Chapter 2 Two, love

I love the sky in October. Everywhere from the south to the north is beautiful, even if the smog is heavy on weekdays, this season will continue to show smiles, the sky is clear and the air is clear. "October is the most beautiful month in every place I've been to. Europe, Japan, South Korea, the United States... Oh, I'm sorry to pretend too much, I have never been to the United States." I shook the champagne glass in my hand, Teng Zhen couldn't help laughing out loud.Sometimes I wonder if I'm really funny or if he likes me too much.It's really hard to choose between these two answers.

"But the most beautiful thing is the sky in Shanghai." I continued. "why?" "Because it's low." I pointed to the towering Shanghai Center on the opposite bank.There was a light rain in the evening, and the low-hanging clouds covered both sides of the Huangpu River with wet water vapor. People couldn't help but take a deep, deep breath and hide the clouds in their bodies. "The spire is buried in the clouds. It's not because of the tall buildings, but because the sky is low. I come to Shanghai once a year in autumn, and I come here to live and play when I don't have a business trip. You see, the clouds move very fast. The city lights at night It's so bright that the sky isn't even black, it's this very dark, dark purple against which the clouds are white and white, right above your head, so close that you can reach out and grab them."

Fortunately, I drank some wine, otherwise I would not be able to speak such a young man. Even if he was a little coquettish on purpose, he still felt a little bit emotional while talking. "When I came to Shanghai for the first time, I thought, no wonder it is a ten-mile foreign market, which has stood up for a hundred years. I am a gambler and I will fight for my life. How can there be such an illusion in other places that you can grasp the sky with your hands. " My first time in Shanghai?After I finished speaking, I was also stunned.When did I first come to Shanghai? Teng Zhen didn't speak for a long time, I turned my head and looked at him with slightly squinted eyes, maybe a little drunk.How can a woman who has lived to be thirty years old not know what looks best on herself?I did it on purpose.

As expected, he blushed a little, pulled the collar of his shirt with his right hand uncomfortably, looked away, and then stubbornly greeted him, with a kind of childishness of a teenager. I'm happy instead.If he is always able to do things with ease, then it will be boring. The shy look of a man in his early thirties is so precious. I didn't chase after and beat me hard, I just turned my head with a smile.At this time, the boat shook slightly, and when he was helping me, his hand brushed my face unintentionally.In fact, I didn't feel anything, his own ears turned red first. Holy Mary, I'm guilty of wanting to eat him, literally, with a knife and fork.

But I still tried my best to maintain my appearance. "Don't you have enough makeup?" I touched my face on purpose. "So what if it's flowers. Actually, I don't care if girls are pretty or not." "I spend a lot more time looking in the mirror than others looking at me every day. You don't care, I still care." I answered the words casually, but he was doubly stunned. You get confused so quickly, don't you?Or, did he think of any "not pretty" ex-girlfriend? I decided to ignore it. "Oh yes, do me a favor." "What?" His thoughts were pulled back as expected.

"In a while, if I drink too much first, you must remember to remind me to remove contact lenses, remove makeup, and apply essence and cream." He laughed and nodded. Mr. He said that I am good at chatting, so I have been pulling him a little bit these days.The atmosphere of the reception was in full swing, one glass of champagne after another, and the boat kept going back and forth between Shiliupu Wharf and Yangpu Bridge.I’m just a relationship-seeker, a low-level person who was invited here, and all the exhibitions and agency works of our art gallery are only worthy of selling waste paper by the catty in the eyes of real art investors, so no one will come to chat with me, just right You can talk to him wholeheartedly.Talk about anything.

Talk about the latest movie, talk about the life derived from the movie, life is too complicated and general, so I went on to talk about people, people are too subtle, so let’s be more superficial, more superficial... Teng Zhen's outstanding side face was imprinted in the night, he didn't say much, but every word stepped on my heart.Although we haven't known each other for a long time and only have some basic understanding, I can see that he is also a talkative person by nature, maybe he was still a bit of a naughty bad boy when he was a teenager? But the years have precipitated everyone, and he didn't reveal too much truth to me.

