Chapter 3 Chapter 3 Who is by your side when you are helpless
Every Friday night, Ruolin always calls her mother, which is her home phone time.
However, this Friday night, no one answered the phone at home.Ruo Lin felt a little uneasy.Usually at this time, my mother will always be at home waiting for her call, why is she not here today?
She comforted herself again, maybe her mother went to the bathroom just now.
So, after a while, she called home again.
As a result, no one answered!
She dialed several times in a row, but no one answered, Ruolin wandered around the room anxiously.
In the end, she had a quick wit and called the neighbor's house, only then did she know that her mother had been sent to the emergency room of the hospital because she fainted suddenly.The neighbor has already called Ruo Wen, Ruo Lin's younger sister who is studying in City B. Because she doesn't know the specific condition yet, she didn't call Ruo Lin who is out of town, for fear that she might be worried.
Ruolin thanked her neighbor several times, and then called Ruowen.
At this time, Ruowen had just learned about her mother's condition from the hospital, and when she received a call from Ruolin, she choked up and said to Ruolin: "Sister, the doctor said that mother has a heart problem and needs a heart bypass operation... I'm so scared." ...and the doctor said that the surgery cost about 100,000 yuan..."
"Don't worry, I'll buy tickets later, try to go home as early as possible." Although she was also very anxious, Ruolin still tried her best to comfort her sister.
After comforting her sister, Ruolin hung up the phone, then called the editor-in-chief, told the editor-in-chief about the situation at home, and said that the interview about Han Haoxuan might be delayed, and she would also ask for a few days off.
The editor-in-chief was also a reasonable person, and immediately approved Ruolin's vacation.
Fortunately, it was not the rush hour for buying tickets, and Ruo Lin successfully bought the train ticket for that night. Early the next morning, when the train arrived in City B, Ruo Lin got off the train with two dark circles under her eyes.Mom was sick, she was so anxious that she didn't sleep well all night. Ruolin has always been a filial daughter, and her mother has suffered for her and her sister for so many years. She struggled in D City alone for this family. She wants her mother and sister to live a good life, and never have to Worry about daily necessities and tuition fees.But things often don't go the way people want.She was still trying to achieve it when she heard the news that her mother was ill. How could she not be anxious?
After leaving the train station, Ruo Lin took a taxi directly to the hospital where her mother was staying. When Ruolin walked into the ward, her mother Zhou Li was lying quietly on the hospital bed, still sound asleep, her face pale and haggard.The younger sister Ruowen was lying on the side of the bed, her face was turned to the other side, she couldn't see her face clearly, it seemed that she had been guarding here all night. Afraid of waking up other patients, Ruolin walked to the bed very lightly.She squatted quietly next to her younger sister, looking at her mother on the hospital bed. She looked much thinner than before, and the corners of her eyes were covered with fine wrinkles, like winding streams, criss-crossing at the corners of her eyes. Ruo Lin's heart felt sour and her eyes were astringent.It was not easy for her mother to pull her and her sister, and she also worried a lot about them, and now the illness has come to her mother again.Ruolin felt that fate was too unfair, but she still had to accept the fact and find a way to raise the surgery fee.
Ruowen moved, as if she woke up, she opened her eyes slightly.Seeing Ruolin, just as she was about to speak, Ruolin put her finger to her lips and made a silent movement. They walked out of the ward and sat down on the bench in the hospital. Ruowen felt her whole body was numb, and her arm was almost numb from the headrest. She gently kneaded her arm with her hands. "Sister, you're back so soon?" Perhaps because she just woke up, Ruowen's tone was a bit vague. Although Ruolin said that she would buy tickets last night, Ruowen still didn't expect Ruolin to come back so soon.Ruo Lin must have been very tired from the car ride last night, she looked like she hadn't slept well all night, her eyes were dark circles, and there was a bit of tiredness in her clear eyes, but she deliberately cheered up.Ruowen felt sorry for her sister's appearance, tears rolled in her eyes, but she forced herself not to let them fall.At this critical moment, the most important thing is the mother's body. Ruolin took Ruowen's arm, kneaded it gently for her, and said, "I rushed back overnight. How is Mom's situation now?" "The situation is fairly stable." Ruowen said softly, and after a long time of murmuring, she said, "It's just about the surgery fee." "I'll figure out the cost of the operation, you just study your book carefully." Ruolin patted Ruowen's shoulder with her hand, with a slight smile on her face, as if telling Ruowen not to worry. Ruolin didn't want to delay Ruowen's studies because of this matter. After all, she was still in high school, so she was already under pressure to go to university.She just wants to let herself bear this difficulty, no matter how difficult it is, she must bear it bravely alone. In fact, when Ruowen said on the phone that the operation fee would cost 100,000 yuan, Ruolin was really shocked. She had only been working for two years, and her savings were very small. She really didn't know where to raise so much money. Although Xin Yu's family background is good, it is not her own money after all.So Ruolin only borrowed 30,000 yuan from Xin Yu.Xin Yu is a member of the Moonlight Clan, and Ruo Lin finds it difficult to ask her to borrow so much from her.But Xinyu agreed without saying a word after learning about the situation, and told Ruolin that if she needs other help, just ask.He even said that if the medical conditions in city B can't keep up, they can come to city D for treatment.She will introduce the best heart specialist in the city to Ruolin, so that Ruolin can relax. Ruolin is very pleased to have such a friend who treats each other honestly and shares weal and woe. As for the rest of the money, Ruo Lin has not thought of how to raise it yet, and she is also a little anxious.
When Ruolin walked into the ward again, Zhou Li had already woken up and was lying quietly on the bed.When she saw Ruolin, her eyes suddenly brightened, and she sat up hastily.Ruolin walked over and put the pillow up on Zhou Li's back, letting her lean on it. "Ruo Lin..." Zhou Li was very excited when she saw Ruo Lin, and she didn't know what to say.After all, she hadn't seen Ruolin for several months, of course she missed her daughter! "Mom, I'm back." Ruo Lin bent down and gently lay on Zhou Li's chest.Leaning in her mother's arms, she seemed to have regained the warmth she hadn't had for a long time. She felt that she was back when she was a child, and she liked to rub against her mother's arms like a child, as if she didn't have to be afraid of anything when she hid in her mother's arms. "Child." Zhou Li stroked Ruolin's head with her callused hands, and the corners of her eyes became moist. "Mom, just stay here and recuperate well. I will find a way to deal with the money." Ruo Lin raised her head and said. "We have really dragged you down these years." Zhou Li sighed and said in a low voice. "Mom, what are you talking about?" Ruo Lin said in a slightly reproachful tone, she sat up straight, looked at Zhou Li with a sad face, and continued, "Mom, we are a family, don't say such things .I can make money outside by myself, and I have some savings, so you don't have to worry about it." "Alas!" Zhou Li sighed heavily again. She didn't know that Ruo Lin was not easy to be away alone. Even if she had savings, it was not much, and how could she be able to pay for her expensive medical expenses in hospital. "Mom..." Ruo Lin held Zhou Li's hand and said in a long voice, "You can rest assured." She made an expression that it was no big deal. In fact, where could Ruolin find a solution? She and her younger sister had borrowed a lot from relatives for their school tuition, and some of them hadn't been repaid. How could she borrow again?At this time, she wished so much that someone with good intentions could help her and solve her urgent need, but she knew in her heart that this was just her fantasy, because there is no pie in the sky. She is very worried and anxious now, but she tells herself that she must not show her inner fragility in front of her mother.In this situation, she has to be stronger. If even she is down, how can this family survive?She dared not imagine.She just kept telling herself that she should try her best to raise the operation fee as soon as possible. Only now did she fully understand what it was like to be powerless.
Throughout the day, Ruolin stayed by Zhou Li's bedside, almost never leaving her. During the period, she went to the doctor to ask about her mother's detailed condition, and the doctor said that she should rest for a week before undergoing surgery.That meant she had to raise that amount of money within a week. Looking at her mother's old face, Ruolin's heart was filled with sorrow.At this time, how she wished that her father could be by her side, give her a shoulder to rely on, and give her some comfort, but everything was just a fantasy.The sorrow in her heart can only be swallowed alone, and then slowly smoothed, melted away, and silently turned into an infinite motivation in her heart. In the evening, Ruolin asked Ruowen to go back to rest, and she waited in the hospital all night. She didn't sleep well at all, and woke up several times at night.She felt sleepy, but she just couldn't fall asleep. Maybe lying on the bed was uncomfortable, maybe she had something on her mind. In short, when she woke up in the morning, she only felt that her eyelids were heavy, and she seemed to be unable to open them. Seeing her daughter's exhausted appearance, Zhou Li was very distressed, so she advised her to go back and have a good sleep.At first, Ruolin refused to say no, but she obediently agreed under Zhou Li's persuasion.Then call Ruowen and ask her to come to the hospital to take care of her mother. After getting everything in order, Ruolin told Ruowen a few words and then took the bus home.
Ruo Lin didn't know how many stops she had taken, she fell asleep in the car in a daze, and when the driver reminded her to get off at the final stop, she didn't realize that she had already passed the stop.She secretly complained. But this stop was unfamiliar to her, she looked around anxiously, thinking whether she should take this bus back, when a clear voice sounded beside her ears: "Shen Ruolin?" There was a hint of surprise in her tone. Ruolin felt that this voice was very familiar, as if it was her favorite voice in the past.She turned her head, and sure enough, she heard correctly, it was him. His face was still so handsome, with a bit of mature charm added to his face, exuding an invisible charm, even more charming than at the party last year, and the casual suit he was wearing made him tall and straight.He looked at Ruolin, a gleam of joy flashed in his eyes. Although being able to see him at this moment, Ruo Lin felt a little overjoyed.But she found that she no longer dodged her eyes when looking at him, and she no longer blushed and felt embarrassed when she saw him as before, as if standing in front of her was just an ordinary old classmate.
This man who had left a deep impression on her when she was young, but seeing him this time, she didn't feel her heart fluttering anymore.Even Ruolin herself felt a little unbelievable.Did she grow up, or was time so strong that it erased the feeling of the first love?Or maybe there are other reasons? The secret love at that time was beautiful in Ruolin's heart, pure and innocent, like a clear lake, extremely transparent, and he was the most beautiful reflection on the lake surface, she was so quietly rippling in the center of the lake in her dreams.She shook and shook, and one day, she realized that the reflection was broken and rippled by the wind.At that time, she realized that the reflection was just a reflection after all, no matter how long she was by his side, she couldn't touch it, and was finally taken away by the wind, leaving nothing behind. Therefore, when he was in college, he filled in the K university, and she filled in the D university. The two universities are far apart.She wanted to forget him through time and space. The relationship she concealed was too long and deep, and now she recalls it as clearly as yesterday.At that time, she didn't understand, thinking that she only had him in her heart, and she would get his heart one day.Only now did she realize that her previous thoughts were so naive and ridiculous. Love is not wishful thinking, but your love and my wish. Although I was willing when I fell in love secretly, I also enjoyed the sweetness of liking someone silently.But the one-man show is too lonely after all, without a trace of warmth, it is useless to indulge in it.Perhaps, she gradually alienated this lonely one-man show unconsciously.
