Chapter 10 Chapter Ten Did You Ever Love Me?
During the Spring Festival, there are four red lanterns hanging on the gate of No. 1 Middle School, with the words "Happy Spring Festival" written on them, which looks very happy.
The uncle in the duty room still remembered Mu Jingyan, after all, he was a talented student who was admitted to a prestigious school back then.But in a few years, the wrinkles on Grandpa's face became deeper and his hair became more gray.
Ruo Lin couldn't help lamenting the ruthlessness of time.
Time flies by, never considering the will of man.
As time goes by, the only good thing is that memories seem so precious and beautiful.
Disappearing people and things settle down with the passage of time, filter out all unpleasantness, and the rest is sweetness.
Unknowingly, the two walked to the school corridor, they both stopped at the same time and sat in the corridor. The top of the corridor is covered with withered and yellow vines. Ruolin still remembers that she liked to come here for morning reading when she was in high school. She likes the environment here. In spring and summer, the plants here will be quite lush, especially the vines that climb the white corridor. The green vines are tangled and twisted, like a girl's meticulous thoughts.She also likes to sit at this end of the corridor and look at Mu Jingyan who is sitting on the other side.She pretended to be reciting the book seriously, but her eyes always wandered to Mu Jingyan inadvertently. She thought that he had never paid attention to her, and she thought that her crush in high school was a cup of bitter wine, a one-man show, an incomplete but memorable young love.Little did he know, she was also placed in his heart by him. Although the temperature is not high, the afternoon sun shines through the gaps in the corridor, so it doesn't feel too cold. The two sat side by side and didn't speak for a long time. "Ruolin..." Mu Jingyan broke the silence. "Huh?" Ruo Lin looked up at him. There was an emotion called gentleness circulating in Mu Jingyan's eyes, which made his eyes extraordinarily bright.Ruolin didn't dare to look at such eyes, she quickly lowered her head. "Did you really like me before?" Mu Jingyan asked. "Yes." Ruolin replied in a low voice. "I don't know when I started to like you, maybe it started when I thought you were special when I started school, or maybe it was a day when I was a classmate." Mu Jingyan fell into the memory, " At that time, the homework was very stressful, and every day everyone was chanting 'the test is the magic weapon of the teacher; My expectations surpass everything. I can only force myself to bury my special feelings for you in my heart. I originally wanted to reveal my heart to you after the college entrance examination, but considering that you may encounter more serious problems when you go to university Good boy, and we are studying in different cities. Even if we fall in love, we still get together less and leave more. This will make both of us endure the torment of missing. So I gave up. I said to myself, go to the university to find Let’s fall in love, maybe I will meet a better girl than you. When I was in college, it’s not that there were no girls who took the initiative to express their feelings to me, but they just didn’t like her and would compare her with you. So until I graduated from college, I I’ve never been in a relationship before.” Mu Jingyan said all this in one breath and then asked Ruolin, “Am I stupid for doing this? Should I confess my love to you after the college entrance examination?” "I'm as stupid as you." Ruo Lin's voice was very soft, as if she was sighing, "I also formed a kind of obsession with you before, and I always felt that all the boys couldn't compare with you. That's why I was with you after graduation. Similarly, the love history is also blank.” "We are all persistent people..." Mu Jingyan smiled. "No, at least I'm not. After meeting Han Haoxuan, I became less persistent, and my liking for you is not as firm as before..." Ruo Lin couldn't help but think of Han Haoxuan again.The time with him was not too long, but every little bit of being with him had been baked into her life, which she could never forget. "I regret it." "What do you regret?" "I regret not confessing to you earlier. If I confess now, is there still time?" Mu Jingyan looked at Ruolin expectantly. Ruolin didn't look at him, didn't speak, just sighed and shook her head slightly. "You still love him, right?" Mu Jingyan asked. Ruo Lin hesitated for a moment, then nodded heavily. "Since you still love him, go tell him, don't keep it in your heart. Otherwise, like me, you will miss a fate, what a pity!" When Mu Jingyan said this, his heart was in pain.Loving someone is hard, but being with someone else is even harder. "When two people are together, not only love can solve it, but also many other things, such as trust, such as sincerity. There are too many things between me and him. I will feel tired when I am with him." "Are you tired of being with me?" "Not tired." Ruolin said truthfully. "Then stay with me, and I will make you happy." After saying that, Mu Jingyan stretched out his right arm and wrapped it around Ruolin's shoulder. Ruolin smiled, and moved his hand away: "Pay attention to your personal image in school, after all, you are still a former Fengyun senior." "I'm serious. Ruolin, if you love him now, but you don't want to be with him, then stay with me. I will wait for you, until you forget him. No, you can't forget him." It doesn't matter if you fall. As long as I can be with you." Mu Jingyan said foolishly. "Why bother? Amu. There are many girls who are better than me. You should broaden your horizons and don't focus on me alone." Ruo Lin stood up and rubbed her hands to warm herself up. Mu Jingyan also stood up afterward. He grabbed Ruolin's hand and placed it in his generous and warm palm: "Isn't this cold?" Ruolin wanted to take out her hand, but Mu Jingyan held it tighter: "Accept me, please, just look for a pair of gloves for yourself, can't you just find a heater?" "Hehe, you are more useful than gloves and a stove. Let me go, or I will get angry." Mu Jingyan reluctantly let go of her slightly cold hand. "Here you are." Mu Jingyan stuffed a glass bottle filled with colorful paper cranes into Ruo Lin's hand. "What is this?" Ruo Lin looked suspiciously at the glass bottle. "Your birthday present, I wanted to give it to you last time on your birthday..." "Thank you." After Ruo Lin finished speaking, she looked at the present carefully, and felt that it looked so familiar, and then remembered that she had folded a thousand paper cranes and put them into a glass bottle to give to Mu Jingyan as a birthday present in her third year of high school.However, he didn't come to the appointment that day, so her gift has not been sent out, and she is still at home now. She couldn't help lamenting the reincarnation of the world and the twists and turns. "However, sending a thousand paper cranes is an ancient way of giving gifts. Why did you think of giving me this?" Ruolin asked. After Mu Jingyan told Ruolin the reason, Ruolin laughed loudly: "You really are a typical nerd! Folding a lot of paper cranes is of course for my sweetheart, you think I like that stuff for no reason when I'm full. Son." "Then you folded it for me?" Mu Jingyan's reaction this time can be said to be very quick. Ruolin didn't deny it. "Can you give me the gift you prepared for me back then?" Even if she doesn't love him now, at least keep the evidence that she once loved him. "The opportunity is never to be missed, the time will never come again. How long has passed, the gift has long since disappeared." Of course it's not that the gift is not there, but that Ruo Lin doesn't plan to give him the birthday present that she prepared for him back then.What a wonderful thing it would be if the thousand paper cranes he gave her were put together with the thousand paper cranes she folded for him back then.It's as if the past and the present merge, and time goes backwards. "Oh." It could be seen that Mu Jingyan was a little frustrated. "I'll give you a better present for your birthday in the future." Ruolin comforted him. "The meaning is different." He sighed softly. "Don't do this, Amu. You can find a better girl..." Ruolin tried to persuade him to forget about herself. "Let's talk..." Mu Jingyan hastily interrupted her. For a moment, the two became speechless. As ordinary friends, they talk about almost everything. However, once it comes to love, it will appear a little awkward. The best time to confess is missed, who can blame it?
The two walked around the school again, and then Mu Jingyan sent Ruo Lin home. "By the way, Amu, I remembered that I have to visit a friend today. Her home is nearby. You should stop at the intersection in front of you." On the way, Ruolin saw a pharmacy, so she found an excuse to let her Mu Jingyan stopped the car. After Mu Jingyan's car drove away, Ruo Lin walked into the pharmacy. "Miss, what do you need?" the clerk asked enthusiastically. "Early pregnancy test paper." Although it was a bit difficult to say, Ruolin still said it.
The test result of the early pregnancy test paper was positive! Ruolin was honored to win the lottery, but she was not happy at all. They broke up, but they are pregnant with his child, God, you are so good at teasing people!Ruo Lin almost looked up to the sky and sighed. She has been with Han Haoxuan for so long, every time he is very careful, every time he is very gentle, every time he takes protective measures, but only that time... That time he pressed her on the bed like crazy , invaded her despite her objections.But it was that time that made her pregnant with his child! It is said that a child is the crystallization of love, but this child was not born of love, but because of jealousy! Do you want to keep this child born of Han Haoxuan's jealousy?To keep this child, always remind yourself, has Han Haoxuan ever disrespected her?Staying is a pain, and she will have a more difficult life in the future.But if she didn't stay, she would be a little bit reluctant.After all, it is a developing life!In any case, the child is innocent after all.
Later, Ruolin quietly went to the hospital for an examination, and the doctor confirmed that she was pregnant for more than a month. She did not disclose the pregnancy to anyone, including Mu Jingyan. Ruolin sometimes wonders if staying with Mu Jingyan would be a better choice, after all, she has already broken up with Han Haoxuan, so there is no need to live in memories.Moreover, Mu Jingyan treats her very well, and she is also a high school classmate. Everyone knows everything and is easy to get along with. If you marry him, he must be a model husband that everyone envies: a successful career, gentle and considerate, affectionate and dedicated.In this materialistic world, how many people can keep a pure love like Mu Jingyan for several years? If it wasn't for Han Haoxuan's intervention, she should be staying and flying with Mu Jingyan by now, right? If there is no child in her belly, maybe Ruolin will seriously consider Mu Jingyan's suggestion. "Then stay with me, and I will make you happy." Saying such words from the mouth of a man who had been secretly in love for several years was not without emotion. It has been said that happiness is a woman's greatest cause. A man who is willing to promise a woman's happiness is at least serious. Ruolin remembered that Han Haoxuan might have promised her happiness, it was her birthday, he whispered in her ear: "I will make you happy, but you must be faithful to me." He promised, but there was a "but" in the words.Promises are most afraid of twists and turns. This shows that what is lacking between them is trust in each other.So his promise will not be fulfilled. Ruolin stroked her lower abdomen while thinking, and said softly: "Baby, maybe your life is bad, you shouldn't have come into this world. I don't want you to become a child without a father. My father I left us very early, I had a hard life. I don't want you to have a hard life. And with my mother's financial ability, I can't support you at all. So, I'm sorry." Tears rolled down her cheeks quietly, falling to There is a slight chill in the neck.
After returning to City D, Ruolin found that the diary she wrote in high school was missing.That book records all her secret feelings for Mu Jingyan, which is very important to her. Wang Mengmeng's wedding banquet, Mu Jingyan's confession, returning to her alma mater, and going home during the Chinese New Year made Ruolin want to relive the old days, but the book disappeared!
She had the impression that the diary was placed in the left drawer, did she remember it wrong? Ruolin was not reconciled, she ransacked the box and cabinet, almost turned the house upside down, and found no diary. Ruolin suddenly remembered that Han Haoxuan came to her place not long before the Spring Festival, did he see it?And then it was taken by the guy who likes to be jealous the most?Or was it destroyed? Ruolin didn't dare to continue thinking.She knew how strong Han Haoxuan's jealousy was, and she also knew how terrible Han Haoxuan was when he was jealous. Originally, I didn't want to have anything to do with him, but now I had to contact him to ask about the whereabouts of the diary.
Ruolin knew that this kind of thing couldn't be explained clearly on the phone, and with Han Haoxuan's ability to open his eyes and tell lies, he definitely wouldn't admit that the disappearance of the diary was related to him from the very beginning. So she planned to ask him out to meet.Unexpectedly, the phone was dialed, but it was transferred directly to the secretary's desk: "Hi, hello, I'm Mr. Han's secretary Zhang Qin. Mr. Han is in a meeting right now. Please leave a message if you have anything to do." "I'm Shen Ruolin..." "Oh, it's Ms. Shen." As soon as Ruo Lin reported her name, Zhang Qin's tone immediately softened a bit, and then hesitated, "I don't know if I should say something or not." "Go ahead." "Didn't you and Han always quarrel recently? I always feel that his expression is not right." Zhang Qin's gossip talent came into play again. "This kind of thing is not something you should care about, right?" Ruo Lin replied coldly, "Please let him finish the meeting and call me back. Goodbye." Without waiting for Zhang Qin to say another word, Ruo Lin hung up Cut off the phone.
