Chapter 16 Chapter Fifteen Why I Love You

"Can I go to the rooftop to blow some air?" Sheng Huainan didn't know what to answer.The other party still had stubborn eyes, glaring and tough, and his attitude was so blunt that he didn't seem to be asking politely. Come on, the balcony is not my house.Thinking in his heart, a gentle smile naturally appeared on his face: "Of course, why are you so polite." Zheng Wenrui took a step forward, and asked with an aggressive smile, "Then are you leaving soon?" If it was in high school, these words would have made him think that this girl hated him so much that she wished to drive him away with naked means.Later, after the other party's fierce confession like debt collection, he was as smart as him, and instantly understood Zheng Wenrui by analogy.

As Luo Zhi said, everyone has a skin that he painted, so Zheng Wenrui's skin must be a fierce ghost, with harsh words and expressions, only to cover up his inner helplessness.Hate the word, sometimes it's just a cover for "unloved".Since being rejected will bring obvious disappointment and embarrassment, it is better to draw a face with strong bones and brows at the beginning to glare at the other party. Sheng Huainan knew that this kind of condescending analysis was ultimately based on the fact that the other party fell in love with him, and it was also because he didn't care about the other party.His sympathy and understanding are better than trampling and indifference in the eyes of some people, but in the eyes of some people it is extremely hypocritical, a kind of bullying and contempt that is more serious than insulting.

He withdrew the gentle smile just now, Sheng Huainan sighed, and said lightly: "This is not my balcony, so you can come if you like. This is not your balcony, so I can leave whenever I want." Zheng Wenrui was stunned, and finally lowered her noble forehead, muttering: "I, I'm not driving you away." Sheng Huainan felt that the atmosphere was beginning to change towards a strange ambiguity.If it was normal, he would have flashed to the door immediately, politely told her to be careful of catching a cold in winter, and then explained that he had a headache from the blowing and had to go back to the dormitory to sleep quickly, and in the end, the reason was sufficient, polite and not hurtful— — run away.But I can't say why, this time he didn't round the field, he turned back to the railing and continued to look at his scenery, but no matter how he pretended to be nothing and no self, it was just superficial.The scorching gaze shining from behind was not an illusion. In his memory, he could not laugh or cry under that gaze again and again. He did not need to turn his head to know that Zheng Wenrui was standing behind him and staring at him motionlessly, using the way of staring at his father and enemy .

The phone in his pocket vibrated, it was still Ye Zhanyan's call.In the library just now, when Luo Zhi entered the door, she said flatly, "I have your phone", without even a single crack on her face.When she saw Ye Zhanyan's text messages when she was at the playground, there was still an awkward and unnatural crack in her expression, but at some point, it was healed perfectly. "Hey?" "Huainan, do you have a test tomorrow?" "Ok." "Come on. I just called to tell you that my father gave me two tickets. The Pauli Theater is showing "An Enemy of the People". Alright, let's go see it together!"

Ye Zhanyan's voice was like a bunch of small bottles of oral liquid bumping together, clear and bright, but when it reached his ears, it became a big mess. "Huainan?" be friends. He finally said goodbye, and she cried, "Be friends." Being friends is the beginning, not the end.How can it be satisfying just to be friends. "Well, let's talk. I have something to do, so I hang up first. Take care of yourself." There was an exam tomorrow, Sheng Huainan finally thought of this.He should put down all his cranky thoughts, go back to the library, and study.

Even if Ye Zhanyan asked him in the third year of high school if he was kidnapped on the day of the college entrance examination, would he put down the exam and run to save her; Saying that the college entrance examination can be repeated, there is no second Ye Zhanyan in the world; even if he was telling the truth at that time; even if he was deeply in love at that time, facing the life-threatening choice of life and death, he would naturally let go of the college entrance examination once a year like rushing to a temple fair—— But Ye Zhanyan didn't know that if she asked to break up with him on the day of the college entrance examination, or asked him to make a choice between love and the college entrance examination-maybe he let her go faster than calculating addition, subtraction, multiplication and division within one hundred.

