Chapter 11 Chapter 10 How to Beat Time

You are downstairs, leaning on the railing to face the wind.I was upstairs, looking at the moon by the window.Heartbroken in two places, but it is a kind of lovesickness. When Wu Julan and I came down from the mountain, we saw a ladder erected outside the courtyard wall from a distance, and the courtyard door was half-hidden. I am angry, these thieves are too rampant!In broad daylight, bright and clear... I picked up a strong tree stick from the side of the road, rushed into the yard, and beat anyone I saw. "Ouch—" Jiang Yisheng turned his head while hiding. I was dumbfounded, and immediately threw the stick away, "I... thought it was another thief. How did you find my house?"

Jiang Yisheng said angrily: "Why did I break into your house? Tell me, why are you not at home? I called your phone and turned it off, and knocked on the door, but no one opened the door. Of course I want to look inside! Didn't you tell me you Will you sleep at home? Why didn't you tell me when you went out? I don't know if I will worry? " I said sorry: "My mobile phone fell into the sea, and I couldn't receive your call, and I couldn't call you." "Then why didn't you tell me when you went out? You didn't drop your phone into the sea when you went out, did you?"

I said with a guilty conscience, "I'm sorry, I went to find Wu Julan, and I didn't tell you because I was afraid you would stop me." "Can I not stop you? How can you find someone? I have never objected to you looking for Wu Julan, but you must first ensure your own safety. Let me tell you, even if Wu Julan is here, he must Stop you!" I asked for help and turned back to look at Wu Julan, but Wu Julan leaned against the courtyard door and said coolly, "Good scolding!" Only then did Jiang Yisheng see Wu Julan, he was taken aback for a moment, and said pleasantly, "Brother Wu, are you back?"

Wu Julan smiled and said gently: "I'm back." Jiang Yisheng saw my coat wrapped around his feet, and asked with concern: "Your feet hurt?" "No, I lost a shoe." Wu Julan said, sitting on the stone steps outside the kitchen, and untied the coat on her feet. Jiang Yisheng felt relieved, and said to me in surprise: "I didn't expect that you really found Brother Ang." Before I could get any better, Wu Julan said, "I would come back without her." With my mouth pursed, I took a pair of slippers from under the eaves of the living room, put them in front of Wu Julan's feet, turned and went into the kitchen.

Jiang Yisheng said to Wu Julan: "It's good that you come back safely. Those four gangsters..." "After I jumped into the sea, they should have escaped." Jiang Yisheng asked in shock, "You jumped into the sea from Yingzui Cliff?" "Ok." Jumping off Eagle's Mouth Cliff was safe and sound?Jiang Yisheng looked at me in disbelief, and I shrugged, saying that we should get used to Wu Julan's strangeness. Jiang Yisheng asked: "Do you want to call the police?" Wu Julan said, "Forget it!" Jiang Yisheng thought about it silently, and felt that he had to forget it.Wu Julan's identity was a bit troublesome, and those people did not cause any actual harm, so even if they called the police, it probably wouldn't be of much use.

Wu Julan saw me rummaging around in the kitchen, and he said, "Go and change your wet clothes first." I took the biscuit and said, "I'm hungry, I'll change my clothes after I have something to eat." Wu Julan said to Jiang Yisheng: "I'll make breakfast, if you haven't eaten in the morning, let's have it together!" I hurriedly said, "Don't bother, I'll just find something to eat." Wu Julan said lightly: "You can do whatever you want, but I can't." I was driven out of the kitchen by Wu Julan and went to take a hot bath.

After I washed my whole body to be warm and came out in clean clothes, Wu Julan had already made three bowls of Yangchun noodles and boiled a bowl of ginger soup. I ate nothing left of a bowl of noodles. Wu Julan asked: "Did you not eat well yesterday?" Jiang Yisheng snorted coldly, and opened his mouth to speak. Under the table, I stepped on Jiang Yisheng's foot, and Jiang Yisheng fell silent. I picked up the ginger soup and said with a smile: "It's your noodles that are so delicious." Wu Julan said blankly: "If you don't step on Jiang Yisheng with your feet, this sentence will be more convincing."

I was so embarrassed that I immediately retracted my feet obediently. Jiang Yisheng chuckled, "When we were young, the three of us thought that Datou and I were the worst, but we were clearly arrogant and bad, and Xiaoluo was a wimpy and bad, and she was responsible for many of the bad things we did. idea." I plausibly said: "Those are not bad things, they are reasonable revenge and resistance." Who told me that I have rich experience in struggle?From stepfather to stepmother, at a young age, he learned to fight in curves and stab in the back. Jiang Yisheng looked at me with a smile for a while, and said to Wu Julan: "When I was eleven years old, my father suddenly suffered from mental illness and became a lunatic. This became a watershed in my life. Before that, I was a good student who was versatile, smart and excellent. , the teacher likes it, and the classmates envy it; after that, when everyone mentions me, they become weird, the teacher's liking turns into pity, and the classmates no longer envy me, they often call me 'crazy', it seems that the smarter I am, the more neurotic I am The more abnormal, the more likely to become a lunatic..."

