Chapter 18 Chapter Eighteen

After leaving him, one day, I went back to your Beludao apartment. I didn't go into your house.I guess your old servant won't let me in this time.Last time, after I left, you may have scolded her severely. I sit on the steps on the fifth floor every day, looking down at your door on the fourth floor.Want to wait for you to come back, want to see you. For many days, I didn't see you, only your servant went shopping. You may have gone out. Find or go back to the cold stairs every day to wait for you. It was winter at that time, and I was so cold that I was shivering. I was afraid that I would fall asleep when you came back.I don't want to sleep, I stand up from time to time, rubbing my cold hands and waiting for you.

Finally one day, I heard your heavy footsteps. I quickly hid at the corner of the stairs and peeked at you. It's really you!It's you!You came back with a suitcase, a long overcoat, and travel dust. I have been waiting for you.However, when I saw you, I was timid again. I was even afraid of being seen by you, so I hid hopelessly. When I heard the sound of your closing the door, I quietly chased down the stairs, looked at the closed wooden door, and insulted my own timidity. My hand lightly stroked the doorknob you touched just now, and with your remaining warmth, I walked down to the apartment.

I look up at your window.I saw the lights in your house come on. There are many days when I come back at night, secretly stand in the same place and look at your window, until your light goes out, I will not leave. I want to see myself giving up all the time, but the more I look at you, the more I miss you. On that cold and windy February night, I sat on the stairs on the fifth floor and waited for you again. I have decided, I want to pour out my heart to you. Once again I wait for you with humble hopes. It was about midnight when I finally heard footsteps going up the stairs.I stood up, excited, ready to rush at you.

The footsteps were getting closer. But you are not alone, you brought a woman back.She hooks your arm.I hear your jovial, provocative laughter. I saw her go into the house with you. You will fall in love with many women, just not me. With tears in my eyes, I stumble down the stairs, past your door.This time, I didn't use my cold, pale hand to caress the doorknob you touched when you opened it. I left your apartment without looking up at that window. I didn't come back until twenty years later.