Ruo Lin called herself?Did you hear me right?Han Haoxuan never thought that Ruolin would find him. He was a little overjoyed.Did she figure it out and decide to get back together with herself? Han Haoxuan hastily dialed Ruolin's number. "Ruolin, did you just look for me?" Han Haoxuan's voice could not conceal the surprise. "Well. I just want to ask you when you will be free. There is something I must ask you face to face." Ruolin said flatly.In fact, when she heard his voice coming from the other end of the phone, she felt as if an electric current surged through her heart.His voice was so familiar, so she missed it.It turned out that she had never really managed to forget him, never. "I'm free anytime, you see what time is convenient for you." Ruolin looked at the time and said, "Just today, around five o'clock. Where can I meet you?" "Let's go to 'Jiangnan Water Town'." Han Haoxuan knew that Ruolin liked Huaiyang cuisine, and they were regular customers there before. "Okay." Short answer. "Are you at work? I'll pick you up." "No need, I can go there by myself." After finishing speaking, Ruolin hung up the phone.
Han Haoxuan arrived at "Jiangnan Water Town" before 4:30, and asked his secretary to book a small private room in advance. He only needs to report "Mr. Han", and the welcoming lady will take him to the corresponding private room. It's not the peak dining season, and the restaurant is quieter than usual. Han Haoxuan unconsciously took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, took out a cigarette, and was about to light it, when he suddenly remembered that Ruolin didn't like the smell of cigarettes, so he put the cigarette back. "Sir, do you need some tea and drinks first?" The enthusiastic waiter came over and asked.Maybe it's a new waiter. I haven't seen Han Haoxuan before, so I can't help but linger on his handsome face for a few seconds longer. "Thank you, I'll call you later." Han Haoxuan replied politely.
After waiting for a long time, Han Haoxuan heard footsteps coming from the corridor.The sound of footsteps from far to near became more and more familiar. It's her! He actually became nervous for the first time, a little restless. He told himself to be calm, to be calm.They broke up, he wanted to save her but didn't give him a chance, why should he care about her?She might have already lived a sweet life with Mu Jingyan. When the sound of footsteps reached the door, Han Haoxuan raised his head quickly, and the face that made him think about it day and night came into view.She was a little thinner than before, and her face looked a little tired.He should have gloated and thought, didn't you say that being with Mu Jingyan is happier than me?Why doesn't it look like that.But in fact, he didn't feel anything other than caring for her.
"You're here." Waiting for Ruolin to sit down opposite Han Haoxuan, he said. "Hmm." She said softly, as if in a low voice. "You've lost weight." "You've lost weight."—in unison.Not one second earlier, nor one second late. The originally silent atmosphere suddenly became a little more active, and the two of them smiled at the same time.
Every time I came here before, Han Haoxuan ordered food, and this habit has continued.This time it was still Han Haoxuan who ordered, and what he ordered was Ruolin's favorite dishes. When he was ordering, Ruolin opened her mouth several times, wanting to change to other dishes.But afraid that he might have doubts, he didn't say anything after all. Her stomach is very picky about dishes now, and all greasy dishes can't enter her mouth.But is there any reason to tell him not to order these her usual favorite dishes?Could she tell him it was because she was pregnant?cannot!Because she has already decided not to have this child.What if he found out and wanted her to stay.Never let him know.
Ruolin was afraid that they would quarrel over the diary, so she planned to ask him after dinner. "How have you been recently?" Seeing Ruo Lin eating in silence, Han Haoxuan began to ask. "It's good." He must want to hear her say "not good", right?Of course she wouldn't let him. "That's good. Eat more." Han Haoxuan put the fish that Ruolin usually likes to eat into her bowl, "You are so skinny, your family's Amu doesn't love you, my ex-boyfriend looks strange Distressed." No matter how you listen to the next sentence, there is a sense of cynicism. "I..." Ruo Lin wanted to say that she hadn't actually dated Mu Jingyan, but remembering whether she had a relationship or not had nothing to do with him, she hesitated to speak. "Go on." Han Haoxuan said casually, "I am very happy to hear your good news. If you are happy, I will be happy too." hypocritical!Ruo Lin slandered. "Ouch—" Just as the fish was in the mouth, Ruolin felt sour in her mouth, and felt like vomiting again. "What's wrong with you?" Han Haoxuan asked hurriedly. "It's okay." "It's fine. But you look like you're sick, you won't be pregnant so soon, right? I haven't had your wedding wine with Mu Jingyan yet!" Han Haoxuan said solemnly. "Han Haoxuan!" Ruo Lin couldn't help it. "What's your business?" Han Haoxuan asked slowly. "Please don't involve other people in our affairs. In addition, I need to declare that I have no intention of getting married for the time being." "Oh? That's a pity. Maybe I'll treat you and Mu Jingyan to my wedding wine first." "Congratulations." Ruo Lin sneered in her heart when she didn't expect him to have a new love so soon. When did the conversation between the two of them become so polite and strange?Han Haoxuan also didn't understand why he had to lie to Ruo Lin.Obviously did not agree to Anxi's request to get back together, obviously there is no other woman around, and obviously there is only Ruolin in his heart, only her, why would he lie? Maybe he did this just to force her to tell the truth. He hoped that she would admit defeat first and tell him that she, like him, still thought of him and loved him.But she just didn't say it.
"Ouch—" There was another retch, Ruolin couldn't help it anymore, she covered her mouth and ran out. "Ruolin, what's wrong with you?" Han Haoxuan got up and followed out. Ruo Lin vomited so heartbroken in the bathroom that she almost spit out tears. After vomiting, she came to the sink, turned on the faucet, picked up a handful of water to rinse her mouth, and washed her face. She looked haggard in the mirror.She hasn't been eating well recently, so she throws up whatever she eats.She regretted agreeing to Han Haoxuan to come to the restaurant.
"Ruo Lin, what's the matter with you? Are you really alright?" Han Haoxuan hurriedly asked when he saw Ruolin coming out of the bathroom. Ruolin shook her head and replied, "It's fine." "I'll take you to the hospital. What's the matter with vomiting like this?" Han Haoxuan stretched out his hand to support Ruolin. "I can go by myself." Ruo Lin glanced at his hand, and he moved it away. "You are still the same, you like to be brave." Han Haoxuan said helplessly.
It wasn't until Han Haoxuan was about to check out after dinner that Ruo Lin began to talk about the real purpose of meeting him: "Did you see a notebook with a black cover when you went to my place last time?" "What notebook?" Han Haoxuan deliberately pretended to be confused. "A notebook I keep in a drawer, a notebook that records my private diary." "Oh, is it the book that records the deep love between you and Mu Jing?" Han Haoxuan actually expected that Ruo Lin would find him because of the diary, but he didn't expect it to be so soon, and he didn't expect that she would meet him this time just for that. A broken book! "Then you've seen it? How can you casually look through other people's things?" Ruolin was a little dissatisfied. "I'm not interested in peeping, I just saw it by accident." "The book is gone, is it hidden by you?" "Do you think it's possible for me to keep that notebook? You're not looking for me this time just because of that notebook, are you?" Han Haoxuan was really sad.Is the relationship between him and Ruolin not as good as such a book with a long history that is worthy of nostalgia? "Yes. I'm looking for you because of that book." Ruolin didn't intend to deny it either. "I accidentally splashed water on that book, and then threw it away." Han Haoxuan said calmly, as if talking about an unimportant matter. "Throw it away?" Ruo Lin stood up, staring at Han Haoxuan. "Yes, help you dispose of the garbage." Han Haoxuan knew that Ruolin was angry, but he was still able to say these words calmly. "Han Haoxuan, don't be so self-righteous. Maybe it is rubbish to you, but it is a treasure to me, a unparalleled treasure in the world! Tell me, where did you throw it? You must help me find it !" Ruolin felt that it was a memory of her childhood, and Han Haoxuan had no right to deal with it. "I've been throwing it away for so long, and the possibility of getting it back is gone. Can I just buy a new copy for you?" "Don't talk so casually, that book can't be bought. Have you ever heard that memories can be bought with money? Don't think you can do whatever you want if you have money!" Ruo Lin's voice trembled a little, her face Also flushed with excitement, "Han Haoxuan, why do you think you threw away my diary?" "Then why do you keep that book until now? You even fell in love with me, and you still keep it, and put it in such a close place. Have you ever understood my feelings?" Han Haoxuan asked her back. "Didn't you keep things related to your former girlfriend? It's a memory of a person's past, a memory that cannot be erased." "I didn't keep it. After we broke up, I didn't keep everything about Anxi, including the photos. But, Ruolin, I kept everything related to you. Do you know why?" "..." Ruo Lin was stopped by the question. "Because I care about you more! I still love you!" Han Haoxuan also stood up. He walked to her side, pulled her into his arms, and hugged her tightly, "You give me this time I'm very happy to ask me out on the phone. I don't want to quarrel with you. If you care about that book, I can only say sorry to you. Because I threw it away on impulse, and I can't get it back. You said memories It cannot be bought with money, I agree. But can you have more me and less Mu Jingyan in your memory? Is my request too much?" "..." Ruo Lin didn't know how to answer.Suddenly remembering what Han Haoxuan said just now about inviting her to a wedding drink, he glanced at Han Haoxuan's hand on her shoulder and said, "You are about to get married, please respect yourself." Han Haoxuan snorted coldly, but didn't let go: "You really believe the nonsense I just said! I won't just accept a new relationship before I sort out my own ideas. I'm not like some people who clearly like others in my heart I like it so much, but I just refuse to admit it, and I just suffocate myself to death." Ruolin could tell that the "certain people" Han Haoxuan was referring to was her.But what she didn't understand was who the "others" in the "like others" he said were.Was it about himself or Mu Jingyan?She was a little confused. "I have to go." Ruo Lin stretched out her hand to push Han Haoxuan's hand away, "Besides, I don't want to have any contact with you in the future." "You want to sever ties with me just because of a broken book? Is it okay to remain friends after breaking up?" Han Haoxuan spoke very fast, his breathing was a little short, and his chest heaved slightly due to excitement. "I'm sorry, I can't do it." Ruo Lin lowered her head, not looking at his expression.She was afraid of being soft-hearted. "You woman..." Han Haoxuan really didn't know what to say, why is she so hard-hearted? "I was wondering if you ever loved me." "We've all broken up, and there's no point in entangled in love or not. Han Haoxuan, we are all adults, and we have to be responsible for our actions. You said let me go, so you have to do what you say. There's no need to pester me." Cleared up." Ruo Lin said in a low voice, then picked up her bag, ready to leave. "But I said, if you leave and I feel happy, I will let you go. Tell me, are you happy now?" Han Haoxuan grabbed Ruolin's arm quickly. "Happiness." Ruo Lin blurted out almost without hesitation. "Look at me and say, I want you to look at me and say, your eyes won't lie." Han Haoxuan pressed Ruo Lin's shoulder, pulled her over, and faced him. Ruo Lin still didn't dare to look up at him, she didn't speak for a long time. The air seemed to freeze. Han Haoxuan stretched out his hand to lift Ruo Lin's chin, and found that there were tears in her eyes! "Are you crying?" Han Haoxuan's tone suddenly softened. "Don't force me to say what I don't want to say." Ruo Lin's tone was almost pleading.Can she be happy?She loves him, is pregnant with his child, but cannot be with him.Moreover, she and his child will completely disappear from this world in a few days, and she has already made an appointment with the doctor... Thinking of these, she couldn't help but burst into tears. Han Haoxuan picked up the napkin from the table and wiped away the tears from the corners of Ruo Lin's eyes: "I haven't seen you cry yet. Could it be that being with him is unhappy?" "Han Haoxuan, you don't understand my heart at all!" Ruo Lin dropped those words, then turned around stubbornly, trotted all the way out.She couldn't stay with him like this any longer, and she was afraid that she would throw herself into his arms and cry loudly, and everything she had done would be in vain.After finally leaving him, and finally letting Zhang Kuang's wound heal, she didn't want to make any more troubles. Han Haoxuan was stunned for a moment, then chased after him: "I'll take you back." Ruolin didn't go far, she just walked to the door of the hotel.Han Haoxuan walked over quickly and took her hand: "What do you mean by that sentence just now? Can you explain it clearly?" "It's not interesting." The night wind blew, and Ruolin woke up a lot. "Then why are you crying?" "I didn't cry, it's because my eyes hurt a little." Ruolin denied that she had cried just now. "Since you don't want to tell the reason, I won't ask. However, I hope you can always remember one thing: I hope you can live a happy life more than anyone else." Han Haoxuan said emotionally.In the night, he just looked at Ruolin so seriously, his obsidian-like eyes seemed to be shining with a strange light. At that moment, Ruolin only felt that her cheeks were burning hot, and her heart became extremely soft in an instant.She is still fascinated by his sweet words.It's been so long, why do you still have feelings for him?She scolded herself in her heart for being worthless.