I interrupted Jiang Yisheng and said gently: "Why did you bring up these things all of a sudden?" Jiang Yisheng smiled at me, and continued to say to Wu Julan: "I have been used to being praised and envied since I was a child, and I didn't know how to deal with such a sudden life accident. I became reticent and gave up on myself. When scolding, I would just bear it silently, thinking that I would really become a lunatic sooner or later, and it didn’t matter. At that time, my mother was in great pain, and she had to take my father to seek medical treatment, so she didn’t have the energy to pay attention to me; the teacher and All the classmates thought it was natural for me to change after that happened. Only one classmate who had never spoken to me thought I should not be like this. She scolded all the classmates who called me 'crazy' and declared that I She is her friend. I ignored her, but she stalked me with a stern face, until I was so entangled that I had no choice but to be her friend. She took me, a good student, to do a lot that I can't think of. The things I dared to think about even instigated me to jump three grades in a row, I felt that I was already crazy, and I completely gave up the entanglement about whether I would become a crazy person."

Jiang Yisheng asked Wu Julan with a smile: "You know who I'm talking about, right? It's the woman who is stalking you now!" I said, "Hey! Don't talk to yourself like I don't exist, okay?" Jiang Yisheng restrained his smile, and said seriously to Wu Julan: "For me, Xiao Luo is a friend and a relative; she is a support and a concern. I care about her safety very much. Speed ​​robbery, burglary, and late-night attack have already It happened three times, if these things are related to you, please don't have a fourth time!" I stepped on Jiang Yisheng's foot hard, signaling him to shut up quickly.Jiang Yisheng ignored me completely, and kept looking at Wu Julan with a serious expression.

Wu Julan said: "Now I can't guarantee that a similar thing won't happen for the fourth time, but I can guarantee that no matter what happens, I will be there and Xiao Luo will be safe." Jiang Yisheng stared deeply at Wu Julan for a moment, laughed, and resumed his sloppy look, and stood up, saying: "You two, I'm going to work! I heard that the hospital will send a beautiful female doctor from abroad to communicate. , when you are free, help me prepare some surprising Valentine's set meals, I want to ask her out for dinner." I hurriedly said: "Genius doctor, remember to ask your friend to help continue to track down those two thieves." "Know." After watching Jiang Yisheng leave, I said to Wu Julan: "Don't take what Jiang Yisheng said just now to heart, we are only guessing that these three unlucky things should be related, not accidental." Wu Julan said: "Your guesses are completely correct." I asked in surprise, "Why are you so sure?" "Last time, you said that the person who robbed you of your money had a black mole on his hand?" "Yes!" I stretched out my hand and gestured for the position of the mop. Wu Julan said: "Of the four people who attacked us at Yingzui Cliff, one of them had a mole on his hand at the same position." Unexpectedly, this small detail helped us confirm our guess. It seems that the three incidents were really done by the same group of people, and they must have other plans. I cautiously asked: "Wu Julan, before... did you have anyone who hated you very much?" "Yes!" Wu Julan confessed with certainty. I felt a twinge in my heart, and just as I was about to ask, Wu Julan said, "However, they should all be dead." I asked in surprise, "Dead?" "This time I went ashore, the first person I met was you. The time I stay on land is limited, and the people I know are also limited. Except for Zhou Buwen, no one should hate me anymore." Wu Julan said with a half-smile look at me. I didn't want to discuss this matter with him, so I quickly continued to ask: "What happened before?" "The last time I went ashore as a human being, I think it should be... 1838 in the Gregorian calendar. I wanted to stay for a few more years, but something happened in 1865 and I went back to the sea." Wu Julan said lightly: "That time I landed in Europe. After living in Europe for more than ten years, I went to the New World with the ship and settled in New York. Even if those who hate me have very persistent descendants, they should be far away on the other side of the earth. It is impossible to know I'm here." I was in a mess in the wind, and my whole body was petrified, staring blankly at Wu Julan.He said 18, 18 how many years?Continental Europe?New World?Is he serious? Wu Julan sighed silently, "Xiaoluo, I'm telling the truth, this is me. I'm not the right person, you should find someone who is suitable for you as your partner..." My mind was confused and my temper became violent, "Shut up! I know what I should do!" Wu Julan really closed her mouth, silently packed up the dishes and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes. I