Chapter 19 Chapter Nineteen

One morning when it was starting to get cold, my father rarely took the initiative to call. "Yesterday, I said goodbye to my grandma, and I told her I couldn't see her anymore." "Oh……" I really want to say a few sweet words to express my feelings, but I know my father will not like it. "I'm getting weak, and I want to see you one last time, and I have something to say." "Ok." "Today's weather forecast says it will rain after noon. Your store should be relatively quiet, can you come over?" "I see." "Did you tell Yohei?"

"I've said everything in the notes and what Dad told me." "when?" "It's been a long time, about two months. That kid is very smart, and he seems to have imagined it a long time ago, so he wasn't very surprised to hear it." "Really? He didn't show any traces in front of me. It seems that Yohei has his own way. However, that's good. Grandma's life should not be many, and only the two of you will be related by blood in the future. Everything will be fine." It will be better if we understand each other and then work together.”

"You don't have to worry about me and Yangping, we're fine." "I don't worry about it. In short, you bring that kid, and come together in the afternoon. I'll wait for you." To put it strangely, as the sick body weakened day by day, the traits in the father's body seemed to become more and more concentrated, and they were strongly expressed on the face.Stubborn, childish, somewhat mad scientist out of touch with reality, uniquely gentle... The thin father had a kind of majesty of his own. Although I still can't figure out what he is thinking, at least I can be sure that he is not afraid of death.

Hearing that he wanted to see us for the last time, Yohei and I were very nervous.We sat around the kitchen table, the beer was empty, and the plate of fish and sausages was barely touched. Only the father was more cheerful than he had ever seen before. "Misako is here." Father said with a face of course. I'm not sure which mother he is referring to by Misako, but I don't know if it's because of illness or taking medicine. In short, I think my father is getting out of tune mentally.Yohei was also surprised. But my father ignored our reactions, stopping to rest and catch his breath, and began to talk about things we hadn't even dreamed of.

I told Ryosuke about Misako before, but that's not all. I can't decide if I should say the rest.To be honest, I'm still a little undecided.But it’s fine if you don’t know about it from the beginning, but since you’ve already learned about it, it seems a bit arrogant to hide it now.Besides, I'm going to die soon, and I don't bother to think about it anymore. Ryosuke and Yohei, I hope you take this as my last words and listen carefully. As I said just now, Misako was here yesterday.Yes, the woman who wrote that note, the biological mother who gave birth to Ryosuke. As early as a few years ago, we met from time to time.I will not argue.I... just couldn't help it.

Knowing that my days are numbered, Misako proposed to go on a trip together as a last memory.That's what I'm looking forward to, but I'm asking her to wait for me until tomorrow because I need a little time to talk to you guys. Don't worry, if you don't say it in order, how will you understand?If you want to see her, she will come again later, if you want to see her, you will naturally see her.Of course, there is no need to force a meeting.Forget it, Ryosuke, even if you hear about it today, it is impossible to be mentally prepared within today. By the way, I want to declare first that I gave her the notebook, hair and handbag yesterday, and asked her to dispose of it, that would be the best.After all, there should be no trace left.Even if I wanted to burn it myself, there is no place to burn it in this house.

It was a long time ago, and she suddenly appeared in front of me.When I was going home from get off work, she called me to stop me at the ticket gate. I wholeheartedly thought she had been dead for more than ten years.I want to make sure it's not my hallucination, standing in the crowd.I couldn't help but reach out and touch her cheek lightly.With such a touch, in my heart, ten years disappeared without a trace. I knew at a glance that she was suffering.Her expression was completely different. She used to give people the impression that she was always a little unpredictable, but now she was a little aggressive and refined.It might be a bit strange to describe a woman's face as slender.The fact that there are rarely smiling faces is the same as before, but when she smiles, it is like heartfelt joy. I have never seen her like that.

We talked as we strolled around the station. I asked her right away how she found out my whereabouts. According to her, she already knew that her family was in Komagawa, so she guessed that I should catch or change trains at Komagawa Station for work, so that morning, I stayed at the station all the time. When she really found me, she wanted to leave just like that, but she couldn't help but follow me handsomely, watching me get off at this stop.After that, she wandered the streets hesitantly again, and finally returned to the station in the evening. Where did Misako herself live, and how did she know that I was in Komagawa? I tried to ask these questions, but she just refused to answer, and just asked about everything about her family.

