Chapter 14 Fourteen, the only one I will not envy you

It was exactly the same as the picture in my dream.Is this not a dream, but my own memory? Zhang Xiaoman was extremely surprised, and after a few seconds, she smiled brilliantly, it was the brilliance that overshadowed the world, not because of her appearance, but because of that girlish innocence. An unreserved light that cannot be hidden when you mention your lover. "Yes!" She nodded like a chick pecking at rice, "He jumped onto the wall at once, sat against the light, and the setting sun shone from behind him, his outline was golden. He said, why don't you draw me. I know What he said sounds shameless - but he is not serious, he is teasing me, which shows that he has no airs, don't get me wrong, he is not really narcissistic..."

"Okay, no need to explain!" I waved my hand, "He's very interesting." "Really?" Zhang Xiaoman's eyes widened, "Right, right, I also think he is very good." I suddenly saw my previous self in her eyes. Fourteen years have passed, even though I have entered the shameless thirty years old, when I mentioned Teng Zhen to Lao He, I was still dancing like this-telling all the embarrassing things consciously and cunningly, and I was afraid that others would misunderstand him. penny. Zhang Xiaoman jumped up and down for a while, then fell down again.

"I haven't finished painting yet, Liang Shengmei is here. I don't know why she has known Senior Teng Zhen for a long time. Liang Shengmei ignored me. She chatted with Teng Zhen. I was panicked, so I put away the drawing board and left first. "Later, when school started, I met senior Teng Zhen several times during the student union meeting. He still talked to me normally, but I just felt that he seemed to have a prejudice against me. I don't know if Liang Shengmei said something... ..." "So what's the hatred between you and Liang Shengmei?" Of course I know.But as a stranger, I definitely still have to ask.

Zhang Xiaoman shook his head, pursed his mouth defensively, and forced a smile for a while: "I really didn't do it on purpose... Forget it, you won't believe me this time." It might be a bit reckless and regretful for Zhang Xiaoman to pour out her thoughts to me. She put on a casual smile and carried her schoolbag on her back. "No matter what you say, I will believe you," I said solemnly, "I believe you are a very good girl. Don't worry about why, just believe me like I believe you." Zhang Xiaoman was stunned.Suddenly she rushed over and hugged me tightly.

The feeling of being hugged by my young self is amazing, as if the mirror has warmed up. My heart is beating violently - for her, everything is worth it. I am thirty years old, I am very good at being a man, and I am very good at falling in love, so let me help you out, help you stop the gun, and help you get him. Let me, old soul, give you everything. You are the only one in the whole world that I will not be jealous of. My younger self and I walked out the gate hand in hand.Zhang Xiaoman told Wang Pingping's parents who were waiting at the school gate that Wang Pingping missed too many courses, so she recommended a make-up class to try out today.

We walked in front, Wang Pingping's parents followed, and walked to Peninsula Road together.Wang Pingping's parents seemed to have a lot of confidence in the monitor, Zhang Xiaoman, and they were even more pleased that their daughter had made friends in the new class. At the entrance of the remedial class, I asked Wang Pingping's parents for five yuan, saying that I would go to the canteen to buy bread for dinner. They didn't refuse, and they agreed to pick me up at ten o'clock and left.Zhang Xiaoman and I entered the door together, and then hid by the window to confirm that they had indeed gone far away.

"Thank you!" I patted Zhang Xiaoman gratefully. "Where are you going?" Zhang Xiaoman grabbed my arm vigilantly, "Didn't you come to make up lessons?" You just admitted that I'm your best friend from today on, what's wrong with best friends taking advantage of each other? "Your parents trust me and let me bring you here. How will I explain to them when you leave, and what will happen if there is any danger?" She held on to me and did not let go. "I promise to be back before ten o'clock and let them pick me up safely, okay? If anything goes wrong, just kill me and say we didn't sit together, and you didn't notice when I ran away, and you You can be exempted from liability, and I will never confess you, because of you I even recited the blame for incontinence, do you still believe me?"

The kindness of pulling my pants was like the depths of the sea, Zhang Xiaoman had no strength to resist, let go of his hand, and added weakly at the moment I turned around to escape, you should be careful. I really want to go back and kiss her. I was at the canteen outside the door, took out a piece of paper with Lao He’s phone number written in my trouser pocket, and made a call for 40 cents. Today is so ups and downs, I really can't help but want to have a drink. After waiting on the side of the street for a while, Lao He appeared on her small motorcycle.I stepped into the back seat, put on my hard hat, and my mood flew with the oncoming wind.

