Chapter 15 Part 1.7.3

But she didn't understand why they lost their minds in the evening, and they searched everywhere but couldn't find a place to stay.They wandered in the shadows of dusk, brushing like a dark tide—coming, brushing—passing again. They threw themselves at those brick kilns, forests, and ruined temples time and time again—there must be a place where they could live later, which was similar to their homes—but they seemed to find their own mistakes again and again, and they became more and more out of control. More and more flustered and noisy, from those brick kilns, forests, and ruined temples, they repeatedly plundered.

The crows hoarse their throats in their searching calls.That hoarse voice, in the cold wind that was getting tighter and tighter in Xiang Wan, made her feel a little better with her suffering and nothing to complain about... The crows certainly don't know that it is they who left Wu Wei's attachment and hurt to Dusk in Wu Wei's heart long ago. Especially on the days when the sky is full of rain, the dark clouds and rain crowd them, press them heavily, make things difficult and tease them, and force them to fly, fly, fly in the boundless sky... They have to change Li D fluttered his wings frantically to shake off the heavy load of rain...but in the blink of an eye, he had to flap his wings again.And the shaking of the wings became weaker and weaker.What hope is there but exhaustion?She thought sadly that she didn't know what she could do for the crow that everyone hated.She also ran to the edge of the Wei River alone in rainy and gloomy weather, stealing peanuts planted by farmers on the river bank.Although he is not a farmer's child, he is familiar with all the methods of farmer's children stealing crops.

She is jumping on the peanut seedlings.She stomped the weight of her small body on the peanut seedlings time and time again, and after a while, she, who was wearing thin clothes, had dense beads of sweat on her nose.When the sand under his feet gradually loosened, he pulled up the peanut seedling.The land at that time was more generous than it is now, and there were strings of plump peanuts growing under the peanut seedlings.She didn't care to shake off the sand on the peanut seedlings, so she sat on the wet river beach and eagerly stuffed the peeled peanuts into her mouth.The mouthful is immediately delicious and slightly sweet of new peanuts, as well as the moist smell of deep sandy soil.Now, the smell penetrated her whole body from her mouth, and she seemed to have turned into a peanut under the sand.She chewed so hard and excitedly.Suddenly there was a rolling muffled sound coming from the ground, the muffled sound passed through her whole body with a steady vibration, and rushed out of Baihui.She seemed to be frozen, she stopped chewing at a loss, her mouth was half open, her cheeks were covered with sand, and she looked around with her eyes wide open.

Only then did I feel that the four fields are so wild and empty. On both sides of the Wei River, the plateau that seemed more inexhaustible than emptiness, and more untraceable than barbarism, stared down menacingly, making her turn her head in horror... Except for the weary Wei River, which has experienced many vicissitudes of life, there is nothing worth exploring. staring at him like this. The Weishui River suddenly became dark, rolling, twisting, and turbulent under the rapidly stacking clouds, trying in vain to show off their original grandeur... Helpless, they couldn't break free from the world where they galloped, and the It is the river that locks their shackles.

The plateaus on both sides of the north and south banks and the Weihe River running from east to west, attracting and resisting, hating and infatuated, expecting and despairing, squeezing each other, rubbing, fighting... almost crushed. I came here by chance and saw it by chance. Only heaven can know its secret Wu Wei. In the confrontation between the plateau and the Weihe River, the originally vast world was squeezed narrower and narrower until they became entangled as one. It was hard to tell which was the plateau and which was the Weihe River, let alone Caught in the middle, the little girl Wu Wei is like a speck of dust.Like a fossil, she touched into the plain or the Weihe River.From then on, she had a unique feeling, a feeling so strong that it frightened her.

At night, when Ye Lianzi was grading students' homework, Wu Wei sat on the threshold of Danyang Guanshan Gate, staring into the darkness. The night air moves solemnly and slowly over the plateau, like the end of an a cappella chorus, soaking the common people who have survived the day and finally rested in its gentleness.In her memory, starlight and moonlight do not often shine on the plateau.Thinking of the night on the plateau, I can’t always distinguish the darkness of the sky and the earth, and occasionally a little dark red appears on the fault of the plateau. It should be the oil lamp in the cave dwelling, sharply embedded in the thick and heavy darkness , full of innocence, and shyly conveying the unreasonable reserve of the impetuous external world, but it shows the loneliness that cannot be echoed.

