Chapter 15 Chapter 15 I have always been more honest than you

Gan Lu took the evening flight back, it was already late at night, there were not many passengers on the same plane, and everyone looked tired and listless. She came out and got into a taxi, and the driver asked her where she was going. She felt that she had nowhere to go again, so she had to ask the driver to drive, then took out her mobile phone and turned it on, ignoring the constant text messages, and called Qian Jiaxi phone. Qian Jiaxi yelled: "Where have you been? You want to kill me. The phone is not turned on. Your husband called me in the afternoon and asked me if I saw you."

"I have to find a place to stay tonight. Is it convenient for you? Otherwise, I can go to the hotel." "Is there a need to ask this between us? You come here immediately." Gan Lu breathed a sigh of relief: "If he asks you again, just say you haven't seen me." She reported Qian Jiaxi's address to the driver, deleted all unread text messages, and turned off the phone. Qian Jiaxi rented a high-rise single apartment not far from the TV station. It had one bedroom and one living room.After Gan Lu went in, she pushed away the clothes she had piled on the sofa and sat down, and said wearily, "Don't ask anything, Jiaxi, I'm too tired."

Even though Qian Jiaxi was full of doubts, she had no choice but to swallow it, and brought her pajamas: "Then you take a shower and go to sleep, look at your face, you are really pale." "I'll just sleep on the sofa." Gan Lu knew that her bed was small, and she also knew that she would probably toss and turn tonight, so she didn't want to disturb her sleep. "You go to the bedroom and sleep on the bed honestly. I still have work to do, so I don't know what time I will go to bed." Qian Jiaxi's living room has always been used as a dining room and a study. At this time, the computer on one side was turned on, and Gan Lu didn't show any politeness to her anymore. After a while, she forced herself to take a shower.

When she came out, Qian Jiaxi turned her head away from the computer: "Your husband seems to have sensed it. He called again just now. I didn't say anything, so he told me to let you have a good rest." She shook her head with a wry smile, of course she knew that Shang Xiuwen's judgment had always been strong: "Go ahead, I'll go to sleep first." Qian Jiaxi has always been a night owl and has become a habit of going to bed late and waking up late. When the light in the living room under the door went out, it was already midnight. The darkness and silence didn't help Gan Lu, she could only lie motionless, her body was so tired that she didn't even have the strength to turn over, she wished she could never wake up from a dream, but her brain refused to cooperate, it was still spinning at high speed and dazedly Not only that, all kinds of thoughts surged in turn, none of them took shape, but none of them were willing to disperse automatically.

It wasn't until the middle of the night that she fell into a half-sleep state, drowsy and half asleep. As soon as the phone rang at the set time, she opened her eyes and got up, put on her clothes and went to wash her hands lightly. Then take it to work. Today is the day when the registration starts. Because the High School Attached to Normal University is a boarding school, students need to bring their luggage to the dormitory. Many parents will send their children here, let alone those with cars.The street in front of the school was full of vehicles of all kinds. As usual, the traffic was seriously congested during the two reporting times every year. The impatient drivers kept honking their horns, which made this quiet street unprecedentedly early in the morning. Get lively.

Gan Lu was walking all the way after getting off the bus, and students she knew would greet her from time to time: "Morning, Teacher Gan" or "Happy New Year, Teacher Gan". She was about to walk into the school when a hand suddenly reached out and grabbed her arm tightly. Her footsteps were originally flimsy, but she staggered a bit. Before she could turn her head, she was dragged into a hug tightly hold on. It was the embrace she was very familiar with, from the strength of her arms to the breath of her body, her face was stuck to the front of a dark gray suit, and even the texture of the clothes was familiar to her.She just swallowed back a scream, but heard the whistles of naughty students from around, and there were more than one whistles, almost one after another, she couldn't help being embarrassed, and hurriedly tried to break free.

However, Shang Xiuwen only let go a little bit, and put his arm around her shoulders instead. She got out, and was facing Vice Principal Wan and the dean who were standing at the school gate to welcome the students. Both of them were the same His face showed disapproval; his eyes swept away, and there were quite a few people looking at him around. The excitement of the students was palpable, and the accompanying parents were naturally a little bit disapproving. She had never been in the limelight before in the work unit, no matter how calm she was, her face flushed and she was a little at a loss.Fortunately, the dean coughed and helped her out: "Mr. Gan, is your cold feeling better?"

Gan Lu forced a smile, and was about to speak, when Shang Xiuwen spoke first: "She is still not feeling well, she didn't eat breakfast, and she refused to ask for leave. She said that there are many things at school today. I am really worried, so I told you come and see." Shang Xiuwen's voice was sincere and steady, which was in stark contrast to his behavior just now. Vice-principal Wan looked at Gan Lu's pale and haggard face, and smiled tolerantly: "The young couple are in love after all, you'd better take Mr. Gan there Let's eat something, the school cafeteria hasn't opened yet, so we didn't sell it earlier."

Gan Lu didn't want to continue making jokes at the school gate, so she had to follow Shang Xiuwen to Yonghe Soymilk at the corner of the street. They walked against the flow of people rushing to the school, and they didn't walk fast. Shang Xiuwen looked at her: "Your complexion is really bad, you should ask for leave and go back to rest." Gan Lu shook her head, and stood still at the corner: "I questioned you at the press conference earlier, and then I beat you, which made you ugly; now you come to the school to perform such a passionate scene, and you can repay me. Yes. Have you gone back?"

Shang Xiuwen's face darkened: "Do you think I came here on purpose to make a fool of you? You didn't expect how worried I was from yesterday to today. I rushed to the airport and just took a flight to hit you I couldn't get through to the phone, so I had to rush back and look for you again. I can't stop you at school today, and I'm already going to wait in front of Qian Jiaxi's house at night." "Don't exaggerate your worry, haven't you already judged that I'm at Jiaxi's place? With your level of rationality, you probably just want to come and coax me in the morning. What's more," Gan Lu smiled wryly, "I seem to be very coaxing all the time. Usually, with a kiss and a hug, I will automatically explain everything for you, without you even needing to bother me, right?"

