Chapter 65 3. I'm glad I didn't miss her

(one) "What is there about her that you should care about so much?" The one who asked this question was Xiang Anni, her face was full of despair, in fact, she asked me this question when we met in a bar a few nights ago.At that time, I replied with a relaxed mood: "This girl has a really strong personality. I will admit it if I fall into her hands." I didn't expect that answer would irritate Xiang Anni, she answered the call from Yi Min.I hurried back to try to save her, but her answer was decisive, leaving no room for it, and strode away without looking back, of course.I stayed where I was, frustrated and exasperated.Yes, it seems to be by this lake too. I took a walk with her and jokingly said that she is the kind of person who can treat life and death as ordinary goodbyes.She wasn't angry, but rather amused.When it came time to break up, she didn't even say goodbye, and I realized that she didn't want to see each other at all.

At this point, I don't want to answer any questions from Annie anymore: "My feelings have nothing to do with you. You can do whatever you want if you insist on not resigning. Go to the personnel department to go through the transfer procedures." She sneered: "What is this? It's not fair to blame me for your breakup. What's the point of you pretending to be a lover in front of me? You didn't promise me anything, I voluntarily. I just want to know, I Does your relationship mean nothing to you? Or can you tell me that your relationship is so fragile that you can't even face a little fact? Doesn't she know that your attitude towards life has always been like this? "

"I'm not blaming you, Anne. I just don't want to see you again, and I will hate my own behavior even more when I see you. Your feelings, I'm sorry, are your business." Without saying a word, she turned and walked out of the office. Of course Yi Min knew that I had been living a casual life, so she had always distrusted me and resisted me. But that's it, she promised. I went back to celebrate her birthday, this lonely child, alone in that empty house, and didn't expect anyone to remember her.Seeing me, she hugged me hard like that, and put her head on my chest like that.She gently said "yes" to me and promised to go to Shenzhen with me after graduation. I was just happy at that time.

Now I realized that what I gave her was just a little warmth, but she promised to change her life for me for the first time. But I didn't appreciate the weight of the word "good", and didn't pay attention to the hard-won promise. I have always felt that regrets are useless and useless to others, but at this moment, I am indeed regretting. If I knew that I would be so reluctant to part with her, and she would be so decisive, would I still live so casually?Guess I won't, the price is too high to pay.I don't know how long it will take to be indifferent, and I don't want to be indifferent.

"I won't forget you before you forget me. I guess my memory should last longer than you." She once said to me. She has always been stingy about expressing her feelings, but she doesn't care about it when she confesses.Even if she thinks I will forget her first, she doesn't mind expressing her feelings. But how can I forget her. (two) "Do you have to choose such a day to say the end?" The person who asked this question was my girlfriend who was introduced to me. We have known each other not long ago, and this day is Valentine's Day. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry to say this on such a day. But if you continue to communicate, it will be even more unfair to you."

She is a generous and decent girl. Although she looked disappointed, she turned around and left without saying anything. In the morning, the secretary reminded me whether I should order flowers for my girlfriend, and then I remembered that it was Valentine's Day, and I suddenly remembered Yi Min and I's first Valentine's Day. "You won, I guess in the days to come, I will remember this Valentine's Day you gave me." By that lake, her eyes were as bright as cold stars, and the corners of her mouth were slightly raised, speaking to me frankly. But is it really me who wins?On a day like this, is there anyone by her side?Will she remember that Valentine's Day we spent together?

The day after we broke up with her, I was still thinking about how to go to her to ask for forgiveness.But the company called me immediately, and a bunch of things were waiting for me to go back to deal with.I could only rush back to Shenzhen restlessly. Business is like an irresistible game. Sometimes this game seems boring, but there is no way to stop it decisively.Later, he accompanied his mother to the United States for post-operative examination. The mother's mood was not stable, and the later treatment was very torturous.She endured all her life and devoted herself silently to the family. Wasn't it one of the reasons for her illness to become so ill for a long time?My father and I continued the cold war, but she insisted that I promise not to blame my father for her illness.She forced a smile and said: "When I married him, I knew that he had a strong personality, had a marriage, and a complicated family. I was willing to choose everything. I never expected to change him. After so many years, I can't say sacrifice. It's just a voluntary choice."

I had nothing to say, but I couldn't help thinking of Yi Min.She also has a forbearing character, but she has always been honest, cherishes herself, and will not change herself for others. I love her persistence in her own life. I dialed the phone number of her dormitory several times, but hung up again. If I couldn't get her understanding face to face, how could I explain it clearly on the phone.And I know that the explanation I asked for forgiveness didn't even feel convincing to me. She has always been strong in logic and strong in character. I can't imagine that a phone call can change her mind.