sat alone for quite a while, then walked to the door of the kitchen and said, "Wu Julan, you did it on purpose just now! You could have told me the same thing in a gentle way, but you deliberately frightened me! Let me tell you , all your tricks will not work, I will never be scared away by you!" After I finished speaking, I immediately turned around and walked to the living room. I didn't sleep for two consecutive nights, and I had a splitting headache, but because what happened in the past two days was challenging my tolerance limit, every nerve in my brain seemed to be stimulated, completely uncontrollable, making noises one after another. With that, I don't feel sleepy at all. I took out the high-strength liquor prepared for the guests, poured myself a full glass, raised my head and poured it down. The strong alcohol rolled down from my throat to my stomach like a ball of flame, causing a burning sensation in my internal organs, and my spirit gradually relaxed. I held on to the stairs, climbed up the stairs staggeringly, and fell on the bed weakly, without even covering the quilt, I closed my eyes drowsily. When I was about to fall asleep, I felt Wu Julan hugged my head, let me lie on the pillow, and helped me cover the quilt again. I would love to open my eyes, look at him, maybe even hug him, but the beauty, or rather the hate, of being drunk is that you feel like you know everything, but the connection between your neurons and your body is severed , just can't control the body. Wu Julan stroked my hair and cheeks gently, I tried my best to turn my head and put my face in his cold palm, expressing my reluctance and attachment. Wu Julan didn't take her hand away, and let me stick to it until I smiled and passed out completely. At around seven in the evening, I woke up. Actually slept all day?I will definitely not be able to sleep at night, do I have to pass US time? America, 1865, New York in the 19th century...how many years ago? I stared at the roof, stared blankly for a while, and decided... let's go to dinner first! After I washed up, I tied my ponytail and ran downstairs, "Wu Julan!" "Wu, Ju, Lan!" Jiang Yisheng's voice came from the living room, he imitated me and barked strangely. I said depressedly: "Why are you here to eat again?" "I'm happy!" Jiang Yisheng held a glass of red wine in his hand, with his legs resting on the coffee table, and everyone was lying on the sofa in a straight shape. I said to Wu Julan: "I'm hungry, do you have anything to eat? Don't make it for me specially, I will eat whatever you have left." Wu Julan turned around and went to the kitchen. Jiang Yisheng handed me a new mobile phone, "I went to buy it at noon, and it's still your old number, as is Brother Ang's. Just give me the money for a mobile phone, and yours is considered a birthday present." I took it with a smile, "Thank you! Where's Wu Julan's phone? Have you shown it to him?" "I've seen it." Jiang Yisheng pointed to the round table at the corner of the sofa, on which was a mobile phone, "The speed at which the two of you lost your mobile phone is really domineering!" I ignored his ridicule, picked up Wu Julan's mobile phone and compared mine, the model is the same, but the color is different.I said with satisfaction: "Couple machine, I am so relieved!" Jiang Yisheng disdainfully said, "Is it hard to guess if you think so carefully?" I kept silent, busy saving my mobile phone number in Wu Julan's mobile phone, and adjusted his mobile phone ringtone to be exactly the same as before.My choice has nothing to do with aesthetics or preferences. There is only one criterion. The ringtone is loud enough and long enough to ensure that when I call Wu Julan, he will definitely hear it. Jiang Yisheng waited for me to finish my work, and handed me a folder, "I just asked Brother Ang to look at them. He doesn't know them at all, and he can't think of any relevant information." I looked through the personal information of the two thieves, as well as the information of the lawyer and guarantor who helped them release on bail. Looking carefully line by line, I didn't see any doubts.An ordinary thief, an ordinary crime, the guarantor is the sister of one of them, and she hired the lawyer. I sighed and closed the folder, "These two people must know something, but if they don't tell, there's nothing we can do." "Don't worry, this is just the beginning of the investigation, there will always be clues, there is nothing perfect in the world." Jiang Yisheng said. "I'm not in a hurry. Those people should be the ones who are in a hurry. If my guess is correct, they must have a plan, and the fourth unlucky thing will definitely happen." I patted the folder, "Since nothing can be found for the time being, let's Just sit back and wait for the rabbit!" Although I said don't bother, Wu Julan turned on the fire and made me a bowl of crystal shrimp fried rice. When he walked into the living room with the meal, I happened to say to Jiang Yisheng: "Those bad guys didn't come after Wu Julan, they should