The ten-year-old she sighed inexplicably, and then sighed again. What can soothe the sorrow of this wasteland? From the laminated layers or exposed faults of the loess, she gradually read what was not narrated to her, the desolation that cannot be decorated, cannot be constructed, boundless, and is older than prehistoric, as well as the mystery and fate that are so soul-stirring.She always thought that the silent Yuan would eventually settle accounts with humans, but she couldn't see it anymore.But every time she read it, she mercilessly made her understand what it means to be forever unknowable, and because of the never-knowledge, the unreachable, because of the unreachable, hopeless, in the sinking of hopelessness, in the sinking In the dull pain of falling, a kind of great compassion hit her.

Since then, she has had a mysterious identification with the ancient, disdainful, and majestic Yuan. She, who has no place to retreat, is clear because of this recognition, and Cang Ran...finally admits that Yuan is their last anchorage. Her background is not Yuan! With such a plateau supporting them below, isn't it the thickest foreshadowing? The Yuan around Linggu Village is even more integrated with Ye Lianzi when Wu Wei was a teenager.This is not to say that she ignorantly compares Ye Lianzi's suffering with the original work, but it is probably appropriate to say that Ye Lianzi is a grain of soil, a detail, and a prop under the original.In the middle of the night, she suddenly missed Yuan and Ye Lianzi around Linggu Village so much that she couldn't help herself, so she took the train from Xi'an back to Linggu Village by herself in the middle of the night.Although she only stayed in Linggu Village for a few hours, she still had to return to Xi'an before the next morning's class.

The night was so thick and solid that you could actually hold it in your hand. I can't see anything in front of me, but her plateau, leading her uphill, downhill, across low-lying areas, and over old trees... makes her take her left foot, right foot, right foot, left foot... In the darkness, her original body surrounded her with spotless purity and protected her, and brought back many souls who had gone away from another world to accompany and fly around her, making her suffer from childhood in the world of light. The shock dissipated without a trace.Only her deep attachment to Yuan and her mother remained, the two most simple emotions.So, how can she expect to know and stay together with Hu Bingchen who has never seen the surroundings of Linghu Village before?

11 Everything seems to be back to normal. Under Yu Tian's plea, Ye Lianzi finally got the letter of appointment for the next semester because of the station master's intervention and the help of Teacher Qin.Mr. Zhao continued to teach his geography, and Wu Wei also continued to take her geography class. There was only one thing that was slightly different from the past—every time Mr. Zhao taught geography at sea, Wu Wei peed his pants once. All in all, her faults cannot be entirely blamed on Mr. Zhao.After leaving Gu Qiushui, Wu Wei's problem of wetting his trousers and bed has gradually improved, but Teacher Zhao's severe beating brought this problem back.

