Chapter 115 4. Floating Life

Thirty years ago, when Yanxi was eight years old, she went to the army with Dayi and Siwan to experience life. Children are spoiled at home and are used to it. When raising the flag, they are always staggering.At that time, Mr. Xin had not yet retired, and the military rank on his shoulders and his loud voice made the children feel insecure.Every time Yanxi was scolded, she always stared at her eyes, strode upright in the dormitory with a sugarcane in her arms, and stood in a military posture. "One Two Three" kicked forward and jumped to Dayi's small bed, shouting loudly : "The big knife is coming to the devil, come, come, get up—"

Dayi loved to sleep on the bed when he was a child. The nanny said that he had worms in his stomach and needed to take insect repellant. Before he left, he took two big pills. The white pills were always bitter, just like all reactionaries are paper tigers!The child just made up his mind, squinted his eyes and took a bite, saw Yanxi's big eyes, couldn't help shrinking his head, and said stiffly: "It's not me that my father scolded you, besides, we are really wrong , My grandfather said that there has never been such a hero of the People's Liberation Army!" Old Xin's original words were: "You bastards, forty years since the founding of New China, the national flag was raised upside down for the first time! Yan Xi, Xin Dayi, Wen Siwan, come out!"

At that time, there were crowds of people all around, all of whom were soldiers. They squinted their eyes and looked at the sky. Sure enough, five stars were fluttering in the wind under the bright red cloth.At that time, Xin Dayi was so frightened by the old man that his eyes were filled with tears, and there were still gums in his tears. As soon as Yan Xi thought about it, she gritted her teeth, and everyone in the crowd was scolded and rattled, where did he put his face?If you bully me, if I can't bully you, I'll bully your grandson, so the dirty little hands that just gnawed on the sugar cane wanted to pinch Dayi.

The pill in Dayi's mouth melted, with a strong fruity fragrance, and a small flower bloomed on his face, which was like facing an enemy. He stuffed the remaining half of the tablet into Yanxi's mouth, and patted it. Pat the small chest: "I was scared to death, it turned out to be sweet." Yan Xi curled her lips: "Soldiers of the People's Liberation Army will not be bought by sugar-coated shells! Huh... so sweet..." Dayi was happy: "Sweet, really sweet!" Siwan was flipping through the picture board, with sharp eyes and quick hands, she snatched another piece from Dayi's dark hand with her little claws, and stuffed it into her mouth.

Dayi picked up the leftover sugarcane in Yanxi's hand, chased Siwan and started fighting, crying as he ran, "What should I do? I only ate half of it, and there is still half a dead bug in my stomach, what can I do?" What should I do? Wen Siwan, you traitor! Spit out my candy!" Siwan puffed her cheeks and chewed the candy, and finally swallowed it whole, but couldn't tell whether it was bitter or sweet. Twenty-five years ago, when Yanxi was thirteen years old, she was obsessed with it for a while. She read the vernacular book three times, watched the 78-episode TV series three times, and her character broke out in class. She created countless classic comics about fox flowers and ghosts. image.

Lu Liu pointed to the little figure in green clothes and long hair and asked, "Is this a man or a woman?" Yan Xi explained enthusiastically: "Male, male fox." Lu Liu snorted: "I see. The mother seduces the man, and the man seduces the woman. Is that what you mean?" Yan Xi said righteously: "Of course not, the main skill of the male is to help the female to seduce the male." Lu Liu raised his eyebrows: "Then he shouldn't be a fox, he should be a tortoise." The corner of Yan Xi's mouth twitched: "Why?" Lu Liu read his "Bao Gong An" for the third time: "The book says that such a man is called Gui Gong."

Yan Xi was filled with indignation: "Mao, this male fox is great. He saved a scholar, and then betrothed his beautiful younger sister to the scholar. What a fox, don't insult my fox!" Lu Liu looked up at the sky: "Your father-in-law, fox, does voluntary labor to learn from Lei Feng." Yan Xi lifted the table: "Your uncle, Lu Liu, your uncle! Don't insult my idol, little fox!" Back then, Yan Xi's idol was Pu Songling. Facts have proved that teenagers with faith and idols have to pay a heavy price.I wonder if the fox in the book also wants to marry the scholar's sister?