The scene of the party last year unconsciously came to Ruolin's mind, she thought to herself, he should be living happily now. Looking at Mu Jingyan who had made her deeply infatuated in front of her, Ruolin smiled and said, "What a coincidence, are you also waiting for the bus?" "En." Mu Jingyan responded in a low voice. "Are you still working here?" Ruolin asked. "I was just transferred to City D." Mu Jingyan replied. "City D?" Ruo Lin said in surprise, paused for a while, and said, "I'm also there." "What a coincidence, I'll treat you to dinner if you're free." Mu Jingyan said politely. "Okay." Ruolin agreed. She couldn't help smiling, Mu Jingyan used to be a relatively silent person, always treated people with a cold look, like an untouchable iceberg, no one could melt him.But now he has been melted by the society. Although he is not very talkative, he is not very talkative. When others talk to him, he is no longer indifferent.However, Ruolin really likes him now, and she doesn't have to worry about the other party not saying a word when chatting. The bus came, and it happened that Mu Jingyan wanted to take this bus, so he sat with Ruolin for a few stops.Looking at Ruolin's deep dark circles, he couldn't help but say, "It seems you're not in good spirits." "My mother was sick and stayed in the hospital all night." Ruo Lin rubbed her eyes, she didn't notice her dark circles just now, she felt a little embarrassed when Mu Jingyan said that.In front of the man he likes, who doesn't want to appear in the best posture?Even if this man was just her crush when she was young. "Then you should pay more attention to your body." Mu Jingyan said with concern. Ruolin just smiled wryly, then changed the subject and said, "Why are you back?" "I just came back to do something." Mu Jingyan replied, then he turned his head to look at Ruolin with a tired face, and said softly, "If you have any difficulties, you can tell me." When she was in high school, Mu Jingyan learned from her classmates that Ruolin came from a single family and had to apply for a tuition reduction. The family was very difficult.Now looking at her slightly frowned brows and tired face, Mu Jingyan can guess about eight or nine points. Ruo Lin raised her heavy eyelids, looked at Mu Jingyan, and found that there was a bit of sincerity in his eyes.She began to hesitate to tell him about her mother's illness.After struggling for a while, she finally said: "My mother is sick and needs a sum of money..." She stopped suddenly, her bright eyes dimmed. How can it be controlled.She gently closed her eyes and leaned her head on the back of the chair. At this moment, she felt powerless, like a puddle of mud.She didn't know how to say the next words, she didn't intend to borrow money from Mu Jingyan, but as soon as the words came out, she regretted a little. "Do you need my help?" Mu Jingyan asked gently. "..." Ruo Lin slowly opened her eyes, and said firmly, "No need." "They're all old classmates. Is there anything else to worry about?" Mu Jingyan knew that she would be brave. She was like this when she was in school, and she refused when her classmates offered to donate money to her for tuition.But no matter what she said, he still felt that he should do something at this moment.He looked at Ruolin's pretty face, and said, "It's just a loan. It's not like you won't pay me back, so let me let you go first." Then he added casually, "You know, Now that the bank interest rate is so low, it is better to use it to do something good.” Ruolin thought for a while, then nodded, pursing her dry and thin lips tightly. When Ruolin told the amount that his mother was still short of surgery, Mu Jingyan hesitated for a moment. Seeing him like this, Ruolin didn't want to embarrass him, and just wanted to say "no need", but Mu Jingyan smiled and said: " Can." Ruolin didn't expect Mu Jingyan to agree immediately, and their friendship was not deep, but it was a good thing to borrow money, and her mother's illness was also cured.Her tense strings were only slightly relaxed at this time. What she thought couldn't be solved, she didn't expect to be solved so easily; she thought that no one would help her, but it miraculously appeared.She is very grateful to Mu Jingyan, and grateful for his presence.However, repaying the money has become a big problem.However, she doesn't have so much energy to think about these things now, she just wants to go back and have a good sleep.Because she has not slept well for two consecutive nights.
After returning home, Ruolin threw her head up on the bed and soon fell asleep. After sleeping for an unknown amount of time, Ruolin was awakened by the ringing of her mobile phone. She only felt that her head was heavy and her body was light, as if she was lying on a pile of cotton. She reluctantly opened her eyes, muttered something, and reached for her phone.As soon as she looked at the caller ID, her drowsiness immediately diminished a lot. However, he hasn't contacted her for several days, what is he calling now?Could it be that you are here to urge the interview draft?Ruo Lin secretly figured it out. She let the phone ring for a while before pressing the answer button. "Are you home?" Han Haoxuan's voice became a little hoarse, as if he was a little unhappy. "Yes." Ruolin replied.She didn't understand which spell Han Haoxuan had learned, but she knew that she had gone home. Ruolin felt strange and asked, "When did you become so supernatural?" "You know that my magic power is boundless!" Han Haoxuan laughed in a low voice, "If you are Monkey King, I am Tathagata Buddha. You will never leave my sight." "Don't be numb, I'm very sleepy now, my eyelids are clenched, so don't murder my precious life, okay?" Instead of talking to him endlessly, it's better to fall asleep. "Seriously, am I that insignificant to you? You should at least tell me about your mother's illness and hospitalization, right?" Han Haoxuan's tone suddenly became extremely serious.
In fact, for a while, Han Haoxuan was surrounded by an inexplicable sense of frustration. First, Ruo Lin told him that he wanted to be a stranger again, and then he thought that the interview would ease the relationship between the two of them. , she kept using honorifics to him, really treating him like a stranger!Immediately afterwards, she returned to her hometown because her mother was ill, and she didn't even say hello to him!It wasn't until he took the initiative to ask Xin Yu that he managed to get a little truth out of her. What frustrates him is that Ruolin can really treat him like a stranger. What made him even more frustrated was that he couldn't treat Ruo Lin as a stranger! He tried his best to learn from Ruolin, forgot about this blind date, and acted as if nothing had happened, trying to put all his energy on work, but Ruolin's image always popped up in his mind unexpectedly. He even forced himself to go on a date with Xinyu, trying to forget Ruolin through other women, but he found that he couldn't do it at all. He would always mention Ruolin in his conversations with Xinyu, so that several times, even He himself found that Xin Yu's complexion was not very good-looking. Han Haoxuan once considered the reason why Ruolin didn't even want to be friends with him.He felt that it wasn't that Ruolin didn't like him, but that Ruolin was worrying about something. However, in his opinion, love is not a great abandonment but a relentless pursuit. Now that he has found the ideal person, why should he give up so easily? ? The reason why he called Ruo Lin was not only to care about Ruo Lin's mother's condition, but also to know what Ruo Lin was worried about.
"What? How did you know?" Ruo Lin felt even more strange.Not only did he know that she had returned home, but he also knew that she had returned home because her mother was sick.He could only learn from two people, either the editor-in-chief or Xin Yu.She felt that the editor-in-chief had no reason to tell Han Haoxuan, unless Han Haoxuan went to urge the manuscript, the editor-in-chief had no choice but to tell him.But if it is to urge the manuscript, it is better to directly urge Ruolin, the executor, to be more effective.Han Haoxuan will not fail to understand this simple truth. Then, there is only one possibility left, that he got the news from Xin Yu.However, she clearly told Xin Yu not to mention her in front of Han Haoxuan in the future!However, Xinyu doesn't have to mention it, but Han Haoxuan doesn't have to ask!Ruo Lin turned her head and realized that she was really stupid. "Don't worry about how I know, don't you care about my feelings at all? I never give interviews to the media, and I suddenly accept interviews from you, do you know why? Because I don't want to miss you! I don't want us to really Be a stranger!" "Love is a mutual wish. I'm sorry, Mr. Han, I can only treat you as a stranger." Ruolin said pretending to be calm.God knows how much courage it took for her to say those words. "Okay..." Han Haoxuan sighed helplessly, "Before we become strangers again, if you need me to help you, just ask, for example, if there is a financial problem..." Ruolin understands the meaning behind the words.He probably wanted to lend a helping hand to her mother. "No need." Ruolin said succinctly, before hanging up the phone, she didn't forget to add a sentence, "Thank you for your kindness, please don't contact me if you have nothing to do." In this way, Han Haoxuan was rejected again, he moved the phone away from his ear, and as the screen of the phone went dark, his heart darkened little by little.
Here, Ruo Lin who hung up the phone was also covered in worry.She didn't know what else Han Haoxuan asked Xin Yu. If he often asked her for news about himself, then... Ruolin didn't dare to think about it anymore. She didn't want her friend to suffer any harm, so she immediately Call Xinyu. "Xin Yu, has Han Haoxuan been looking for you these two days?" Ruo Lin asked bluntly. "En." Xin Yu's voice sounded a little low. "What's the matter?" Ruo Lin knew Xin Yu's temper, and there was almost nothing that could make her like this. It must be Han Haoxuan who made her unhappy. "When he was dating me, he always asked me about you from time to time. If I don't answer, he will ask again next time. I'm really helpless, so I have to tell him." Xin Yu said complainingly, and then, on the phone After dawdling there for a long time, he asked in a low voice, "He doesn't like you, does he?" This question has been circling in Xin Yu's mind for a long time. At first, she didn't think about it, but then Han Haoxuan's behavior made her feel a little strange.Every time Han Haoxuan calls her or asks her out, in addition to talking about their common hobbies, he will subtly ask her about Ruo Lin's situation, which makes her think wildly. "What's wrong?" Ruo Lin quickly denied. Her worry was indeed right, who would not think about it when this happened? "That's weird." Xin Yu is the kind of straight-hearted person who likes to say whatever is on her mind. "Don't think about it, since your real man has appeared, then hold on tight to him." Ruo Lin said. "That's right, maybe I've been thinking too much these two days." Xin Yu began to doubt her own judgment, thinking that Han Haoxuan talked a lot about each other when they were together, and she only asked Ruolin a few words, Probably because I have become sensitive to think so. Hearing what Xin Yu said, Ruolin's worries just now disappeared a lot. She was really afraid that Xin Yu would continue to think wildly.Otherwise, the decision she made would be meaningless at all.She is really glad that Xin Yu is the kind of person who can see everything, otherwise the situation would not know how bad it is.
"By the way, is Auntie feeling better?" Xin Yu began to change the subject, concerned about Ruolin's problem. "My mother's condition is fairly stable, and she will have surgery in a week." "Is that enough money? Otherwise, I'll call you some more. I just got some from my parents." "No need, someone came to help." Ruolin said with a smile. "Who?" Xin Yu asked curiously. "I saw him on my way home. Guess who it is." Ruo Lin's tone was filled with joy.She thinks it is a very happy thing to see her former crush when she returns home this time. Even if she is no longer tempted, the innocence and beauty of the first love still remains in her heart. "Could it be that brother Mu of yours?" Xin Yu raised her voice and asked. "Well, it used to be." Ruolin replied lightly. "Hey, don't emphasize the past to me. Whether it was in the past or the present, it is a kind of fate to meet you. Boldly speak out the love in your heart, and don't bury your feelings in your heart anymore." When Xin Yu heard Ruo Lin's story about Brother Mu's past, she almost cried.She felt that Ruolin was really stupid. She liked someone and had been secretly in love for so long, but she refused to speak out. "I feel like I'm no longer who I used to be." Ruo Lin said what was in her heart, thought for a while, and continued, "I don't know why my heart stopped skipping half a beat because of him." "That's because you couldn't count when you saw your brother Mu's brain suddenly lack of oxygen." Xin Yu couldn't help laughing on the other end of the phone. "Xin Yu..." Ruo Lin blamed slightly. "I don't blame you. When we meet someone who makes our heart beat, our will doesn't belong to us. It's normal." Xin Yu stopped laughing and added, "I can totally understand your reaction." understand." "Xin Yu..." Ruo Lin helplessly called Xin Yu again. She felt that Xin Yu was getting more and more blackened, and the more she said it, the more nonsensical she was, so she didn't want to continue talking about this topic.