I'm mainly talking about Ryosuke who is already in middle school.There was also the fact that Ryosuke had gained a younger brother, Yohei, as well as Hideko, and his grandparents who were still alive at the time. We chatted and chatted selflessly, only to realize that time was passing by. Really weird when you think about it.It was obvious that the whole family colluded to turn her into a dead person.In addition, her own younger sister Yingshizi also transformed into her, and gave birth to Yohei with me.But at that time, neither she nor I felt any unnaturalness. Misako showed a smile that could even be described as ecstatic, and listened intently to my narration with tears in her eyes.I knew she really wanted to know, so I told her too.

When it finally came to an end, this time I asked about Misako's experiences over the years.In other words, what exactly happened to her after she was driven away by her parents. For my ignorance, she showed a slightly surprised expression, but she told me anyway.The content was horrifying, but she said it calmly as if she was just giving a report on the current situation. She said she thought she would be swallowed by the well.Do you remember, didn't that note be mentioned again and again?The ancient well in the courtyard of the dead Xiaoman's child's home.She thought she would be tied hands and feet and sink to the bottom of the reservoir lake, and finally was caught by the dark well of death and dragged into the endless abyss.In order to ease the pain, her parents-in-law made her take a large amount of sleeping pills.So she was probably out of her mind at the time.