Twenty years ago, when Yan Xi was eighteen years old, there were no people in the pictures he drew, but there were people in the photos he took. Wen Heng asked why, Yan Xi said he couldn't draw.He can't draw those things in everyone's eyes. Most of the naivety will hurt people, and the selfish desires are hidden behind the viciousness. Wen Heng likes to do housework. She stands on a stool, tiptoeing and rubbing the high photos over and over again.Those pictures are easy to be dazzled by the colors when you look at them for the first time, but the corners behind the colors are always dark.Ah Heng wiped it, and could only see those black ones.She asked him sadly: "Who is the person you most want to photograph?"

Yan Xi thought for a while, then smiled: "Joker." During the holiday, Yan Xi, Ah Heng, and Dayi played poker, and they would be punished if they lost.Yan Xi and Dayi were fined to drink almost a bucket of water, but Ah Heng was safe and sound, his face could shine even on the playing cards.This kid takes everything seriously.Unexpectedly, he lost three games in a row in the end. As soon as Yan Xi poured the water, Ah Heng moved his face away from the playing cards, and said with a smile in his eyes, "I'm playing a clown." She found a colorful hat and painted her face with oil paint, yellow nose, red eyes, blue lips, and white face. It was so funny to look at.When the clown grinned, Dayi laughed so hard that she laughed embarrassedly, took out the prepared plastic flower from behind, and gave it to Yanxi.

Yanxi took out the camera, but didn't press the shutter for a long time.He squatted on the ground, gently wiped off the oil stains with cleansing oil, looked at her tenderly rarely, and said with a smile: "Man-made tragedies in this world are all man-made, but I don't want to create any more tragedies for you. " He wanted to see the clown because his heart was full of anger, and he always wondered how malicious and bizarre the eyes were under such a face that made people laugh.The same is true for tragedies, which are always hidden from the public. In those years, Lu Liu kept asking him why he deviated from the same lonely self, Yan Xi said: "You have never seen such a happy clown, because I am a happy clown."