come after me." "Why do you speculate like that?" Jiang Yisheng asked. I glanced at Wu Julan and said, "Anyway, I have every reason to believe that those bad guys didn't come after Wu Julan. Since he was ruled out, it could only be me." "Tell me your good reasons and listen." "I do not want to tell you." Jiang Yisheng looked at me like he was insane, "Miss Shen, you should be very clear whether those people came for you or Wu Julan, there are two completely different ways to deal with them. Such an important judgment , you won’t tell me? Maybe there is a clue in your judgment!” I said arrogantly: "Anyway, I have a reason, do you believe me or not?" Jiang Yisheng was speaking to me, but his eyes were on Wu Julan, "This is not a question of whether you believe me or not, but a basic analysis and logic. Compared with Wu Julan, of course Wu Julan is more likely to cause trouble people." I smiled wryly and said, "But the person who caused trouble this time is really me. Although I can't even figure it out myself, I will tell you the reason for my judgment when I want to say it." Jiang Yisheng said: "Okay, I won't ask you why, just assume that everything is directed at you." He raised his head, drank the red wine, put down the glass and said to Wu Julan: "Before you find out everything, Don't leave Xiaoluo alone." He stood up and waved to us, "I'm going home." I picked up the fried rice and ate silently, while Wu Julan sat on the other side of the sofa, quietly flipping through a book. I sneaked a few glances and found that it belonged to Gibran. I couldn't help but feel happy because Gibran is one of my favorite writers.In fact, it’s not a big deal, but knowing that Wu Julan likes to read my favorite books, it’s like discovering a little bit of my bond with him in this unpredictable world, even if it’s just a little bit, it’s still gratifying. After I was full, I put down the bowl and said to Wu Julan with a smile: "You didn't call me during the day, which made me sleep all day, and I must have insomnia at night." It's a pity that Wu Julan didn't feel any guilt at all. While reading the book, he casually suggested: "You can pour yourself another big glass of white wine." I was so choked up that I couldn't say a word and stared at him.Unmoved, Wu Julan calmly flipped through the book and let me stare. I stared and stared, and unknowingly turned into looking carefully. I looked at the feet carefully from the head, and I couldn't see anything strange at all. If Wu Julan didn't force me to face this fact all the time, I'm afraid I would soon forget what I saw last night!Because I don't know what to do psychologically, even secretly glad that he only turns into... a fish once a month. I know that it's not that Wu Julan doesn't like me, it's just that besides liking, he still has a lot of realities to consider. Any reality that I guessed or didn't guess at all may stop him. Wu Julan said: "After the next full moon night, if you haven't changed your mind, I..." At that time, he didn't finish his sentence, and I took it for granted as "I will accept you".Now, I understand that he didn't mean that at all. He didn't continue to speak, not because he was hesitant to say something, but because he really felt that there should be no more words. This following is what I forced to come!But, since it's coming shamelessly, I don't intend to let go! The beginning of any adult relationship will be filled with doubt and uncertainty, because we are too early to believe that "true love is invincible" and "from now on, the prince and princess live happily ever after".It is normal to have doubts and uncertainties. That is a more responsible attitude towards oneself. That’s why we have to fall in love and communicate. Compromise, a little tolerance, this is the love of adults. I have only lived for twenty-six years, and I am already full of pessimism and disbelief in this world.Wu Julan is older than me, and his experience is more complicated than mine. I allow him to have a little more doubt and uncertainty.As long as he still likes me, then everything can be resolved, we can get to know each other slowly, get along with each other slowly, and let time overcome all doubts and uncertainties. I sat next to Wu Julan and called out "Wu Julan" softly, indicating that I had something to say. Wu Julan closed the book, put the book on the coffee table, and looked at me calmly. I held Wu Julan's hand tentatively. He didn't reject, but he didn't respond either. He looked at me calmly, and you could even say that he looked at me indifferently, as if to show nakedly——for him, my touch, Not to mention ripples in the heart, even troubles and troubles are not worthy of causing him. If it was another girl, I'm afraid she would have covered her face in shame and backed away, but I... Anyway, it's not the first time I've lost my face and skin! I gently scratched his palm with my index finger and middle finger, but he didn’t respond, so I kept scratching, scratching, scratching, scratching... Wu Julan held