"No, I'm going to explain it to you in detail and ask for your forgiveness." "What can I forgive you? You didn't lie to me, the worst is that you didn't tell the whole truth. In fact, there is no need to come here on purpose. I won't be absent from work, and I won't be missing, although yesterday I really wanted to It’s good to disappear like this, I don’t need to face these things that I don’t want to face.” Gan Lu said disheartenedly, and the two fell silent for a while. After a while, Shang Xiuwen held her hand: "You can't go to work on an empty stomach, eat something first." There were still students coming here, so Gan Lu had to follow Shang Xiuwen into Yonghe.He sat her down by the window and ordered breakfast. As soon as she returned to her seat, Gan Lu stood up suddenly. She hadn't eaten anything serious since yesterday, and she didn't feel hungry at all. Shang Xiuwen sent him away.But as soon as the smell of deep-fried dough sticks from the next table wafted over, she immediately felt nauseated, covered her mouth and rushed into the small bathroom, vomited, dizzy and dizzy, managed to stop it, and rinsed her mouth with water. Among all the troubled thoughts, a question that she has been avoiding has finally come to her eyes.She thought that her vomiting might not just be caused by a sudden irregular diet. Thinking of the early pregnancy test sheet still in her purse, and thinking of the man sitting on the seat outside, she could only bite tightly. tooth. A waiter opened the door and came in: "Miss, are you okay, your husband asked me to come in and take a look." She shook her head weakly: "It's okay, thank you." Gan Lu tidied herself up carefully and walked out with strength. Shang Xiuwen was waiting outside the bathroom with a worried expression on his face: "What's the matter, Lulu, are you feeling unwell?" "nothing." He helped her back to her seat, and the waiter had already served a bowl of vegetable and meat wontons, which she usually likes to eat, but seeing it now, she had no appetite at all.She barely endured it, scooped up a little bit with a spoon, and forced herself to eat it in small bites. "Is it hard? Lulu." "Ok." "Or ask the leader for leave and go back and have a good rest." Gan Lu raised her head and smiled sadly: "Where are you going?" "Don't deny everything about us just because of yesterday," Shang Xiuwen reached out to hold her hand, "Give me a chance to explain, Lulu, don't rush to judge." "All my judgments seem to be a joke now, so there's nothing to worry about." Gan Lu said uninterestedly, withdrew her hand, tried to restrain the discomfort in her stomach, lowered her head and continued to eat wontons. After taking a bite, she finally couldn't eat any more, put down the spoon, reached for her bag, and Shang Xiuwen held her down. "Let's sit down and talk." Gan Lu looked around and shook her head: "Let's talk about it when I get home tonight, I have to go to work." She saw Shang Xiuwen hesitated, and the smile on her face faded, "Of course, I know, you just took office, It must be very busy. I can understand if you don’t have time, and it doesn’t really matter if you talk or not.” He was so blocked that he had almost nothing to say, so he could only say, "I'll pick you up after get off work." He sent Gan Lu into the school, watched her tighten her gray short coat, lowered her head and hurried into the school gate, her back merged into the students before returning to the car.He came very early and stayed in the car on the side of the road. At this time, the car was stuck in the long queue of vehicles on the side of the school road and couldn't get out for a while, but he was not in a hurry. The previous afternoon, Shang Xiuwen watched the Mercedes-Benz carrying Gan Lu start up quickly, and was about to call the driver over, when Wu Changzhi, who rushed down, stopped him: "Xiuwen, we have to go to the SASAC now." His prior arrangement was indeed to meet with Wang Feng, Wu Changzhi and the leaders of the Provincial State-owned Assets Supervision and Administration Commission and Economic Commission immediately after the press conference, discuss the merger of the smelter again, and then rush to the airport. The reporters who came out all around looked at him curiously. He knew that Gan Lu's slap just now might make people think about it, but he didn't care. He took out his mobile phone and called his wife's number, but her mobile phone was turned off.After thinking for a while, he called He Jingyi. He Jingyi bluntly admitted her relationship with this matter. He clearly understood her character, and after she promised to send Gan Lu to the airport, he didn't say much. Wang Feng also came out. Lu Fei, the general manager of Yuanwang Investment Company, had a car accident somewhere in Guiyang and is currently resting. Most of the company's affairs fell on him. On a business trip to another place, Shang Xiuwen had to get in the car with them separately and head to the