Unexpectedly, she brought me to Old Man Gao's shop. More than ten years ago, Old Man Gao's store had not been expanded, and the real estate was his own. It was not a bar, but an ordinary small restaurant with five or six tables and two waiters. Old Man Gao cooked the dishes himself. Fourteen years ago, the old man Gao was very handsome, with a hint of Fei Xiang, and his hair was thick. No wonder the foreign girls who came to the island city for tourism fell in love with him at first sight. "I don't have any money, next time I have money, I'll invite you again," I have a natural familiarity with Lao He of any age, and before she was polite to me, I turned my head and shouted at Old Man Gao , "Boss Gao, draft beer!"

The door curtain was raised, and four or five early 21st-century killers walked in, and the leader patted me on the shoulder vigorously: "Oh, you still drink draft beer, you don't look like you!" "Do you know, because of you, the police caught three fugitives in the Internet cafe today!" I think of those three shirtless young men. "And the police think you are the fourth." Old He added. At this time, the waiter brought the draft beer to the table, and the killers collectively toasted: "To the newcomers!" Look at what I'm talking about, a bunch of innocent hooligans.

I stopped at the point where I was slightly drunk.It's best to be slightly drunk, and if you drink any more, you may be beaten to death by Wang Pingping's parents. When I came out of the toilet, I found a girl named Xiaoyan crying in Kill Matt, and Lao He patted her on the back helplessly. "What's wrong?" "You don't understand even if you tell me," Lao He said with a cigarette in his mouth, slurring his words, "I confessed my love to a man, but I was rejected." The killers all drank a little too much and told me why. Xiaoyan is in a vocational high school, and the school organizes them to go to hotels for internships. In fact, it uses them as cheap labor, and they don't have to pay wages for credits.She fell in love with the lobby manager. But barely spoke to the manager, not even sure the manager knew her name. Suddenly her mother fell ill. After the tumor was removed, the laboratory test showed whether it was benign or malignant. The test report came out five minutes later. Xiaoyan waited outside the gate of fate, suddenly feeling boundless loneliness and fear. She looks like a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl. If her mother is really diagnosed with a malignant tumor, her life will change course. So she cried in the corridor, and then texted the lobby manager to confess. The manager didn't return. "Nonsense," I sighed, "it's only right if he doesn't reply." The whole house is quiet. I found that my pause was very bad. If I didn't explain quickly, they might each swing a wine bottle on my head for Xiaoyan. "Think about it, you haven't cultivated a relationship with him, there is no ambiguity at all, if you confess your love, he will talk to you, what kind of person has he become, isn't this a pervert who never refuses anyone! At least, it shows that you The people I like are quite decent." Xiaoyan stopped crying, and stared at me blankly with tears hanging down, because she drank too much wine, her reaction was a little slow: "Then I am confessing my confession right?" "Of course it's not right. If you confess without being ambiguous, it's basically a dead end. Give up." Seeing that everyone was about to raise their glasses again, I quickly added: "It's not completely useless. You calm down for a week, disappear for a while, and then mobilize your classmates to organize a few gatherings of interns and colleagues. When you appear in front of him , as if I hadn’t said anything.” Xiaoyan: "I want to send him a text message today and say—" I interrupted her: "I didn't mean to tell you to run to him and say 'Just pretend I didn't say anything'. Fake free and easy is really hypocritical, the most points will be reduced, okay? You lose as soon as you say this, you still There is no bargaining chip, what Joe!" "What I'm talking about is pretending that I haven't said it. I'm brainwashing myself. All your words and behaviors should be the same as when you haven't confessed. You should be generous. This will make the manager feel that you are special. If you fail to confess your confession, pester him or be shy, maybe he will not understand whether your confession is true or not, and whether you are playing him... You see, the most important thing is to let him start thinking about you. Trust me, speaking from experience, Eighty percent of the emotions in this world originate from speculation." Including Lao He, everyone on the opposite side was taken aback by what I said. In a daze, I felt that I was finally Zhang Xiaoman again, giving advice to Xiaoye and others in the art museum, because I am a little expert in love, each of them looked at me with such bright eyes, and they believed in me. At this time, applause came from behind, breaking their personality cult of me. Teng Zhen. I don't know when he came in. There was a plate of tomato scrambled eggs and a plate of chilli beef tenderloin on the table. They were almost finished. When I looked back at him, I unexpectedly saw my reflection on the glass behind him.Wang Pingping, with flushed cheeks, slapped my love theory hard. I don't blame Teng Zhen for mocking me with applause. If I passed by here by myself and saw such an image of a girl loudly analyzing how to use strategies to capture the sweetheart, and heard the phrase "experience", I am afraid that there will be a hint of malice