my hand with his backhand, stopping me from going on endlessly teasing. I was secretly happy in my heart, but I said solemnly on my face: "It's been a long night, I don't want to sleep, let's chat!" "What are you talking about?" "Talk casually, such as your affairs, if you are interested in my affairs, I will know everything and talk endlessly." Wu Julan never expected that I would stop running away so soon and decided to face everything.He stared at me for a moment before asking calmly, "What do you want to know?" I said as nonchalantly as possible, "Your age." Wu Julan said: "I have been living at the bottom of the sea. The so-called mountains have no sun and moon. The way you calculate time is meaningless to me." I was silent for a while, and asked: "You said that the last time you landed was in Europe in 1838. How many times have you been on land?" "This time now, once in 1838, and the first time, a total of three times." The experience is fairly simple!I breathed a sigh of relief and asked curiously, "When did you first land on land?" "The eighth year of Kaiyuan." I didn't ask "where" again, because this method of dating the year and the word "Kaiyuan" are known to all Chinese who have read a little history books.Although I had made various psychological preparations in advance, I was still shocked. I was stunned for a while, jumped up suddenly, ran to the study, took out the "Dictionary of Appreciation of Tang Poetry", turned to Wang Wei's poem, and quickly read line by line: Finally, finally... I understand!Wu Julan's light sigh that day was not a feeling of "everything from the ages, all in silence", but a real sigh from the time of the ages. I looked crazy, threw down the book in a hurry, sat down at the computer desk in a hurry, and searched for Wang Wei: 701-761 AD, a famous poet and painter in the Tang Dynasty, with the word Mojie and the name Mojie Jushi. I just wanted to find out how many years the eighth year of Kaiyuan was in AD, Wu Julan walked up behind me and said, "Eighth year of Kaiyuan, AD 720." The year Wu Julan entered Chang'an was the heyday of the Tang Dynasty. "Chang'an Avenue is narrow and slanted, with green cattle, white horses and seven fragrant chariots. The jade chariot crosses the main house, and the golden whips flow towards the Hou family." That year, Wang Wei was nineteen years old, and it was the time of poetry and wine when "meeting and drinking for the king, tied to the side of horses, tall buildings and weeping willows". I heard my own voice was like smoke, it didn't seem to come from my own mouth, "Do you know Wang Wei?" "Ok." No wonder the tone of his voice sounded strange to me at the time. My mind was blank for a while, and I subconsciously searched for Li Bai: A.D. 701-762, a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty, with the word Taibai and the name Qinglianjushi. It turned out that Li Bai was only nineteen years old that year, and he was the young Feiyang who "has a strong temperament and is willing to fall behind others". Wasn't Wu Julan like that back then?In the prime of life, poetry and wine are songs, "I am drunk and want to sleep, and I will go, and the Ming Dynasty intends to bring the piano." I murmured, "Do you know Li Bai?" "I've drank wine a few times, and compared swords a few times." "Where's Du Fu?" "Because I don't look old, I can't live in one place for a long time, so I have to wander around. In the second year of Shangyuan, I once saw Zimei by the Huanhua River in Sichuan." Wu Julan's expression and tone were very flat, but I didn't dare to ask again.From the prosperity of Kaiyuan to the chaos of Anshi, from the prosperity of singing and dancing to the pain of the world, after reading it for thousands of years, I feel thrilling, sad and regretful, let alone those who are in the middle. "Since you can't live in one place for a long time, why don't you go back to the sea?" Wu Julan smiled lightly, "I was too young at that time, and it was the first time I lived on land, so I was so absorbed in myself that I could do nothing, but I couldn't let go of anything." "When did you leave then?" "In the sixth year of Dali, AD 771, I took a boat from the Zhoushan Islands and went east to Japan to visit my old man. When I arrived in Japan, he died of illness. After living in Tangzhaoti Temple for half a year, I returned to the sea." From 720 A.D. to 771 A.D., fifty-two years of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, watching countless familiar friends grow old and die. For Wu Julan, who has a long lifespan and has never been old, it should be equivalent to several lifetimes. It is no wonder that he sees nothing in the ups and downs, and is indifferent and indifferent. Suddenly, I understood why it took him thousands of years to land on land again. It was still a continent with no memory. The laughter and sorrow engraved in the memory were too heavy! I walked up to Wu Julan and hugged him tenderly. Wu Julan's body trembled imperceptibly, "Aren't you afraid?" His voice was as cold as