Chapter 38 Chapter Eighty-Four

Time flies, the weather is getting colder day by day, Shen Zhenzhu's abdomen is gradually protruding, and the end of the year is approaching.During this period of time, Emperor Suzong's condition was still stable. Every time Li Yu and his wife visited Empress Zhang, Empress Zhang was very affectionate and joyful, asking about her health and well-being, showing a harmonious atmosphere.The government was even more peaceful and peaceful. Empress Zhang placed cronies in the court non-stop. Li Yu ignored the government and only thought that Su Zong's personal service to Tangshui was the most important task. At the same time, Shi Chaoyi's rebels lost Yongning, Mianchi, Fuchang, and Changshui. The counties are retreating steadily, seeing that the suppression of the rebellion is really just around the corner.Shen Zhenzhu knew that this was the prelude to the storm, sometimes she observed Li Yu's expression carefully, she was not in a hurry, as if she had a plan in her chest, she felt a little relieved.

She is also not impatient.She gets along with Li Shi every day, personally teaching him calligraphy, playing with him, and watching him fall asleep. At the beginning, Li Shi was alienated from her. He was very attached to Su Ci.However, Shen Zhenzhu is not in a hurry, she is patient and meticulous, caring for Li Shi bit by bit, as time goes by, Li Shi becomes more and more attached to her...but she still hasn't called her "mother". Murong Linzhi entered the palace once in a while, and handed the decocted potion to Shen Zhenzhu to take, but it was strange that several months had passed, and Xue Hongxian hadn't shown himself in Chang'an.

Zhang Hanruo would come to greet Shen Zhenzhu every day. In just a few months, her complexion has faded a lot, but her arrogance has not diminished. Whenever Shen Zhenzhu wanted to talk to her, she always said goodbye in a hurry, and lost the intimacy of the past.Shen Zhenzhu could only sigh secretly. December 19th is Shen Zhenzhu's birthday again.Suzong has been ill for a long time, playing silk and bamboo music is forbidden in the palace, Li Yu has a taboo in his heart, fearing that at this time, a large number of birthday celebrations will be unfavorable to Shen Zhenzhu, and Shen Zhenzhu tried to stop them, so he skipped all the red tape and only prepared a small table For the birthday banquet, after he returns from the Daming Palace in the evening, he will have a party with Shen Zhenzhu.

At Sishi, Su Ci brought Li Shi to Yichun Palace as usual, she remembered today's day, so she asked Li Shi to kowtow to Shen Zhenzhu, but Li Shi twisted back and forth, but refused to obey.Shen Zhenzhu stopped with a smile: "Where are there so many rules." Seeing that Su Ci looked very tired, her eyes were darkened, and she obviously lacked sleep, she and Su Ci were used to it casually, and persuaded: "You should go back to the hospital to rest Well, you were seriously injured to save me before, and now you are working so hard for a long time, it's not for fun." Listening to her words, Su Ci's eyelashes fluttered slightly, she nodded silently, and said: "Your servant has something to do, it's just that the little prince is here—?" Shen Zhenzhu knew that she was worried about Li Shi, and said with a smile "It's okay, isn't there a nanny to help me!" Su Cifang bowed and retreated.Shen Zhenzhu looked at the back of Su Ci, feeling very sad in her heart, Su Ci has changed a lot, and she is full of worries every day, it is rare for her to really smile, sometimes she tries hard to make Su Ci happy, but Su Ci mostly smiles with force.In this East Palace, it seemed that everyone was depressed, and there was very little real joy.

Li Shi's temperament is extremely naughty, a five-year-old child, extremely energetic, sometimes playing and squabbling with court ladies, sometimes sneaking under tables, chairs, and beds, sometimes arguing for Shen Zhenzhu to accompany him in hide-and-seek, Shen Zhenzhu takes a daily dose of The potion is more than six months pregnant, and the spirit is still good, and there is no sign of serious illness... Seeing that Li Shi is having such a good time today, I can't help but play hide-and-seek with him.After playing for a while, I felt that the breath adjustment was unstable and I was exhausted, so I hurriedly sat down to rest.

Li Shi was also tired from playing, so he ran to Shen Zhenzhu's side, seeing red and green melons and fruits on the table, and even the green papaya that was brought as a tribute, it was really eye-catching and cute, he took one and gnawed it into his mouth.A court lady had stopped her with a smile and said, "Little prince, the papaya has to be skinned when I wait for your servant to help you." "I want you to dissect it!" Li Shi lost his stubborn temper again, hugged the papaya with both hands, refused to hand it to the maid, but turned around and handed it to Shen Zhenzhu.

