Chapter 4 Chapter Four

"If it were me, I would have asked my father directly before thinking about it: I found such a notebook, what is it?" Yohei gulped down the food in his mouth along with the beer and said. Just tell my brother to treat him to a steak, and unless there is something really important, he will come to the appointment anytime and anywhere.Then, at the speed of a puppy, he wolfed down the blood-red steak that was almost raw. "Hey, I spent so much money, at least you can taste it a little bit before swallowing it." "Hey, this kind of meat sold in a place that barely counts as a family restaurant, if you taste it slowly, you won't be able to swallow it."

Sometimes I'd be tempted to throw this brother in the dog park and let him run with the dogs all day.But with the way this kid behaves, he might become the king of the wild area and rape the female bulldog. I think I have described it in as much detail as possible, including the details, but Yohei has never been too serious from the beginning, not only that, but even listened with obvious suspicion. But this may be because he hasn't seen the notebook with his own eyes, so he can't be blamed even if he doesn't respond after listening. "However, if you insist, Xiao Liang, it's not that I can't help. Most likely, when you read to the end, you will feel that you have made a false alarm for a long time."

Yohei nodded at me with an expression more like an older brother than a younger brother. The reason why I wanted to tell this arrogant younger brother is because if I want to keep reading that notebook without telling my father, I must have a trustworthy helper. I've figured out a way. It was my father's habit to report to the nursing home on the outskirts of Yamato Koriyama where my grandmother lived every Sunday afternoon.If you want to continue peeking at the notes, you can only go to Li Chuan at that time.Let the younger brother meet the father at the grandmother's side and make the visit as long as possible.When the return journey arrived, when he broke up with his father at the station, he called my cell phone to notify me.Just do it.

The next visit is the day after tomorrow.Sunday is the busiest time in the store, and disputes between dogs are also easy in the mixed wild area.But I can't take care of that much anymore.Yohei said he happened to be free that day, so I decided to take action on that day. "I'm sorry to drag you into strange things at a time like this." I don't look at Yohei to say that. "It's okay, just get along as usual." He may think he took it with ease, but to me it sounds a bit angry and unstable. Yohei, who cried like hell when his mother died, never said anything sentimental again, at least in front of me.

Regarding my father's illness, Yohei and I also had an unwritten tacit understanding, so we ignored it as if it hadn't happened.Since the doctor is helpless and can only do this, and we also have a naive wish, always feel that as long as we continue to ignore, maybe a miracle will happen. There were hiccups, but whenever we met, we always ate steak with a carefree smile. "I just want to know who wrote it. Since it's put there, after thinking about it, the only possibility is that it was written by Dad or Mom." "Where's the handwriting?" "Hmm...it doesn't look like anyone else. The font is as ugly as a schoolboy's."

"Ok……" After Yanghei finished eating, he stared at my plate unceremoniously. In desperation, I had to cut a large piece of the remaining half of the meat and give it to him.I was afraid that he would continue to ask for it from me, so I also speeded up my eating. "You think it's Dad? Dad is actually a devil who takes pleasure in killing people. Maybe he also killed the real mother you said before the transfer? Wow...it's so scary..." "I didn't say that..." I couldn't categorically deny it, so I had to drink flat beer to cover it up. During the period of reading the notes, that kind of thought has indeed been floating.Not only that, but an inexplicable suspicion even flashed in his consciousness: Was the death of his mother in a car accident two months ago also designed by his father?

It feels like the childhood memory of my mother being transferred, once awakened, it will linger in my heart with a vivid sense of reality.The former mother and the current mother, both of them must have been poisoned by the father, right? "I only thought of grandpa's death after you said that. It seems a little unnatural. If your imagination is correct, maybe it was Dad who did it." Yohei said strange words as if counting the timing, and my mind went blank for a moment.It seemed to be swallowed by the darkness of unknown origin. Grandpa died at three o'clock in our country.Is the so-called sudden death.He obviously did not have any serious diseases, and the cause of death was determined to be heart failure.At that time, he was lying under the kotatsu dozed off, and when his father tried to wake him up, he found that he was dead.

