Chapter 54 Chapter 54 Lingering Illness

My illness was not purely caused by wind and cold. I had never recovered from the illness and was overstimulated. In addition, my body was severely damaged. I was so sick that I almost died. When I was lying on the bed, sipping the millet porridge fed by Hegan Chengji, Hegan Chengji had completely lost his arrogance as a swordsman, just like a nagging neighbor boy, confiding that he guarded me for three days Three nights of suffering. He originally had a body made of iron, so naturally he would not be afraid of getting tired.But he was afraid of my death, so he kept calling me, calling me by name, competing with King Yama for my life.

The hut is still old and simple, but the bed I sleep on has been replaced with excellent bedding, which is soft and smells of the sun and fresh cotton. Hegan Chengji himself was as sloppy as a beggar on the street, but my hands and face were clean, and even my dry hair was neatly loose.It's hard to believe that such a swordsman who is used to holding a sword regularly scrubs my face and hands every day, and even combs my hair carefully with a comb. ——When he combed it, it must be very gentle. A large piece of my scalp, because it was pulled hard by Hanwang, still hurts when I touch it.But I didn't feel any pain.

Hegan Chengji brought bitter medicine three times a day, and I was naturally not willing to take it.Hegan Chengji must have blew on it first, then took a sip, smiled, and said: "Rong Shuer, this medicine is not bitter, you can try it, just take one sip, okay?" The voice was soft and soft, but it was close to begging, a heartbreaking begging. I couldn't resist the heartache, so I took a few sips every time, then frowned, and pressed my chest hard to prevent the medicine sweat from vomiting out in the turbulence of my stomach. Every time at this time, Hegan Chengji must hold my arm tightly, sometimes even take me into his arms and caress my back.At this time, I have no strength to push away such a warm embrace.

I looked into his sincere and clear eyes, and finally couldn't help asking: "Why did you save me? And why did you treat me so well?" Hegan Chengji was silent, then hung down the medicine bowl, bowed his head and said, "I don't want to see you cry, die, or unhappy." Even the short mustache on his face couldn't hide his sincere tenderness of a young man. . I looked down at my body, and asked slightly mockingly: "Me? Is it worth it?" Under my thin single shirt, the scars of being ravaged by Li Yuanchang couldn't be concealed at all.I am no longer a good girl in the pure sense.Even in the 21st century, most men have a more or less virgin complex, let alone Datang now?Any innocent family would not want a woman who lost her virginity.

Even, even if Dongfang Qingyao.He said that on the wedding night, the old lady of his family would even test the bride's redness to confirm the bride's chastity.I used to think that if I couldn't return to the 21st century, Dongfang Qingyao would be another happy waiting for me.Finally, this dream has been ravaged to the point of being completely shattered. Losing my virginity was not my fault, and after the most painful phase passed, I no longer wanted to die for it.But I can't change the opinions of others, and I can't change my hatred for my own body—just think of that terrible afternoon, the huge body pressed up like a pig, the terrible pain and insult.Since then, all my self-esteem has been trampled in the mud of the ditch and cannot be uprooted.Strong inferiority complex and pain, tearing my heart like an ant, I, my filthy body that can never be cleansed, is it worth the sacrifice of any man?

But Hegan Chengji just shook his head and said, "Rong Shu'er, don't worry, you are still the most perfect Miss Rong San. I will help you and help you return to your original happy life." My original happy life?I am at a loss. Hegan Chengji was afraid that I would not understand and added: "I will send you back to Dongfang Qingyao well. He is a man by himself, and he failed to protect you well. He would never take you if he wanted to. You... ... Blame you. He will definitely marry you and treat you well." I closed my eyes, and my heart ached like a knife. Of course Dongfang Qingyao won't blame me, and of course he will marry me. I am that stupid Rong Shu'er, and he will marry me.However, after this incident, will the original tacit understanding and tenderness between the two still exist?Will the way he looks at me still be that pure love that is not mixed with any impurities?