Shen Zhenzhu smiled, and picked up the delicate knives on the table.Unexpectedly, the fruit knife was extremely sharp, and the papaya was tender and smooth. She slipped her hand, and the knife scratched the back of her left hand. The wound was not deep, but blood gushed out instantly.The maid next to her was horrified, she hurriedly pulled out a handkerchief and pressed it tightly on the wound, and shouted for others to take the medicine.In fact, it was not a serious problem, but Li Shi was so frightened when he saw the blood at first, he fell into Shen Zhenzhu's arms, "Wow, wow" and cried loudly: "Mother, mother!"

Shen Zhenzhu was startled, and then an indescribable joy flooded in her heart.In this life, the happiness she needs is only so shallow. When the sun was setting, Li Shi was tired from playing, so he fell asleep casually in a corner of the palace.Shen Zhenzhu hugged him to the couch, and carefully wiped off the thin layer of sweat on the tip of his nose, his sleeping appearance was naive, deep in sleep, he had a very slight snort, his long eyelashes looked exactly like hers, and drooped down , casting a small shadow under the eyelids.She couldn't help laughing, Li Shi's face was never tired of seeing.

Hearing steady and brisk footsteps behind him, he knew it was Li Yu who had returned.Shen Zhenzhu stood up, turned around, and greeted him with a smile.Kankan turned around, his body tightened, and he stretched out his arms to wrap her in his arms.It was just so sudden, hugging her tightly and not speaking. After a long time, she heard him say: "In this life, I have failed you too much." His voice was deep and deep, but each word was soft and long, as if poured from the heart, carrying unspeakable pain. Shen Zhenzhu was panicked for a while, she had never seen Li Yu talking to her with such an expression, she only knew that Li Yu had already known about her illness and was in a state of confusion, wondering what to do from time to time.

Li Yu had helped her sit on the couch, and said: "I just found out today that many things I did in the past were very wrong. I misunderstood you, didn't understand your mind, and insisted on imprisoning you. But don't worry, from now on At first, I will try my best to make it up." Touching Li Shi's red face on the couch, "The three of us finally got together, and we will never be separated again." Shen Zhenzhu didn't understand what it meant, but when he observed the words and expressions carefully, he seemed to be suddenly relieved, and even had the pleasure of completely releasing the pain. He probably didn't know about her illness, so he smiled and said: "It's my birthday today, why did I suddenly think of it?" Talk to me about this conversation? In the past, such as death yesterday—" His voice trembled slightly when he said the word "death", "Didn't you and I understand the meaning of Master Zhang Jiuling's verse that day?"