She said she was terrified.After that, I feel nothing, no self anymore. Anyway, she was dead at the time, she said she clearly felt so. When she recovered, she was lying in an unknown place.Maybe it was night, and it was dark all around.Feeling empty in her heart, she was still bound and unable to move her hands and feet. A voice sounded: "Don't look back, listen to me quietly." It was a husky male voice, but she thought it was mine.She was convinced that I must have jumped into the dark well and rescued her so hard, that's why my voice became so hoarse. It's a pity that it wasn't me, and I can't ask the person concerned to verify it now, but I think it must be the father-in-law, and there can be no one else, and the mother-in-law should also know.They had already thrown her into the water, but the two still couldn't just watch their daughter die. "With a sinner like you, everyone around you will become very unfortunate. If you think about the future of your child, don't get involved with your family from now on. From now on, you can live as someone else. From now on, you can only I want to make amends." The voice said so to her.The empty heart that just woke up fell heavily because of these words. The owner of the voice loosened the ropes on her hands and feet before leaving.After a while, she untied it herself, got up and started walking.The shoes she used to wear were neatly placed beside her. She faltered, stopping every few steps to rest.His clothes were still wet and very cold.In the pocket of the wet suit was a wad of 10,000-yen bills and a sketch map of the city from here. She was exhausted in the middle of the walk that night, and fell asleep in the grass by the roadside.The next day when she finally reached the city, the first thing she did was to take the tram as far as possible. She had no destination, just changed trains repeatedly, and finally got off at a deserted little station she had never heard of.It was already evening. She called home from the pay phone in front of the station.Although the owner of that voice, Misako, identified it as my voice, and even though I banned it, she still couldn't help but wonder how Ryosuke's condition was when he was transferred to Tokyo Hospital.Before incarnating into someone else, there was only one thing she had to do.Because she hadn't even had a chance to meet Ryosuke since the night she started working. The person who answered the phone was my mother-in-law.After she murmured out a word of Misako, she fell into difficulty breathing.But she pulled herself together immediately and answered her question quickly.Don't worry about Ryosuke. Although he will have to be hospitalized for a while, his condition is not serious, so he is very happy in the ward... The mother-in-law burst into tears halfway through her speech, but she seemed to be afraid of being heard by her father-in-law, so she kept her voice low. The place name Komagawa was mentioned by my mother-in-law at the right time. The mother-in-law first stated that if the father-in-law knew that she had leaked it, he would definitely be furious, and then told her.In a few days, I will move to Komagawa City with Emiko, where Ryosuke will grow up well.So don't worry, you have to live.If you think about Ryosuke's happiness, you must never get close to your family, and you must not break the precept no matter what.However, I am still praying, I have been praying; I hope that under the arrangement of God, even if it is just a glance, I can see each other again. It is said that the mother-in-law said so while crying. — Fragmented, right?But she is Misako's mother after all, and she must still feel sorry for her daughter who has to hide from the eyes of the world. Although your grandmother is so confused that she can't even tell Misako from Hideko, she still seems to have a vague memory of having severely punished her daughter.I can understand that I still suffer from it even after it has become that way. Let's get off topic, anyway, after that phone call, Misako faithfully obeyed the voice owner's orders. She had more or less guessed that since the family of five was going to start again in a new place, her younger sister Hideko would naturally become Ryosuke's mother, that is, my wife, and she also thought that would be the best for Ryosuke. No matter what, I am the one who shouldn't appear.No, not even a person, but a dead person awakened by chance.She took that to heart. "With a sinner like you, everyone around will become unhappy." Misako thought of this sentence said by the master of the voice again and again. Now I have neither the time nor the energy to explain in detail how she survived. In short, she wandered to the hot spring street in the northeast and lived in a hotel as a waitress for a long time.She got a lot of enthusiastic help from others there. However, she has no household registration and resident certificate, and cannot take a driver's license and license test. It is impossible to find a stable formal job.Such a life cannot be without hardship.But since Misako escaped from the Well of Darkness, he has nothing to fear from Dongbing who was afraid in the past.As a dead person, I don't take hard work as hard work, even if I no longer have the heart of lily, I don't care at all.That's what she said. I find it strange that the person in front of me is Misako and not Misako, and I meet a new Misako again. You should also be able to imagine the result later. I'm sorry to say you dead mothers, but I never forgot Misako for a moment.I also know that your mother has already noticed it and is suffering from it, but there is nothing I can do about it.Alas, people are really helpless creatures. Presumably Misako is too. Although she tried her best to say that she didn't take hard work as hard work, she must have said something, and she couldn't erase the emotion from the bottom of her heart.Three years, five years, ten years of living the famous life of a dead person, the emotion is getting stronger and stronger, and one day, it will finally be unbearable. Otherwise, how could she suddenly appear in front of me? However, whether she came to see me or inquire about Ryosuke's situation, she seemed to have the only one-time plan.I know very well that even this she considers unforgivable. After we wandered around for about two hours, when we walked to the front of the station some times, she said, "Then I'm leaving, and I'll say goodbye." Then she saluted and turned away decisively. About ten steps away, I called her to stop abruptly.I shouted her name with a loud voice that the passers-by around me looked at. Once a year is fine, I want to see you, I said.Every year, I will show you photos of Ryosuke and his family, and let you know how they are doing. She smiled and said, isn't that the same as Qixi Festival?So I said, "Then just agree to meet at this place at this station at five o'clock in the evening on July 7th. Once a year, there are only a few hours. Let us bear the sin of those hours together." She said that she hoped that I would not ask about her life even if we met, and I agreed. It was October, so the next Qixi Festival was less than a year away, which was