If people passed through Baoji Xichengguan in the winter of 1944, they would always see a little girl of a few years old, squatting outside the gray brick wall of the "Gonghe" office in Baoji, doing nothing except putting The snot that was dripping from the cold was sucked back into the nasal cavity. The door of the collective dormitory is locked; Ye Lianzi can't beg everyone: don't lock the door, it's freezing, let Xiao Wuwei have a shelter from the wind, a child of a few years old stays alone in the dormitory, and the robbers come Thief, who is to blame if something happens? She had no money to send Wu Wei to kindergarten, so she could only let Wu Wei wander around the streets like a little wild dog. Wu Wei has nowhere to go, so he has to squat outside the wall of "Gonghe", separated from his mother who works in the concierge, only by a wall.It's very close to mom, isn't it? Every day, every day, she squatted there, waiting for her mother to get off work.At that moment, due to the absence of severe cold and dinner waiting, the cold limbs, body and cheeks can be warmed up by mother's rubbing, and a place called home can be returned to, which becomes very concrete.That kind of waiting should really be called longing, a very specific longing in the midst of hunger and cold.When she grew up, she learned a song whose first line was "Arise, hungry and cold slave..." Whenever she sang these words, these scenes and feelings of hunger and cold would reappear, not to mention the fact that she never Been a servant since the age of two.So she sang more and more deeply, solemn and sacred, full of blood, and warm in the ears, but somehow she was still classified as bourgeois.In the character appraisal of university graduates, she exclusively enjoys seven bourgeois titles, such as bourgeois outlook on life, bourgeois love, bourgeois values, bourgeois humanitarianism, bourgeois theory of human nature, bourgeois literature and art, bourgeois aesthetics, Collecting all the bourgeoisie can be said to be the culmination of the bourgeoisie. They are laid out one by one from top to bottom, neatly facing each other, harmonious and gorgeous, magnificent and mighty, like the style of Han and Wei dynasties. It's not surprising if you think about it, don't forget that Wu Wei also has such a grandmother, the color of blood may be inherited. In the early 1940s, there was only one small street running from east to west in Baoji City, and there were almost no buildings. However, residents who love buildings always build bricks a few meters high on the front eaves of their houses facing the street to disguise the buildings in order to be spectacular. The wind in the northwest was very strong, and one day the strong wind knocked down a false building, and the son of a "Gonghe" colleague was crushed to death by the false building. Baoji City was actually built on a slope, and the north city wall was built on the plateau. It is a mountain city with walls and plateaus integrated.Going out of the south gate is downhill, and walking downhill for more than 300 meters is the Weihe River.There are wolves on the mountain, not only at night, but also not only outside the city, the wolves sometimes enter the city, running around on the street recklessly. Ye Lianzi has personally seen refugee children bitten by wolves, with bloody ears and cheeks. They usually live in abandoned cave dwellings outside the city without doors, windows, or shelter. After the Japanese captured Zhengzhou and Luoyang in 1944, Guanzhong was in an emergency, and Japanese planes would come whenever they wanted to, and they would drop a bomb in Baoji City at any time to make a joke. Ye Lianzi was always worried, whether Wu Wei, who was wandering around in the street, would meet a wolf?There is a lot of wind in the northwest, who knows which fake building will collapse?Is she cold?Will Japanese planes come to attack? ...' The child has neither patience nor stamina, but after being frozen in the street for a while, Wu Wei felt unbearably cold and couldn't help calling his mother outside the wall. When Ye Lianzi heard Wu Wei's shout, her heart became flustered, and she hurried out to rub Wu Wei's purple face from the cold, wipe her snot, and warm her little hands for Wu Wei who was squatting in the corner. I think her waiting has become very beautiful. Mrs. Lu, who is used to living in the UK, "raised" her British face (this kind of face was often seen in the early British black-and-white films), and said: "Mrs. Gu, you should know that we have no obligation to you. , if you do other things during working hours, I'm afraid we can't bear it even more." Ye Lianzi felt ashamed.In fact, she doesn't have to be like this. Mrs. Lu, who has lived in England for a long time, looks down on everyone except those who have lived in England. Mrs. Lu's progress is progress, and the war of resistance is the war of resistance, just like Song Meiling also fought the war of resistance. This does not mean that she has communist consciousness or civilian consciousness. Although Mrs. Lu expresses her dissatisfaction and contempt for Ye Lianzi in a very British way, Wu Wei, who has no idea what Britain is, can still see the cruelty hidden behind the British upbringing.She didn't understand, how could the mothers of her playmates Lu Hu, Lu Bao and Lu Yan treat her mother like this? Looking at her mother's face again, she knew that her mother was humiliated because of herself, so she decided not to let her suffer such insults from now on, and never went to play at Lu Yan's house again, although they would sometimes give her an extremely rare piece of chocolate. When Mr. Lu promised Zou Keren and Gu Qiushui that it would be better if they found a job, and if they couldn't find a job, Ye Lianzi and Wu Wei would have a living, but there was no legal contract or contract. Mrs. Lu, who is accustomed to the management mechanism of Western companies, hated Ye Lianzi's mixed public and private spaces, and went outside to take care of her children during working hours. Therefore, when "Gonghe" was dismissed, Ye