My mobile phone has never been turned off. Occasionally when I receive a call from an unfamiliar number, my heart beats faster, but the person who returns the call is not her. I finally called her dormitory, but no one answered. Looking at the time, I think she should have graduated, so she really disappeared in the crowd.I said to myself, well, this is what you deserve. I don't know how many people I have to meet and pass by in my life. Maybe she and I only have such a fate. I started to work hard, and my family was very satisfied with the change in me.I still can't get close to my father, but I don't turn my face and leave like before.

Someone introduced a girl to me, and I wanted to see if I could start a new love life, so I went on dates, ate, shopped, shopped, and went to bars, but everything was so stylized and boring. Memories about her surged up, and I couldn't get up the energy to perfuse anyone, and I knew I didn't have to try this again.I could only resign myself to discovering that her influence on me was far greater than the imprint I might have left on her. I think she should go to Vancouver to study abroad and reunite with her grandparents as planned.Cousin Lin Yueqing went to visit his sister-in-law and Yueqing Leping brothers and sisters, and I went with him.The little brothers and sisters have grown up, and looking at them, I miss the girl who used to teach them lessons with a crisp voice.In a blink of an eye, they are about to go to college.I went to several famous universities, just in case, and checked their list of overseas students, but I still found nothing.

Canada is so big, she may not necessarily be in Vancouver.She has always had a clear goal, and I was just an accident in her life. Although she promised to remember me, she probably just remembered. But how can I forget her?Though thinking of her tormented me, it also enriched me.I have never tried to be so stubborn about people and things, but she has occupied my heart for such a long time, I am willing.I am even afraid that I will forget her, and sometimes it is like performing a ritual, recalling the time we spent together a little bit. (three) "Why did you run back so silently?" My cousin Lin Yueqing asked me while ordering. "Nothing, just come back and stay for two days." "You like this place more than I do. If it's not for business, I'd rather stay in Shenzhen." I smiled and didn't say anything.The cousin sighed: "Azhe, no matter what happened in this city in the past, you should let it go." "If you can let go of everything, life will be boring." I didn't want to say more, I just poured a glass of beer for the two of them. "My aunt asked me to persuade you. In the past, she was only worried that you were too playful and couldn't settle down to do things well. Now, you have overcorrected and stopped playing at all. Don't you want to have a girlfriend from now on, and never get married again?" "It's not that I haven't tried it, at least I don't plan to do so right now, let's talk about it later." "It's not that you don't know about my aunt. You always get involved with me while you're talking, and blame me for getting divorced. If you haven't been married for a few years, it won't give you a good head at all." "Yeah, why don't you get married anymore? Don't tell me you're still thinking about Sister Yongzhi. Last time we went to Canada, we saw someone chasing Sister Yongzhi. Your face is so wonderful." "I hope Yongzhi is happy. After all, she is the mother of my child. It is not easy to be alone in a foreign country. I can't say that I am worried about it. We have already gone our separate ways. But at my age, it is difficult to find passion and the impulse to get married. .Maybe I will still get married, and I am going to find a woman who is pleasing to the eye and good at life, and live with me. Hey, do you know the girl over there? I keep looking at you." I followed his gaze and shook my head: "I don't know her, don't pay attention to her." After leaving the restaurant, I declined my cousin: "No, just go back to my place." "Is it convenient for you? It must have been a long time since no one lived there, right?" "I had the property cleaned regularly." My cousin stopped talking and drove me home. I went upstairs and took out the key to open the door, turned on the light, and looked at the room in front of me.The house is very tidy. According to my request, the property owner sent part-time workers to clean it three times a week. All the furniture and furnishings remained the same, and even the half-used Clinique skin care products in the bathroom were still placed on the shelf according to her habit.I told the property management that if a girl came to answer the door, she must remember to call me immediately.But as I expected, I didn't wait for such a call. She took nothing.Her beige velvet room slippers are placed in the hallway; her yellow-green floral pajamas are draped over the bed. The clothes are all in this simple style; there is a light pink bra in the drawer. I clearly remember that I bought it for her. When she saw it, she screamed and flushed. It seemed to be a rare moment for her to move , let me be moved by it.Her flushed face was so clear to me that for a moment I thought she was still in the room. But calm down, I only saw a mug with a cartoon rabbit pattern on the coffee table, which was the cup she used to drink water with, and a book next to it.I walked over to where she usually sat reading, picked up the book again, and stared at the title: Out of Africa.The back of this book is stamped with the stamp of a bookstore next to the Normal