the only consolation. Waiting is painful.On the other hand, knowing that what I thought was dead was alive gave me a taste of ecstatic happiness.Even if they are separated by two places, at least they are under the same sky.You guys know I'm a godless person, but I really want to thank someone for this. As agreed, I bring home photos every year. On weekdays, my mind is full of thoughts about what to say to her next time I meet, but when it comes time to meet, I forget all those thoughts and just talk about boring nonsense. Time is limited, but sometimes we just look at the night scene side by side and keep silent for a long time. I kept my word and never asked Misako where she lived and what she was doing.Her status does not allow her to choose a career, and I know she must have had a hard time.As long as I know something inside, I can't help but reach out to help her.She probably just wanted to avoid this situation.Because we both know that just seeing each other is a serious betrayal. You may be misunderstood, but we have no physical relationship.She always stated repeatedly that she hoped that I would treat it as meeting a ghost. The only time I touched her was when she first appeared, and I suspected it was a hallucination, so I touched her cheek. ——Even so, after all, it is still tantamount to betraying your mother. As I said just now, she knows that I have never forgotten Misako.Even if I don't say anything, as long as I stay by my side, it seems that I will feel my thoughts naturally.This pained her a lot too, but what really pained her was another thing. In that case, the whole family decided not to let Misako live, but your mother always thinks that the proposer is herself.And she always suspected that she would say that kind of proposal because she fell in love with me, and she had long regarded her sister Misako as a stumbling block in her heart. I think I respect your mother a lot.As a husband, I tried to love her as much as I could, but it was not enough to relieve her pain. You should understand after reading the notes, Ryosuke.For women other than Misako, I can no longer treat them the same way I treat Misako.How should I put it?To me, Misako is more than just a woman.So it doesn't matter whether they go to bed or not, whether they are married or not. Father stopped here, and when he didn't know how many times he looked at the clock on the cabinet, there was the sound of someone opening the sliding door of the entrance. Yohei jerked violently in his chair. There was a gentle gleam in his father's eyes, but he resumed his narrative as if nothing had happened. The last time we saw each other was this year's Qixi Festival, just a few months ago.At that time, I told her that your mother died, and my body was like this again. I knew there would be no Qixi Festival next year. She is calm. When your mother was still alive, didn't you eat crabs together?It was the day Ryosuke brought Chie here for the first time, and paid for the treat.I took the photo of that time with me, and she stared at the photo silently for a long time. The area around the entrance was silent, and the visitor didn't make a sound, as if they were waiting patiently. My throat was parched like a fire. There was a beer glass on the table in front of me, but I couldn't pick it up and drink it. Since then, I've expected this to be the end.Misako came to pick me up and we went on a trip together. I've been looking forward to it ever since. Ryosuke, Misako is already here.If you don't want to see her, I will take her to another place first, you and Yangping can go together during this period. Although it is a trip, she will take me there in a car, so my health is fine.But she couldn't get a driver's license, so she was driving without a license.Don't worry, she seems to do this all the time, nothing will happen. Okay, Ryosuke, what's your decision? I got up from my chair and staggered out into the hallway. I saw that person standing quietly at the position of stepping one step towards the entrance, with her back facing the frosted glass of the sliding door, a black outline was outlined in the backlight. But I immediately recognized the identity of the other party.Halfway through my father's talk, I couldn't hold back my doubts. This person has been by my side from the very beginning, quietly supporting me through my most difficult times. "Shop Manager, I'm here to pick up your father." Miss Hosoya spoke in her usual voice, bowing her head slightly in salute. I couldn't answer, I just stood there staring at Miss Hosoya like an idiot. Yohei came out of the kitchen, silently put his hand on my shoulder, and we faced Miss Hosoya side by side. I thought in my heart that my younger brother probably doesn't know such insignificant things as Miss Hosoya, and then I changed my mind, no, wait a minute, last time I showed him the photos I took with my mobile phone. At some point, my father also came to me and grabbed my other shoulder. "You're taken aback, Ryosuke." Suddenly, realizing something froze my mind.When I showed Yohei the photo that time, my mother who passed away was also there.She also looked at Miss Hosoya's photo together... "Dad, me, the photo...Mom, Mom, she...read the photo..." "Yes, the photo of the spring free trial event held in your store seems to have captured Misako, right? I heard from your mother. I didn't know it beforehand, so I was shocked, but Misako and I Misako mentioned that you were going to open some weird coffee shop.——Your mother said she recognized it immediately. Although Misako's appearance has changed a lot, and she still wears glasses like this, she immediately recognized it. I recognized it, it must be because she always misses her sister in her heart." My mom and brother couldn't come to my shop due to animal hair allergies, so I showed them pictures on a whim.At that time, I took a lot of pictures, but only one of Ms. Hosoya was taken, and it was from the side.This is obviously very strange, but I pointed to the photo and said to the two of them.You see, this person is the Miss Hosoya I often refer to. "It's because of this, so...Mom, I was so...scared before the car accident..." "Afraid? Then you are wrong. Eiko, your mother, told me that she was relieved from the bottom of her heart. She seemed really happy. To know that the sister who thought she was killed by herself is still alive , other things didn't seem to matter to her at all. That's right, since that day, has the tension in her heart relaxed? She did become often in a daze. It was the same when the car accident happened that day, before the green light came on, she Walking lightly..." In the narrow corridor in front of the kitchen, my father, my brother and I stood stiffly, staring at Miss Hosoya for a long time.Hosoya-san was also staring at us. Finally, my father let go of my shoulders and took a step. "Okay, it's time for me to go. Say hello to Chie and Miyuki for me. The passbook and the certificate of ownership of the house are all placed in the small cabinet in the living room. I will leave the small things to you. After you brothers discuss it, you will Decide." Yohei and I followed my father like