In the next few days, Ruolin and her younger sister took turns staying beside their mother, taking good care of her. During this period, Han Haoxuan called Ruo Lin a few times, but she didn't answer, she wanted to make herself more decisive.She knew that if she didn't give him a chance, she would give herself peace and Xinyu peace of mind. Mu Jingyan also contacted Ruolin, not only transferred 70,000 yuan into Ruolin's account, but also visited her mother in the hospital.
When Mu Jingyan appeared at the door of the ward, Ruolin felt a little surprised.When he asked her mother's hospital on the phone, she thought it was a polite word, but she didn't expect him to come. Holding a bouquet of carnations in one hand and a fruit basket in the other, he walked towards Zhou Li's hospital bed. "Auntie, hello." Mu Jingyan approached, greeted Zhou Li, and handed the gift to Ruolin. "Thank you." Ruo Lin took the flower and fruit basket from Mu Jingyan's hand. "Who is this?" Zhou Li asked suspiciously. "Oh, he's my high school classmate Mu Jingyan." Ruo Lin quickly explained, lest her mother misunderstand. "Just call me Xiao Mu." Mu Jingyan smiled. "Sit down, Xiao Mu." Zhou Li pointed to a chair beside the bed and said to Mu Jingyan. "Thank you, auntie." Mu Jingyan sat down as he said. "Why is this kid so polite?" Zhou Li laughed. Afterwards, Mu Jingyan and Zhou Li chatted for a few words, nothing more than commonplace things like where they live and where they work now, but they chatted very happily.Zhou Li's complexion looked very good, as if there was a strange look on her face. After a while, Ruolin was afraid that her mother would get tired from talking too much, so she asked her to lie down and rest, and Mu Jingyan also took the opportunity to leave.
After helping her mother to lie down, Ruo Lin sent Mu Jingyan out. "This time, it's really thanks to your help, and thank you for coming to see my mother." Thank you from the bottom of my heart. "Old classmate, this little busyness is nothing to worry about. Don't take it to heart." "Still... thank you very much." "Hehe, besides thank you, can you say something else?" "Uh..." It was only then that Ruo Lin realized that she was the one who was speechless in front of him.She didn't know what else to say besides thanking him now. "By the way, tomorrow is the 60th anniversary of No. 1 Middle School. Are you going?" Mu Jingyan asked seemingly casually, but he could hear the faint expectation.No. 1 Middle School is their alma mater, and it is also the campus where he spent three years with her. "Oh, many old classmates will be there tomorrow. We haven't seen each other for a long time, and we can catch up with each other." Seeing Ruolin's hesitant expression, Mu Jingyan added. "If there is no accident tomorrow, I will go there." Ruo Lin thought about it, too. Since graduating from high school, we have had too few opportunities to meet each other, and it's no wonder that I missed some old classmates.In addition to the rare 60th anniversary celebration, it is not a bad idea to visit the alma mater. "Then it's settled, we'll see you then. If you don't change your mind, I'll wait for you at the school gate at ten o'clock tomorrow morning." Mu Jingyan said. Ruolin nodded with a smile.
The next day, after Ruolin made arrangements for her mother, she took the bus directly to No. 1 Middle School. After getting off the bus, Ruo Lin saw Mu Jingyan standing at the door of No. 1 Middle School from a distance. The morning sun bathed him, and his black hair seemed to be plated with a touch of gold. As if time had not gone far, as if he was still her favorite boy in the past. Ruo Lin walked towards him slowly, feeling as if she was walking back to her girlhood, walking towards a dream. "You're here." Mu Jingyan's words shattered Ruolin's dream. "Well. You came so early." "I've just arrived, too. Let's go in." The two walked into the familiar high school campus side by side. "Shen Ruolin!" A loud and clear voice suddenly sounded, and immediately after, Ruolin received a slap on the shoulder. No need to look at the deity, Ruolin can guess with her toes, who is the one who stretched out her claws.Besides Tian Jing, the best classmate in high school, who else could there be? "Tian Jing, you are still the same, you are always so special when you say hello." Ruo Lin turned her head. Sure enough, it was Tian Jing. She had not changed much from her high school appearance, she still had short hair, and the dimples at the corners of her mouth were faintly visible when she smiled, making her look very sweet.But she is a typical "misname", she is not quiet at all. "Hey, isn't this the handsome guy Mu from our class? What wind brought you here?" Tian Jing was a little surprised when he saw Mu Jingyan beside Ruolin.In her impression, Mu Jingyan was a bit cold, not very gregarious, and basically would not participate in activities such as class reunions. "I just came back to do some errands, and it's time for the school's 60th anniversary..." "Don't explain, I already know the reason." Before Mu Jingyan finished speaking, Tian Jing said first, "Now Ruolin is working in D city, I heard that you also applied to be transferred to D city, isn't the reason obvious?" After finishing speaking, Tian Jing also gave Ruo Lin a meaningful smile, implying "When did you start, the speed is quite fast". Ruolin knew that Tian Jing must have misunderstood, and it was hard for Mu Jingyan to say anything to Tian Jing when she was by her side, so she just smiled and pretended to be bored. "Don't disturb the two of you revisiting the campus time. Ruolin, turn around, let's get together again." Naturally, Tian Jing didn't want to play the role of a light bulb, and said goodbye to Ruolin soon. "Tian Jing..." Ruo Lin still felt a little embarrassed. "What?" Tian Jing had already walked a few steps away, then turned her head and looked at Ruo Lin. "Anyway, it's not what you think." Ruo Lin walked over and whispered to her. "Don't explain. You two are really 'not a family, don't enter the family'. Both of you like to make excuses. If you like it, you like it, and you talk so much nonsense. You both say that the fat and water don't flow to outsiders. The best handsome guy on the Internet finally fell into your house. To be honest, I am very happy for you." "You really misunderstood, there is really nothing between me and him." Ruo Lin tried her best to defend herself. "I don't care whether it's steamed or boiled. You can only be called Tian Jing's good sister if you take him down in the end. Well, I won't waste your time. Go bravely and pursue true love!" Tian Jing put her mouth together. Said in Ruo Lin's ear.
Looking at Tian Jing's receding figure, Ruolin couldn't help thinking of some past times. Ruolin still remembers that Tian Jing used to always tease her, saying that she liked others but dared not admit it.She was indeed like that at that time, she thought that no one would know her meticulous thoughts, but some small expressions and emotions of hers were discovered by the sharp-eyed Tian Jing, but she denied it.Only in this way can she feel that this is a secret that belongs to her alone, hidden in her heart, whether it is bitter or sweet, it is up to her to taste it alone.