his body temperature, as if carrying the vicissitudes and heaviness of a thousand years. I put my head in his arms and hugged him tightly with my arms, hoping that my warmth could melt a little bit of his coldness, "It is time that scares me, not you." "But what you can see and touch is me, not time. Now you are still young, and you don't think it matters, but what about ten or twenty years later? I am still the same now, what will you become?" Wu Julan said Standing still, her voice was so calm that there was no ups and downs, but her words were as sharp as ice picks, as if they were going to stab hard into my heart. At this moment, I really hated Wu Julan's rationality and coldness. He refused to let me get confused or escape, and always laid out everything naked in front of me. I clearly felt his feelings for me, but he mercilessly tried to push me away again and again, forcing me to give up my feelings and give up on him! I was silent for a long time and said, "I will grow old and ugly." "I can't live in one place for a long time, you have to follow me, no friends, no home, then my existence will be your worst nightmare. Old and ugly, you will hate me and fear me, Do everything you can to escape from me." Wu Julan said cruel words while pushing me away with a smile. I grabbed his hand subconsciously, not wanting him to leave, but at this moment, my hand was colder than his. "Shen Luo, don't waste your short life on me, go find a man who really suits you!" Wu Julan pulled my hand away indifferently and relentlessly, "Wait until we find out who is targeting you, and confirm that I have nothing to do with you." After the relationship, I will leave, so you can treat it as a dream that you met me!" Dizzy, I walked out of the study like sleepwalking and went back to my bedroom. The room was pitch black, and my heart felt suffocated and stuffy. With a few "swish swishes", I drew all the curtains and opened all the windows.The cool evening wind rushed in all at once, causing the papers on the table to fly and the curtains to flutter. I curled up on the rattan chair in front of the window and looked at the full moon in the sky for a long time. The moon from thousands of years ago should look similar to the moon tonight! However, people can't do it. Birth, old age, sickness and death, none of them can escape.A woman's youth is even more limited. Ten years later, I will be thirty-six years old. If I take good care of myself, I can still say that I am a young lady and still have a charming charm, but what about twenty years later?What does a forty-six-year-old woman look like?What does a fifty-year-old woman look like? At that time, what was it like for me to stand with Wu Julan, who had a long lifespan and was not old? The most beautiful vow of love in China is "hold your hand and grow old together". If you can't even grow old together, is the hand you hold still the lover's hand? I smiled sadly and helplessly. I thought I mustered up all my courage, faced this relationship with confidence, and made up my mind that no matter how many doubts and uncertainties there are between me and him, we can slowly understand and communicate slowly, and let time overcome All doubts and uncertainties. However, it never occurred to me that the biggest problem between us was "time". What should I use to beat time? Even Wu Julan, who has a millennium of wisdom and is almost omnipotent, doesn't know what to do about this problem, so he deliberately said sharply like "you are old and ugly" to hurt me and force me to give up. Intellectually, I agree with Wu Julan's decision.Since the future is a narrower and narrower dead end, destined to hurt everyone, we should indeed choose to give up. However, emotionally, I only know that I like him, and he likes me too.I am willing to accept his inhuman identity, and he does not reject me as an ordinary human woman, why can't we be together? The darker the night, the cooler the wind, but I seemed to have turned into a stone sculpture, sitting in front of the window, blowing the cool wind. Suddenly, I sneezed violently a few times, and I was so embarrassed that I had to stand up to take a facial tissue. After wiping my nose, I picked up the phone on the table and took a look. It was four o'clock in the morning in ten minutes. I sat by the window unknowingly for six or seven hours. No wonder I was so cold that my nose was about to runny, but I don’t know which nerve of mine failed, but I didn’t feel cold at all. I leaned on the window sill and looked out of the window: under the moonlight, the dragon spit pearl flowers are bright and clean, moving with the wind; Jiulixiang piled up with clouds and snow, and the dark fragrance hits people. I thought of Wu Julan sitting lazily among the flowers, quietly watching the fallen flowers swaying, and couldn't help but put his hands on his heart, and sighed silently. I'm not Wu Julan, I don't have his rationality, let alone his indifference to others and himself.Maybe no matter how long I think about it, I still