It was Sunday, only my father was at home, and my mother and grandmother took our brothers out shopping. "Hey, are you angry? Sorry, it's too much to joke about, isn't it." Yohei was taken aback by my expression, and after obediently apologizing, he changed the subject of the conversation calmly. "However, according to your mother's change of person, we will become half brothers." He tapped the tip of the fork at me and blinked, "I suddenly felt that this is not bad, very dramatic." I don't need him to say that, I've already thought about that.Looking at Yangping in front of me, I really didn't have that kind of personal experience, but I couldn't get up the energy to joke with him.

I don't look like my father or my mother, but Yohei's eyes and contours clearly resemble her mother's.Not only the facial features, but also the physique. Both of them are a little farsighted, and both are allergic to cat and dog hair. There are many things in common.I seem to be slowly paying attention to those facts now. "Then let me ask you, if it wasn't Dad, who would have written that kind of thing? Yangping, don't you think it was Mom who wrote it?" "Why not? Mom might really know how to write something like that." I was surprised and fell silent.

"Maybe it was written by her when she was young. She originally planned to submit it to a magazine. Mom loves to read books and has read a lot of novels... and how should I put it, she is a romanticist with a bit of fantasies." Fantasy?romanticism?Could there be such a big difference in our brothers' impression of our mother?I know that my mother often goes to the library to borrow books, but if it is just because of this, it is hard for me to imagine that the simple and gentle mother, who is like a model housewife, is a romantic and can even write novels. I wanted to ask further questions, but when we were talking about my mother like this, Yohei suddenly lowered his head and started blinking.The steak had already been eaten.