On the way Han Haoxuan drove Ruolin back, the two of them remained silent, but in fact they had their own thoughts. Ruolin turned her gaze to the city covered by neon lights outside the window. There are many high-rise buildings standing beside the road, and many windows of the buildings are filled with orange light, which looks very warm. If there was a light always on for her, waiting for her, why would she choose to refuse?But who will light the warmest lamp for her?Is it Mu Jingyan, or someone she has never met?She never thought that the person who left a lamp for her was Han Haoxuan.Han Haoxuan said that he likes freedom. Not only is he domineering, he also likes to let his temper go. He usually does whatever he wants without discussing it with her at all.Even if he left a lamp for her, it wouldn't emit a warm light, it would only emit a light that was too strong and hot, and she couldn't bear that light, so it would burn.How can a love that is too strong and domineering be suitable for her?Her ideal love is not vigorous, but flat and smooth.This kind of love is easier to last.
Perhaps because the atmosphere in the car was too silent, Han Haoxuan turned on the radio, and a slightly sad music wafted from it: "It's a pity that love is not a fairy tale, and you can't rely on the prince forever. No matter how sad, there are only two words left. I can't bear to explain it to you. The happiest thing I have ever been is your angel. I can hide it while my nose is sore. Let us be like It was the last time I hugged; the happiest thing was your gesture of wishing me when you blow out the candles; it was the happiest thing to keep a place on the left side of my heart for the person I love the most..." What a fitting song.Ruolin sighed in her heart. As long as you have loved deeply, it is the happiest thing to keep a place for each other on the left side of your heart.Look, how hypocritical and hypocritical it is in the lyrics!Obviously sang so sadly and sadly, but deceived himself and others that it was "the happiest thing". Han Haoxuan may also feel that it is shameful to listen to such a sad song all the time, so he reached out and turned off the radio. The atmosphere in the car returned to silence.
"Here we are, get out of the car." Han Haoxuan stopped the car. He didn't get out of the car as usual, opened the door for her, and waited for her to get out of the car.He sat motionless in the car, his eyes were fixed on the front, his expression was very focused, and he didn't look at Ruo Lin at all. "Thank you for taking me home." Ruolin said as she got out of the car. Han Haoxuan frowned, did not speak, but took out a cigarette and lit it. The scarlet fire was very eye-catching in the night, the fire flickered between Han Haoxuan's fingers and lips, Ruolin only felt that the fire seemed to pierce her heart. "Smoking is bad for your health." Ruolin blurted out as if out of habit. "You still know how to care about my body? It seems that you don't care about me at all!" After Han Haoxuan finished speaking, he put out the cigarette. "There is one thing that I want to return to you." Ruo Lin said and took off the watch on her wrist.This is the watch that Han Haoxuan gave her on her birthday. "I lost the memories between you and Mu Jingyan, so are you going to lose the memories between me and you too?" Han Haoxuan said coldly. He glanced at the watch but didn't pick it up. I will not take back what I gave you. If you don't want it, you can just throw it away." "Although we can't be lovers now, I still want to thank you. Thank you for giving me a sweet and happy time. Although I can't cherish these times, I don't want to lose them. This watch is the witness of those times. I I return it to you in the hope that you will cherish it well." Ruolin handed the watch to Han Haoxuan. "Don't you think you are too selfish? I came to cherish this time, but you gave it back to me easily! What is the difference between you doing this and throwing away our memories?" Han Haoxuan's tone changed a little . "..." Ruolin was speechless for a moment.Is she too selfish?She just wanted to give him back something related to him. Han Haoxuan didn't speak any more, didn't even say goodbye to Ruo Lin, but turned the car around, and the car gradually left Ruo Lin's sight.
It was as if a layer of fog had covered Ruolin's eyes, and her vision gradually became blurred. A cold liquid dripped down his cheeks. Since then, there is really no intersection between them, right? Although she didn't record everything about her and Han Haoxuan in the form of a diary, all of this was deeply etched in her mind like a movie film.In fact, in her memory, Han Haoxuan's name is more profound than Mu Jingyan's. The embarrassment when she and him accidentally touched each other's lips; the heartbeat when he held her hand for the first time; the night he took her to his "paradise on earth"; he and her at the seaside Birthday spent... At this moment, memories about Han Haoxuan rushed into her brain. She still remembers the wish she made on her birthday—the wish is very simple, but she hopes to build a love fairy tale of "holding the hand of the son and growing old together" with Han Haoxuan. Nine out of ten times life is unsatisfactory, and often the simplest wish can become the most difficult luxury to realize.
The night wind was very cold, and Ruo Lin stood there alone for a long, long time. She didn't start walking back until her body was shivering from the cold.
Han Haoxuan held the steering wheel tightly and drove the car very fast. The car overtook one car after another. He is so angry today! He didn't expect that Ruo Lin would look for him for an old diary, let alone that she would give him back the birthday present he gave her! Did she ever love him?Did she put Mu Jingyan in the most important position in her heart from beginning to end, while he, Han Haoxuan, never occupied her heart? It should be like this, otherwise why didn't she contact him even once after the breakup?Why did he take the initiative to find her and she ignored him? She said that he couldn't give her a peaceful and happy life, and she also said that being with Mu Jingyan was happier than being with him, what did she think of him from the beginning to the end?Passing by?Rest station? Han Haoxuan's face was gloomy, and his thick eyebrows were furrowed. 失恋已然很痛苦，她却偏偏要在他尚未结痂的伤口撒上一把盐，这样她就会好受了吗？她的心究竟是不是肉长的？
韩皓轩并没有直接回家，而是去酒吧喝酒了。他打电话约好哥们儿秦天意一起过去。 秦天意到达酒吧的时候，韩皓轩已经喝了好几杯酒了，眼神都透着股迷离。有位打扮得□的女郎正在跟韩皓轩搭讪。 “你还得再喝一杯。你刚才输了。”那女郎不依不饶地说。 “哪有？我……没输。是你输了。”韩皓轩说。 秦天意给了那女郎一点钱，很顺利地便将她从韩皓轩身边打发走。 “我说你今天这是怎么回事啊？要是我来晚了一点，保不准你会酒后乱性什么的。酒这东西伤身体，又总误事儿，能乱喝的吗？”秦天意忍不住说了韩皓轩两句。这家伙平时自制力很强的，失恋那会儿也没见他这么自我堕落啊，今天这是怎么了？ “都分手了还知道关心我啊！原来你也是在乎我的啊！”韩皓轩说着已经将手抚上秦天意的脸了，发现不太对劲，说，“你最近太辛苦了吧，皮肤都不如以前光滑了……” “光滑个头啊！我不是你女人，我是你兄弟！”秦天意拍掉韩皓轩不老实的手，“走吧，哥们儿，我送你回家。”
第二天一早，韩皓轩还没醒来，他的手机已经铃声大作了。他以为是闹钟，眼睛都没睁，便厌嫌地去按。结果按下后，手机又响了。他又去按。刚按下又响了。 这下他明白了过来，不是闹钟的声音，是来电的声音。 他睁开蒙眬的睡眼，仔细看屏幕上显示的名字：馨语。她怎么会给自己打电话的？好像他们已经有好长时间没联系了吧，除了那次帮若琳还钱和馨语见过面之外。 “韩皓轩，你这个浑蛋！”韩皓轩刚接起电话，馨语的声音就传来了。她的声音那么大，而且一开口就这么不同寻常，让韩皓轩大吃一惊，他坐了起来，问她：“怎么了？” “怎么了？你说怎么了？你搞大了别人的肚子懂不懂得负责？你不能因为别人怀了你的孩子就把别人给甩了吧？你这个始乱终弃的恶棍！”馨语完全忘记了自己“为人师表”应该注意自己的口气。 “我搞大了别人的肚子？”韩皓轩完全是丈二和尚摸不着头脑，他最近生活一向检点，根本没有那啥生活吧！ “不要再装糊涂了。快来医院看看若琳吧。”馨语也不打算跟他绕圈子了，干脆实话实说，“她怀孕了你应该好好照顾她，而不是跟她分手。你懂不懂怀孕中的女人是最脆弱的啊？” 馨语的话如同一个惊雷，把韩皓轩炸了个结结实实。他来不及仔细思索前因后果，赶紧问了若琳所在的医院，然后穿衣下床，匆忙洗漱完毕，开车赶去医院。
要不是这次若琳突发高烧被馨语发现送进医院，馨语根本不会知道若琳已经怀孕的事情。这丫头的嘴巴也封得太严实了，出了这么大的事情也不告诉她，她都有些抱怨若琳有没有把自己当做好姐妹了。 结果若琳却一脸不开心地说：“这件事情我没打算告诉任何人，因为这个孩子与这个世界无缘。” “什么意思？”馨语不解地问。怀孩子本该是一件开心的事情，应该和好朋友分享。为什么她却老大的不高兴？ “因为我和韩皓轩分手了……” 没等若琳说完，馨语就打断了她的话：“什么？！分手了？那浑蛋怎么能这样？” “这与他没啥关系，是我提出的分手。”若琳和韩皓轩分手的事情一直没有告诉馨语，可能是馨语曾经是韩皓轩女友的缘故吧，自从馨语和韩皓轩分手以后，若琳在馨语面前几乎没提过韩皓轩。 “你以为谁主动提出分手谁受的伤害就会少一点吗？他如果没问题你会提出分手吗？问题肯定出在他身上。”这一点馨语实在太有体会了。虽然她和韩皓轩分手是她提出的，可是受害者完全是她。分手后，韩皓轩可以潇洒地恋爱，可怜的她还要找沈扬作为挡箭牌好让若琳好过一些。现如今，她不但依旧对若琳撒着谎言，而且依旧在相亲的道路上一路狂奔呢！
之后，本来就好打抱不平的馨语赶紧打电话给韩皓轩，告诉他若琳怀孕的消息。 馨语素来尊重生命，哪怕是尚在发育中的小小胚胎。所以她一向坚决反对流产，她的姐妹同事大凡怀了孕，不管是计划中的还是意料之外的，她都鼓励生下来。何况她最亲爱的姐妹若琳呢？她可不想让若琳承受流产的痛苦，也不想让若琳孕育的生命消失无迹。 馨语不可否认曾经对韩皓轩动过情，可是自从她决定退出后，就打心底希望韩皓轩能和若琳好好地在一起生活了。他们俩分手的事情她也是刚刚才知道，虽然她不知道具体的原因，但第六感告诉她肯定与韩皓轩做得不够好有关。 按理说，若琳和韩皓轩之间的事情她不应该插手，但是这次关系到若琳肚子里的孩子。她希望那孩子能够活下来，能够幸福。而幸福的孩子必须有个爸爸。所以她才会不经过若琳的同意，自作主张给韩皓轩打了电话。
韩皓轩赶到医院后，直奔若琳的病房。 到了门外，他突然有些胆怯了。昨天晚上和她吵得“天翻地覆”，这会儿见到他她会不会情绪波动呢？那样会影响到她肚子里的孩子吗？那孩子可是他和她的爱情结晶啊！ 正在犹豫间，门开了。 “傻站着干吗？进来啊。”馨语正打算出去给若琳买吃的东西，没想到韩皓轩这么快就到了。看他一脸焦急的样子，对若琳并非全然不顾啊。 “谢谢。”韩皓轩由衷地说。对于馨语能够及时通知他他很感激。 馨语没有回答，侧着身走了出去，最后留给韩皓轩一句话：“好好照顾若琳。我去买点吃的。”
病房里只剩下若琳和韩皓轩两个人。 “对不起。”韩皓轩来到若琳的床前，异常温柔地说。 自韩皓轩出现在门口之后，若琳就转过身，背对着他。从刚才韩皓轩和馨语的对话来看，韩皓轩现在能出现在这里一定和馨语打小报告有关。她知道馨语也是出于一片好意，希望她和韩皓轩能因为孩子重归于好。但是破碎的镜子不是说拼就拼起来的，破裂的感情也不是稍稍缝补就能完美无缺的。 “若琳，我错了。我不该把你珍贵的日记本撕掉，我不该随便吃醋，我更不该放你走……我知道自己错了，你原谅我吧。”韩皓轩的语气里透着十分的真诚，“如果你不能原谅我的所作所为，也请你看在我们孩子的基础上原谅我……” “你走吧，我对你无话可说。”若琳终于开口了。再听他絮絮叨叨下去，她恐怕自己要乱了阵脚。 “若琳，我们真的只能这样了吗？”韩皓轩缓缓地在床旁的椅子上坐下，眉头紧蹙，一脸痛苦无奈状，“我昨天晚上想了很多，我从来都不后悔认识你，也不后悔对你付出真心，但我唯一后悔的是当初放你走。原谅我，给我一次机会，也给你自己一次机会，这样不好吗？非要撕破脸做路人干吗呢？何况现在你还怀着我的孩子……” “不要跟我提孩子。”若琳打断他的话，“孩子你怎么来的你知道吗？你想起来了吗？那一幕我从来都不敢去回想，你平时衣冠楚楚，仪表堂堂，但是那天的你跟禽兽又有什么两样？” “对不起……那天是我失控了。我向你保证，以后再也不会发生那天的事情了。”韩皓轩几乎低声下气地说了。 “以后的事情谁都说不清楚，我也从不去想以后怎么样。但是，我很清楚的一点是，以后我的人生和你无关。”若琳也不知道自己是怎么能够将这些狠话甩出去的。她做事情从来都不喜欢拖泥带水，既然已经分手，已经从他身边撤离，那就要全身而退，开始全新的生活。她的生活，并不是少了韩皓轩就怎么样。同样，韩皓轩离开她以后也可以照样过得风生水起。他现在之所以对她还有留恋，只是暂时还没放下而已。终有一天，他会放下，就如同他放下安茜那样放下她。地球少了谁都照样转动，没有谁离不开谁这样的爱情神话。 “怎么能和我没关系呢？你肚子里的孩子是改变不了的你我之间的纽带……”韩皓轩尽量压低声音说，尽量的轻声细语。他今天来之前已经提醒了自己N遍，任若琳如何骂他，如何说他，他都不会发火，他都要温柔。所谓“不管你如何待我，我自岿然不动”。 “对不起……这个孩子我不打算留下来。”若琳终究说出口了。 “什么？！你说什么？”韩皓轩忍不住激动了。 “我说我打算把孩子打掉。”若琳清晰地重复了一遍。 “为什么？”韩皓轩大吃一惊。 “都已经分手了，留着孩子干吗啊？”若琳尽量说得平和一些，说得仿佛是一件顺理成章的事。 “分手了可以和好的。我们和好吧，若琳，我是认真的。而且这次你怀孕了，我父母肯定会接受你的。我们可以很快就举办婚礼……”韩皓轩在憧憬美好未来。 “我以前就说过，我绝对不会用怀孕这件事来逼你父母同意我俩结婚。这种手段太低级了。”若琳很快便打断他，“韩皓轩，我觉得你应该现实一点。我们之所以分手是因为我们缺乏对彼此的信任，而且家庭背景也相差悬殊。这些都会成为我们之间矛盾的引发点。这些矛盾不是一个孩子就可以解决的。我们不能在一起，孩子也不能留下。我主意已定，不会改变了。我希望你不要太偏执，你会遇到更好的女孩，你也会过上更好的生活，你也会和别人有小孩……” “偏执的人是你。”韩皓轩不想让若琳再继续说下去了，“哪一对情侣，哪一对夫妻之间没有矛盾呢？只要对彼此有爱，什么矛盾不能解决呢？孩子也是属于我的，我不允许你把他打掉。知不知道做人流在国外是犯法的？你如果把孩子打掉等于在扼杀一个小生命。所以你想打掉孩子我坚决不同意。” “这不是在国外，我的孩子我有权做任何处理，不管是留下还是打掉。”若琳坚持。 韩皓轩沉默了好一会儿，他在极力克制自己的情绪，他不能对孕妇发怒，他在挽回一段感情，他应该要具有足够的耐心。可是面对如此固执如此倔强的若琳，他该如何说服她跟他和好，如何说服她将孩子留下来呢？他前所未有地感觉到无助，一种强烈的无奈笼罩了他。 “你先好好休息，我改天再来看你。”最终，韩皓轩只好“三十六计，走为上策”。临走时只丢下一句话：“孩子一定要留下，因为那也是我的骨肉，你没有权利私自处理。”