can't figure out whether I should give up rationally or stick to it. However, falling in love is a matter between two people, no matter what I think, Wu Julan seems to have made a decision... Suddenly, my heart moved. Wu Julan forced me to give up, did he give up? Am I the only one who can't sleep at night after saying so many cruel things that I know will hurt me? In an instant, I made a desperate decision, leaving the undecidable to fate to decide—— If I called Wu Julan at this time and he responded, then fate told me not to give up!If he doesn't respond, then fate tells me that I should... give up! I leaned my head to the window, put my hands around my mouth, and wanted to call him.However, I was so nervous that my hands and feet were weak, my heart was beating wildly, and my throat was so dry that I didn't make a sound. Am I really going to put my fate and my future on a single call? What if, what if...he was already asleep and couldn't hear me at all, or he heard it, but he didn't want to respond to me? I took a few deep breaths and calmed down a little. In the tangle of fear, I summoned up all my courage and called softly to the misty night outside the window: "Wu, Wu... Wu Julan." Because I was too nervous, my voice sounded hoarse and hoarse, still With a little trembling. Originally, I thought that I would have to go through painful waiting before I could get an answer, but I didn't expect it at all. As soon as my voice fell, I heard Wu Julan's voice from the downstairs window, "What's wrong with you? Where is it?" Comfortable?" I froze in astonishment. A moment later, while covering my mouth and smiling excitedly and joyfully, I slipped limply and fell to my knees on the ground. I lay down on the floor, huddled into a ball, covering my face with my hands, tears streaming down my face silently. You are downstairs, leaning on the railing to face the wind. I was upstairs, looking at the moon by the window. Heartbroken in two places, but it is a kind of lovesickness. You make me give up? No!I don't give up! I was ecstatically covering my face and weeping, when Wu Julan flew in from the window without a sound. When he saw me kneeling on the floor, he rushed over and put his arms around me, "What's wrong with you?" I held him, shook my head, and just cried. He doesn't understand, I'm not uncomfortable, but I'm too happy, too joyful, I'm worried about him, I'm worried about him. He touched my forehead and said angrily: "You have a fever! Now I know it's uncomfortable, why don't you know how to think about it when you blow the cold wind?" See me silent, crying all the time.He took my hand, felt my pulse, and asked softly, "Where is the pain?" I shook my head, choked up and said, "No, it's not uncomfortable anywhere." He was puzzled, "It's not uncomfortable, why are you crying?" I cried and laughed and said: "Because you heard my cry, because you can't sleep..." Wu Julan seemed to understand what I was talking about, her expression turned back, frost was on her brows again, she withdrew the hand that was holding my pulse, and said coldly, "I have a bad cold." He picked me up, put me on the bed, covered me with the quilt, and turned to leave. I immediately grabbed his hand and looked at him with red eyes and teary eyes. His cold expression loosened a bit, and he said helplessly, "I'll get the antipyretics." I let go, and he closed all the windows and drew all the curtains before going downstairs to get the medicine. After a while, he came up with the antipyretic medicine, poured me a glass of warm water, and asked me to take the medicine first. He handed the electronic thermometer to my mouth and motioned for me to suck it. A few seconds later, he took out the thermometer, glanced at the displayed number, frowned, and said to me: "The medicine you just took will make you drowsy, sleep well." I don't know if it's because of the effect of the medicine or because of the fever, my whole body becomes weak and weak, and I don't even have the strength to open my eyes.I gradually closed my eyes and fell asleep. However, I have been sleeping restlessly, and it has been painful from head to toe, inside and out.For a while, it was like being roasted on the stove, and the whole body was smoking; for a while, it was like falling into an ice cellar, and the whole body was shivering with cold. Feeling dizzy, I feel that someone has been taking good care of me.My brain is in a daze, I don't have the strength to think at all, I can't figure out who he is, but I am happy for no reason, it seems that as long as he is by my side, even if I have been so painful that I am sometimes roasted and sometimes frozen, I am willing. When I opened my eyes, the room was dimly lit, so I couldn't tell how long I had slept. Wu Julan sat on the wicker chair next to the bed, closed her eyes and fell asleep.As soon as I struggled to move, he opened his eyes. My throat seemed to have been scorched by smoke, it was dry and sore, I opened my mouth, but didn't say a word. But Wu Julan immediately understood what I meant, and brought a glass of warm water to my mouth. I gulped down half a glass, and my thirst subsided, but I still felt a burning pain in my throat. Combined with the symptoms of top-heavy and body weakness, it seemed that my cold was really serious this time. I said hoarsely, "How could it... be so serious?" 