At that time, she always got up very early and came to study in the school corridor.There is a small river in front of the promenade, and many weeping willows have been picked and planted along the river. Especially in spring, when the wind blows gently, the scenery of the weeping willows floating slightly on the bank is really beautiful.However, in Ruolin's view, the most beautiful scenery is Mu Jingyan who is sitting in the corner of the promenade and earnestly reading in the morning. Every time she reads, she will pretend to be very serious, but her thoughts fly to Mu Jingyan unknowingly, and then subconsciously raise her head and secretly glance at Mu Jingyan in the distance.She dared not sit too close to him for fear that he might notice.Fortunately, the conscientious Mu Jingyan only focused on studying, and didn't realize that there was a girl who used to sit in an inconspicuous place and watch him silently every day for him, whether it was hot summer or cold winter.When I see him sneezing, I worry about whether he has a cold, and when I see his red hands, I worry about whether I will get frostbite...
They were in the same class, Ruolin sat in the front of the classroom, and Mu Jingyan was already taller than the average boys at that time, so he was arranged to sit in the back. When get out of class was over, Ruolin would turn her head to talk to the people in the back seat, and glance at Mu Jingyan who was sitting in the back from the corner of her eyes.Mu Jingyan doesn't like to go out to play like other boys, he spends most of the time doing exercises in his seat without making a sound.Sometimes the brows are slightly wrinkled, and sometimes the brows are stretched, probably solving a difficult problem, and then he conquered it.Ruolin just stared at the various subtle expressions on his handsome face like this, she seemed to be immersed in his world, sometimes she couldn't help but want to go up to talk to him, but she knew that was absolutely impossible of. 因为穆景言在他们班成绩拔尖，是老师眼中的优等生，而若琳成绩平平，因为家境的关系，她甚至有些自卑。她还记得那时就有很多女生喜欢他，给他写情书。她也曾嫉妒过，但她却一直没有勇气提笔。她知道，她的世界太贫瘠，她没有足够的资本追求这份感情。她只能这般默默地注视他。
有时，她觉得天天看到他，也是一种幸福。 她也曾想过不再这样仰视他，要跟他站在同一道起跑线上，但是，经过她的努力，一切无果，她便放弃了心中仅存的一点希冀。 注定，他是个相貌英俊的优等生；而她，只是个经常沉默又有些自卑的普通女生。 她觉得，他的世界离他那么远，仿佛隔着天堂的距离，她始终无法触及，即使踮起脚，触摸到的也只是飘着的浮云。她这段暗恋的结局终究是一场虚无。 但，纵使这样，她心中暗生的情愫依旧没有丝毫的减弱，她仍然留意他，甚至，天天为他写日记。 那厚厚的一本日记里全都记满了他，他说话时细微的神态，他不经意的动作，他的声音，他的笑容……若琳都不曾放过。日记的字里行间都渗透着她对他温暖的情愫。很多想跟他说却没说的话她都写了下来，隔日看时仍会觉得很甜蜜。 虽然那时她还不知道什么才是爱，但她却体味着思念一个人的甜，即使有些涩，她仍乐在其中。
若琳强迫自己从回忆中抽身出来，转头看了看站在自己旁边的穆景言，不禁笑了笑。 她真的不明白随着自己阅历的增加，那些留存在记忆里的美好画面就那么渐渐流失，直至被时间的洪荒卷走。 那些细微的心动都已是曾经，那些默默的注视也已成为过往里甜蜜的回忆。现在她这么近地看着身旁的他，已经不再如昨日那般思慕。 或许不是刻意遗忘，而是时间久了，再美好的情愫也会悄然淡去。
穆景言不明白她在笑什么，便问：“有什么开心的事吗？” “嗯？”若琳神情恍惚了一下才反应过来，微微笑道，“没什么。” 即使有什么，那也是不必言说的曾经。 “重返学校你有没有什么感触？”穆景言问道。 “想起了以前的很多事，不过，一切都已物是人非。”若琳看着路边走过的学生，不无伤感地说道。 “还记得以前你特别文静，我们在一个班好像都没说过几句话。”穆景言回忆起那时的时光，虽然他只知道整天闷头看书，但回到宿舍总会听到别的男生议论班里的女生，间或他会听上几句，聊到若琳的时候，他总会不自觉地竖起耳朵来听。只因他在班里对她印象最深刻，觉得她长得格外清秀，而且总是默默无闻的，一副不食人间烟火的模样。然而，他却从未察觉到若琳对他投射来的异样目光。 “不是我不跟你说话，是你好像都没跟我们班几个女生说过话。”若琳说道。 “是啊，现在想想，那时的我真是个闷葫芦，在你们看来我是不是个书呆子啊？”穆景言那时候把学业看得比什么都重要，因为，他中考失利，分数不够一中的直接录取分数线，还额外交了不少钱。他咽不下这口气，他并不觉得自己比别人差，所以他刻苦学习，不敢有丝毫的懈怠，所以他从刚进班的倒数第五一直跻身到班里前五。 “你岂是一般的书呆子，简直就是非人类，连一点玩的时间都不给自己。”若琳故作夸张地说道。 “那我的青春不都献给了书本，我觉得我做的牺牲真的是太大了。”穆景言撇了撇嘴，似笑非笑道，“如果再让我选择一次的话……”他停顿了一下，似乎在思索，许久，说，“我还会奉献给书本。” 若琳还以为他会说不再献给书本，不禁被他的话逗笑了，说：“是不是书本成就了今天的你，所以你对它感激不尽啊？” “……”穆景言点了点头，明亮的眼眸闪现一丝笑意。
说话的工夫，他们已经来到了同学们相约聚会的地点——他们以前的教室门口。 不过其他的同学倒不像田静那么八卦，或者说，其他同学并不知道若琳曾经暗恋穆景言的心事，所以看到他俩一起走过来并不感到多么意外，只当他们是偶尔在校园里碰到的。 大家聚在一起说起了各自的近况。看着留在B市的同学都过得还算风生水起，若琳有一瞬间想，如果她毕业后也回家乡，是不是会跟他们一样呢？ 不过，她从来不会后悔自己的决定。不管将来怎样，她会给自己足够的时间去证明自己的价值，实现自己的梦想。
中午，同学们选择在学校食堂里就餐，重温了一下自己的学生时代。 吃完饭，大家基本就分成小帮派，自由活动了。 最后，若琳发现原地就剩下了她和穆景言两个人。他们相视一笑，然后决定到校园里到处转转，。 校庆除了文艺汇演外，就是校长在公众席上讲讲学校创办了这些年的历程，并且请了几位从本校毕业小有成就的人做做报告，并没多大的意思。不过，晚上的那场烟火表演，据说颇为盛大，倒是值得期待。
激动人心的时刻终于到了，烟火突地升起，在黑丝绒般的天幕上绽放开美丽的一束，像盛开的绚丽花朵，璀璨耀眼。 周围有好些人都在欢呼着，热闹一片，明明是夏日，若琳却有过年的感觉。 跟心爱的人一起数星星、看烟火是若琳心中美好的梦想，至今从未实现过。当她转过头，看着脸上被烟火照亮的穆景言，心里却莫名地隐隐一动。他的脸此时看起来无比英俊，像雕塑般，静默着，却又仿佛闪着光，灼得人眼睛有点睁不开。 她以为她的心不会再为他漏跳半拍，但是，在那一瞬间，她竟感觉到了久违的心动。只是，她觉得时间仿佛已经过了很久，有了恍如隔世的感觉。 第一个陪在她身边看烟火的人，竟然是他——曾让她一度痴迷不已的暗恋对象。 以前她曾幻想过，如果有一天他能陪她一起看烟火，她会嫁给他，一辈子都对他好，陪伴他到老。可是，她又何曾想过，终有一天，他真的陪她看烟火了，但是，心境却与幻想时截然不同了。 曾经所谓的一辈子也只是若琳最最美好的幻想，在记忆里盛开出美丽的花。现实却告诉她，那个人只是记忆里的一场梦，终会成空。 她自始至终都只能仰望着他，即使现在他就在自己身边，却感觉离得那么远，仿佛隔着两颗心的距离。
又一束烟火在黑夜里绽放出夺目的光芒，顿时，天空亮如白昼。 若琳忍不住再度转头望向穆景言，他的脸被烟火美丽的光晕笼罩着，是那么的生动而迷人。穆景言突然也转过头来，他俩的眼睛冷不丁地撞上了个正着。他的眼睛分外明亮，眼中含有一丝笑意，笑意慢慢滋长，像不断蔓延的生物般将若琳缠绕，若琳怔了许久才收回呆愣的眼神。然后，她定了定神，继续看在空中绽放的烟火，烟火那么美，一束一束地升腾，但它们终不免散落的命运。它们在空中极尽地释放自己的美丽，但片刻过后，它们还是会凋零，四散开，直至消逝不见。 若琳知道，她心中埋藏的感情不过是再美不过的烟火，在懵懂的年龄绽放，然后在时间的年轮里凋落。而身边的这个人，只不过是她生命里的过客，并不是爱她的那个人。 此情此景，她再次为他心动，她知道，这也只是她的幻觉。幻觉固然美好，却往往会给人带来假象。 若琳看着前面互相拥抱的一对情侣，那般甜蜜，想必他们的脸上应该有着比烟火还要美的笑容。她又何曾不想要一份这样甜蜜的感情。但是，想起自己的生活，想起妈妈的病，她的心开始微微发涩。和她同龄的女孩都在享受着爱情的滋润，而她还在为生活奔波。 不过，对此，她不怨任何人，也不怨命运不公，她默默地接受事实，并努力改变她的现状。
看完烟火，时间不早了。穆景言要送若琳回去，被她婉言谢绝了。 “那我帮你拦辆车。”说着，穆景言就要伸手拦出租车。 “不用了。我待会儿直接去医院，坐公交车挺方便的。”若琳连忙说。现在是用钱最紧张的时候，还是能省即省吧。 不知怎么地，穆景言刚才的那句话竟让若琳突然想起了她和韩皓轩第一次见面的情景。那天晚上，他也是要送她回家，她不肯，然后他说“那我帮你拦辆车”。 若琳摇摇头，努力拂掉与韩皓轩有关的回忆。 “怎么了？很累吗？”穆景言发觉若琳的表情起了变化，不禁关切地问道。 “哦，没什么。”若琳以笑容掩饰。 “我送你到站牌吧，我反正也要从那里乘车回家。”实际上，他要去的地方跟她是相反的方向。 “好的。”如果他是顺便过去，她再拒绝就显得有些牵强了，不妨接受了他的好意。
“你什么时候回D市？”在公交站牌前等车的时候，穆景言问若琳。 “等后天我妈妈做完手术，我才能放心地离开。”若琳有些担心地说。无论什么手术都是有风险存在的，何况是心脏搭桥这样的高难度手术。 “我刚好在这里要待到二十八号才走，你妈妈手术那天，我如果过去陪你，你不会介意吧？”望着若琳疲惫的脸色，穆景言真的想为她分担些什么。 “……”若琳曾设想过妈妈被推进手术室之后，她的状态。是紧张兮兮地对着手术室张望，还是不停地在走廊上走动以减缓内心的焦躁不安，抑或是坐在手术室外的长椅上一边流泪一边等着手术结果的宣布？ 事实上，她需要一个温暖的胸膛，她需要一双有力的双手，她需要能够支撑着她的躯体不让它倒下的力量。 因为，她的内心深处是十分害怕的，害怕手术的失败，更害怕至亲的离去。 “你如果为难的话，我不会勉强……”见若琳迟迟不回复，穆景言只好妥协。她还是那么固执，总是用表面的坚强掩饰内心的脆弱。这样的她，真让他很担心。 “你如果能够过去，我感激不尽。”若琳说道。 若琳的话让穆景言着实有些吃惊。 “其实，该说感谢的那个人，是我。我很荣幸成为陪在你身边和你一起共度难关的人。”穆景言嘴唇动了动，终是将这句话咽了回去。
坐在开往医院的公交车上，若琳的思绪飘到了很远，她没想到她能够十分坦然地面对穆景言，而且就像老朋友一样熟悉而亲切。她也搞不懂，自己为什么愿意接受他的帮助。她不知道自己这么做是不是有些逾越了，毕竟人家也是有女朋友的人了…… 一阵急促的手机铃声打断了若琳的遐思，她将手机从包里拿出来。望着手机屏幕上的名字，她发了一会儿愣，还是按下了接听键。 韩某人，算你今天走运，要不是我今天和年少时最爱的人一起看烟火，心情好，我才不会理你呢！
“你妈妈身体好些了吗？”电话接通后，韩皓轩的声音从电话那端传来。 “还行吧。有什么事儿吗？”若琳有些不耐烦地说。 “你大概什么时候回来？”韩皓轩的语气中有一丝期盼。 “我什么时候回去好像没必要告诉你吧？”虽然接了他的电话，但若琳并不想和他牵扯太多，“还有，我不是跟你说过不要再联系我的吗，你怎么老是给我电话？” “你怎么说是你的事，我怎么做是我的事。”韩皓轩毫不在意地说道。 “随便你。”若琳拿他没办法。 “……”韩皓轩沉默了会儿，笑了笑，说，“我等你回来。” 若琳真搞不懂韩皓轩脑子里在想些什么，她又不是他的某某某，竟跟她说让人发麻的话。他明知道馨语对他有好感，还这样对她。馨语长得又不比她差，家庭条件也比她好。而且，馨语还跟她说他妈妈都见过她了，并对她很满意。若琳就是不明白有这么好的女人在他面前为何不好好珍惜，偏偏会找上自己。她无法理解，她就当他是一时糊涂了，迟早都会清醒的。 “希望你能好好珍惜馨语，她是我的好朋友，我不容许你伤害她。”若琳微微加重了语气，说道。 “我不会伤害任何人，我只珍惜我应该珍惜的人。”韩皓轩轻轻说道。 “……”若琳有刹那的怔忪，握着手机的手不由得微微颤了一下，她感觉到电话那端传来一股暖流，似乎要将她侵蚀，直抵她的内心。她调整了下这个不该有的情绪，握紧手机，声音中有点颤音，轻微却听得清楚，“那……你一定要珍惜馨语。” 也许，若琳心里明白韩皓轩口中那个珍惜的人，但她就是要打断他的那种念头，她要一遍遍地告诉他，馨语才是他最理想的对象。而她，只是个身负债务的穷丫头。 “我该珍惜的那个人，我想，你是知道的。”韩皓轩语气坚定地说。 “……”若琳不明白韩皓轩为什么总是这么自信，总觉得自己的想法是对的，不过，她还是得承认他是个聪明的男人，能猜透别人的心思。但，遇见这样的人也不好，自己想些什么，都无法藏匿。 “你现在在哪儿？怎么那么吵。”韩皓轩在若琳沉默的间隙里听见话筒里吵闹的声音。 “在公车上。”若琳无奈地把头靠在椅背上，用手抚了抚额头，一副怏怏的样子。 “夜晚坐公车观夜景？”韩皓轩戏谑地说道，“跟哪个帅哥在一起，还真浪漫。” “不止一个帅哥，是一群。”若琳看了看自己周围的人，其实，没有一个帅的，但还是这么说了，好像是故意跟韩皓轩较劲。 “有我帅吗？”韩皓轩笑了笑。 “……”若琳开始无语，不想再跟他讲下去，便说，“以后可不可以不要再说这么无聊的话。” “这几天你一直在照顾你妈吧，多注意身体，别让自己累着了。”韩皓轩不理会若琳的言语，转移了话题，语气变得温柔起来。 “谢谢。”若琳不想跟他再狡辩什么，也许一般的客套话才是最好的反击。
若琳到医院的时候，妹妹和邻居孙阿姨都在。 孙阿姨看若琳的脸色不太好，可能是睡眠不足的原因，便让若琳和妹妹若雯一起回去休息，这里有她就可以了。 若琳一开始还坚持要留在这里，但在医院待了一会儿，后来实在撑不住，竟趴在床头睡着了。 孙阿姨说那样容易感冒，执意让她回去。她拗不过，只好和妹妹一起回家了。
回到家后，若琳简单地洗了个澡就上床准备休息。 夏日的晚上依旧有些闷热，窗外吹进丝丝暖风，让她觉得燥热，她翻来覆去睡不着。 她搞不懂怎么在医院困得不行，回来后反而不困了。或许是已经过了最困的临界点了，或许是家里比医院闷热的缘故，又或许是因为某件心事又开始隐隐作祟了。 若琳想不明白，为什么她这样对韩皓轩，他依旧不放弃，还一直缠着她。 其实，有时候，深夜里，她会不经意地想起韩皓轩。他平时一副风度翩翩的样子，有时却也喜欢贫嘴，坏坏的样子。不过，总体上来说，他还算是个比较沉稳的男人…… STOP!若琳告诫自己不要再想下去了。 她现在只希望韩皓轩能好好对馨语，希望他们成为幸福的一对。 但是，她却不知道，爱是不能强求的，能不能在一起并不是一个人说了算，而是两个人的意愿。
Fortunately, it was not the rush hour for buying tickets, and Ruo Lin successfully bought the train ticket for that night. Early the next morning, when the train arrived in City B, Ruo Lin got off the train with two dark circles under her eyes.Mom was sick, she was so anxious that she didn't sleep well all night. Ruolin has always been a filial daughter, and her mother has suffered for her and her sister for so many years. She struggled in D City alone for this family. She wants her mother and sister to live a good life, and never have to Worry about daily necessities and tuition fees.But things often don't go the way people want.She was still trying to achieve it when she heard the news that her mother was ill. How could she not be anxious?