Lianzi was the first to be laid off. Her deep dislike is absolutely understandable. This kind of big pot of rice will indeed be a major obstacle to the development of the socialist economy in the future. Wu Wei never saw her partner again, that Lu Yan who was born in Europe and always wore an English tweed skirt, shaking her head and singing "Azalea"—— Pale March day, Rhododendron blooms on the hillside, Rhododendrons bloom by the creek, How beautiful, like a village girl, Like a little girl from the village. Last year, the little girl from the village went to the stream, Sing a folk song with my lover, Broken azaleas stuck in the hair. This year the village girl, to the creek, Rhododendron blooms again after withering, Remembered the lover on the battlefield. Picked off a bright red rhododendron, Looking at the horizon of the beacon fire, Brother, you came back from victory, I put rhododendrons on your breast, No more plugging in your own hair. I only heard that during the "Cultural Revolution", Lu Yan fell to the ground.I don't know if she had foreseen her own ending from what happened to her father?Anyway, he died without any regrets.When she finally escaped the "revolution"'s affront to dignity, would she jump around mischievously, clap her hands, and laugh like she did when she was a child? In a photo from the past, Lu Yan had a big bow on her head that was as big as her head, and her eyes were wide open with astonishment. She didn't know what she saw at that moment, which shocked her endlessly. Regardless of the festivals of the previous generation or the later social taxonomy, what does it have to do with them?Wu Wei lost his lovely playmate anyway. In 1947, Mr. Lu finally withdrew from "Gonghe" and became a consultant on Far East affairs at the United Nations Refugee Bureau in Geneva. At that time Zhou Enlai and Mr. Lu were still friends, and asked him: Have you resigned from the United Nations? He said: No excuses. Zhou Enlai: Farewell, we have not yet joined the United Nations, but there is still a United Nations office in China in Shanghai, you might as well work there to send international refugees out to reduce our burden. On the eve of the liberation of the mainland in 1949, Mr. Lu had the opportunity to go to Taiwan.Taiwan also sent telegrams and letters to and from Geneva. But after much deliberation, Mr. Lu decided to return to the mainland.Afterwards, the Secretary-General of the United Nations appointed Mr. Lu as the Director of the United Nations Office in Shanghai.During this period, he transported more than 2,000 international refugees from Tianjin (because international ships could not enter Shanghai), and returned to Beijing after the work was over. As soon as he arrived in Beijing, the relevant authorities sent him to study at the Revolutionary University. Based on his experience, it was clear at a glance that he was asked to explain historical issues. It is difficult to see my friend Zhou Enlai again.Then I couldn't see it at all. But he shouldn't have sighed like that: I'm not a friend anymore. How could it be possible for Zhou Enlai, who was busy with everything, to meet every friend who had helped the Communist Party?No matter how much work that friend did for the victory of the Chinese revolution.If he continues to meet every friend who has helped the Communist Party, how can he handle national affairs that are more important than meeting friends? Don't think that you have never participated in any party. Mr. Lu, who joined the Department of Chemistry of Peking University in 1923, served as a student officer at Peking University and chairman of the Northeast Association, can easily pass historical issues. Mr. Lu’s complication lies in the fact that he went to England to study economics in 1929. He had done a lot of research on the peasant cooperative movement in England, Ireland, and Denmark. Mao Zedong used "violent actions" to solve rural problems and sang a different tune.Although the Communist Party used "violent actions" to solve the rural problems in 1949, Mr. Lu still refused to accept Mao Zedong's violent revolution. He has repeatedly stated that after the September 18th Incident, in 1932 he gave up his scholarship to study a doctorate in the UK and resolutely returned to China to participate in his.The so-called revolution.However, in Mao Zedong's famous novel "Farewell, Leighton Stuart", the protagonist Leighton Stuart, the provost of Yenching University, retained Mr. Lu as the director of the Student Advisory Committee. Mr. Lu not only mobilized the students to go to the countryside to help the farmers, but he also took off his British suits and put on a double-breasted coat, and went to the countryside of Hebei with the students, and set up a cotton production cooperative with the farmers. If you read Yenching University's school magazine in 1932, you can also find reports about this trip in the school magazine. By 1937, more than 240 college students had been recruited to participate in this work, uniting Peking University, Tsinghua University, Qilu University, Nankai University and other famous universities, and the influence was very great.But he repeatedly explained that this was because the May 4th Movement made intellectuals realize that the combination of workers and peasants is the general trend of society, not due to other theories! 