His lips touched her temples, and the fragrance of fireflies in her hair filled his chest. For many years, he had been immersed in deep depression, and he had never enjoyed such comfort, "In short, from now on, I will definitely take care of your thoughts, Stop being self-righteous." He said: "Fortunately, it is not too late for this. We still have decades, hundreds of years, and a long life to come." long life. She is really lucky, the world is so big, but she can look at Mo Yanchuu and hold Li Yu's fingers tightly. Even if the joy suddenly blooms and suddenly ends, even if you walk between love and sorrow, even if you have to bear the pain of parting. Even if, she will eventually return to that nether realm. Such a life, she is also unshakable. On the last day of the second year of Shangyuan, Emperor Suzong forced himself to hold his sick body and fell to the ground, foaming at the mouth and fainting while performing sacrifices in the ancestral temple.On that day, thick black clouds rolled over, and the wind and thunder secretly came to cover the sky, shaking the sky and the earth. Three days later, Emperor Suzong woke up and was unable to stay in bed. He could only lie in bed and listen to the government, so he changed the year name to the first year of Baoying. Half a month later, Li Fuguo was appointed Minister of the Ministry of War, and he took full control of the military power in Chang'an City. One month later, an assassin sneaked into the palace to assassinate Emperor Suzong and the Empress. Cheng Yuanzhen, the inner flying dragon envoy, was credited with escorting the envoy, and also took pictures of the internal shooting envoy. All the inner court guards were dispatched by him. Li Yu became more and more free, and apart from serving Emperor Suzong every day, he mostly accompanied Shen Zhenzhu's mother and son.As the pregnancy progressed, Shen Zhenzhu gradually understood the meaning of Murong Linzhi's saying "the oil is exhausted and the lamp is dry". After waking up from sleep, sweating through his shirt, seeing that Li Yu was often worried, he smiled and comforted him and said, "Pregnancy is like this. Could it be that you still can't trust Lin Zhi's medical skills." This is really an invincible magic weapon. The idea of ​​seeing a doctor for her was put aside. In March, Xue Hongxian finally came to Chang'an. When Murong Linzhi and Xue Hongxian entered the Yichun Palace, Xue Hongxian did not wear the usual red dress, but a lake blue narrow skirt with a small white flower on his hairpin.Seeing that she was dressed differently, Shen Zhenzhu didn't come to speak, Xue Hongxian pouted, threw herself into her arms and began to cry: "Sister Shen, my master passed away." It turns out that Xue Hongxian has been traveling all over the world with his master in the past few years. Although his master is over 70 years old, he is still as light as a swallow, and his appearance is the same as that of Xue Hongxian when he was young. He has always been kind and strict to Xue Hongxian.Hongxian's young girl's heart always loves to be free and unrestrained, so half a year ago when she met Murong Linzhi in Huihe, when she mentioned Shen Zhenzhu, she felt itchy and unbearable, and she wanted to break away from the cage controlled by her master and go to Chang'an to play.His teacher did not refuse at that time, but when Hongxian wanted to leave three months later, he tried his best to stop him, saying that he would "go in a few months."Hong Xian didn't dare to disobey his master, so he felt unhappy in his heart, and he only pouted and bowed his head to follow behind his master every day.Unexpectedly, just the month before last, the master suddenly woke up Hong Xian in the middle of the night. Hong Xian listened to the master's explanation in a daze, and then fell into a deep sleep. When he woke up the next morning, the master watched his nose with his eyes and his heart with his nose, and he was already falling asleep. Timed death. Although Xue Hongxian knew that people must die, she regarded her master as a fairy since she was a child, and she believed that no matter how she messed around, there would be a master to rely on, and a master's arms to cling to and act like a baby. At that time, I knew what the master meant when he said "I will go again in a few months". It turned out that the master already knew that his life span was approaching, but he just wanted to spend more time with Hong Xian. Xue Hong now spoke to the pain, snuggled up to Shen Zhenzhu and wept endlessly.Shen Zhenzhu and Murong Lin looked at each other, each sighing.Shen Zhenzhu suddenly remembered Mo Yanchu, but Murong Yaozhi recalled Li Tan inexplicably. Shen Zhenzhu asked Xue Hongxian again: "What did your master explain to you before he passed away?" Xue Hong rubbed his red eyes like a child, and said, "I just can't remember what, so I came to you in such a hurry to ask." Pausing, hesitantly recalling, "It seems to say——nothing... No, wandering... shape... name..." Murong Linzhi frowned deeply, Shen Zhenzhu stood up and paced back and forth, suddenly asked: "Is it 'There is nothing to do, wandering into the name'?" Xue Hong jumped up: "It seems to be." Then he was puzzled, "This sentence is not in the Buddhist scriptures, no wonder I don't know." Shen Zhenzhu said with a smile: "This is indeed not in the Buddhist scriptures, otherwise I haven't read a few Buddhist scriptures, and I still can't guess it! This is a poem written by Zhi Daolin from Jin Dynasty. The whole poem is 'Vimalakirti Divinity, Mausoleum transforms Zhaoji Court. There is nothing to do, wandering into shape and name. The movement of the people makes me sick, and the people are calm and calm. The movement is not a shadow, and the shadow responds to the situation. The string rhyme multiplies ten philosophers, and the stubborn and proud four heroes. Forgetting the period and encountering the humiliated head, Qi Chan praises life and death.'” Xue Hong was confused and asked, "What does this mean?" "This poem is originally admiring and praising Vimaha," Shen Zhenzhu thought for a while, "However, since