After leaving the train station, Ruo Lin took a taxi directly to the hospital where her mother was staying. When Ruolin walked into the ward, her mother Zhou Li was lying quietly on the hospital bed, still sound asleep, her face pale and haggard.The younger sister Ruowen was lying on the side of the bed, her face was turned to the other side, she couldn't see her face clearly, it seemed that she had been guarding here all night. Afraid of waking up other patients, Ruolin walked to the bed very lightly.She squatted quietly next to her younger sister, looking at her mother on the hospital bed. She looked much thinner than before, and the corners of her eyes were covered with fine wrinkles, like winding streams, criss-crossing at the corners of her eyes. Ruo Lin's heart felt sour and her eyes were astringent.It was not easy for her mother to pull her and her sister, and she also worried a lot about them, and now the illness has come to her mother again.Ruolin felt that fate was too unfair, but she still had to accept the fact and find a way to raise the surgery fee.
Ruowen moved, as if she woke up, she opened her eyes slightly.Seeing Ruolin, just as she was about to speak, Ruolin put her finger to her lips and made a silent movement. They walked out of the ward and sat down on the bench in the hospital. Ruowen felt her whole body was numb, and her arm was almost numb from the headrest. She gently kneaded her arm with her hands. "Sister, you're back so soon?" Perhaps because she just woke up, Ruowen's tone was a bit vague. Although Ruolin said that she would buy tickets last night, Ruowen still didn't expect Ruolin to come back so soon.Ruo Lin must have been very tired from the car ride last night, she looked like she hadn't slept well all night, her eyes were dark circles, and there was a bit of tiredness in her clear eyes, but she deliberately cheered up.Ruowen felt sorry for her sister's appearance, tears rolled in her eyes, but she forced herself not to let them fall.At this critical moment, the most important thing is the mother's body. Ruolin took Ruowen's arm, kneaded it gently for her, and said, "I rushed back overnight. How is Mom's situation now?" "The situation is fairly stable." Ruowen said softly, and after a long time of murmuring, she said, "It's just about the surgery fee." "I'll figure out the cost of the operation, you just study your book carefully." Ruolin patted Ruowen's shoulder with her hand, with a slight smile on her face, as if telling Ruowen not to worry. Ruolin didn't want to delay Ruowen's studies because of this matter. After all, she was still in high school, so she was already under pressure to go to university.She just wants to let herself bear this difficulty, no matter how difficult it is, she must bear it bravely alone. In fact, when Ruowen said on the phone that the operation fee would cost 100,000 yuan, Ruolin was really shocked. She had only been working for two years, and her savings were very small. She really didn't know where to raise so much money. Although Xin Yu's family background is good, it is not her own money after all.So Ruolin only borrowed 30,000 yuan from Xin Yu.Xin Yu is a member of the Moonlight Clan, and Ruo Lin finds it difficult to ask her to borrow so much from her.But Xinyu agreed without saying a word after learning about the situation, and told Ruolin that if she needs other help, just ask.He even said that if the medical conditions in city B can't keep up, they can come to city D for treatment.She will introduce the best heart specialist in the city to Ruolin, so that Ruolin can relax. Ruolin is very pleased to have such a friend who treats each other honestly and shares weal and woe. As for the rest of the money, Ruo Lin has not thought of how to raise it yet, and she is also a little anxious.
When Ruolin walked into the ward again, Zhou Li had already woken up and was lying quietly on the bed.When she saw Ruolin, her eyes suddenly brightened, and she sat up hastily.Ruolin walked over and put the pillow up on Zhou Li's back, letting her lean on it. "Ruo Lin..." Zhou Li was very excited when she saw Ruo Lin, and she didn't know what to say.After all, she hadn't seen Ruolin for several months, of course she missed her daughter! "Mom, I'm back." Ruo Lin bent down and gently lay on Zhou Li's chest.Leaning in her mother's arms, she seemed to have regained the warmth she hadn't had for a long time. She felt that she was back when she was a child, and she liked to rub against her mother's arms like a child, as if she didn't have to be afraid of anything when she hid in her mother's arms. "Child." Zhou Li stroked Ruolin's head with her callused hands, and the corners of her eyes became moist. "Mom, just stay here and recuperate well. I will find a way to deal with the money." Ruo Lin raised her head and said. "We have really dragged you down these years." Zhou Li sighed and said in a low voice. "Mom, what are you talking about?" Ruo Lin said in a slightly reproachful tone, she sat up straight, looked at Zhou Li with a sad face, and continued, "Mom, we are a family, don't say such things .I can make money outside by myself, and I have some savings, so you don't have to worry about it." "Alas!" Zhou Li sighed heavily again. She didn't know that Ruo Lin was not easy to be away alone. Even if she had savings, it was not much, and how could she be able to pay for her expensive medical expenses in hospital. "Mom..." Ruo Lin held Zhou Li's hand and said in a long voice, "You can rest assured." She made an expression that it was no big deal. In fact, where could Ruolin find a solution? She and her younger sister had borrowed a lot from relatives for their school tuition, and some of them hadn't been repaid. How could she borrow again?At this time, she wished so much that someone with good intentions could help her and solve her urgent need, but she knew in her heart that this was just her fantasy, because there is no pie in the sky. She is very worried and anxious now, but she tells herself that she must not show her inner fragility in front of her mother.In this situation, she has to be stronger. If even she is down, how can this family survive?She dared not imagine.She just kept telling herself that she should try her best to raise the operation fee as soon as possible. Only now did she fully understand what it was like to be powerless.
Throughout the day, Ruolin stayed by Zhou Li's bedside, almost never leaving her. During the period, she went to the doctor to ask about her mother's detailed condition, and the doctor said that she should rest for a week before undergoing surgery.That meant she had to raise that amount of money within a week. Looking at her mother's old face, Ruolin's heart was filled with sorrow.At this time, how she wished that her father could be by her side, give her a shoulder to rely on, and give her some comfort, but everything was just a fantasy.The sorrow in her heart can only be swallowed alone, and then slowly smoothed, melted away, and silently turned into an infinite motivation in her heart. In the evening, Ruolin asked Ruowen to go back to rest, and she waited in the hospital all night. She didn't sleep well at all, and woke up several times at night.She felt sleepy, but she just couldn't fall asleep. Maybe lying on the bed was uncomfortable, maybe she had something on her mind. In short, when she woke up in the morning, she only felt that her eyelids were heavy, and she seemed to be unable to open them. Seeing her daughter's exhausted appearance, Zhou Li was very distressed, so she advised her to go back and have a good sleep.At first, Ruolin refused to say no, but she obediently agreed under Zhou Li's persuasion.Then call Ruowen and ask her to come to the hospital to take care of her mother. After getting everything in order, Ruolin told Ruowen a few words and then took the bus home.
Ruo Lin didn't know how many stops she had taken, she fell asleep in the car in a daze, and when the driver reminded her to get off at the final stop, she didn't realize that she had already passed the stop.She secretly complained. But this stop was unfamiliar to her, she looked around anxiously, thinking whether she should take this bus back, when a clear voice sounded beside her ears: "Shen Ruolin?" There was a hint of surprise in her tone. Ruolin felt that this voice was very familiar, as if it was her favorite voice in the past.She turned her head, and sure enough, she heard correctly, it was him. His face was still so handsome, with a bit of mature charm added to his face, exuding an invisible charm, even more charming than at the party last year, and the casual suit he was wearing made him tall and straight.He looked at Ruolin, a gleam of joy flashed in his eyes. Although being able to see him at this moment, Ruo Lin felt a little overjoyed.But she found that she no longer dodged her eyes when looking at him, and she no longer blushed and felt embarrassed when she saw him as before, as if standing in front of her was just an ordinary old classmate.
This man who had left a deep impression on her when she was young, but seeing him this time, she didn't feel her heart fluttering anymore.Even Ruolin herself felt a little unbelievable.Did she grow up, or was time so strong that it erased the feeling of the first love?Or maybe there are other reasons? The secret love at that time was beautiful in Ruolin's heart, pure and innocent, like a clear lake, extremely transparent, and he was the most beautiful reflection on the lake surface, she was so quietly rippling in the center of the lake in her dreams.She shook and shook, and one day, she realized that the reflection was broken and rippled by the wind.At that time, she realized that the reflection was just a reflection after all, no matter how long she was by his side, she couldn't touch it, and was finally taken away by the wind, leaving nothing behind. Therefore, when he was in college, he filled in the K university, and she filled in the D university. The two universities are far apart.She wanted to forget him through time and space. The relationship she concealed was too long and deep, and now she recalls it as clearly as yesterday.At that time, she didn't understand, thinking that she only had him in her heart, and she would get his heart one day.Only now did she realize that her previous thoughts were so naive and ridiculous. Love is not wishful thinking, but your love and my wish. Although I was willing when I fell in love secretly, I also enjoyed the sweetness of liking someone silently.But the one-man show is too lonely after all, without a trace of warmth, it is useless to indulge in it.Perhaps, she gradually alienated this lonely one-man show unconsciously.