This is more fun. We talked about the old man in the family addicted to TV shopping.My dad bought several sets of German pots. Legend has it that the water and oil will not splash when they are cooked together, and ended up with a big scald on his forehead. Later, he began to buy Chilean kiwifruit, which has 18 times the vitamin C content of domestic products, starting from two boxes. Sell ​​it, it’s bad when it’s sent, and the nutrients are basically ingested by breathing rotten gas... Teng Zhen said that after his father retired, he saved money on food and clothing, and bought a 100,000 yuan infrared physiotherapy sauna for the first time with his pension , The second purchase of a liar fund that claims to have an annualized rate of return of 30%.

I instantly thought he might be showing off his wealth.The same father, his father buys things starting at 100,000 yuan, and my father still eats rotten kiwi fruit at home. In this regard, talking about the 90s when the demons danced wildly, when we were children, we also clamored for our parents to give us myopia correctors, spinal correction tapes, copybooks that couldn’t practice calligraphy well, and 100% error-correcting VCDs, especially my little one. Age actually fell in love with the "Porcelain Doll" whitening capsule advertisement in the local newspaper, desperately saving money to buy it secretly...

I love talking about the 90s.Because I can still remember it. Fortunately, when Teng Zhen changed the topic to high school, I finally got really drunk and leaned against the railing of the deck.The bright high and low lights on the shore are connected into a long bead chain in the eyes.The old buildings of all countries are lined up, facing row upon row of monsters in the new century. The ashes of time remaining in the past century are all crushed into the Huangpu River, and the cruise ships go upstream in the years. When people are drunk, they often cannot sleep soundly.I tossed and turned, but was woken up by the hotel's air conditioner.