State-owned Assets Supervision and Administration Commission. After finally talking about business, the driver took him to the airport. He checked and found that there were several flights between the two places every day. He called Gan Lu's cell phone, but it was still turned off.He had no choice but to enter the security check. He Jingyi suddenly rushed up from behind and called his name. He stopped and looked at her sharply: "where's my wife?" He Jingyi smiled and spread her hands: "I'm sorry, Xiuwen, she insisted on getting out of the car, I can't force her here against her will, I guess she should have gone back earlier." He nodded slightly: "Thank you for taking the trouble to arrange today's scene." "You're welcome. However, I didn't intend to target you from the very beginning. These could have been avoided, if you had told me the real role you played in Xu Sheng earlier." "Jingyi, I never intended to ask you about your experience in Yixin." He Jingyi's face suddenly turned pale: "Is this implying something?" "I don't need to make any hints. After everyone goes their separate ways, the best ending is to forget each other in the rivers and lakes." He Jingyi regained his composure slightly: "Now we are all on the verge of riding a tiger. Since you openly took over Xu Sheng, I am afraid that we will not be able to forget each other in this river and lake now." "Jingyi, I can affirm that this merger is not as smooth as you imagined, and your plot against Xu Sheng is not as easy as you imagined." "A mere smelter has always been one of my goals, but how did you think Yixin was interested in Xusheng?" "Shaokun said that he never contacted you, and you thought of him when you heard Brazil. Then at least you understand Xusheng's raw material procurement process, and you don't need to do so much homework if you just want to merge the smelter." He Jingyi smiled: "It seems that the mediocre family life in the past few years has not completely dulled you. Next, we still have a lot of opportunities to meet. By the way, my boss, Chairman Chen, will go to J City next Monday. Mayor Kong met, and I believe that the merger of the smelter will soon have a result. As for what will happen next, you may wish to wait and see." Shang Xiuwen also smiled, and that smile came coldly: "You have made a series of arrangements recently so carefully, I thought that since you sat in this position, you have indeed adapted to the laws of the market, and you can keep your face. But you are always impatient, and you can't wait to show the cards in your hand to surprise others. This behavior can be said to be a little childish and very funny before. It is still like this now, and it will not do you any good. " He Jingyi tilted her head and thought for a while: "Yes, you have always understood my personality best, and now you deliberately married a wife whose personality is completely opposite to mine. It seems that you really dislike me." "Jingyi, this is another stubborn part of you that puzzles me. You seem to always think that no matter what I do, I just want to erase your existence. In fact, we have already ended, and we have completely withdrawn from each other. life. Haven't you ever thought that I married Lulu just because I love her?" She stared closely at Shang Xiuwen for a long time, and a sneer appeared on the corner of her mouth: "Go and act like a lover to your wife, and see if you can still convince her after today. You actually used a very strange way to Love her. In my opinion, she is not a simple mind to coax." "I completely trust her ability to judge. See you in J City." The announcement had been made to board the plane, and they walked in one after the other, sat in different positions, and did not speak again. After the plane landed, Shang Xiuwen called Gan Lu again, but the phone was still turned off. He began to think about where she might go.With her overly tolerant care and maintenance of her father from body to emotion, she is unlikely to go back to her mother's house to complain and live for a while like ordinary women.But he still called Gambo first to greet his father-in-law. He only said that he was back from a business trip. He was very sorry that he couldn’t give him New Year’s greetings during the Spring Festival. Lu came over to eat together. He knew that Gan Lu's best friend was Qian Jiaxi, but Qian Jiaxi was very surprised when he called, saying that he had never seen Gan Lu, and immediately asked him, "What's wrong with her? She's not that kind of person." When you get angry, you can act like a baby and turn off the phone to play with the missing woman." Shang Xiuwen said helplessly: "There is a little misunderstanding between us, please call me as soon as you see her?" Qian Jiaxi was skeptical, and just said "Oh" noncommittally. As Qian Jiaxi said, Gan Lu is never particularly willful.Before that, she only went there because of the job transfer imposed by Wu Lijun. After the two got back together, Shang