馨语带着食物回来时，韩皓轩已经离开了。 若琳依旧侧躺在床上，背对着门。 “韩皓轩呢？”馨语问。 “走了。”若琳回答。 “哦，起来吃东西吧。”馨语有些小小的失望。她其实想就若琳怀孕的事情单独跟韩皓轩谈一次的，没想到那家伙来去匆匆，也不给她这个机会。她跟他还真是没有缘分。若是当初相亲的人是她不是若琳，结局或许完全不一样吧？她努力拂掉自己乱七八糟的想法。 若琳坐起来，接过馨语递过来的食物：“真香啊。生病最大的福利就是能让你这个千金大小姐亲自来照顾，也算不枉此生啊！馨语，谢谢你。” “你个没良心的，现在才跟我说谢谢啊。还好今天早上江淮路修路无法通行，我才会走长春路经过你那边，不然你现在估计还在家里发高烧呢！” “知道了，我的救命恩人陈馨语，您的大恩大德，我一定会没齿难忘，涌泉相报的。”若琳笑道。 “得了，报恩我没指望。我就那么点要求，你以后有啥事能不能别瞒着我啊？要不是我送你来医院，医生检查出你怀孕了，你还要瞒我到什么时候啊？”馨语对于若琳隐瞒怀孕的事情颇为不满。 “好好好，下次什么事都不瞒着你。” “对了，韩皓轩刚刚来有没有说要娶你之类的话？”馨语故作漫不经心地问。 “说了。”若琳回答。 “哎哟，姐们儿，你说话能不能别这么言简意赅啊？好歹你得说说当时的场景啊。比如说有没有跟你单膝下跪啊。” “医院可不是浪漫的地方。馨语，你和沈扬怎么不结婚啊？不老早就嚷嚷着结婚吗？”若琳迅速转移话题。 “这个嘛，我不急。而且我打算再挑挑。” “你以为选对象是选美比赛啊，别挑花眼了，要珍惜身边人，沈扬不挺好的吗？” “珍惜身边人，你还知道这句话啊！韩皓轩看上去挺在乎你的，你应该好好把握。”馨语说这句话的时候自己都感觉有些酸涩。虽然韩皓轩没有爱过她，但他们好歹曾经恋爱一场。 话题又转到了韩皓轩身上，若琳在心里苦笑。 “话说人家要娶你，你有没有答应啊？”馨语问。 "No." “若琳，我说你是不是吃错药了啊？这是多好的嫁人机会啊！奉子成婚，多么浪漫，多么具有纪念意义。”馨语觉得有些不可思议。 “我不想这样。馨语，你不知道我和他在一起要承受多大的压力。甚至，我到现在都不知道他爱的是我，还是他以前女朋友的替身。还有，他母亲也让我有点喘不过气来。一想到要融入他那样的家庭就觉得天都要塌下来一样。”爱情从来都是感性的，婚姻却需要理性。若琳也是从理性的角度考虑，觉得自己和韩皓轩始终有跨越不去的栅栏。 “母以子贵。你现在可是有孕在身，量他母亲也拿你没办法。何况你嫁给韩皓轩又不是嫁给他母亲……” “不对，我在一本叫的书里看到，嫁人不仅是嫁给一个男人，也是嫁给一个家庭。韩皓轩那样的家庭并不适合我，我能想象得到，我若是在他家生活会显得多么格格不入。” “那你是铁定心不嫁韩皓轩了？”馨语问。 “是啊。如果明知道会过得很艰难，很辛苦，为什么要去尝试呢？” “可是不尝试，你怎么知道一定会辛苦呢？而且就算你不为自己考虑，你也得为孩子考虑吧。你不嫁给他，孩子怎么办？孩子没有父亲，这对孩子来说可是一种伤害。” “我说了，孩子我不打算要。” “这点我可不同意。我还等着做干妈呢！还记得吗？以前念大学时，我们约定，谁先生了孩子就得认对方为干妈。” “记得。可是这个孩子我还是不想要。” “你不要这么执迷不悟好不好，孩子是上天赐予给你的礼物，你怎么舍得将他舍弃呢？” “馨语，我也舍不得……但是我如果要了，一是以我目前的经济能力，我养不起这个孩子；二是孩子没有父亲，会比别的孩子缺少父爱。”若琳陈述客观事实。 “这些一点儿都不是问题，你只要跟韩皓轩结婚，这两个问题便迎刃而解。我说你怎么这么不开窍呢？他到底对你做出什么了，让你就这么痛恨他啊。” “我……”对于韩皓轩强行侵占她的事情若琳实在是觉得难以启齿。 “你什么啊？” “我看到他和他以前的女朋友接吻了。”这也是原因之一，这个原因虽然听上去挺狗血的，但是好歹方便说出口一些。 “这……”馨语实在没想到韩皓轩会做出这等龌龊不堪之事，对他委实有些失望。 “现在不鼓励我跟他在一起了吧？不怂恿我把孩子生下来了吧？” “错了，孩子我还是鼓励你生下来的。因为我想当干妈啊！你养不了孩子，我帮你养。另外给孩子找个爸爸也不是问题。穆景言对你还有意思，他完全能够胜任父亲的角色。”馨语的态度立马来了个一百八十度大转弯，让若琳都差点适应不过来。也不能怨馨语，谁叫她最讨厌朝三暮四的男人呢！当初韩皓轩对她和若琳优柔寡断，磨磨叽叽的，她忍了很久实在忍不住了便提出了分手。没想到韩皓轩又开始老调重弹了。看来太帅的男人还真是靠不住啊。 “亏你想得出来，那对阿穆不公平。你别试图劝我了，孩子我不打算要。” “不行，你得要。人流对身体的摧残很大的，我可不想让你遭受那份罪。” “那只是短暂的痛。如果生下来我才要遭受无尽的摧残呢！把一个孩子从小到大拉扯大多不容易啊。我可不想重蹈我妈的覆辙，我妈太辛苦了。”若琳一直心疼妈妈，妈妈把她和妹妹抚养大太不容易了，她不想重复妈妈的人生。 “唉——”馨语长叹一口气，“好吧，你要是坚持，我也没办法。就是觉得你是我身边第一个流产的好朋友，感觉很难过。让我跟小孩说几句话吧。”说着馨语俯下身，把脸贴着若琳的肚子，“小宝贝儿，我是你干妈。你好吗？记住干妈很爱你。很遗憾你不能来到这个世界上，当然这都要怪你那花心的爸爸和狠心的妈妈……” “馨语，你不要说了。”已经有眼泪在若琳眼中打转了，她实在没办法再听下去了。 “嗯。”馨语抬起头，认真地对若琳说，“你还是仔细考虑几天再作决定吧。不是我危言耸听，人流对女人身体的危害性很大，如果稍有偏差，将来想要孩子都要不上了。另外如果你依旧坚持不要孩子的决定，我会帮你约全市最权威的妇科医生。我一朋友的姐姐就是妇产医院的大夫。” “好的。谢谢你，馨语。”馨语这么为自己着想，若琳心里非常感动。 “咱们是好姐妹嘛，应该的。”馨语笑着拍拍若琳的肩膀。
虽然在若琳那里吃了好几次“闭门羹”，但是韩皓轩并没有善罢甘休，而是采取了循序渐进、敌退我守的温柔攻势。他不仅每天都去问候若琳，不管若琳如何给他冷脸色他都视而不见依旧厚脸皮地对她笑，而且他还费尽力气说服了他那顽固不化的母亲许凌亲自登门向若琳道歉。 而若琳也委实没有想到许凌会来找她。 接到许凌的电话时若琳很是惊讶，许凌以一种若琳从未听到过的温柔口气说：“你好，若琳，我能否见你一面呢？有些事情我想跟你当面谈一谈。” “请问您有什么事情呢？”若琳礼貌地问。 “电话里说不清楚，我们见面说吧。” 若琳找不到理由来拒绝，只好硬着头皮同意了。兵来将挡，水来土掩吧。她猜测许凌应该是知道她怀孕的事情然后才来找她的。但是许凌找她的目的是什么呢？是给她一笔钱让她把孩子做掉不要以此威胁韩皓轩还是让她把孩子生下来好为他们韩家传宗接代呢？ 其实，最近一段时间，若琳一直在认真考虑，究竟要不要把孩子留下来。她推掉了前面自己约的大夫，跟馨语介绍的大夫见了面，那位大夫帮她做了检查后告诉她说，她的体质虚弱，而做人流对身体损害很大，容易引发很多妇科疾病，还说如果这次流产的话保不准以后无法再生育。这对若琳来说无异于晴天霹雳。作为一个女人，如果都不能生孩子，怎么能感受做母亲的滋味呢？于是，若琳犹豫了，她不想让孩子缺乏父爱，但她也
Unknowingly, the two walked to the school corridor, they both stopped at the same time and sat in the corridor. The top of the corridor is covered with withered and yellow vines. Ruolin still remembers that she liked to come here for morning reading when she was in high school. She likes the environment here. In spring and summer, the plants here will be quite lush, especially the vines that climb the white corridor. The green vines are tangled and twisted, like a girl's meticulous thoughts.She also likes to sit at this end of the corridor and look at Mu Jingyan who is sitting on the other side.She pretended to be reciting the book seriously, but her eyes always wandered to Mu Jingyan inadvertently. She thought that he had never paid attention to her, and she thought that her crush in high school was a cup of bitter wine, a one-man show, an incomplete but memorable young love.Little did he know, she was also placed in his heart by him. Although the temperature is not high, the afternoon sun shines through the gaps in the corridor, so it doesn't feel too cold. The two sat side by side and didn't speak for a long time. "Ruolin..." Mu Jingyan broke the silence. "Huh?" Ruo Lin looked up at him. There was an emotion called gentleness circulating in Mu Jingyan's eyes, which made his eyes extraordinarily bright.Ruolin didn't dare to look at such eyes, she quickly lowered her head. "Did you really like me before?" Mu Jingyan asked. "Yes." Ruolin replied in a low voice. "I don't know when I started to like you, maybe it started when I thought you were special when I started school, or maybe it was a day when I was a classmate." Mu Jingyan fell into the memory, " At that time, the homework was very stressful, and every day everyone was chanting 'the test is the magic weapon of the teacher; My expectations surpass everything. I can only force myself to bury my special feelings for you in my heart. I originally wanted to reveal my heart to you after the college entrance examination, but considering that you may encounter more serious problems when you go to university Good boy, and we are studying in different cities. Even if we fall in love, we still get together less and leave more. This will make both of us endure the torment of missing. So I gave up. I said to myself, go to the university to find Let’s fall in love, maybe I will meet a better girl than you. When I was in college, it’s not that there were no girls who took the initiative to express their feelings to me, but they just didn’t like her and would compare her with you. So until I graduated from college, I I’ve never been in a relationship before.” Mu Jingyan said all this in one breath and then asked Ruolin, “Am I stupid for doing this? Should I confess my love to you after the college entrance examination?” "I'm as stupid as you." Ruo Lin's voice was very soft, as if she was sighing, "I also formed a kind of obsession with you before, and I always felt that all the boys couldn't compare with you. That's why I was with you after graduation. Similarly, the love history is also blank.” "We are all persistent people..." Mu Jingyan smiled. "No, at least I'm not. After meeting Han Haoxuan, I became less persistent, and my liking for you is not as firm as before..." Ruo Lin couldn't help but think of Han Haoxuan again.The time with him was not too long, but every little bit of being with him had been baked into her life, which she could never forget. "I regret it." "What do you regret?" "I regret not confessing to you earlier. If I confess now, is there still time?" Mu Jingyan looked at Ruolin expectantly. Ruolin didn't look at him, didn't speak, just sighed and shook her head slightly. "You still love him, right?" Mu Jingyan asked. Ruo Lin hesitated for a moment, then nodded heavily. "Since you still love him, go tell him, don't keep it in your heart. Otherwise, like me, you will miss a fate, what a pity!" When Mu Jingyan said this, his heart was in pain.Loving someone is hard, but being with someone else is even harder. "When two people are together, not only love can solve it, but also many other things, such as trust, such as sincerity. There are too many things between me and him. I will feel tired when I am with him." "Are you tired of being with me?" "Not tired." Ruolin said truthfully. "Then stay with me, and I will make you happy." After saying that, Mu Jingyan stretched out his right arm and wrapped it around Ruolin's shoulder. Ruolin smiled, and moved his hand away: "Pay attention to your personal image in school, after all, you are still a former Fengyun senior." "I'm serious. Ruolin, if you love him now, but you don't want to be with him, then stay with me. I will wait for you, until you forget him. No, you can't forget him." It doesn't matter if you fall. As long as I can be with you." Mu Jingyan said foolishly. "Why bother? Amu. There are many girls who are better than me. You should broaden your horizons and don't focus on me alone." Ruo Lin stood up and rubbed her hands to warm herself up. Mu Jingyan also stood up afterward. He grabbed Ruolin's hand and placed it in his generous and warm palm: "Isn't this cold?" Ruolin wanted to take out her hand, but Mu Jingyan held it tighter: "Accept me, please, just look for a pair of gloves for yourself, can't you just find a heater?" "Hehe, you are more useful than gloves and a stove. Let me go, or I will get angry." Mu Jingyan reluctantly let go of her slightly cold hand. "Here you are." Mu Jingyan stuffed a glass bottle filled with colorful paper cranes