University, and there is a bookmark with a plum blossom printed on it. My fingers ran over the cover in the same way she might have touched the book one weekend. I have never seen Yi Min reading a novel before, every time I see her, she is always holding a textbook or an English tutoring book.Maybe staying alone in this lonely room made her feel that she needed a little literary comfort after all; or maybe this book with no plot but beautiful and delicate writing touched her secretly. I went to that bookstore, bought the same book, asked the clerk to stamp it with the same stamp, put it in my residence in Shenzhen, and read it more than once. I turned again to the page she had bookmarked. The title of this chapter is "Two Wings". Relatively speaking, in this more prose novel, the hero and heroine appear together the most times. I read this chapter repeatedly, those days roaming the grassland chasing prey, those flying planes flying in the blue sky and enjoying the time of freedom, maybe the girl who was too quiet and kept everything in her heart had a desire to break away from everything. Bound heart, that's all I can think of. Since I was in high school, I have lived here alone except for living in school, but now, I really feel that it seems that the girl left more imprints in this house. When she came here for the first time, she was trembling in my arms, jerky but bravely bearing my passion; she was curled up on the sofa reading a book, so quiet that she almost didn’t have any sense of existence; the only time she lost her composure and cried was also here, Even then, she didn't say a word about the things that really upset her; she was so sensitive that I was surprised, guessed that I was about to leave, but didn't complain at all; she pressed her head against me and hugged me uncontrollably , just because I suddenly remembered her birthday... Such memories spread and flow in this room, and I sat silently, letting myself immerse myself in it. If this city no longer has her, then at least in this room, she is still everywhere. (Four) "Does she love you very much, and you just can't let her go?" It was my eldest brother Su Jie who asked this question. We were not close since we were young, but our relationship has improved day by day in the past two years. According to him, I have matured and can share the burden of the family business well. "I don't need someone who loves me, I just need someone I love." We both laughed, it's kind of funny to have a conversation like this between brothers.Especially the elder brother, he never believed in love.His marriage was a marriage made under the common wishes of the two adults, and he was not dissatisfied.The reason why he asked me this question was because my father had just lost his temper with me and ordered me to wait for the Hong Kong listing job to have a clue before going to the mainland.My answer is that I can run between the two places without delaying my business, but don't want me to delay my private affairs. The elder brother shook his head with a smile, obviously he didn't take my words seriously, he just told me to do it for myself, don't make the old man angry if I have nothing to do, and then left. Alone in the office, I suppressed my smile and looked at the dark cloud-rolling sky and the tall buildings below, hoping that the coming typhoon would not affect the flight in the afternoon. Traveling through the air like this is naturally very tiring, but if I stay in Hong Kong all the time, I'm afraid I will really go crazy. Saw her again at last, on an occasion for which I was absolutely unprepared, and she seemed unflappable.It turned out that she had been working in that city, and even met my eldest brother Su Jie, and I had also met her boss. But she neither met me on purpose, nor avoided me on purpose. She was polite and thoughtful, handed me a business card, called me Mr. Su, and said, "It was just a coincidence that we met."Hearing her low voice on the phone and meeting someone at the bar, my heart sank.So she already had other men in her life. After I sent her to Sanlitun South Street, I drove back to the hotel where I was staying, but I couldn't calm down. After much deliberation, I took the car keys and went to the Hilton Hotel where she and Mr. Xu stayed.After finding out her room number, I called her, but she still hasn't called back.I sat in the cafe on the first floor, drank coffee and waited for her.She has always been quiet, but she also makes appointments with people in bars, and she hasn't seen her back for so long.Maybe time can really change a person. I finally saw her through the long glass window. She got out of the taxi. In the cold winter night, she brushed her hair back and swayed slightly before standing still. Just as she was about to walk in, a tall man chased after her. Handed her her bag.They both smiled and waved goodbye, and the man got into a taxi and left, and she strode in and across the lobby to the elevator.I sat where I was, and suddenly lost the courage to go up and stop her. She already has her life, should I bother her again?Maybe my missing is just a kind of trouble for her. It's the first time for me to be so jealous and worry about gain and loss. But I can't let go of it after all. If we don't see each other, it might be possible to go our separate ways.Now that I have seen it, how can I let go. I started pestering her recklessly.I acted tough, but I had no confidence in my heart.What I rely on is that she still has some warm memories of me. Such a near-rogue approach can no longer be regarded as pursuing a girl. I am just really afraid