Just now I had a very chaotic dream. I was tugging at the sleeve of a school uniform with a high school girl who couldn’t see her face clearly, and snarled harsh words at each other.The self in the dream is always weaker, can't run, and punches softly, but is full of anger.The girl on the opposite side was quick-witted. She raised her arm and slapped me across the face. Before I could fight back, I kicked my legs and missed, and woke up immediately. The dream receded rapidly as I became conscious, but the anger, the overwhelming anger, refused to dissipate for a long time, and my hands were shaking with anger. I turned over and got out of bed to adjust the temperature, and saw my blurred shadow on the floor-to-ceiling glass that I forgot to draw the curtain.Outside the window is the dark and sleepy city at three o'clock in the morning. My mirror image is suspended in the midair of the city, clutching my beating heart, feeling as confused as a teenager for the first time. When I woke up the next morning, I dazedly turned on my phone and was dazzled by the screen.He sent a WeChat message half an hour ago, asking me if I was not feeling well, and if I would like to bring me some breakfast. I lay on my stomach with my chin on the cushions, grinning, my calves dangling in the air like a dog that has just been fed a bone. I didn't call because I was afraid of waking me up; I sent WeChat early in the morning because I was thinking of me when I woke up.Teng Zhen, you are doing very well. The night before was so measured, saying goodbye in a mellow manner, and nothing happened, which is even more wonderful, and the beauty is solemn.Zhang Xiaoman, you are even better, applaud.These thoughts flashed through my mind quickly, and my hands didn't stop. The sound of typing keys was like an elf kicking and tapping in the room. "Wait for me, I'll brush my teeth and find you in the restaurant." Jumping out of bed, pulling open the gauze curtain abruptly, exhaling a foul breath. The sky is as blue as washing. I quickly washed my face, put on a little concealer, my fair face looked like I had no makeup, and I ran downstairs with my hair casually tied up.Even though you don't wear makeup to look good, but you can get closer if you let go of your defenses, right? Zhang Xiaoman, why are you so smart? Teng Zhen looked at me with a smile, I pretended not to see, and sipped the porridge with a low eyebrow. "Do you still remember, yesterday, I sent you to the door of the room, and you were drunk, and kept holding me to prevent me from leaving." Ah... huh? "You seem to have something to say, but you couldn't say it after holding back for a long time, which made me very nervous." The calmness on my face couldn't be stretched for a moment.I'm an alcoholic, but I'm usually very controlled and rarely get really drunk. Because I hate fragments.I've had enough fragments of my own life. "What did I say?" Teng Zhen looked at me tenderly for a long time, and finally couldn't hold back any longer, his eyebrows and eyes curled up in a smile: "You said to me fiercely, 'Why didn't you remind me to take off my makeup!'" I was taken aback. "Otherwise, what do you think you said?" He smirked and looked at me provocatively. Oh, I was molested, really. I glared at him, my face was normal, the girl in my heart had already cupped her face and began to giggle coyly. All the painstaking efforts, every step of the way, is ultimately to step into the boundless simplicity and innocence. Of course, Lao He scoffed at this. "You don't understand," I said as I peeled an orange with my bare hands in her office, "to maintain the emotional intelligence of an adult, and to yearn for a pure love in my heart, there is no contradiction at all. Does shyness mean that you have to fall flat like the heroine of an idol drama? That is Cerebellar atrophy. Appropriate use of some scheming methods does not mean that you are not devoted. I also acted the heroine and wrote the script. I always have to consider the sense of rhythm!" Lao He laughed so hard that her back molars were almost exposed. The assistant knocked on the door and came in to deliver the contract. Then she put away her smile and gave me sideways glances several times while signing. "Sense of rhythm? Just your sense of rhythm beating your waist?" I am speechless. At any rate, I started my own business, and I worked hard. I always take economy class for short trips that don’t need to be pretentious. This reception invitation originally booked economy class for us little people. In order to be on the same flight as Teng Zhen, I gritted my teeth and silently After paying for an upgrade, I pretended to be dozing off as soon as the plane took off, tilting my head, trying to put it on his shoulder. Who would have expected that the armrest in the middle of the first-class seat is too fucking wide!In the past, there was always an old man in the economy class who would easily fall on me, but this time it was my turn to fall weakly, with my waist directly on the armrest, root!Book!crooked!No!Pass!go! I rubbed my left waist, feeling terrified. "Then he offered to lend you his arm?" "I don't know if he noticed it. Anyway, he quickly gave way to me, and his shoulders moved over. Otherwise, two of my ribs would be broken once the plane landed." "Did the show fail? He must have seen it." "Acting is for the other party to see it. If he can't see it, he's blind." I raised my face, and I knew I was laughing without looking in the mirror. "Isn't this better, so I don't have to say it myself." "What does it look like?" Old He was finally curious. Teng Zhen's WeChat circle of friends rarely updates, occasionally sharing some industry news, and never sharing his