into Ruo Lin's hand. "What is this?" Ruo Lin looked suspiciously at the glass bottle. "Your birthday present, I wanted to give it to you last time on your birthday..." "Thank you." After Ruo Lin finished speaking, she looked at the present carefully, and felt that it looked so familiar, and then remembered that she had folded a thousand paper cranes and put them into a glass bottle to give to Mu Jingyan as a birthday present in her third year of high school.However, he didn't come to the appointment that day, so her gift has not been sent out, and she is still at home now. She couldn't help lamenting the reincarnation of the world and the twists and turns. "However, sending a thousand paper cranes is an ancient way of giving gifts. Why did you think of giving me this?" Ruolin asked. After Mu Jingyan told Ruolin the reason, Ruolin laughed loudly: "You really are a typical nerd! Folding a lot of paper cranes is of course for my sweetheart, you think I like that stuff for no reason when I'm full. Son." "Then you folded it for me?" Mu Jingyan's reaction this time can be said to be very quick. Ruolin didn't deny it. "Can you give me the gift you prepared for me back then?" Even if she doesn't love him now, at least keep the evidence that she once loved him. "The opportunity is never to be missed, the time will never come again. How long has passed, the gift has long since disappeared." Of course it's not that the gift is not there, but that Ruo Lin doesn't plan to give him the birthday present that she prepared for him back then.What a wonderful thing it would be if the thousand paper cranes he gave her were put together with the thousand paper cranes she folded for him back then.It's as if the past and the present merge, and time goes backwards. "Oh." It could be seen that Mu Jingyan was a little frustrated. "I'll give you a better present for your birthday in the future." Ruolin comforted him. "The meaning is different." He sighed softly. "Don't do this, Amu. You can find a better girl..." Ruolin tried to persuade him to forget about herself. "Let's talk..." Mu Jingyan hastily interrupted her. For a moment, the two became speechless. As ordinary friends, they talk about almost everything. However, once it comes to love, it will appear a little awkward. The best time to confess is missed, who can blame it?
The two walked around the school again, and then Mu Jingyan sent Ruo Lin home. "By the way, Amu, I remembered that I have to visit a friend today. Her home is nearby. You should stop at the intersection in front of you." On the way, Ruolin saw a pharmacy, so she found an excuse to let her Mu Jingyan stopped the car. After Mu Jingyan's car drove away, Ruo Lin walked into the pharmacy. "Miss, what do you need?" the clerk asked enthusiastically. "Early pregnancy test paper." Although it was a bit difficult to say, Ruolin still said it.
The test result of the early pregnancy test paper was positive! Ruolin was honored to win the lottery, but she was not happy at all. They broke up, but they are pregnant with his child, God, you are so good at teasing people!Ruo Lin almost looked up to the sky and sighed. She has been with Han Haoxuan for so long, every time he is very careful, every time he is very gentle, every time he takes protective measures, but only that time... That time he pressed her on the bed like crazy , invaded her despite her objections.But it was that time that made her pregnant with his child! It is said that a child is the crystallization of love, but this child was not born of love, but because of jealousy! Do you want to keep this child born of Han Haoxuan's jealousy?To keep this child, always remind yourself, has Han Haoxuan ever disrespected her?Staying is a pain, and she will have a more difficult life in the future.But if she didn't stay, she would be a little bit reluctant.After all, it is a developing life!In any case, the child is innocent after all.
Later, Ruolin quietly went to the hospital for an examination, and the doctor confirmed that she was pregnant for more than a month. She did not disclose the pregnancy to anyone, including Mu Jingyan. Ruolin sometimes wonders if staying with Mu Jingyan would be a better choice, after all, she has already broken up with Han Haoxuan, so there is no need to live in memories.Moreover, Mu Jingyan treats her very well, and she is also a high school classmate. Everyone knows everything and is easy to get along with. If you marry him, he must be a model husband that everyone envies: a successful career, gentle and considerate, affectionate and dedicated.In this materialistic world, how many people can keep a pure love like Mu Jingyan for several years? If it wasn't for Han Haoxuan's intervention, she should be staying and flying with Mu Jingyan by now, right? If there is no child in her belly, maybe Ruolin will seriously consider Mu Jingyan's suggestion. "Then stay with me, and I will make you happy." Saying such words from the mouth of a man who had been secretly in love for several years was not without emotion. It has been said that happiness is a woman's greatest cause. A man who is willing to promise a woman's happiness is at least serious. Ruolin remembered that Han Haoxuan might have promised her happiness, it was her birthday, he whispered in her ear: "I will make you happy, but you must be faithful to me." He promised, but there was a "but" in the words.Promises are most afraid of twists and turns. This shows that what is lacking between them is trust in each other.So his promise will not be fulfilled. Ruolin stroked her lower abdomen while thinking, and said softly: "Baby, maybe your life is bad, you shouldn't have come into this world. I don't want you to become a child without a father. My father I left us very early, I had a hard life. I don't want you to have a hard life. And with my mother's financial ability, I can't support you at all. So, I'm sorry." Tears rolled down her cheeks quietly, falling to There is a slight chill in the neck.
After returning to City D, Ruolin found that the diary she wrote in high school was missing.That book records all her secret feelings for Mu Jingyan, which is very important to her. Wang Mengmeng's wedding banquet, Mu Jingyan's confession, returning to her alma mater, and going home during the Chinese New Year made Ruolin want to relive the old days, but the book disappeared!
She had the impression that the diary was placed in the left drawer, did she remember it wrong? Ruolin was not reconciled, she ransacked the box and cabinet, almost turned the house upside down, and found no diary. Ruolin suddenly remembered that Han Haoxuan came to her place not long before the Spring Festival, did he see it?And then it was taken by the guy who likes to be jealous the most?Or was it destroyed? Ruolin didn't dare to continue thinking.She knew how strong Han Haoxuan's jealousy was, and she also knew how terrible Han Haoxuan was when he was jealous. Originally, I didn't want to have anything to do with him, but now I had to contact him to ask about the whereabouts of the diary.
Ruolin knew that this kind of thing couldn't be explained clearly on the phone, and with Han Haoxuan's ability to open his eyes and tell lies, he definitely wouldn't admit that the disappearance of the diary was related to him from the very beginning. So she planned to ask him out to meet.Unexpectedly, the phone was dialed, but it was transferred directly to the secretary's desk: "Hi, hello, I'm Mr. Han's secretary Zhang Qin. Mr. Han is in a meeting right now. Please leave a message if you have anything to do." "I'm Shen Ruolin..." "Oh, it's Ms. Shen." As soon as Ruo Lin reported her name, Zhang Qin's tone immediately softened a bit, and then hesitated, "I don't know if I should say something or not." "Go ahead." "Didn't you and Han always quarrel recently? I always feel that his expression is not right." Zhang Qin's gossip talent came into play again. "This kind of thing is not something you should care about, right?" Ruo Lin replied coldly, "Please let him finish the meeting and call me back. Goodbye." Without waiting for Zhang Qin to say another word, Ruo Lin hung up Cut off the phone.
Ruo Lin called herself?Did you hear me right?Han Haoxuan never thought that Ruolin would find him. He was a little overjoyed.Did she figure it out and decide to get back together with herself? Han Haoxuan hastily dialed Ruolin's number. "Ruolin, did you just look for me?" Han Haoxuan's voice could not conceal the surprise. "Well. I just want to ask you when you will be free. There is something I must ask you face to face." Ruolin said flatly.In fact, when she heard his voice coming from the other end of the phone, she felt as if an electric current surged through her heart.His voice was so familiar, so she missed it.It turned out that she had never really managed to forget him, never. "I'm free anytime, you see what time is convenient for you." Ruolin looked at the time and said, "Just today, around five o'clock. Where can I meet you?" "Let's go to 'Jiangnan Water Town'." Han Haoxuan knew that Ruolin liked Huaiyang cuisine, and they were regular customers there before. "Okay." Short answer. "Are you at work? I'll pick you up." "No need, I can go there by myself." After finishing speaking, Ruolin hung up the phone.