吴居蓝讥嘲：“泡了一夜海水，又吹了一夜冷风，你以为自己是铁打的吗？没烧成肺炎已经算你运气好了。” 他拉开窗帘，我才发现外面艳阳高照，应该已经是中午。 吴居蓝问：“饿了吗？我熬了白粥。” “不、要。”我晕晕沉沉，十分难受，没有一点胃口。 吴居蓝走到桌边，打开瓦罐，盛了一小碗稀稀的粥，“稍微喝一点。” 我不愿拂逆他，强打起精神，坐了起来。 我一边慢慢地喝着粥，一边偷偷地看吴居蓝。他已经好几天没有好好休息了，可面色一如往常，看不出一丝疲惫。 我喝完粥，对吴居蓝说：“你去休息吧，不用担心我。我从小到大身体特别好，很少生病，就算生病，也会很快就好。” 吴居蓝静静地盯了我一瞬，没有搭理我，转身端起一个碗，递给我，“吃药。” 竟然是一碗黑乎乎的中药，我闻着味道就觉得苦，刚想说“感冒而已，吃点西药就行了”，突然反应过来，我又没有去看中医，哪里来的中药方子？ 我试探地问：“你开的药？” 吴居蓝淡淡应了声“嗯”。 我再不喜欢吃中药，也不敢嫌弃这碗药了。我捧过碗，尝了一口，立即眉头皱成了一团，实在是太苦、太难喝了！但看看吴居蓝，我一声不敢吭，憋着口气，咕咚咕咚地一口气喝完。放下碗时，只觉得嘴里又苦又涩，立即着急地找水喝。 吴居蓝站在床边，拿着水杯，冷眼看着我，就是不把水递给我。 我可怜兮兮地看着他，“水！” 他冷冷地说：“知道生病的滋味不好受，以后就长个记性，下次还开着窗户吹冷风吗？” 我怀疑那碗中药那么苦，是他在故意惩罚我，但什么都不敢说，乖巧地摇头，表示以后绝不再犯。 他终于把水杯递给了我，我赶紧喝了几口水，把嘴里的苦味都咽了下去。 吴居蓝说：“药有催眠作用，你觉得困了，就继续睡。” 我躺了一会儿，觉得眼皮变得越来越沉，迷迷糊糊又睡了过去。 不过，这一次，我没有再感觉一会儿热、一会儿冷，睡得十分踏实。 睡醒了就吃饭吃药，吃完了就再睡。 第二天傍晚，我再次醒来时，除了身子还有点酸软、嗓子还有点不舒服外，差不多已经好了。从小到大，我都是这样，身体比大头和神医还好，很少生病，即使生病也好得很快。 我眯着眼睛，悄悄地看吴居蓝。他坐在床旁的藤椅上，大概觉得有些无聊，捧着一本笔记本，拿着几支铅笔，在上面涂涂抹抹。 我双手一撑，坐了起来，端起床头柜上的水杯，一边喝水，一边看着吴居蓝。 他瞟了我一眼，看我能照顾自己，低下了头，继续涂涂抹抹。 我放下水杯，笑问：“你在画画吗？画的什么？” 吴居蓝一声不吭地把手里的笔记本递给了我。我笑着接过，一页页翻过去，笑容渐渐从脸上消失。 吴居蓝画了三张素描图，全是我和他，只不过是不同年龄的我和他。 第一张是现在的我和吴居蓝。我躺在病床上，他守在一旁照顾我，看上去就是一个男子在照顾年轻的恋人，透着温馨甜蜜。 第二张是十几年后的我和吴居蓝。我憔悴痛苦地躺在病床上，他守在一旁照顾我，看上去像是儿子在照顾母亲。 第三张是几十年后的我和吴居蓝。我鸡皮鹤发、奄奄一息地躺在病床上，他守在一旁照顾我，看上去像是孙子在照顾祖母。 只是黑白二色的素描图，但吴居蓝的绘画技巧十分高明，每幅图都纤毫毕现、栩栩如生，让人如同在看真实的照片。 我看完最后一张图后，面色苍白地抬起头，盯着吴居蓝。 他的理智，总是让他在温柔之后变得很冷酷。如果每一次对我的好是不小心给了我理由去坚持对他的感情，他一定会立即再做一些事情来伤害我，给我更多的理由去放弃这份感情。 虽然明明知道，他这么做，并不是因为对我无情，但是，我的心依旧像是被利刃狠狠刺入，鲜血淋漓得疼痛。 我心情沉重地伸出手，想把笔记本递还给吴居蓝。 他淡淡瞥了一眼，没有接，面无表情地看向我，“这三幅图画的都是你，送给你了。” 我紧紧地咬着唇，拿着笔记本的手在轻轻地颤着。 他视而不见，站起身，冷淡地说：“晚饭已经准备好，你换件衣服就能下来吃了。” 等他走了，我一直伸在半空中的手猛地垂落，笔记本“啪”的一声掉到了地上。 我抱着膝盖，缩在床上，身体不受控制地打着战。三张栩栩如生的图画比任何语言都更有杀伤力，他逼着我去看见未来的残酷，提醒我这是我必须面对的现实，不可能因为爱情，更不可能因为一时的心软和感动而改变。 我盯着地上的笔记本，很想闭上眼睛，不再去看它，但是，现实就是不论如何逃避都迟早会发生的事实。 我咬了咬牙，猛地弯下身子，把笔记本从地上捡了起来。 吴居蓝，如果这就是你要我看清楚的未来，我会仔仔细细地看清楚！ 我克制着自己的恐惧和抗拒，翻开了笔记本，慢慢地把三张图从头到尾又看了一遍。 仍然没有看清楚，那就再看一遍！ 仍然不敢直视图画里的自己，那就再看一遍！ 仍然在害怕，那就再看一遍！ ... 我自虐般地一遍又一遍地看着三张图。 来来回回、反反复复，我就像真的被这三张图带进了时光的长河中，青年、中年、老年……时不我待、流光无情，我垂垂老矣，他朗朗依旧。 我闭上了眼睛，默默地想着每一幅图。 很久后，我突然下了床，走到书桌前，拿起笔，在每张图的空白处写下了一段话。 放下笔，我脚步轻快地走进卫生间，决定冲个热水澡。 把一身的汗渍都洗干净后，就好像把一身的病菌都冲掉了，感觉全身上下一轻，整个人都精神了。 我吹干头发，把长发编成辫子，仔细盘好，换上最喜欢的一条裙子，戴了一条自己做的项链，项坠就是吴居蓝送我的那颗黑珍珠。 因为面容仍有病色，我涂了BB霜，拍了散粉，还扫了点腮红，让自己看上去气色好一点。 我看看镜子中的自己，自我感觉还不错，我拿起笔记本，下了楼。 窗外夜色深沉，窗内灯火通明。 吴居蓝坐在饭桌前，安静地等着我。 他下楼时，天色仍亮，这一等就等了两个多小时，等得天色尽黑、饭菜凉透，他却没有一丝不耐烦。 我停住了脚步，站在院子里，隔窗看着他。 他抬眸看向了我，我相信他肯定设想过我的各种反应，却怎么想都没有想到，我的满血复活能力这么强，才被狠狠打击过，就又神采奕奕、明媚鲜亮地出现了。 他表情明显一怔，我朝他笑了笑。 我走进厨房，坐到他旁边的座位上，把笔记本端端正正地放到桌上。 我平静地说：“你送我的三张图我已经都认真看完了，作为回赠，我送你三句话。” 我把笔记本推到了他面前，他迟疑了一下，打开了笔记本。 三幅图、三句话。 每句话都端端正正地写在每幅图的空白处。 第一幅图：所谓伊人，在水一方。Backtracking from it, the road is long and obstructive.Backtracking from it, Wan is in the middle of the water. 第二幅图：所谓伊人，在水之湄。Follow it back and forth, the road blocks and joins.Backtracking from it, Wan is in the water. 第三幅图：所谓伊人，在水之涘。Go back from the road, resistance and right.From the back of the tour, Wan is in the water. 吴居蓝一一翻看完，眉头紧蹙，疑惑地看向我，不明白我的话和他的图有什么关系。 我往他身边凑了凑，低下头，一边毫不回避地翻看着三张图，一边说：“三张图，都是我身体不好，虚弱无力，最需要人照顾时。第一张，我正青春明媚时，你在。” 我翻到第二张图，“我人到中年，容颜枯萎时，你在。” 我翻到第三张图，“我人到老年，鸡皮鹤发时，你仍在。” 我抬头看着吴居蓝，轻声说：“你知道吗？有四个字恰好可以形容这三张图表达的意思——不离不弃！” 吴居蓝被我的神发挥给彻底震住了，呆滞地看了我一瞬，刚想要开口反驳，我立即说：“我知道，你本来的意思不是这个！但写下了'小圣经'的纪伯伦说过，'如果你想了解他，不要去听他说出的话，而是要去听他没有说出的话。'你潜意识画下的东西才是你最真实的内心，不管我什么样，在我需要你的时候，你完全没有想过对我弃之不顾。” 向来反应敏锐、言辞犀利的吴居蓝第一次被我说得张口结舌。 我轻轻拍了下笔记本说：“不离不弃，是我所能想到的最好的爱情誓言，谢谢你！我对你的爱情誓言是三句话，借用了古人的诗歌！” 我笑了笑说：“古人的东西，你肯定比我清楚！我的意中人在河水那一方，逆着水流去找他，道路险阻又漫长，顺着水流去找他，他仿佛在水中央。不管是逆流、还是顺流，他总是遥不可及，可望而不可求。” 我对吴居蓝做了个鬼脸，“不过，没有关系！他已经许诺了对我不离不弃，他会等着我，直到我克服他给我设下的所有艰险，走到他身边。” 吴居蓝表情惊愕、目光锋利，像看怪物一样盯着我。 我寸步不让，一直和他对视。 我并不是那种“为了爱情就可以抛弃自尊、不顾一切”的女人，也不是那种“就算你不爱我，我也会默默爱你一辈子”的女人。如果我真的爱错了人，就算要承受剜心剖腹之痛，我也肯定能做到你既无情我便休！ 但是，你若不离不弃，我只能生死相随！ 很久后，吴居蓝扶着额头，无力地叹了口气，喃喃说：“我真不知道到底你是怪物，还是我是怪物。” 我仔细想了想，认真地说：“大概都是！你没有听过网络上的一句话吗？极品都是成双成对地出现的！” 吴居蓝被我气笑了，“沈螺，是不是不管我说什么，你都有本事厚着脸皮曲解成自己想要的意思？” 我厚着脸皮说：“不是曲解，而是我蕙质兰心、冰雪聪明，看透了你不愿意说出，或者不敢说出的话！” 我指着第三张图中鸡皮鹤发、苍老虚弱的我，理直气壮地质问：“你画这些图时，可有过一丝抛弃我的念头？一丝都没有！在你想象的未来中，就算我变得又老又丑，行动迟缓、反应笨拙，你依旧在照顾我、陪伴我！” 吴居蓝垂眸盯着图，一声不吭，眼眸中渐渐涌起很深切的悲伤。 我也盯着图看起来，不再是从我的眼中，看到总是不老的他，而是从他的眼中，看到日渐衰老、卧于病榻的我。 我心中弥漫起悲伤，低声问：“画这些画时，很难受吧？” 吴居蓝抬眸看着我，眼神很意外。 我说：“你逼着我面对未来时，自己也要面对。看着我渐渐老去，甚至要亲眼看着我死亡，却什么都做不了，肯定很难受吧？” 执子之手，却不能与子偕老时，我固然要面对时间的残酷，承受时间带来的痛苦，他又何尝不是呢？我们俩的痛苦，没有孰轻孰重，一定都痛彻心扉。但是，时间上，他却要更加漫长。死者长已矣，生者尚悲歌！ 吴居蓝的神情骤变，明显我的话戳到了他的痛处。 我轻轻地握住了他的手。 吴居蓝不言不动，看着窗外，却目无焦距，视线飘落在黑漆漆的虚空之中。 很久后，他收回了目光，凝视着我，开口说道：“爱一个人应该是希望他过得快乐幸福。你很清楚自己时间有限，短暂的陪伴后，就会离开我，给我留下长久的痛苦，为什么还要坚持开始？你的爱就是明知道最后的结果是痛苦，还要自私地开始吗？” 他的声音平静清澈，没有一丝烟火气息，就像数九寒天的雪花，无声无息、漫漫落下，却将整个天地冰封住。 我着急地想要说点什么，否定他的诘问，可是心里却白茫茫一片，根本想不出来能说什么。 一直以来，我都是从自己的角度出发，考虑着吴居蓝的非人身份，他不同于人类的漫长寿命和不老容颜，问自己是否有足够的勇气去接受他的一切。 但是，我一直忽略了从他的角度出发，考虑他的感受。 我对他而言，也是非我族类，是个异类，和他强横的生命相比，我还有可怕的弱点——寿命短暂、肉体脆弱。当我思考接受他要承受的一切时，他也必须要思考接受我要承受的一切。 我总是想当然地觉得接纳他，我需要非凡的勇气，甚至自我牺牲，可实际上，他接纳我，更需要非凡的勇气，更需要自我牺牲。 吴居蓝的神情恢复了平静淡然、波澜不兴的样子，温和地说：“吃饭吧，把你的身体先养好！”