Xiuwen couldn't help laughing when he saw the clothes she bought from shopping, from outerwear to underwear, they were all very sexy and bold styles, and there was also a pair of short printed hot pants.Gan Lu was embarrassed by his smile, blushing and wanted to snatch it away, but he refused: "Show me the clothes." "No." "Why don't you wear it after you buy it, or show it to someone?" He smiled while holding a leopard-print corset. "Hmph, if you don't chase me out to coax me, I'll have to use your card to shop to vent my anger, or I'll burn myself out of anger." He dragged her into his arms and hugged her tightly: "Who says I won't coax you, but I have to admit that I quite welcome buying underwear as a way to vent, it's my welfare." She does have a strong ability to relieve herself, and she doesn't blame others for things that cannot be changed.But Shang Xiuwen clearly knew that she had a bottom line, and he seemed to have touched her bottom line, and this anger probably couldn't be eliminated by shopping. However, he still drove to several large shopping malls and shopping centers in the city.After the explosive concentrated consumption during the Spring Festival, these places are slightly deserted. He wandered around these possible places, found nothing, and had to go home. He speculated about all her possible reactions, but from her questioning at the press conference to the slap in the hotel lobby, her behavior has completely escaped his judgment and control. I waited until late at night, still did not receive a call, and became more and more anxious, and called Qian Jiaxi again, but before he could speak, Qian Jiaxi said in a sharp tone: "Xiuwen, I want to ask you first, what do you do? What made Lulu rather wander outside in the freezing cold than go home?" He was in a panic for the first time, but he immediately concluded that his wife should be with her, and after a while he said: "I'm sorry, please let her rest well, I will pick her up tomorrow." Putting down the phone, Shang Xiuwen couldn't let go of his hanging heart. Early the next morning, he drove to the school gate and waited. After sitting for more than an hour, he saw Gan Lu appearing in sight. He got out of the car almost without thinking, walked through the crowd and hugged her. However, Gan Lu obviously didn't soften in any way because of this warm embrace under the eyes of everyone. In the afternoon, Shang Xiuwen came to the school gate early again. When Gan Lu came out, he was answering a call from City J.Gan Lu looked around, saw his car, said goodbye to her colleagues with a smile, and then walked over to get in the car with a very calm expression.He hurriedly ended the phone call: "Lulu, let's go out to eat and find a place to have a good talk." "No, I don't have much appetite, just go back and eat." He didn't want to disobey her, so he drove back while calling the hourly worker. When they entered, Wu Lijun went home first. She talked with Wu Changzhi on the phone the day before, and she already knew about the situation. She didn't take it seriously, but Shang Xiuwen came back late at night, obviously disturbed, and refused to discuss it with her.As usual, Gan Lu called "Mom" when she entered the door. She secretly breathed a sigh of relief and said nonchalantly, "Let's eat." The three of them sat together to eat, except for Gan Lu's poor appetite, it was the same as usual.The dining table was quiet as usual. After eating, Gan Lu packed the tableware into the kitchen and went upstairs. Shang Xiuwen received another call from Wu Changzhi, and when the call was over, when he came up, he saw Gan Lu half kneeling on the floor in front of the closet, packing things into the box and putting all the clothes into it. He stopped suddenly: "What are you doing?" "I plan to move out to live for a while." She looked up at him and replied calmly. Shang Xiuwen strode over, almost roughly pulling Gan Lu up. "We have to sit down and have a good talk." Gan Lu was dragged almost out of balance by him, she frowned and whispered, "You hurt me." Shang Xiuwen let go of her quickly: "I'm sorry." "If you insist on talking, we can talk. But since we realized that we have been married for so long, Xiuwen, you didn't say it when you could make it clear. If you drag it on until now, I'm afraid you can't win my trust. Made me change my mind." Shang Xiuwen took her hand, took her to sit on the soft couch at the head of the bed, and looked at her seriously: "Lulu, I know that I broke my promise not to work in Xusheng. But Xusheng faced The situation is very serious, and Wu Wei's scandal is far more serious than the reported situation. If he is only an executive of the company and a shareholder holding 10% of the shares, if he is seriously investigated, he will go to jail. It's just my uncle and him Father and son are connected, no matter how angry they are, it is impossible for him to fend for himself. However, if he is let go and Xu Sheng is forced to