of missing her again. Seeing the man who had escorted her back to the hotel in Beijing gently stroking her hair, and hearing that he had proposed to her and she was seriously considering it, my heart sank.However, I can no longer bother her with my despair. She has the right to make the choice she wants. I told her that I will not give up, but I must accept her final choice. Fortunately, I did not give up. I was able to stay by her side when she was in the most painful time of losing a loved one. But she still refused my company and went to Canada to attend the funeral alone.After all, I can't share everything for her as I hope, she is always the girl who would rather face life alone. (Fives) "Su Zhe, I think you've always been careful with me, and I've always acted cautiously. The two of us don't seem to be in a normal state of love. Is it really necessary to continue, even when it comes to getting married?" I proposed.Surprised and hesitant, Yi Min asked me this way. "Don't ask me this question again, Yimin. I love you. I have never loved other women like you. To me, you are already an indelible existence. I only know that I have long since lost Gotta choose." The first time I said those three words to her, I don't care whether she will say them to me.I don't know if she still loves me the way she did at first, but I know I love her.Now for me, love is no more than a little joy, since the love for her is so heavy that I can't get rid of it.I want to keep her, use marriage, and use the peaceful and stable life she yearns for. I woke up first in the morning and she was still fast asleep.In the morning light, she looks so peaceful, her long eyelashes cast a row of shadows.I looked at her face close at hand for a long time, and listened to her delicate and steady breathing. I didn't feel sleepy at all, and I didn't want to wake her up, so I kissed her fingertips on the pillow lightly, and left the bedroom. Go to the bay window in the living room and sit down, open the window a little, and the hot air blows in.After I came back, I lived here, sitting alone smoking a cigarette many times, while thinking about her.At this moment, she was sleeping soundly in my bed, which filled my heart with peace and joy. She didn't immediately agree to my marriage proposal, but said, "Why don't we live together for a while before we talk about it." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry: "Well, after being rejected by you so many times, this time seems to be the most tactful." I don't give her a chance to repent, and immediately go back with her to pack her things. Her classmate Luo Yin was at home, and she explained to Luo Yin with a little embarrassment: "I don't live here these days, but I will pay the rent." Luo Yin looked at us with blinking eyes, and nodded with a smile. She only packed a simple box and lived in my house. As long as she is not on a business trip, I will send her to work in the morning, then go to my office, and I will insist on picking her up at night. If she has a meeting, I will wait for her in the reception room. Back home, she protested a little bit overwhelmed: "I don't like being the focus of others' attention like this." "They get used to seeing it, and they won't pay attention to it in the future." She was silent for a while, I thought she was unhappy, but she said, "Su Zhe, I want to go to Beijing this weekend." "Business trip? I'll accompany you." She shook her head and looked at me with clear eyes: "It's not a business trip. A classmate is going abroad to study for a Ph. I’m going on the weekend, I’ve already booked the plane ticket.” I was stunned for a moment, of course I knew who that classmate was, and nodded: "Okay, I'll take you to the airport." She is so magnanimous, I can only repay her with magnanimity. I don't know how the association came to be, how quiet and empty the house was without her.In fact, she is quiet at home. Usually, I am in the study and she is in the living room, each with a laptop to handle their own affairs.Or sit on the sofa and watch the DVD, I hug her, and she looks at the screen intently. She once asked me: "Hey, will it be boring, you can go out for fun, and you don't have to stay with me all the time." I laughed: "I quit the habit of going to nightclubs for more than two years. Why did you ask me to go out? Is it wandering on the street?" I am used to and love to see her move lightly in this house, which makes me feel at home.She'll be back tomorrow, I said to myself. I went to bed very late and slept until midnight when I suddenly woke up with the sound of a key opening the door.I got up and walked out of the bedroom, she was changing shoes in the hallway, I went to hug her: "Didn't you say you'll be back tomorrow?" "After eating, I saw that the time was still early, so I bought a flight ticket for the evening flight. I didn't expect to be so late." She looked tired, obviously it was very tiring to go back and forth that day.I said distressedly: "Why is there such a hurry, stay for a day and come back." "Thinking of you waiting for me at home, I suddenly don't want to live in a hotel alone." Her voice was hoarse and soft, and then she yawned, "Sorry for waking you up." I picked her up, walked straight into the bedroom, and kissed her: "I'm very happy to be woken up like this, honey." "Hey, put me down, I'm going to take a shower, I'm so sleepy." "Don't let it go." I kissed her ear, and said softly, her hearing was still a little bit weakened, and she looked at me suspiciously, I raised my voice a little, "I won't let it go for the rest of my life." Then I kissed her