two somnambulists. Her father sat on the porch steps, tying the laces of her accustomed shoes.When he was about to get up, Miss Hosoya stretched out her hands, he touched those hands lightly with some hesitation, then held them, and then gave the other the weight of his whole body to stand up. "what's the weather like?" "The rain will stop for a while, but it's not bad for a ride on this kind of day." "Yes. I also feel that my body is in good condition today." They looked at each other and smiled.Later, I thought again and again of the innocent faces of the two, as if they were about to go hiking. Miss Hosoya supported her father and turned her face to me. "I'm really sorry that I didn't discuss it with the store manager. Just transfer the car in the store to me. I have already handed over the money to Chie along with the letter of resignation." "Resignation? However, this is too sudden, and I will be very embarrassed." I still can't change the attitude of the store manager that I was used to in the past. "It's all right now. Please work hard with Chie." Mother and Miss Hosoya, even at this point, still can't successfully merge into one. At a loss, I stared intently at the familiar face in front of me.As if as long as you keep staring, sooner or later another face will emerge.But no matter how much I looked at her, she was still the same Ms. Hosoya with a calm expression and a calm demeanor. "Okay, please open the door." I obediently walked down and took off my shoes, and reached out to pull the entrance door. Hosoya-san left her father for a while and came to my side, whispering to me quickly. "Don't worry about Chie's negatives, I've already brought them all back and disposed of them." It happened in an instant.At that moment, I once again clearly saw the blood splashed on the car window glass that I had seen, and even accumulated on the floor mats under the car. Was it Ms. Hosoya?Is that right?When I blurted out that I wanted to kill him without thinking, Miss Hosoya stared at me indifferently.The voice that sternly advised me not to have that kind of thought. Is it because you guessed that I would kill someone, and you did it yourself to stop me?Or, was she going to kill Shiomi no matter what? She said that Shi Jian's designated money delivery representative is she and not me, is that true?Or, was it a lie she lied out of desperation to keep me from getting close to Shionian? Anyway, since she said that the negatives have been disposed of, the only possibility is that she killed Shiomi.The appointment time she told me was obviously fake.After putting Chie to sleep, Ms. Hosoya went to the observatory at the real time requested by Shiomi.Then, when it was all over, it led me there. Before Miss Hosoya reached out to support her father again, she took off her glasses and put them in her purse.When alone with her father, no, she probably doesn't wear glasses at all except when she's working in the shop. My father and Miss Hosoya walked past me as if they were about to pass my nose.Yang Ping stopped beside me, and when I saw him, he was sobbing silently. Next to the door, the car in the store was parked in the drizzle.The body is painted with red, black, and yellow paint, with Mao Maotou's familiar logo. She didn't have a driver's license, and of course she couldn't rent or buy a car.For Ms. Hosoya, there is only this car in the shop.So that night, she probably also drove this car there. Where did the dead body that Shio saw go?Usually the cart should be stacked with combination carts for transporting large dogs.Even women can still move things with a certain weight as long as they use the cart.Rather than covering up the crime, she probably transported the corpse somewhere so that I wouldn't see it.In order to make me feel at ease knowing that Shiomi is dead, she may think that it is enough to leave a bloody car at the scene.Besides, it's either the car she saw or the car in the store, in short, she can only keep one car now. "What, Yangping, are you crying again?" Dad turned around beside the car and smiled. "That's right, it's like this...it's really weird, you don't even bring your luggage." The younger brother spoke for the first time. "Yohei, don't worry." Miss Hosoya reassured him, "Food, drink, warm clothes, and even memories of your dead mother are already prepared in the car." "Haha, indeed, the biggest piece of luggage may be the memories of those people I care about the most. Only this can't be lost even if I want to, and I can only take it with me forever." Did she bury the body somewhere deep in the mountains?Or go straight home once, and during the three-day vacation, dispose of the body in a more thoughtful way that will never be discovered by anyone? I am afraid I will never be able to ask this question. Miss Hosoya opened the door of the passenger seat, and her father barely got in with difficulty. I grabbed my younger brother who wanted to run over to keep him.What else can I do? "Then let's go, manager, and Yang Ping too, please take care." For this person, there should be words that I will never get back if I don't say them now, but I just can't think of a word.I just stared at her fiercely, trying to convey my thoughts with my eyes, and Miss Hosoya smiled suddenly. Then suddenly, from the person whose hair was wet with cold rain, the figure of the imaginary mother, a young mother wearing a sleeveless summer dress and holding a white handbag, slowly appeared, which made my heart tense. My, lovely Ryosuke... The mother's face, which was still elusive until yesterday and was just a ghost, now formed a vivid image for the first time, and emerged a gentle smile that enveloped my whole being.I held my breath with my mouth half open, and looked back at that face without blinking. Then Miss Hosoya got into the driver's seat with smooth movements, and closed the door. "Then I'm leaving, you two have to take care of grandma." After my father said that last sentence, he looked at Yohei and me alternately for a while again.But he suddenly looked away and slammed the car door. This is saying goodbye to my father. The window was still open, but at that moment it seemed that my father had severed all ties.Cut off the last bit of reluctance to live, cut off the nostalgia for the place where we have lived for many years, and even cut off the affection for us. In a space where there is no other space except their memories and the two, my father once again became Miss Hosoya's, mother's, you. "Okay, where are we going?" "Go anywhere, go where you want to go." When the car window was closed with a low voice, my father didn't look back at us. "Alright, then..." I didn't hear the second half of the sentence.On the other side of the tightly closed car window, I saw the two happily looking at each other and nodding their heads. The car drove away in the dust, emitting white exhaust fumes in the rain.It drifted away along the alleys of the residential area, before turning and disappearing not far ahead in less than ten seconds. My brother was crying so emotionally that I put an arm around his back.We leaned shoulder to shoulder and stared at the wet asphalt on the deserted road.