12 The cold wind whizzing down the street against the land, just came to Wu Wei's place and twisted it ferociously, mercilessly wringing away the little bit of warmth from her body. Snowflakes flew up, and her hair and clothes were wet.She longed for a little fire.However, she didn't even have the box of matches in "The Little Match Girl" to comfort herself.No, she can't call her mother, no.Mrs. Lu stared into her mother's eyes, which was more ruthless than the cold wind that twisted one after another ferociously on the ground.She stood up from the corner and took a walk on the street, her shoes soon got wet.She jumped up and stamped her cold feet, but the jump made her hungrier. Put some hot air on your hands, the air that comes out of your mouth is also cold. How come no one comes to the street?If there were more people on the street, it might not be so cold.She was looking forward, looking forward, but for a long time, there was no one in sight.More than 50 years ago, there were only "400 million compatriots" in China.The northwest is remote, and a small mountain city in the northwest is even more desolate and less populated.There are very few pedestrians on the street, let alone in winter.It should be normal for Wu Wei not to see a single person on the street for half a day. Just like Mr. Lu, in order to set up a rural production cooperative, he cooperated with Peking University, Tsinghua University, Qilu University, Nankai University and other famous universities to mobilize more than 240 college students. At the end of the twentieth century, there were more than two hundred and forty college students in even one grade. Oh, yes, yes, someone came over with an umbrella, Wu Wei covered his face and leaned forward, hoping that the person would take a look at her, and it would be even better if he said something to her.But the umbrella covered the man's face, and he didn't see the little girl who was leaning forward. How long will it take for mom to get off work? Wu Wei swings around, swings around, but after wandering on the street for a few hours, it feels so long, so long.The severe cold on the street also ended together. When will winter be over? Every morning, when she saw the window paper getting brighter, she always wanted to cry aloud at the gradually approaching day.But she can't cry, if she cries, what will mother do?If their mothers don't go to work, they will have nothing to eat. She was more and more unable to cope with the endless and overwhelming cold day after day.She developed a fear of the cold mingled with despair, and she collapsed. Her pants-wetting and bed-wetting problems were not thorough enough, and she would relapse once she faced collapse or extreme fear. When a colder day came, she had to piss her pants. There is often a thin layer of ice on the outside of her crotch. As soon as the off-duty time arrived, Ye Lianzi rushed out of the gate of "Gonghe".She always touched Wu Wei's pants first, and touched the icy dirt with her hands.Ye Lianzi, who loves to cry, rubbed Wu Wei's cold butt in vain, while blinking the tears in her eyes and asked, "Tell mom, is it cold?" Well, even her mouth and consciousness seemed to be covered with ice.No matter what Ye Lianzi said, Wu Wei always looked like he couldn't untie the cold, and didn't answer. Ye Lianzi hurriedly dragged Wu Wei back to the dormitory, changed her wet cotton trousers, and hurriedly carried the tea mug to the cafeteria to buy food. The white enamel tea mug can be called extraordinary, not only is it not willing to be shabby at the mouth of the cup.Dotted with a circle of bright blue, it also serves as a rice cooker, kettle, washing, drinking water, and other important tasks. Whenever Ye Lianzi came back with the teapot of unidentified boiled vegetables, the cold rice mixed with grass sticks and fine sand, or the gritty steamed buns with mixed noodles, she always couldn't wait to step into the teapot. Threshold said to Wu Wei: "Look, the meal is here." That tone was like saying "French cuisine is here!" Then she lit the charcoal stove to heat up the rice, and toasted Wu Wei's wet cotton pants, and a strange smell rose from the room. When the charcoal fire ignited and the tea mug was placed on the charcoal fire again, the mother and daughter always looked at each other in unison.There are so many indescribable meanings, just communicating in the eyes of their mother and daughter.Ye Lianzi, who had been fighting alone all this time, should no longer be alone. Wu Wei stuck to that charcoal fire, almost.With a feeling of admiration, he watched Ye Lianzi tremblingly turning the food in the tea mug.Anything related to eating a full stomach, no matter to Ye Lianzi or to Wu Wei, is quite solemn and sacred. Although Ye Lianzi was careful, for fear that any grain of rice would fall out of the tea mug, there were always a few grains of rice that fell out out of conscience. Before Ye Lianzi bent down to pick up the few grains of rice, Wu Wei had already picked them out from the bottom of the stove and the cracks in the ground with her little fingers, and put them back into the tea mug. While Ye Lianzi was stirring the dishes that filled one stomach almost enough to fill two stomachs, she thought with shame, how much Wu Wei had suffered for nothing and innocently with an incompetent mother like her! Apart from saving as much food as possible for Wu Wei, what else can she do?Especially breakfast, she has never eaten it, she has to let Wu Wei eat a little more, Wu Wei has to spend a day on the street, in such a cold season!Not to mention a small child, it is not easy to be afraid of an adult! But they also have moments of joy.Every Saturday, my colleagues either go to the movies or go to a small restaurant.Ye Lianzi has no money, no mood, and is a lonely person who is not good at talking and socializing. She can only stay in the dormitory, and the dormitory has become their world.Wu Wei seemed to have thawed at this time, and walked around Ye Lianzi with deep satisfaction, telling his mother what he had seen and heard while wandering the streets all day. Ye Lianzi washed Wu Wei's hands and face, and buried a few potatoes in the hot ashes of the charcoal stove, and they sat around the charcoal stove, patiently waiting for the potatoes that were about to be cooked. Baked by the charcoal fire, Wu Wei's malnourished little face actually turned a little healthy red - even if it was only a short-lived one, it made Ye Lianzi happy for a while. 13 When Wu Wei was a child, he neither wet his pants nor the bed. Why did he pee his pants and get up when he grew up? Even to someone who has lost his mind and doesn't know what shame is, it's cruel to talk about how she wets her pants or bed.But in the next part of this book, the reason why she wets her pants and bed has to be traced back.