own.I dug out one from my photo album, and on the cruise ship, I secretly took a photo of him between two waiters. Lao He took the phone, stared at this person for a long time, zoomed in again, and returned it to me calmly. "It's okay, it looks good." I looked at Lao He.If it weren't for knowing her well, I would have suspected that she was some of Teng Zhen's ex-girlfriends. He has been in sales for more than ten years, started from scratch, never changed his face when Mount Tai collapsed in front of him, and Lao He, who has seen all kinds of storms, is very wrong now. Her assistant came in again to deliver the report, and I pulled out a Kleenex and put the peeled orange in front of her. I'm not that virtuous, and I planned to eat by myself, but I couldn't sit still for some reason.I said you were busy and I left. Her assistant trotted out first, and Lao He stopped me. He really wanted to say something, hesitated a few times, and finally asked me very Qiongyao: "Zhang Xiaoman, are you happy?" "Are you sick?" I was surprised. "You're the one who is sick!" Lao He interrupted me violently, but he didn't continue talking. He paced around the room for a long time, forgetting to light a cigarette. What's up with her?Cancer orphans?Have a crush on me?Didn't realize she likes women. "What's wrong with me?" I was also upset. "Forget it. It's okay. You can go." She sat on the sofa alone and finally lit the cigarette, her eyes were a little red. ...Do I really like me? I wanted to make a cheeky joke, but the whale in my memory jumped out of the sea again, taking my language with me. I have known Lao He for nearly ten years, and my memory has not been very good, so that I am a little confused about the exact year. I took a year off from high school, moved to my third year of high school, and got admitted to a good university, but my major was the library major that was transferred.However, I have never studied hard, and I have been focused on making money, just like meeting Teng Zhen, I have a bit of inexplicable intuition. It can also be said to be crazy. Fortunately, my mother does not stay at home all year round, and my father is a prematurely aging man who can be fooled by TV shopping. The actual control of our family has long been transferred to my hands. I'm not an economically minded person, so I didn't ruin my family, partly because of good luck, partly because of Lao He. When I first met Lao He, it was also the first time I was fighting with my wealth and life.Not many people knew about the corner of the commercial and residential buildings. The rich secretly bought them one by one, and only a few were left for sale. The two of us coincidentally went to the same real estate sales office. From the first glance, I felt strongly that she hated me very, very much.I thought it was just a house, as for it.But later, the sales representative suddenly told me that that Ms. He gave up and said I would give it to you. I was a little afraid to buy it at that time, there must be fraud in it. Those two houses made me know for the first time what it's like to double your money.Later, I saw her again at a New Year's Eve event in Shanghai. No matter what she thought, I hugged her affectionately when I was a little drunk, thanked her ancestors for eight generations, and almost rebuilt her house. A ancestral hall. Old He was awkward, didn't respond to my enthusiasm, and left the party early.But then, she began to reveal some rumors intentionally or unintentionally, such as buying a house or land: starting a business and investing in shares, as small as a certain wealth management product with a high and reliable rate of return. Although the minimum deposit is 1 million, if you really don’t have enough money, you can take it. Come over with my... I'm not very ambitious.She worked very hard, so I followed her to pick up meat scraps to eat. At the age of thirty, I became a fake "famous painter" with a small fortune, but she was still fighting in the business world.I think she is really afraid of poverty. When I was a child, I watched her mother make matchboxes to subsidize the family day and night at home every day. The psychological shadow was too deep. But she doesn't admit it herself.She said that she should have been better, but she had no ability, so she had to work hard to reach this level, which really failed her. I don't know who she failed, so that she couldn't get out after all these years.But that was her private life, and even the experience of making matchboxes was something she told herself after drinking too much. The only thing I ever asked her was why she took care of me in the first place. Of course, this kind of thing is very nasty to ask directly. I also took advantage of the fact that both of us had drunk some wine, and joked that I really liked me. I didn’t expect to cause her a storm The ridicule and attack made me stupid. We had known each other for five or six years at that time.I took her as my best friend, but found that she might still hate me just the same.Who has no temper, I dropped the glass, and overturned her newly bought wooden table—as soon as people have some money in their pockets, they start pretending to play with these beads, wood and stones, who cares what it is— —and gone. Afterwards, no one mentioned this matter again. She still wanted to give me something good, and she still wanted to take me with her if she had a chance to make money.I'm not a person without backbone and principle-don't be white or right. What do you want to do so much, and you are not a high school student anymore, do you still need to submit a certificate to make friends? What a complex animal man is. I made an appointment with Teng Zhen tonight. Since