your master finally told you, it must have a deeper meaning." Looking up, seeing Xue Hong with green hair on his temples, he asked : "Hong Xian, did your master mention the matter of asking you to become a monk?" "Master once said the year before last that he wanted to choose a day to shave my hair, but I was unwilling, so I haven't saluted yet." Xue Hong lowered his head as if discouraged, and his tone was still firm, "Master has passed away, I must obey Master's last wish , take refuge in the Three Jewels." Murong Linzhi also understood at this time, and laughed at the same time as Shen Zhenzhu: "No need." Xue Hongxian's eyes widened, and he looked at the two of them in surprise, "Why?" Murong Linzhi said: "Didn't your master say it - there is nothing to do. It means that you can become a monk, or you can become a monk." Shen Zhenzhu continued: "She also said 'wandering into the shape name', which means With the Buddha, there is no need to stick to the form." "Really?" Xue Hongxian's eyes sparkled, and he couldn't hide his joy.Shen Zhenzhu is also very happy for Xue Hongxian, and even more admires Xue Hongxian's master. She is stingy in this life and advocates Buddhism in this dynasty. Although she does not understand Buddhist scriptures, she can only be deeply humble to such a strange person. Shen Zhenzhu said: "Hongxian, you like to travel around. From now on, you can travel around the world with your sister Lin Zhi. Lin Zhi's medical skills are superb, and he can save lives and heal the wounded; you have excellent martial arts, and you can punish the evil and help the weak. How pleasant it is, and it is exactly in line with your master's wishes." Xue Hongxian nodded repeatedly. But Murong Linzhi started to cry, "What are you talking about with superb medical skills, I... I am so useless, I can't save you..." Xue Hong was shocked, "Sister Lin Zhi, what are you talking about!" Shen Zhenzhu didn't want to hide it from Hongxian, and Li Yu hadn't returned to the palace today, so she happened to have something to tell the two of them, so she lightly said that she was seriously ill and died.Xue Hongxian couldn't help crying when he heard it, and said repeatedly: "You can't be real, don't fool me!" Shen Zhenzhu smiled and took Xue Hongxian's hand, and said: "You are a big girl, why do you cry at every turn? It can be seen that you will not be able to learn Buddhism from your master. Even if I go, it will be said by the Buddha's words——When I arrive In the Land of Ultimate Bliss, which is always blissful and pure, away from the hustle and bustle of the world, there is nothing to be sad about." Xue Hongxian just shook his head and cried, and said: "What are you talking about, I am always happy, I am pure, I just know that you, Sister Shen, will never exist in this world!" Shen Zhenzhu saw that it was late and Li Yu was about to come back, so she hurriedly said seriously: "Okay, you are all here today, I have something to ask you." Smiling, "Lin Zhi, thank you for allowing me to survive until now. I don't show any signs, I just worry about whether I can give birth smoothly, and how long I can live after giving birth." Murong Linzhi choked up, "Don't worry, with me here, you will be able to give birth smoothly." Shen Zhenzhu's face became joyful, and she looked at her expectantly: "After the baby is born, can I live another three months?" Murong Linzhi couldn't bear her to look at her, turned his head away, "I will definitely." "That would be great!" Shen Zhenzhu was even more joyful, "After the baby is three months old, I will immediately leave the palace with you two." Murong Lin turned his head suddenly, "You are really crazy, how could you move around at that time, you can hide it from Li Yu now, but how can you still hide it from... him!" "I just don't want to die in front of him." Shen Zhenzhu lowered her head and said slowly, "If he knows what's going on, he will definitely be guilty for the rest of his life. I am extremely sad, and I really can't bear his sadness." Murong Linzhi said: "But there is no news of you leaving, and asking him to wait every day, wouldn't it be more painful?" Shen Zhenzhu said: "If he can be honored in the Ninth Five-Year Plan, he will be the king of a country in the future, and he will be entangled in endless state affairs." He got up and opened several cases and lower drawers, and flipped through a stack of things from the bottom, Unfolded, but neatly covered and lacquered letter paper, handed to Xue Hongxian, said: "Hongxian, I have dozens of letters here, the date has been marked, after half a year, you will Send the first letter to him, saying that I still want to visit Huashan again, and you will send letters on schedule every year or so." Murong Linzhi said: "Aren't you worried that he will really go to Huashan, or other places you marked, and look for you everywhere?" Shen Zhenzhu said: "Then he must not be found. I understand him best, and he will not delay the state affairs because of me. He can't find me, but he still knows that I am still in the world, and it is good to have a little bit of thought." or, as time goes by, he thinks that I am too attached to mountains and rivers to return to the palace, and he has a grudge; or, it is better to forget me gradually. The longer the time, the better. Or, after a few years, you tell him As long as he didn't witness my death, he wouldn't be very sad." Su Yan said to Xue Hong: "Sister, you must do me this favor. When you are traveling around, you occasionally use my name or senior Leaving traces in the name of Yueming, let him, and my two children, think that I am still alive." She smiled and laughed at herself: "Actually, I am also selfish, after all, I hope he will always remember me." Pause After a while, he said slowly, "However, it's best to forget about me." All three were silent.Shen Zhenzhu said to Xue Hongxian again: "Han Ruo is here too, if you have time, go and accompany her and explain it a little bit more. Now, she may be blaming me a little bit in her heart." Sighing, "Han Ruo, Very good. In the future, I only hope that she can accompany Chu."