Fifteen years ago, Yan Xi was 23 years old and had been a DJ Yan for a long time.It was very busy at that time, and many people who claimed to like him wrote to him. When he was too busy, he hired a personal assistant to deal with the letters. The girl was a bit careless, holding a handful of letters, she shouted excitedly in the studio hall: "Hey, Yanxi, the surname of this pile of letters is Wen!" Everyone in the radio station knew that he was waiting for a letter from a man surnamed Wen. When he first read the letter, he spread it out like a poker card, and later, he packed it tightly, always afraid of seeing the signature on the next letter. He was afraid that all those people were named Wen, but not Heng. Ten years ago, Yanxi was twenty-eight years old, and his son finally learned to walk.He stood not far away, holding a piece of candy nervously, waiting for the little baby to walk towards him. The little hand that the son stretched out wanting to be hugged by his father and the smile that could not see his teeth reminded him of himself when he was young.When he was learning to walk, he always looked like a little old man with his little hands behind his back.There is no embrace called father in front of you. The little child finally walked crookedly into his arms. He peeled off the candy, stuffed it into his son's mouth, and asked him if it was delicious?The little baby shook his head, but finally hugged Yanxi's face and kissed him.Those candy-smelling milk scents were printed on his cheeks, and Yan Xi smiled. It was the first time that the little baby softly called out to Dad, Yan Xi held those little hands, and said with a smile: "Baby, call out a few more times, and call Dad back." He used to think that crying was the only way to vent his emotions, but how many tears do people have in a lifetime, and how many tears should a man have in a lifetime? Five years ago, Yanxi was thirty-three years old, his wife had a second child, and Siwan, Dayi, and Yunzai were betting on men and women at the door. Siwan slapped her big hand and pressed down ten yuan: "Nephew!" All his life, he was tired of a hot and annoying little girl like Wensell. Dayi hesitated, and took out twenty yuan: "Godson?" He couldn't figure out what Yan Xisheng's girl would look like, sometimes just thinking about it, he felt that life was like the scene of a car accident, dying early and reborn early. Yun Zai twirled the beads and threw fifty yuan: "Nephew!" Sneered in his heart, Nima wants a girl, doesn't she?I curse you for giving birth to a son, just a son, yes, a nephew is like an uncle! Ah Heng likes to eat spicy food these days, so Yan Xi handed over a hundred yuan viciously, gritted his teeth and said, "Female, female, female! I'm allowed to eat your ribs, but I'm not allowed to eat your ribs!" The three of them brushed the ground in cold sweat expressionlessly, and Yanxi's cell phone rang. "Is it a girl?" There was a clear and cold male voice on the opposite side. "It's not your wife, it's none of your business to give birth to a girl and a son. I said Gu Feibai, your fucking brain twitches from time to time!" Yan Xi raised his eyebrows. "It's okay. I just want to say, if it's a girl, please don't send her to Jiangnan in the future, I'm afraid she will harm my son." deep meaning. "I'll fuck you!" Yan Xi dropped the phone. After a while, the nurse came out happily holding the baby: "Congratulations!" Yan Xi shook her hands, opened the small quilt, and took a look. There was something the size of a grain of rice that she was very proud of. The newborn child opened his big, ignorant eyes, Yan Xibei came out of it, squeezed his son Yubai's little ears and cursed: "I don't plan to play the whole Chinese men's football team, why are you here?" The little baby couldn't understand, and smiled shamelessly at the only light source, her eyes were bent exactly like Ah Heng. Yan Xi was stunned for three seconds, but hugged the child tightly, smiling and crying. He thought that what he wanted was a girl, but in fact, he just wanted a self who was exactly like his wife. He hopes that God will endow his children with all the good qualities that belong to Ah Heng, but as long as they are a little bit like Ah Heng, even if they are stubborn, timid, cowardly, or clumsy, he will feel unspeakably happy. The relationship between husband and wife seems so worldly and selfish, maybe it is not a great and selfless love, but those loves that have sublimated to nowhere, often do not last for ten, twenty, thirty years, and the white-haired old man seeps into the mud. Who cares. This year, Yan Xi was thirty-eight years old and suffered from a disease in which she had to say her name for half a minute, but she couldn't figure out where to start when she took a breath.They called it "severe illness." He has a good wife who is a doctor, so this serious illness will never become serious. At night in the hospital, his family did not allow him to accompany him, and he had to drag a bottle when he urinated. He often urinated halfway, and screamed heartbreakingly in the men's toilet: "Blood, blood, Dr. Wen!" The female doctor who squeezed into the hospital from the research institute had practiced her skills well, and rushed over from the office, holding up a hanging bottle and cursing: "It's not Chinese New Year anymore, why are you so excited!" Focusing her eyes again, the needle tube was clean without a trace of blood. She tilted her head and frowned and asked him, "Where did the blood come back?" But he hugged that doctor Wen, and whispered softly: "Yes, indeed, I just went back because I was scared by you." There was something in my heart, but I didn't say it: "A Heng, I miss you again." When the blood was drawn, he screamed, and the louder he screamed, the more his flesh hurt, the more his heart stopped hurting. When the children were in school and Ah Heng was at work, he would sit in the garden of the hospital and draw.Draw the sun, draw the pond water, draw the begonias, and continue to draw after the painting is finished.Dr. Wen occasionally passed the garden, he smiled and said not to move, Ah Heng stood there watching him paint himself. When he painted her, he never raised his head to look at his wife.Such