its establishment, the "We" Art Museum is the first time to hold art activities in a serious manner.The theme and time of the exhibition were decided by Mr. He, and it was called "IF". I have always known that Lao He’s tough heart is filled with the tenderness of the 1990s. In order to keep pace with the times, he reluctantly added some fashion elements, such as adding an IF after the word if, is it stupid? Because Lao He attaches great importance to it, we have been preparing for this exhibition for a long time, and almost everyone I know participated, including Xiao Ye and Old Man Gao.When they were first invited to participate, everyone refused to say that they couldn’t paint, until I put the two works of “Night Crow” and “Night Sea” in front of them, and everyone expressed that they could not let a scum like me dominate the Chinese painting circle , must personally turn the tide. We specially ordered a batch of small glass boxes in advance, and put them under each painting, with pencils and paper cards next to them. We hope that when visitors see the works that touch them, they can write down their understanding or thoughts by hand. Say something to the author, put it in the box. The event had been previewed on the Internet and mobile platforms before, and some media also came to the scene. The bastard, the honorary curator and well-known entrepreneur, Lao He, was really absent, so I had to take the stage temporarily to give an opening speech. With no practical meaning, he walked off the stage amidst applause, and gently stood beside Teng Zhen. He looks very good today, looking at me with smiling eyes.The only real smiles I had on stage were directed at him. Everyone began to watch the exhibition freely, and I accepted a brief interview, finally completely relaxed, and began to look for Teng Zhen among the crowd.He took off his suit jacket, put it on his back with one hand, and looked up at a painting intently. The silhouette of the white shirt under the light made me stunned for a long time. Teng Zhen's father recovered from illness, and his half-vacation telework is about to end, and he will return to Beijing to work tomorrow. For my birthday, he took me to eat wonton, which he loved most when I was a child. He just smiled and didn’t deny it when he was teased by the boss’s wife. He went to the playground with me. Because I went to Shanghai to attend the reception, he applied to the company for a business trip, and deliberately borrowed his shoulder. Give me a pillow, when I drink too much, gently hold me in my arms... But he's leaving tomorrow, and he hasn't told me anything. "Are you looking at this painting?" I walked over, "This painting should be painted by Old Man Gao." "The interview is over? It was great on stage." I'm a little frustrated.I hope he teases me like he did that morning in Shanghai.I know that the real him must not be like this, and I don't care if others politely tell me that he is doing well. I turned my face away: "Then do you like it?" "what?" After a few seconds of silence, I grinned at Old Man Gao's painting and said, "This one, do you like it?" He visibly relaxed: "Very good. This painting..." "what about me?" In the soothing background sound, my question is very light. "I, do you like it?" Fujima looked at me for a long, long time.I'm not looking forward to hearing his answer. "Look for yourself, I'll go shopping." I put on my coat and squeezed past him. Every painting is hung up by myself. Lao He promised to join in the show, and now even people with paintings have let me go. Xiaoye, who is 1.5 meters tall, has a baby voice, and a small round face. She is always jumping around on weekdays. She likes to wear loli dresses and take selfies and live broadcasts on the Internet, which fascinates a group of homeboys.But I can't understand her drawing—a crooked doll, leaning against the wall, with a thin black thread sewn into its mouth. The moment I opened the picture scroll, I wanted to tease her about whether she was going to go the gothic lolita route, but when I stared at the sad eyes of the doll, I closed my mouth wisely. I can understand old man Gao’s paintings, everyone who has been to his tavern has heard him nagging too many times, “If I hadn’t got too hot-headed, I ran off with a foreign girl on a boat and got dumped, I would be so awesome now Ah" story. So he drew a burning ship.On the lower right is a yellow sandy beach, in the middle is a dark blue sea, and above the sea is a light blue sky.The boat was on the edge of the sand, covered in shoddy red flames, and it was the sun that attracted me. The sun is entrenched in the upper left corner of the paper, only a quarter of a circle is exposed, and a few short lines beside it represent "light". Forty-seven-year-old Gao, still like a kindergarten kid, draws the sun in the upper left corner of the paper. I walked slowly and re-read all the paintings on the whole floor. Many visitors were seriously writing their impressions, and I was a little envious. The word "if" can imagine the future or regret the past.Why does every author choose to describe past regrets? "Why don't you draw yourself?" Teng Zhen came to my side and asked me in the same very soft voice.But I know it's not a casual chitchat. "I've thought about drawing something," I answered him earnestly, "but I can't think of anything that I regret or regret." "None?" "None." He suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.I finally saw Teng Zhen's truest eyes. Every centimeter, every inch, is disgust for me. "None?" I opened his hand and took a step back: "No!" He put his hands back in his pockets and looked at me coldly and arrogantly: "Stop imitating her. You are disgusting."