I rolled my eyes and agreed vaguely. "Ah... Just now, when I mentioned that Mom has fantasy, it reminded me of a strange thing." In order to hide the embarrassment of seeing tears in my eyes, Yohei deliberately said in a silly and optimistic voice. "What's up?" "nothing." "Hey, how naive are you? Since you want to say it, finish it." "You always misinterpret people right away, so I don't want to say it. Besides, you already misinterpret it now." I knew that if I took a positive approach, I would only make him sing the opposite, so in order to make things better, I brought the menu and asked him to choose dessert. After ordering, I calmly asked: "Yangping, don't you think it's a bit weird during the last days of Mom?" "Strange? What kind of weird method?" The voice of his question was very stiff, and the younger brother probably also sensed that something was wrong with his mother.I wait in silence. "But from what you said, she does seem a little gloomy. She would burst into tears halfway through the TV. I just called out to her, and she jumped up in fright." "Maybe, mother..." "How is she?" "Is she afraid of something?" "What are you afraid of?" "Well, I don't know... For example, Mom also found that notebook and read the contents." "Why do you sometimes take notes? You just want to bring the topic up there? You mean that mom read the notes and learned that her husband is a murderer, so she was very scared?" "You can't say 100% that it's absolutely impossible, can you?" "You are really abnormal. Of course Mom would be scared at that time. Think about it, she knew that Dad was going to leave soon. It's strange that she wasn't afraid." I didn't know how to refute, but Yohei was right.Not only that, I should have thought so at the time.I have even forgotten this kind of thing, which shows that my views may be ridiculous at all, and everything is just a delusion. "Sorry, you're right." This time I sincerely apologize. But at the same time, I always felt that the things in the eyes of my mother who walked alone with her head bowed on her father's sandals seemed to be completely different from that kind of fear.There seemed to be some kind of more sticky secret air... "Yangping, damn it, didn't you just halfway through what you said just now, please make it clear." "But that was so long ago that it doesn't matter at all." "It doesn't matter, you say." "...Didn't the two of us still sleep in the same room when grandpa was still alive? I think it should be a temporary thing in your country. I woke up in the middle of the night and opened my eyes slightly. So... just look at your face." "and then?" "Well, then, at that time, she seemed to be holding a pillow on her chest." "..." "Oh, look, you've misinterpreted it again, so I don't want to say it. I knew it would." "You mean Mom didn't mean to cover my face with a pillow?" "Does it need to be said? I was wondering why Mom was only looking at you, and then she pretended to be asleep, and then she quietly got up and walked out of the room. I thought it was weird, and then fell asleep again. So I just Because you said that Mom was dropped, I suddenly remembered." "Why is Mom hugging the pillow?" "I don't know, maybe I'm sleepy." "Think about it carefully, don't you think our family is a bit weird?" "What's the meaning?" "For example, Mom and Dad almost never interact with outsiders." The social distaste of the parents is not uncommonly serious, and they almost never even talk to their neighbors except for pleasantries. "Probably because of the love between husband and wife, as long as there is each other, they will be satisfied." Yang Ping said so.But then I remembered one thing. I haven't even forgotten that kind of trifle. "By the way, you should remember, right? When Dad bought you that microscope, I remember it was in middle school." One Sunday, when my father took us to the food street of Takashimaya Department Store in Namba for lunch, we were suddenly stopped by a strange man.Father bounced out of his chair. Later, from the conversation between the two, even I could hear that it was my father's colleague when he was working in Tokyo a long time ago.The man said in an excited tone that he himself also left his job to inherit the family business a few years ago. His hometown was originally in Osaka, and he was also running around on business today and Sunday.At the time of parting, he handed over his business card and invited his father to have a drink together some other day.The father said that he didn't have a business card with him, so the man took out his notepad and copied down the company name and phone number that his father had reported. My younger brother and I looked at each other in blank dismay, because the name of the company that my father reported was completely fabricated, and the phone number must also be fake.And when the younger brother I bought just now touched the snickering microscope from time to time through the wrapping paper, I accidentally caught a glimpse of him taking out the wallet and business card holder from the inner pocket of the suit at the same time. After the man left, the younger brother asked his father innocently, why did he tell such lies to him?But I somehow feel that it seems better not to ask. That guy was a bad guy in the past when he secretly embezzled the company's money, so it's best not to get involved, so my father said.Sweat broke out on his brow.At that time, I suddenly felt an inexplicable uneasiness. Could it be that the person who stole the public funds was not that person, but my father?Looking back now, it is impossible for a father with few worldly desires to do such a thing. Yohei, however, had no memory of this at all. "I remember very clearly the day Takashimaya bought me a microscope. You couldn't be confused with other memories, right? Or, your fantasy and memory are getting entangled." "Nonsense." "Father and mother are indeed a bit closed, but they are obviously typical kind and serious citizens." "Then let me ask you, what do you think of this matter? Ordinary parents should be more willing to tell their children about their youth or childhood. But, at most, we only know that father and mother both How did Mom and Dad meet, where and what they did before they met each other, we haven’t heard them mention it. Not only that, but we have never heard about our own childhood. Mom and Dad deliberately didn’t go When it comes to the past, it must be something that happened in the past.” "But I've heard about my birth. For example, I was only 2,400 grams when I was born, so they were very worried. I also have a lot of hair on my body, and I even have black lanugo on my back." My younger brother absolutely did not understand how much impact these words had on me. "Did you hear what Mom said?" "Yup." I stared at Yohei who had been attracted by the pear pie, and a cold loneliness filled my heart. "That's when I'm not around. You were born after our family moved to Komagawa City, so it's probably fine, but they won't talk about it when I'm around. Because it's impossible to just talk about what happened when you were born, But nothing about me. I never remember hearing where I was born or how I was born. Even the photos, you know? They were all gone in the fire before, not even a single one Leave." "I don't quite understand...Xiao Liang, you've obviously fully believed that when you moved to Komagawa, Mom switched packages with someone else." For the first time, Yohei showed a bewildered, or rather an expression close to fear. Was that fear stemming from some kind of doubt about my parents, or was it aimed at me?unknown.