in my heart. I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was 9:20. "I'm leaving first," I said to Lao He, "I have to go back before ten o'clock." They drank a little too much, only Lao He was still sober. Feeling my inexplicable depression, she stood up and said that she would drive a motorcycle to see me off. "Don't drive after drinking, you will die," I paused, and smiled wryly, "This time it's true, speaking from experience." I walked along the path for half a minute, and I was sobered up by the early autumn wind, and the last trace of pleasant drunkenness dissipated. There was the sound of chasing footsteps behind him. "Hey, I have something to ask you." Teng Zhen actually chased him out, "It's obviously not you who pulled your pants, why did you admit it?" Can this matter be turned over, can I explain it to you? "It's me." I walked faster and faster without turning my head. "It's the girl crying in the men's toilet cubicle. Hao Lin has seen her before." "Why are you so gossiping, a big man? Is it because you leave too little homework for you?" "But I don't think you are here to help her. You are here to help Zhang Xiaoman, right?" I finally stopped, turned around, and saw Teng Zhen showing an expression of "it's true". Teng Zhen in the night was a little far away from me, overlapping with his early thirties, I was in a trance. "I'm just curious, just ask." Teng Zhen showed a natural sense of superiority, "Maybe I'm just free, after all, studying is not difficult." "Yes, yes, you are still the most beautiful scenery on campus." "What?" He didn't respond to the stalk, looking at me in bewilderment. It seems that he doesn't quite remember the first time he met Zhang Xiaoman, because Zhang Xiaoman was full of joy when he talked about it.Really sad. Teng Zhen didn't get entangled in my sarcasm, and continued to ask: "You don't believe that Zhang Xiaoman said about that girl?" "Do not believe." "Then how do you think Jiang He knew?" He crossed his arms and looked at me with a smile. I was stunned: "Could it be you who said it! You are too cheap! You—" "Zhang Xiaoman told him," Teng Zhen interrupted me, "Since you are taking the blame for them, you should know the truth." "impossible." Teng Zhen took a few steps towards me and stood under the street light: "We went to the hospital together after playing football yesterday. Jiang He told me what happened in your class, and I immediately guessed what happened to the girl hiding in the men's room. Something's wrong. I'm not as cheap as you think, I didn't say I met you in the toilet, Hao Lin almost said it, but I stopped him." "It's fine to talk about it, but Jiang He insists on saying that the smell is coming from around him. He has to find out--in fact, he himself suspected his tablemate first. Blame my stupidity, I know he likes Zhang Xiaoman, he and I said, so in order to divert his attention from staring at it, I made a joke." Teng Zhen scratched the back of his head and looked up at the street lamp: "Maybe this joke is inappropriate, Zhang Xiaoman is a little anxious." "What did you say?" I asked. "I said, anyone can do any kind of investigation, what if Zhang Xiaoman is found out," Teng Zhen grinned awkwardly, "That idiot Hao Lin also answered, saying that's right, didn't Jiang He also say Zhang Xiaoman himself?" He arrived at the sidelines last, and he was anxious to death." I looked at Teng Zhen calmly, and my heart had already kicked him in the face. If he didn't say anything, I could guess what happened next. "Zhang Xiaoman became anxious, saying that there were still people in the room when she left the class," Teng Zhen sighed, "Jiang He immediately asked her if she was at the same table as him, and she stopped talking. , and finally invited them to dinner. They were both well during the meal, and I saw Zhang Xiaoman was quite happy. I also thought that Jiang He let this matter go. Who would have thought that he would be so heartless..." I just can't take it anymore. "If it was a normal situation, I believe Zhang Xiaoman would be able to take this joke and would not rush to defend himself." I said. He asked, "Then why was it unusual yesterday?" Because it's you who are kidding. "Let me ask you, do you think it's her fault that Zhang Xiaoman was besieged by you in such a situation, and she was so anxious to say that she slipped her tongue?" Maybe I was too serious, Teng Zhen also put away his frivolous expression. "Not really." He shook his head. "But you shouldn't be in such a hurry. I've heard some things about her. Well, she's definitely not a bad person, but a little girl..." Teng Zhen was hesitant to speak, but he was full of disdain, and he was too lazy to talk about it.I think of the girl whose eyes were shining when she first met him, and how she carefully counted the ranks in the queue, waiting for him to pin the school badge on her chest. Did you ever think that he would stab her in the heart? I couldn't tell whether it was sad or angry, my hands were hanging by my side, trembling slightly. "Who told you that, Liang Shengmei?" "You also know Liang Shengmei?" Teng Zhen was surprised, "She is the daughter of my kindergarten teacher." Of course I do. She is the only girl I admit is prettier than me. Where there is Liang Shengmei, I will always be the second place, the second place in grades, the deputy squad leader, the deputy team leader... Now I really can’t remember how I felt at that time, but based on my experience as an adult, I can guess When I was a child, I was very uncomfortable. It's fine if I'm plain-looking, she's the best, no one