in the twelfth century AD, when the Islamic dynasty ruled India, Muslims wreak havoc on Buddhist temples. Of course, they would not spare Nalanda.The fire burned for more than six months before it was extinguished, and more than nine million volumes of scriptures were burned. Fortunately, before the arrival of the army, the monks carried the soil all night long to bury the entire Shariputra Pagoda and disguised it as a towering mound, which saved it from catastrophe and left the only complete building in Nalanda.But this statement is also applicable to the Dazhengjue Pagoda in Bodh Gaya, which makes me wonder whether there is any element of misrepresentation or borrowing.

Shariputra is the first disciple of Sakyamuni himself, and also the wisest among all the disciples. The Buddha trusted him very much, and even asked his own son Rahura to worship him as his teacher.When the Buddha was dying, Shariputra decided to take a step ahead because he couldn't bear to see his master Nirvana.So he bid farewell to the Buddha, returned to his hometown, bid farewell to his mother who was over a hundred years old, and gave the last sermon to the younger generation and the village, and then settled in meditation in his room and entered Nirvana. When the rest of the disciples presented Shariputra's bones to the Buddha, the Buddha called all the monks and said: "Don't be sad for Shariputra's Nirvana, and don't be disappointed for the coming Buddha's Nirvana. The big tree was cut down. Before, the thick branches will be cut off first; before the treasure mountain collapses, the huge rocks will be collapsed first. Now the Nirvana of Shariputra is also like this. This is the natural order of the Dharma. You must take refuge in the Dharma, and take refuge in what I said The truth, not other tangible and colorful illusions. Now Shariputra has been liberated and free from suffering. You should do the same, abandon your ego, preach the Dharma, and look at Nirvana calmly. Going to bliss is the only meditation first effort."

However, after the Buddha's Nirvana, the disciples still couldn't fully realize it, and they couldn't just rely on the Dharma to entrust their thoughts, so they distributed the Buddha's relics and built stupas in various places to worship.As the wind grew, the relics of the ten great venerables were all preserved by building a pagoda, and later it developed to the point where every eminent monk passed away, a relic pagoda must be built.For example, in the back garden of the Big Wild Goose Pagoda in Xi'an, my country, there is a whole group of stupas. And the Shariputra Pagoda was mistaken for the "Sariputra Pagoda" by many believers who did not understand it because of its tall and majestic, which is the Buddha's relic.The Shariputra Tower is more than eighty high?Looking down from the top of the pagoda, the vast Nalanda garden can be seen at a glance. The messy maroon foundation can vaguely see the functions of the past: school building, monk's room, corridor, reflection room, library, Xiangji Kitchen... Broken walls are broken one after another, dilapidated and silent, witnessing a history of two thousand years, weathered by wars and winds and frosts.But they don't speak, and only use their existence to identify the prosperity and civilization of the past, which confirms the old splendor of "Baotai Stars, Qionglou Yuezhi".

Surrounded by mountains and dense forests, looking down from a high place, except for the surrounding dark green tropical rainforest, it is the brick-red ruin foundation, which makes the lush ones more lush and the dilapidated ones even more dilapidated, but it is still extremely spectacular. Xiao Xin and I stood on the top of the pagoda for a while, no one said a word, the setting sun was like blood, shining on the red sandstone foundation, there was an indescribable pain, as if the whole Nalanda was soaked in a sea of ​​blood.We all knew that it was impossible for Daxin to live in the scenic spot, so we got off the tower and urged Aziz to take us to the mountains.

The mountain road is rugged, the jungle is dense, unknown wild flowers are falling all over the body, and the roots of thousands of years old trees are intertwined. The branches and leaves of each other are entangled in the air to build a natural house.Due to the long-term rainwater, thick green and dark yellow fluff grew on many branches, many times thicker than itself. Looking at these trees, I can't help but feel my own insignificance and helplessness. They seem to have been rooted here since ancient times. Unless they are cut down, they will neither live nor die, and they will be with the heaven and the earth forever.If Da Xin wanted to choose such a place to meditate and settle down, he could really hide himself at any time.I even wondered if he had been sitting quietly for many years, would green branches and leaves and lichens grow on his body to become one with this mountain and these trees.