Sheng Huainan might never understand such things as being crazy about love. The mood disturbed by Luo Zhi returned to normal the moment Ye Zhanyan's phone rang.He picked up his schoolbag on the ground and strode towards the exit. "Are you leaving?" Zheng Wenrui didn't block his way, nor was he aggressive, this time he was very calm. "Well, go to self-study." "I just kept counting to see how long your politeness can last. The result is, 207 seconds, less than four minutes. In fact, you really don't have to pretend that you don't hate me. Really."

"I haven't." Sheng Huainan didn't bother to explain. "You don't hate me on the surface, but you actually hate me. I hate you on the surface, but I don't at all. What you suffer is a short-term small grievance, and what I suffer is a long-term big grievance." An unknown fire swept through his body. The moment Sheng Huainan walked out of the library, he had tried his best to restrain his emotions. At this moment, he finally collapsed. He frowned, stared at her clearly, and said, "No one can give you Be wronged, unless you ask for it." Zheng Wenrui didn't confront him, but avoided his gaze.

"Yes, I asked for it. Not only did I ask for it, I tortured myself, but I also always let you know that I was uncomfortable and made you feel guilty. I am a hateful person. look, right?" "right." Throwing out this word coldly, after that, he still couldn't bear it, paused, and added a few words gently: "You are a bit weird, but... But it's not as bad as you imagined. And I , I am not as good as you imagined, each other." "No," Zheng Wenrui smiled palely, "You always thought that I, like them, worshiped you as a perfect statue? They are all girls with conditions and capital, and they love you It's because they love to dream and have the capital to dream, so they imagine you too well. I don't have the capital to dream, so I always watch and wait behind the scenes like a thief. I can see each and every one of you. Clearly, including myself."

She laughed, laughed until she bent down, laughed until she knelt down and hugged her knees, laughed until she cried. Sheng Huainan felt that he was back in the stands of the high school stadium again, as if the crying boy from class six was standing in front of him again. "They love you, some love you as their own achievements, some love you as their own glory, and some love you as their ideals and obsessions. What do I love you for? I love your indifference, You're selfish, you only see what's good, you look down on mediocre people around you, you're smart, you're conceited, you're sane—but what I like the most is that every time you pretend to be gentle and polite, every time you I put on that skin and walked out of the dormitory and approached the crowd, I watched from behind, and saw that it was riddled with holes, I still like it.”

A gust of wind blew the corner of Sheng Huainan's clothes, and the iron zipper hit his face, which was cold and painful.Zheng Wenrui's words were sharp and ruthless, a little sour and numb, and even biased, but every word still pierced into his heart. "How can I not like you? No matter how much you see your ugly side, I still like it. What should I do?" He grabbed the doorknob and squeezed it lightly twice. "I like the advantages that you know that others know, and the shortcomings that you know but others don't, and even include all the parts that you don't know or you don't want to admit at all. What should I do?" She suddenly took off the schoolbag, grabbed it with one hand, reached in with the other hand for a long time, and took out a thin piece of paper, the surface seemed to have been soaked in dirty water, and it was crumpled and fragile. "I wrote you an anonymous letter when I was a freshman in high school. Do you know it was me? I put it in your exercise book, and when I was on duty the next day, I saw it under your seat. It's full of wet footprints. That's how you treat people. If it's not an anonymous letter, you will at least keep it properly to protect your image, right?" The way Sheng Huainan looked at her gradually approached that of filling in the blanks in ancient poems in high school. "Then I found out that you don't know me at all. It's been so long since school started, and you don't know me. You stepped on my letter, but I keep it with me all the time. No matter what schoolbag I change, I always put it in it." .I sometimes have hallucinations. Will it become two letters when I take it out again? Will there be a reply letter growing in the schoolbag..." Maybe it was just accidentally shaken off when flipping through the exercise book.He felt helpless and wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't speak. "Don't you," he sighed, dryly, "you make me feel like I've ruined you." Zheng Wenrui wept blood, but at this moment he raised his head and smiled vigorously. "It's a pity you'll never know what I've ruined you," she said. Sheng Huainan pulled open the iron gate vigorously, and just glanced back at her before leaving. He said nothing more, but smiled contemptuously.