Han Haoxuan arrived at "Jiangnan Water Town" before 4:30, and asked his secretary to book a small private room in advance. He only needs to report "Mr. Han", and the welcoming lady will take him to the corresponding private room. It's not the peak dining season, and the restaurant is quieter than usual. Han Haoxuan unconsciously took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, took out a cigarette, and was about to light it, when he suddenly remembered that Ruolin didn't like the smell of cigarettes, so he put the cigarette back. "Sir, do you need some tea and drinks first?" The enthusiastic waiter came over and asked.Maybe it's a new waiter. I haven't seen Han Haoxuan before, so I can't help but linger on his handsome face for a few seconds longer. "Thank you, I'll call you later." Han Haoxuan replied politely.
After waiting for a long time, Han Haoxuan heard footsteps coming from the corridor.The sound of footsteps from far to near became more and more familiar. It's her! He actually became nervous for the first time, a little restless. He told himself to be calm, to be calm.They broke up, he wanted to save her but didn't give him a chance, why should he care about her?She might have already lived a sweet life with Mu Jingyan. When the sound of footsteps reached the door, Han Haoxuan raised his head quickly, and the face that made him think about it day and night came into view.She was a little thinner than before, and her face looked a little tired.He should have gloated and thought, didn't you say that being with Mu Jingyan is happier than me?Why doesn't it look like that.But in fact, he didn't feel anything other than caring for her.
"You're here." Waiting for Ruolin to sit down opposite Han Haoxuan, he said. "Hmm." She said softly, as if in a low voice. "You've lost weight." "You've lost weight."—in unison.Not one second earlier, nor one second late. The originally silent atmosphere suddenly became a little more active, and the two of them smiled at the same time.
Every time I came here before, Han Haoxuan ordered food, and this habit has continued.This time it was still Han Haoxuan who ordered, and what he ordered was Ruolin's favorite dishes. When he was ordering, Ruolin opened her mouth several times, wanting to change to other dishes.But afraid that he might have doubts, he didn't say anything after all. Her stomach is very picky about dishes now, and all greasy dishes can't enter her mouth.But is there any reason to tell him not to order these her usual favorite dishes?Could she tell him it was because she was pregnant?cannot!Because she has already decided not to have this child.What if he found out and wanted her to stay.Never let him know.
Ruolin was afraid that they would quarrel over the diary, so she planned to ask him after dinner. "How have you been recently?" Seeing Ruo Lin eating in silence, Han Haoxuan began to ask. "It's good." He must want to hear her say "not good", right?Of course she wouldn't let him. "That's good. Eat more." Han Haoxuan put the fish that Ruolin usually likes to eat into her bowl, "You are so skinny, your family's Amu doesn't love you, my ex-boyfriend looks strange Distressed." No matter how you listen to the next sentence, there is a sense of cynicism. "I..." Ruo Lin wanted to say that she hadn't actually dated Mu Jingyan, but remembering whether she had a relationship or not had nothing to do with him, she hesitated to speak. "Go on." Han Haoxuan said casually, "I am very happy to hear your good news. If you are happy, I will be happy too." hypocritical!Ruo Lin slandered. "Ouch—" Just as the fish was in the mouth, Ruolin felt sour in her mouth, and felt like vomiting again. "What's wrong with you?" Han Haoxuan asked hurriedly. "It's okay." "It's fine. But you look like you're sick, you won't be pregnant so soon, right? I haven't had your wedding wine with Mu Jingyan yet!" Han Haoxuan said solemnly. "Han Haoxuan!" Ruo Lin couldn't help it. "What's your business?" Han Haoxuan asked slowly. "Please don't involve other people in our affairs. In addition, I need to declare that I have no intention of getting married for the time being." "Oh? That's a pity. Maybe I'll treat you and Mu Jingyan to my wedding wine first." "Congratulations." Ruo Lin sneered in her heart when she didn't expect him to have a new love so soon. When did the conversation between the two of them become so polite and strange?Han Haoxuan also didn't understand why he had to lie to Ruo Lin.Obviously did not agree to Anxi's request to get back together, obviously there is no other woman around, and obviously there is only Ruolin in his heart, only her, why would he lie? Maybe he did this just to force her to tell the truth. He hoped that she would admit defeat first and tell him that she, like him, still thought of him and loved him.But she just didn't say it.
"Ouch—" There was another retch, Ruolin couldn't help it anymore, she covered her mouth and ran out. "Ruolin, what's wrong with you?" Han Haoxuan got up and followed out. Ruo Lin vomited so heartbroken in the bathroom that she almost spit out tears. After vomiting, she came to the sink, turned on the faucet, picked up a handful of water to rinse her mouth, and washed her face. She looked haggard in the mirror.She hasn't been eating well recently, so she throws up whatever she eats.She regretted agreeing to Han Haoxuan to come to the restaurant.
"Ruo Lin, what's the matter with you? Are you really alright?" Han Haoxuan hurriedly asked when he saw Ruolin coming out of the bathroom. Ruolin shook her head and replied, "It's fine." "I'll take you to the hospital. What's the matter with vomiting like this?" Han Haoxuan stretched out his hand to support Ruolin. "I can go by myself." Ruo Lin glanced at his hand, and he moved it away. "You are still the same, you like to be brave." Han Haoxuan said helplessly.
It wasn't until Han Haoxuan was about to check out after dinner that Ruo Lin began to talk about the real purpose of meeting him: "Did you see a notebook with a black cover when you went to my place last time?" "What notebook?" Han Haoxuan deliberately pretended to be confused. "A notebook I keep in a drawer, a notebook that records my private diary." "Oh, is it the book that records the deep love between you and Mu Jing?" Han Haoxuan actually expected that Ruo Lin would find him because of the diary, but he didn't expect it to be so soon, and he didn't expect that she would meet him this time just for that. A broken book! "Then you've seen it? How can you casually look through other people's things?" Ruolin was a little dissatisfied. "I'm not interested in peeping, I just saw it by accident." "The book is gone, is it hidden by you?" "Do you think it's possible for me to keep that notebook? You're not looking for me this time just because of that notebook, are you?" Han Haoxuan was really sad.Is the relationship between him and Ruolin not as good as such a book with a long history that is worthy of nostalgia? "Yes. I'm looking for you because of that book." Ruolin didn't intend to deny it either. "I accidentally splashed water on that book, and then threw it away." Han Haoxuan said calmly, as if talking about an unimportant matter. "Throw it away?" Ruo Lin stood up, staring at Han Haoxuan. "Yes, help you dispose of the garbage." Han Haoxuan knew that Ruolin was angry, but he was still able to say these words calmly. "Han Haoxuan, don't be so self-righteous. Maybe it is rubbish to you, but it is a treasure to me, a unparalleled treasure in the world! Tell me, where did you throw it? You must help me find it !" Ruolin felt that it was a memory of her childhood, and Han Haoxuan had no right to deal with it. "I've been throwing it away for so long, and the possibility of getting it back is gone. Can I just buy a new copy for you?" "Don't talk so casually, that book can't be bought. Have you ever heard that memories can be bought with money? Don't think you can do whatever you want if you have money!" Ruo Lin's voice trembled a little, her face Also flushed with excitement, "Han Haoxuan, why do you think you threw away my diary?" "Then why do you keep that book until now? You even fell in love with me, and you still keep it, and put it in such a close place. Have you ever understood my feelings?" Han Haoxuan asked her back. "Didn't you keep things related to your former girlfriend? It's a memory of a person's past, a memory that cannot be erased." "I didn't keep it. After we broke up, I didn't keep everything about Anxi, including the photos. But, Ruolin, I kept everything related to you. Do you know why?" "..." Ruo Lin was stopped by the question. "Because I care about you more! I still love you!" Han Haoxuan also stood up. He walked to her side, pulled her into his arms, and hugged her tightly, "You give me this time I'm very happy to ask me out on the phone. I don't want to quarrel with you. If you care about that book, I can only say sorry to you. Because I threw it away on impulse, and I can't get it back. You said memories It cannot be bought with money, I agree. But can you have more me and less Mu Jingyan in your memory? Is my request too much?" "..." Ruo Lin didn't know how to answer.Suddenly remembering what Han Haoxuan said just now about inviting her to a wedding drink, he glanced at Han Haoxuan's hand on her shoulder and said, "You are about to get married, please respect yourself." Han Haoxuan snorted coldly, but didn't let go: "You really believe the nonsense I just said! I won't just accept a new relationship before I sort out my own ideas. I'm not like some people who clearly like others in my heart I like it so much, but I just refuse to admit it, and I just suffocate myself to death." Ruolin could tell that the "certain people" Han Haoxuan was referring to was her.But what she didn't understand was who the "others" in the "like others" he said were.Was it about himself or Mu Jingyan?She was a little confused. "I have to go." Ruo Lin stretched out her hand to push Han Haoxuan's hand away, "Besides, I don't want to have any contact with you in the future." "You want to sever ties with me just because of a broken book? Is it okay to remain friends after breaking up?" Han Haoxuan spoke very fast, his breathing was a little short, and his chest heaved slightly due to excitement. "I'm sorry, I can't do it." Ruo Lin lowered her head, not looking at his expression.She was afraid of being soft-hearted. "You woman..." Han Haoxuan really didn't know what to say, why is she so hard-hearted? "I was wondering if you ever loved me." "We've all broken up, and there's no point in entangled in love or not. Han Haoxuan, we are all adults, and we have to be responsible for our actions. You said let me go, so you have to do what you say. There's no need to pester me." Cleared up." Ruo Lin said in a low voice, then picked up her bag, ready to leave. "But I said, if you leave and I feel happy, I will let you go. Tell me, are you happy now?" Han Haoxuan grabbed Ruolin's arm quickly. "Happiness." Ruo Lin blurted out almost without hesitation. "Look at me and say, I want you to look at me and say, your eyes won't lie." Han Haoxuan pressed Ruo Lin's shoulder, pulled her over, and faced him. Ruo Lin still didn't dare to look up at him, she didn't speak for a long time. The air seemed to freeze. Han Haoxuan stretched out his hand to lift Ruo Lin's chin, and found that there were tears in her eyes! "Are you crying?" Han Haoxuan's tone suddenly softened. "Don't force me to say what I don't want to say." Ruo Lin's tone was almost pleading.Can she be happy?She loves him, is pregnant with his child, but cannot be with him.Moreover, she and his child will completely disappear from this world in a few days, and she has already made an appointment with the doctor... Thinking of these, she couldn't help but burst into tears. Han Haoxuan picked up the napkin from the table and wiped away the tears from the corners of Ruo Lin's eyes: "I haven't seen you cry yet. Could it be that being with him is unhappy?" "Han Haoxuan, you don't understand my heart at all!" Ruo Lin dropped those words, then turned around stubbornly, trotted all the way out.She couldn't stay with him like this any longer, and she was afraid that she would throw herself into his arms and cry loudly, and everything she had done would be in vain.After finally leaving him, and finally letting Zhang Kuang's wound heal, she didn't want to make any more troubles. Han Haoxuan was stunned for a moment, then chased after him: "I'll take you back." Ruolin didn't go far, she just walked to the door of the hotel.Han Haoxuan walked over quickly and took her hand: "What do you mean by that sentence just now? Can you explain it clearly?" "It's not interesting." The night wind blew, and Ruolin woke up a lot. "Then why are you crying?" "I didn't cry, it's because my eyes hurt a little." Ruolin denied that she had cried just now. "Since you don't want to tell the reason, I won't ask. However, I hope you can always remember one thing: I hope you can live a happy life more than anyone else." Han Haoxuan said emotionally.In the night, he just looked at Ruolin so seriously, his obsidian-like eyes seemed to be shining with a strange light. At that moment, Ruolin only felt that her cheeks were burning hot, and her heart became extremely soft in an instant.She is still fascinated by his sweet words.It's been so long, why do you still have feelings for him?She scolded herself in her heart for being worthless.