After our repeated persuasion, Aziz finally agreed to go ahead, but he leaned unnaturally, and would turn his head to greet "Dear Lord Sinha" from time to time.When he found that Master Sinha's attention was not on him at all, his movements and voice became louder. While complaining loudly, he repeatedly made the gesture of slashing down hard. Even if no one responded, he said no by himself. stop.Xiao Xin simply translated: "He is saying that this mountain is huge, and there are hundreds of caves or tree houses that can be lived in. This way of finding it is impossible." I was a little surprised at the idea that Aziz, who was as strange as a mystery, was surprisingly similar to me at this moment, and murmured: "Only in this mountain, and the clouds are deep." This ancient poem is really the best portrayal of reality at this moment. From ancient times to the present, from India to China, it turns out that people's awe of mountains has never changed. Xiao Xin said with admiration: "Your ancient Chinese poems are really powerful. It seems that no matter what you do, you can use a poem to describe it." "That's right. So, I'll teach you one more thing: You won't regret it when your belt gets wider, and you'll be haggard because of Yixiao." "And what does that mean?" "That is to say, I lost weight because I missed someone so much, but I still love him deeply, without complaint or regret." Xiao Xin repeated those two sentences for a long time, and then said with certainty: "I understand." "Really understand?" "Of course, because I am too." I'm silent.If I really owed Da Xin in the previous life, then what about Xiao Xin, did he owe me?An imperceptible and embarrassing loneliness quietly swayed in the mountains and forests at dusk, stealthily, passing Xiao Xin and also passing me.Even Aziz paused for a rare moment to talk to himself and put on a serious face. Suddenly, I felt that the whole trip to India was embarrassing. From one ruin to another, no matter whether the palace or the temple, each case was a remnant of history, and all of them were full of scars.Honor, fame, power, and belief are all illusory and incomplete in the wind and dust of the years, but the loneliness at this moment is a heavy real existence, like a shadow, moving with the twilight that is being stitched together, and gradually settling. That night, we didn't find a hotel, so we stayed in a wooden house in the middle of the mountain, which was Aziz's temporary residence when he was hunting. There were no beds or pillows in the house, only two wooden planks covered with moldy hay.Xiao Xin was very worried, but I told him that this was not the first time I had slept in the wilderness, not to mention that with a roof tile covering my head, I could not count it as sleeping in the open. We cleaned the bed, picked fresh hay to spread on it, and even picked a few wild flowers to decorate the head of the bed. Thinking about the past 20 days in India, it is really strange. Sometimes I lived in a star-rated hotel with a 30% discount from Xiaoxin’s favor card, and sometimes I was a cheap hotel with only one bed and one bed. The monastery, and tonight even lived in the hunter's hut. In fact, the same is true for the soul for the body. It lives in different hosts in different reincarnations. Xiao Xin and I were lying on the bed a step away, each looking at the roof, chatting nonchalantly, our minds were still clear, but our voices already sounded drowsy. He suddenly said: "When I was young, my elder brother and I often chatted like this." This sentence made me wake up all of a sudden.I would like to know any details related to Daxin. Ever since I expressed my love to Xiao Xin, he has been accompanying me to look for Da Xin everywhere.But we kept it secret and rarely talked about it directly.Maybe it's because of Xiao Xin's tortuous feelings towards me, or maybe it's because the one I love is a monk after all, it's hard to talk about it in any way.Therefore, for so many days, even though we have been together day and night and love brothers and sisters, we still cannot open our hearts happily. When we lived in a hotel, the two of us would stare at the TV all night without saying a word. As for what was on TV, I didn't really care at all.I guess he didn't really look into it either.But the noise in the house makes it less embarrassing for two silent people.I sometimes feel like the two of us are like those couples who have been married for many years but share different dreams, each with his own sad secret. But now we are sleeping in a temporary thatched hut, except for the sound of the night wind blowing the thatched roof, there is only each other's breathing and heartbeat. Nights like this are best for heart-to-heart talks.I looked at him, wishing he had said more. But Xiao Xin sighed and said, "Your eyes are so bright at night, just like the stars in the sky." Embarrassed, I turned around again and looked at the roof. Xiao Xin didn't speak again, after a while, he started snoring slightly. I don't know when I fell asleep myself. In the dream, there was a voice calling to me: "Nalan, Nalan." I turned over and sat up, and