The scene of the party last year unconsciously came to Ruolin's mind, she thought to herself, he should be living happily now. Looking at Mu Jingyan who had made her deeply infatuated in front of her, Ruolin smiled and said, "What a coincidence, are you also waiting for the bus?" "En." Mu Jingyan responded in a low voice. "Are you still working here?" Ruolin asked. "I was just transferred to City D." Mu Jingyan replied. "City D?" Ruo Lin said in surprise, paused for a while, and said, "I'm also there." "What a coincidence, I'll treat you to dinner if you're free." Mu Jingyan said politely. "Okay." Ruolin agreed. She couldn't help smiling, Mu Jingyan used to be a relatively silent person, always treated people with a cold look, like an untouchable iceberg, no one could melt him.But now he has been melted by the society. Although he is not very talkative, he is not very talkative. When others talk to him, he is no longer indifferent.However, Ruolin really likes him now, and she doesn't have to worry about the other party not saying a word when chatting. The bus came, and it happened that Mu Jingyan wanted to take this bus, so he sat with Ruolin for a few stops.Looking at Ruolin's deep dark circles, he couldn't help but say, "It seems you're not in good spirits." "My mother was sick and stayed in the hospital all night." Ruo Lin rubbed her eyes, she didn't notice her dark circles just now, she felt a little embarrassed when Mu Jingyan said that.In front of the man he likes, who doesn't want to appear in the best posture?Even if this man was just her crush when she was young. "Then you should pay more attention to your body." Mu Jingyan said with concern. Ruolin just smiled wryly, then changed the subject and said, "Why are you back?" "I just came back to do something." Mu Jingyan replied, then he turned his head to look at Ruolin with a tired face, and said softly, "If you have any difficulties, you can tell me." When she was in high school, Mu Jingyan learned from her classmates that Ruolin came from a single family and had to apply for a tuition reduction. The family was very difficult.Now looking at her slightly frowned brows and tired face, Mu Jingyan can guess about eight or nine points. Ruo Lin raised her heavy eyelids, looked at Mu Jingyan, and found that there was a bit of sincerity in his eyes.She began to hesitate to tell him about her mother's illness.After struggling for a while, she finally said: "My mother is sick and needs a sum of money..." She stopped suddenly, her bright eyes dimmed. How can it be controlled.She gently closed her eyes and leaned her head on the back of the chair. At this moment, she felt powerless, like a puddle of mud.She didn't know how to say the next words, she didn't intend to borrow money from Mu Jingyan, but as soon as the words came out, she regretted a little. "Do you need my help?" Mu Jingyan asked gently. "..." Ruo Lin slowly opened her eyes, and said firmly, "No need." "They're all old classmates. Is there anything else to worry about?" Mu Jingyan knew that she would be brave. She was like this when she was in school, and she refused when her classmates offered to donate money to her for tuition.But no matter what she said, he still felt that he should do something at this moment.He looked at Ruolin's pretty face, and said, "It's just a loan. It's not like you won't pay me back, so let me let you go first." Then he added casually, "You know, Now that the bank interest rate is so low, it is better to use it to do something good.” Ruolin thought for a while, then nodded, pursing her dry and thin lips tightly. When Ruolin told the amount that his mother was still short of surgery, Mu Jingyan hesitated for a moment. Seeing him like this, Ruolin didn't want to embarrass him, and just wanted to say "no need", but Mu Jingyan smiled and said: " Can." Ruolin didn't expect Mu Jingyan to agree immediately, and their friendship was not deep, but it was a good thing to borrow money, and her mother's illness was also cured.Her tense strings were only slightly relaxed at this time. What she thought couldn't be solved, she didn't expect to be solved so easily; she thought that no one would help her, but it miraculously appeared.She is very grateful to Mu Jingyan, and grateful for his presence.However, repaying the money has become a big problem.However, she doesn't have so much energy to think about these things now, she just wants to go back and have a good sleep.Because she has not slept well for two consecutive nights.
After returning home, Ruolin threw her head up on the bed and soon fell asleep. After sleeping for an unknown amount of time, Ruolin was awakened by the ringing of her mobile phone. She only felt that her head was heavy and her body was light, as if she was lying on a pile of cotton. She reluctantly opened her eyes, muttered something, and reached for her phone.As soon as she looked at the caller ID, her drowsiness immediately diminished a lot. However, he hasn't contacted her for several days, what is he calling now?Could it be that you are here to urge the interview draft?Ruo Lin secretly figured it out. She let the phone ring for a while before pressing the answer button. "Are you home?" Han Haoxuan's voice became a little hoarse, as if he was a little unhappy. "Yes." Ruolin replied.She didn't understand which spell Han Haoxuan had learned, but she knew that she had gone home. Ruolin felt strange and asked, "When did you become so supernatural?" "You know that my magic power is boundless!" Han Haoxuan laughed in a low voice, "If you are Monkey King, I am Tathagata Buddha. You will never leave my sight." "Don't be numb, I'm very sleepy now, my eyelids are clenched, so don't murder my precious life, okay?" Instead of talking to him endlessly, it's better to fall asleep. "Seriously, am I that insignificant to you? You should at least tell me about your mother's illness and hospitalization, right?" Han Haoxuan's tone suddenly became extremely serious.
In fact, for a while, Han Haoxuan was surrounded by an inexplicable sense of frustration. First, Ruo Lin told him that he wanted to be a stranger again, and then he thought that the interview would ease the relationship between the two of them. , she kept using honorifics to him, really treating him like a stranger!Immediately afterwards, she returned to her hometown because her mother was ill, and she didn't even say hello to him!It wasn't until he took the initiative to ask Xin Yu that he managed to get a little truth out of her. What frustrates him is that Ruolin can really treat him like a stranger. What made him even more frustrated was that he couldn't treat Ruo Lin as a stranger! He tried his best to learn from Ruolin, forgot about this blind date, and acted as if nothing had happened, trying to put all his energy on work, but Ruolin's image always popped up in his mind unexpectedly. He even forced himself to go on a date with Xinyu, trying to forget Ruolin through other women, but he found that he couldn't do it at all. He would always mention Ruolin in his conversations with Xinyu, so that several times, even He himself found that Xin Yu's complexion was not very good-looking. Han Haoxuan once considered the reason why Ruolin didn't even want to be friends with him.He felt that it wasn't that Ruolin didn't like him, but that Ruolin was worrying about something. However, in his opinion, love is not a great abandonment but a relentless pursuit. Now that he has found the ideal person, why should he give up so easily? ? The reason why he called Ruo Lin was not only to care about Ruo Lin's mother's condition, but also to know what Ruo Lin was worried about.
"What? How did you know?" Ruo Lin felt even more strange.Not only did he know that she had returned home, but he also knew that she had returned home because her mother was sick.He could only learn from two people, either the editor-in-chief or Xin Yu.She felt that the editor-in-chief had no reason to tell Han Haoxuan, unless Han Haoxuan went to urge the manuscript, the editor-in-chief had no choice but to tell him.But if it is to urge the manuscript, it is better to directly urge Ruolin, the executor, to be more effective.Han Haoxuan will not fail to understand this simple truth. Then, there is only one possibility left, that he got the news from Xin Yu.However, she clearly told Xin Yu not to mention her in front of Han Haoxuan in the future!However, Xinyu doesn't have to mention it, but Han Haoxuan doesn't have to ask!Ruo Lin turned her head and realized that she was really stupid. "Don't worry about how I know, don't you care about my feelings at all? I never give interviews to the media, and I suddenly accept interviews from you, do you know why? Because I don't want to miss you! I don't want us to really Be a stranger!" "Love is a mutual wish. I'm sorry, Mr. Han, I can only treat you as a stranger." Ruolin said pretending to be calm.God knows how much courage it took for her to say those words. "Okay..." Han Haoxuan sighed helplessly, "Before we become strangers again, if you need me to help you, just ask, for example, if there is a financial problem..." Ruolin understands the meaning behind the words.He probably wanted to lend a helping hand to her mother. "No need." Ruolin said succinctly, before hanging up the phone, she didn't forget to add a sentence, "Thank you for your kindness, please don't contact me if you have nothing to do." In this way, Han Haoxuan was rejected again, he moved the phone away from his ear, and as the screen of the phone went dark, his heart darkened little by little.
Here, Ruo Lin who hung up the phone was also covered in worry.She didn't know what else Han Haoxuan asked Xin Yu. If he often asked her for news about himself, then... Ruolin didn't dare to think about it anymore. She didn't want her friend to suffer any harm, so she immediately Call Xinyu. "Xin Yu, has Han Haoxuan been looking for you these two days?" Ruo Lin asked bluntly. "En." Xin Yu's voice sounded a little low. "What's the matter?" Ruo Lin knew Xin Yu's temper, and there was almost nothing that could make her like this. It must be Han Haoxuan who made her unhappy. "When he was dating me, he always asked me about you from time to time. If I don't answer, he will ask again next time. I'm really helpless, so I have to tell him." Xin Yu said complainingly, and then, on the phone After dawdling there for a long time, he asked in a low voice, "He doesn't like you, does he?" This question has been circling in Xin Yu's mind for a long time. At first, she didn't think about it, but then Han Haoxuan's behavior made her feel a little strange.Every time Han Haoxuan calls her or asks her out, in addition to talking about their common hobbies, he will subtly ask her about Ruo Lin's situation, which makes her think wildly. "What's wrong?" Ruo Lin quickly denied. Her worry was indeed right, who would not think about it when this happened? "That's weird." Xin Yu is the kind of straight-hearted person who likes to say whatever is on her mind. "Don't think about it, since your real man has appeared, then hold on tight to him." Ruo Lin said. "That's right, maybe I've been thinking too much these two days." Xin Yu began to doubt her own judgment, thinking that Han Haoxuan talked a lot about each other when they were together, and she only asked Ruolin a few words, Probably because I have become sensitive to think so. Hearing what Xin Yu said, Ruolin's worries just now disappeared a lot. She was really afraid that Xin Yu would continue to think wildly.Otherwise, the decision she made would be meaningless at all.She is really glad that Xin Yu is the kind of person who can see everything, otherwise the situation would not know how bad it is.
"By the way, is Auntie feeling better?" Xin Yu began to change the subject, concerned about Ruolin's problem. "My mother's condition is fairly stable, and she will have surgery in a week." "Is that enough money? Otherwise, I'll call you some more. I just got some from my parents." "No need, someone came to help." Ruolin said with a smile. "Who?" Xin Yu asked curiously. "I saw him on my way home. Guess who it is." Ruo Lin's tone was filled with joy.She thinks it is a very happy thing to see her former crush when she returns home this time. Even if she is no longer tempted, the innocence and beauty of the first love still remains in her heart. "Could it be that brother Mu of yours?" Xin Yu raised her voice and asked. "Well, it used to be." Ruolin replied lightly. "Hey, don't emphasize the past to me. Whether it was in the past or the present, it is a kind of fate to meet you. Boldly speak out the love in your heart, and don't bury your feelings in your heart anymore." When Xin Yu heard Ruo Lin's story about Brother Mu's past, she almost cried.She felt that Ruolin was really stupid. She liked someone and had been secretly in love for so long, but she refused to speak out. "I feel like I'm no longer who I used to be." Ruo Lin said what was in her heart, thought for a while, and continued, "I don't know why my heart stopped skipping half a beat because of him." "That's because you couldn't count when you saw your brother Mu's brain suddenly lack of oxygen." Xin Yu couldn't help laughing on the other end of the phone. "Xin Yu..." Ruo Lin blamed slightly. "I don't blame you. When we meet someone who makes our heart beat, our will doesn't belong to us. It's normal." Xin Yu stopped laughing and added, "I can totally understand your reaction." understand." "Xin Yu..." Ruo Lin helplessly called Xin Yu again. She felt that Xin Yu was getting more and more blackened, and the more she said it, the more nonsensical she was, so she didn't want to continue talking about this topic.
In the next few days, Ruolin and her younger sister took turns staying beside their mother, taking good care of her. During this period, Han Haoxuan called Ruo Lin a few times, but she didn't answer, she wanted to make herself more decisive.She knew that if she didn't give him a chance, she would give herself peace and Xinyu peace of mind. Mu Jingyan also contacted Ruolin, not only transferred 70,000 yuan into Ruolin's account, but also visited her mother in the hospital.
