Chapter 18 Chapter Eighteen

Sometimes I'm very concerned about negatives that I didn't get back from Shiomi.I'm afraid that Chie's defenseless posture will be casually put on the Internet by people who don't know the importance. Miss Hosoya must have thought the same, but we didn't talk about it. Ever since Chie said those strange words, I can no longer maintain the usual attitude towards Ms. Hosoya.Occasionally we were left alone, and even though I thought it was ridiculous, I would pretend to have something important to do and leave in a hurry. I don't know if Ms. Hosoya noticed my unnaturalness, but she concentrated on her work calmly.

After the Bana Festival in autumn, there are still several hot days like hot summer. Even on that day, the dogs in the wild area were running around quite lively and drinking water from the watering area.For them, thirty degrees in autumn is probably much cooler than thirty degrees in summer. Perhaps it was because of the sickness in the family that I felt merciless cruelty to the gradual change of the seasons from day to day.Just as I cannot prevent the deepening of autumn, I cannot prevent the weakening of the sick.Thinking of the red leaves this autumn, which will be the last that my father will see, I have to feel flustered.

Now that Chie has returned to the store, I can withdraw from work more freely, so I want to see my father every day. However, as the disease got worse, my father became more and more stubborn. He thought it was annoying for us to go back to see him too often.He told us not to treat him as a patient, but he was obviously too weak to open the top of a jam jar. After the younger brother unscrewed the lid of the jam jar effortlessly, he couldn't help crying on the spot.My father has switched to spreads since he got sick of the cream, and in the three days before we came on our own, it is said that he ate white toast with nothing on for breakfast.

"Don't cry." Father smiled kindly, stroked Yohei's head lying on the table, and ruffled his soft hair. "Although the body is tattered, it doesn't hurt anywhere. It's incredible. I even wonder if I can really die so easily? So don't worry, don't make a fuss about me." Father was silent for a while, and kept stroking Yohei's hair with his fingertips, twisting the ends of the hair into small triangles.Then he rubbed them back together and said to me: "Since you have time to come to my place, why don't you go to see grandma, I'm gradually unable to go. I didn't leave any property to you, and I'm sorry for leaving my sick grandma to you to take care of, but you must be filial to her .”

How my father will take his last breath, I can't imagine at all. If he continues to resist hospitalization like this, he should welcome that moment at home, but he doesn’t know that as that day approaches, we will notice the signs of the day’s arrival, or it will come suddenly without even having a chance to say goodbye. I only hope that he will not die alone, that is our last wish. After leaving my hometown that day, I invited my brother to dinner. Even when he was offered steak, my brother was not as energetic as he used to be.With few words, we confirmed to each other the reality that we had to be prepared.

Afterwards, I told Yohei everything I had heard from my father about my mother, Misako. I was the one who mentioned the notes to Yohei who didn't know, and even let him read some of them.It would be unfair to just involve him and not tell him the result. Besides, my brother already guessed that we might actually be cousins.When sending my father away in the future, I don't want each other to have knots in their hearts. "It seems that you are not surprised." I said this to Yohei, who remained expressionless after listening to the narration. "Of course I was surprised. Although I have imagined it, I always thought it was impossible."

"So what do you think?" "It's a history of family love, without any hate." I didn't understand, but I didn't ask too much. There is no such thing as hating anyone.Even when he attacked his mother, while letting her atone for her sins, it was also to save the mother herself.That's probably what my brother was talking about. "It's very kind of you to tell me now, Xiaoliang." I was a little relieved, hummed, and nodded. Ever since my father told us to visit grandma instead of going back to see him, Yohei and I tried to go to grandma's place more often than before.

Grandma can no longer tell us brothers apart, and she doesn't even know that we are her grandchildren. However, it seems that she is very happy to have young people who are willing to take care of her. From time to time, she opens her toothless mouth and shows an innocent smile like a little girl. Unlike in the past when the father gave full power to her, now we are serious about even feeding her a meal. After repeated trial and error, I finally found that Yohei took the spoon to deliver the food to her mouth, and I wiped her dirty chin beside me. This kind of cooperation is the most efficient.If she manages to get the rhythm right, she can eat her dinner.

On the way, when the staff of the nursing home came to urge and inspect, the younger brother also criticized Tang Shao.He said that several spoons of different sizes and shapes should be prepared, and different spoons should be selected according to the shape of the food.The clerk just gave a vague and general response and left. In the hall of the nursing home, when there are singers coming to benefit or the mother's choir holding a concert, we also let my grandmother sit in a wheelchair and push her there. Among the gathered old people, some sang old songs that they missed in a low voice, and some beat the time with their hands. Grandma was also shaking on the chair like a head wearing a white cotton cap.

Everything that happened in the family, all the memories from the birth to the death of mother Misako, were all imprinted in that little head in the past.But now, grandma's heart is wandering in the hazy mist like an intangible shadow. Even so, she still stares timidly at the void from time to time, and cries for no reason, perhaps because there is a thorn of memory inserted somewhere in her consciousness that is on the verge of collapse, which makes her feel the sting from time to time.