shoulder this responsibility, it will be a catastrophe for a company that is already in turmoil." "Are you trying to make me understand the need for your uncle to make a gesture of resigning to cover up the public, and then you take over? Well, that doesn't seem to me to be aboveboard, but it's not complicated, and I get it. But really. Yes, I don't care about Xusheng, what does its future have to do with me?" Gan Lu said lightly. "Lulu, next I will explain my shares in Xusheng." Shang Xiuwen hesitated, "I didn't say it before, and I didn't mean to hide it from you. This matter involves some past events, and I didn't mention it to you. Because I have too many... hidden pains." "You still don't have to say anything, Xiuwen, I've never asked you anything, and now I'm not curious anymore, you don't have to expose old scars in exchange for my understanding." "If I don't confess to you again, I'm afraid I will never gain your trust. Can you listen to me patiently?" Gan Lu could only lower her gaze and listen quietly. "I seldom mention my father to you. In fact, compared to my mother, my father and I are closer. He is wise, sensitive, generous and knowledgeable. He is almost perfect. I have admired him since I was a child. He used to be from W City A civil servant, in order to support his mother's pursuit of politics, he resigned and went into business, and the company was doing well. When I was 24, it can be said that because of me indirectly, his company was involved in a very complicated incident at that time. Among the sensational economic cases, that case involved a lot of people in the political and business circles of the two provinces. You saw Wang Feng, the chairman of the Yuanwang Investment Company on stage yesterday, was also involved. Sentenced to two years probation." Shang Xiuwen's voice was a little hoarse, and he stopped for a while, as if lost in memory.Gan Lu suddenly had an impulse to stand up and walk away without looking back.She had been exhausted for a long time, and could no longer bear the pain of others, but she could only hold on to the skirt of her clothes tightly, forcing herself to sit quietly. "At that time, my mother served as the deputy mayor of the second largest city in the neighboring province, and her career was very smooth. She has always been very professional, clean and self-disciplined, and focused on her work, but it is impossible not to be implicated by this incident." Said At this point, his expression was very calm, but his deep eyes were dark, and the pain in his eyes was obvious, "In the middle of the investigation, my father passed away suddenly." No matter how preoccupied she was, Gan Lu was taken aback. Shang Xiuwen tried hard to control his emotions, and continued: "He was investigated for many days before he was allowed to go home. He was alone in the study that day, and when I... came back late at night, he had already collapsed on the floor, not breathing .After being taken to the hospital, the doctor said he died of a sudden heart attack." Gan Lu instinctively realized that his father's sudden death might not be as simple as death from illness.She raised her head, and saw Shang Xiuwen clenched his teeth tightly, and the line of the entire jaw was so tight that it was a little distorted.Her heart softened, and she reached out to hold his hand: "It's the past, Xiuwen, don't blame yourself." "He did have a heart attack, but he had a physical examination every year, and it wasn't serious. The first aid medicine was right by his hand, and he didn't move at all. My mother was busy reporting and explaining to the organization, and I was busy cleaning up my mess. We didn't notice it, and he suffered. There is too much pressure from the company and family, and the mood is very abnormal..." Shang Xiuwen suddenly turned his head to the side, and clenched his teeth again.Gan Lu just held his hand silently, and the two sat side by side, silently waiting for him to calm down. When Shang Xiuwen spoke again, his voice became even hoarse: "It is impossible for me not to blame myself. Over the years, I have never forgiven myself. After the death of my father, the part of the investigation involving him ended without a problem, and my mother did not have any illegal activities. Disciplinary mistakes. But she was hit hard. She asked her superiors to be transferred and took a job in the health department here, which almost cut off her career pursuits. The loss of the company left by her father was too great to estimate, and I did not I was in the mood to continue the operation, cashed out, and ended all the business. At that time, the steel company where my uncle worked was restructured. He was optimistic about the development of the domestic steel industry and decided to take over. I invested all my money in it, and then came here .” He took Gan Lu’s hand backhand, “Now can you understand why I avoided talking about this matter?” "Xiuwen, what you're talking about is such