On the way Han Haoxuan drove Ruolin back, the two of them remained silent, but in fact they had their own thoughts. Ruolin turned her gaze to the city covered by neon lights outside the window. There are many high-rise buildings standing beside the road, and many windows of the buildings are filled with orange light, which looks very warm. If there was a light always on for her, waiting for her, why would she choose to refuse?But who will light the warmest lamp for her?Is it Mu Jingyan, or someone she has never met?She never thought that the person who left a lamp for her was Han Haoxuan.Han Haoxuan said that he likes freedom. Not only is he domineering, he also likes to let his temper go. He usually does whatever he wants without discussing it with her at all.Even if he left a lamp for her, it wouldn't emit a warm light, it would only emit a light that was too strong and hot, and she couldn't bear that light, so it would burn.How can a love that is too strong and domineering be suitable for her?Her ideal love is not vigorous, but flat and smooth.This kind of love is easier to last.
Perhaps because the atmosphere in the car was too silent, Han Haoxuan turned on the radio, and a slightly sad music wafted from it: "It's a pity that love is not a fairy tale, and you can't rely on the prince forever. No matter how sad, there are only two words left. I can't bear to explain it to you. The happiest thing I have ever been is your angel. I can hide it while my nose is sore. Let us be like It was the last time I hugged; the happiest thing was your gesture of wishing me when you blow out the candles; it was the happiest thing to keep a place on the left side of my heart for the person I love the most..." What a fitting song.Ruolin sighed in her heart. As long as you have loved deeply, it is the happiest thing to keep a place for each other on the left side of your heart.Look, how hypocritical and hypocritical it is in the lyrics!Obviously sang so sadly and sadly, but deceived himself and others that it was "the happiest thing". Han Haoxuan may also feel that it is shameful to listen to such a sad song all the time, so he reached out and turned off the radio. The atmosphere in the car returned to silence.
"Here we are, get out of the car." Han Haoxuan stopped the car. He didn't get out of the car as usual, opened the door for her, and waited for her to get out of the car.He sat motionless in the car, his eyes were fixed on the front, his expression was very focused, and he didn't look at Ruo Lin at all. "Thank you for taking me home." Ruolin said as she got out of the car. Han Haoxuan frowned, did not speak, but took out a cigarette and lit it. The scarlet fire was very eye-catching in the night, the fire flickered between Han Haoxuan's fingers and lips, Ruolin only felt that the fire seemed to pierce her heart. "Smoking is bad for your health." Ruolin blurted out as if out of habit. "You still know how to care about my body? It seems that you don't care about me at all!" After Han Haoxuan finished speaking, he put out the cigarette. "There is one thing that I want to return to you." Ruo Lin said and took off the watch on her wrist.This is the watch that Han Haoxuan gave her on her birthday. "I lost the memories between you and Mu Jingyan, so are you going to lose the memories between me and you too?" Han Haoxuan said coldly. He glanced at the watch but didn't pick it up. I will not take back what I gave you. If you don't want it, you can just throw it away." "Although we can't be lovers now, I still want to thank you. Thank you for giving me a sweet and happy time. Although I can't cherish these times, I don't want to lose them. This watch is the witness of those times. I I return it to you in the hope that you will cherish it well." Ruolin handed the watch to Han Haoxuan. "Don't you think you are too selfish? I came to cherish this time, but you gave it back to me easily! What is the difference between you doing this and throwing away our memories?" Han Haoxuan's tone changed a little . "..." Ruolin was speechless for a moment.Is she too selfish?She just wanted to give him back something related to him. Han Haoxuan didn't speak any more, didn't even say goodbye to Ruo Lin, but turned the car around, and the car gradually left Ruo Lin's sight.
It was as if a layer of fog had covered Ruolin's eyes, and her vision gradually became blurred. A cold liquid dripped down his cheeks. Since then, there is really no intersection between them, right? Although she didn't record everything about her and Han Haoxuan in the form of a diary, all of this was deeply etched in her mind like a movie film.In fact, in her memory, Han Haoxuan's name is more profound than Mu Jingyan's. The embarrassment when she and him accidentally touched each other's lips; the heartbeat when he held her hand for the first time; the night he took her to his "paradise on earth"; he and her at the seaside Birthday spent... At this moment, memories about Han Haoxuan rushed into her brain. She still remembers the wish she made on her birthday—the wish is very simple, but she hopes to build a love fairy tale of "holding the hand of the son and growing old together" with Han Haoxuan. Nine out of ten times life is unsatisfactory, and often the simplest wish can become the most difficult luxury to realize.
The night wind was very cold, and Ruo Lin stood there alone for a long, long time. She didn't start walking back until her body was shivering from the cold.
Han Haoxuan held the steering wheel tightly and drove the car very fast. The car overtook one car after another. He is so angry today! He didn't expect that Ruo Lin would look for him for an old diary, let alone that she would give him back the birthday present he gave her! Did she ever love him?Did she put Mu Jingyan in the most important position in her heart from beginning to end, while he, Han Haoxuan, never occupied her heart? It should be like this, otherwise why didn't she contact him even once after the breakup?Why did he take the initiative to find her and she ignored him? She said that he couldn't give her a peaceful and happy life, and she also said that being with Mu Jingyan was happier than being with him, what did she think of him from the beginning to the end?Passing by?Rest station? Han Haoxuan's face was gloomy, and his thick eyebrows were furrowed. 失恋已然很痛苦，她却偏偏要在他尚未结痂的伤口撒上一把盐，这样她就会好受了吗？她的心究竟是不是肉长的？