When Mu Jingyan appeared at the door of the ward, Ruolin felt a little surprised.When he asked her mother's hospital on the phone, she thought it was a polite word, but she didn't expect him to come. Holding a bouquet of carnations in one hand and a fruit basket in the other, he walked towards Zhou Li's hospital bed. "Auntie, hello." Mu Jingyan approached, greeted Zhou Li, and handed the gift to Ruolin. "Thank you." Ruo Lin took the flower and fruit basket from Mu Jingyan's hand. "Who is this?" Zhou Li asked suspiciously. "Oh, he's my high school classmate Mu Jingyan." Ruo Lin quickly explained, lest her mother misunderstand. "Just call me Xiao Mu." Mu Jingyan smiled. "Sit down, Xiao Mu." Zhou Li pointed to a chair beside the bed and said to Mu Jingyan. "Thank you, auntie." Mu Jingyan sat down as he said. "Why is this kid so polite?" Zhou Li laughed. Afterwards, Mu Jingyan and Zhou Li chatted for a few words, nothing more than commonplace things like where they live and where they work now, but they chatted very happily.Zhou Li's complexion looked very good, as if there was a strange look on her face. After a while, Ruolin was afraid that her mother would get tired from talking too much, so she asked her to lie down and rest, and Mu Jingyan also took the opportunity to leave.
After helping her mother to lie down, Ruo Lin sent Mu Jingyan out. "This time, it's really thanks to your help, and thank you for coming to see my mother." Thank you from the bottom of my heart. "Old classmate, this little busyness is nothing to worry about. Don't take it to heart." "Still... thank you very much." "Hehe, besides thank you, can you say something else?" "Uh..." It was only then that Ruo Lin realized that she was the one who was speechless in front of him.She didn't know what else to say besides thanking him now. "By the way, tomorrow is the 60th anniversary of No. 1 Middle School. Are you going?" Mu Jingyan asked seemingly casually, but he could hear the faint expectation.No. 1 Middle School is their alma mater, and it is also the campus where he spent three years with her. "Oh, many old classmates will be there tomorrow. We haven't seen each other for a long time, and we can catch up with each other." Seeing Ruolin's hesitant expression, Mu Jingyan added. "If there is no accident tomorrow, I will go there." Ruo Lin thought about it, too. Since graduating from high school, we have had too few opportunities to meet each other, and it's no wonder that I missed some old classmates.In addition to the rare 60th anniversary celebration, it is not a bad idea to visit the alma mater. "Then it's settled, we'll see you then. If you don't change your mind, I'll wait for you at the school gate at ten o'clock tomorrow morning." Mu Jingyan said. Ruolin nodded with a smile.
The next day, after Ruolin made arrangements for her mother, she took the bus directly to No. 1 Middle School. After getting off the bus, Ruo Lin saw Mu Jingyan standing at the door of No. 1 Middle School from a distance. The morning sun bathed him, and his black hair seemed to be plated with a touch of gold. As if time had not gone far, as if he was still her favorite boy in the past. Ruo Lin walked towards him slowly, feeling as if she was walking back to her girlhood, walking towards a dream. "You're here." Mu Jingyan's words shattered Ruolin's dream. "Well. You came so early." "I've just arrived, too. Let's go in." The two walked into the familiar high school campus side by side. "Shen Ruolin!" A loud and clear voice suddenly sounded, and immediately after, Ruolin received a slap on the shoulder. No need to look at the deity, Ruolin can guess with her toes, who is the one who stretched out her claws.Besides Tian Jing, the best classmate in high school, who else could there be? "Tian Jing, you are still the same, you are always so special when you say hello." Ruo Lin turned her head. Sure enough, it was Tian Jing. She had not changed much from her high school appearance, she still had short hair, and the dimples at the corners of her mouth were faintly visible when she smiled, making her look very sweet.But she is a typical "misname", she is not quiet at all. "Hey, isn't this the handsome guy Mu from our class? What wind brought you here?" Tian Jing was a little surprised when he saw Mu Jingyan beside Ruolin.In her impression, Mu Jingyan was a bit cold, not very gregarious, and basically would not participate in activities such as class reunions. "I just came back to do some errands, and it's time for the school's 60th anniversary..." "Don't explain, I already know the reason." Before Mu Jingyan finished speaking, Tian Jing said first, "Now Ruolin is working in D city, I heard that you also applied to be transferred to D city, isn't the reason obvious?" After finishing speaking, Tian Jing also gave Ruo Lin a meaningful smile, implying "When did you start, the speed is quite fast". Ruolin knew that Tian Jing must have misunderstood, and it was hard for Mu Jingyan to say anything to Tian Jing when she was by her side, so she just smiled and pretended to be bored. "Don't disturb the two of you revisiting the campus time. Ruolin, turn around, let's get together again." Naturally, Tian Jing didn't want to play the role of a light bulb, and said goodbye to Ruolin soon. "Tian Jing..." Ruo Lin still felt a little embarrassed. "What?" Tian Jing had already walked a few steps away, then turned her head and looked at Ruo Lin. "Anyway, it's not what you think." Ruo Lin walked over and whispered to her. "Don't explain. You two are really 'not a family, don't enter the family'. Both of you like to make excuses. If you like it, you like it, and you talk so much nonsense. You both say that the fat and water don't flow to outsiders. The best handsome guy on the Internet finally fell into your house. To be honest, I am very happy for you." "You really misunderstood, there is really nothing between me and him." Ruo Lin tried her best to defend herself. "I don't care whether it's steamed or boiled. You can only be called Tian Jing's good sister if you take him down in the end. Well, I won't waste your time. Go bravely and pursue true love!" Tian Jing put her mouth together. Said in Ruo Lin's ear.
Looking at Tian Jing's receding figure, Ruolin couldn't help thinking of some past times. Ruolin still remembers that Tian Jing used to always tease her, saying that she liked others but dared not admit it.She was indeed like that at that time, she thought that no one would know her meticulous thoughts, but some small expressions and emotions of hers were discovered by the sharp-eyed Tian Jing, but she denied it.Only in this way can she feel that this is a secret that belongs to her alone, hidden in her heart, whether it is bitter or sweet, it is up to her to taste it alone.