when I heard the mountain waves faintly, my mind went blank.I know, it's time, it's here, Da Xin is calling me. The fragrance of hay and wild flowers permeated the lungs. Xiao Xin turned over on the next bunk, making a rustling sound, but soon fell asleep again.I put on a sari, walked around his body carefully, opened the door and walked out. The moonlight is as bright as frost and snow, scattered sparsely through the dense leaves, pointing out a pilgrimage path loomingly.I ran along that road to Nalanda Monastery.The thousand-year-old trees stretched out their branches to stop me, and every time they hit me, there was a whip mark; the dead leaves piled up, stepped on my feet, and gave off a rotten sweet smell, which filled the air. An indescribable ancient mystery.I didn't care about it, I just ran as hard as I could, and the sound of my breathing echoed in the forest and became extremely loud, even the whistling mountain wind couldn't cover it up. The sky and the earth are full of my panting, as if my lungs are about to burst. Finally came to the top of the mountain.The moonlight illuminates the entire ruins brightly, washing away all the incompleteness and pain, and it is actually charming and charming. The ancient temple that has been silent for more than 800 years, the weather-beaten holy land, seems to have regained its glory two thousand years ago under the moonlight, with a kind of speechless solemnity.Every stone, every carved flower has its own life and perception, watching me passionately. The dense forest is so passionately obsessed with survival itself, inhaling carbon dioxide vigorously, exhaling fresh oxygen, and every gust of wind blows like the sound of tides.Under the moonlight, I climbed up the towering Shariputra Pagoda with hands and feet, and the mountain wind bulged the hem of my pajamas, as if to sweep me away. The moonlight dimmed when I climbed the pagoda, and there was fog in the distance. The trees were verdant and the mist was magnificent. I knew that Daxin was meditating under a certain big tree in a certain cave in the mountain.But I couldn't see him, I only heard him calling in my ear: "Nalan, Nalan, forget me." No, I don't forget, I want to be with you.Da Xin, please come out and see me, please! I exhausted all my strength and called out to the distant mountains: "Da-Xin--, Da--Xin--, Da--Xin--" Tears flowed down and were quickly dried by the mountain wind.I shouted vigorously, feeling that my strength was moving away from me inch by inch, my soul seemed to have left my body, flying high in the air, flying over mountains and rivers, wandering among the jungles and cliffs, looking for it. A thought came to my mind: If the soul can exist without the body, will my search become easier?If I become a free soul, can I stay by his side as I please, just like those undead in Sarnath, wandering around. Da Xin said: You are not drowning, you are committing suicide. No, I'm not suicidal, it's for lightness.Only when the soul is free can I search lightly; only when I find you and stay with you forever can I be fulfilled. The mountain mist is misty, and the atmosphere of the monks who lived and walked here two thousand years ago still permeates the valley. I can even hear the sound of thousands of people chanting sutras at the Unsheltered Conference. Between the shaking Buddhist bells and the surge of human heads, I saw Da Xin coming out of the crowd, wearing cassocks and walking towards me, as if he was looking up at the tower. Our eyes have traveled through two thousand years of time and space, intertwined and intertwined. Da Xin!I shouted to him, you are finally here! He stood down, opened his arms, and I jumped into his arms... I am as light and unbiased as a leaf, falling into Da Xin's arms. I finally found him. He finally responded to me. Da Xin told me that I was originally a green leaf on the bodhi tree where Sakyamuni sat and meditated under the tree, and he was a lotus flower in the pond in front of the Buddha's seat.At the moment of Buddha's epiphany, the sky and the earth shook, we looked at each other and smiled, and we were in harmony with each other, thus forming a relationship with Buddha. The momentary heartbeat turned into an eternal concern. Then, the Buddha broke off the branch and returned to Sarnath to find his companions, where he replanted a tree and separated us from then on. Later, Xuanzang came here to learn the scriptures, and he broke me again and brought me into the Tang Dynasty . For a long time, I thought I was looking for him, but Da Xin said, in fact, he was looking for me. If you practice alchemy well, you can become a fairy in five hundred years; the spirit of birds, beasts and snakes can become a demon in a thousand years; and he and I are so insignificant, but it is the fate of a lotus flower and a leaf between heaven and earth, and it takes two thousand five years to practice. It takes a hundred years and many reincarnations to transform into a human form and fly across thousands of mountains and rivers. Everything is preordained. It is destined that we will meet by fate and be accompanied by love. We live in huts