a sad past. If I don't understand it, I'm probably cold-blooded. Everyone has a little something on their minds that is not humane. You don't want to mention the sad past to your wife. Maybe I shouldn't be demanding. But let's not talk about anything else, you think your financial situation is a secret that belongs to you and your family, and this gesture is enough to hurt me." In turn, Shang Xiuwen held her hand tightly, staring at her with deep eyes: "That's not a secret, it's just something that my mother and I don't want to talk about. I had a youthful and frivolous past, and I paid a terrible price. Lulu, after my father passed away, I reflected on myself and found it impossible to live the same way as before. For me, Xusheng was just a very successful investment, and it developed rapidly under the hands of my uncle. In the restructuring of a bankrupt state-owned enterprise, the J City Economic Commission has always held a considerable portion of the shares, and the shares have been scattered. In order to avoid interference with my uncle's business, I put the shares in his name, let him hold the shares in name, and have absolute control. I admit I participated in a part of the business, but that was never my interest. I have been slowly reducing my holdings over the years, making my uncle the largest shareholder. It is impossible for me to bring up these things when I first met you. Procrastination Later, I thought, if there is no accident, I will quit Xusheng completely sooner or later, and there is no need to say anything." "Then you are going to always appear in front of me as a small businessman?" Shang Xiuwen could hear the sarcasm in her tone, and smiled wryly: "No, I took you to the Yuanwang company's dinner before Chinese New Year, remember? In the past year, I have transferred the shares step by step. Part of the bonus funds were invested in Yuanwang. The friendship between Wang Feng and my father is the same thing. I agree with his business ideas and concepts, and investment and capital operations are my majors, and I am confident to do well. The closing of Anda’s business, although there are factors to protect Xusheng, is also in my plan. I have already made a plan to transfer the remaining shares in hand to Yuanwang, and Yuanwang will participate in the decision-making of Xusheng’s board of directors. Restrain uncle's behavior and bring the business operation on the right track. After the Spring Festival, I will go to Yuanwang to work, and then slowly tell you the shares I hold in Yuanwang, so that you don't feel awkward." "I can only say that your arrangements are very careful." "If Shaokun hadn't had an accident in Brazil first, and Wu Wei had an accident here, I wouldn't have let you accept the news in such a sudden situation. Forgive me, Lulu, don't worry about it anymore, okay? " After a moment of silence in the room, Gan Lu raised her head and looked at him with a pale face: "Shang Xiuwen, this way you let me not worry about it. What do you think of me? A complete fool?" "Don't say that..." "Then what should I say? Yes, even if I am not a fool, I am still a pawn that you can fiddle with. You decide when and what posture to appear in front of me; when you think it is appropriate, then Reward me with a little more truth. You have arranged so carefully, if I don't applaud you, I am sorry for your hard work. If there is no such accident, I am completely under your control, just like what He Jingyi said, living in In the fool’s paradise you gave me, I still feel that my happiness comes without any regrets, how ironic.” "We don't need to pay attention to what she said, she is just a passerby who has nothing to do with our lives." "For you, has she really become a passer-by? Xiuwen, it seems that you have become a habit of not being honest, and you can't even be honest with yourself. We are a husband and wife, and I will help you face it Alright. Your youthful and frivolous past in bright clothes and angry horses largely included He Jingyi, right?" Seeing Shang Xiuwen tightly pursing her lips, she continued mercilessly, "Driving a BMW off-road vehicle , often go shopping in foreign countries and Hong Kong, let my girlfriend swipe her credit card to buy famous brands without blinking..." Shang Xiuwen's face sank: "Did she tell you these things?" "Yes, I am stupid, but I am not living in a vacuum, not completely ignorant, and I heard this very early, not yesterday. Poor me, I said to myself, your husband Probably experienced a business failure, since you don’t care about material comforts, you’d better understand the general situation, take care of his self-esteem, and don’t bring up these old things in front of him.” Gan Lu laughed, full of self-deprecating, “Xiuwen, you have to admit, Am I being virtuous?" "I'm sorry, Lulu. She has no right to provoke you like this." "Let's not rush to criticize her, and you don't have to rush to apologize on her behalf. Maybe she thinks she has some