eyebrows, such eyes and such a smile will never be forgotten while alive.He had taken many hormone drugs, and his mood was always suddenly high and then suddenly low. When he was agitated, he threw the drawing paper and said to her like an enemy: "Are you a nightmare? It has always been engraved in my heart!" After finishing speaking, he kept staring into her eyes, and lo and behold, she still refused to cry like this. He made up his mind and turned around: "We're divorced, Wen Heng, you go, go!" But she rested her head on his lap and smiled softly: "Okay, wait until you get better." The hospital had issued three notices of critical illness, and he weakly biting a grain of rice asked her, "Are you really going to be a widow?" That A Heng, his A Heng said very gently: "You can give it a try and see whether I will be a widow first or you will be a widower first. If you don't want your three children to lose their father and mother, You can try, in this world, is suicide much faster than your illness?" Yan Xi's face twitched, and he actively cooperated with the treatment.It's hard to get a girl three years ago, and it looks like she hasn't been brought up to be fat, and she hasn't been harmed by Gu Feibai's son! I spent my thirty-eighth birthday in the hospital, and after cutting the cake, the attending physician called Ah Heng away with a solemn face. Yan Xi watched the children eat cakes, and while they were eating, the young son who had been silent all the time cried and fell into his arms with a white beard on his face: "Dad, Dad, are you dying soon, Dad, can you do not die……" The kindergarten teacher just told them what is life and what is death. Yan Xi hugged him, this child looks the most like Ah Heng.In the end, who would have thought that what he loves the most is not the elder son or the younger daughter, but the silent and gentle second son. "Yan Jing, Dad will not die." He called his son's full name and told his son seriously, "I assure you, Dad will not die." The little girl who had just turned three years old looked at the two foolishly, but suddenly started crying along with her brother: "Dad is lying, and Dad promised last time that I went to pick up crabs with Benben, but Dad didn't go either. Dad is talking nonsense!" Yan Xi said embarrassingly: "Dad, can't you escape..." The eldest son Yan Qi, who has already entered junior high school, has always been responsible for taking care of his younger siblings. He originally hugged his younger sister well, but now his eyes are red, and he pulls his younger brother out of his father's arms.But the little guy blushed and held Yanxi's clothes tightly, never letting go. In the end, Yan Qi let go of his hand and choked up, "You say you're not dead, how can we believe you!" This little boy already has Yan Xi's old appearance, beautiful and loves to make ends meet. He cried and said, "I can't dig you out when you're dead. You don't even know if I cry to death. If your mother remarries after you die... Let me tell you, my stepfather will beat us and scold us." You tortured us to death! You finished Yanxi, your children were bullied to death by others, you still dare to die..." Yan Jing and Ben Ben cried even louder. Wen Heng watched outside the door for a long time, and at the end the four of them hugged each other and cried. The sound of crying was really horrible, so he coughed lightly: "I'm sorry to disturb your father and son's filming of the series, but I still want to say something, Yan Xi , you can leave the hospital." Yan Xi burst into tears three thousand feet: "Is it finally declared dead?" A Heng gritted his teeth: "Although it's a pity that I didn't have the opportunity to find stepfathers to abuse your three cubs, but I still want to say, Yanxi, you are cured!" There was three minutes of silence in the ward. Yan Xi hugged her youngest son and said kindly: "It's said that Dad doesn't lie anymore, and Dad never cheats." Turning around, he glared at his eldest son and cursed: "Mum, go home and kneel down!" He smiled and patted his little daughter's head again: "Stupid, Dad won't take you to pick small crabs, let's go catch big crabs, big ones, big ones, so big." While gesturing, he peeked at his wife's face. Ah Heng came over and sneered: "Before taking your girl to catch crabs, I signed the divorce agreement first. I'm afraid you will have no chance if you are caught by big crabs! Don't you really want to divorce? I will fulfill you today!" The soft and fleshy little Benben looked at his mother sincerely: "What is divorce?" Ah Heng picked up the little girl: "It's just that Mom doesn't eat and sleep with Dad anymore." Benben thought for a while, looked at his mother blankly, and then sad tears appeared in his big eyes: "But, without mother, father will starve to death." Yan Xi lowered her head at first, but when she heard her daughter's words, her eyes turned red.He looked up, looked at Ah Heng, smiled and sighed softly: "A Heng, what can I do, what can I do?" Ah Heng hugged his daughter, all the fear, grievance and pain disappeared.She blocked the damp heat in her eyes with the back of her hand, choked up and said, "You can't die, it's not that I won't let you die, but I don't want to die at all." Yan Xi was startled, but understood her words. In the end, who would have thought that there are any couples in the world who are like them, without one, the other can't live? Who would have thought that this was already the case when I was young. He finally has six memories of his floating life, remembering childhood to know the original truth of the world; remembering faith to know the unchanging openness of being a person; Only then can you understand true love; remember children know that although being a child is difficult, being a parent is not the kindest person in the world; The last note, stumbled and stumbled to know a little bit of love between husband and wife, the shadow of sadness and fear has been with us for some time, but when a baby is born, it is clear that this life is suffering. No one will miss it, but the most important thing is to know that there is the same equality When the disaster is imminent, the woman stands on the branch and waits with him for death or another beginning.