At that time, she always got up very early and came to study in the school corridor.There is a small river in front of the promenade, and many weeping willows have been picked and planted along the river. Especially in spring, when the wind blows gently, the scenery of the weeping willows floating slightly on the bank is really beautiful.However, in Ruolin's view, the most beautiful scenery is Mu Jingyan who is sitting in the corner of the promenade and earnestly reading in the morning. Every time she reads, she will pretend to be very serious, but her thoughts fly to Mu Jingyan unknowingly, and then subconsciously raise her head and secretly glance at Mu Jingyan in the distance.She dared not sit too close to him for fear that he might notice.Fortunately, the conscientious Mu Jingyan only focused on studying, and didn't realize that there was a girl who used to sit in an inconspicuous place and watch him silently every day for him, whether it was hot summer or cold winter.When I see him sneezing, I worry about whether he has a cold, and when I see his red hands, I worry about whether I will get frostbite...
They were in the same class, Ruolin sat in the front of the classroom, and Mu Jingyan was already taller than the average boys at that time, so he was arranged to sit in the back. When get out of class was over, Ruolin would turn her head to talk to the people in the back seat, and glance at Mu Jingyan who was sitting in the back from the corner of her eyes.Mu Jingyan doesn't like to go out to play like other boys, he spends most of the time doing exercises in his seat without making a sound.Sometimes the brows are slightly wrinkled, and sometimes the brows are stretched, probably solving a difficult problem, and then he conquered it.Ruolin just stared at the various subtle expressions on his handsome face like this, she seemed to be immersed in his world, sometimes she couldn't help but want to go up to talk to him, but she knew that was absolutely impossible of. 因为穆景言在他们班成绩拔尖，是老师眼中的优等生，而若琳成绩平平，因为家境的关系，她甚至有些自卑。她还记得那时就有很多女生喜欢他，给他写情书。她也曾嫉妒过，但她却一直没有勇气提笔。她知道，她的世界太贫瘠，她没有足够的资本追求这份感情。她只能这般默默地注视他。
有时，她觉得天天看到他，也是一种幸福。 她也曾想过不再这样仰视他，要跟他站在同一道起跑线上，但是，经过她的努力，一切无果，她便放弃了心中仅存的一点希冀。 注定，他是个相貌英俊的优等生；而她，只是个经常沉默又有些自卑的普通女生。 她觉得，他的世界离他那么远，仿佛隔着天堂的距离，她始终无法触及，即使踮起脚，触摸到的也只是飘着的浮云。她这段暗恋的结局终究是一场虚无。 但，纵使这样，她心中暗生的情愫依旧没有丝毫的减弱，她仍然留意他，甚至，天天为他写日记。 那厚厚的一本日记里全都记满了他，他说话时细微的神态，他不经意的动作，他的声音，他的笑容……若琳都不曾放过。日记的字里行间都渗透着她对他温暖的情愫。很多想跟他说却没说的话她都写了下来，隔日看时仍会觉得很甜蜜。 虽然那时她还不知道什么才是爱，但她却体味着思念一个人的甜，即使有些涩，她仍乐在其中。
若琳强迫自己从回忆中抽身出来，转头看了看站在自己旁边的穆景言，不禁笑了笑。 她真的不明白随着自己阅历的增加，那些留存在记忆里的美好画面就那么渐渐流失，直至被时间的洪荒卷走。 那些细微的心动都已是曾经，那些默默的注视也已成为过往里甜蜜的回忆。现在她这么近地看着身旁的他，已经不再如昨日那般思慕。 或许不是刻意遗忘，而是时间久了，再美好的情愫也会悄然淡去。
穆景言不明白她在笑什么，便问：“有什么开心的事吗？” “嗯？”若琳神情恍惚了一下才反应过来，微微笑道，“没什么。” 即使有什么，那也是不必言说的曾经。 “重返学校你有没有什么感触？”穆景言问道。 “想起了以前的很多事，不过，一切都已物是人非。”若琳看着路边走过的学生，不无伤感地说道。 “还记得以前你特别文静，我们在一个班好像都没说过几句话。”穆景言回忆起那时的时光，虽然他只知道整天闷头看书，但回到宿舍总会听到别的男生议论班里的女生，间或他会听上几句，聊到若琳的时候，他总会不自觉地竖起耳朵来听。只因他在班里对她印象最深刻，觉得她长得格外清秀，而且总是默默无闻的，一副不食人间烟火的模样。然而，他却从未察觉到若琳对他投射来的异样目光。 “不是我不跟你说话，是你好像都没跟我们班几个女生说过话。”若琳说道。 “是啊，现在想想，那时的我真是个闷葫芦，在你们看来我是不是个书呆子啊？”穆景言那时候把学业看得比什么都重要，因为，他中考失利，分数不够一中的直接录取分数线，还额外交了不少钱。他咽不下这口气，他并不觉得自己比别人差，所以他刻苦学习，不敢有丝毫的懈怠，所以他从刚进班的倒数第五一直跻身到班里前五。 “你岂是一般的书呆子，简直就是非人类，连一点玩的时间都不给自己。”若琳故作夸张地说道。 “那我的青春不都献给了书本，我觉得我做的牺牲真的是太大了。”穆景言撇了撇嘴，似笑非笑道，“如果再让我选择一次的话……”他停顿了一下，似乎在思索，许久，说，“我还会奉献给书本。” 若琳还以为他会说不再献给书本，不禁被他的话逗笑了，说：“是不是书本成就了今天的你，所以你对它感激不尽啊？” “……”穆景言点了点头，明亮的眼眸闪现一丝笑意。
说话的工夫，他们已经来到了同学们相约聚会的地点——他们以前的教室门口。 不过其他的同学倒不像田静那么八卦，或者说，其他同学并不知道若琳曾经暗恋穆景言的心事，所以看到他俩一起走过来并不感到多么意外，只当他们是偶尔在校园里碰到的。 大家聚在一起说起了各自的近况。看着留在B市的同学都过得还算风生水起，若琳有一瞬间想，如果她毕业后也回家乡，是不是会跟他们一样呢？ 不过，她从来不会后悔自己的决定。不管将来怎样，她会给自己足够的时间去证明自己的价值，实现自己的梦想。
中午，同学们选择在学校食堂里就餐，重温了一下自己的学生时代。 吃完饭，大家基本就分成小帮派，自由活动了。 最后，若琳发现原地就剩下了她和穆景言两个人。他们相视一笑，然后决定到校园里到处转转，。 校庆除了文艺汇演外，就是校长在公众席上讲讲学校创办了这些年的历程，并且请了几位从本校毕业小有成就的人做做报告，并没多大的意思。不过，晚上的那场烟火表演，据说颇为盛大，倒是值得期待。
激动人心的时刻终于到了，烟火突地升起，在黑丝绒般的天幕上绽放开美丽的一束，像盛开的绚丽花朵，璀璨耀眼。 周围有好些人都在欢呼着，热闹一片，明明是夏日，若琳却有过年的感觉。 跟心爱的人一起数星星、看烟火是若琳心中美好的梦想，至今从未实现过。当她转过头，看着脸上被烟火照亮的穆景言，心里却莫名地隐隐一动。他的脸此时看起来无比英俊，像雕塑般，静默着，却又仿佛闪着光，灼得人眼睛有点睁不开。 她以为她的心不会再为他漏跳半拍，但是，在那一瞬间，她竟感觉到了久违的心动。只是，她觉得时间仿佛已经过了很久，有了恍如隔世的感觉。 第一个陪在她身边看烟火的人，竟然是他——曾让她一度痴迷不已的暗恋对象。 以前她曾幻想过，如果有一天他能陪她一起看烟火，她会嫁给他，一辈子都对他好，陪伴他到老。可是，她又何曾想过，终有一天，他真的陪她看烟火了，但是，心境却与幻想时截然不同了。 曾经所谓的一辈子也只是若琳最最美好的幻想，在记忆里盛开出美丽的花。现实却告诉她，那个人只是记忆里的一场梦，终会成空。 她自始至终都只能仰望着他，即使现在他就在自己身边，却感觉离得那么远，仿佛隔着两颗心的距离。
又一束烟火在黑夜里绽放出夺目的光芒，顿时，天空亮如白昼。 若琳忍不住再度转头望向穆景言，他的脸被烟火美丽的光晕笼罩着，是那么的生动而迷人。穆景言突然也转过头来，他俩的眼睛冷不丁地撞上了个正着。他的眼睛分外明亮，眼中含有一丝笑意，笑意慢慢滋长，像不断蔓延的生物般将若琳缠绕，若琳怔了许久才收回呆愣的眼神。然后，她定了定神，继续看在空中绽放的烟火，烟火那么美，一束一束地升腾，但它们终不免散落的命运。它们在空中极尽地释放自己的美丽，但片刻过后，它们还是会凋零，四散开，直至消逝不见。 若琳知道，她心中埋藏的感情不过是再美不过的烟火，在懵懂的年龄绽放，然后在时间的年轮里凋落。而身边的这个人，只不过是她生命里的过客，并不是爱她的那个人。 此情此景，她再次为他心动，她知道，这也只是她的幻觉。幻觉固然美好，却往往会给人带来假象。 若琳看着前面互相拥抱的一对情侣，那般甜蜜，想必他们的脸上应该有着比烟火还要美的笑容。她又何曾不想要一份这样甜蜜的感情。但是，想起自己的生活，想起妈妈的病，她的心开始微微发涩。和她同龄的女孩都在享受着爱情的滋润，而她还在为生活奔波。 不过，对此，她不怨任何人，也不怨命运不公，她默默地接受事实，并努力改变她的现状。
看完烟火，时间不早了。穆景言要送若琳回去，被她婉言谢绝了。 “那我帮你拦辆车。”说着，穆景言就要伸手拦出租车。 “不用了。我待会儿直接去医院，坐公交车挺方便的。”若琳连忙说。现在是用钱最紧张的时候，还是能省即省吧。 不知怎么地，穆景言刚才的那句话竟让若琳突然想起了她和韩皓轩第一次见面的情景。那天晚上，他也是要送她回家，她不肯，然后他说“那我帮你拦辆车”。 若琳摇摇头，努力拂掉与韩皓轩有关的回忆。 “怎么了？很累吗？”穆景言发觉若琳的表情起了变化，不禁关切地问道。 “哦，没什么。”若琳以笑容掩饰。 “我送你到站牌吧，我反正也要从那里乘车回家。”实际上，他要去的地方跟她是相反的方向。 “好的。”如果他是顺便过去，她再拒绝就显得有些牵强了，不妨接受了他的好意。
“你什么时候回D市？”在公交站牌前等车的时候，穆景言问若琳。 “等后天我妈妈做完手术，我才能放心地离开。”若琳有些担心地说。无论什么手术都是有风险存在的，何况是心脏搭桥这样的高难度手术。 “我刚好在这里要待到二十八号才走，你妈妈手术那天，我如果过去陪你，你不会介意吧？”望着若琳疲惫的脸色，穆景言真的想为她分担些什么。 “……”若琳曾设想过妈妈被推进手术室之后，她的状态。是紧张兮兮地对着手术室张望，还是不停地在走廊上走动以减缓内心的焦躁不安，抑或是坐在手术室外的长椅上一边流泪一边等着手术结果的宣布？ 事实上，她需要一个温暖的胸膛，她需要一双有力的双手，她需要能够支撑着她的躯体不让它倒下的力量。 因为，她的内心深处是十分害怕的，害怕手术的失败，更害怕至亲的离去。 “你如果为难的话，我不会勉强……”见若琳迟迟不回复，穆景言只好妥协。她还是那么固执，总是用表面的坚强掩饰内心的脆弱。这样的她，真让他很担心。 “你如果能够过去，我感激不尽。”若琳说道。 若琳的话让穆景言着实有些吃惊。 “其实，该说感谢的那个人，是我。我很荣幸成为陪在你身边和你一起共度难关的人。”穆景言嘴唇动了动，终是将这句话咽了回去。
坐在开往医院的公交车上，若琳的思绪飘到了很远，她没想到她能够十分坦然地面对穆景言，而且就像老朋友一样熟悉而亲切。她也搞不懂，自己为什么愿意接受他的帮助。她不知道自己这么做是不是有些逾越了，毕竟人家也是有女朋友的人了…… 一阵急促的手机铃声打断了若琳的遐思，她将手机从包里拿出来。望着手机屏幕上的名字，她发了一会儿愣，还是按下了接听键。 韩某人，算你今天走运，要不是我今天和年少时最爱的人一起看烟火，心情好，我才不会理你呢！
“你妈妈身体好些了吗？”电话接通后，韩皓轩的声音从电话那端传来。 “还行吧。有什么事儿吗？”若琳有些不耐烦地说。 “你大概什么时候回来？”韩皓轩的语气中有一丝期盼。 “我什么时候回去好像没必要告诉你吧？”虽然接了他的电话，但若琳并不想和他牵扯太多，“还有，我不是跟你说过不要再联系我的吗，你怎么老是给我电话？” “你怎么说是你的事，我怎么做是我的事。”韩皓轩毫不在意地说道。 “随便你。”若琳拿他没办法。 “……”韩皓轩沉默了会儿，笑了笑，说，“我等你回来。” 若琳真搞不懂韩皓轩脑子里在想些什么，她又不是他的某某某，竟跟她说让人发麻的话。他明知道馨语对他有好感，还这样对她。馨语长得又不比她差，家庭条件也比她好。而且，馨语还跟她说他妈妈都见过她了，并对她很满意。若琳就是不明白有这么好的女人在他面前为何不好好珍惜，偏偏会找上自己。她无法理解，她就当他是一时糊涂了，迟早都会清醒的。 “希望你能好好珍惜馨语，她是我的好朋友，我不容许你伤害她。”若琳微微加重了语气，说道。 “我不会伤害任何人，我只珍惜我应该珍惜的人。”韩皓轩轻轻说道。 “……”若琳有刹那的怔忪，握着手机的手不由得微微颤了一下，她感觉到电话那端传来一股暖流，似乎要将她侵蚀，直抵她的内心。她调整了下这个不该有的情绪，握紧手机，声音中有点颤音，轻微却听得清楚，“那……你一定要珍惜馨语。” 也许，若琳心里明白韩皓轩口中那个珍惜的人，但她就是要打断他的那种念头，她要一遍遍地告诉他，馨语才是他最理想的对象。而她，只是个身负债务的穷丫头。 “我该珍惜的那个人，我想，你是知道的。”韩皓轩语气坚定地说。 “……”若琳不明白韩皓轩为什么总是这么自信，总觉得自己的想法是对的，不过，她还是得承认他是个聪明的男人，能猜透别人的心思。但，遇见这样的人也不好，自己想些什么，都无法藏匿。 “你现在在哪儿？怎么那么吵。”韩皓轩在若琳沉默的间隙里听见话筒里吵闹的声音。 “在公车上。”若琳无奈地把头靠在椅背上，用手抚了抚额头，一副怏怏的样子。 “夜晚坐公车观夜景？”韩皓轩戏谑地说道，“跟哪个帅哥在一起，还真浪漫。” “不止一个帅哥，是一群。”若琳看了看自己周围的人，其实，没有一个帅的，但还是这么说了，好像是故意跟韩皓轩较劲。 “有我帅吗？”韩皓轩笑了笑。 “……”若琳开始无语，不想再跟他讲下去，便说，“以后可不可以不要再说这么无聊的话。” “这几天你一直在照顾你妈吧，多注意身体，别让自己累着了。”韩皓轩不理会若琳的言语，转移了话题，语气变得温柔起来。 “谢谢。”若琳不想跟他再狡辩什么，也许一般的客套话才是最好的反击。
若琳到医院的时候，妹妹和邻居孙阿姨都在。 孙阿姨看若琳的脸色不太好，可能是睡眠不足的原因，便让若琳和妹妹若雯一起回去休息，这里有她就可以了。 若琳一开始还坚持要留在这里，但在医院待了一会儿，后来实在撑不住，竟趴在床头睡着了。 孙阿姨说那样容易感冒，执意让她回去。她拗不过，只好和妹妹一起回家了。
回到家后，若琳简单地洗了个澡就上床准备休息。 夏日的晚上依旧有些闷热，窗外吹进丝丝暖风，让她觉得燥热，她翻来覆去睡不着。 她搞不懂怎么在医院困得不行，回来后反而不困了。或许是已经过了最困的临界点了，或许是家里比医院闷热的缘故，又或许是因为某件心事又开始隐隐作祟了。 若琳想不明白，为什么她这样对韩皓轩，他依旧不放弃，还一直缠着她。 其实，有时候，深夜里，她会不经意地想起韩皓轩。他平时一副风度翩翩的样子，有时却也喜欢贫嘴，坏坏的样子。不过，总体上来说，他还算是个比较沉稳的男人…… STOP!若琳告诫自己不要再想下去了。 她现在只希望韩皓轩能好好对馨语，希望他们成为幸福的一对。 但是，她却不知道，爱是不能强求的，能不能在一起并不是一个人说了算，而是两个人的意愿。