kind of power that neither of you and I know about." Gan Lu sneered, "The time when you broke up coincided with The time of your father's death has overlapped. Looking at it this way, it is really the same as what you said, involving two families, and it was a helpless breakup. No wonder you have been blaming yourself for being depressed, and she still remembers it so far. Stop entangled with you, never end with me." "It's not what you think, Lulu, don't speculate like that." "What's that like? You've turned my life into a mystery novel, playing out complicated plots in front of me to your heart's content. I was dragged into it for no reason, but I had to cheer up and participate. Otherwise, you would act It’s so exciting, it’s a disappointment that there’s no one to support it.” "Don't speculate about the past, Lulu." Shang Xiuwen's voice contained a serious chill, "I'm as frank as I can, and what I'm telling you is all about the past that I haven't mentioned to anyone." "Should I be grateful? Maybe, after all, I don't know those things. I have lived with you for such a long time. I have to admit that most of the time I think I have a good life. Sometimes ignorance is really a kind of happiness. what." "Lulu, I'm serious with you, from proposing to you to preparing to have a child..." Shang Xiuwen suddenly mentioned the child at this time, Gan Lu stood up like an electric shock, took a step back, and looked at him from a little distance, the frightened expression on her face surprised him: "What's wrong, Lulu?" Gan Lu pushed away his outstretched hand: "I'm sorry, you think you have confessed like never before, but to me, this kind of confession like squeezing toothpaste is meaningless." "Why should we dwell on things that are long gone." "I don't mind what kind of past you have with anyone, Xiuwen, I have always thought that you are a person who can control your emotions and life. But now it seems that you should be as clear as I am, if it all ended early, and There is no influence left, you will not avoid talking about your property to me from the time we met until we got married; He Jingyi will not be entangled after meeting again, from public to private. The two of you have a long past , even if I can persuade myself to ignore this point, but in my opinion, your current behavior is clearly still indulging in it in different ways, and you can say that you never get tired of it." "This accusation is not fair to me, Lulu. I know that you won't listen to any excuses I make now. But please believe me on one point. For me, the past is the past, and I love you. I married you for this reason, and that's what matters." "Really? But I'm sorry, I can't connect you with the man I married. You have frustrated me, from doubting my IQ, my eyes, to doubting my choice and my marriage." Gan Lu smiled bleakly, "I don't like the situation you imposed on me. I need to calm down and think about what I should do." "There's no need to move out, Lulu." Shang Xiuwen stood up, walked in front of her, and hugged her, "Stay at home, and I won't disturb you until you think it through." His arm was firmly around her waist, and she realized again that she had long been familiar with and used to his embrace, just like the sudden hug in front of the school in the morning, her body had already made a move before her heart. With a reaction, she automatically fit into his arms, and put part of the weight of her tired body into his hands, while he firmly supported her. She tilted her head back slightly and looked at the clear face in front of her. His eyes were deep and his pupils were black. She could clearly see her own reflection in his eyes.They have looked at each other like this countless times, and his eyes are as firm as ever, without flickering. She used to think that a man with such eyes could make her give and trust with confidence.She could only smile bitterly now, and stretched out her hand to touch his face: "I've always been more honest than you, Xiuwen, there are two things I have to tell you: First, I just went for a checkup yesterday morning, and I'm pregnant. " Shang Xiuwen first looked at her in disbelief, and an expression of ecstasy immediately appeared on his face. 然而，她平静地接着说：“第二，我不确定我应不应该留下这个孩子。” “璐璐—”尚修文大为震惊，手指一下扣紧了她的腰，用力如此猛烈，她在他的目光和掌中瑟缩了一下。 “这是我们两个人的孩子，我不会独自做决定。可是我必须离开这里，好好想清楚一些事情。” 她伸手到自己腰际，掰开他的手，退出他的怀抱，然而他的手紧紧握住她的手掌：“璐璐，请不要拿孩子跟我赌气。” 他的声音带着焦灼与恳求，她垂下眼睛，看着他修长的手指，眼泪终于蓄满了眼眶，一点点溢了出来：“我的确动了这个念头，修文，我很想赌气，可是……” 昨天，她在W市那个公园一直坐到太阳落山，那帮京剧票友收拾了东西，三三两两闲聊着从她身边走过，突然几个人在她身边停下，一个老先生说：“姑娘，你也喜欢京剧吧，坐这儿听了这么久。” 她收回思绪，勉强一笑，“嗯”了一声：“听着很有意思。” 另一位老太太笑道：“别坐太久了，姑娘，湖边潮气重，小心着凉感冒了。只要天气好，我们每周二、四、六都会来这儿，你要是喜欢，也可以参加进来跟着学，难得年轻人喜欢咱们的国粹。” 那群票友走出了公园，她再坐一会儿，也站了起来，走了出去。可是薄薄的暮色之下，放眼这个陌生的城市，她仍然不知道该到什么地方去。 前面不远是一个公交车站，她下意识地走过去，看着那些公交站牌，一个个陌生的地名，一条条不知通向哪里的线路，完全不能给她任何方向感。 车站后竖着的广告灯箱突然亮起，这里和她居住的城市一样，到处是民营医院的广告，戴着眼镜的医生与相貌甜美的护士同时微笑着告诉人们，只要去他们那里，从各式疑难杂症、不孕不育到难言之隐，全都可以迅速而专业地解决。 她的目光落在早孕、早早孕梦幻可视人流手术这样一排字眼上，不禁哆嗦了一下，不知道是傍晚的寒气侵入体内，还是被这古怪离奇的手术名称刺痛了。 