韩皓轩并没有直接回家，而是去酒吧喝酒了。他打电话约好哥们儿秦天意一起过去。 秦天意到达酒吧的时候，韩皓轩已经喝了好几杯酒了，眼神都透着股迷离。有位打扮得□的女郎正在跟韩皓轩搭讪。 “你还得再喝一杯。你刚才输了。”那女郎不依不饶地说。 “哪有？我……没输。是你输了。”韩皓轩说。 秦天意给了那女郎一点钱，很顺利地便将她从韩皓轩身边打发走。 “我说你今天这是怎么回事啊？要是我来晚了一点，保不准你会酒后乱性什么的。酒这东西伤身体，又总误事儿，能乱喝的吗？”秦天意忍不住说了韩皓轩两句。这家伙平时自制力很强的，失恋那会儿也没见他这么自我堕落啊，今天这是怎么了？ “都分手了还知道关心我啊！原来你也是在乎我的啊！”韩皓轩说着已经将手抚上秦天意的脸了，发现不太对劲，说，“你最近太辛苦了吧，皮肤都不如以前光滑了……” “光滑个头啊！我不是你女人，我是你兄弟！”秦天意拍掉韩皓轩不老实的手，“走吧，哥们儿，我送你回家。”
第二天一早，韩皓轩还没醒来，他的手机已经铃声大作了。他以为是闹钟，眼睛都没睁，便厌嫌地去按。结果按下后，手机又响了。他又去按。刚按下又响了。 这下他明白了过来，不是闹钟的声音，是来电的声音。 他睁开蒙眬的睡眼，仔细看屏幕上显示的名字：馨语。她怎么会给自己打电话的？好像他们已经有好长时间没联系了吧，除了那次帮若琳还钱和馨语见过面之外。 “韩皓轩，你这个浑蛋！”韩皓轩刚接起电话，馨语的声音就传来了。她的声音那么大，而且一开口就这么不同寻常，让韩皓轩大吃一惊，他坐了起来，问她：“怎么了？” “怎么了？你说怎么了？你搞大了别人的肚子懂不懂得负责？你不能因为别人怀了你的孩子就把别人给甩了吧？你这个始乱终弃的恶棍！”馨语完全忘记了自己“为人师表”应该注意自己的口气。 “我搞大了别人的肚子？”韩皓轩完全是丈二和尚摸不着头脑，他最近生活一向检点，根本没有那啥生活吧！ “不要再装糊涂了。快来医院看看若琳吧。”馨语也不打算跟他绕圈子了，干脆实话实说，“她怀孕了你应该好好照顾她，而不是跟她分手。你懂不懂怀孕中的女人是最脆弱的啊？” 馨语的话如同一个惊雷，把韩皓轩炸了个结结实实。他来不及仔细思索前因后果，赶紧问了若琳所在的医院，然后穿衣下床，匆忙洗漱完毕，开车赶去医院。
要不是这次若琳突发高烧被馨语发现送进医院，馨语根本不会知道若琳已经怀孕的事情。这丫头的嘴巴也封得太严实了，出了这么大的事情也不告诉她，她都有些抱怨若琳有没有把自己当做好姐妹了。 结果若琳却一脸不开心地说：“这件事情我没打算告诉任何人，因为这个孩子与这个世界无缘。” “什么意思？”馨语不解地问。怀孩子本该是一件开心的事情，应该和好朋友分享。为什么她却老大的不高兴？ “因为我和韩皓轩分手了……” 没等若琳说完，馨语就打断了她的话：“什么？！分手了？那浑蛋怎么能这样？” “这与他没啥关系，是我提出的分手。”若琳和韩皓轩分手的事情一直没有告诉馨语，可能是馨语曾经是韩皓轩女友的缘故吧，自从馨语和韩皓轩分手以后，若琳在馨语面前几乎没提过韩皓轩。 “你以为谁主动提出分手谁受的伤害就会少一点吗？他如果没问题你会提出分手吗？问题肯定出在他身上。”这一点馨语实在太有体会了。虽然她和韩皓轩分手是她提出的，可是受害者完全是她。分手后，韩皓轩可以潇洒地恋爱，可怜的她还要找沈扬作为挡箭牌好让若琳好过一些。现如今，她不但依旧对若琳撒着谎言，而且依旧在相亲的道路上一路狂奔呢！
之后，本来就好打抱不平的馨语赶紧打电话给韩皓轩，告诉他若琳怀孕的消息。 馨语素来尊重生命，哪怕是尚在发育中的小小胚胎。所以她一向坚决反对流产，她的姐妹同事大凡怀了孕，不管是计划中的还是意料之外的，她都鼓励生下来。何况她最亲爱的姐妹若琳呢？她可不想让若琳承受流产的痛苦，也不想让若琳孕育的生命消失无迹。 馨语不可否认曾经对韩皓轩动过情，可是自从她决定退出后，就打心底希望韩皓轩能和若琳好好地在一起生活了。他们俩分手的事情她也是刚刚才知道，虽然她不知道具体的原因，但第六感告诉她肯定与韩皓轩做得不够好有关。 按理说，若琳和韩皓轩之间的事情她不应该插手，但是这次关系到若琳肚子里的孩子。她希望那孩子能够活下来，能够幸福。而幸福的孩子必须有个爸爸。所以她才会不经过若琳的同意，自作主张给韩皓轩打了电话。
韩皓轩赶到医院后，直奔若琳的病房。 到了门外，他突然有些胆怯了。昨天晚上和她吵得“天翻地覆”，这会儿见到他她会不会情绪波动呢？那样会影响到她肚子里的孩子吗？那孩子可是他和她的爱情结晶啊！ 正在犹豫间，门开了。 “傻站着干吗？进来啊。”馨语正打算出去给若琳买吃的东西，没想到韩皓轩这么快就到了。看他一脸焦急的样子，对若琳并非全然不顾啊。 “谢谢。”韩皓轩由衷地说。对于馨语能够及时通知他他很感激。 馨语没有回答，侧着身走了出去，最后留给韩皓轩一句话：“好好照顾若琳。我去买点吃的。”
病房里只剩下若琳和韩皓轩两个人。 “对不起。”韩皓轩来到若琳的床前，异常温柔地说。 自韩皓轩出现在门口之后，若琳就转过身，背对着他。从刚才韩皓轩和馨语的对话来看，韩皓轩现在能出现在这里一定和馨语打小报告有关。她知道馨语也是出于一片好意，希望她和韩皓轩能因为孩子重归于好。但是破碎的镜子不是说拼就拼起来的，破裂的感情也不是稍稍缝补就能完美无缺的。 “若琳，我错了。我不该把你珍贵的日记本撕掉，我不该随便吃醋，我更不该放你走……我知道自己错了，你原谅我吧。”韩皓轩的语气里透着十分的真诚，“如果你不能原谅我的所作所为，也请你看在我们孩子的基础上原谅我……” “你走吧，我对你无话可说。”若琳终于开口了。再听他絮絮叨叨下去，她恐怕自己要乱了阵脚。 “若琳，我们真的只能这样了吗？”韩皓轩缓缓地在床旁的椅子上坐下，眉头紧蹙，一脸痛苦无奈状，“我昨天晚上想了很多，我从来都不后悔认识你，也不后悔对你付出真心，但我唯一后悔的是当初放你走。原谅我，给我一次机会，也给你自己一次机会，这样不好吗？非要撕破脸做路人干吗呢？何况现在你还怀着我的孩子……” “不要跟我提孩子。”若琳打断他的话，“孩子你怎么来的你知道吗？你想起来了吗？那一幕我从来都不敢去回想，你平时衣冠楚楚，仪表堂堂，但是那天的你跟禽兽又有什么两样？” “对不起……那天是我失控了。我向你保证，以后再也不会发生那天的事情了。”韩皓轩几乎低声下气地说了。 “以后的事情谁都说不清楚，我也从不去想以后怎么样。但是，我很清楚的一点是，以后我的人生和你无关。”若琳也不知道自己是怎么能够将这些狠话甩出去的。她做事情从来都不喜欢拖泥带水，既然已经分手，已经从他身边撤离，那就要全身而退，开始全新的生活。她的生活，并不是少了韩皓轩就怎么样。同样，韩皓轩离开她以后也可以照样过得风生水起。他现在之所以对她还有留恋，只是暂时还没放下而已。终有一天，他会放下，就如同他放下安茜那样放下她。地球少了谁都照样转动，没有谁离不开谁这样的爱情神话。 “怎么能和我没关系呢？你肚子里的孩子是改变不了的你我之间的纽带……”韩皓轩尽量压低声音说，尽量的轻声细语。他今天来之前已经提醒了自己N遍，任若琳如何骂他，如何说他，他都不会发火，他都要温柔。所谓“不管你如何待我，我自岿然不动”。 “对不起……这个孩子我不打算留下来。”若琳终究说出口了。 “什么？！你说什么？”韩皓轩忍不住激动了。 “我说我打算把孩子打掉。”若琳清晰地重复了一遍。 “为什么？”韩皓轩大吃一惊。 “都已经分手了，留着孩子干吗啊？”若琳尽量说得平和一些，说得仿佛是一件顺理成章的事。 “分手了可以和好的。我们和好吧，若琳，我是认真的。而且这次你怀孕了，我父母肯定会接受你的。我们可以很快就举办婚礼……”韩皓轩在憧憬美好未来。 “我以前就说过，我绝对不会用怀孕这件事来逼你父母同意我俩结婚。这种手段太低级了。”若琳很快便打断他，“韩皓轩，我觉得你应该现实一点。我们之所以分手是因为我们缺乏对彼此的信任，而且家庭背景也相差悬殊。这些都会成为我们之间矛盾的引发点。这些矛盾不是一个孩子就可以解决的。我们不能在一起，孩子也不能留下。我主意已定，不会改变了。我希望你不要太偏执，你会遇到更好的女孩，你也会过上更好的生活，你也会和别人有小孩……” “偏执的人是你。”韩皓轩不想让若琳再继续说下去了，“哪一对情侣，哪一对夫妻之间没有矛盾呢？只要对彼此有爱，什么矛盾不能解决呢？孩子也是属于我的，我不允许你把他打掉。知不知道做人流在国外是犯法的？你如果把孩子打掉等于在扼杀一个小生命。所以你想打掉孩子我坚决不同意。” “这不是在国外，我的孩子我有权做任何处理，不管是留下还是打掉。”若琳坚持。 韩皓轩沉默了好一会儿，他在极力克制自己的情绪，他不能对孕妇发怒，他在挽回一段感情，他应该要具有足够的耐心。可是面对如此固执如此倔强的若琳，他该如何说服她跟他和好，如何说服她将孩子留下来呢？他前所未有地感觉到无助，一种强烈的无奈笼罩了他。 “你先好好休息，我改天再来看你。”最终，韩皓轩只好“三十六计，走为上策”。临走时只丢下一句话：“孩子一定要留下，因为那也是我的骨肉，你没有权利私自处理。”
馨语带着食物回来时，韩皓轩已经离开了。 若琳依旧侧躺在床上，背对着门。 “韩皓轩呢？”馨语问。 “走了。”若琳回答。 “哦，起来吃东西吧。”馨语有些小小的失望。她其实想就若琳怀孕的事情单独跟韩皓轩谈一次的，没想到那家伙来去匆匆，也不给她这个机会。她跟他还真是没有缘分。若是当初相亲的人是她不是若琳，结局或许完全不一样吧？她努力拂掉自己乱七八糟的想法。 若琳坐起来，接过馨语递过来的食物：“真香啊。生病最大的福利就是能让你这个千金大小姐亲自来照顾，也算不枉此生啊！馨语，谢谢你。” “你个没良心的，现在才跟我说谢谢啊。还好今天早上江淮路修路无法通行，我才会走长春路经过你那边，不然你现在估计还在家里发高烧呢！” “知道了，我的救命恩人陈馨语，您的大恩大德，我一定会没齿难忘，涌泉相报的。”若琳笑道。 “得了，报恩我没指望。我就那么点要求，你以后有啥事能不能别瞒着我啊？要不是我送你来医院，医生检查出你怀孕了，你还要瞒我到什么时候啊？”馨语对于若琳隐瞒怀孕的事情颇为不满。 “好好好，下次什么事都不瞒着你。” “对了，韩皓轩刚刚来有没有说要娶你之类的话？”馨语故作漫不经心地问。 “说了。”若琳回答。 “哎哟，姐们儿，你说话能不能别这么言简意赅啊？好歹你得说说当时的场景啊。比如说有没有跟你单膝下跪啊。” “医院可不是浪漫的地方。馨语，你和沈扬怎么不结婚啊？不老早就嚷嚷着结婚吗？”若琳迅速转移话题。 “这个嘛，我不急。而且我打算再挑挑。” “你以为选对象是选美比赛啊，别挑花眼了，要珍惜身边人，沈扬不挺好的吗？” “珍惜身边人，你还知道这句话啊！韩皓轩看上去挺在乎你的，你应该好好把握。”馨语说这句话的时候自己都感觉有些酸涩。虽然韩皓轩没有爱过她，但他们好歹曾经恋爱一场。 话题又转到了韩皓轩身上，若琳在心里苦笑。 “话说人家要娶你，你有没有答应啊？”馨语问。 "No." “若琳，我说你是不是吃错药了啊？这是多好的嫁人机会啊！奉子成婚，多么浪漫，多么具有纪念意义。”馨语觉得有些不可思议。 “我不想这样。馨语，你不知道我和他在一起要承受多大的压力。甚至，我到现在都不知道他爱的是我，还是他以前女朋友的替身。还有，他母亲也让我有点喘不过气来。一想到要融入他那样的家庭就觉得天都要塌下来一样。”爱情从来都是感性的，婚姻却需要理性。若琳也是从理性的角度考虑，觉得自己和韩皓轩始终有跨越不去的栅栏。 “母以子贵。你现在可是有孕在身，量他母亲也拿你没办法。何况你嫁给韩皓轩又不是嫁给他母亲……” “不对，我在一本叫的书里看到，嫁人不仅是嫁给一个男人，也是嫁给一个家庭。韩皓轩那样的家庭并不适合我，我能想象得到，我若是在他家生活会显得多么格格不入。” “那你是铁定心不嫁韩皓轩了？”馨语问。 “是啊。如果明知道会过得很艰难，很辛苦，为什么要去尝试呢？” “可是不尝试，你怎么知道一定会辛苦呢？而且就算你不为自己考虑，你也得为孩子考虑吧。你不嫁给他，孩子怎么办？孩子没有父亲，这对孩子来说可是一种伤害。” “我说了，孩子我不打算要。” “这点我可不同意。我还等着做干妈呢！还记得吗？以前念大学时，我们约定，谁先生了孩子就得认对方为干妈。” “记得。可是这个孩子我还是不想要。” “你不要这么执迷不悟好不好，孩子是上天赐予给你的礼物，你怎么舍得将他舍弃呢？” “馨语，我也舍不得……但是我如果要了，一是以我目前的经济能力，我养不起这个孩子；二是孩子没有父亲，会比别的孩子缺少父爱。”若琳陈述客观事实。 “这些一点儿都不是问题，你只要跟韩皓轩结婚，这两个问题便迎刃而解。我说你怎么这么不开窍呢？他到底对你做出什么了，让你就这么痛恨他啊。” “我……”对于韩皓轩强行侵占她的事情若琳实在是觉得难以启齿。 “你什么啊？” “我看到他和他以前的女朋友接吻了。”这也是原因之一，这个原因虽然听上去挺狗血的，但是好歹方便说出口一些。 “这……”馨语实在没想到韩皓轩会做出这等龌龊不堪之事，对他委实有些失望。 “现在不鼓励我跟他在一起了吧？不怂恿我把孩子生下来了吧？” “错了，孩子我还是鼓励你生下来的。因为我想当干妈啊！你养不了孩子，我帮你养。另外给孩子找个爸爸也不是问题。穆景言对你还有意思，他完全能够胜任父亲的角色。”馨语的态度立马来了个一百八十度大转弯，让若琳都差点适应不过来。也不能怨馨语，谁叫她最讨厌朝三暮四的男人呢！当初韩皓轩对她和若琳优柔寡断，磨磨叽叽的，她忍了很久实在忍不住了便提出了分手。没想到韩皓轩又开始老调重弹了。看来太帅的男人还真是靠不住啊。 “亏你想得出来，那对阿穆不公平。你别试图劝我了，孩子我不打算要。” “不行，你得要。人流对身体的摧残很大的，我可不想让你遭受那份罪。” “那只是短暂的痛。如果生下来我才要遭受无尽的摧残呢！把一个孩子从小到大拉扯大多不容易啊。我可不想重蹈我妈的覆辙，我妈太辛苦了。”若琳一直心疼妈妈，妈妈把她和妹妹抚养大太不容易了，她不想重复妈妈的人生。 “唉——”馨语长叹一口气，“好吧，你要是坚持，我也没办法。就是觉得你是我身边第一个流产的好朋友，感觉很难过。让我跟小孩说几句话吧。”说着馨语俯下身，把脸贴着若琳的肚子，“小宝贝儿，我是你干妈。你好吗？记住干妈很爱你。很遗憾你不能来到这个世界上，当然这都要怪你那花心的爸爸和狠心的妈妈……” “馨语，你不要说了。”已经有眼泪在若琳眼中打转了，她实在没办法再听下去了。 “嗯。”馨语抬起头，认真地对若琳说，“你还是仔细考虑几天再作决定吧。不是我危言耸听，人流对女人身体的危害性很大，如果稍有偏差，将来想要孩子都要不上了。另外如果你依旧坚持不要孩子的决定，我会帮你约全市最权威的妇科医生。我一朋友的姐姐就是妇产医院的大夫。” “好的。谢谢你，馨语。”馨语这么为自己着想，若琳心里非常感动。 “咱们是好姐妹嘛，应该的。”馨语笑着拍拍若琳的肩膀。
虽然在若琳那里吃了好几次“闭门羹”，但是韩皓轩并没有善罢甘休，而是采取了循序渐进、敌退我守的温柔攻势。他不仅每天都去问候若琳，不管若琳如何给他冷脸色他都视而不见依旧厚脸皮地对她笑，而且他还费尽力气说服了他那顽固不化的母亲许凌亲自登门向若琳道歉。 而若琳也委实没有想到许凌会来找她。 接到许凌的电话时若琳很是惊讶，许凌以一种若琳从未听到过的温柔口气说：“你好，若琳，我能否见你一面呢？有些事情我想跟你当面谈一谈。” “请问您有什么事情呢？”若琳礼貌地问。 “电话里说不清楚，我们见面说吧。” 若琳找不到理由来拒绝，只好硬着头皮同意了。兵来将挡，水来土掩吧。她猜测许凌应该是知道她怀孕的事情然后才来找她的。但是许凌找她的目的是什么呢？是给她一笔钱让她把孩子做掉不要以此威胁韩皓轩还是让她把孩子生下来好为他们韩家传宗接代呢？ 其实，最近一段时间，若琳一直在认真考虑，究竟要不要把孩子留下来。她推掉了前面自己约的大夫，跟馨语介绍的大夫见了面，那位大夫帮她做了检查后告诉她说，她的体质虚弱，而做人流对身体损害很大，容易引发很多妇科疾病，还说如果这次流产的话保不准以后无法再生育。这对若琳来说无异于晴天霹雳。作为一个女人，如果都不能生孩子，怎么能感受做母亲的滋味呢？于是，若琳犹豫了，她不想让孩子缺乏父爱，但她也