will object.But I was not bad, so I was pulled out from the crowd, stood next to her, compared with her, and was judged by everyone.Students who like Liang Shengmei will sneer at me and say that I am imitating others, and those who hate Liang Shengmei will use me as a shield to attack Liang Shengmei, saying that I am much better than her-for me, who has always been quite self-aware, this kind of praise , more embarrassing than attacking. The corner of fate is the fifth grade of elementary school.Liang Sheng's aesthetic flute, went to the teacher's house for class, the gas tank exploded in the teacher's house, and she was innocently affected, and the part of the mandible on the left cheek connected to the left ear and the side of the neck was severely burned. Liang Shengmei lay in the hospital for a long time. After several skin grafting operations, she finally decided to take a break from school for half a year and recuperate at home. Many elementary school teachers in my time were completely out of their minds.She asked me to be the deputy monitor and organize the whole class to visit her.I instinctively refused, saying that she probably didn't want to see anyone right now, but was criticized by the teacher in public, saying that I didn't care about my classmates, turned a blind eye to their suffering, and even gloated. Everyone thinks I am gloating.Or rather, I should gloat. Liang Shengmei suffered at home, and I was judged at school. No one believes that, as a girl who also cherishes her skin, I can understand Liang Shengmei's pain better than anyone else. In the end, I still couldn't hold back the teacher, so I bite the bullet and organized everyone, and a group of people went to her house with fruits and toys.Liang Shengmei's house is not much bigger than mine, and many students cannot enter the house.The living room was dark and poorly lit. Her mother entertained us in the cramped living room, and put the gifts we brought on the small greasy dining table, and Liang Shengmei didn't show up until the end. After Liang Shengmei dropped out of school, I was the monitor of the class and the captain of the squadron. I bit the bullet and squeezed out a smirk, greeted Liang Shengmei's mother, and spoke the official language that the leaders would only speak in the news broadcast when they inspected the lives of citizens. I think Liang Shengmei in the room must have heard my annoying condolences. Those good classmates who cared about Liang Shengmei happily talked about how Liang Shengmei's house was so small and the corridors were so broken. They thought her family was very rich. I listened silently, and became more determined. I would never invite any good classmates to visit No. 6 Ming'an Street. I didn't see Liang Shengmei again until the end of elementary school. I heard that she was self-taught at home, and she was also admitted to Yinglang, and she was also the first in the admissions examination. I was not in the same class when I was in junior high school, and I met him a few times on the playground. She always wears high-necked and long-sleeved clothes, even in summer, and is the only girl in school who is allowed to have her long hair loose. The long hair parted on the side covers her She has a bumpy pink scar on her left cheek. One day I went to the bathroom with some classmates.Yinglang's women's bathroom is very spacious. There are two drain faucets on the left and right when entering the door. When you walk to the end, you have to turn a corner and pass through a small corridor to enter the toilet room. It is very beautiful. Just around the corner. I walked in a hurry, and a person approached me at the corner, and I almost bumped into each other.I put my hand on my chest and said loudly, "I'm scared to death!" Scared me. Everyone's eyes turned to Liang Shengmei who was opposite me.No matter how well her scars are concealed, they can still be seen at a glance. There are girls from every class in the toilet. Many junior high school students saw Liang Shengmei for the first time. Their gasping exclamations were faint but clear. Liang Shengmei glanced at me and left quickly. We were still studying in the same school, but we rarely saw each other again. I don't remember that she was also studying in No. 1 Middle School, let alone where she went. So I didn't have a chance to tell her that what I said scared me to death, and I really didn't mean that. I really didn't mean to. I sat on the ground by the side of the road, and as Zhang Xiaoman's friend and witness, I told Teng Zhen the whole story. "You don't have to believe it. There is no way to prove what a person thinks in his heart. What's more, the damage has already been done. It may make no difference to Liang Shengmei whether he has intentions or not. Liang Shengmei hates her and wants to kill her. I can understand. , But why do you? Why do you judge that Zhang Xiaoman did it on purpose? Then use your judgment to humiliate her? I know your EQ is not that low, and you won’t make such dirty jokes on a girl casually. You will drive her into a hurry just because you have malice towards her." I got up and patted my butt. "I said this morning that you'd grow up to be a great bastard. I was wrong. You are now." Teng Zhen is really a weirdo. He was rarely outraged by my direct personal attacks on him, and his focus was always outside my imagination. "You've only known her for a few days, and you just protect her like this? It's unreasonable." He pondered for a while, suddenly thought of something, looked at me, and asked in a very small voice: "You, shouldn't you be gay?"