她的手本能地摸向自己的腹部，那里平坦如昔，早上她拿到化验结果时，也曾这么摸过，带着喜悦与羞涩。然而不过半天时间，她的心情便重重跌入了谷底。 这是与她生活的男人殷切期盼的孩子，她也以为自己做好了给他的孩子当母亲的准备。可是突然之间，她竟然认不清那个男人的真正面目了。 她的目光停留在广告灯箱上，穿着白袍的医生笑得露出标准的八颗牙，十分和善喜乐，仿佛成天面对的不是疾病、恐惧、悲伤和忧愁，下面是一行小字：妇产科专家应诊至每晚九点，为您排忧解难。 一个冷冰冰的念头蓦地掠过她心头，她被自己吓到了，手指一下捏紧了短大衣的衣襟下摆。她慌忙转身，招手拦停一辆出租车：“去机场，谢谢。” “可是一个人讲道理的生活成了习惯，就没有了跟任何人赌气任性的底气，只动一下念头，已经觉得是罪恶了。我只想，我合理地对待别人，那么人家也会合理地对待我……”甘璐再也抑制不住那个哽咽，泪水一粒粒落到尚修文的手背上。 尚修文双臂一收，再度将她拖入怀中。 “对不起……”他没法再说下去，只紧紧地抱住了她。 甘璐没有试过这样泪水泛滥成河的哭法。 事实上，她一向并不算爱哭，她的密友钱佳西更有奇怪的笑点，能够在看煽情文艺片的时候笑出声来，那份幽默感整个宿舍只有她能忍受。通常来讲，她倒并不会觉得好笑，可也没办法像其他女孩子那样一下感动得涕泪交流。 跟尚修文在一起，他从来没招惹到她哭的地步。她只在和他一块看斯皮尔伯格执导的电影《人工智能》的影碟，看到妈妈Monica将收养的机器孩子David遗弃到黑暗的森林时，她的眼泪一下止不住悄悄地流了出来。当时尚修文坐在她身边，眼睛对着屏幕，并没看她，却一手揽住她的肩，一手扯张纸巾递给她。 她小心地拭着沁出眼眶的泪，一边自嘲道：“我最看不得人渲染母爱。” “人人都有软肋。适当哭哭发泄一下，会有助心理健康的。” “那你的软肋是什么？” 尚修文似乎被问住了，停了一会儿，他轻轻一笑：“我的软肋，也许是你吧。” 这个回答明显来得太现成，可是说这话时，他满含让她一向沉迷的笑意，声音低低，带着温柔，听起来十分甜蜜，让她因电影而引起的伤感情绪一扫而空。 她想，懂得适时讲情话满足女友虚荣心的男人还真是不错，明明没有什么实质性的许诺，却已经足够让她开心。她更紧地缩进他怀中，继续看着电影，不再探究什么了。 仍然是这个怀抱，但是一切都不一样了。再怎么放纵伤痛，眼泪也有干涸的时刻。 甘璐断然挣脱尚修文的手，进卫生间洗了脸，然后走出来：“请别拦着我。我还是那句话，孩子是我们两个人的，我不会不跟你说就独自做什么决定。可是我真的需要空间好好想清楚。” “你要去哪儿住？回佳西那边吗？” “不，佳西那边地方小，我不能老打扰她。今晚我打算找间酒店住，中午我已经在网上看好了几套出租的房子，离学校都不远。我跟房东约了时间，明天去看房。” 尚修文眉峰紧锁：“璐璐，你这是做跟我长期分居的打算吗？” 甘璐疲乏地说：“我不知道，我现在没法跟你待在一起。” “我可以去客房睡。” “你在装傻吗？好，我再讲明白一点，我没法跟你待在一个房子里。” “璐璐—” “你当我是任性吧。对，我的确打算任性一下了。我从来没喜欢过住在这里，以前为了你和我们的婚姻，我认了、忍了。现在我看不出我还有什么必要继续忍受，我没心情敷衍任何人，只希望有个地方独自待一阵，想让房间乱着，就不用勉强自己去打扫；想不见人，就可以把所有人关在门外；想睡就睡，想起来就起来，不需要任何理由。” 她重新蹲下去，收拾着箱子。她一向动作利索，此刻也不例外，很快整理好衣服，再站起来时，只见尚修文笔直地站在原处看着她。 “你现在怀孕了，我怎么可能放你一个人出去住。”尚修文声音沙哑地说，“而且租的房子什么都不方便，安全也不见得有保障。” “那么你还有我不知道的房产吗？听说有钱人都爱置产，没关系，现在你拿什么出来，我都受得起惊了。” 尚修文直视着她：“璐璐，不要否定我的一切。如果不是那个完全私人的原因，我不会想对你隐瞒什么，更别提财产状况了。既然选择和你结婚，我就做好了把自己所有的一切跟你分享的准备。” “这是一种很奇怪的分享方式，你让我只管在一无所知的情况下接受就行了。而且还不包括你的过去、你的感情，对吗？”甘璐同样看着他，轻轻地问，“你们两个人都很奇怪。你和我恋爱了一年多，共同生活了两年，有过那么亲密的时刻，却绝口不提你的从前；贺小姐和我只是路人，可是每次见到我，都迫不及待地要跟我详细回忆你们的过去。我很迷惑，她爱过的，和我嫁的是同一个人吗？你到底是谁，修文？我真正认识你吗？” “如果你想知道，我现在就把和她的开始跟结束都告诉你。我一定做到毫无保留。”尚修文慢慢开了口，“有一点你猜得没错，贺静宜的确与我父亲的去世有关系。” 他的声音戛然止住，室内再次出现让人几乎无法忍受的静默。甘璐正要说话，他却重新开了口。 “我从读大学开始，就在父亲公司里兼职工作。我与贺静宜是通过少昆认识的，他们以前是邻居。当时她才考进大学不久，是我的学妹。她家境一般，我们在一起后，我承认，我的确很纵容她。她对你说的那些荒唐事，我全做过，甚至更多。” 甘璐猛然打断了他：“不不不，别说了。王子与穿上水晶鞋的灰姑娘相遇，很梦幻，很童话，很有趣……但是算了，请体谅一下我现在比较脆弱，我受不了我的老公是别人的王子，我不想听这一段，更不想再对你逼供了。从现在开始，我不打算再问任何关于你过去的问题，你完整保留你的美好回忆好了。” “接下来的事既不童话，也不美好，我并不喜欢跟人提起我的那一部分生活，可是我更不愿意你用猜测来折磨自己，我们今天全讲清楚比较好一点儿。” 尚修文的声音中带着如同严冬般冰冷的寒意，甘璐只得紧紧地抿住了嘴唇。 “我们恋爱了，最初我只照顾她的生活，后来也照顾她的家人。她母亲是家庭妇女，父亲和哥哥本来做着小生意，勉强维持生计。刚开始，我安排他们开了一家小公司，做点儿与父亲从事的行业有关的下游生意，收益稳定，足够他们一家过小康以上的生活，但不可能一夜暴富，慢慢他们不满足于此了。等我意识到他们打着我父亲公司的名义在外与人谈合作，甚至宣扬我母亲的职位，接受别人的财物，声称可以做某些敏感的人事、工程安排时，事情已经发展得接近不可收拾。” 尚修文的语气恢复了一向的平静，仿佛在讲述与自己无关的事情。 “我母亲一向爱惜自己的名声与前途，听到风声后，非常愤怒，把她和我叫去痛骂；父亲出于谨慎，中止了与她家所有的经济往来。我们为此争执过不止一次，她回去后，也和她的家人吵闹过，不过都没有多少效果。欲望这个东西，就像是野兽一样，一经释放，再想关进笼子里很难。她和她的家人都不可能再回到原来简单平淡的生活中去了。 “父母都希望我和她分手，我承认我动摇了，可是她并不肯放手，用的方法……很激烈。毕竟只是她家人的问题，她还是个学生，并没有参与，而且说到底，我也有责任，又怎么可能就这样放弃她。拖到后来，终于闯出了无可挽回的大祸。 “她的父兄行事越来越张扬，卷入一场经济纠纷里。公平地讲，他们只是小人物，事情也不是因他们而起，随后的发展更不是他们能左右的。可是他们的贪念让他们一步步深陷其中，没法脱身，同时也牵连到我父亲的公司。 “这件案子越闹越大，赶上国家政策变化、银根紧缩，这件事引起一系列多米诺骨牌一样的连锁反应，最后脱离了所有人的预料和控制。两个省份有多位高官因此被双规、被免职，甚至被追究刑事责任，数家上市公司接受停牌调查，人人自危。 “最后，我父亲因此而去世，王丰被判处缓刑。静宜的父亲在取保候审期间出了一场不明不白的车祸，送医院抢救后，陷入植物人状态，再没有恢复过神志，拖延大半年后，死在医院里；她哥哥因为诈骗罪名成立，涉案金额巨大，情节严重，被判坐牢十年。” 如此出人意料的发展过程，被尚修文用没有起伏、没有感情色彩的声音徐徐说来，在这间素来宁静温馨的卧室内回响着，几乎有些惊心动魄。 甘璐不禁一片茫然，她不期然想起贺静宜说过的话。 "If you've ever experienced the unpleasantness that I have experienced, these are just pediatrics." 她当时毫不客气地嘲弄了对方的沧桑口吻。可是现在看来，贺静宜说得已经算很克制了，这哪里是小小不言的不愉快—贺静宜的确在很年轻的时候，就经历了天翻地覆的命运变化，甚至到了家破人亡、爱人离散的地步。 而这一切，那个女人是与坐在她面前的这个男人共同经历的。 她没有余力去感叹别人的命运，只苦涩地意识到，竟然把自己卷进了一个有着如此复杂过去的男人的生活之中。 “爱情这个东西原本就很脆弱，一旦牵扯进别的人和事，就慢慢变得不复单纯，更不用说经历了那样的事情。我想你应该理解了，我和她根本没有继续在一起的可能。” 甘璐完全无话可说，只能继续沉默。 “我父亲去世后，我正式与她分手，之后我们再没有联系。据说她在临近毕业的时候退了学，她父亲去世后，她便独自去了外地。” “我很抱歉。”在长时间的沉默后，甘璐再开口时，声音已经十分干涩，“属于你们的童话我不爱听。这样惨痛的回忆，我更不应该勉强你讲出来。” “你没勉强我，你向来给我足够的空间，而我滥用了你的信任与宽容，我早应该对你有一个清楚的交代了。” “不，你觉得这个交代就能解释一切吗？对不起，我并不需要这样的交代，修文，我从来没做好准备来面对你说的这些事，这只会让我更加不能接受。” 尚修文脸上扯出一个苦笑，重新握住她的手：“那是已经过去很久的事，早在我跟你开始之前，就完全结束了。” “在你这样坦白以后，我如果还要去追究什么，自己也会觉得自己是一个刻薄的女人。可是你的过去太复杂，已经超出了我能理解和接受的范围了。我真得一个人待着好好想一想。” 甘璐一下站了起来，逃跑一般弯腰拎起箱子便大步往外面走，尚修文赶上来一把夺下箱子，抓住了她：“璐璐，我们坐下来好好谈谈。” “从昨天到今天，你一直让我们好好谈，我们已经谈了一个晚上，你不累，我可真累了。” “你一向理智……” 甘璐带着不耐烦打断他：“这听着可更像是一个讽刺，而不是一个赞美。” 尚修文无可奈何，抬起她的手放在自己唇边轻吻：“是我的错，可是别用我的错惩罚你自己。” “我曾经问过你，是不是因为我理智而向我求婚。修文，我清楚地记得你的回答，你说你要的只是愿意把我们的生活联系起来的那种信任，我给了你愿意付出信任的感觉。”甘璐笑了，眼中却再度泪光莹然，“知道吗？这个回答感动了我好久，支撑我不要随便怀疑你、质问你，尽可能给你足够的空间。不过到现在我才发现，其实你一直有冷幽默的天分……” 她没法继续说下去，摇摇头，想抽回手去拿箱子，但尚修文牢牢握住了她的手：“璐璐，关于这一点，请不要怀疑我的诚意，和你生活在一起的两年，的确是我最开心幸福的日子。” 甘璐并不理会，用力挣扎着试图甩开他，却是徒劳。她连日精神不济，加上昨天的往返奔波，身体已经十分虚弱，稍一用力，不免有些气促喘息，哪里挣得开，只得怒冲冲地抬起头看着他：“你一定要和一个孕妇拉扯吗？很好，继续拉扯下去吧，也省得我为要不要留下这孩子为难了。” “璐璐—” 尚修文这一声喝叫声音并不大，却来得几乎有几分暴戾，甘璐从来没有见识过他发怒，吓得打了个寒噤，只见他眼中掠过锐利的光，这也是她不曾见识过的，她心底一寒，本能地再度缩手。尚修文牢牢握紧不放，停了一会儿，放缓声音，带了一点儿恳求意味，“不要这样说我们的孩子。” 甘璐像看一个陌生人一样看着他，眼里满是惊惧、疑惑和痛楚，在她的视线下，尚修文慢慢松开了她的手，提起了箱子：“如果你坚持要住出去的话，我陪你去找到房子再说。” 他们下楼，正碰上吴丽君散步回来，她看着尚修文手里的箱子，正要开口，尚修文先说了话：“妈，璐璐出去住几天，我送送她。” 吴丽君沉下脸来：“这成什么样子，你去记者招待会那种场合胡闹已经很离谱了，夫妻之间有什么事不能当面说清楚，现在还要闹离家出走。我一向以为你总比雨菲要懂事识大体……” “妈，这是我们两个人的事，您早点儿休息，不用管了。” 吴丽君还要说什么，但尚修文的眼神让她打住了，她很少看到自己的儿子流露出这样困顿焦灼的神态，而甘璐则是完全的漠然没有表情，嘴唇紧抿，显然没有回应的打算。她扫了他们两个人一眼，转身进了房。