in the mountains.The stream is clear, the mountain fruit is rich, and nature provides everything we need.We even opened a field on the mountainside to grow wheat.Work at sunrise and rest at sunset, as if going back to ancient times, to be the most ordinary couple in the world. The only difference is that he can still chant scriptures, and fast, not killing. When he was chanting sutras, I sat next to him and stared at him obsessively. Sometimes I doubt everything in front of me, I don’t believe that I really got him, and I will stretch out my fingers to touch his body lightly, afraid that what I see is not real.The singing of birds will be particularly pleasant at this time, as if in response to the rhythm of his chanting.Lianshan flowers will also bloom more colorfully than usual. I thought of the mural of a Bodhisattva holding a blue lotus that I saw in Ajanta Cave No. 1. Maybe Daxin is the lotus in the Buddha's hand, so he will be closer to Buddhism than me and become a son of Shishi. And I, this little leaf, left my hometown, traveled across mountains and rivers, from India to Tang Dynasty, and was finally reborn as an ordinary Chinese woman. The Buddha believed that "all living beings have Buddha-nature, and those who have Buddha-nature will become Buddhas"; The wheel does not turn constantly, so it is called reincarnation. And how rare is it for me and Daxin to reincarnate into the human realm at the same time, meet and know each other.What about the next life?Maybe he will become a heavenly man, and I will fall into hell and never meet again. I can only work hard to grasp everything in front of me, everything I can have temporarily, and cherish every second. One day, when I went to pick wild fruits in the forest, I heard a goat screaming mournfully.It was injured, and I took it back to the thatched cottage.Daxin collected herbs to treat it. From then on, we began to drink goat milk every morning. This incident inspired me, and later, I raised a few more chickens.But Da Xin refused to eat the eggs, so I gave them to the villagers down the mountain in exchange for cloth for clothes, salt and some seasonings. The four seasons in the mountains are not clear. When one kind of flower fades, another kind of flower will bloom.As the flowers bloomed and faded, the two of us gradually grew old, with gray hair growing on our heads, but he still looked so handsome and noble. We went boating in the lake full of lotus flowers and picked lotus roots.I recited a Chinese poem to him: Bow your head and get lotus seeds, lotus seeds are as clear as water.Putting the lotus in the sleeve, the lotus heart is completely red. He peeled off the lotus seeds and put them in my hands, and asked me: Do I regret meeting him in the lotus pond, regret coming to Nalanda to find him, regret leaving the prosperous world to live a poor life. I said: As long as I can be with him, I will be very happy. In fact, I often miss home, think of my mother, think of everything in the country, and think of the possibility of another life.But I have made a choice, so I can't regret it.Besides, being able to spend the rest of my life with the one I love, what else can I not let go of? However, people are born, old, sick and die, and so are we. Sadly, I was asked to watch him die first. I don't understand, it's me who is obviously weak and sick, why would he walk in front of me instead?But he was very calm, and said to me: one day earlier, one day earlier, one day sooner one day of reincarnation, that is the ultimate pursuit of all Buddhist disciples.He asked me not to think about him anymore, because he would not wait for me on the other side. This life is over, and in the next life, we will have different choices. He repeatedly asked me to agree to him, not to be too attached, and to see this side after 2,500 years of practice, I should be satisfied.Don't bring longing into the next life, and the next life, endless entanglement will only bring endless troubles and obsessions, and you will not be able to escape in eternal life. I agreed, picked up dead branches with my own hands, burned him, and sprinkled his bones into the river. I know this is not a ritual that Buddhists should have, but since he was born in a Hindu family, choosing the Ganges River as his destination may help him reach heaven earlier. A wise Brahmin poet came to me, his robe was as white and light as snow, and he said, "You are so sad, but you want to follow your husband to heaven?" I looked up blankly, feeling that this scene seemed familiar.Suddenly I remembered the sage Dulsidas in Tagore's poem, who promised the widow crying by the Ganges that he would help her find her husband within a month. The woman returned home full of hope of happiness, and Tulsidas visited her every day, prompting her with deep thoughts until her heart was filled with divine love. Before the end of January, the neighbors came to see her and asked, "Sister, have you found your husband?" The widow smiled and replied: "Yes, I found it." ’ The neighbors asked eagerly: ‘Where is he? ''My husband is in my heart and has become one with me. ' replied the woman. That is the poem I once recited to Xiao Xin.Today it becomes my portrayal. I remembered that I had dreamed that my father was taking a bath in the Ganges River, and that he came to see me in the Sarnath. Now I understand why it happened like that—since my previous life was a piece of bodhi branch brought into the Tang Dynasty by Xuanzang. leaf, so maybe the father is that branch?Now, his soul has finally returned to India with me, passed the baptism of the Ganges, and completed a perfect reincarnation in the birthplace of Bodhgaya, soaring without regret. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and my father returned to the Bodhi tree of his previous life. Perhaps, the reason why I have this trip to India is to send my father's soul back home, to find the original root of his life? As for Xiaoxin, the Indian girl I met at the wedding in Khajuraho, and many other people along the way, probably another leaf on the tree, another lotus flower in the pond, or each other A bird flying across the sky from time to time, a fish swimming in a pond, gave me silent gazes in previous lives, but I forgot the past in reincarnation. One drink and one peck, could it be predetermined.Who can tell what is the cause and what is the effect? Thinking of Xiao Xin, I suddenly heard his voice—"Scarlet, are you awake? Can you hear me?" I opened my eyes, where are the mountains and forests, where are the waters of the Ganges River, where are the Daxin and milk goats?Instead, a man in a white robe walked over, with a stethoscope hanging around his neck. It turned out to be a doctor. He bent down and opened my eyelids, ordered me to look up and down, turn my eyes, and asked me to stick out my tongue to check him, and then said with satisfaction: "She is already well, don't wait until tomorrow, she will be fine soon out of the hospital." Xiao Xin jumped up: "Great. Nalan, you finally woke up." I sat up with difficulty, looked around in a daze, and finally realized that I was in the hospital. It turned out that everything was a dream. But is that really just a dream? How real is that dream, so real that it is unforgettable!The reflection of the lake, the smell of the trees, the temperature of the goat’s milk, the sound of Daxin’s chanting, the way the lotus flower swayed in the wind, and even the touch of my robes’ folds when I was drying my cassock on the river bank. Soil, thatched huts, and cliffs are all over the place. Fangcao... all of that, so clear and sensitive, how could it be just a dream? I turned to Xiao Xin: "Why am I here?" "You fell from the Shariputra Pagoda, and my elder brother brought you here." "Your brother? Did I really find him?" I am confused again.Isn't it a dream?Did I really meet Da Xin, were we really together? "It wasn't you who found him, it was he who found you." Xiao Xin's words made me feel dazed again.Da Xin also said this sentence in his dream. I spread out my palm, there was clearly a lotus seed there. Xiao Xin also said that that night, when I fell from the Sheflet Tower, I happened to meet Da Xin who was going to pay homage to the tower in the quiet night.So Daxin sent me to the hospital and gave me a blood transfusion.He asked Xiao Xin to tell me: Fate is bound, don't be too persistent. "Endless entanglement will only bring endless troubles and obsessions, and there will be no escape in eternal life." I murmured. Xiao Xin was surprised: "How do you know? Are you not completely unconscious, can you hear?" "He told me in a dream." "Dream?" Xiao Xin didn't know why, "After he finished your blood transfusion, he sat beside you for a long time. I went out to buy him food, and when I came back, I saw him holding your hand and chanting scriptures. Maybe, it was told you then?" When I was unconscious, he once held my hand and sat by my side to wait! My heart throbbed warmly, and tears filled my eyelashes.Thinking of the blood of Daxin flowing in my body at this moment, I suddenly felt extremely fulfilled. Xiao Xin went on to say: "I tried to persuade elder brother to wait for you to wake up before leaving, but he refused, he said, you will understand." "Yes, I understand." I know.Because I've been through it, I've had it. I have experienced everything in my dream, and I have gone through a whole life—a life of being in love with Da Xin. Zhuang Zhou dreamed of a butterfly, not knowing whether he was Zhuang Zhou or a butterfly.And I can't know whether my karma with Daxin is real or a dream? If falling in love is a dream, then what is my feeling for him in the real world?Is it the continuation of the dream, or the beginning, or another dream? If the dream is true, then I've got everything I want, maybe it's a previous life, maybe it's a next life, maybe it's another world than the one I know, but whatever, if I feel like it's happiness , I am happy.Because of that reincarnation, I have gone through it. I finally let go. The Buddha's verse said: "A flower is a world, a sand is a heaven, hold infinity in your hand, and a moment becomes eternity." What is the difference between a day and a lifetime?I've got the best moment, and I've got eternal happiness.What more could one wish for?