Why should I stay in another world to achieve this love that will not be perfect or pure? Hegan Chengji must have seen my pain in his eyes, and promised anxiously: "Don't worry, if he dares to treat you badly, I will never forgive him." I raised my head and asked weakly, "What if I don't want to go back to him?" Dots of hope and sadness flashed in Hegan Chengji's eyes, and he was in a trance, so that people couldn't see his heart.Then he said, "So, where do you want to go?" I exhaled and tried my best to smile, but the stiffness of my face still made my smile extremely bitter.I raised my head, raised my smiling tearful eyes, looked at the swordsman eagerly, and slowly said: "I'll get up and go to Princess Wencheng, I want to go to Tibet with her."

Hegan Chengji twitched his body as if being whipped, and quickly lowered his eyelids to prevent me from seeing the disappointment in his eyes. Then he twisted his sword hilt and said, "Why, go to Tubo? There It's far away. It's said that the weather is not good, it's hot and cold from time to time." I tried my best to hold back my tears, not wanting him to see my embarrassment, and said with a smile, "I want to go to a farther place to change my mood." Hegan Chengji said: "Is there? It's too far away. Isn't your hometown Luoyang? It's also quite far from Chang'an, and the environment is good, so you can rest well."

I shook my head.Luoyang?I feel there is not as good as Chang'an.Except for Rong Jincheng, I'm afraid the whole Rong family doesn't regard me as an adult yet.What's more, it's the same everywhere. After confirming that even Qingyao is just my happy dream, every inch of land in Datang gives me the feeling that it is so far away from home, so far away that I can't feel it. Familiar breath, it seems that there is a strange wall in every direction, blocking me in front of me, I can't get out, I can't get in. Hegan Chengji was still racking his brains and thinking: "Then, I will send you to my hometown to recuperate for a while. It is very secluded and the people are simple and hospitable. When you go, I will definitely treat you like a fairy."

Fairy?A fairy who was abused by animals?I suddenly became agitated, threw the pillow hard on Hegan Chengji, and shouted, "I'm not going, I'm not going anywhere except Tubo! I just want to go there!" Hegan Chengji didn't hide, and hit him with the pillow, just stood up, looked at me, heartbroken, and at the same time bewildered, his upright face seemed to show some grievances, but he didn't dare, just Turned his face away, looked out the window, and laughed at himself: "Oh, okay, whatever you say is fine. Rong Shu'er, since you are going to Li Luoluo's place, I will take you there naturally. But first, you put the Take care of your body."

"No," I shook my head wearily, and said, "I want to see Luoluo right now." I closed my eyes, and slowly leaned against the cold and hard edge of the bed, tears slid down my cheeks. Hegan Chengji picked up the pillow, stuffed it behind me, and gently wiped my tears. His fingers used to holding the sword were so rough, but when touching my skin, he was very careful, for fear that if the force was too strong, it would scratch my skin.His eyes were also so pure, as pure as a cloudless sunny day, a piece of blue, but as deep as water.There is clearly an indescribable feeling in the water shaking. Caressing my cheeks and passing through my hair, Hegan Chengji put his hands around my neck and slowly pulled me into his arms. Although summer is not over yet, my body is always cold these days.When surrounded by the warm embrace full of life, the warmth finally diffused into the body.I cried silently in that warm mass, then sobbed softly, and finally burst into tears. When he cried to his heart's content, Hegan Chengji's chest was hot and humid, and heaved very violently.That former iron boy actually choked up and said, "Rong Shu'er...Rong Shu'er, stop crying. I'm crying for you...my heart is broken!" I don't know what position Hegan Chengji is in the prince's mansion.But obviously he is also one of the prince's confidantes.In order to save me, he stayed by my side for several days and nights; after I woke up, he would only leave when I fell asleep; it seemed that he was quite free in his actions, and he did not always listen to orders in front of the prince . ——Perhaps, it was because he was worried about me that he neglected his duties like this. I spent the most difficult and painful half month in my life with his company.He completely lost the arrogance and savagery of that day, except for occasional comforting hugs, he never molested me at all, and he was actually quite a gentleman.