lip. (six) "Little uncle, do you know that you caused me to lose the bet with Pingping?" Yueqing's face is on the computer screen. This kid has already gone to college and is as tall as me, but he still looks like a narrow-minded teenager when he smiles.I asked, "What are you betting on?" "Bet you will find Mr. Shao." I was startled, not knowing whether to laugh or cry: "You two children are really getting more and more naughty, and you actually bet me." "It's not for fun. You have been to Vancouver so many times, even if you don't say anything, I, Pingping, know that you are looking for Teacher Shao. I always feel that with Teacher Shao's personality, he will disappear completely, but Pingping firmly believes that, You will find her." I sigh, who can tell where fate will go.It is entirely possible for two people to separate, just like merchants never seeing each other again.Maybe I'm lucky enough. "Actually, I lost very happily. I like Teacher Shao. I'm so glad to see you together." I can't help but smile. "Will you marry Teacher Shao? I remember you said that you want to stay single." "Hey, you don't have to remember everything I said, do you?" Yueqing laughed loudly: "You're done, little uncle, you must have proposed, right?" Before I could speak, he jumped up, "I'll call Pingping!" After a while, my cell phone rang.This time it was Le Ping who called me. She called me repeatedly as she did when she was a child, and hurriedly asked: "Little uncle, little uncle, did Teacher Shao agree to your marriage proposal?" "No." "Well, you want to make the ceremony a little more romantic, go to places that have special meaning to you, create a special atmosphere, and..." I was even more dumbfounded, and interrupted her pointing: "Okay, okay, don't use your girlish imagination, I have a sense of proportion." She couldn't finish it: "You have to work hard, little uncle, I just made a bet with Yueqing..." "Hey, you two kids, you actually bet on me again." She chuckled: "I bet Teacher Shao will agree to your marriage proposal within a month, and Yue Qing said it must be more than a month. You must not let me lose, I want to maintain my undefeated record against Yue Qing." Putting down the phone, I could only smile and shake my head.They all thought that Yi Min would definitely accept my marriage proposal, and only I knew that it would be very difficult to convince her. However, I will convince her. (seven) "Do you like boys or girls?" I asked Yi Min, and she replied subconsciously: "I like them all." The answer made me happy: "Me too." She is watching her little cousin Shao Yiming running and playing football on the grass with his fat short legs. This four-year-old boy has a name that sounds similar to hers, which I like. Her aunt was holding her newborn little cousin, chatting with her uncle and her grandma.The little baby has a petal-like delicate face, and the grandma said with certainty: "It's exactly the same as Xiao Min's childhood." Haha, I like it. Such a warm weather, warm sunshine, and a breeze blowing on the face, with the smell of the ocean and the fragrance of flowers.And she was leaning against me, her expression was so relaxed and gentle, I liked it. Everything is so harmonious and beautiful. She was very uncertain about marriage. I forgot how many times it was my marriage proposal, but she still hesitated, the reason was that she was withdrawn and might not be a good wife candidate. "I don't know how to comfort people, and I'm not considered considerate. Sometimes I think that a personality like mine may be more suitable for living alone." I had no choice but to find a "high-sounding" reason: "It's too late to say this now, I have completely adapted to life with you, if you don't marry me, no one will want me, you let a man who is already thirty-two years old Where do I go to find Second Spring?" She smiled: "Why be modest, Mr. Su, I saw that the women who chatted with you have already moved from here to Shenzhen." "Two years ago, maybe. But now that I'm such a virtuous family, I'm going to buy a recipe and come back to wash your hands and make soup for you. If others want to strike up a conversation, I think I'm boring. If you don't take responsibility for me, what will I do?" She had to admit defeat. However, she has other worries. "I don't know if I'm going to be a good mother in the future." "Silly boy, why do you think so?" "My mother and I are not close. When I was in middle school, she once visited me at school and brought me a new schoolbag. I picked it up, but refused to look up at her. Later, she told me , She was very sad that day, and she went back crying all the way. I also felt uncomfortable, but I don't know how to get along with her to be natural. " I held her hand: "Yi Min, before I met you, I thought I would never get married." She looked up at me. "I didn't get along well with my father when I was a child, and I haven't been able to reach a real reconciliation until now; I hate family, I am used to living as I want, and I never think I can adapt to marriage. Only after being with you, I began to think, we It is worthwhile to voluntarily accept certain constraints and prepare to live a different life." I gazed into her eyes and said, "All you need to give up is hesitation. To me, you are the best." We finally got married and Vancouver was the first stop on our honeymoon.Next, we are going to Kenya to see the starry sky, snow-capped mountains and wild animals running in the wilderness. Holding her hand that wears the same ring as mine, watching her tenderly gaze at the child running in front of me, I'm glad I didn't miss her.